Friday, March 31, 2006

APRIL FOOLS???

Preludes & Fugues

Who in the hell INVENTED APRIL FOOLS? Doesn't really matter. Would be a nice thing to have Washington DC tell us that IRAQ was only an April Fool's JOKE!
OR that so many of the PROBLEMS in the world of 2006 are just another April Fool's JOKE.
But, I fear that is not the case! ONE THING IS FOR SURE, most of the problems we are dealing with are "man made" out of a democratic, capitalistic, gone insane world of politics, dogmas and hate for each other!

Many times I have thought we are only an "EXTRA TERRESTRIAL" experiment. We are honestly not made for living on planet earth. Our skin, this 'space suit' we live in, is too thin, our immune systems cannot handle the many viruses and diseases, our emotions and chemical balances are not made for the environment we live in. YET, so many of the environmental and physical problems we are dealing with are created by non other than the society of human beings we have become. However, I still find life is full of wonder and beauty and regardless of all the demons of evil and destruction, people are falling in love, enjoying healthy food, traveling, aware of more knowledge and truth than ever in the history of the world and most all I am at a place in my life where I sense a quiet, patient state of peace. (There used to be a undefinable emotion of anger and fear percolating secretly within everything I thought regarding politics, religion and institutions.) This peace of mind I refer to comes with knowing you have survived ever so many impossible events and situations in your life. Just gotta live long enough to acknowledge the fact!

Read this quote this morning in the news:
"Senator when you took your oath of office you placed your hand on the Bible and swore to uphold the CONSTITUTION. You didn't place your hand on the CONSTITUTION and swear to uphold the BIBLE!"
Maryland state Senator candidate James Raskin, testifying March 1, 2006 at a legislative hearing on a proposed marriage discrimination amendment, answering State Senator Nancy Jacob's question about whether "God's Law" forbids "Same-sex Marriage.

Most marriages are a "FARCE" in that they end up in divorce and do prove WORDS that are made into VOWS and COVENANTS do not hold any divine power! I have family members and friends that have been divorced three and more times and have made children by each union, so what is the problem with POLYGAMY? Hell, they have had children by many different wives and women, yet hate polygamy and refuse to live by the power of LOVE and ATTRACTION without a marriage certificate even after that damned certificate has cost them dearly in every way.

God, I do love to rant about this MARRIAGE thing because of my Mormon upbringing, we were taught not to discuss POLYGAMY, and yet the first five prophets of the church and the FOUNDER were all big time multiple partner men. I know! there should be a law that all marriages must be performed on APRIL FOOLS DAY! YES! That way there are no divorces and ugly dramas cause there was not really a binding contract called MIRAGE oops, Marriage!
(I wouldn't be here without a few of those dogmatic Polygamists!)

Just remember: Catch a falling star and put it in your pocket, save it for a rainy day!

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Opening the Chakras...

Preludes & Fugues

My dreams did not reveal any earth shaking knowledge regarding why I have a sever blockage in the throat chakra and the sacral chakra. I meditated on it at great length and bits of a "nightmare collage" began shaping within my heart and mind.

I was bullied unmercifully as a child. Grade school was not a joy, it was a dreaded event every day of the school year I was constantly looking out for my physical safety. Waiting for the school bus was a bad enough ordeal trying to avoid a bully named Jimmy Todd. He would rub hard on your skin until you suffered a flesh burn. In the third grade I was beat up by two boys in my class, Keith Cox and Brent Poll. Both know what they did to me. I had never had the wind knocked out of my guts until then. My stomach was beaten black and blue. I avoided them both everyday of my entire school experience, even through high school.
Boy Scouts was even worse. Older boys punching me, calling me a sissy and some actually harming me. They were fat, ugly guys, James Summers, Rudy Fuit, and a few others. Forever, tripping, hitting, slugging, pinching, saying horrible things in my ears and slugging me in the guts and head.
One Easter, my mother made my favorite sandwiches, which were tuna fish, chips and cookies and colored easter eggs for a Easter Picnic with Donny Child who lived on a farm about half a mile from our house. This bully, stomped my box lunch into the ground then picked it up and threw it in the irrigation ditch. I COULD NOT FIGHT BACK! I DID NOT KNOW HOW TO BEAT A PERSON UP.

By the time I was in High School my music was my "life raft" amid a million things that were driving me crazy. By then I had isolated myself from most of my classmates, except for the necessary social events that one must do to graduate. Then came a draft notice. The story goes on, but the point I am trying to make is: I HAVE BLOCKED AND HELD THE PAIN OF THOSE FIRST 12 years of my LIFE SO DEEPLY INSIDE EVERY CELL OF MY PHYSICAL AND SPIRITUAL BEING THAT IT IS NOW all these years later able to be let go of and hopefully peace, health, love and light will fill the void releasing them will create. Of course the SACREL was blocked. It is a most sacred chakra and the throat, I COULD NOT SPEAK out loud about any of this to anyone for so many many many years. The tightness in my pelvic and neck areas is already relaxed as I write. Wheeee, what a healing blog for me!

I FORGIVE ALL OF YOU BULLIES for the hateful things you have done to my life, but I achieved many things because of your actions and I have STEPPED UP to the situation when ever I have witnessed a child being bullied or made fun of. The saddest part of this is, the years I felt inferior, insecure and afraid which are all very negative energy and because of the childhood bulling I did not do well in school and did not achieve all that I could have musically. I felt UNWORTHY and NOT AS GOOD AS OTHER MEN!

To every person whose name I have written within this blog and to those whose names I cannot recall I BELIEVE IN KARMA WITH ALL OF MY HEART AND I KNOW YOU HAVE HAD YOUR KARMIC WHEELS SPINNING THE PAST 53 YEARS. I don't want you in my life any longer.
I know some of you are dead. Some of you are not dead. I was dead for years thanks to you. I now live free of your fear and hate because I know I was a mirror of what you really saw and hated within your own selves. I forgive.

Monday, March 27, 2006

My session in Reflexology today

Preludes & Fugues
MY SESSION WITH REFLEXOLOGY TODAY was amazing, alarming and yet so comforting. I love my therapist. Anna is a truly beautiful being and has such healing hands. Her work area is a very sacred space. Everything is perfect. The music, lighting and the table is very comfortable.
I am totally relaxed and "into it" when Anna says,
"Have you been sad? I sense an overwhelming sadness and there is a presence in this room for the second time..."
I have been very depressed the past few days. Not clinically suicidal but not full of energy and joy. I told her that yes, I had been down his week. She asked, If I had any relationship issues that needed to be forgiven and then out of the blue said,
"Have you ever known anyone that died of AIDS?"
OMG, my head was spinning, my heart began to race and I opened up and told her things I have never ever revealed to another person.
Such as: My HONEST OPINION of just what the AIDS epidemic is and YES, the anger and frustration I have denied over many years regarding the needless deaths of some brilliant, talented, loving men that have had and still do have a great influence on my life.
As we talked and she worked my trigger points, many things seemed to dissolve into an open space where freedom and love were the most important emotions.
At the end of the session I felt "comfortable" with a lot of issues.

Tonight I have asked myself over and over WHO? WHAT? WHEN? WHERE? what IS this feeling of morose sadness I have been carrying inside my heart the past few days... TONIGHT MY DREAMS WILL REVEAL IT TO ME. Better check in tomorrow for the rest of the tale. I am a Scorpio and the Sting is in the Tale!

Friday, March 24, 2006

Preludes & Fugues

Preludes & Fugues
DEBUSSY ALWAYS ON MY MIND...
When I was a little boy my parents purchased a child's record player. By today's standards it was "PRE-WHEEL" in sound quality but the human ear has the ability to FILL IN THE BLANKS at times. So, to a 6 year old boy that loved music, the sounds were celestial offerings, pure magic!

Two pieces that simply stunned me were: REVERIE and CLAIR DE LUNE by Debussy. From a 6 year old to a now almost 60 year old I still thrill and love the sensuous melodies, harmony and musical architecture of these two piano solos.

I have a well worn Durand & Co. edition of the PRELUDES I purchased in 1962! I've scribbled my name on the front page and from the penmanship I am a different man now than I was at 15! The pages are fragile and brown like toast as I tenderly turn the pages and see wild circles around passages, notes with check marks above them, small "mental notes" scribbled over measures that were reminders of HOW to PLAY this phrase...fingerings and dynamic markings.

Debussy did not give formal titles to each Prelude He wrote the "IDEA or IMPRESSION" in parenthesis at the end of the piece. (..."Les sons et les parfums tournent dans l'air du soir") and (...La Cathedrale engloutie) Twelve haunting miniature paintings using every key on the piano as if it were a pallet of colors in a paint box. A quote from Debussy: " MUSIC IS THE EXPRESSION OF THE MOVEMENT OF WATERS, THE PLAY OF CURVES DESCRIBED BY CHANGING BREEZES. HE WHO FEELS WHAT HE SEES WILL FIND NO MORE BEAUTIFUL EXAMPLE OF DEVELOPMENT IN THE BOOK WHICH, ALAS, MUSICIANS READ BUT TOO LITTLE: THE BOOK OF NATURE..."

The French have an expression: laisser l'esprit vaguer...meaning: To let the spirit wander...
Since 1986 I have made a journey to NYC to study with a master teacher of piano. Such a glorious event for me. Because of my work in the summer I do not have the time to practice two and three hours a day, but never the less the knowledge and lessons I learn from every breath I take on these trips is worthy of a great essay in the adventure or one's pursuit in expanding talents and dreams. I was working on a lecture/recital a couple of years ago and in cleaning my music cabinet came across some notes Carol Montparker had made for me during my time with her and in her wonderful home/studio in Huntington NY.
THE REVERIE: "This belongs to you! It is yours! Touchingly beautiful!"
GOD, what a blessing on my musical head! (some of the rest of these notes are rather severe, like: FIRST BAR!!!! MONITOR YOURSELF TO AVOID EVER SOUNDING HARSH OR STRIDENT, Even if "fff" bars are marked..." Carol is a genius when it comes to "touching" the inner musician in all of us.
I must play this program right now. Every time I play the Preludes I discover new and touching pathos of emotion and light.

Carol site is: www://montparker.com/ Or do a google search. I'm spending the evening at the keyboard with Debussy.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Preludes & Fugues

Preludes & Fugues
DOES JESUS LOVE ONLY RED STATES?
I do wonder what these people in "RED STATES" must really think when it comes to the storms that have targeted their areas and killed many innocent people? I would think that God and Jesus would have drawn a 'orb of protection' around these states and the people that live and support the war in Iraq as well as every thing the GOP says and does. BUT APPARENTLY NOT SO! The French Quarter of New Orleans was spared and yet it is really where most of the prostitution and "dark sided" axis of evil, exist. These storms do not segregate those that are "saved" from their sins from those that are child molesters to out right murderers. Florida has been hit by some really horrible storms, and the mid west...hummmmm? Could it be JESUS IS TELLING THESE JERRY FAWELLS and PAT ROBERTSON followers a thing or two? Like possibly these states have made God and Jesus very UNHAPPY! Huh?!@#$E*%R!
I don't understand why the GOP didn't buy Iraq, like purchasing a piece of Real Estate and then Halliburton would have access to all it's oil and I am sure something could have been arranged with Saddam so that he could remain in power, keep a balance within the region and make even more money than he already had. Plus the kick backs would have been phenomenal. BUT, then the guys that make money manufacturing utensils for war, rockets, guns, humvees they might not get the promises made to them for campaign donations.
In my life time I have endured some horrible Administrations. LBJ! Now, what the fuck was that all about? Nixon was insane, and then the FORDS! OMG, that was free entertainment every day and night. Viet Nam was a nightmare, then the WAR ON POVERTY, THE WAR ON DRUGS, THE WARS AGAINST anything that distracted the minds of most Americans as to what was really going on in Washington D.C. Did heterosexuals actually BELIEVE, especially after they have accepted Jesus Christ as their personal savior, the GAYS would destroy the SANCTITY OF MARRIAGE????? Bill Clinton's blow job was worse than killing innocent children in the attack in Iraq? Christians amaze me. A few years ago I had a very religious friend tell me she could not eat in my restaurant because alcohol was sold. WHAT? I would think that with all the protection of the Holy Ghost and God's shield of love and protection from Satan, these people could walk through any fearful situation unscathed! NOT SO! Seems some of them want to kill and live in fear of everything that breathes for fear it may destroy their testimony and faith in what? They kill because they really want to kill the dogmas they blindly believe in. A jealous GOD? A God that had Abraham offer his only son as a sacrifice to prove Abraham's love to GOD!!! True Christians would have "turned the other cheek" and openly forgave the Saudis and Afghanis that attack the WTC. Alas!
Dear God, I feel good. Love and light! B.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Preludes & Fugues

Preludes & Fugues
THE HEALING HANDS OF REFLEXOLOGY & MASSAGE!
I love being touched. I grew up in a household that believed in the power of "THE
LAYING ON OF HANDS" to heal about everything from a scratch to tumors full of cancer.
My body has been a JOY to live in until I turned 55. All kinds of mysterious things began
surfacing. Arthritis in my hands. YIKES! I am a pianist. Enlargement of the prostate gland.
Bladder infections? Sinus blockage? VISION CHANGED to blur when reading and things
began showing up on my skin...lines, spots, bumps, dry patches and hair sprouting
in places I NEVER HAD HAIR!
I've worked my way around a lot of this "late-mid-life-drama" but recently discovered some-
things that has literally changed my life: REFLEXOLOGY. This was better than paying some
fortune teller to tell and read my future. As Anna massaged and pressed on my feet she
asked questions like, "your blocked in your prostate area." okay..... "Your sinus are blocked."
Okay..... "Your right leg bothers you, the knee." Well, this goes on and I am moaning and
grunting out acknowledgments of how right she is. Well, 4 sessions later and my pelvic
area is not in pain. Bladder is functioning perfectly and the sinus are cleared. IF nothing
else works this magic touch does.
I also believe in the healing powers of massage. I have a wonderful masseuse. She can find
trigger points faster than lightening and then apply just the right pressure as to OPEN the
KNOT that binds. I discovered a great massage therapist a couple of years ago in Boise Idaho
when I was performing a concert and master class. He introduced me to the THERA CANE.
Massage and Reflexology go hand in hand, (no pun intended.) but there is one thing I've
learned about reflexology, take time after a session to "ground" yourself. I am often out
there with the fairies for about an hour after treatment. (I actually have spent a lot of my
life out there with the the fairies!)
The clouds have drawn a gray curtain across the mountains and tiny crystals of water are
floating in the air outside. signs of winter everywhere. Meaning SPRING TIME IN THE
ROCKIES! Good day for drinking strong coffee and reading that book I just can't seem to
get into. Cherio.

From New Zealand

I am a blest man. Live, play and work 8 months a year in the heart of the Rocky Mountains. Live and play 4 months a year in the Southern Hemisphere, Queenstown, New Zealand. Been coming to New Zealand for 16 years. next year will be 17 years!
Have watched New Zealand evolve from a very small socialistic country into a very capitalistic open society and I must say I like it very much. My great great grandfather came to New Zealand on a Mormon Mission before 1900!!!! God, possibly I have relatives all over the place, after all Mormon's did practice POLYGAMY and the Maori women and men are attractive people. From my piano studio window I see a view that rivals any view on this planet! Lake Wakitipu and the majestic mountains that surround its shores. Lord of the Rings was filmed here.
I arrive in country on January 28 and leave April 28 of each year. Each year I set goals that I hope to achieve during my time of bliss and self-discovery here in NZ. I have almost 6 weeks left to loose some of the "muffin top" around my stomach, finish composing two new songs and polish two Beethoven Sonatas for performance as well as finish reading about 20 new books I had sent down!
I must step outside and throw a kiss to the moon and stars before I head to bed. One thing that is a marvelous gift from "down under" is the SOUTHERN CROSS! We cannot see it in the northern heavens!
Love and Light, Brenthoven