Monday, November 24, 2008

off line for a while...

I am on the mend. Every day I seem to be able to do more than the day before. Most of all I can play piano. In my
60's I HATE PERFORMING at the piano, but I LOVE PLAYING the piano. I am able to cook dinner every night and today I drove to Thayne Wyoming, did grocery shopping, post office business and some banking, so I am out and about.

Tomorrow late afternoon we will close the house for the season and fill the pick up full of luggage and things to take to Utah as well as New Zealand. Spend Thanksgiving with my parents and fly out the next afternoon. November 28. Fly from SLC to LAX and from LAX to Auckland New Zealand which is about a 12 hour flight. Then go through customs and catch another flight to Queenstown, which is on the South Island.

I will be back on line by the first week in December. It has been a difficult 8 months, but I feel confident everything will begin looking up. I remember years ago when I was in my late 20's and early 30's I suffered some horrific problems, but after much consternation and grief I moved on past the demons and depression stepping into a different light. Hopefully I will do the same in the coming weeks and months.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The bend in the road

We closed the Nordic Inn the last Sunday night in September. I was totally exhausted. Usually I am elated and over the moon with happiness knowing what lays ahead. NYC, piano lessons with my two mentors, concerts at Carnegie Hall and long walks through Central Park, hours in the Metropolitan Museum of Art and the Moma. Time alone in a city that never sleeps! I had reservations at the Wellington Hotel, behind Carnegie Hall, my plane tickets and dates and times for performance classes and tickets to certain concerts I wanted to attend. I cancelled the trip due to health problems.

I could not muster the strength to practice piano and I had gone from a 175-185 pound man to 140 pounds in less than two months! After much begging from friends and loved ones I made an appointment with a fine surgeon/MD in Jackson Hole. I had a bad hernia that needed to be FIXED! After my consultations with the surgeon he immediately had a slew of tests arranged the next day. Blood, X-rays, then upper and lower GI tests, more X-rays and at the last moment he decided I needed a CAT-SCAN. I was worn out after a full morning and afternoon in the hospital. They would call me as soon as the results were in.

I have been having LORDEX treatments on my spine and they worked like magic! I had finished a treatment and was climbing into my pick up when my cell phone began ringing. It was the Doctor. He was in Idaho Falls on business but felt he must call me ASAP to inform me I had a very serious tumor growning on the lower part of my left kidney. He said that is had to be looked into immediately! I told him to please find a specialist in the area and set an appointment for me. Two days later I was set up for surgery. I was full of E-Coli Bacteria, so we had to delay the surgery and I started on a course of strong antibiotics.

I entered the hospital on November 5th around 11 AM. The pre-op work had been done the day before and so it was a matter of getting out of my clothes and into the smart looking hospital gown... meet the anatheseist and the nurse was an angel explaining all the things that were going to take place. At 2:15 PM I was given a shot in the IV they had placed in the wrist of my left hand. It seemed we were flying into the operating room. I do recall the lights and people inside the room. I would have two surgeons assisting each other. One removing the tumor and the other repairing the hernia. 3 1/2 hours later I was in recovery... The hernia was a mess. It was a Pantaloon Hernia. One hernia is coming out, the other is going in... I have three incisions. One below the navel, one on each side of the navel. The tumor on the kidney was the size of a large lemon.
It was cancer. They removed 1/3 of my left kidney and the entire tumor. Because of the size of the tumor I will have more tests the first part of February when I am in New Zealand.

Of course I felt no pain the first night and next morning. I had a epidermal and drip in my back, drips with antibiotics, morphine, my food and a catheter. Could not really move, eat or drink fluids but I had no pain. Day three they took out the catheter, the epidermal and some of the IV drips. By 3:00 PM I was praying that I would see THE PROVERBIAL LIGHT! THERE WAS NO LIGHT! I was crying, my lungs were full of fluid and the pain was unexplainable.

The pain was a number 10 on a scale of one to ten. I had four nurses helping me and my surgeon was called in. They gave me a strong anti inflammatory through he IV and a different pain medicine. It took a good two hours before I passed through the BEND IN THE ROAD. I must say, that is one time in my life I honestly prayed to die.

I have a 10 inch cut on the left side of my back that comes around my hip and under the rib cage. It is swollen but, the pain is under control. I am home, reading, resting, playing piano, writing and taking gentle walks into the woods. I am cooking meals and baking fantastic chololate chip cookies as well as yummy Oatmeal cookies. (Trying to put on some weight!) Yesterday I drove the pick up to the Post Office and local grocery store. I am regaining my strength and my weight is up to 150 pounds!

A week ago I walked out of the hospital. Today Michael drove me up to see the Doctors. I have the okay for my trip to New Zealand. Have to be careful for the next 6 weeks. Can't lift much or do anything strenuous. BUT, I will be able to fly the long flight from LAX to Auckland. It will be early spring when I arrive in Queenstown. I have 5 blessed months to heal.

Hopefully they captured all the cancer. They removed a cancerous polyp from my colon during the lower GI tests. When they told me I had cancer I never dreamed it would be in the kidney! I thought bladder, lungs, stomach BRAIN? but not the kidney.
Now, here is the interesting part. 8 months ago, my dear friend Belva Bloomer analyzed my saliva before and after my knee surgery in NZ. She told me that my left kidney was only functioning at about 30%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I have lived in an amazing body. The nurses in the hospital could not believe that I am 62 years old and this is the first time I have had any serious surgery except for my knee replacement! I have my own teeth, good hearing and sight and most of all friends that love me and a wonderful extended family I adore.

Will write more later... but at least I made it around the bend in the road! I have an entire belief about why and how my kidney became the host for the cancer... I may write about it and I may not. Spirit will guide me.

I've missed writing my blog for so long and once again it will become a way for relase and healing.