IN GOD WE TRUST?

I usually never post anything political or controversial on my blog however, due to the recent shooting in the USA of innocent children and people that were kind and caring human beings murdered in the name of what?  Insanity?  Freedom to bare arms?  Mental Illness? Because we have a culture hooked on sensationalism of blowing up buildings, killing humans with machine guns, releasing anger and hate by murdering the "images" of things that remind them of their past when they were abused, injured, unjustly accused of sins...  I need to write.

I grew up in a house with guns.  NOT GUNS THAT THE MILITARY WOULD USE IN WARS!

My father hunted deer every autumn.  The rifles were secured in a wooden box he had made with pad locks, just in case we kids got into places we had no business poking around in?

When I was 12-14 I saved money and purchased a Remington 22 rifle.  I took very precious care of that rifle.  I shot birds, I was a killer!!!!!!!!  I NEVER IN MY WILDEST FANTASIES EVER IMAGINED TURNING THAT 22 ONTO A HUMAN BEING?  Was something wrong with me?

I went Deer Hunting once.  I lay ed the bead of a gun on the head of a deer.  I fell to pieces.  I could not shoot living and breathing creature with gorgeous eyes and such a Lethe body such as a deer!  I was forgiven and told not to worry.
I happen to love Venison.  Elk and Venison are two of my favorite meats!  I simply cannot kill animals.

I has forever amazed and the fact stunned me spiritually and mentally that a country like America can use such a mantra as: IN GOD WE TRUST,  yet use weapons of mass destruction?  WHY?  WHERE IS GOD... and do not tell me he needs guns to keep his image perfectly in tact?  When CHRIST WAS BORN PEOPLE WERE NOT KILLING EACH OTHER WITH GUNS~  go figure!

I was bullied in grade school as a child.  The image or thought of killing one of the four bullies that beat up on me with a gun,  DAMIT IT NEVER EVER ENTERED MY MIND.  I was raised to believe in arbitration.  One talked things out... they made peace agreements...

In my many years of traveling, my own regrets and pain, my own joys and discoveries of love I have learned:  SAFETY IS ACHIEVED IN SIDE THE MENTAL AND SPIRITUAL DNA OF OUR MINDS AND SOULS.  NOT ANYWHERE ELSE.  NO CHURCH, NO GOVT.  NO, NO, NO!
Minds can and are CONTROLLED BY MEDIA and GUILT and FEAR.  FEAR IS THE GREATEST POWER ON THIS PLANET.  IT WORKS!  LOOK AROUND.  TAKE A REALLY GOOD LOOK!!!  (in god we trust???)

DEATH WILL AND DOES EQUALIZE US.

Why are America's so damn afraid of death?  Why can they not put all of their faith in their GOD and live in peace and harmony?  I know, many do, but they forget that even CHINA has made great changes... USSR is not the same country as when I was a little boy...  Viet Nam?  I went there 3 times. I can only imagine what many men witnessed during the 2nd WW.  Remember when Bush had the vision to blow up Iraq?  They had not attacked us?  Iraq is the cradle of civilization?  Why in hell did he not blow the hell out of Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia? blow them off the earth?  They ATTRACT US.  We have 8,000 missiles that can blow us into dust... into the next universe of?  WE NEED THEM.

If Americans honestly believe in the Bible... NOT THE OLD TESTAMENT:  Jesus said:  I give you a new commandment:  LOVE ONE ANOTHER as I HAVE LOVED YOU.  That had nothing to do with REPUBLICAN or DEMOCRATIC MORALS.    IT IS PLAIN AS DAY,  LOVE ONE ANOTHER.  That translates:  you love and forgive everything in your life.  IF NOT YOU WILL SUFFER.  That means you must forgive yourself and love homosexuals, mentally ill people, humans that have strange and different belief systems... polygamists, politician's, popes, prophets, circus acts, and musicians...

America is a "WAR MACHINE"...  we manufacture bombs, guns, weapons... we cannot use them so let's sell them to 3rd world countries...  we already sell enough to Americans.

I have friends with over 50 guns in their homes...  IN GOD WE TRUST?  If God cannot protect you from a bullet or death?  One must spend some time with nature and a trained counselor...  hate and anger has become a part of America that I do not like.  Get rid of Hennity, Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh, Glen Beck... you will once again give me a Republican Party I used to believe in.

Queenstown Dec. 22, 2012 The end of the world...

Ah!  We made it.  All the doom sayers have to know that most of the humans and animals on earth including plant life made it, we are fine.  The Mayan Calendar has some flaws appearently, but It did not stop many people from the RAPTURE of building underground bunkers and buying food, water and guns in order to survive.  At my age I trust in GOD a bit more than the calendars!  Death is not horrible.  It is peace and love away from the angst and pain of life on earth.

Spring Cherry Blossoms on a flag hanging inside my studio door window.  Nice image of love, light and peace...

NOLA November 2012

Sunday Brunch with baby sister, TJ, and Stephanie and Jim.  Great food as always in New Orleans.

Rehearsal at Yamaha.  This piano was divine.  It simply breathed.  It loved me!

Gorgeous summer day

Ah!  Finally SUMMER!

I am such a slob.  I did not take any photos, however, my chicken salad on croissants with all kinds of sides was a BIG SUCCESS!    I put dill in my chicken salad.  It gives it a certain TANG and BANG!

I invented a new recipe for PEANUT BUTTER COOKIES.  They honestly turned out divine.  I have not baked cookies in years.  I will recreate my old COWBOY Cookies from the 60's.  They needed lots more butter and nutmeg.  I will get it all figured out.   Must be old age and the holidays... the cookies?

Loving my life within the Autumn of my life means:  I love very SMALL PARTIES.  Meaning:  No more than 4 extra people.  Why?  Because I can listen, that means hear what the people are discussing...  I can SEE the expressions on their faces, I can FEEL the ENERGY they are radiating...

This afternoon I had two of my dearest friends in for lunch and wine.  Karina trained me for years at the old BODY WORKS GYM here in QT.  She is a MONSTER when it comes to DOING WHAT YOU MUST DO TO DEVELOP SHOULDERS, LEGS, the list is endless...  Now, we laugh at all of the past and muse how enamored we were to having a perfect body!  My space suit is just fine the way it is, but I still have to go to a gym 3 times a week?  I am SCREWED UP?  No, it makes me feel good.

Karina and Jimmy Karina's  partner have a new baby.  A Jack Russell 8 months old named Charlie.  What a joy this dog is!  They have moved from the city that keeps rocking and shaking, Christchurch.  They bought a house in Alexandra.  I LIKE Alex.  It is a very NZ community.  So they are now within an hours drive away from QT.

My studio window is full of plants!  I have to plant the out side wall of my studio with pansies, etc......
We are finally finding our legs on a and within a new lifestyle and planet?

Later.

SUNDAY BRUNCHES

For over 28 years we have opened The Nordic Inn Memorial Day Weekend and closed for the year end of September.  There have been the odd years when we were open during the winter season or remained open into mid October because of fine weather and tourists.

I work 14 hours a day 7 days a week from the hour we first open the doors for business until we close.  This is not a living hell for me.  I love what I do for a living.

I have never worked a job that I did not like.   The years I made a living playing piano... I did not take on gigs that were not pleasant or paid me NOT a decent wage.  I simply would quit a job IF it meant some kind of anxiety and hell for me mentally, physically and spiritually.

Mind you, I do not escape from problems and challenges within the work place.  Work is work.  Work should and must reward us in ways that makes us happy.  Be it money, acclaim, self esteem.

I did not learn how to play piano easily.  I WORKED at it.  PRACTICED for hours beyond my own imagination.  I made mistakes.  Lots of wrong notes but sometimes one cannot learn the correct notes without hitting the wrong ones first!

One thing I WAS A TOTAL FAILURE AT:  SCHOOL WORK.  HOMEWORK as it is called!  I simply hated doing homework.  I would practice piano for hours instead of sitting with my books with pencil and paper at hand.   I loved listening to lectures in class at College and University, but the homework... OMG........  if the course was being taught by a charismatic teacher I could manage to retain their lectures inside my head, but IF NOT!  FAILURE.

Sorry, I am drifting off the subject of SUNDAY BRUNCHES.  Years ago I decided to make Sunday Mornings a special event within the restaurant.  Change the daily menu and offer a Brunch menu 'round 11 AM until 1:00 PM.  It was a success but like so many ideas that are so fun in the beginning they can turn into MONSTERS.

I always know when Sunday rolls around because on Saturday evening after the dinner hours I stay up prepping for SUNDAY BRUNCH.  Sunday Brunch at Brenthoven's can easily serve over a 100 plates.  I am a very small intimate restaurant and take pride in not rushing people over their meals, allowing space and time for every one's needs but Sundays can prove to be something of a ADVENTURE.

This year 2012 has been such a year of tragic and comedic adventures on SUNDAY BRUNCH'S.  I now call them:  SUNDAY CRUNCHES.  I will not bore one with all the details except for one event which I could not ever imagine would ever happen.

Picture a PERFECT SUMMER'S DAY...  Patio is full, inside the restaurant is FULL...  drinks, coffee are flowing... Sara is on both stations.  She is a brilliant waitress.  I have help in the kitchen even though orders are PILING UP LIKE BRICKS...  eggs are not cooking on the stove or on the grill.  French Toast is WET.  My hell, it has been on the grill for over 20 minutes!!!  Water will not boil for Eggs Benedict...  Sara is NOT SCREAMING, but WOULD LIKE TO, "WHERE IN HELL ARE MY ORDERS???????!!!!!!!##$%%^^&"  I am going crazy.

I AM OUT OF PROPANE.  In Western WY we use Propane tanks.  WTH?  We have people asking WHY?  We have people ANGRY?  We have un happy people.  I tell Sara, "You will have to tell them we are out of GAS!"  She is not in the least amused.  She is very kind to me but informs me SHE WILL NOT AND CAN NOT TELL PEOPLE TO GET UP AND LEAVE.  Matt, my "gofer" Sous chef in training says, (I'll tell 'um!)  he does!!!

Another Sara comes to my aid.  Sara Need.  She walks up to my service window and says, "Brent, Bill can fix most anything do you want him to look at the situation?"  "Sure Sara"  I have propane bottles I use on the patio on cold evenings... Billy Neeb saves my ass.  He used the flex tube from the big propane tank and connects it to the line going into my kitchen.  Eggs begin to sizzle, water finds it's bubbles, French Toast becomes crispy...  I owe the man a big favor.

We lost 30 some odd customers not out of anger, but we could not accommodate them.  I was a dead man walking when I went to bed after brunch and the evening dinner shift.

Every Sunday came with open smiling arms full of challenges.  The time the power went out.  Toasters will not work.  Coffee maker STOPS.  FANS.  Fans are a very important life source in a kitchen!

The Sunday a biker on the deck is having a heart attack.  He is 39 years old!  I thought it was my cooking!  He had suffered with heart problems from a very early age.  BUT WHY ON MY SUNDAY BRUNCH DAYS...

The Sundays I RAN OUT OF BACON!  WORST THING:  OUT OF HOME FRIED POTATOES. I make my home fries from real potatoes.  NOT FROZEN ETC.  The list is endless.

I believe it is a sign from the universe.  I must simply go BACK to normal breakfast on Sunday.  Lunch at 11:30 til 1:00 PM.

It is 10 minutes after 5 in the afternoon in QT.  Wine TIME.  I have many times said:  To Goodness and Wisdom we only make promises; we OBEY PAIN.  Well, my pain tells me no more Sunday Brunch just normal stuff!

New Zealand at last! Dec. 2012

Driving to Idaho Falls in route to NOLA and NYC.  I do appear to be OUT OF MY MIND and BODY.  No worries.  I made it.  New Orleans was heaven, the food beyond imagination.  NYC will forever be the center of universe for me and Batman.

House in Alpine first snow storm.  We had the house painted this year.  It was looking like something out of What ever Happened to Baby Jane!  This was not a heavy snow storm.

2 dozen YELLOW ROSES for my B day in NYC.  Every year I get two dozen yellow roses for my Birthday.  Only thing missing???  I love yellow roses with sweet peas!!!!!!!!!  Notice the Beethoven Sonata beside the vase!

Arrived in QT a day late.  Flew on the new Qantas Air Bus from LAX to Sydney AU.  Quiet, and no bumps.  It makes for a slower flight, but so comfy.  Leg room.  MIND YOU WE DO NOT TRAVEL in Business or First Class!  Missed the connection flight to QT so Qantas put us up in a swank hotel downtown Sydney, all meals, drinks, taxi fares, rooms PAID FOR.  Hell, it would have saved them money to simply put us on the flight to QT.

It is spring time.  Pansies are in blossom.  Roses are gorgeous.  Started back at the gym today.  UGH!  I remember the days I pranced around this town in tank tops!  NO MORE!  BUT:  I do believe in the magic of exercise and it does allow me to eat.  If I do not work out I could be 400 lbs.

Tomorrow, I will begin writing about the events of the past summer.  Stay tuned.

WHAT I DID FOR LOVE...

August is a busy month in my restaurant.  I was preparing my steam table... cutting lemons, laying out various things I must have at my finger tips when cooking.

My cell phone rang.  I thought , "let it go... you can call back later..."  then my blood pressure started to sky rocket.  What IF it was an employee is calling about working tonight?  What IF it was my mother or father calling?  I stopped my jobs and reached for my cell phone.  It was a call from my baby sister in New Orleans.  I dialed, she answered.

Teresa said, "I know you are too busy to listen to the news, but, one of your favorite musical icons has died."
"Who?"
"Marvin Hamlisch.  I know how much you admired and loved the music the man created.  He died in
Los Angeles of some kind of lung failure.  I know you will morn this..."

She was spot on.  I actually choked a muffled cry inside my body!  This man's music had an enormous impact on my life.

He was born June 2, 1944.  Two years older than me.  When Teresa was telling all about this event I heard songs playing through my musical mind... THE STING.  He composed the musical score for the movie and of course the top tune:  THE ENTERTAINER by SCOTT JOPLIN... Scott Joplin became a house hold word!

I was  teaching piano to lots of kids during the 70's.   They ALL learned "The Entertainer" by Scott Joplin.
They learned that there had been a rag time composer... a black man... married to a white woman!!! Scott Joplin composed many rags...

I have played for dance classes in some of the most famous dance schools in the USA for over 20 years of my life. WHY?

I grew up with a mother that loved dance and could dance.  I could improvise at the piano and play by ear... I could accomadate any change in tempo, drop measures, add more beats... you name it.  (BTW, this is not a good gift if you perform classical music!)

When "A CHORUS LINE" the musical hit Broadway, it represented a major part of my life as well as what I did to pay rent.

I saw it on Broadway.  I saw it in SLC, UT at the Capitol Theater.  I attended the LAST ROAD SHOW OF IT"S PERFORMANCES IN DENVER COLORADO.  I have a key chain I purchased at the Denver Show. It sits on a sacred table I have in NZ of certain rocks, photos, dried flowers...

I loved all the music Marvin composed but two songs belong to me forever.  "WHAT I DID FOR LOVE" and the main theme... "ONE" from A CHORUS LINE.  Marvin gave me a very special gift.  A melody that would haunt me all of my life.  I have forever said:  If you want to give someone a gift they will never forget............ give them a melody.

I went to NYC in 1968.  Liza was a nobody... Bette Midler was not really known... Marvin?  well?  Brent was there but, they Liza, Bette etc. even Barry Manallow  went far beyond my dreams.  (I lied, I went to NYC the first time when I was 17 because I had won a talent contest!)

I knew from then on that, that particular city belonged to me... or I belonged to it in another lifetime.

In 1968 MAME was the rage.  I saw it with Angela Langsbery live at the Schubert Theater.   At the time I was in rehearsal for a musical review called:  "FROM BROADWAY WITH LOVE".  That story could fill a book beyond belief.  I have had to learn some big lessons in life!

I met Marvin two times in my and his life.  Once in Las Vegas.  He was performing his Piano Concerto.  Once in SLC, UT.  He was a bit nervous because of his Jewish background and the Mormon power.  I told him:  THE MORMONS NEED THE JEWS, THE JEWS NEED THE MORMONS OMG, what if Hamlish were alive in this dimension and with the up and coming election!  WHAT WOULD HE DO... write a fantastic song.  Damn I miss him.

He is one of 11  people to win all four major U.S. performing awards:  EMMY AWARD, GRAMMY AWARD, OSCAR and TONY AWARDS.  This collection of 4 is referred to as an "EGOT".
Hamlish and RICHARD RODGERS... (Sound of Music, Oklahoma, Show Boat...) are the only two people to win this award.  HE, HAMLISH ALSO WON A PULITZER PRIZE.  The list is endless.


When Understood that he had died.  I lit a candle.  I placed one of my sacred stones beside it and gave him my adoration and thanks for making my musical life amazing.

I cannot imagine our planet living without his music.  I love my classical genius's but We ALL NEED the music of MARVIN.  He is eternal.  I miss him.

One can read more about him on line.

change... snow... colder temps...

Yesterday brought snow.

As Robert Frost wrote... Stopping by woods on a snowy evening.  The little horse must think it queer not to have a farm house near... he gives his harness bells a shake as if to ask is there some mistake?  The woods are lovely dark and deep but, I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep and miles to go before I sleep... and promises to keep...

Snow brings "SILENCE".  Snow covers stuff that is ugly.  Snow INSULATES.  It keep heat inside caves, houses, tents...  IGLOOS!  Snow translates into winter solstice.  It defines the meaning of being cold.

Every snow flake is a glorious "individual" only one of a pattern.  Proof that we humans are much like snow flakes.  Each and every one of us has are very own DNA that sets us apart from  other life forms.  That DNA is also a part of our spiritual being.  It defines who and what we are in this dimension of time and space.

Weeks ago I awoke 'round 5 AM.  The heavens were scintillating with the light of diamonds.  Stars.  The Milky Way was vibrating.  It set into words one of my favorite lines from Longfellow:::Then, within the meadows of heaven blossomed the lovely stars.  The "Forget-me-nots" of the angels.  ONE STAR SHOWN BEYOND THE REST... THE MORNING STAR.

When I was a little boy I learned a transcription piano solo of this wonderful aria by Wagner.  The Morning Star.  The melody thrummed it's vibrations inside my musical mind.  I had to walk out into the woods and become part of the celebration of morning.  A NEW DAY.

I have all these topics I want to write about but do not seem to find the "creative force" that enables me to put into words what I feel or am thinking...  Tomorrow is a new day!

A Native American told me once that the best way to live was:  KEEP CLEAN AND KEEP YOUR PROMISES.  I promise I will write about so many things that occurred the past few months.

I am practicing 2 and more hours a day!  THAT IS AMAZING!

My neck, arms, hands, wrists are in pain!

They will be fine in a few days.  Using muscles I have not engaged in months is a kind of strange adventure in and of itself!   I am excited about my musical adventure in NYC.

Goals keep us centered.
Music demands the three "D'S"... Determination, dedications and discipline.

MAGIC

I do believe in MAGIC!  My life has always and will forever be magic.  I simply have to fit into a new and different space.  From Memorial day week end until the end of September I put on a different hat.
I hate "LABELS".  You are a pianist, you are a Mormon, you are a weight lifter, you are a writer, you are a rebel, you are  and you are and you are.  I had an old Doctor in Star Valley tell me ounce:  WE ARE SIMPLY SPIRITUAL BEINGS EXPERIENCING A PHYSICAL BODY.  (Dr. O.D. Perkes)

I do believe he was absolutely right. Einstein proved E- Mass... everyone knows the equation.  When I was fading into another world with cancer three years ago... there was a force that lifted me, held me within the arms of love and I was never afraid of dying.  I was afraid of living.  PEOPLE CAN BE EVIL and they CAN AND WILL DO VERY BAD THINGS TO THE HUMAN RACE, NATURE, YES THEY DO EFFECT THE UNIVERSE!

I believe somethings in life are like art of tuning my piano.

Roger Baker is a MASTER.  He maintains the pianos at the most precious musical event on this earth:  THE TETON MUSIC FESTIVAL.  When I was in St. John's Hospital in Jackson Hole WY.  he walked into my room without my knowing.  He was tuning a piano at the new performing arts center.  He is a doctor for pianos.  He loves my piano.  He never fails to keep it in a state of bliss and awaiting my hands.

He came by the first of Sept. and I had him care for my means of expression.  (MY PIANO)  He made my piano sound like an angel.  He understands the way my hands fall and touch the keys... he knows I live in a harsh climate and it effects the piano...  HE UNDERSTANDS HOW I EXPRESS MY BEING ALIVE VIA THE PIANO.

We need medicine and Doctors to keep us alive.  Today I drove Matt to the SV Medical Clinic for tests round 7:30 AM.  The moon was at it's crest, the stars were smiling at me... I had to awake round 6:30 AM to drive him to Afton.  Buy the time I picked him up the sun was just beginning to smile on me life.

I live within the most amazing energy on earth.  The Mountains, the rivers, the sky, the sunsets, the moon and stars.  Life is good.

I've got a lot to be thankful for...

ALERT:  EXCUSE MY POOR SPELLING.  MY SPELL CHECK WILL NOT WORK AT THE MOMENT AND I AM FRUSTRATED.  ALAS!

We closed the business Sept. 30th, Sunday evening 2012.   Sometimes I do not STOP and just think:  I have so much, beyond imagination to be thankful for.  The past year I have been so fortunate, and yet I still want to expand more and more and explore so many other things in what life I have left in this dimension.

The beginning of the season was good.  I hired a cook...  He was in his late 50's and he did a fine job, but had so many other issues in his life.  Suddenly in July he could no longer work.  I worked alone... into August.  That means a lot of prep work... making soups, sauces, baking potatoes, and more things than most people would understand.  Then the Universe gave me a fine young man.  A 23 years old and able to handle the job.

My staff, meaning girls were pure magic and worked their sweet butts off for me.  Business was way up and my health did not fail me...

I awoke this morning round 8 AM.  I did go to bed early last night.

It was very cold this morning, but I had to GET OUT AND DISCOVER THE PLACES IN THE WOODS I LOVE TO WALK WITHIN...  I have not taken any walks with the magic of nature since I opened Memorial Day Weekend...

I walked from the back door of the house to the highway.  The Mighty Snake River is extremely LOW.   One can see islands of sand, dead trees, and life that lives below the deep green waters.  I walked to what I call the mouth of the Grand Canyon of The Snake River.  My hands, and feet were freezing, but I could not stop climbing into the blue morning sky, the mist on the river and the clean air.

I finally turned around and walking back toward my house I turned into my sacred Green Cathedral.  I have written about this space before.  It was full of the symphony of bird, pine and cedar songs.  The few yellow leaves of the quaking aspen were vibrating against the endless blue sky holding a half moon within it's loving arms.

I walked into my kitchen, made bacon, eggs and toast.  Then walked up to the house to begin a cleaning project that I have neglected for months.

The tree squrills were every where.  I have two that live behind my restaurant.  I named the one FATSO.  He actually got stuck in the drain pipe that goes into my dumpsters...  his fat body did release itself because of the grease drippings... the other squirrel I named Squrilly Shirley...  She can simply fly through the air.

Behind the house we have tree squirrels.  One was on the ladder we have propped against the house because of painting projects.  That damn squrill was on the top of ladder when I came home this afternoon.  It scurried down the ladder steps.  (I am not making this up...) then ran to the crab apple tree beside the sliding doors in the kitchen of the house.  It sat on the  end of a limb and began going up and down on the branch of the tree, which is laden with apples.  The little critter was having a ball.  There was another one in a cedar tree behind the crab apple tree.  Cedar berries are not as big as the crab apples... crab apples are about the size of a marble...  the poor bugger in the cedar tree could not compete with Crab apple Amusement Parks Rides.

I remember my Grandma Johnston making Crab apple Jelly when I was a little boy.  She would hold the sealed jars up to sunlight to see the clarity and color of the jelly.

In Eastern Wyoming everyone has their "secret" places where Huckleberries grow.  Where Morel Mushrooms grow...  I love it because where I grew up in Northern Utah, we had to drive into the canyons to find Chokecherries... Sarvis Berries...  and mushrooms?  we left the mushroom hunting to the Ute Indians.

I played Beethoven on my piano today!  I down loaded books from Amazon.com onto my I Pad...
I am so  grateful I have so many gorgeous things in my life.  Most of all nature, music, family and friends.

I plan to write about many things that drifted through my mind the past four months.  Life is good.

Home in Wyoming

Left New Zealand on April 25th.  Long trip.  12 hour flight from Auckland to LAX.  Hour and 45 min. from LAX to SLC, UT.

The weather was wonderful.  Early spring.  Spent a week with my family.

The day we were preparing everything for the drive from Utah to Wyoming I began sweating from head to toe... could not breathe, my heart was pounding like a frantic drummer...  my mother called 911.  The rapid, amazing EMT service saved my life.

Spent hours in ER then over night in hospital.  I have pulmonary artery disease...  I have suffered with asthma ever since I was a little tiny boy!  I was also experiencing panic attacks.  Okay, lots of tests, drugs, prescriptions were filled and I returned to my parents house.

Plans were we would leave the next morning for Alpine.  We packed the truck with suit cases, supplies for the business and were about to say goodbyes when all of a sudden I could not breathe.  What the hell is going on????????  Michael drove me directly to the ER.  Asthma attack.  Damn I had to spend another night in hospital.  Lots of oxygen, relief from stress.
Next morning I was out of hospital and drove the four hours to Alpine, WY.
I am feeling okay.  Have my moments, but I am so happy to be back in the arms of these mountains and able to walk along the mighty Snake River.

Will open the Nordic Inn and my restaurant the night of the 25th.  It will be flat out work 24/7 until Oct.
I do have wonderful employees and I love my work.  I hope to keep this blog up to date during the summer because it is my life's journal.  Stay tuned!

Anne's escape

Yesterday began as most days.  The sun rises, one hits the "ON" button on the coffee maker, I stagger around glancing out the windows... ah, it is going to be a lovely day... nah, rain, possibly wind...  then the I PAD.

Listen to the news from USA.  Drink possibly three cups of coffee.  I DO NOT DRINK OUT OF MUGS.  I like real CHINA that sings when it touches the saucer.  I know I am a really prissy old man!  However, bone china does enhance the flavor and over all flavor of food and drink.

Micheal's mother is 94 years old.  Suffers from full blown dementia.  We awaken her 'round 11 AM or Noon most days.  She is very kind and easy to care for.  I have written a blog about her 94th B day here in NZ, January 25, 2012.

I gave her a coffee with 2 sugars, cream and her morning mind you only 2 pills!   She enjoyed the coffee as I made her breakfast.  Scrambled eggs loaded with potatoes, tomatoes, and sharp Cheddar cheese, sliced fresh strawberries from my garden and sliced bananas.

Michael told me early in the morning he had to go to the Hardware store and purchase all sorts of items.
I said: NO PROBLEM!  Go, get out of this place and I will take care of your mother.  He drove out of the garage just as Anne was eating her breakfast.  I told her I was going down the stairs  and taking a shower while she ate her breakfast.  She assured me that she would be fine.  I had put the radio on a lovely classical station... everything was perfect.  I bounce down the stairs and get my shower going.

All is well, I have shaved, showerd, brushed and dried the body and hair.  Don my comfy pants, shirt and sandals...  I walk up stairs.

THERE IS NO ANNE IN HER CHAIR AT THE TABLE.  Her plate is clean.  Her coffee cup empty.
Once again her "place" is empty!

I did not panic.  I simply walked into the back yard garden and gently called her name.  Silence.  I ran down the stairs into her bedroom... SILENCE.   She was wearing a robin egg blue fluffy bath robe over her pale blue night gown and dark blue house slippers...  WHERE IN THE HELL IS SHE?

A beam of light shot across my mind.  She has been "translated"  she has literally escaped death by being "taken up" as it were!

That illusion evaporated faster than lightning.  The most dreadful thought flew into my mind:  MICHEAL WILL KILL ME!  He will strangle me and kill me!  He will go insane when he returns from the hardware store and cannot find his mother...

I began yelling her name...  NO RESPONSE.  I ran up and down the back yard.  The neighbors know us over many years...  I called them... they were searching.

I finally came to the horrible conclusion I MUST CALL THE POLICE.  Tell them there is a 94 year old woman out there somewhere and she looks like a very bad blue Easter egg.

My mind kept making a movie of all this drama.  I have a complex mind.  I could see skate boarders running into her and slamming her to the pavement.  She had possibly fallen and was in horrid pain laying in the middle of the street...  I thought of her knocking on doors asking if her parents were inside the persons house... the list is endless and not noteworthy of my telling all the details that shot through my mind's eye.

I have all the neighbors out searching and then OMG, that pale green Holden 4-Door turns into the street called Panorama Place and Micheal is in the car... his mouth is saying without words but the movements of the lips and inner mouth parts: "WHY IS MOTHER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET ON PANORAMA TERRACE??? WHAT IN F> IS GOING ON?"

I ran to the bottom of the street.  I could not believe my eyes.  This woman is protected by angels.

Philippe Berton, the owner of my favorite restaurant in QT was walking Anne up the street with the aid of a 6'5" young man~  I looked at Philippe and said:  HOW DID YOU FIND HER?.

He said he was driving down the street with his partner a lovely woman.  He told her, he recognized ANNE!  In the mean time a young man at 11 Panorama Terrace saw her and helped her...  She still has her choice for young virle men...

My life was crumbling before my eyes!  Our dear neighbor, Ann Gardner said:  "Now, Brent, you must make humor of all of this..."  Her mother suffered from the same disease.

We got Anne back into the house.  Put clothes on her... and put her to bed.  She slept like a log.  We awakened her for dinner because we had guests coming for a meal.

I pulled it off, but:
Someone tell me there are not forces, angels, guardians that watch over us?  This woman is pretty much blind.  Her hearing is gone...  she has full blown ostiopralishs... she walked in bed room slippers all the way down a very steep road...  she never, ever fell, she could see enough to know she was enjoying the the colors of autumn and the blue of her robe...  ENERGY=MASS...  Einstein was right...  MASS=ENERGY?  I do not know, I think I believe in quantum physics more and more...

Today I chilled out.  I cleaned, detailed the kitchen because of our departure date.  I did laundry.  It is still on the line drying...  I walked into the center.  Purchased food items etc.  I took a ECO FRIENDLY CAB home.  I KNOW religions have problems.  I am out of that dimension.  I KNOW that certain energies are forever with us and protect us from destroying out very own lives.  I believe in KARMA.

I have watched the stars and planets from Iceland, Greenland, New Zealand, Greece, Spain, Mexico, Wyoming, USA.  From the Gulf of Mexico... from every place possible and I still believe that life is forever eternal and numbers are useless and eternal, when defining a persons life.  Mathematics are music.  The art of Mathematics is truth.  I only know:  this old woman disappeared and re appeared because of some force in the universe and most of all I AM NOT DEAD BECAUSE I LOST HER!

Quick ending to this blog.

When I was a very little boy about 2  years old.  My mother tied me to a tree and the rope was tied to one one of the parts of my pants.  This was so I could not escape, but enjoy the shade and fun of the tree I was tied to.

Well, somehow, I decided to remove my pants.  Thus I removed the rope that bound me.  I wandered off.  My poor mother would have been around 22 years of age.  I simply set myself free!  My dear mother has dealt with that element of my desire to be free for all of my life.

Anne found out, she did not have to be bound any longer...  I understand her plight into the unknown.  I only hope my angels do not allow me to wander around one day in my bath robe and I hope I still can forgive and love~  growing old is not a gift!

Things happen only two things:  THE MIND GOES OR THE BODY GOES... THE BODY GOES AND THE MIND REMAINS... THEN THE JOY OF DEATH...  as a dear friend of mine used to say:  There are things worse than death... it is called living beyond your time!

Thank you FDA.  I would think most Christians could not wait for the time of their death.  Rejoin with Christ.  I know too many that fear death.  I am so sorry for them.  Because of medicine we prolong life beyond what?  You will return and and we all must to fulfill our karmic balance.  Life is good, but OMG, do not run away from your very bliss!  (easy for me to say as I am still alive, however, I wanted to die when I had the cancer... I wanted to die when the Mormon Church told me I was evil... I wanted to die so many times in my youth... because of one thing:  DOGMA.  Most people will say Brent simply misunderstood?  WHAT?  I am my own person.

Anne went for a walk.  She does not know she went for the walk.  The walk was to teach us a lesson.

Random thoughts...

Yesterday I enjoyed lunch at my favorite cafe. I have written about the cafe in my past blogs.

I sat at the front window, upstairs over looking a very busy sidewalk full of people. One of my favorite hobbies is observing people. The way they dress, the different tempos they walk to, the endless shapes of body parts. Eyes and the expressions the human face portrays. Free entertainment.

I glanced toward the back of the dinning room where an ornate black board hangs on the wall.

Written in white chalk were these words:

"Wine is a constant proof that God loves us and likes to see us happy!" I grinned from ear to ear.

I always thought Christ's words at the last supper were fitting, "Drink this wine in remembrance of my blood which I shed for you..." well, my liver has enjoyed a hell of a lot of remembering Christ's blood... I should be saved with out a problem.

I happen to regard GOOD WINE as something very special. One reason: I cook with it. It does enhance certain dishes and meats. All of the steaks grilled in my restaurant have a splash of red wine poured on them as they are sizzling on the grill. It helps tenderize the meat, enhances the flavor as well as it smells wonderful! Wine has existed for thousands of years. It was one of the first antibiotics. The Chinese used wine for many medical purposes eons ago.

I will stop rambling about the glory of wine, but I did love the words on the wall in the restaurant. Wine is a constant proof that God loves us!.... (that may have a different meaning for someone who lives with a wino!) SORRY!

I seem to be dreaming more than I can ever recall. I have forever dreamed in COLOR. My dreams are not upsetting, but so intense and strange? Some of the images of people and places in my dreams of late are of faces I cannot identify?

I meditated on the situation the other day and realized: So much of my love life has depended on a "GLANCE" of a stranger... something caught in the wind as it were, and the GLANCE returned. Like walking down the streets of NYC and a person's glance will catch my eye... there have actually been times when the effect was as if a fist squeezed my heart and cracked a tiny flask at my heart's center saturating it with love!

I think some of those moments have been "imprinted" into my mind in such a way they are now coming out in dreams... I am not complaining.

The other day my taxi driver was a young man from Timaru NZ. (anything under 50 is very young to me anymore!)

He asked me where I was from, (the usual dialogue). Most of the cabby's know me because of my coming to QT for many years... I never even tell them my address, they simply know we are driving home!

I told him I had been coming to NZ for 22 years. Well, you would have thought he had a live Encyclopedia in his cab. He asked me if I liked the changes in QT. I said, of course! As we were driving up to 11 Panorama Place I pointed out sites that are now built upon with huge hotels, gardens, business buildings. He slowed the taxi down and said tell me about this and that... as we drove along the streets. I enjoyed relating my memories of what was then and not now!

Ballaret Street is one hell of a STEEP HILL. I told him how I used to walk up that hill with groceries and a cigarette in my mouth. NOT TODAY! The corner where the Glebe Hotel sits was an abandon old house with gorgeous apricot trees and apple trees. I'd fill plastic sacks with the fruit and bake pies! Where the Millennium Hotel now sits was a paddock. Full of goats and sheep. I would run through the paddock on my way to the Body Worx Gym early in the mornings. He was loving the history.

Then suddenly a thought flew into my brain: He was asking for "MEMORIES" too young for himself to know and that all memories are only memories of memories!

When I was 17 years old I asked my Piano Teacher all about his concert career in the 20's and 30's~ My Landlady Mabel had stories about her life in Green river WY and San Fransisco during the depression... parties, music, deaths... places that no longer existed... I asked my grandparents about their pasts... amazing things, but I could only imagine and gaze at photos.

They were memories with in memories...

The young man driving my taxi will have his own memories within memories one day... I love my memories, but I LOVE THE FUTURE. The future contain my new memories.

After leaving the taxi I thought how sometimes my mind stands apart from my body. It has many times during moments of elation, depression, tragedy, pain, suffering beyond my imagination... and then my dreams! We ride our souls in sleep like horses and sometimes the horse knows best where and how to go!...

I have survived many situations in my life... I have been lonely beyond words at times, and so confused because of certain dogmas that were pounded inside my brain as a child. I have forgiven and I hope been forgiven because of many passionate and strange love affairs, yet I cling to the hope and the belief everything in my life is for a purpose. It is for something beyond my imagination.

I listen to news, I read, I can still reason... I only KNOW one thing that equalizes all of us NO MATTER WHO YOU MAY THINK YOU ARE AND THE WORLD THINKS YOU ARE:

DEATH EQUALIZES ALL OF US.

No great leader, no politician, no religious icon, no one... we are ALL equal in death. BTW, hope I don't die tonight, but If, just IF I DO, I will be equal with some pretty amazing people.

Enough Random thoughts...

Easter weekend...

Yesterday was "GOOD FRIDAY"... today the day after good Friday... tomorrow is EASTER, then we have the day after Easter. Long holiday in New Zealand.

Easter Holiday is comparable to Labor Day Week End in the USA. Same weather. Autumn, short days long nights with a nip in the air. In USA Easter always translates into SPRING TIME. In New Zealand it is the gentle prelude into Winter.

When I was a child I loved Easter. It meant new clothes for Church! Easter Parades... Judy Garland singing "Put on Your Easter Bonnet, with all the frills upon it..."

The Easter Bunny leaving us baskets full of candies. The long Easter Cantatas, Church Services and most of all there was always some kind of a SPRING STORM. Even snow.

I will never forget reading a book for children about Easter in Russia. The gorgeous eggs decorated in jewels. Easter Egg Hunts... I also recall the photos of MAY DAY POLES being wrapped in brilliant colored ribbons of cloth.

The origin of most holidays evolved from pagan celebrations hundreds of years ago. Religion revised many of those seasonal jubilees to fit into their doctrines... thus we have holidays that are linked to beliefs in Christianity and not the evil of many GODS?

Sometimes I think having many Gods would be wonderful, but instead we get to blame everything on one GOD! He created everything...

We will be closing this house in two weeks... return to USA on the 25th.

HOLIDAYS! WHEEeeeeee... I spend Thanksgiving in Utah, Christmas in New Zealand. New Years in New Zealand. Valentine's Day in New Zealand. St. Patrick's Day in New Zealand. Easter in NZ but, the biggest holiday is my coming to this great country 5 months a year and every day is a holiday beyond imagination.

ROMANTIC GRANDEUR

Saturday evening I attended the Southern Sinfonia's opening concert in Dunedin.

The wonderful venue, TOWN HALL is under renovation. I do hope and pray the do up engineers do not mess with the perfection of such a lovely sound chamber.

Because of the remodeling the concert was held at the Regent Theatre in the Octagon of Dunedin. The Regent is a grand old theatre but does not have the acoustics of the Town Hall.

The concert was titled, ROMANTIC GRANDER and it held true to the theme.

I DETEST ARRIVING LATE FOR CONCERTS! I relish the time to wander around the lobby of a performance venue. Gaze at the chandeliers, art work, marble stairs, walls adorned with paintings of great artists, and the framed lists of families, individual, and organizations who are on the board of trustees. People that are generous with their wealth and influence in support of the arts.

My landlady had chosen a perfect seat for me. In the Stalls Row E seat 23. Mind you, I usually prefer a front row seat in the balcony, but because the concert was at the Regent I wanted something on the ground floor and yet close to the piano and sinfonia. Perfect.

Ever since I was a kid I loved the 'tuning up' of all the instruments before a symphonic concert. The back and forth wail of the strings, horns tooting scales... I always feel a strange emotion during this time when all the various musician are tuning because they are INDIVIDUALS...

they all look different from each other, they are playing different instruments, their ages span from very young to very old... but... then the moment of magic is when the first violinist walks on stage, bows, turns to the orchestra and they tune to ONE NOTE! Everything comes into harmony and oneness. The violinist sits down and then the CONDUCTOR walks on...

Applause and russeling of feet, programs, coughing whisperings all cease and a vibrating moment of silence takes command. The conductor lifts his baton the concert comes to life.

Opening piece was lovely. Lilburn's Drysdale Overture. Applause followed and then the movement of chairs, music stands, making way for the Mighty Black Whale, the Steinway Concert Grand Piano.

Stage hands dusting the curves of the instrument after it was placed in the exact markings on the stage floor. Then a young man lifted on the stage the piano stool. He actually sat on the seat to make positive it was placed correctly.

I consider the piano bench, stool, seat as the blessed THRONE of the artist.

All things were in order. Enter the conductor. Then the star of the evening: DEIDRE IRONS.

This woman is one of New Zealands treasures. She was born in Canada but has made New Zealand her home since the mid 70's. She is my age plus... She graced the stage with confidence, joy and most of all her humble ambiance. She took her place at the piano, put her eye glasses on and gave the "nod" to the conductor.

The Concerto was the Brahms Piano Concerto No. 2. ONE OF MY FAVORITE PIECES.

It is not a parlor recital piece. It is a massive work. The Concerto plays for about give or take 50 minutes... a very long spell of endurance for any athlete playing sport!

A horn solo introduces the main theme with the piano interceding... woodwinds and piano... then strings... full orchestra and piano.

Deidre played with such power and command. Her movements, her hands were so authoritative beyond belief. She smeared a few things, but my GOD she KNEW this work as if were the love of her life!

I always hold my breath, get a strange tightness in my gut when the music comes to a key change into F minor... (then to the dominant key of f major) the piano plays a most DIFFICULT and TREACHEROUS passage!

I was once told that some, even seasoned concert artists omit this passage at times!

Deidre simply 'high dived' into the dark waters and swam through it like an Olympic gladiator.

After the passage from hell... the orchestra tutti appears back to the tonic key of B flat. The movement ended with everyone in the audience spell bound.

2nd movement went like magic... 3rd movement. This is one of my favorite musical themes.

The Cello plays a 3 minute solo before the piano gently enters the musical canvas... the movement is full of every emotion imaginable.

4th movement. Allegretto Grazioso.

I love this section. It is very Hungarian... passionate and Brahms ends it with a little march

them that is haunting... ONLY BRAHMS.

Deidre Irons stood as the audience including myself screamed BRAVOS, stomping of feet on the floor boards... hoots and exclamations of yea from the audience. She made 3 curtain calls... was given a bouquet of the most gorgeous flowers... The woman is amazing.

Intermission, well, Interval as they call it in other parts of the world. Then the Sibelius Symphony No. 5.

I have known people that swoon like crazy over this symphony. I like it, but I do not have a great affinity with it. I do love the swan calls and flutter of wings with strings and flutes... the 6 staggered chords at the end separated by the SOUND OF SILENCE" between each chord is wonderful.

Was truly a MUSICAL NIGHT OF ROMANTIC GRANDER!

Photos and interviews...

I am a terrible traveler in as much as: I have a wonderful digital Kodak camera.

I purchased it years ago in Dunedin, New Zealand. It is a, DX4530 5.0 mega pixels... it still takes great photos. ONLY PROBLEM?

I FORGET TO USE THE DAMN THING! Why?

Years ago when I was touring Viet Nam, people begged me to take photos. My arrogant reply was, "Nah! I have a mind that photographs everything. I can't be bothered with the snap, snap, snap of the camers!"

Stupid me! I experienced 'priceless' moments during performances, amazing people I met, some near fatal moments... well, in my scrap books I have a handful of small photos I took in Viet Nam!

Thank God, the "Stars and Stripes" took photos of shows and of course other performers shared some pictures with me. Three Christmas Tours to Viet Nam and I have about 10 photos to prove it!

I have hiked all over the South Island of New Zealand. I do have pictures and some amazing moments with nature that I have captured on film. I am a devout keeper of journals. I write in long hand on the paper within the arms of those journals every day.

I cannot imagine life without my Mac Book or my I PAD... yet photos evade me!

Everyone tells me I must Skype. Well, I did it once. I did not like the picture I was seeing of someone that I honestly adore and happen to think is very attractive.

Every freckle, splotch on the skin, droopy eyes... sagging flesh! YIKES!

I said NOT TO THIS

TECHNOLOGY. I will use the telephone, write letters, e mail but not have the live person with no make up, no knowledge about what we are speaking endure such an ordeal, which includes myself.

I am NOT a telephone person. Years ago I learned a very difficult lesson: NEVER, EVER DRINK AND DIAL.

I am not good with interviews.

Years ago I made my New Zealand debut as a pianist in the city of Christchurch.

The local television station featured me live on a noon time talk show. I was to be interviewed, then play piano at the end of the program as the show ended... I was full of confidence, and I looked great.

I was wearing a black mock turtle neck sweater, gray slacks and sun tanned, fit and full of energy. The set designers had placed a gorgeous French Press Coffee Plunger on the table in front of me in the attempt to make the scene very 'cozy' and comfortable. I had two TV hosts on either side of me. A piano was off to stage right of where I was seated.

It was sort of like one of those Reggis and Kathy type shows. Everyone is hyper and so glitzy.

When the director counted down to air time I could not take my eyes away from the coffee plunger! The hosts of the show asked me mundane questions and I answered but kept staring at the coffee plunger!

I finally asked, "Where did you find such an ornate and beautiful plunger?" both hosts gasped as if the toilet had been clogged or something terrible had happened... needless to say I had a great audience at the concert.

I played Rhapsody in Blue, Chopin's Ballade in G minor, Granados's Laments of the Maiden and the Nightingale...

Had RAVE REVIEWS, from one of NZ's most bashing critics. The review was printed in the morning paper, THE PRESS. I have it framed and it hangs on a wall inside my restaurant beside photos of famous people I have met or worked with!

I am honestly not so good when I have to express myself by the spoken word. One of my dearest Pianist friends and coaches told me I suffer from dyslexia of speech! WTF?

(that means: where are the flowers!)

Years ago I performed a concert in Boise Idaho. One of my dear friends Shirley Taylor had every detail in perfect order. I was to do a radio show/ interview, early on a Sunday Morning before the concert.

We arrived at the radio broadcast house and the doors were locked! One more time: where are the flowers????

Well, a huge man, I mean a giant walked around the building as we were pounding on the door and said: "What is the problem?" we explained our situation. He said, "I have a talk show about sports and your welcome to be my guest!"

I said, "Great! We are on the air no matter what!" (BTW: Playing piano is most athletic!)

It was a wonderful studio. Everything was wonderful.

The big Football Player asked me when I actually started playing piano. I said "in the womb!"

Well... we got into star seed children, reincarnation but the problem for this wonderful guy was: HOW IN HELL DID I GET OUT OF THE WOMB WITHOUT A PIANO! Many people listened to that interview. We packed the place. If you ever need an agent call Shirley T. She simply knows how to put things together in the most interesting way! I love her.

After that radio show I stopped all live interviews. They are very dangerous. I never know what may blow out of my mouth. I keep a blog instead.

some photos of my stay in the Golden Bay

Golden Bay Trip

Had a magical time in one of my favorite places on the planet earth. Long, very long trip to Nelson, then a bus trip to Takaka. Gorgeous drives through endless verdent shades of green, hills and vales, then when FINALLY the bus stopped in Takaka, my dear friend Rutha was waiting for me with open arms. It had been a full on day of travel. We drove to Sans Souci Inn. I relaxed with a glass of RED.

Slept like a dead man. I awoke 'round 8 AM made a French Press of Coffee, filled my cup and walked onto the beach. The winds had swept the beach clean during the silent hours of night, filled the air with the invisible perfume of sea breeze and the musical movement of the waves.

My bare feet kissing the cool wet sandy beach. I made foot prints in the sand and watched them disapear behind me as the waters sucked my imprints back into the bay!

Such a healing a splendid morning. A couple of nights and days at SSI and I had to move to a new accomodation. I FELL IN LOVE WITH BEING A HERMIT.

Rutha, had reserved me a very nice house, (cottage), at a place called: SAND CASTLE... I have posted some photos, or will soon. A wonderful house. Full kitchen, bathroom, two bedrooms, deck with table and chairs! The ambiance was pure magic.

The owner, Steve is a musician. He allowed me to play his restored piano out of England. Ah! The first time my fingers have touched an acoutic piano in ages. I fell in love with the place.

I could cook my own food, nap when my blood suger hit the basement, I would walk anywhere my feet desired... simply bliss on earth.

My entire time with friends was blessed.

The entire Golden Bay is very laid back and seriously hippie 1960's, except there are so many very young people from all over the world living and traveling through the area. Bright colors, lots of LONG HAIR, markets, and get this: a restaurant that I possibly should attempt to copy?

"SPACE OF LOVE": Vegetarian takeaways. Summer hours, Mon-Sat 12-6pm

Organic Community Gardens. (go to www.spaceoflove.co.nz) GET THIS: SPACE OF LOVE IS A UNIQUE CAFE RUN BY VOLUNTEERS WHERE THE CUSTOMERS SET THE PRICE!

ARE YOU READY??????

The food is lovingly prepared daily according to AYURVEDIC PRINCIPLES from ORGANIC PRODUCE.

Sample Menues:

Italian Calzone with Pumpkin Coconut soup.

Rosemary Yougart baked potatoes with green succhini in Cashew Tomato Sauce with Cheese.

Pita bread with Hummus, Falafel and Salad.

Vegetables auGratin with Basmati Rice and Tamarind Chutney.

Lasagna with Spinach, Aubergine, Tomato and Cpsicum.

Vegetarian Sheaperd's Pie with Garden salad and Balsamic Dressing...

OMG, they even offer cooking classes.

LOVED IT.

Had my miraculaus massage from Yana, spent hours meditating, loved my reading... making music without always a keyboard... being with a dear friend, BUT:

The trip home!

We had to get out of bed by 5:30 AM so that Brentie could catch a bus into Takaka then into Nelson Airport. Everything went as planned until I arrived into CHCH. (Earthquake City of the World)... All flights are abolutely booked in NZ at the present. I had to wait 3 hours for my flight. That is OKAY! Enjoyed a lunch, reading, relaxing. Then when I am to board the plane:

"ALL FLIGHTS INTO QT ARE CANELLED DUE TO WEATHER IN QT!" Everything began falling into all kinds of bits and pieces. Air NZ chartered a bus for all passengers because the flight in the AM was sold out and there was NO GAURENTEE that flight would be able to land safely.

At 6:30 PM a bus arrived. We drove 6 hours in the dark without a restroom on the bus, no food stops or water as everything was closed in route to QT.

I read my book on my I PAD, watched a movie on my MacBook... all battery energy was going down, down, down... arrived in QT at 2:00 AM. THERE WERE ALOT OF AMERICANS ON THE BUS SAYING: "IN GOD WE TRUST!" I was never so embaressed! These were people older than me, and God only knows sometimes I think there are no people older than me! How insane! It was a problem with the weather? NOTHING TO DO WITH A GOD! I have a mouth bitten shut with trying to keep my mouth from screaming: SHUT THE FUCK UP AND BE HAPPY YOU ARE NOT IN DANGER OF CRASHING INTO A MOUNTAIN!

Caught a cab in the center and walked into the doors of my beloved house at 2:30 AM.

Will write about all the good times in a few hours. Must make dinner. Had a great holiday.

My afternoon sourie

I I Worked hard in the hope of creating something different for snacks with wines, tea and coffee... because we had invited some dear friends in for an afternoon of 'catching up' on each other's past few weeks... I wanted something that could pass for a 'light meal' yet have the essence of a simple not sitting down to a full blown dining experience.

Something I could pull off on the patio in the sunshine and not have people sitting at the dining room table...

I baked a vegetable/beef steak pie, homemade breads with virgin olive oil, real butter and different spreads, fresh tomatoes,cucumbers with red onions in a home made french dressing, vintage aged cheese and of course brie cheese.

Lots of various crackers and two Reds, one White wine. Fresh ground coffee beans and PG black Tea. Sat out the wine bottles, wine glasses, napkins... forks, knives. Had all the platters with food on the serving table when out of the blue a wind blasted my entire showcase. Dear GOD! I flew like a spinning Dervish Dancer... I saved every thing including the napkins.

Well, everything took on a different look. Food was set on the kitchen counter, friends filled their plates with yummy bits and pieces and sat around the dining room table.

Over the many, many years I have catered and hosted my own dinner parties I always muse how no matter who the person, they Cleve unto the kitchen and the kitchen table.

In my home in WY I can have a gorgeous fire blazing in the main room of the house, fresh chilled shrimp, cheeses and all kind of drinks in the main room so that people can sit and enjoy the fire as they drink and eat appetizers before the meal...

My hell, they will come into the kitchen and chat away with me as I am prepping the main meal. They will cluster around a very small dining room table in the kitchen... talk with me, walk into the living room fill a plate with goodies and return to the kitchen!

In my restaurant, people will drop in to say hello. Yes, I am in the kitchen working, but some of my dearest friends will sit at the end of kitchen drinking wine, eat a meal and never leave the environment of all kinds of orders being cooked... dish washers working... salads being made as well as dessert orders... Is IT a human instinct? We love to be where the food is being made and the joy of a kitchen table? Or is it a comfort zone? I like it no matter what.

I always bake bread with certain music. You cannot make a gorgeous loaf of bread without certain elements of Bach, Beethoven, Debussy, BRAHMS, Shubert... the list is endless.

I love making bread to the music of David Lanz, Jon Serrie... The vibrations influence my hands and the fashion I kneed the dough... Once, I was kneading bread while the Prokofiev 1st piano concerto was being played by Martha Agerich... MY GOD THE BREAD WAS ENORMOUSLY FULL BLOWN... It was delicious...

When I fly to NYC every year I spend a day and night with one of my great mentors, Carol Montparker Taub.

We spend most of the time in her kitchen which is heaven on earth for me.

The perfume in the room is made of the lower tones from certain herbs, the high notes top off everything... she makes one hell ova lamb stew. Her salads always "tingle" with excitement.

She is a natural cook. She can toss things into a pan, talk to you at the same time and at the same moment release an aroma of bliss into the room that sets ones taste buds into insanity.

She cannot help it. She is a "MOTHER" a caring woman that instinctively knows how to comfort and give support to one's needs. Be it music, pain, sorrow, or the need for delicious food and comfort. I hope into the firmament I have the same gift.

I am always amazed how food, wine, tables, gardens give us beings of nature solace.

My new drying machine...

Clothes lines were a very essential part of any house hold utilities when I was a little boy.

Washing day was a big day. Then after everything went through the wringer it was hung on the line to dry in the fresh air.

In NZ the air is clean and full of sunshine.

Last week I decided to hang all the sheets out on the line after a serious machine wash and not use the dryer. They came out wonderful!

Now most days after the laundry has been washed I hang them out on the line to dry, then top them off in the dryer. Saves one hell of a lot energy and the clothing is CLEAN! Kissed by the sun, massaged by the breeze and everything smells NATURAL! NONE OF THE LITTLE PERFUME THINGS WE PUT IN DRYERS TO MAKE THINGS SMELL FRESH? Sunshine is magic.

When I was performing in Europe years ago the house keeping would hang comforters, quilts, sheets, pillows over the banisters of the balcony and let them breathe in the fresh air. A most brilliant idea. I always loved returning to my room late at night, have a cup of hot tea and then nestle into a bed full of fresh linens. Nature still rules. My clothes are clean!

Baking Bread

We all have our private methods of dealing with stress... depression, anxiety, pain... My own methods are: Meditation, music, reading, work outs, long walks, but it always comes back to a most basic art. MAKING AND BAKING BREAD!

A couple of photos of the bread I just took out of the oven. Been on the phone LD with friends in WY and suddenly I looked at the alarm on my cell! YIKES... Said a quick "I love you" hung up the phone and ran up the stairs to save the bread... It turned out perfect.

Tonight's dins will be cold sliced ham, green salad, potato salad and BREAD AND BUTTER. Temps are a little over 90 degrees F. FINALLY SUMMER RETURNED. I am NOT complaining.

You are welcome for a light meal in the garden. So, come on... everything is in balance. And the bread will make you most balanced.

2 more photos

Early mornings in this garden are most spiritual for me... I feel like those famous impressonistic painters... at times the balance between earth and the firmament makes my head spin... early morning and twilight are the best times... inbetween light and darkness.

Forgot two more photos... most important photos.

photos of the gardens at 11 Panorama Place, QT...

The wind

I am sick of the damn wind.

In my 22 years coming to NZ I do not remember such constant wind as we are experiencing!

Do not become confused by the word wind. In NZ, OZ AND GREAT BRITAIN, "WIND" IS: tummy GAS. Wind pain is like having gas pains in America. We take GAS X etc. over the counter pills for gas in America, here they take "Wind Be Gone" ... God, I wish I could fill my truck with human gas and the bugger would hum down the road... NOT, it would fart down the road. I am writing about "mother natures natural WIND!"

Yesterday I was walking into the center and so help me God, I was picked up by the wind and forced to "hang on baby" 'cause I thought at times I would be smashed into a light post or into a tree!

Wind causes my allergies to play up big time. The air is jammed with pollen, dirt, god only knows what and it finds it's way into my sinus passages and lungs.

The sound of wind drives me crazy. It is not music to my ears.

Rain without wind is heaven to my ears. Like gazillions of musical notes falling on the earth. A gentle rain can help me sleep.

I love watching rain drops tap and sigh against the windows as the notes slide into puddles and find peace within the earth.

My plants love gentle rain. It is as if they speak out, saying: "we want to take a rain bath... please!" The damn wind they hate.

The wind breaks their steams, (limbs) rips off their leaves and tears their gorgeous blossoms away from their very existence. The wind seems to be greedy.

I cannot live without mountains. They radiate a certain unexplainable energy that speaks to my very soul... but when one lives inside and around mountains one must understand inversions, and the wind currents which cleanse as well as travel through mountain ranges.

Living at the edge of the Grand Canyon of the Snake River in Wyoming I can almost set my clocks to the moments the winds will pass through the canyons... They do not last for hours, but they have a rapid tempo.

Here in Queenstown we are situated in the most gorgeous southern alps. A huge lake of ice cold water... Lake Wikatipu. Every afternoon around 4 or 5 O'clock the wind comes up then stops. This year the wind is confused. It simply blows when ever?

In the 70's I worked in Rock Springs WY. Evanston WY. and the wind was relentless. Suicides.

I mean the wind drove some people into insane depression and thus they went crazy. (Not such an amazing fact they built the State Mental Institution in Evanston Wy.)

Years ago, driving from Denver to Utah I spent three nights in Evanston because of snow drifts and endless blizzards driven by wind on the open plains. The day the sun shined I carefully drove out of pure white world.

I had a robin egg blue Volx Wagon Bug... that bug was nearly lifted off the highway many times because of wind. Thank god I used it not only as means of transportation, but a storage unit, place to sleep, eat and live inside. Small studio apartment with wheels. I kept it weighted down with STUFF. Thus it did not always shift around like other bugs.

Enough about the damn wind... it is still blowing.

I should probably go through my book case and dig out WIND IN THE WILLOWS.

I loved that book and read it every so many years. I will read it IF I am able to read without the wind grabbing it out of my two hands and giving it flight!

94 years...

The mother of my partner of nearly 30 years, turned 94 on the 25th of January 2012.

She has dementia, however can walk without a cane, she eats everything I put on her plate and is so kind. She knows the charming effects of the simple word, "THANK YOU!" She thanks everyone that helps her with any of her needs. She is nearly blind, hearing is nearly gone, but she looks fantastic and has a personality like a great actress. If I tell her someone is coming to visit and please act as if she remembers them... she pulls it off like a movie star!

I had planned a simple dinner on the patio for her celebration, but we have had all kinds of weather from 90 degrees summer heat to barely in the 40's. SNOW FOR THE 4th time this January! January 27 in NZ is like JULY 27 in the northern hemisphere. The mountains are still half way covered in white snow as I write.

For Anne's celebration I decided to take 7 of us to my favorite restaurant, "Solera vino".

a authentic French Restaurant. I met Philippe Berton, the owner in the old Body Worx gym 20 years ago. He told me he had a restaurant in town... I had dinner and never looked back!

I eat lunch at least two times a week at 'Solera vino'

I always have the same lunch. Rib eye steak cooked medium, green salad with French Dressing, and French Fries. The Fries are not like most French Fries, you can actually taste the earthy note of real potato and the top note of what it was fried in... Two glasses of Arum Pinot Noir wine, and then a strong espresso coffee. This lunch is flawless. The music and ambiance is magic.

I am fortunate to sit at the front open window, depending on the crowd. I never mind where they seat me. (there was a time I was known as a pianist in QT, now I wear BIG dark glasses, rather eccentric clothing, carry a backpack...) still, the young table attendants which are French, treat me so kindly and they KNOW I DO NOT REQUIRE A MENU...

When I am seated at my table, I can write in my journal, gaze out of the open window and watch the stream of people walking past... I love to make up stories about where they are going or coming from.

I picked the perfect place for Anne's 94Th.

Amazing beyond belief, she walked from the parking lot to the restaurant, enjoyed her Sole and rice, dinner, creme brullee then walked back to the car, chatted all the way home and we prepared her for bed. Lots of THANK YOUS!

My own mother taught me two precious words: PLEASE and THANK YOU.

Sorry, but some years in between now and when I was a little boy I forgot them? NO!

My love affair...

In New Zealand last year I purchased a wireless printer. It worked like magic!

I could down load sheet music on my computer inside my studio (which is outside of the main house.)

The printer sits in my bedroom. It chugged away and printed everything beautifully. This year? Everything seems in working order, I made it my default printer on my MacBook Pro but the printer simply refuses to work with me. SCREW IT!

I went on line searching for a place I could buy printed classical piano collections. FOUND A PLACE.

Nile.com great place. I ordered three wonderful editions of piano music.

Music I was longing to fall in love with again as well as my forever on going study of certain masterpieces which I doubt I will ever perform in this life time, however, they provide eternal exploration and adventure for my mind, body and spirit.

Last night I sat up in bed drinking a cup of green and melodic (get that, melodic!) berry tea. It is delicious. I read every night before falling asleep. In NZ this year I have been reading classics.

Last night I came to end of Wurthering Heights. God, what a convoluted love affair as well as the story takes place in a rather a dark place on earth... No problem. I slept like a dead man.

Awoke at 7 AM feeling great.

Made a pot of strong coffee... sat in the garden, meditating, ate a very light breakfast, then I took a forked tool and began loosening the soil around my amazing tomato plants and carrots, potatoes and herbs allowing the soil to breathe and absorb all the water, air, shade and most of sunlight during the day, starlight at night and love the rose bushes and pansies share with such nutritious plants.

Did the gym... I am like the book by Hemingway: "The Old Man and The Sea" only thing? I am the old man and the gym. After returning home the need for the piano became intense.

I indulged myself beyond imagination working out melodic phrases, harmonic structure of chords and hidden voices within the undercurrents of such works of art.

The new, virgin, un marked pages of musical manuscripts invited me to grab my RED PEN and begin marking places that demand my attention...

Debussy will forever haunt me. His box of multi colored tones of musical paint takes my mind to places where words do not exist. Chopin can express emotions I cannot explain and Beethoven simply reaches into the universe of eternity. The secret language of the spheres.

Experiencing any kind of creativity can eclipse the invention of "time".

After some time at the keyboard I wondered why my right shoulder was aching? Well? go figure? Walked out of my studio door into the sunshine and breathed a prayer of gratitude to the universe for giving me such a gift and the time to indulge myself with it's gorgeous influences. (when I am home in WY. I suffer guilt IF I am not working thus... I suffer)

I thank my lucky stars that I have friends that are artists of the first rank and they accept me and my quirks, limitations as well weaknesses. These angels are sculptures, painters, musicians, poets, writers, chefs, massage therapists, healers, clairvoyants, eccentrics and most of all passionate people.

I have had many love affairs in my life... (too many to write about?????)

but the one constant in my life has been my love affair with music and the written language by which we humans record it.

Horizontal lines, vertical lines, mathematics, written language... the formulas are endless. PHYSICS! I will never get over the love affair. I pray it never gets over me!!!

becoming older and older

I took a break from the gym during the holiday madness... Today I started back.

For ever 30 + years I have worked out faithfully. I believe that exercise keeps the body within a reasonable state of good health. I do know for a fact weight training can save one's emotional and spiritual being. If for no other reason it releases stress.

Years ago I would be so upset or crazy with anger I would simply lift the weights as if they were the neck of the person I wanted to choke to death.

It worked this way: most of the people are dead now because of their own actions or still alive because I took my anxiety out on IRON and MUSIC... (I should write a song Iron & Music)

I have been having inner conversations with my body and soul regarding my right leg.

I figured I needed another knee replacement! Today I changed my mind. Reason: I remember exactly the day I knelt down on my knees and it felt as though I had a thousand nails hammered into the knee cap of my left leg. I was in the QT GYM. I rolled on my side, grabbing my knee and screaming.

I was in denial, but I knew the knee was a problem. Well, today I realized it is the damn arthritis playing up in the right leg along with the sciatica joining in... my left knee never went numb... the pain in my left knee never radiated down the outside of my leg...

I had my left elbow "cleaned up" by a surgeon from Auckland about three years ago. It was pooling fluids and the pain... well, I had many, many injections of Cortisone in that elbow for years.

The drug killed the triceps muscle's. Every time I would go for advice in the states they avoided the issue and I know why: FOR FEAR THAT I WOULD LOOSE MY ABILITY TO PLAY PIANO... Well, I proved that theory wrong.

The surgeon from Auckland cleaned out all the "CRAP" from the arthritis and scar tissue. He told me I would play the piano fine... I would not be able to PRO NATE my left arm... like press it against a wall etc. He was 100% spot on. To this day I am pain free in that elbow. I am slowly re birthing my triceps muscle. I am finally able to straighten the arm out in front of me.

I wear long sleeved shirts because IF I DON'T people stare at me. My right arm is a well built arm. My left arm is tooth pick. It is growing. I still love my Left Arm, Hand and it is coming right!

Years and years ago... I recall older people telling telling me: "YOUR DAY WILL COME!"

Hell, they were right! I have known people that live on vegetarian diets, high protein diets, exercise... pray, meditate, live the WORD OF WISDOM to the MAX and still fall apart. I think death must be a very big part of our learning process and many of us no longer can accept the fact we will grow old and die! YIKES. ('cause nobody knows what death is unless they experience it... just like birth... do you remember the moment of your birth??? possibly death is a birth????)

Now I am over so many issues. I really do not care about a lot of "STUFF" that ruled my life for 40 years.

I am over mountains of GUILT, FEAR and LOATHING. I work hard. But when I am on holiday as now... well, I sleep when I want and I get up when I want... (Peter Pan?) I eat what I want and I walk where I want... I read all kinds of books, eat foods that my body tells me it needs and most of all I love.

I love my past even though it is no longer a part of my present life. I love people that are no longer with me in physical bodies, but forever with me in my heart and the spirit of love.

Possibly becoming older is a gift that only certain people ever enjoy. I live with a 94 year old woman that was a power beyond words years ago. She now suffers dementia beyond belief.

I wonder if it is Karmic or simply science?

OH BTW, SOPHIA RAN OFF. She is with her baby kittens. Story of my life: THEY RUN AWAY FROM ME...