ENSEMBLE
An "ensemble" is when a group of musicians, dancers or actors come together in concert. It could also mean "assemble"? Bringing together people that will make something beautiful, good, possibly something so very devastating it could destroy the universe! I believe that "ensemble work" is a major learning experiences for any pianist. Why? Because, pianists are truly solo musicians. They have an entire galaxy of sound at their finger tips. Pianists also suffer incredible doubts, fears and ego problems that many times can isolate them from other musicians. Accompanists MUST give and take, share kindness that enhances one purpose: MUSIC! Many parts becoming one and the one being many parts that are separate yet all in one.
In the late 60's I was asked to be the pianist for a Musical Review called "HIGH FEVER FOLLIES". It was a community fund raising project that would create an "ensemble" of local people who within a short time frame of about two weeks would produce a variety show of comedy, dancing, singing backed by a small orchestra for the performance. The sponsor of the production was an Auxiliary from the Saint Benedict's Hospital. They were women who belonged to most local clubs, Junior League, MacDowell Society, Literary Club, The Symphony Guild... People who's names and faces you would see and read about in the "SOCIETY" section of the Sunday edition of the daily newspaper.
Cargill Productions was a theatrical company in NYC. They hired out a "package" a show with director, costumes, musical scores most everything that a fund raising organization could use to make money by producing a show from local talent.
I signed the contract. I would be the rehearsal pianist, which translated into many long hours at the piano of which I did not mind. Little did I know that out of this experience I would meet some of the most lasting and meaningful friends, love affairs and learning paradigms that would last through out my life time.
The person that asked me "if" there was a possibility I would take on the job was a lovely woman but, I sensed some kind of desperation within her energy. She was possibly 10 years older than me. She told me she had four children, loved music. She was a Catholic and had worked with various charity organization within the community.
She had dark auburn hair, a very athletic body. I could tell by her mannerisms and speech She was most definitely not born or raised in the state of Utah.
Previous to my meeting with her, I had seen her at a Utah Symphony Concert. The night of that concert she wore a long gown of dark greens and blacks accented with silver jewelry. (NO GOLD?)
During the intermission she stepped outside to smoke a cigarette. I being a smoker observed the way she held her cigarette. She radiated perfect health and her fingernails were not painted. They were hands that do things... possibly play piano, garden, cook... Little did I know that months later she would meet me in the parking lot of the local College and ask me to work with her in the Follies. This meeting was the embryo of a friendship that would last from that day into my forever. This woman became a guardian angel in my personal as well as musical life.
Most of the musicians were people I knew or had heard of... We had enough instrumentalists , but we were desperate for a drummer. I called the music department at the College. There was a young man who had been made the head of the "Percussion Dept." REALLY? Never heard of such a department at Weber State College... I called him. Yes, he would come to a rehearsal and see if the times, dates and most of all, the pay worked within his hectic schedule.
The "Percussionist" arrived at rehearsal. A gorgeous man. Dark wavy hair,
mustache that matched the hair on his head. Glasses, and beautiful hands. Soft shiny dark hair on the tops of his fingers and furry arms. Could I possibly have know this man in another lifetime?
He moved his drums into the orchestra pit. He set up behind the grand piano on my left hand side. He asked if the piano could be turned slightly so he could see my hands. The first time he made a cymbal crash I felt the heat of a 1000 shards of sweet painful glass explode through my veins. He did not read the sloppy scores, he WATCHED my every move at the key board and anticipated the movements of my body, hands and mind in perfect sync.
He was a walking, breathing, talking symphony orchestra. My musical life had found a soul mate.
I discovered years ago, when I was 5 years old, That to be 'adored' would become one of the most addictive drugs I could have ever imagined. It was a craving far more potent than alcohol or pot would ever become in my lifetime.
In 1968 my picture was everywhere because of a musical review wherein I was the featured pianist. When I would walk down State Street in SLC people looked at me. They smiled at me. I would glance and see them whispering.
For some unexplainable reason I thought I had "star quality"... The drug of being ADORED soared through every vessel of my body.
Drummer Boy and I became very close friends. We used to have dinner at an Italian restaurant where they served beer. I hate beer. I loved Vodka. He drank beer, I drank coffee while eating pizza. I watched every move he made. The way he held a can of beer. The way he leaned over the table as he talked while holding a fork in his hand. The way he would lean his head back and laugh...
He told me stories about his life. He witnessed his father die of a heart attack when Drummer Boy was like 5 years old. He was raised by his grandparents. He had a voice that was between a baritone and a tenor... His voice was recorded into the canyons of my mind where voices are imprinted forever... the voices that echo deep within your DNA and you never forget. he loved cats... he would confide in me events that had occurred through out his day being a young college professor. I'd listen, but my mind would be all over the place thinking: how I could MAKE this MAN WANT ME! I need this certain "FIX"!
I had never experienced a PERCUSSION RECITAL. He was presenting a FACULTY RECITAL. He asked IF I wanted to accompany the last half of the recital because it would feature his skill playing Xylophone and required piano accompaniment. I attempted learning the music, but I declined. In part, because I simply could not discipline myself to learn the music and I felt that the new woman who had been given the position as HEAD OF THE PIANO DEPT. should be the one playing this concert. I thought over and over: "How will such a musical recital be received by people that honestly did not understand percussive sounds or how they were set into motion.
In the 70's and 80's anyone that knew me had to know my Land Lady. She had the telephone. She screened my calls and when I was gone for weeks at a time took care of my check book. She was my secretary, PR representative and protector! She adored Drummer Boy!
The night of the concert was magic. The Theater was filled with musicians as well as artists, dancers and people from the drama department.
The stage props were drums, gongs, bells and more chimes and drums. A maze of brass, silver, glinted slants of light reflecting from surfaces, like flesh, waiting to be touched, struck against, brushed... set into motion. The lights dimmed. He walked onto the stage looking amazingly handsome and confident. Two energies all men seek and envy. He was in his 'element', he knew the secret of being 'adored'... being the creator of something magical gave him complete power: star quality. At times I have compared performers of music to Porno Stars... They are beautiful men and women, but have something other people do not possess: A MAGNIFICENT INSTRUMENT that can amaze and give life to the imagination... fantasy made reality.
He moved like a classically trained ballet dancer yet something so mystically balanced between heaven and earth gave flight to his every breath. Reaching, bending, sliding, stepping, arms conducting like an eagle in flight. It was a sensuous dance from some place beyond words. Every person in the audience felt it, swam in it's transparent star waters... One did not "LISTEN" they BECAME PART OF THE MOMENT! Forever, one must remember: There are no ordinary moments. The sound unlocked hidden ideas, thoughts, the stuff angels and cherub's silken midnight sperms are made of!
Xylophone and piano were gorgeous. The Fantasie Impromptu by Chopin being one of my favorite expressions in sound. The Saber Dance by Khathuturian was dynamic. This arm of the program was reaching out to the the heart's of many people in the audience who did not understand or care to listen to the cacophony of sounds that the percussive instruments breathed life into and touched the hidden secrets of their DNA. The Xylophone and piano gave peace and rest to those that dared not go where angels never tread.
The piano and Xylophone were bliss to my heart and soul. Piano was the silver sound that I had felt and touched with my heart and soul from my infancy and hopefully to the end of my mortal life.
The event came to an end. People stood, they talked, they moved... My Land lady and I sat... I like entrances. I would know when the time was right for us to walk on the stage and embrace the artist. From that moment on into eternity he belonged to my "Private Club". He was one of my celestial siblings.
Many people have walked in and out of my life for decades. Some still sing their songs to me in dreams. At times when I am walking or meditating I hear their voices. I know they live within my heart.
Drummer Man played percussion on my first LP recording. It was a great success.
After 1979 I suffered some very difficult times economically as well as mentally. In 1980 I began a journey on a spiritual path that to this very day I am still pursuing. Many of my closest friends died in the 70's and 80's. I became a recluse. I suffered unexplainable depression. I disappeared in numerous bottles of Vodka... I drifted "in and out" of reality.
Drummer Boy moved. He was out of my life and living on a different stage. Eventually I moved. Different lighting, different make up and different theater.
I decided to make a new recording. I called him asking IF there was a possibility he would share his magic in the creation of this musical endeavor. He said YES!
I had composed a piece of music in three parts. "The Other Side Of Time". I dedicated it to a person I love with all my heart. Everything fell into place except this original piece.
I laid down the piano and string lines before leaving the piece for the engineer to perform a re-mix. Anything to make it sound musical.
Unknown to me,Drummer Boy returned to the studio on his own accord and completely orchestrated "The Other Side of Time"... He literally married my piano to a cosmic pulse that finalized the composition's final breath onto cellophane! Cassette tape.
I learned a most delicate and fragile lesson from that recording.
Love is given in many different ways and Drummer Boy gave me the greatest expression of his sincerest love: HE MADE ME SOUND FABULOUS! There is no greater love... especially for someone that has to be adored.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
Full Moon... Summer...
The fullness, the abundance and energy of moon light was divine. Last night marked the 1st full moon of 2009, but when the moon is FULL, BRIGHT, ROUND AS A PERIL OUT OF HEAVEN'S OCEAN I really don't count day by day the degrees that it is blossoming or decreasing in size... main thing: It is the same moon that has been there for eons.
I know all the people I have loved and never met in the flesh gazed on that same moon! I know many people that have crossed over in my lifetime and they too exchanged light and energy with the moon!
January 2009 has proven to be a magical year so far. One thing I do appreciate is my I Pod. I also use I tunes every night and day.
I listen to Classical music on a station that comes out of Laramie Wyoming! I cannot receive a tight connection with this PBS station when I AM IN WYOMING! but, here at the bottom of planet earth I have PERFECT RECEPTION. It is a wonderful station.
KYUW Classical 91. So, I have a part of Wyoming inside my ears most of the time!
Speaking of the moon, one has to be humbled thinking that in 1604 Galileo observed for the first time, the heaven's through a telescope!
Just think what he would see today! The International Space Station! The Hubble telescope... the Mar's Rover, just think only 400 years ago the Catholic Church tried to BURN Galileo because of the things he was seeing with his telescope. At last, most people are finally accepting WHERE WE LIVE WITHIN THE UNIVERSE, THE MILKY WAY!
Finished an interesting book last night. "Running With Scissors", by Augsten Burroughs. I have always been suspicious of psychiatrists. I have known a few in my lifetime and the results have been frightening. Not adding the medications, endless hours of talking and the Doctor does not banter back and forth in the conversations... HE LISTENS! The book is worth a read because of the humor as well as the tragic subject matter that created Augsten's childhood.
I am so pleased to be able to walk down the steep paths into the village and then walk UP the steep paths that lead to our house. For two years I have had a hell of time walking because of pain... well, today I went to Simon the Physio therapist. He is from England. Young and beautiful. He has stretched my legs and relaxed the stress inside my lower back to the place it was before I had the kidney removed! The Laying on of Hands. My masseuse, Sonja, has healing powers and almost every Thursday she kneads my gnarly body until it is pliant as bread dough.
I am living a life of bliss. I get up when I want and I go to bed when I want. I work in the gardens, then lay down in the sunlight. I bake bread, I create meals, I play my piano, I take long hot baths in Epsom salts and I am feeling like myself once again. OMG, I will probably explode into one of those obese, eccentric queens that wear long gowns and have sea shell glass frames... lots of grease on their faces and droopy eye lids... NOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo!
2008 was a rough year. Lots of LESSONS that had to be learned or put aside until another lifetime. The numbers 2 and 9 are powerful numbers which are in the equation 2009 and they = 11= a MASTER NUMBER!
We have a new President in the United States... He might end up being the same thing with a different mask? We are entering a new paradigm shift spiritually and the entire planet is moving into a slower hotter vibration! NICE!
I love re watching movies that I have loved for years, so tonight will be a "Let's see, what do I want to watch?" or, possibly just meditate, or forget it, put on the I Pod, grab the book I have been reading for months, "The Confessions" by Jean-Jacques Rousseau. Read until the ear buds fall out of my ears and the book falls to the side of the bed!
Summer is heaven on earth! I take nothing for granted. End of May I will be working 14 hours a day into the night... 7 days and nights a week! I never feel guilt during these 5 months! I HAVE EARNED EVERY RESTFUL MOMENT!
I know all the people I have loved and never met in the flesh gazed on that same moon! I know many people that have crossed over in my lifetime and they too exchanged light and energy with the moon!
January 2009 has proven to be a magical year so far. One thing I do appreciate is my I Pod. I also use I tunes every night and day.
I listen to Classical music on a station that comes out of Laramie Wyoming! I cannot receive a tight connection with this PBS station when I AM IN WYOMING! but, here at the bottom of planet earth I have PERFECT RECEPTION. It is a wonderful station.
KYUW Classical 91. So, I have a part of Wyoming inside my ears most of the time!
Speaking of the moon, one has to be humbled thinking that in 1604 Galileo observed for the first time, the heaven's through a telescope!
Just think what he would see today! The International Space Station! The Hubble telescope... the Mar's Rover, just think only 400 years ago the Catholic Church tried to BURN Galileo because of the things he was seeing with his telescope. At last, most people are finally accepting WHERE WE LIVE WITHIN THE UNIVERSE, THE MILKY WAY!
Finished an interesting book last night. "Running With Scissors", by Augsten Burroughs. I have always been suspicious of psychiatrists. I have known a few in my lifetime and the results have been frightening. Not adding the medications, endless hours of talking and the Doctor does not banter back and forth in the conversations... HE LISTENS! The book is worth a read because of the humor as well as the tragic subject matter that created Augsten's childhood.
I am so pleased to be able to walk down the steep paths into the village and then walk UP the steep paths that lead to our house. For two years I have had a hell of time walking because of pain... well, today I went to Simon the Physio therapist. He is from England. Young and beautiful. He has stretched my legs and relaxed the stress inside my lower back to the place it was before I had the kidney removed! The Laying on of Hands. My masseuse, Sonja, has healing powers and almost every Thursday she kneads my gnarly body until it is pliant as bread dough.
I am living a life of bliss. I get up when I want and I go to bed when I want. I work in the gardens, then lay down in the sunlight. I bake bread, I create meals, I play my piano, I take long hot baths in Epsom salts and I am feeling like myself once again. OMG, I will probably explode into one of those obese, eccentric queens that wear long gowns and have sea shell glass frames... lots of grease on their faces and droopy eye lids... NOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo!
2008 was a rough year. Lots of LESSONS that had to be learned or put aside until another lifetime. The numbers 2 and 9 are powerful numbers which are in the equation 2009 and they = 11= a MASTER NUMBER!
We have a new President in the United States... He might end up being the same thing with a different mask? We are entering a new paradigm shift spiritually and the entire planet is moving into a slower hotter vibration! NICE!
I love re watching movies that I have loved for years, so tonight will be a "Let's see, what do I want to watch?" or, possibly just meditate, or forget it, put on the I Pod, grab the book I have been reading for months, "The Confessions" by Jean-Jacques Rousseau. Read until the ear buds fall out of my ears and the book falls to the side of the bed!
Summer is heaven on earth! I take nothing for granted. End of May I will be working 14 hours a day into the night... 7 days and nights a week! I never feel guilt during these 5 months! I HAVE EARNED EVERY RESTFUL MOMENT!
Thursday, January 01, 2009
A New Year... 2009
I have great reason to be 'released' from 2008! I survived the past 12 months and I believe I have learned the lessons!
What a year of Lessons that HAD TO BE LEARNED and it seemed they could only be LEARNED via pain, suffering and forgiveness. Mind you, I had no idea I was carrying such an Gargantua amount of garbage and destructive emotional energy that began fermenting into quite a powerful toxic as well as fantastically healing brew from the time I was born!
I thank my lucky stars for every single vibration be it positive, negative or passive that has helped make me into the person I am today. Everything I am came from simply one word: VIBRATION!
Music was my gift, the simple 'talent' that would take me 'round the world and introduce me to some of the most bazaar as well as amazing human beings on this planet.
Music is a land where I did any damn thing I wanted because, more than any place on earth, it offered me the opportunity to CREATE my own reality. I could spend hours alone at the organ or piano IMPROVISING any image or emotions I wanted within the fame work of SOUND.
Cheat music and it will cheat on you!
Music is a land where DISCIPLINE, DEDICATION and DETERMINATION abound. Any composition will sound 'beautiful' and 'meaningful' or 'desirous' BUT and only IF, it is not performed as TRUTH, somewhere in the learning process of the composition you have "CHEATED"! I know this to be abso-fucking-lutely TRUE!
Beauty and truth in MOTION make music and dance come alive and touch the soul of the very universe we are all a part of.
Because of MUSIC I am who I am. My music lead me on a course of self discovery and learning I never imagined possible when I was a 6 year old boy! Even when I was a 43 year old man! Or when I was a 62 year old man!
2009 is an amazing number in numerology. 2 being an "active" number and 9 a number of "transition" or as some people claim it is the number of "completion"... 9+2=11... 11 is a master number!
This year is full of activity, through ongoing vibrational impulse, attempting to move everything toward transformation. When things seem to be going to hell this year REMEMBER: deliberately and consistently install moments of quietness, stillness and emptiness into your daily NOW... (these words are from my friend Diviana!)
I feel that all the people in my life I have 'created' and I see them as musical notes, triads and scales, arpeggios, some have been fast glissando's, some fortissimo, some pianissimo... some very Dolce or just andante!
Many of these gorgeous people have left the earth plane, but they vibrate and make a sound that I desire in my "Life's symphony" they are never far away, they are part of my very being. Every breath and heart beat they live and make their very presence known only to me!
My musical "mentors" are very much with me always! They are alive and live in New York, Idaho, Utah and some like Brahms or Bach have long left their bodies.
Brahms was a most complex man loving two people at once was not uncommon for him! He kept the company of men...He was extremely generous with his money, living quarters and gave men and WOMEN beautiful gifts. BUT, he was out spoken! Rude and very blunt... Honesty with no pretense.
He lost two of his dearest companions of his life within months of each other... Clara Wieck Schumann and Jochiem the violinist.
Brahms captured the confusing unsaid dilemmas of philosophy, of unrequited love, of words and touch not given in the physical but held in one's own private mind and a secret place within one's heart.
A most intuitive, very private as well as sexual thing. That is the JOY OF MUSIC! It is life!
This is going to be a "CRACKER" of a year.
What a year of Lessons that HAD TO BE LEARNED and it seemed they could only be LEARNED via pain, suffering and forgiveness. Mind you, I had no idea I was carrying such an Gargantua amount of garbage and destructive emotional energy that began fermenting into quite a powerful toxic as well as fantastically healing brew from the time I was born!
I thank my lucky stars for every single vibration be it positive, negative or passive that has helped make me into the person I am today. Everything I am came from simply one word: VIBRATION!
Music was my gift, the simple 'talent' that would take me 'round the world and introduce me to some of the most bazaar as well as amazing human beings on this planet.
Music is a land where I did any damn thing I wanted because, more than any place on earth, it offered me the opportunity to CREATE my own reality. I could spend hours alone at the organ or piano IMPROVISING any image or emotions I wanted within the fame work of SOUND.
Cheat music and it will cheat on you!
Music is a land where DISCIPLINE, DEDICATION and DETERMINATION abound. Any composition will sound 'beautiful' and 'meaningful' or 'desirous' BUT and only IF, it is not performed as TRUTH, somewhere in the learning process of the composition you have "CHEATED"! I know this to be abso-fucking-lutely TRUE!
Beauty and truth in MOTION make music and dance come alive and touch the soul of the very universe we are all a part of.
Because of MUSIC I am who I am. My music lead me on a course of self discovery and learning I never imagined possible when I was a 6 year old boy! Even when I was a 43 year old man! Or when I was a 62 year old man!
2009 is an amazing number in numerology. 2 being an "active" number and 9 a number of "transition" or as some people claim it is the number of "completion"... 9+2=11... 11 is a master number!
This year is full of activity, through ongoing vibrational impulse, attempting to move everything toward transformation. When things seem to be going to hell this year REMEMBER: deliberately and consistently install moments of quietness, stillness and emptiness into your daily NOW... (these words are from my friend Diviana!)
I feel that all the people in my life I have 'created' and I see them as musical notes, triads and scales, arpeggios, some have been fast glissando's, some fortissimo, some pianissimo... some very Dolce or just andante!
Many of these gorgeous people have left the earth plane, but they vibrate and make a sound that I desire in my "Life's symphony" they are never far away, they are part of my very being. Every breath and heart beat they live and make their very presence known only to me!
My musical "mentors" are very much with me always! They are alive and live in New York, Idaho, Utah and some like Brahms or Bach have long left their bodies.
Brahms was a most complex man loving two people at once was not uncommon for him! He kept the company of men...He was extremely generous with his money, living quarters and gave men and WOMEN beautiful gifts. BUT, he was out spoken! Rude and very blunt... Honesty with no pretense.
He lost two of his dearest companions of his life within months of each other... Clara Wieck Schumann and Jochiem the violinist.
Brahms captured the confusing unsaid dilemmas of philosophy, of unrequited love, of words and touch not given in the physical but held in one's own private mind and a secret place within one's heart.
A most intuitive, very private as well as sexual thing. That is the JOY OF MUSIC! It is life!
This is going to be a "CRACKER" of a year.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)