Yesterday I walked into St. Peter's Anglican Church. It is a lovely small chapel with stained glass windows and a wonderful very old pipe organ. Years ago, I played two concerts to help raise money to restore the old organ. In the early 90's an elderly, very wealthy member of the church donated money for a brand new Yamaha baby grand piano to be a gift for the church. Some members were distressed as they felt the money for the piano should have been used for missionary purposes and to care for the needy.
Well, that piano has been a blessing for that church.
I have not played on a acoustic piano in a little more than 4 months! I have a fine electric keyboard here in my studio, but yesterday was a splendid autumn day. The light that filtered through the stain glass drew me to the place it settled upon, the black lacquered finish of the piano! I dropped my back pack, and seated myself before the alter of black and white keys... My hands went straight for the position of the Prelude in C Major by J.S. Bach!
I had forgotten how delicate this piano was! How light and yet silvery it's sweet voice. It never had a rich bass and at times I dreaded performing certain compositions on it. My heart took me to familiar pieces such as Clair de lune, Fur Elise... I simply opened to the music and allowed IT to play through me.
I know that the piano is not really a solid mass but made up of many atoms with space between each cell and I often wonder if, just IF that piano remembers me? Does it remember my hands, my weight and emotions when I performed on it years ago? The thrill of vibration and the sense of touch was a pure moment of ecstasy. I suddenly became sentimental for so many other pianos I have played and loved to make music with!
I have always envied acoustic guitar players. The gorgeous feeling of cradling the sensuous shape of the guitar upon your thighs and then the feeling of harmonic vibrations echoing through your mind, body and space! made possible by your own two hands. To feel the wood pulsating against your chest, against your heart!
I must go back to that church and play the baby grand one more time before I leave NZ. I'll play I'll Be Seeing YOU!
Monday, March 31, 2008
Sunday, March 23, 2008
I am walking into town and up and down slopes!
This photo was taken on day three in hospital. The drips had been removed from my hand, the catheter taken out of my secret parts and the ice machine taken off my knee! A beautiful lunch. Tuna nestled on a bed of fresh greens with boiled potatoes and hard boiled eggs. Whole grain bread and yogurt. Right after the picture was taken I felt like hell! I could not eat my lunch. Strange. Not strange?
When I was in hospital a dear friend gave me a wooden plaque cut in the shape of a heart. It is painted in hues of blue and lavender with an arabesque of pansies framing these words: "THIS IS THE LUXURY OF MUSIC: IT LOOSENS ALL THE HIDDEN
SPRINGS OF SORROW AND OF JOY! I LOVE IT FOR WHAT IT MAKES ME FORGET AND WHAT IT MAKES ME REMEMBER..."
I'll be seeing you...
Friday, March 14, 2008
The Knee replacement
I did not come to New Zealand this year flirting with any thoughts about having my left knee replaced! If anything, I was determined to do more walking, read more books and with physical therapy I would cure the problem.
I am a devout believer that we all have guardian angels that direct us down paths we consciously would never dream of setting foot upon, be it energy from people we have loved that have crossed over to other dimensions or some force from the universe that we are invisibly connected to in such a way that it guides and speaks to us in ways we are not always aware of.
I had the consultation with the surgeon/specialist about three weeks ago. He could only perform the knee replacement on March 20th. This was a concern because of my flight back to the states being on April 28th. That was under the allotted time frame of a 6 week space before one should fly on a jet airplane for up to 12 hours non stop!
I received a call from Mercy Hospital saying they could slot me in for surgery on March 6th! Not a problem except that I had a very bad bladder infection! Not much time to clear the mess up. I drank gallons of cranberry juice, took antibiotics and barely passed the test!
I have never had a major operation. I was scared shit-less. I have a circle of amazing friends that I am in contact with at least two or three times a week via the Internet. They are all women that are blest with the power of healing. One friend sent me a long over due letter that chastised my negative thinking and lack of love for my self! Another said do not do this until I had taken certain steps in diet, and herbal supplements, another said do it and move on... they all were concerned and only had love and concern for my situation. I nearly pulled out the last minute! Fear of literally not being able to walk if a mistake was made or not coming out of the anesthesia.
Entered the hospital at 11:30 AM Thursday March 6th. Said goodbye to Michael and walked into the room for pre operation procedures. I had met my Anesthesiologist the night before. After taking my clothes off and donning the hospital gown, I laid on the gurney that I figured would become the alter for my blood sacrifice! The nurse gave me a pill. I looked around and joked with the various nurses, then the shot in the arm... I awoke around 5:30 PM hearing my name being gently spoken and seeing my Anesthetist at the foot of the bed. He smiled and said "It went perfect!" Suddenly the platform was spun around and It felt like I was on a jet boat flying through doors, into an elevator and into a room where my extended family had been waiting for hours.
I had a spinal along with the anesthesia. My body was numb, dead from the waist down. Could not move my feet. My left leg was wound in gauze and an ice machine was keeping it cold because of swelling. I had oxygen tubes in my nose, a drip in the top of my left hand and a catheter in my penis. I was itching like hell. I am sure I slurred every word that came out of my mouth... but I was not in pain. However, I could not sleep. Two amazing nurses came in to take my blood pressure, oxygen levels and would roll me onto my side and massage my back and feet. I did not have a pump for pain. I did not want all the drugs, so we went with panidol and Oxycontin... for the first two days and nights. I sat in bed the next morning and brushed my teeth, a nurse bathed me and once again massaged my feet and back. I was able to flex my ankles. GOOD SIGN.
Second night they gave me a tablet to help me fall asleep. It did help. The pain started around 4 AM. I mean unexplainable pain.
I got through it but by the third day I thought I had possibly done the worst if not the absolute most horrible thing I could have done to my body. I could not get comfortable. I could not stand the pain. I kept doing the various exercises they had me do while laying in bed. My mind kept going in and out of places I have been and places I have never been... People that I have not seen or thought of in years flashed in and out of my visual cortex! The nurses were unbelievable. They came in every half hour. My surgeon and Anesthesiologist visited me every morning and night!
The nurse that removed my catheter was truly an angel. I will never be able to put into words what it felt like. The balloon released from the bladder, but the whole thing became stuck at the head of my joy stick!!! She could not get it out! I was a good boy. I breathed as deep as possible and tears flew out of my eyes. Blood had dried around the opening of the urethra. This amazing nurse told me to "pedal like mad with my left foot and make a fist" I did and out it came! Blood and urine also came rushing out. Next the drips were taken out, but the needle in my hand had to remain in case I needed a blood transfusion or morphine drip... Finally the nurse removed the ice machine... then the cutting away of the bandages.
Layers of beige gauze, then a white fluffy fabric was around the knee. She removed that and there was my wound. A plastic bandage over the incision. Knee was not badly swollen. She helped me up and into the shower! I was exhausted.
I would lay and read, then concentrate on sending all the healing medicines and vibrations possible into that knee. I had created a play list on my I pod titled, "Brent's healing music". Clair de lune, Reverie, Meditation from Thais the list goes on and some Jon Serrie creations that I believe with all my heart helped heal me as much as the medication.
Everyone kept raving on about how well things were coming. I was up and walking the halls and stairs the fourth day. I finally asked to only walk with the one crutch. then I tried no crutches... I was of course weak and became extremely tired after a walk. I'd lay down and rest, then get up again and do the walk about the hall way. By the fifth night I was ready to come home.
It was a long ride in the car back to Queenstown. Four hours. I sat in the passenger seat, then laid in the back seat but I did it. I walked up the flight of stairs onto the landing where my studio and the ground level of the house is situated. Greeted with much love and joy! Everyday has been a STEP toward more walking and I have a straight leg! If all goes well I can fly home without worries of blood clots and I am only taking Panidol for pain. I am going to rid my body of as many prescription drugs of which I have taken for years...
The hospital I was in is a Private Hospital. The care was like nothing I have ever witnessed in the USA! The staff were indescribable. Part of the reason for such an amazing recovery: I had good muscles and tendons in my legs. The years of walking, hiking and working out in the gym honestly PAID OFF in ways I never dreamed possible!!!
I have not used my crutches since I have been home. I cancelled the raised toilet seat thing, the grabber tool, all the physical things I was told to use IF I needed them! I walk. NOT on inclines and down slopes, but on flat surfaces and can now walk quite well up the stairs without putting both feet on one step at a time. "the GOOD FOOT FIRST when going up stairs and the BAD FOOT first when going down stairs". I am eating and cooking our dinners. I spend a lot of time resting and loving the views. Yesterday I sat in the Autumn sun light for 15 minutes stark naked! Soaking in the healing rays of the sun and the beautiful clean air. New Zealand was the place I was to have this operation performed.
I believe in the power of numbers! The number 8 is a very important number in my life. The year 2008 is the year for much healing and putting many things of my past aside and stepping into a new light!
I will be chasing rainbows very very soon and most of all I'll be seeing you!
I am a devout believer that we all have guardian angels that direct us down paths we consciously would never dream of setting foot upon, be it energy from people we have loved that have crossed over to other dimensions or some force from the universe that we are invisibly connected to in such a way that it guides and speaks to us in ways we are not always aware of.
I had the consultation with the surgeon/specialist about three weeks ago. He could only perform the knee replacement on March 20th. This was a concern because of my flight back to the states being on April 28th. That was under the allotted time frame of a 6 week space before one should fly on a jet airplane for up to 12 hours non stop!
I received a call from Mercy Hospital saying they could slot me in for surgery on March 6th! Not a problem except that I had a very bad bladder infection! Not much time to clear the mess up. I drank gallons of cranberry juice, took antibiotics and barely passed the test!
I have never had a major operation. I was scared shit-less. I have a circle of amazing friends that I am in contact with at least two or three times a week via the Internet. They are all women that are blest with the power of healing. One friend sent me a long over due letter that chastised my negative thinking and lack of love for my self! Another said do not do this until I had taken certain steps in diet, and herbal supplements, another said do it and move on... they all were concerned and only had love and concern for my situation. I nearly pulled out the last minute! Fear of literally not being able to walk if a mistake was made or not coming out of the anesthesia.
Entered the hospital at 11:30 AM Thursday March 6th. Said goodbye to Michael and walked into the room for pre operation procedures. I had met my Anesthesiologist the night before. After taking my clothes off and donning the hospital gown, I laid on the gurney that I figured would become the alter for my blood sacrifice! The nurse gave me a pill. I looked around and joked with the various nurses, then the shot in the arm... I awoke around 5:30 PM hearing my name being gently spoken and seeing my Anesthetist at the foot of the bed. He smiled and said "It went perfect!" Suddenly the platform was spun around and It felt like I was on a jet boat flying through doors, into an elevator and into a room where my extended family had been waiting for hours.
I had a spinal along with the anesthesia. My body was numb, dead from the waist down. Could not move my feet. My left leg was wound in gauze and an ice machine was keeping it cold because of swelling. I had oxygen tubes in my nose, a drip in the top of my left hand and a catheter in my penis. I was itching like hell. I am sure I slurred every word that came out of my mouth... but I was not in pain. However, I could not sleep. Two amazing nurses came in to take my blood pressure, oxygen levels and would roll me onto my side and massage my back and feet. I did not have a pump for pain. I did not want all the drugs, so we went with panidol and Oxycontin... for the first two days and nights. I sat in bed the next morning and brushed my teeth, a nurse bathed me and once again massaged my feet and back. I was able to flex my ankles. GOOD SIGN.
Second night they gave me a tablet to help me fall asleep. It did help. The pain started around 4 AM. I mean unexplainable pain.
I got through it but by the third day I thought I had possibly done the worst if not the absolute most horrible thing I could have done to my body. I could not get comfortable. I could not stand the pain. I kept doing the various exercises they had me do while laying in bed. My mind kept going in and out of places I have been and places I have never been... People that I have not seen or thought of in years flashed in and out of my visual cortex! The nurses were unbelievable. They came in every half hour. My surgeon and Anesthesiologist visited me every morning and night!
The nurse that removed my catheter was truly an angel. I will never be able to put into words what it felt like. The balloon released from the bladder, but the whole thing became stuck at the head of my joy stick!!! She could not get it out! I was a good boy. I breathed as deep as possible and tears flew out of my eyes. Blood had dried around the opening of the urethra. This amazing nurse told me to "pedal like mad with my left foot and make a fist" I did and out it came! Blood and urine also came rushing out. Next the drips were taken out, but the needle in my hand had to remain in case I needed a blood transfusion or morphine drip... Finally the nurse removed the ice machine... then the cutting away of the bandages.
Layers of beige gauze, then a white fluffy fabric was around the knee. She removed that and there was my wound. A plastic bandage over the incision. Knee was not badly swollen. She helped me up and into the shower! I was exhausted.
I would lay and read, then concentrate on sending all the healing medicines and vibrations possible into that knee. I had created a play list on my I pod titled, "Brent's healing music". Clair de lune, Reverie, Meditation from Thais the list goes on and some Jon Serrie creations that I believe with all my heart helped heal me as much as the medication.
Everyone kept raving on about how well things were coming. I was up and walking the halls and stairs the fourth day. I finally asked to only walk with the one crutch. then I tried no crutches... I was of course weak and became extremely tired after a walk. I'd lay down and rest, then get up again and do the walk about the hall way. By the fifth night I was ready to come home.
It was a long ride in the car back to Queenstown. Four hours. I sat in the passenger seat, then laid in the back seat but I did it. I walked up the flight of stairs onto the landing where my studio and the ground level of the house is situated. Greeted with much love and joy! Everyday has been a STEP toward more walking and I have a straight leg! If all goes well I can fly home without worries of blood clots and I am only taking Panidol for pain. I am going to rid my body of as many prescription drugs of which I have taken for years...
The hospital I was in is a Private Hospital. The care was like nothing I have ever witnessed in the USA! The staff were indescribable. Part of the reason for such an amazing recovery: I had good muscles and tendons in my legs. The years of walking, hiking and working out in the gym honestly PAID OFF in ways I never dreamed possible!!!
I have not used my crutches since I have been home. I cancelled the raised toilet seat thing, the grabber tool, all the physical things I was told to use IF I needed them! I walk. NOT on inclines and down slopes, but on flat surfaces and can now walk quite well up the stairs without putting both feet on one step at a time. "the GOOD FOOT FIRST when going up stairs and the BAD FOOT first when going down stairs". I am eating and cooking our dinners. I spend a lot of time resting and loving the views. Yesterday I sat in the Autumn sun light for 15 minutes stark naked! Soaking in the healing rays of the sun and the beautiful clean air. New Zealand was the place I was to have this operation performed.
I believe in the power of numbers! The number 8 is a very important number in my life. The year 2008 is the year for much healing and putting many things of my past aside and stepping into a new light!
I will be chasing rainbows very very soon and most of all I'll be seeing you!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)