New Years Resolution #1...Get this mess cleaned up and cut the body fat. Hard process, but I'm determined.
New Years Resolution #2...Arrange original musical pieces into format for recording.
New Years Resolution #3...Practice, Practice, Practice makes PERFECT?!

Happy New Year 2007

Preludes & Fugues

It is about 1:15 AM here in Queenstown, New Zealand. Enjoyed the fire works show the town performed at midnight from the rugby field, been watching the ROYAL PERFORMANCE of BRITISH ENTERTAINMENT from LONDON on the telly. I have celebrated New Years in NZ 16 times.

RESOLUTIONS are good. I believe in them. I have always made a list of things I want to accomplish within a new year and often times I have achieved my goals. I do not make resolutions that are beyond my grasp! I often list books I want to read during the year. Certain pieces of music I hope to 'nail down' by the end of 365 days. To goodness and wisdom we only make promises; we obey pain! I find it's better to prepare for an opportunity that may never come than to have an opportunity but find myself UNPREPARED!

If anyone reading these ramblings of mine, need a goal for 2007 here is one. IF YOU DON'T READ ANOTHER BOOK THIS YEAR READ: "LETTER TO A CHRISTIAN NATION" by Sam Harris. I need not say more. READ IT!

Tomorrow is a lazy, hazy, crazy kind of day...no plans, but to laze around and do little if nothing at all. Come Tues. appointments, work outs, practice times and so many things I enjoy will be on my plate.

DO have a fantastic NEW YEAR! I look forward to meeting and making new acquaintance and friends during 2007 and I treasure the friendships I have made all of my lifetime. Much love, from BJ

There's a feeling of Christmas

Preludes & Fugues
A photo of our Xmas Tree here in the house in Queenstown. There is a feeling of
Christmas in the air as shoppers are out and about and everyone seems to be talking about family dinners and socials. We are staying home. I am baking a turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, real cranberry sauce and mince pie. A bottle of good wine, great coffee and chocolates. NO GIFTS! We promised NO GIFTS this year. The gift of all of us being together is a gift that no money can buy. I spent Thanksgiving with my family in Utah before coming to New Zealand this year and that was a first in many many years.
I suppose everyday should be a HOLIDAY, but Christmas is a BIG HOLIDAY and very stressful for many people. NOT ME. I promised myself I would have a wonderful UN STRESSFUL Christmas and I am. Big stress for me is getting up in the morning and hitting the gym! Merry Ho Ho.

There's a feeling of Christmas

Serendipity or Coincidence...

Preludes & Fugues

Last Thursday we drove to the city of Dunedin. Dunedin reminds me of San Francisco Calif. when I was a kid. Same weather, same steep hills, old Victorian houses, coffee houses that still have wild art work and poetry readings, street musicians and buskers. I could very easily live in Dunedin. We went over to see some movies, shop and enjoy the beauty of the four hour drive. For some reason I INSISTED that I take my Power Book with me. I always travel with my ipod, vodafone, journal and one change of clothing, but this trip I wanted the computer.
I had called around Dunedin last year looking for a recording studio. Not much luck but was told to call Radio House. There had been a storm and the roof had caved in on the studio section of the building. NO recording sessions last year.
Here I am a year later and I decided to find Radio House and inquire about recording some of my original pieces. This is a building where the main national radio station and other radio shows are produced. Lots of interesting personalities work inside this huge office. I asked at the front desk and yes, they did have a recording engineer. Out comes a 30 to 40 age man, ear rings in both ears, tattoos and great hair.
"Sorry mate, but we don't do commercial recordings anymore, however, there is an American Bloke that owns a guitar shop in town on the Octagon called "TWANG", his name is Hyrum and he might know of someone or a place where you can do studio recordings."
(Mind you, I have walked by TWANG well over a hundred times in all the years I have been coming to Dunedin. Off I go to meet Hyrum.
This shop is old. Lead cut glass windows, old tiles and hard wood floors, instruments hanging from the rafters, instrument cases stacked on the dusty floor, every-kind of thing you can imagine for a guitar. I LOVE THESE KIND OF SACRED HAUNTS! The place has young 'wanna be' long haired musicians, and punk style kids looking around. A man probably 50ish approaches me with a smile,
"How can I help? oh, I am Hyrum."
Hyrum has been living in New Zealand for 23 years. He is from California. Long graying hair in a pony tail, glasses, very thin and so kind! I explained my situation and he says,
"Not a problem. Do you have a computer with you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
(just so happens I DO and it is a MAC) He explained that he could down load a great little system for me to record from my piano to the computer, the program is called Garageband. He told me to be at the shop by 10 AM Saturday morning. I was on cloud nine!
THe next morning is pouring rain, but I walk to TWANG and Hyrum is a half hour late, but I do not care, there is a great coffee house across the street and a used book store. I peruse these places as I keep glancing across the street. AH! finally Hyrum walks up to open his door. This man spent two hours down loading the program and showing me things about my computer. GOD he has two note book Macs on stands and he literally went into my BLACK SCREEN WITH WHITE WORDS ON IT, what I used to call DOS and repaired a couple of things that were going on with my machine. Amazing guy. He wrote down things I would need when I got back in order to jack the piano to the computer. I asked what I owed him, he laughed and said,
"You owe me NOTHING! Learn how to use the program and let me hear your music someday..."
I was overwhelmed by this man's kindness and willingness to help musicians. A young man came in the shop and needed guitar strings. The kid looked starved, but happy, he told Hyrum that he only had $14.00 in his bank account. Hyrum found the package of strings and they came to nearly sixteen dollars. The young man's face dropped and he walked towards the door. Hyrum said,
"Look it's Christmas time. You have $14.00 give it to me and we'll call it even, besides a man has to be able to make music regardless of money."
The young man's face broke into a smile wide enough to catch flies. He thanked Hyrum over and over and dashed out of the door into the pouring rain. I complemented Hyrum on his kindness and promised him that the kindness and generosity he gave to help others would be returned to him double fold. (thing is, HE KNEW IT!)
If I had not followed my instinct to take the computer I would not have Garageband in my computer and I would not have met a beautiful soul like Hyrum and I now have my hands and mind full of challenges and new learning curves. I will figure out how to use this magical tool for creating music!
What's the old saying? FOLLOW YOUR HEART! My heart led my soul to a blessing last week end. Could it be a type of serendipity or just stupidity!

Lake Wikatipu

Preludes & Fugues
I took this photo last year. This one of New Zealand's largest bodies of inland water. EXTREMELY COLD WATER! If you fall into the lake without wearing a wet suit it can mean freezing to death! There has always been a story about a giant that lives at the bottom of the lake. This giant breathes thus causing the water to raise and fall many inches from hour to hour. Other tales claim that the lake is bottomless, meaning that the ocean is the force pulling the water levels up and down.
The lake is a powerful source of beauty and strength. I can gaze upon it for hours watching changes of light and shadow on the water. During storms the water is wretched. I see this body of water before I go to bed at night and when I awake in the morning. Water is SACRED.

Lupin in QT. Grand Tetons in WY

MY Studio in Queenstown!

Preludes & Fugues

Some of you have sent me E mails requesting a picture of my studio in Queenstown. This is a photo of the inside of my studio. Sometimes my friends refer to is as my LAB and some people I live with call it my Sacred Space! I spend a lot of time in this small pixel. I made the curtains. The desk holds my lap top, books, coffee cups, snacks, manuscript paper, any notes I have made to myself of things that intrest me from a telephone number to a web site.
The Electric Piano is a Techniques. IT IS WONDERFUL. I use a Bose head set when practicing or playing so it does not bother anyone. I have wonderful candles, photos and some art on the walls. I have a large collection of stones. Some are truly amazing rocks and crystals. I have a make-shift book case cupboard on the end wall full of books, medicines, herbs, oils, CD's art supplies, fine wines and other VICES! The room is carpeted and has it's own entrance from the outside. You cannot enter the place from inside the house! (I love it!) I have my very own living space. The window looks out on the REMARKABLES and LAKE WIKATIPU. Those of you that saw the Lord of The Rings will recognize the picture I feast upon every day and night. I can step outside the door onto the porch and see the evening stars, moon and milky way. The Sunsets are magnificent but I do not see the Sunrise without stepping off the porch. It is my Shangralie.
I meditate, read, write and make music in this sacred space. WELCOME.

My Studio in Queenstown!

Eleven Days Update...

Preludes & Fugues

Been in NZ for 11 days as of this morning! It's so good to be back and have people recognize you. Almost every cabbie that drives me home from down town says,
"Welcome back! I know right where to go. 11 Panorama Place. So how was your season? How old is your mum now? Did your brother finish his garden project? Still playing the piano?" It is rather comforting to know that IF, God Forbid, I fell over on the sidewalk someone would grab me up and drive me where I needed to be!
Christmas decorations and the 6' Christmas tree are decorated and glittering the sprit of the season in rays of colored light.
Had two intense work outs at the gym. I am about half way through Stienbeck's classic,
Grapes of Wrath. Am reading another good book: HEAT, by Bill Bouford, all about restaurant kitchens and the prep cooks, line cooks, gofers that work in them!
Spending time with my Mac and searching for information about everything from bread recipes to the International Space Station. Getting caught up on E mails
and most of all loving not having any DEAD LINES TO MEET or any REAL SCHEDULES THAT HAVE TO BE KEPT!
I go to bed when I want and I get up when I want!
Have a dear friend visiting from Wellington. Beverly is right out of the 50's and 60's. She is a love and at times, can be a re-incarnate of Carol Burnett! We watched an old movie made 50 years ago: The Long Long Trailer, with Desi Arnez and Lucille Ball. OMG those dresses that Lucy wears are indescribable! American MORALS one more time, but in the movie the bedrooms have to have TWO BEDS for a married couple! and the couple always don PJ'S before turning in, yet in this movie there is a shower scene with Ricky where he gets into the shower naked and can't adjust the sprayer. INTERESTING cause the scene goes on for some time exposing most of his naked body except the pubes! We all
laughed till our ribs were aching.
I will learn how to post pictures this blog so I can show people what my studio looks like, people I talk about look like and where in hell I am living!
Today I will meet up with a most interesting young woman. She is a delight. We met at a private gym years ago and she works in the Sex Industry. Mind you most of these people are 20 years younger than me, but the stories, the desires, the insecurities, the fears are the same as I experienced 50 years ago and through out my life.
I filled my room with various bottles and glasses filled with cut roses from the gardens a couple of days ago. It smells heavenly in here!
I'm going to have breakfast on the patio, then begin my walking regime to Frankton along the shores of the Lake. I'm packing a light lunch of cheese, thin sliced roast beef and slices of crusty sour dough bread and a thermos of strong hot coffee. It will appear that I am stark raving mad as I will be talking to myself as I walk, but I actually talk to people that are long dead or not with me, but always on my mind and deep within my heart. (who ever is reading this, well, you might be one of those people I am yapping with! ! Really Scary huh?!!)

Santity of marriage...

Preludes & Fugues

Mary Cheney is going to have a baby! As I recall the Republican's screamed, ranted and raved over the fact that IF THEY WERE NOT RE-ELECTED GAYS WOULD DESTROY the SOLOEM SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE !!!!!!!!!!!!! Mary is a LESBIAN. 100%. Not just a little bit. She claims she did not DECIDE to be a lesbian.
She is very open about it.
She is having a baby OUT OF WED LOCK! I do not know IF her daddy is completely against gay marriage? His buddy Doctor Dobson must be going crazy (the christian
family man) the Republican party he has supported in more ways than with money will enjoy the blessing of a grandchild for one of it's blessed sons, Dicky Boy and the sad part is his daughter is having a baby without a FATHER! TWO LESBIAN MOTHERS? Who will be the FATHER IMAGE? Grandpa? Dobson had his ass kicked sideways only weeks ago when one of his most prominent PREACHERS FOR FAMILY VALUES was outed by a male prostitute that he paid for sexual services the past five years!!!!!! God does move in mysterious ways, his wonders to perform.

I donated to a sperm bank in LA nearly 40 years ago. I needed money to get back home to Utah. Seemed harmless at the time and I do believe my seeds are long dead...hopefully Mary didn't go to LA for the Turkey Baster Juice! OMG.

Maybe she's had enough of daddy and the BS of the Republican party. Any self-righteous Elephant Republican Bigot talks to me about VALUES and WAR and THE
CONSERVATIVE MORALS OF THE RED STATE PEOPLE...well I have only one thing to respond with: Mary Cheney no doubt is the blessed Mary and had a moment when the spirit of the Lord overshadowed her and she has had a immaculate conception what ever. GO FIGURE !

I am so happy that Bush has two more glorious years to follow his HIGHER FATHER'S GUIDANCE and run to DICK C. (Dick head is to George W. kinda like what Peter was to Jesus...best buddy? of possibly Judas, you know the thing about the kiss of betrayal! May the whole house of cards fall, but WE the people will save the day.

Remember the old joke when the two idiots were elected the first time?
FOR ONCE WE HAVE A BUSH WITH A DICK IN THE WHITE HOUSE. Well, I wonder who is 'putt-in' IT to who?

Al Gore's Movie

Preludes & Fugues
Yesterday afternoon I viewed Al Gores Movie about the Environment. Stunning and yes intelligent. He did not go into any 'religious dogma" or binge out about some kind of new philosophy. It was fact upon fact about what we have and are doing to our planet! Only thing I
can say is: GO SEE IT and then THINK. I came home and pinned a 3x5 card up behind the toilet: "IF IT'S YELLOW LET IT MELLOW IF IT'S BROWN FLUSH IT DOWN" (lived this way in the 70's we really did!)
I have been shutting lights off that I do not use at night and I am observing nature with a gentleness I have not experienced in years.
My only hope is: ever since I was about 10 years old I have wondered IF we are alone in the universe or IS THERE SOMEONE ELSE OUT THERE! I do hope that If there is someone OUT THERE they can help us to continue life on planet earth in harmony with all other forms of life. Plank once said something to this effect:
When we change our attitude and the way we OBSERVE something IT CHANGES ALSO! Well, I hope we all begin to view the planet and our situation here in a more healing and loving way and that we can steer away from such ECONOMIC/CAPITLISITC INSANITY. God knows I like money and the things it affords me and those that I love, but I can see that over consumption and greed can also put a dreadful end to life as we know it. GO SEE THE MOVIE.

As the World Turns...

Preludes & Fugues
I am in one of my "Blessed Places" on planet Earth, Queenstown, New Zealand. It
seems as if I have never been away for the past 7 months. I leave every year April 28 for the States, Alpine WY. Open the Nordic Inn and work non stop from May 28 until the end of September. Fly to NYC and indulge myself in great art, music, drama, dance and yes the indescribable energy of 8 million people living on a small island! The entire population of New Zealand is half that of NYC. Around 4 million people, 65 million heads of cattle and 85 million heads of sheep. In Alpine WY I live in a population of around 600 humans not to mention all of the amazing wild life and during the tourist season probably 3 million people drive through the area.
I leave a huge house in Alpine and move into a smaller home in QT. My studio here is TINY compared to my GIANT ROOM IN ALPINE. You shall not hear me complain about my very small studio here as it holds my favorite rocks, books, music, small Technics Keyboard, my computer, candles, plants, paintings, photos, desk and various objects of art I have collected in 17 years coming to NZ. It amazes me how we adjust to our surroundings in life!

Today I renewed my membership at the QT GYM. It is a fantastic facility. When I first came here in 1990 the gym was a HARD-CORE-HOUSE-OF-PAIN-SWEAT-TEARS-LOUD MUSIC and seemed to attract AMAZONS and GIANTS. I loved it.
Over the past years a new "state of the art" gym has opened and it is gorgeous.
(Just like the bodies that work out in it's sacred walls...I am not one of those men living in a gorilla suit anymore), but I do love the high I experience of blood rushing through my heart, muscles and the routine of doing something that is good for me! I no longer wear 'tank tops' to work out in, I cover this sagging mess of flesh up with long sleeves on tee shirts and long pants, but underneath all that I feel the 'pump', the 'rush', the 'endorphin high' and the release of any anger, hate, frustration or depression. Practicing the piano gives me the same thrills. (well, for that fact, watching the sunset, the first evening star, or a bird singing into the firmament of heaven can give me a joy I find difficult to express in words.)

Today I purchased a bottle of my favorite wine: Peregrine Winery of Central Otago, a beautiful Pinot Noir 2005. You would love the bouquet, the mystical essence of black cherries, dried spice and rich velvet tannins. It is matured in French oak barriques for over 10 months. It is a complex symphony of surprising textures. I have often described this wine as a prelude to a delightful fugue.

The only place on this planet I can see the "SOUTHERN CROSS" is when I am in the Southern Hemisphere. I love it. Every star of the universe is sacred, but this constellation is a blessed comfort to my soul. Good night to all those I love, you are always with me no matter I roam...

Thank God for Barnes & Nobel

Preludes & Fugues

Thanksgiving was wonderful. Too much food, but the company was exceptional and
it is always wonderful to spend time with family and when you are as old as me, I get to see "genetic DNA" singing it's song in the tiny bodies and faces, personalities and voices of the great grand kids! God, I have no doubt reincarnated in the life of one of my great nieces or nephews!

Being in Utah for almost a week can be really detrimental to my well being, but because of Barnes and Nobel's Bookstore I can sip a cup of delicious coffee, tune into the internet and play with my MAC for a couple of hours. It used to be the GOLDEN ARCHES that I looked for in a foreign country because it was a token of home, but now I always look for Starbucks and Barnes & Nobel.

I will be in the air for New Zealand on Thursday. Oh, BTW, I could never move back to UTAH! Too many people, the driving conditions are hopeless and the air is so filthy I can't breathe. I will kiss the ground in Alpine and I love the air and water. No stop lights in Star Valley and most people know me by name or sight. I'd move to NYC or San Francisco before I'd crash back into the land of
Utards and bigots.
How in hell did I survive all the years I tried to eek out a living in the shadows of the everlasting hills! I'll take Brokeback Mountain any day over this.

Thank you Barnes & Nobel for this moment of reflection and peace. One day I will open a haberdashery called "GYPSY MOON" The tea and scones will be to die for and the music and books will be INTERESTING! Rare treasures and bits of original art for sale. If I ever get all of my dreams and schemes out of my head and into reality I will probably drop dead in amazement! Sometimes my day dreams are safer and better than the real thing! So, I think.

out of country...

Preludes & Fugues

Late this afternoon we will have the water blown out of the pipes. all the timer switches set, security details nailed down and lock the doors of this house as we
begin the journey to New Zealand. Driving to Utah tonight. Spend Thanksgiving
with my folks, get Michael to the air port on Saturday morning as he then will fly to Las Vegas to be with his mother, niece and sister. I will be in Utah with family and friends until November 30th then I fly to LAX, from there into Auckland New Zealand and then to Christchurch. From Christchurch to Queenstown. Get a cab to the house at Panorama Place and begin a restorative, beautiful holiday.
Next time I post will be from Queenstown and I will write more often as I will have the time. Lots to be very thankful this year and most of all I am thankful for friends and the peace and health I enjoy each day of my life.
I'm outta here!

boxes full of memories...

Preludes & Fugues

Every year I deep clean my closet. I do not have a lot of clothing. I do have lots of shoes. I have boots, sandals, dress shoes, casual shoes and hiking boots, of all brands and styles. WHAT IS THIS THING WITH SHOES?

The top shelf in my closet has scrap books, two boxes full of correspondence and there is a trunk on the floor full of books that I cannot part with and journals I have kept the past 20 years. I decided to sort through the scrap books and the two boxes of letters and postcards. THANK GOD I DID NOT EVER THROW THESE LETTERS AND PHOTOS AWAY, because I am very good at getting rid of stuff. I've known that I had class photos of my grade school years but have not known where they ended up. Well, I found them inside a dirty plastic bag that was lost in the bottom of one of the boxes of things my mother gave me a few years back when they were cleaning out their basement and moving to a brand new house. I also found my first Piano Achievement Certificate. I was 10 years old. Also a book I had written in 1959 called "The Way Things Go". (Now, my god, that was a creative title and such simple, but fun reading. I had even illustrated the story and bound it in a cardboard loose leaf binder. I read old letters I had written to a woman during the 70's from Europe and Viet Nam! I found photos of people I have not seen in decades and most of them are dead.

After a couple of hours sorting through the boxes I thought, GET RID OF THIS CRAP. IT MEANS NOTHING TO ANYONE AND BESIDES IT IS REALLY SENTIMENTAL AND SOPPY TO SAVE SUCH STUFF. Lo and Behold, I felt an electrical shock spark through my entire body. It was as if I were being taken over by some force from outside my mind. A THOUGHT AS CLEAR AS GLASS BECAME WORDS THAT SPILLED OUT OF MOUTH: "Don't be stupid! These things are the only measuring stick you have as a monument to the life you have experienced the past 60 years!" "One day someone in your family may find a photo of a person they have heard about or your words may comfort or even guide someone along the many
adventures life presents to us." "Now, carefully dust the boxes and the trunk, put everything back as it was and every once in a while open these treasure chests and breathe life into your own past. Relive some of the tragedies and some of glories and possibly learn from them because now you have a 'perspective' you are at a place where you can see all sides of some of these events and above all else these are the things that have made you who you are today."

DON'T THROW YOUR BABY OUT WITH THE BATH WATER PEOPLE! I'm gonna keep my sordid past and maybe, just maybe write it all down one day when I am really old and my space suit is just about worn out! Living in a digital world is fantastic and I will no doubt have some of these old photos restored. Hell, maybe I could have my entire body restored digitally!

piano in Boise...

Preludes & Fugues

Left Friday afternoon for Boise. The last few years I have absolutely grown to love Boise Idaho and the people...most of all the talents of such amazing young pianists that attend my Master Class. This year was outstanding. Also the spiritual and energizing moments I exchange with one of my dearest friends a most talented and spiritual woman. She is a healer, music teacher as well as her paintings are wonderful. So great, food, long conversations into the wee hours of the morning and the meeting of new people and making new friends makes Boise Idaho one of my many homes on this planet.
Flew home yesterday and dove into this house. Detail cleaning for some dinner parties this coming week and in preparation for my departure for the winter months.

Saw the movie CONVERSATIONS WITH GOD. It is a good flick IF you are into spiritual journeys and have read any of the three books by Neal Walsh. I thought
the main actor was amazing. GREAT MUSIC. Gotta get the theme song.
Speaking of music I purchased a new recording of David Lanz and Gary Straoutsos. OMG, it takes me places I've so often longed to go...another must for meditation and reflection. I recommend it. Another moment of music, Fritz dropped by this afternoon regarding my recording sessions with him this week.
I think I am ready...I am giving this one over to the universe. God willing I will keep my damned ego out of it's path.

Election day...What ever will be will be??????????? Tomorrow I will reveal my feelings about the elections but till then I am going to enjoy a glass of Pinot as I listen to SPRIT ROMANCE and stretch my muscles. In my old age stretching and slowly opening joints and ligaments seems to fill quite a bit of my meditation time. Pianoman's half assed YOGA! It works!

someone with guts...

Preludes & Fugues

Last night I sat with my jaw wide open as I listened to Keith Olbermann lambast this idiot president for almost 10 minutes without a break and what appeared to not his reading a prompt sheet! IT WAS ONE OF THE MOST HONEST ESSAYS I HAVE LISTENED TO IN AGES! FINALLY SOMEONE WITH THE GUTS TO JUST SIMPLY SAY IT LIKE IT IS!

My week thus far has been interesting. I helped Michael spread the ashes of his father and two brothers in the new memorial he is constructing for their remains. I shall always remember OCT. 1st 2006. After we mixed the ashes together and covered them I came to my room. Played Whispering Hope, Amazing Grace, the second movt. of the Pathetique Sonata by Beethoven and the Prelude in C from the WTC by Bach. Lit two candles and knelt beside my piano, which I have used a prayer alter for most of my life. I simply meditated quietly about the delicacy of life and the fact these "ashes" were where they feel and see the first light of morning, they are bathed in silver moon light at night and surrounded by sounds and the grounds and house "they" loved and were a part of and are still very much remembered as a huge part of our history.

Tomorrow I fly to Boise. I love the city and will be fortunate to help four young piano students discover some new and amazing insights into the magical world of making music at the keyboard.

My friend Wayne will be home from TURKEY today! Can't wait to hear the details of what I am sure was an incredible trip. My practice periods have been sacred events and I am always stunned at how I discover new sounds and hidden meanings within the elements of sound and harmony. My Debussy pieces keep unfolding hidden colors and emotions as well as the Bach and Poleunc pieces. Practice makes perfect? Practice makes life worth while! When all the world seems to be falling apart and is full of deceit and lies, I turn to music and it is a constant in my life.

A lovely discovery!

Preludes & Fugues
All my life I have adored poetry. One poet that touched my soul years ago was
Edna St. Vincent Millay. For years I carried a worn paperback copy of her sonnets where ever I traveled. In 1993 after my stint in NYC I flew to Boston, rented a car and drove to Camden Maine. Rockport Maine and attempted to experience the very sand, earth and sky that Edna so dearly loved. It was a very sacred pilgrimage for me artistically as well as I met some amazing people.
The other night I was doing some searching on google and found a VHS titled:
MILLAY AT STEEPLETOP. I immediately ordered it. The gorgeous thing arrived today. It contains 16-mm footage of Edna and Eugene at Steepletop, their 700 acer estate in New York and the interviews with Millay's sister Norma are priceless.
I have viewed the video three times already!
_ My candle burns at both ends;
It will not last the night;
But ah, my foes, and oh, my friends.....it gives a lovely light!"|

Since closing I have been practicing like a mad man, boarding up the Nordic Inn
and today I stowed away all the garden tools. There is a certain beauty in a dying garden. The last leaves of the season are trembling in the breeze like
hands frantically waving goodbye. There is snow on the mountain peaks and I
am suffering with a dreadful head cold. GOD I HATE SINUS INFECTIONS!
I'm sipping on a glass of hot wine and reading "RENASCENCE" before I fall into
dreams. Good night.

Last Day of Business at Nordic Inn

Preludes & Fugues

Today ends the 2006 season at the Nordic Inn. It has been a great year. Tonight will be the last working day for most employees, but I will be cleaning, sorting out bits and pieces until mid November.

Every year I think that I am becoming to damned old to do what I am doing and I can't keep working the hours that I stand on my feet, legs and work in the public. (actually, I keep pretty much away from the public. I am in my kitchen and I am not one to run out front to have a chat with customers.) Last year Michael was deathly ill during the summer and suffered pain until mid Oct. 2005 when he could finally have an operation! Last year I had a few glitches along the way with labor, but got through the season. This year was one of good health and the employees were 100 times better than last year!

I had two new pieces of art to help get me through each day. 'Walking Wounded' sits on my piano guarding the room. A print by Jim Taylor, "HELPLESS" I had framed and I love gazing into the center of this painting. Had two pieces by Carol Montparker framed. The Brahms collage is magic. Also read some great poetry, composed a couple of "ditties" and came up with a good recipe for Shrimp Rissoto...soooooooo I even paid my income taxes last week!

Now is the beginning of a new page in my life's journey. ONE EXTRA MONTH IN NEW ZEALAND should be heaven!
Will tell how closing went after tonight! Gotta get this messy body cleaned up and to work. Ah, it is suppossed to rain tonight! Love the weather.

The purposal, ring & blessing...

Preludes & Fugues

Yesterday will forever be a very special date for the rest of my life. A certain man introduced me to the USO years ago. 1968 to be exact. I traveled the world with him as his accompanist and we made three trips to Veit Nam. He was a fabulous violinist and fine conductor. When he died a few years ago his widow very graciously asked me what if anything of his personal possessions I might want. I immediately blurted out that I would want his carnelian ring with the two small diamonds. This ring has a marvelous history! Well yesterday I was playing piano for this woman and a dear friend of hers. She suddenly walked over to the piano and on bended knee said: ""Brent, will you marry me?" I was stunned! I said, "WHAT IN HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO ANSWER???? OF COURSE I WILL!" Well, with that she handed me a small jewel box. Inside was the ring! Tears sprung to my eyes! I have it on my finger and will die with it on my finger!

I believe that inanimate objects long to be used for what they were designed to be used for. Such as a spoon. If it is a beautiful spoon that simply sits in a drawer and is never used god knows it must suffer! It longs to be dipped into delicious soups and have lips kiss its smooth surface. It needs to be held and moved into creme brulle, ice cream and most of all tasted. Same with musical instruments that just sit unused! Houses simply rot without being lived in!

IF THIS RING COULD TALK IT WOULD HAVE AN ENDLESS TALE TO TELL! It's sub atomic level is full of music, and to think of the millions of hands it has been clasped to in a hand shake, hugs and the comfort it sensed as it rested on the hand of such a gifted man! Thank You Carleen and Thank you Eugene for being a part of my past and present life!

As I so often say: I AM A BLEST MAN!

Rain drops keep falling on my head

Preludes & Fugues

I don't remember quite this much rain last autumn. I walk in the rain, I walk to work in the rain, I walk home in the rain late at night and the rain drops just keep falling on my head, just like the guy who's feet are too big for his bed, nothing seems to fit...
(I like the rain! I can sleep like a baby when the rain pitter pats on the window pane, and I know and understand how sacred and precious water is!)

ONE PROBLEM WITH THIS RAIN: SKUNKS! Yes, skunks. Last night I suddenly awakened to the sound of machinery running and the cats were back and forth from the bath room to the kitchen, bed and running up and down the stairs. M.
came in from closing the bar at around 2 AM. When taking the garbage out to the dumpsters he was misted by a skunk. Cats LOVE the LOVE SCENT of SKUNKS
so our neutered female felines were having mystic estrogen over loads and kissing M's stinky boots! I could not get the smell out of my mucus laden nostrils! The washing machine was churning away in a frantic attempt to squelch the stench!
Believe me, this morning orange peelings have been placed around the dumpsters and M's shoes will be burned!
The rain simply has not diminished the scent of skunk.
My cats always have issues with OWLS and SKUNKS! In other words WISE OLD FARTS are what OWLS and SKUNKS are!
Still raining and looks like more rain behind these early morning clouds!

display holders for CD's

Preludes & Fugues

A couple of years ago I bent clothes hanger wire into loopy holders to display my CD recordings on each table in my restaurant. They always tip over and the CD's fall on the carpet. A patron suggested that I have my friends at the Blue Fox Gallery create me some really nice CD holders out of clay. FIne.

Yesterday I drove to Etna to see just what Tony had created. AMAZING! Each table has a gorgeous porcelain bowel that holds four CD's and a cassette tape. Here is the really unbelievable hidden secret within his gift: each piece when gently tapped released a beautiful bell sound! Little did Tony know he was creating musical instruments as well as visual art! I am over the moon with joy!
They are like musical hands that cradle my music and can release their own music when set into vibration! Serendipity in art! (God, people will want to buy the porcelain bells over my recordings! That's okay by me! Thank you Tony I love you man. I am forever amazed at what beautiful secrets are to be found inside what appears to be solid matter. The atoms that are dancing to some silent music within every bit of clay, wood, rock, water, fabric, it is endless.
Do come see my new display!

cleance for 5 months

Preludes & Fugues
Yesterday we received word that we are cleared for a 5 month visa to New Zealand!
The dream was to spend 6 month in New Zealand and 6 months state side. Well, the dream is coming true! So we are scheduled to fly to NZ on November 30, 2006 and return April 28th of 2007. Christmas and New Years down under! PLUS 5 months at a fabulous gym, time to hike, sleep, read and do absolutely only things I dream of like: staring at a rose blossom for hours, people watching, attending great concerts and movies and most of all creating new tunes. Writing and experiencing moments of self-discovery!
I am now changing planes for NYC and other events.
It will be a crazy time to get projects and deadlines behind me before November 30th, but I bet I can do it!
Off to work!

cleance for 5 months

Preludes & Fugues
Yesterday we received word that we are cleared for a 5 month visa to New Zealand!
The dream was to spend 6 month in New Zealand and 6 months state side. Well, the dream is coming true! So we are scheduled to fly to NZ on November 30, 2006 and return April 28th of 2007. Christmas and New Years down under! PLUS 5 months at a fabulous gym, time to hike, sleep, read and do absolutely only things I dream of like: staring at a rose blossom for hours, people watching, attending great concerts and movies and most of all creating new tunes. Writing and experiencing moments of self-discovery!
I am now changing planes for NYC and other events.
It will be a crazy time to get projects and deadlines behind me before November 30th, but I bet I can do it!
Off to work!

Changing plans

Preludes & Fugues

I had made up my mind: I AM NOT FLYING TO NYC THIS NOVEMBER. I AM NOT
FLYING LIQUID LOTION FREE! Well, I received a phone call from one of my dearest musical mentors and hearing her voice as well as her husbands filled me with joy! Suddenly I blurt out that yes! I will be in the city mid November and do count me in on the performance class! WHAT THE HELL?
So, change of mind out of the blue! I probably need a few days of selfish indulgence in the city that doesn't sleep!

I have been writing on this blog, but instead of publishing on the main page one must go to SEARCH THIS BLOG! Still learning!

Last night's performance was a total success! The council even earned money for the first time in ages! Sharing always brings me armfuls of abundance and fills my heart with peace! Wonder why?

It is 27 degrees! COLD BUT SUPPOSED TO BE GORGEOUS. Yes, that is what the weather channel says! DAAAAHHH!

Must get practicing for NYC and Boise.

Use of MUSIC in my JOURNEY

Preludes & Fugues
Why MEN may choose MUSIC as a tool in their journey of SELF-DISCOVERY:

Music has the power to sooth the savage beast! The NOTES of our SCALES are based on the actual resonances of the cosmos. This has been and can be scientifically demonstrated.

The elements, the planets and stars all vibrate at specific frequencies. The 8 houses and 64 hexagrams of the "I CHING" and the traditional 64 positions of "KUNG FU" are mirrored in the 8 notes of the OCTAVE! The rotation of the planets can be heard in the 12-tone scale!

MUSIC IS STRUCTURE. MUSIC GIVE FORM AND SUBSTANCE TO THE NAKED AIR, HELD TOGETHER WITH HARMONY AND RELEASED BY MELODY. MUSIC REACHES EVERYWHERE.

Every atom and cell of your body is vibrating. Your CONSCIOUSNESS can change that pulse. The timing of your birth, your physical development and even certain events in your life are timed and vibrate according the the musical score in your DNA. Every event in your life is SONG! Music is not magic, it is the cosmic heartbeat that holds the universe together.

You cannot go wrong using music in your journey inward. To not have a knowledge of music is like not knowing how to start your car, take a shower, read and write. Music can HEAL. It causes one to release tears, smiles or reflect on lofty thoughts.

Last week I was listening to Carly Simon sing O DANNY BOY and I started to weep which gave way into a major sobbing jag! I thought about my friend/lover DANNY from years ago that is dead and I believe I FINALLY ACCEPTED HIS DEATH and experienced a major BLESSED HEALING EVENT!

Have a day full of sound, beauty and vibrations of love! (OMG I am such a hippie at heart?)

NO TIME? WHY?

Preludes & Fugues

I seem to have hit a WRITER'S SLUMP, NOTHING COMES TO MIND AT TIMES TO WRITE ABOUT and it is not because I have been lazy or not creative. Simply not enough time in a day or in the night.
As of Monday I plan to update this site and get writing stuff that I wish to have RECORDED as I use this as a journal as well as a measuring stick regarding where and how my life is evolving.

IT SNOWED LAST NIGHT! Such a breath taking sight to witness one season totally mesh into another. Autumn and winter joined in poetry and music, colors and white on white. LOVE IT!

Tomorrow my quartet performs for the Star Valley Arts council's fund raiser event to be held at the Flying Saddle Lodge. Hope they dance, eat, and give money to a worthy cause...(for the second time this year I will leave my kitchen empty of my presence. I do have great help that will carry on probably very gladly without my mouth, and essence!) Speaking of my kitchen I have to get to work!
I'm otta here. (BUT PROMISE I WILL GET THIS BLOG UPDATED!) Remember my post about PROCRASTINATION? Well, maybe the damned thing helped to make me feel really guilty when I do not accomplish the things I set out to do! Ah, GOD A'MIGHTY THERE IS NO HOPE! I will toss out that worthless CD~

DOGMAS BE GONE!

Preludes & Fugues

Since the mid 70's I have fought for gay rights, women's rights, abortion rights, and at times the environment. I have argued with persons that I loved and I have lost friendships, lovers and many a quarrel ended up in a bloody nose. Some of the most traumatic arguments have been over religion!

I never dreamed the day would come when I would passively walk away without a tinge of anxiety regarding such people and their ideas, but I DO BELIEVE I HAVE ARRIVED AT THAT PLACE of peace that passeth all understanding.

These naive people that set themselves up as official JUDGES of what is right and wrong, and what is absolute REALITY and TRUTH. In doing so they simply slam shut the door that expands them into an ever expanding and beautiful universe of knowledge and eternal understanding. Once they slam that door shut they are doomed to live in the one universe of ideas and actions to which they have PLEDGED ALLEGIANCE. Their universe may seem and appear as an elegant life, but it is a PRISON. They must spend the rest of their days DEFENDING unchanging dogmas.

They simply forget that deceptive appearances abound in nature. The smooth surfaces of an ice-cube, a planed and sanded wooden board, or a block of iron or marble are all deceiving. At the MOLECULAR LEVEL, the perfections are punctuated by IMPERFECTIONS, order by disorder. Looking inside the molecule one finds a whirl of activity. GONE IS THE SMOOTHNESS, EASE and SIMPLICITY of the surfaces.

I see evolution occurring at rapid levels within my body, mind and philosophies.
I am so happy that I can say: the only constant is change!

As to many people I know that BELIEVE and DEFEND with every breath they take, their allegiance to certain DOGMAS I say: It makes more room for me and others to sail into the crazy world of undefinable mystery and unconditional love. It means I can become and be anything my sprit and soul want to be! I am not constrained within a prison of what is fact vs. lies. Even my idol Einstein had a difficult time grappling with QUANTUM MECHANICS and spent most of the latter years of his life trying to find major loop holes in the theory.

DOGMAS be GONE! Live free and move beyond the dogmas that we waste so much life on arguing and debating. Life is a gift, enjoy!

I find myself walking away from arguments and stupid debates regarding politics, religion and sexual preferences! Life moves on with or without us!

just stuff

Preludes & Fugues

Finally I am taking time to write some of the things that have occurred the past week. A week ago I drove to Utah for Dad's 80th. It was a total success and he loved his presents from me! I spent the night with my brother. That was pleasant and the drive home went well except for the lack of sleep and insane drivers all over the damn highway. Walked into the kitchen and everyone was dragging ass. Yep, they got hit with 89 breakfasts, and a big night the night before but it all went well. (Absence makes them love me and appreciate me!)

Fall time is in the air. I love it. Autumn is my favorite season. It means the end of a very intense work season. Having money to pay off debt and purchase things I want to invest in like: A NEW RECORDING OF MY ORIGINAL MUSIC!
Possibly the annual trip to NYC, but how will I travel without my gels and lotions and potions? My trip to Boise will be a wonderful break and I do love teaching.
Also it means, color and the abundant harvest of spring and summer projects that may or may not have been completed, but the attempt was made and most of all it means another year has become a precious part of my past and the past does mold us into the human being we are evolving into.

Have lots of new subjects to write about and places I have discovered on the web.
I Will have a great new week and the only thing I failed miserably at this summer was: WORKING OUT! I simply was toooooo f---ing tired to lift weights!
I will repent in October. Off to work I go...

OMG, 20 more years?

Preludes & Fugues

Wed. my father turned 80. We are very close. Everything that happens to him physically seems to happen genetically to either me or my brother. GENES! I spoke with him by telephone Wed. and he said, "See, you will probably no doubt live for at least another 20 years!"
My father will have out lived all of his siblings, and most of his family. My grandmother did live to be 84. So, I have 20 more years of good health and productivity as well as IF I DO NOT SUFFER A FATAL ACCIDENT, with the help of modern medicine, I may make it to 90, then I WILL DECIDE If I wish to live any longer!

Fires every where. Casper, WY is a disaster area. Idaho is burning up and Utah always has fires along with California and of course the desserts. BUT, so far we have been fortunate in this neck of the woods. NO FIRES!

I am driving to Utah this after noon to attend a dinner party in honor of my father's Birthday. This is the first time, (except for a funeral) that I have ever left my Restaurant on a weekend! I am a nervous wreck!
Will they remember to bake a turkey tonight? Shut the dish washer OFF? Leave out the chicken and steak for the next day? The list is endless...what ever happens, it does not matter because I only have one father, but I may have many restaurants in my life!
So, with I Pod charged, Cell Phone Charged, Meds and a quick change of clothes I will drive out of here around 1 PM and arrive in Ogden at 5 PM. Spend the night and drive back to WY very early for Sunday Brunch!

I feel Autumn in the air. My anxiety has dropped so something must be going right. I have had to FIGHT this indescribable feeling of depression and anxiety that washes over me completely 'out of the blue' and then leaves...It usually indicates that something of a very serious nature is in the process of becoming a reality! But, it seems to have finally stopped it's attack of chemical and emotional frenzy!
Will talk soon. Seize the day baby! (or what ever is close at hand!)

Up lifting graves.

Preludes & Fugues

Monday was an interesting day:
There is a very old cemetery here in Alpine. It is hidden in a forest of trees near a 4-H Camp ground. In 1969 by Partner's oldest and youngest brothers died in a plane crash in the near by mountains. They were buried in that cemetery. In 1988 Michael's father was buried in the same cemetery next to the boys. After many problems over the years with the cemetery Michael decided to uplift the graves, have the bodies cremated and build a beautiful memorial on the property the house we live in sits on.
Monday all three coffins were lifted. The lids had collapsed. The bodies were pretty much gone except for some clothing, jewelry and newspaper clippings that were placed in the coffins.
FIRST TIME IN over thirty years the boys had seen sunlight! It was not a scary, spooky ordeal, just a very emotional and traumatic experience in the fact that it brought back so many buried feelings...and the stark facts of how we deal with the dead and their remains!
I will say this: I do not wish to be buried in a totally black hole in the ground to rot and never be a part of the elements! What a barbaric, ancient ritual, of mummy-fying a human body with poison and then burying it 6 feet under ground to decay! Free the remains to the winds and sun and starlight!
Death will come to us all and I am sure when I am dead I will not care where and what in hell is done to my remains, but IF I LOVED SOMEONE I WOULD NOT BURY THEM IN BLACKNESS but set their remains free to soar with their spirit as it free from the body. Cremation is not a bad thing!
Now, at last all three of these loved ones are in a safe place and closure has taken place! Come see the memorial. Of course we will charge a small fee for the viewing of the STONES!

The past meet the present...

Preludes & Fugues

Last night was the last Concert/Dance event. Fantastic crowd, lots of dancing and the moon in the sky was something out of ET!

A dear friend that I have known since I was 21 was here for the music. She presented me with a cassette recording she made of a concert I performed August 18, 1976, the bicentennial year. I was 29 and would turn 30 in Nov. of that year. I was a Piano Performance Major at the U of U and never did complete the course as I did not like the INSTITUTIONALIZED SANCTITY AND FACULTY AND I PERORM DRASTICALLY ON TESTS AND EXAMS, therefore I chose a the path of a free spirited musician and made my own kind of music! (In truth I do not regret not earned a college degree. Most of my friends that have one do jobs that have nothing to do with their educational degrees from Universities!) The tape is OLD... The playing amazed me! Yes, there are glitches, but I have not played Schubert or Debussy like that in years! This same woman presented me with a box full of my correspondence, (letters to her) that she had saved since 1969 during my 7 years with USO! Talk about the past catching up with you! I am so happy that I have lived long enough to actually look back on all this a in truth enjoy the place I am at PRESENTLY because of the place I WAS AT YEARS AGO.

Now begins different challenges with the business. School stars in 18 days, that means day help is reduced to ME? Sunday brunch's will slow down and the weather will determine a lot of events. The canopy for my patio dining area finally has been made and delivered... NOW THAT THE MUSICALS ARE OVER! But better late than not! It will make dining on the patio much more pleasant during the rainy season. BTW, PATIENCE has never been one of my high marks.

I need a long, long, sleep, a deep massage and most of all to replenish my energy levels! So I drink coffee! God I do love COFFEE! So I'm going for Coffee.

The Beauty of Men...

Preludes & Fugues

In 1968 a woman in NYC told me that the most beautiful human beings were young men! She did not elaborate why boys and men were more beautiful than girls and women, but stated her point with such profound speech and completeness I totally believed her. I began observing young boys and men younger than me and mind you I was 21 years old. I observed older men and decided that the ideal age for a man would be between 38 and 45.

I think being a teen ager is difficult no matter if you are female or male, but, the older I get the more I agree with that woman's statement. I see young women that dress horribly with body fat hanging out and showing chunky bum cleavage as well as bad hair and skin. Mind you, there are the occasional young woman that are stunning, but for the most part YUCKY looking babes, covered in grease and make up from hell.

Most young men, seem to radiate a certain shyness and yet confidence, maybe because, they endure endless erections and are adored...?

I read a poem this morning that made me think of the beauty of young men by John Wieners. Here is is:
"TWO YEARS LATER"
The hollow eyes of shock remain electric sockets burnt out in the skull...

The beauty of men never disappears
but drives a blue car through the stars...

Look into the night sky and you just may see a beautiful man driving around the roads of the firmament hidden in the haze of blue sky! EYES TO THE SKIES!

I find beauty in many things, but it is wonderful to also see young men and know what they are thinking and to know I was once one of them and have matured to the man I am now! NO REGRETS, just joy!

Mel Gibson's DUI !!!

Preludes & Fugues

I just read Mel Gibson's lengthy statement about his DUI arrest! Poor bugger, my ass! and to think he produced the PASSION OF CHRIST, HATES GAYS, ABORTION RIGHTS and is a TOTAL CATHOLIC BIGOTED ASS!

It never fails, that those that speak out in harsh judgment of others are usually hiding from some ghost within their own closets of fear and anger! YES I WILL SPEAK OUT AGAINST SUCH PEOPLE AS MEL GIBSON because I have seen and KNOW the harm that his mouth can do. Remember the time a few years ago when he was being interviewed in France and barred his ass to the camera saying his sexy, gorgeous butt was what gays like about him and then proceeded to tear apart gays! (maybe he needs something big and hard put up that mess)

(wonder who or what he is afraid of regarding gays? could it be that one of his children, and there are many, is bent towards gay life? or does he hide under the skirts of the Catholic Priests to keep his fear of sexual perversion at bay? or is it that he is a total fuck up that suffers depression, alcohol addiction and is basically like every one else.

I know, forgive and forget. Okay, but keep your eye out for a 'slip along the way' of anyone that professes to be PERFECT! Just go to the Republican Party and start lifting a few skirts and talking in hushed circles... OH MY WHAT LIES and CRAP they do fear and believe in.
FEAR is a powerful chemical that we become addicted to and can do more harm than even a deadly bullet!

Jesus loves ya Mel, and besides your looks are going down the toilet! I remember years ago talking with a psychologist friend that said most alcoholics were repressed homosexuals! GOD FORBID but I took up the bottle damned fast in the hope of finding my true self! Instead I found an emty wallet, emty bed, emty life! However, there were times when the bottle did take me to places of love I never dreamed possible! besides the neck of a bottle can fit into places quite nicely if it is nudged along by fantasy, lubricant and most of lust! Thanks for the memories!

How far does one go with...

Preludes & Fugues

I used to put my nose up, down, inside and around other people's business and invariably get my tit in a ringer! Even other body and mind parts!

The past month I have observed a certain person 'change' into a very short tempered, filthy mouthed, harsh and aggressive person. I listen to this person's rants and raves about their home life and other personal problems. I find the problems rather stupid, but the circumstances they are living with at home are not a laughing matter. There have been moments during the past four weeks that I have contemplated the act of talking directly to the parties involved and yet, I really don't want to be a part of some family soap opera. So, I have kept my mouth shut and LISTENED...

The situation is beginning to rub off on other people that inter act with the distressed person...do I step in? and IF I DO and I bringing something into my own karmic and personal life that I DO NOT NEED or WANT?
How far does one go with trying to being understanding and HELP as it were a person you love and care about?

At the present moment I will allow fate, time, and space to cleanse the problem without my MOUTH being a catalyst for more fuel to the fires.

Am reading bits of Whitman again. God, I love this man's philosophy! (wonder why?) we do have lots in common.

Tomorrow is number five of the musicals.
ONE LEFT and then August will disappear into the ethers like a vapor of heat of which it will no doubt be a very big heat wave.

GOD IT IS HOT! that is probably why the TENSE EMOTIONS with some people. OR COULD THE TENSE EMOTIONS BE COMING FROM ME! AH! AM I THE SOURCE OF THIS ANGER AND FEAR THAT MY FRIEND IS EXPERIENCING????? (god, ya gotta love trying to figure this shit out)

PROCRASTINATION

Preludes & Fugues

Procrastination is a word that lives within the deepest cells of my brains...
(I believe that we have many brains that make up the whole mind/brain organ. The Pineal gland, hypothalamus, frontal lobe...digestive system, sub-consciousness, consciousness etc....)

I will not say PROCRASTINATION is something that drives me insane but I'd like to get things done WHEN they must be done instead of saying: "oh yes, I'll call that order in tomorrow, or TODAY SOMETIME I AM GOING TO WORK OUT, or possibly tonight I will practice for an hour, or I PROMISE, I am not going to eat bacon anymore!!!"
The list of excuses are endless. I do not even make such things as New Year's Resolutions or promises to God, the Universe or to my self. I simply KNOW that I should do certain things that make my life easy and guilt free, but I invariably will put "THE JOB OFF" until the last minute or sometimes beyond the last minute!

So, I purchased a self-help CD from my Shirley MacLane.com site that should erase some of this problem, but WILL I PROCRASTINATE in NOT LISTENING TO IT????????????????????? I will, I promise after today I WILL GIVE IT A LISTEN and TRY TO LISTEN TO IT EVERYDAY FOR THE recommended 30 days before I see change!

Stay in touch and possibly I will even become better at writing in my blog spot!

Today is "MORMON MANIA" 24th of July. The day that Brigham Young looked upon the Great Basin of the Great Salt Lake and made this prophetic statement:
"THIS IS THE PLACE!"
Little did he know, (or did he know ?), that the desert would blossom as a rose!
Well, because of this holiday we have UTARDS all over the place. They don't drink or do any kind of recreational drugs, so they eat a lot and drink tons of diet Pepsi and Mountain Dew. Also they sneak around with secret sexual encounters, weird fantasies, and hidden moments of hurried masturbation
because of the REPRESSED SEXUAL DESIRES! I LOVE IT. Makes for really hot sex.

Well, tonight is the fourth MUSIC UNDER THE STARS. Two performances left for the year. We are booked solid with over 103 dinners tonight! (as the British sing, GOD SAVE THE QUEEN, WELL MAY GOD SAVE THIS TIERED QUEEN!
I;m outta here!

...and the night was filled with music...

Preludes & Fugues

Last night's "Music Under the Stars" was magic. (for me at least.)
The weather could not have been more perfect! The damned misqitoes were off somewhere besides eating everyone alive, and the cool Alpine air was exhilarating. Lots of dancing and I played better than ever! The guys were "tight", in total sync! Ensemble work is like sexual intercourse, when you are in total ONENESS it can take you places you never dreamed possible and if one is not in sync....well....it strums along like very bad mutual masturbation!

Later in the wee hours of the morning I awoke 'round 2:30 AM to the most amazing moon! I simply could not resist the temptation for a "moon bath". I know some people take sun baths, but I take major MOON BATHS! Besides at my age the moonlight is a much safer light to be seen naked as it defuses some of the sagging parts, or high lights some of the more upright parts!

Today is HOTTER than HOT, but I don't care! I have air-con going, my folks are visiting with us and I am happy that another week has passed into space as every week brings me closer to the real reasons I LIVE FOR! Music, time to read, write and most of all observe life from a position I never dreamed I would one day attain.
I know the world is insane. IT IS. Bush, Blair, GOD ONLY KNOWS WHO ELSE and the MIDDLE EAST CRISIS? (well, when in hell was it not in crisis?) and the economy is hanging on my it's cuticles at moments, and yes, the price of gas is outrageous, but IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN A MESS unless you are passionately in love or falling out of love! Love seems to change a lot ugly things...

I am tired, but as the poem states, MY HEAD IS BLOODY BUT UNBOWED, well mine is sweaty buy still spinning because I proved I could pull yesterday off without a hitch! AHHHHHHHHHH, YES!

out of the woods...

Preludes & Fugues

Tomorrow marks the last day of this week of anticipation of WHAT in the HELL or WHO in the HELL might die or leave me this year during July. So far, so good!
NO ONE HAS HAD A DEISRE TO WALK OUT OF MY LIFE OR FROM THIS EXISTENCE on planet earth as we know it!

This weekend marks the third night of Music Under the Stars. Hopefully no rain and no misquotes and lots of happy people and most of all that I will perform well. Our Sax Man cannot play Sunday, so that means I will carry the main parts on the keyboard, which I usually thrill and enjoy, but at nearly 60, I find my memory turns to mush during some very standard pieces like: Georgia, or Stardust can end up very interesting and most creative! It is all good! CREATIVITY IS SUCH A BLESSING. I am not the most talented man, but I do surround myself with talent so as to appear to have lots of great abilities!
Off to work I goooooo, hoooooo, hoooooo.

July 9-15 always...

Preludes & Fugues

Today is my brother's Birthday. We are 18 months apart. We were raised as if we were twins and were very best friends growing up. We still are friends but follow different drummers and walk different paths that separate us.

July 9, 1961 my best friend committed suicide. This act of violence and the need to escape the pain inflicted on him by a Mormon Bishop, society and the limited thinking of the 60's has never escaped my mind. One day I will write about this event and the horrible aftermath of pain and suffering it caused within a small community and church.

July 9th 1980 a very special lady died. She had a powerful impact upon my life and still does. Her passing was the beginning of a gigantic paradigm shift in my heart, mind and body. It was the end of one lifetime and the beginning of a new one. I discovered the book OUT ON A LIMB and after reading it two times I would never be the same person I had been or thought I was going to become!

I believe we are constantly REINCARNATING. Belief systems and dogmas that we are induced with from birth die with time and are replaced with other philosophies as well as our bodies evolve with time. BUT, numbers and dates seem to always have deep meaning in my life!

This will be an interesting week. I will post events on my blog/journal/safe place, so that I can compare last years events! July 9 through 15 is like a major metamorphosis in my life!

Tonight is the second Music Under the Stars performance. This week has gone so quickly it is as if it had not existed! But, then what is time? Simply an invention to measure events and happenings. Ya gotta love Einstein's famous equation: E=M. I'm outta here!

4th of July

Preludes & Fugues

This was the biggest 4th of July I have had in the business since 1990. The road
to Jackson Hole is open, and it seems most people are staying close to home, but as always in a time when people are being "watchful" where money is concerned, people will come up with money for a meal, bottle of wine and to hear music. Sunday night we served 103 dinners, had approximately 300-350
people attend the concert/dance and lots of camping, boating and nature lovers roaming about.

My land lady in the 70's who died in 1980 told me great stories about her life during the years of the great depression. She could play piano by ear. AMAZINGLY well!!! Also had a photographic memory. Thus, it meant she could sit at a piano in a restaurant or bar in San Francisco and make more in tips than her daddy made working for the rail road! She always said, "NO matter how broke or down one was feeling if there was a catchy tune being played or the scent of meat and onions cooking people would pull coins together and have enough money to make a great party out of nothing."

The world is in a terrible situation but it always is! It depends on one's PERSONAL
and PRIVATE
OVER ALL VIEW OF THE SITUATIONS and where you are in reality to the rest of
the bull shit.

What is that old cliche? CARPE DIEM???? (god, help me with the spelling!)
Well, any way seize the day. (or better yet something or someone you love and
be damned grateful you have them in your life!)

Music Under The Stars...

Preludes & Fugues

Now, I can and do forgive all the pesky BS and annoying moments that occurred in the month of June regarding the business. WHY? because, it is all worth it!
Tonight is the first of 6 Sunday evenings where I get out of the kitchen and MAKE MUSIC UNDER THE STARS with my musical brothers. I will sit at my keyboard and move to the music as I watch people smile, dance, sing-along with the melodies and most of all "HARMONIZE" my self and the space I work and live in.
(this is where my Liberace-Judy Garland moments blossom in full glory!!!)

I know many friends will be around in spirit (my dead pals) and lots of good food and misquotes,
as well as wine, laughter and hugging, probably even a secret assignation will be arranged between two people who will meet later by the lake and make mad love to the moon light!

Happy days and nights are here again. (sounds like the words to a very old song
called Happy Days are Here Again...my grandmother used to sing it!) GOD I LOVE SUMMER!

Last day of June

Preludes & Fugues

Here is a brief outline of the events that occurred in my life yesterday:

7:00 AM awake. Make coffee, take meds, stretch, meditate and thank god I have
an hour to do nothing before I venture down to the business.
8:00 AM. Walk to the business. Talk to the marmots, cats, deer, trees, serene
sky and hope everything is "flowing" as it should when I enter the door.
9:00 AM Still NO DELIVERIES FROM SYSCO or US FOOD SERVICE!
9:20 AM eat breakfast and make calls to distributors, check schedules and have
serious talk with employee regarding the use of the F word, touching butts
and smiling when people sit down with the menu she hands them!
10:00 AM off to the grocery. NO DROP OFF FROM SYSCO!
10:30 AM get the music and instruments set up for a rehearsal for Sunday night
with guys in band.
11:00 Rehearsal goes well. Listen to local gossip, thank god I do not have kids
and make wonderful music.
1:30 PM Back at restaurant getting prepped for this evening.
Michael is in a rather WILD STATE OF MIND. He has fired the rather stupid
woman that works two days in the office and laundry cause the other
women hate her! God, they never stop talking her down. So now, do I or
Michael open office two days a week and then do laundry? Like I can do
this and still cook and run a restaurant? Michael can't do it all he will die.
I ponder the problem and come up with solution.
2:30 PM close lunch and clean up for night. I head home and lay down for an
hour. Up at 4 and back at the restaurant.
Missed the Tanner's from Ogden. They left me 4 reissued CD's that I was
The musical director on in the 70's for an amazing young man.
5:00 PM All is going well, except by 6:30 I have only one waitress! Shannon
forgets to come to work. Calling like crazy every waitress I have. People
are falling off the deck and inside the dinning room! I put a 15 year old
my buss girl out on the patio. She has NEVER waited on night people.
7:00 PM we are out of salad. NOT A DAMNED LEAF of LETTUCE in the house.
Call Jean she flys to market and brings back iceberg shit lettuce.
8:00 PM Kristen comes in to save the day. Mighty woman.
9:30 PM I am insane. My kitchen staff are great, but the stress is endless as the
mood exchanges are flying bazzurk as all hell between these women and
their emotions. I thank God I am a man.
11:00 Everything is cleaned up and ready for morning. Now the accounting.
The money is fine, but the tickets are not matching the ledgers for rooms
the frigin bar orders are off! I figure it out by midnight.
12:00 midnight I am home and chilling.
1:00 AM I am asleep? No, the phone starts ringing and no one has the extension
phone on their body down below, so I get up and walk to the business
tell the barman to answer the GD phone!
JULY 1st. THANK HOLY HELL. A NEW MONTH.
8:00 AM just had a call, the morning waitress is delayed and they need me?
NO, I need that anxiety drug, xanax, or what ever in hell those little bluish
ill tasting things are, but they knock me on my ass so hard, I would never
get anything accomplished. OFF TO WORK I GO with a song in my heart
and a blessing on my head.
ONE BEAUTIFUL THOUGHT IS THAT ALL THIS SHALL PASS MID OCTOBER AND TODAY MARKS THE BEGINNING OF A NEW MONTH. I ALWAYS TELL MYSELF THAT
IF I GET THROUGH JULY I CAN SURVIVE THE REST OF THE YEAR AS EVERYONE I LOVE IS BORN OR DIES IN JULY! DAMNED CANCERS! TO THINK THIS SCORPIO ADORERS THESE SENSITIVE, GIVING LOVING BEINGS THAT ARE BORN UNDER THE SIGN OF
CANCER. I DO LOVE THEM EVERYONE OF YOU.

Gravity and it's pull on my flesh

Preludes & Fugues

Every time I REALLY examine, gaze in depth, FOCUS and LOOK at my reflection
in a mirror, I AM STUNNED AT THE SAGGING, doughy, lumpy, mashed potato
muscles and flesh I see starring back at me. I know testosterone (the good kind) and collegian is disappearing at a alarming rate!

My grandmother told me that why we wrinkle is because of the years that GRAVITY pulls on our bodies and it gradually BRINGS US DOWN into a heap of wrinkled flesh and twisted bone!

God knows I have taken every supplement, done every exercise and chanted every affirmation possible to avoid this wreckage, however, the inside of my upper arms are indescribable! Alas! I choose to burn my muscle sleeve shirts,
and opt for LONG SLEEVES and FLOWING type shirts. I now know why women wear "dusters" and "moomoos" in later life as well as sandals and low pumps.

I have to call Depack Choppra and ask why his book: AGELESS BODY TIMELESS MIND has not worked for me! (probably because I did not buy his Indian herbs and potions!)

I am now searching for ANTI-GRAVITY! (that probably translates into a dimension called DEATH?) until then I will struggle with GRAVITY and hope it holds my brain cells IN PLACE if nothing else, I could try the Dorian Gray trick, but I don't have the time to stare at pictures of myself when I was 21! Hell, I'd rather look at porno!

summer maddness...

Preludes & Fugues

I finally am taking a few moments to express how amazing this summer season has gone so far. Years ago, (before the biggest highway renovation in America began taking place up the Snake River Canyon) I opened my little restaurant early in the morning and hardly ever closed until after midnight. (I was also in my late 30's) BUT...people were falling out the door. We simply could not handle all the traffic in a day and night! THEN THE CONSTRUCTION CLOSED THE MAIN PASSAGE INTO JACKSON HOLE plus mud slides, and constant delays involving traffic and gargantuan road equipment, needless to say, the business suffered.
THIS YEAR THE ROAD IS OPEN and the BUSINESS IS FLOWING LIKE MILK AND HONEY! I AM WORKING HARDER THAN EVER AND VERY HAPPY!

NEXT SUNDAY WE BEGIN THE ANNUAL "MUSIC UNDER THE STARS" musical nights and they run through July and the first week in Aug. weather permitting.
This is a blessed event for me as I get out of the kitchen and can make music with three great musicians in their own right as well as watch people eat, drink and dance under the moon light! (but, still go to bed after midnight.)

Speaking of Moonlight. My friends that are into UFO's are telling me about all kinds of exciting and amazing things that are happening from the bottom of the planet to the crown of the North Pole regarding some help from OUR FRIENDS THAT ARE NOT LIVING ON THIS PARTICULAR SPACE SHIP CALLED EARTH! Hopefully they can alter a few things regarding nuclear missile power and global warming brought on my an insane govt. in DC.

My sister called from New Orleans yesterday! She spent the day with one of my favorite news men, ANDERSON COOPER!

Also, have come up with some new stretching exerices that seem to help with my aches and pains...

Gotta get my ares to work. Have tons more to write but no time! REMEMBER:
EYES TO THE SKIES!
"

knottyboy rules!

Preludes & Fugues

I could not have listed the reasons for and reason not for believing in one word or deed that comes out of Washington DC, the Capitol and White House as
KNOTTYBOY.blogspot.com has on his blog this morning. GO READ IT.
Thanks KNOTTY for being so NAUGHTY!

Finally rain. Those who dares to say there is no such thing as GLOBAL WARMING have honestly cooked at a very high temperature their brains beyond the ability to sense cold, hot, wet and dry! The weather has felt like mid August. Iris are in magnificent bloom and the lupin are regal as ever! If anyone drives by the business do stop to see the lilacs, iris and lupin. (the cook and staff are also not so bad, kinda limp in the blossoming dept. but willing to smile at you.)

Have had some strange energy around me. INVISIBLE STUFF! But messages about things that only pertain to my self. But sometimes it can get creepy being sensitive to the ethers!

Will have been open for two weeks as of tomorrow and what a great two weeks.
As the British say: Right as RAIN! and Good as GOLD!

My thoughts exactly!

Preludes & Fugues

Anyone that may come upon my blogspot, my blog today is: GO TO:
knottyboy.blogspot.com and read his post for today! IT SAYS EVERYTHING EVERY AMERICAN SHOULD BE AWARE OF AND UNDERSTAND!. Thanks Knotty
for being so NAUGHTY!

Give it up to the universe...

I love being nearly 60! Not because of the sagging skin, fuzzy eye sight and moments of body pain, I love it because of the "emotional and spiritual POWERS" one can seem to experience without warning! Be it years of programing or just a normal part of aging, but I did something a few days ago I have attempted to achieve on and off over the past 60 years: WHEN ONE HAS A PROBLEM SIMPLY TURN IT OVER TO THE UNIVERSE. In other words do nothing, but tell the universe that you trust in what the outcome will be and move on.

A few days ago I experienced a very traumatic situation with a dear friend. After tears, screaming and all that shit she walked out crying. Well, I simply went into the forest and gave all my inner emotions to the universe saying: "I trust, that this problem will be resolved and nothing of a negative nature will result from these words and feelings of distress."

Worked! Or did I just drop into some abyss of denial, or do some things really work out for the best when WE GET OUR EGOS OUT OF THE WAY?
Regardless, I am so pleased that I kept my mouth shut, tried to reach out and give some comfort, but that most of all I did not EMPOWER anyone or Idea by not reacting to the situation and simply allowing it to play itself out according to the script that was written in life's book of karmic events.

I only wish I could react this way when my computer goes into ADA syndrome or I play every wrong note imaginable during a rendition of a Beethoven Sonata!

ILLUSIONS. Kenue Reeves said everything in our life and the universe is a WAVE.
Well, It's a wave when your not looking at it and it is a particle when you observe the wave! WAVES, PARTICLES, WHAT EVER, The universe came through for me!

Bush & Blair Speaking out!

Preludes & Fugues

I promised myself that I would not use this blog as an arena for ranting and screaming over political mayhem. HOWEVER after I read the news regarding how Bush and Blair have come forth admitting their arrogance and mistakes...OMG!
Where in the hell were these idiots when Hauns Blix made it clear that Iraq did not have WMD and the means to defend their country from such an invasion? God help the many Iraq children with no limbs, eye sight and parents, let alone food and shelter! Young American's dead for what? 2,400 something, dead! WHY IN HELL WE DID NOT ATTACT SAUDI ARABIA or AFGHANISTAN? It is still puzzling? oil or simply a Bush family revenge?
At least Karmic justice is evolving in the White House.
Have a great day. I am having a beautiful day regardless of snow and cold!
Opening of the Nordic Inn and Brenthoven's Restaurant was phenomenal.
Wish everyone I know could have been here! You are in spirit!

Rod McKuen

Preludes & Fugues
I was introduced to the poetry of Rod McKuen in 1968. I purchased the book "Stanyan Street & Other Sorrows" but from 1968 to 1985 the book was misplaced or lost in moving from one love affair to the next. Two years ago I found a first edition in a dusty used book shop in Dunedin New Zealand. It was like discovering a dear friend that you have totally lost track of over years and years of traveling through life's adventures. I try to read a poem every night before I retire for dream land and last night I read the entire Stanyan Street & Other Sorrows.
"SOME THOUGHTS FOR BENSON GREEN ON HIS TWENTY-SEVENTH BIRTHDAY" is one of my favorites of McKuen.

"I know
that love is worth the time it takes to find.
Think of that when all the world seems made of walk-up rooms
and hands in empty pockets.
I know your smile
and it is much too warm to waste on people in the street
(though smiles are plentiful)
and
I know
that if you keep the empty heart alive a little longer
love will come.
It always does,
maybe just at the last moment, but it will come
YOU MUST BELIEVE THAT
or else there isn't any reason to be twenty seven."

I remember being 27 and I remember desperately hoping to find love...
At 37 I did find love and that love has endured for 21 years.
Thank you Rod for giving me a belief in love when I was 27!
(BTW, I still fall in love with a face, body, sound or scent at least once every few days. God, it makes life so enchanting!)

Preludes & Fugues

Preludes & Fugues
Today had to be in the high 70's or 80's. Springtime in the Rockies can be interesting as far as weather, but today was HOT. Snow is still half way down the mountains and the tulips, daffodils and other spring things that blossom from bulbs are bobbing their heads against the alpine breezes.

I spent the day moving furniture out of rooms so that old carpet could be lifted and new carpet laid down. The furniture in the rooms is very heavy. Also had the office re-carpeted and the furniture in that area weighs a ton! Between moving huge beds, chest of drawers and lamps, mattress and box springs, I groomed the gardens. I think that every human being should spend time working the earth with their bare hands. Tonight my hands do not even remotely resemble that of a pianist. The nails have black soil embedded in the cuticles, and the blisters are massive, but the link between our bodies and the chemicals within the earth is such a sacred marriage. Needless to say, I am exhausted, but happy.

Also, something that resonated of a spiritual lesson today was the fact we have not been able to get our DSL working properly in the office. After many over the phone troubleshooting exercises, I demanded that a representative drive down and check out the situation. WE HAD THE PHONE JACK IN THE WRONG OUTLET!!!! Most embarrassing yet, such a simple mistake! There is a hidden lesson somewhere in this event! I spent half of my life putting the wrong things into the wrong outlets!!!!!!!!

My mother turns 80 years old on Friday so I drive to Utah for the festivities and will see members of my family I have never met! New arrives, husbands, and wives of nieces and nephews. Sometimes I think I live on an entire different planet than most of my family. Possibly I am something of an alien. Had dinner with two of my best friends Sunday, I hope I am from the same universe they originate from 'cause they are family! I could play all through eternity with them because they are artists as well as brothers! Friends help maintain my sanity.

Joys of ART!

Preludes & Fugues
Music has been recognized as the most abstract of the arts. Films, painting, sculpture, theater, dance all ignite images of real-life situations, music creates a metaphor in the mind and heart of the listener. This metaphor can cause buried memories of love, hate, anger, fear, and hurt that ONLY THE VIBRATIONS OF MUSIC CAN EXPESS.

I have always had a deep appreciation for poetry and music as well as the visual arts. Tonight as I write I have two gorgeous pieces of art that are music to my eyes and body. My sister T. is a great artist. At Christmas she gave me a beautiful "study" she had drawn of DaVinci's "ANGEL" The eyes in this drawing are haunting. I hung it beside my piano so as to see it as I practice. I believe we all have guardian angels that guard and inspire us. And many of us are Angels in waiting.

Walking Wounded has the most honored place in my room, he sits on my grand piano. He vibrates so much love and patience. Heart break and unexplainable sadness and yes, JOY! I touch him every morning and night. His eyes reach across the room as I write this! The man that created this has channeled something in clay that is made out of the essence of music!

To be blest by the talents of friends is amazing. I often say that I talk to the dead, well I also talk to art!

Home in Wyoming...

Preludes & Fugues

Arrived in LAX with all the usual immigration BS and the SECURITY checks, and of course I was pulled aside, or as the security guard said, "Mr. Johnston, you have been SELECTED by TSA yada yada yada..." I told him, I've been through this 8 times within the past two years! It all went well, but delays getting into SLC. Dad was there to pick me up at baggage. Great to see the family.

Drove from Ogden to Alpine May 2nd. The seasonal change from winter to spring is a wonderful source of new energy in both mind and body. Everything was perfect at the house in Alpine and the Nordic Inn.

It amazes me how man can adjust to his surroundings so easily. Each year I become sad as I say goodbye to friends, my pianos, and surroundings in WY. Once I am settled into Queenstown
I become familiar with my studio, piano and surroundings and then when leaving Queenstown I feel saddened because of leaving the life style I become accustomed to. CHANGE IS GOOD! At least I clean out lots of crap from closets, bookcases, and my mind! (as well as my bank account.)

Will try to get DSL within the week. Using a land line is SLOW!
It is fantastic to be nestled within these protective mountains. Summer is coming and with it long days and nights. The beat goes on...

My last blog from New Zealand

Preludes & Fugues
Tomorrow I will pull the shades over the windows of the house. After shutting the door I will secure the lock. Electricity, water and movement will cease and only the invisible memory of the past four months will haunt the rooms.

Flight to Auckland in the afternoon. Spend the night in Auckland and then fly out to LAX on the 28th. I've had four months full of adventure, contemplation, rest, creativity and most of all peace.

It is cold, snowing in the mountains and very dense cloud cover. Winter is storming around making his presence known. Spring and summer await me along with work and friends. Mother's Day will always mean a celebration of joy and happiness for me as It was the day I discovered Alpine WY 21 years ago!

I will not post a blog until after May 2nd. HOWEVER, I will continue to use this as my journal and sacred space! As Alfie said: "AH! I AM A BLEST MAN!" I am most of all GRATEFUL for all that I am and have.

Farewell New Zealand until December and to friends in Queenstown, you know I love you.

Intimations of Immortality

Preludes & Fugues

Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting;
The Soul that rises with us, our life's Star,
Hath had elsewhere it's setting,
And cometh from afar:
Not in entire forgetfulness, And not in utter nakedness,
But trailing clouds of glory do we come
From God, Who is our home:
______________________________________________

Thanks to the human heart by which we live,
Thanks to it's tenderness, it's joys, and fear,
To me the meanest flower that blows can give
Thoughts that do often lie too deep for tears.

Wm Wordsworth 1770 - 1850

I have always found comfort and joy in these lines...I wonder IF Beethoven
ever read much of Wordsworth? They were born the same year, 1770 but Beethoven died in 1827. Billy Boy lived to be 80 years old! Ancient for the times! Ludwig only made it to 57. Not old by today's life span. God, I can only imagine what living to 80 would be like. I never dreamed I'd live to see 40!
IMMORTALITY!

Einstein & Russell

Preludes & Fugues

Young people today lack ROLE MODLES, HEROS. People you can trust and depend upon. Parents make dreadful mistakes and always will, so as young people we choose 'role models'. Statesmen, athletic super stars, movie stars, the list is endless and always disappointing. Presidents of countries and corporations lie, and kill in the name of power and money. Golf to football stars make ridiculous amounts of money and then are arrested for drugs, sex scandals and the list is endless.

I had some great musicians to idolize and one man I will always revere. ALBERT EINSTEIN. Found this PROPHECY made in the last year of Einstein's life, July 9, 1955, he and Bertrand Russell issued the following manifesto:

"In the tragic situation which confronts humanity, we feel that scientists should assemble to appraise the perils that have arisen as a result of the development of WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION... We appeal as human beings to human beings: remember your humanity... If you can do so, the way lies open to a new paradise; if you cannot, there lies before you the risk of universal death."

Huh mmmmm! NO ONE LISTENED! Sad. I have come to the conclusion that the only way to stop the insanity is: NOT MARCHING and DIEING IN THE STREETS. The 'key' is to become a giant CEO in one of the biggest corporations.
Politicians are nothing but 'talking puppet heads' for BIG MEGA POWERFUL BUSINESS from corn flakes to nuclear WMD. Young heros will be the men and women that change the corporate world power that controls media, medicine, schools, prisons, immigration and yes organized religion.

The old paradigms of thinking continue to rule. DIVISIONS, RIGHT vs. WRONG.
Them against us. Nation vs. nation, race against race, religion against religion. Rich against the poor, communism against democracy, terrorist against non-terrorist. CAPITALISM seems to REQUIRE A CONSTANT ENEMY. I mean, we live in a world of THREATS of DESTRUCTION from the gods of the Bible, Koran, Book of Mormon, a never ending thought pattern of fear and destruction that lead to our demise. I suppose that the fear of death is the rock bottom factor!

What's that old line? THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE. It depends on your meaning of FREEDOM. Everyone's idea of freedom is so different. I like Lennon's words to a beautiful song, "IMAGINE". I listen to it sung by Liza to Sinatra. It says it all. Maybe almighty GOD, Allah, Jesus Christ, and SATAN could settle their differences out of court? and leave us out of their fight!

Einstein & Russell

Fifty years later corporate America and it's politicians are using and making WMD like never before dreamed by Einstein. I'd ask for intervention from another planet, or universe because the god of this world disappeared thousands of years ago and it aint coming back kids!

Gays, Blacks, Hispanics, women, children did not create such WEAPONS. Even Eisenhower said the country could not operate as a war machine.

I don't know IF humans in mass demonstrations can stop the madness???
Life goes on and on with E=mc2. Our mass may become Energy very soon!

life's golden coil...

Preludes & Fugues

Yesterday I was in the city of Dunedin. An absolutely "perfectly PERFECT" day. Autumn light, leaves gently falling onto green grass.
M. had two appointments with the orthodontist so I had three hours to myself.

I walked to the gardens at First Church and sat on a comfortable wooden bench. I felt centered and completely relaxed. Good time for recharging one's mind, heart and soul.

Sound is meditative and healing to me so I closed my eyes, put my head back and began concentrating on all the various caca-fonic sounds surrounding me. Coins falling on the sidewalk. Car engines, footsteps on gravel, birds, voices, the list is endless. Without warning I begin to feel myself spin out of my body. It was frightening and yet so exciting. My conscious mind kept saying: "You are having a stroke, dying or a "flash back" of a 'shroom' trip in the 60's."

I felt amazingly happy and light. Suddenly I heard my back pack fall on the grass. My ego said, "Don't let go! NO ONE YOU KNOW, KNOWS WHERE YOU ARE!" I then thought: " It really doesn't matter. Your passport, two credit cards, journal and I pod are inside the pack along with some cash." Then it happened: I heard a voice... I was not in full consciousness, but opened my eyes and standing in front of me was a young man probably 17 maybe 18 years old. "Sir, may I have $1.50?"
" I don't have change for the bus to Anderson Beach."
I could actually sense myself squeezing into my body!
I handed him the exact change. He thanked me and walked off...a gentle memory bite of a previous sound kicked in: the tinkle of odd coins falling on the sidewalk and footsteps on gravel. Previously, I had heard odd change falling on the sidewalk and footsteps. This stranger was connected to both sounds!

Just maybe the super string theory in physics is a fact...life's "golden coil" we are all wired into is real. I walked back to the hotel aware of every thing surrounding me as well below and above. Every blade of grass, store window and sensation was in a different light.

Interesting, when M. arrived back from the orthodontist, he informed me that he was getting 'state of the art' hearing aids the next day!...Serendipity? He has suffered hearing loss in his right ear for years. I felt a thrumming vibration move through my entire body. I smiled and said, "Today has been a day of all kinds of beautiful sounds."

I talk to the dead

Preludes & Fugues

Many years ago I enrolled in a class at College: THE PLAYS OF SHAKESPEARE. I loved the class. One day the professor, who was way up there in earth years, was late! Even with NO PROFESSOR not one student left the hall.
In a sudden flurry he dashed into the room and up to the podium.
He explained that he had been walking past the cemetery and began strolling amid the head stones, where most of his friends were living. So, he began visiting with different people WHO WERE DEAD and he and lost track of time.
I have never forgotten the story.

All of my life I have "talked" to people I have loved and known who have crossed over...I am not talking about cross-dressing. I MEAN DIED.
Sometimes I feel they are close, very close indeed. I was reading bits and pieces of poetry and such before I started my morning meditation and came upon something from the Prophet that brought much joy to my heart.

"IT WAS BUT YESTERDAY WE MET IN A DREAM. YOU HAVE SUNG TO ME IN MY ALONENESS, AND I OF YOUR LONGINGS HAVE BUILT A TOWER IN THE SKY.
IF IN THE TWILIGHT OF MEMORY WE SHOULD MEET ONCE MORE, WE SHALL SPEAK AGAIN TOGETHER AND YOU SHALL SING TO ME A DEEPER SONG. AND IF OUR HANDS SHOULD MEET IN ANOTHER DREAM, WE SHALL BUILD ANOTHER TOWER IN THE SKY...."

Today is a day of much celebration for me. A friend that has been ill will be made whole again! SO BE IT!