It is nearly 9:00 PM. Sun is still bright in the sky and music fills the air. Neighbors are grilling steaks outside, drinking bottles of beer from very green bottles. Town is jam packed with young and old people.
I made schnitzel, potato salad, mixed summer veggies and peasant bread for dinner. We ate on the patio. A dear friend of the family is visiting from Wellington so we opened a bottle of Pinot Noir Wine and had fun after the meal pulling "cracker's filled with silly paper hats, jokes and a gift.
Every year people make New Year's Resolutions. I do not do that. I prefer making wishes for the New Year. Goals are important and give great meaning to one's life, but aging allows you the pleasure of looking back on all the goals you did achieve over your life to the present moment and hopefully you hear a gentle whispering voice deep within you head and heart that tells you your "reality" really occurs within your BRAIN and your mind is not your brain!
Your mind is that endless, eternal part of you that has always been and always will exist because your mind does not know "time"... This dream uses "time" to measure where and when things happen. I've learned that life is really "events".
Einstein gave us Relativity and therefore we are able to know millions of events that are dreams occurring at the same time!
Example: I have not felt well for a couple of days. Today I walked to the town center and had coffee at a cafe with a great patio setting. I listened to so many conversations going on at the same time. Young people in love with endless dreams, some people looked sad, God only knows what had occurred in their dream this morning. Death or some kind of upsetting news. Other's were totally absorbed in their life with their children. Then there was me.
One thing I do pray for is: a NEW and HONEST administration in Washington DC. I hope for cures to diseases and free medical treatment for every person on planet earth. I hope for some kind of balance with world population. I know I sound like a very blonde contestant in some "Peach Days Beauty Pageant"...
Happy Happy 2008 to the me I AM and the world I am living in.
Sunday, December 30, 2007
Thursday, December 27, 2007
A really ugly priest of what?
Took this while having fun with the camera in the computer. Been one hell of an enormous day. High winds, cold and lots of blistering rain.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Helping a friend... with poetry
All of my life when ever I have been slammed up against a wall, my brain and face gasping for air I have been able to reach my arm behind me and grasp a book of poetry... a song in words. Music is my life's way of expression but poetry is music's lover?
A friend of mine is experiencing a time of depression and disappointment, therefore I told her to read some of Mary Oliver's poetry... Possibly she will, more than likely she will not read the poetry so I am posting one of Mary's poems here on my blog...
Mary is a most amazing woman. She never received a degree from The University of Ohio or Vassar College, but she went on to achieve some unbelievable feats in the world of words.
She was born in 1935... She lost her life time partner a few years ago. Mary loved the poetry of Edna St. Vincent Millay. When Mary was a teenager Norma, (Edna's sister and sole survivor) allowed Mary to help file and organize much of Millay's works, letters and Mary was able to live at "Steeple Top", ESVM home for many years, during that time.
I keep a book of her poems on my bedside table. I have oft times read this poem when I am facing a difficult situation...
THE JOURNEY
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice---
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But Little, by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do---
determined to save
the only life you could save.
Today is Christmas in New Zealand! I wish everyone that has ever or does read this blog a very glorious new year.
I know we are to celebrate the birthday of a King, Christ. I know he died so that we might live... Well I say save your own life the best way you can because you and I are the Christos of our own lives.
Stars do burn through sheets of clouds and there lives a voice which is your very own voice... (the throat chakra!) That voice is your fingerprint that identifies your survival through this illusion!
I wish with all my heart we all find our own voice in the new year.
A friend of mine is experiencing a time of depression and disappointment, therefore I told her to read some of Mary Oliver's poetry... Possibly she will, more than likely she will not read the poetry so I am posting one of Mary's poems here on my blog...
Mary is a most amazing woman. She never received a degree from The University of Ohio or Vassar College, but she went on to achieve some unbelievable feats in the world of words.
She was born in 1935... She lost her life time partner a few years ago. Mary loved the poetry of Edna St. Vincent Millay. When Mary was a teenager Norma, (Edna's sister and sole survivor) allowed Mary to help file and organize much of Millay's works, letters and Mary was able to live at "Steeple Top", ESVM home for many years, during that time.
I keep a book of her poems on my bedside table. I have oft times read this poem when I am facing a difficult situation...
THE JOURNEY
One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice---
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But Little, by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do---
determined to save
the only life you could save.
Today is Christmas in New Zealand! I wish everyone that has ever or does read this blog a very glorious new year.
I know we are to celebrate the birthday of a King, Christ. I know he died so that we might live... Well I say save your own life the best way you can because you and I are the Christos of our own lives.
Stars do burn through sheets of clouds and there lives a voice which is your very own voice... (the throat chakra!) That voice is your fingerprint that identifies your survival through this illusion!
I wish with all my heart we all find our own voice in the new year.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Papillons
Today was a most wonderful summer day. Hot, perfect sun and sky. Every window in the house outstretched like an open arm welcoming in the seasonal air.
About 5:00 PM I ventured out for my hour walk about. The village was vibrating with life. It seemed as if a ship had docked thousands of foreigners into Queens town. Every language filled the air.
I sat on a bench near the shore line of the lake, to take a rest and a young girl yelled out at me! "Merry Christmas! Come over here!" I was stunned, but got up and walked over with my back pack on my shoulder and sun glasses on my head!
There were about 8 young men and women wearing nothing but the least of clothing, all on the grass drinking wine. They were Brazilian. We chatted and then I excused my (what seemed very old self) and wandered up the side walk to the market.
What a nice gesture and how kind they were to me. It was wonderful because the past few days have been depressing. A certain member of the family was supposed to be with us for the five months we are here and they have made things impossible to spend the time with us!
BUT, the trip to Dunedin was magic. Sad in many ways because of the invisible depressing energy this absence has caused, but before we left Dunedin we attended the exhibition of the Butterflies at the University Museum. It is unexplainable.
They have created a Tropical Rain Forest in a very small space with three or four levels. Plants, gold fish within a room full of colorful butterflies that fill the sacred space. It is very humid and you do not want a jacket or anything in that area.
The Butterflies are of every size and color. We saw them as they spin their cocoons from being caterpillars into a pupa and then they hatch upside down and hang for up to two hours waiting for their wings to dry out!
Every morning the attendants free the new born butterflies. The only way to explain it is to experience it!
God they were in my hair and on my arms. I loved it. Truly a angelic experience. Like the old line: Butterflies are Free!
Only frustrating thing was to think we live on such a gorgeous orb and yet men keep killing and seeking power and money!
When there is an entire Eco- system functioning within all this insane drama.
Yesterday I found peace through the life of a butterfly!
Years ago I struggled to learn a composition at the piano "Papillons" by Grieg! He captured the dance of such a light and delicate package of life! I will never look at a butterfly again without blessing it!
About 5:00 PM I ventured out for my hour walk about. The village was vibrating with life. It seemed as if a ship had docked thousands of foreigners into Queens town. Every language filled the air.
I sat on a bench near the shore line of the lake, to take a rest and a young girl yelled out at me! "Merry Christmas! Come over here!" I was stunned, but got up and walked over with my back pack on my shoulder and sun glasses on my head!
There were about 8 young men and women wearing nothing but the least of clothing, all on the grass drinking wine. They were Brazilian. We chatted and then I excused my (what seemed very old self) and wandered up the side walk to the market.
What a nice gesture and how kind they were to me. It was wonderful because the past few days have been depressing. A certain member of the family was supposed to be with us for the five months we are here and they have made things impossible to spend the time with us!
BUT, the trip to Dunedin was magic. Sad in many ways because of the invisible depressing energy this absence has caused, but before we left Dunedin we attended the exhibition of the Butterflies at the University Museum. It is unexplainable.
They have created a Tropical Rain Forest in a very small space with three or four levels. Plants, gold fish within a room full of colorful butterflies that fill the sacred space. It is very humid and you do not want a jacket or anything in that area.
The Butterflies are of every size and color. We saw them as they spin their cocoons from being caterpillars into a pupa and then they hatch upside down and hang for up to two hours waiting for their wings to dry out!
Every morning the attendants free the new born butterflies. The only way to explain it is to experience it!
God they were in my hair and on my arms. I loved it. Truly a angelic experience. Like the old line: Butterflies are Free!
Only frustrating thing was to think we live on such a gorgeous orb and yet men keep killing and seeking power and money!
When there is an entire Eco- system functioning within all this insane drama.
Yesterday I found peace through the life of a butterfly!
Years ago I struggled to learn a composition at the piano "Papillons" by Grieg! He captured the dance of such a light and delicate package of life! I will never look at a butterfly again without blessing it!
Monday, December 17, 2007
Something very touching...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mogkhlfn-Wg Hopefully you can click this address and watch this wonderful video.
It has rained on and off the past couple of days. Over cast with heavy cloud cover, but it does make the lawns so green.
Yesterday being Sunday we drove out to Carrick Winery. Had a delightful lunch. Gnocchi rolled in egg plant, pesto and some amazing bread. Of course the Pinot Noir is one of my favorites, but this time I opted for a Chardonnay! It was quite nice.
First time in years I did not take my camera with me! Every year I have a photo taken of me at Carrick Winery because it is like an omen, I made it back to my "other home" on earth.
Today I had more of that god awful pulsating light treatment done to my face. It hurts and it makes me feel like shit afterward.
I don't want anymore laser
pulses shot into my face. (It has cleared up the pre cancerous demons and balanced one hell of a lot of my pigmentation.)
The Doctor said I will be "frek-less" very soon! Really? I was born with freckles and my grandmothers told me I had been kissed by the angels!
Thursday we are driving to Dunedin. I will spend part of the day in the Art Gallery. No doubt see a movie at the Metro beside Town Hall and hopefully eat at one of my favorite restaurants, The Etruscan. I love pasta! If not there we will eat at "A Cow Named Bertha". Great food.
The Etruscan has such great vegetarian food and it is Italian, (NO KIDDING???) I do love the Blue Cod at Bertha so we will see.
Also hope to catch up with Hyrum at Twang. He helped me with Garage Band, the recording system in my computer when I was trying to make my "OPEN HEART" recording.
He has a great music shop. I wrote a blog about him last year. Maybe I'll buy a guitar and really drive the neighbors crazy! There is a wonderful baby grand piano at Beggs Music that I would love to have, but it would be far too loud for this close living space. Both neighbors told me to please buy it! Wait till they had to endure hours of scales and arpeggios! Bach Preludes and Fugues in the night! But, there would be the late night rendition of Clair de lune, or Moonlight Sonata, or possibly something very quiet I invented!
The Christmas tree is beautiful. It really does look wonderful from the top windows of the house! Too bad there is not a chimney for Santa to slide into with gifts for all the good girls and boys...
It has rained on and off the past couple of days. Over cast with heavy cloud cover, but it does make the lawns so green.
Yesterday being Sunday we drove out to Carrick Winery. Had a delightful lunch. Gnocchi rolled in egg plant, pesto and some amazing bread. Of course the Pinot Noir is one of my favorites, but this time I opted for a Chardonnay! It was quite nice.
First time in years I did not take my camera with me! Every year I have a photo taken of me at Carrick Winery because it is like an omen, I made it back to my "other home" on earth.
Today I had more of that god awful pulsating light treatment done to my face. It hurts and it makes me feel like shit afterward.
I don't want anymore laser
pulses shot into my face. (It has cleared up the pre cancerous demons and balanced one hell of a lot of my pigmentation.)
The Doctor said I will be "frek-less" very soon! Really? I was born with freckles and my grandmothers told me I had been kissed by the angels!
Thursday we are driving to Dunedin. I will spend part of the day in the Art Gallery. No doubt see a movie at the Metro beside Town Hall and hopefully eat at one of my favorite restaurants, The Etruscan. I love pasta! If not there we will eat at "A Cow Named Bertha". Great food.
The Etruscan has such great vegetarian food and it is Italian, (NO KIDDING???) I do love the Blue Cod at Bertha so we will see.
Also hope to catch up with Hyrum at Twang. He helped me with Garage Band, the recording system in my computer when I was trying to make my "OPEN HEART" recording.
He has a great music shop. I wrote a blog about him last year. Maybe I'll buy a guitar and really drive the neighbors crazy! There is a wonderful baby grand piano at Beggs Music that I would love to have, but it would be far too loud for this close living space. Both neighbors told me to please buy it! Wait till they had to endure hours of scales and arpeggios! Bach Preludes and Fugues in the night! But, there would be the late night rendition of Clair de lune, or Moonlight Sonata, or possibly something very quiet I invented!
The Christmas tree is beautiful. It really does look wonderful from the top windows of the house! Too bad there is not a chimney for Santa to slide into with gifts for all the good girls and boys...
Monday, December 10, 2007
Old Journals
My studio in NZ has a book case full of interesting books, music, candles, rocks, what ever I cram into it's cavities.
The other night I thought to my self, "Right, get off your lazy ass and clean this mess up!" I did just that! Filled an entire rubbish bag with dried tubes of oil paints, out dated food supplements, CD's that are of no interest to me what so ever... but amid the debris I found a Musical Journal I had filled with priceless words from my teachers as well as details about my musical trips to NYC over the years. I will share one entry: Pollini's Carnegie Hall Concert. November 1998.
"I always feel claustrophobic to the point of jumping out of my skin when in a concert hall I am seated in the balcony. Alas! the seat is a decent seat. It is in the circle, left hand side, an excellent view of the key board. The biggest problem with the seat is that there is no leg room because in 1900 when Carnegie Hall was dedicated and became one of the finest concert halls in the world, people were much smaller than they are today. FACT! Door handles and door knobs used to be positioned much lower on doors than they are in today's homes. (The bottom line of why I am not enjoying this seat is that I have hurt my left knee. God it is always the left knee. I cannot walk up stairs! So sitting in this cramped position with my knee smashed into the railing is not pleasant. Besides that, I am sitting beside a woman that will not stop talking to me! She goes on and on about her 28 year old son who is in medical school here in NYC. He is not doing well... his grades are fabulous! The stress of becoming a MD is what is driving him to the brink and he suffers serious depression. Well, I really don't give a damn, because if he wants stress he should try to become a concert artist!!! Besides I am here to hear the Italian Stallion play the piano, not to hear about her son's complications at medical school...
Concert time is set for 7:30 PM. Precisely at 7:40 PM Pollini appears. He is my size. Possibly 5' 10" He is in his 60's. He moves across the stage very quickly, almost dashes across the stage to the piano. He grasps the piano as to secure his sudden landing. He sits and immediately dives into the Schumann. From where I am seated I can see the top of his head.
Male Pattern Baldness is ravishing what had to be at one time a gorgeous head of hair. (Being Italian he had to have hair! Most Italians have hair every where!)
Intermission and I am doomed with the mother of the 28 year old med student. Finally part two of the concert. He performs two Chopin Nocturnes and the fourth Ballade.
The audience is wild with applause and shouts of Bravo. Apparently Pollini does not do encores as the applause thunders away for 7, mind you, 7 curtain calls. He finally sits at the Steinway and play the Harp Etude by Chopin. Simply gorgeous then out of the blue he starts the Ballade in G Minor by Chopin as a second encore! He made some errors, but his approach to the work was almost a jazzed feeling! I loved it! I limp to the handicap elevator. God, what have I done to this knee?
I walk back to the Village. Anything to get this knee working. My mind is thinking of how squeamish I have become about performing the G minor. A piece that I used to perform at every concert... I have allowed a host of ghosts to take up residency in my mind. The more I deny their existence the more they breathe and live inside my musical mind!!! What is that old Buddhist saying: "Kill your own death!" Well, these ghosts have got to go. I want to play the G minor in public without fear of a glitch or complete memory break down! Ah the burden of performing.
End of entry... There are some really nice personal things that I had best keep in the journal, however, I will probably write them into this blog. I do think every person should possibly jot a few thoughts within the pages of a journal so one day they can read and measure how far they have come from where they have been.
The other night I thought to my self, "Right, get off your lazy ass and clean this mess up!" I did just that! Filled an entire rubbish bag with dried tubes of oil paints, out dated food supplements, CD's that are of no interest to me what so ever... but amid the debris I found a Musical Journal I had filled with priceless words from my teachers as well as details about my musical trips to NYC over the years. I will share one entry: Pollini's Carnegie Hall Concert. November 1998.
"I always feel claustrophobic to the point of jumping out of my skin when in a concert hall I am seated in the balcony. Alas! the seat is a decent seat. It is in the circle, left hand side, an excellent view of the key board. The biggest problem with the seat is that there is no leg room because in 1900 when Carnegie Hall was dedicated and became one of the finest concert halls in the world, people were much smaller than they are today. FACT! Door handles and door knobs used to be positioned much lower on doors than they are in today's homes. (The bottom line of why I am not enjoying this seat is that I have hurt my left knee. God it is always the left knee. I cannot walk up stairs! So sitting in this cramped position with my knee smashed into the railing is not pleasant. Besides that, I am sitting beside a woman that will not stop talking to me! She goes on and on about her 28 year old son who is in medical school here in NYC. He is not doing well... his grades are fabulous! The stress of becoming a MD is what is driving him to the brink and he suffers serious depression. Well, I really don't give a damn, because if he wants stress he should try to become a concert artist!!! Besides I am here to hear the Italian Stallion play the piano, not to hear about her son's complications at medical school...
Concert time is set for 7:30 PM. Precisely at 7:40 PM Pollini appears. He is my size. Possibly 5' 10" He is in his 60's. He moves across the stage very quickly, almost dashes across the stage to the piano. He grasps the piano as to secure his sudden landing. He sits and immediately dives into the Schumann. From where I am seated I can see the top of his head.
Male Pattern Baldness is ravishing what had to be at one time a gorgeous head of hair. (Being Italian he had to have hair! Most Italians have hair every where!)
Intermission and I am doomed with the mother of the 28 year old med student. Finally part two of the concert. He performs two Chopin Nocturnes and the fourth Ballade.
The audience is wild with applause and shouts of Bravo. Apparently Pollini does not do encores as the applause thunders away for 7, mind you, 7 curtain calls. He finally sits at the Steinway and play the Harp Etude by Chopin. Simply gorgeous then out of the blue he starts the Ballade in G Minor by Chopin as a second encore! He made some errors, but his approach to the work was almost a jazzed feeling! I loved it! I limp to the handicap elevator. God, what have I done to this knee?
I walk back to the Village. Anything to get this knee working. My mind is thinking of how squeamish I have become about performing the G minor. A piece that I used to perform at every concert... I have allowed a host of ghosts to take up residency in my mind. The more I deny their existence the more they breathe and live inside my musical mind!!! What is that old Buddhist saying: "Kill your own death!" Well, these ghosts have got to go. I want to play the G minor in public without fear of a glitch or complete memory break down! Ah the burden of performing.
End of entry... There are some really nice personal things that I had best keep in the journal, however, I will probably write them into this blog. I do think every person should possibly jot a few thoughts within the pages of a journal so one day they can read and measure how far they have come from where they have been.
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
My Own Bette Davis Film Festival
Tonight was the first of many nights this month as I am viewing old Bette Davis movies. God, what masterpieces. Max Steiner's music as well as classical themes from the great composers. Such fantastic direction from Hal Wallis....... I remember seeing these movies as a very young boy!
Tonight was "Now Voyager". Tomorrow is "All About Eve". I have 8 DVDS of these masterpieces and the sets, effects and of course the acting is superb. In between all this I will watch some South Park.
Movies to me are like living a lifetime within a few hours. Every movie ever made is like an individual lifetime I have lived or will live!!! Could it be possible that all this existence in it's reality is nothing more than a hologram within a hologram. Reviewing a lifetime I have already lived...
Music and art are timeless in the sense they capture events that occurred hundreds of years ago or that will occur in the future.
When I listen to Bach or play Bach I am living in the 1700's as well as 2007. Brahms takes me to a different time frame as well as Debussy or Willie Nelson... As Richard Bach titled one of his great novels: Illusions. It is all an illusion. Kenuae Reeves claims everything is: waves... nothing more than waves we come and go on...
Well, Bette Davis may be dead but she lives on the silver screen. Vivaldi lives every time I listen to the Four Seasons. and Gershwin's Concerto in F for Piano as well has his Rhapsody in Blue always take me to 1930's NYC. Eternity is a nice thing.
I believe it was Einstein that said: "Imagination is more important than knowledge"...
Tonight was "Now Voyager". Tomorrow is "All About Eve". I have 8 DVDS of these masterpieces and the sets, effects and of course the acting is superb. In between all this I will watch some South Park.
Movies to me are like living a lifetime within a few hours. Every movie ever made is like an individual lifetime I have lived or will live!!! Could it be possible that all this existence in it's reality is nothing more than a hologram within a hologram. Reviewing a lifetime I have already lived...
Music and art are timeless in the sense they capture events that occurred hundreds of years ago or that will occur in the future.
When I listen to Bach or play Bach I am living in the 1700's as well as 2007. Brahms takes me to a different time frame as well as Debussy or Willie Nelson... As Richard Bach titled one of his great novels: Illusions. It is all an illusion. Kenuae Reeves claims everything is: waves... nothing more than waves we come and go on...
Well, Bette Davis may be dead but she lives on the silver screen. Vivaldi lives every time I listen to the Four Seasons. and Gershwin's Concerto in F for Piano as well has his Rhapsody in Blue always take me to 1930's NYC. Eternity is a nice thing.
I believe it was Einstein that said: "Imagination is more important than knowledge"...
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Kevin Trudeau a must read...
For all of my life, my brother, Stephen has always dropped the name of a book or steered me in the direction of a certain book that I must read. Before leaving Alpine, WY I re-read "The Man From Lebanon" by Barbara Young. The story about Khalil Gibran.
Stephen gave me that book in 1964! He guided me to Ernest Holmes works: "This Thing Called YOU"... that little red book changed my life in 1984!!! (Two decades later!)
I spent a couple of nights at his home in Utah before leaving for NZ. He had a couple of books on his kitchen table that I picked up to glance through and ended up buying as well as I am now reading word by word... If you read my blog site you must read 'THE WEIGHT LOSS CURE "THEY" Don't Want You to Know About' and 'Natural Cures "THEY" Don't Want You To Know About.' By Kevin Trudeau.
This man has balls. He is fearless and has been down that ugly road with the FDA and FTC. Amazing someone from one of these two evil dept. of USA Government has not put a bullet through his head or "Accidentally" taken him out!!!
FBI and CIA are famous for such atrocities. You can order the books on Amazon.com or purchase it from you local book dealer.
Do read them as they are honest and knowledge one should be aware of in today's insane world of greed and power...
Life in QT, NZ is heaven right now. I am on a major film festival feast. I am watching a classic Bette Davis Movie every night. I have 8 of these masterpieces with me!!! The filming is amazing, as well as the sets, clothing and of course the music and acting. There is something to be said about Black & White photography! I have always been a sucker for Art House Films. Death in Venice, Wild Strawberries, Bagdad Cafe, Hal Hartley movies it goes on and on... Last year I watched some fantastic movies with Jane Wyman, "Johnny Belinda" and of course classics such as, "Sorry, Wrong Number" with Barbara Stanwiyck!
My own life this time around could have been made into a movie. Starring!!! (Brad Pitt would make a nice looking Brenthoven! Or maybe, Ben Afleck!!! I would not mind looking like Ben! A photographer once told me I looked like the actor in "Out of Africa" that played Ms. Streeps British husband! He was a German in real life. I am half Norwegian and half European... Soooooo what ever. My dream has always been to be Brad Pitt in the movie "A River Runs Through". One of my favorite flicks of all time! (I know it can bore the hell out of some of m friends. Sorry, but I think I lived during that time frame and did exactly what Pitt does in that movie!)
This evening's sunset over Lake Wakatipu was breathtakingly beautiful. I will always seek the best of mountain, water and sky each time I am born into this dimension called EARTH LIFE!
Stephen gave me that book in 1964! He guided me to Ernest Holmes works: "This Thing Called YOU"... that little red book changed my life in 1984!!! (Two decades later!)
I spent a couple of nights at his home in Utah before leaving for NZ. He had a couple of books on his kitchen table that I picked up to glance through and ended up buying as well as I am now reading word by word... If you read my blog site you must read 'THE WEIGHT LOSS CURE "THEY" Don't Want You to Know About' and 'Natural Cures "THEY" Don't Want You To Know About.' By Kevin Trudeau.
This man has balls. He is fearless and has been down that ugly road with the FDA and FTC. Amazing someone from one of these two evil dept. of USA Government has not put a bullet through his head or "Accidentally" taken him out!!!
FBI and CIA are famous for such atrocities. You can order the books on Amazon.com or purchase it from you local book dealer.
Do read them as they are honest and knowledge one should be aware of in today's insane world of greed and power...
Life in QT, NZ is heaven right now. I am on a major film festival feast. I am watching a classic Bette Davis Movie every night. I have 8 of these masterpieces with me!!! The filming is amazing, as well as the sets, clothing and of course the music and acting. There is something to be said about Black & White photography! I have always been a sucker for Art House Films. Death in Venice, Wild Strawberries, Bagdad Cafe, Hal Hartley movies it goes on and on... Last year I watched some fantastic movies with Jane Wyman, "Johnny Belinda" and of course classics such as, "Sorry, Wrong Number" with Barbara Stanwiyck!
My own life this time around could have been made into a movie. Starring!!! (Brad Pitt would make a nice looking Brenthoven! Or maybe, Ben Afleck!!! I would not mind looking like Ben! A photographer once told me I looked like the actor in "Out of Africa" that played Ms. Streeps British husband! He was a German in real life. I am half Norwegian and half European... Soooooo what ever. My dream has always been to be Brad Pitt in the movie "A River Runs Through". One of my favorite flicks of all time! (I know it can bore the hell out of some of m friends. Sorry, but I think I lived during that time frame and did exactly what Pitt does in that movie!)
This evening's sunset over Lake Wakatipu was breathtakingly beautiful. I will always seek the best of mountain, water and sky each time I am born into this dimension called EARTH LIFE!
Saturday, December 01, 2007
In New Zealand at last!
Landed in Auckland New Zealand yesterday morning around 5:30 AM. Long day of air ports, flights and surrounded by people from all over the world... Connected with my flight to Queenstown. Arrived at noon. The Remarkable were stunning as always. (remember Lord of The Rings? The same mountains, minus the middle earth people...) The taxi driver remembered us from the many years of coming here. He even asked about the famous Lamb Shanks in my restaurant because he visits the web site a few times during the year!
Everything is perfectly beautiful here at 11 - Panorama Place, Queenstown, New Zealand!!! The early spring air and wind still have a slight bite within their teeth but the roses are in bloom and my parsley, mint and chives are thriving. Stocked up on groceries from the local super market. On line once again and enjoying some fantastic Pinot Noir, star light and glorious sun shine! Have many ideas for projects during the next 5 months. Had a light meal with the neighbors last night and enjoyed the conversations. Everything from I phones to used grand pianos!
I have a few books that are "MUST READS" as well as I hope to completely memorize the Rachmaninoff Prelude in G Minor and channel a new composition for piano... Hopefully I will do the gym and take my yearly hike into the bush. (God forbid, not the bush in Washington D.C. or the bush found among women! Not that the woman bush would not be wonderful) I am talking nature here!
Need my Reflexology and massage therapy as well as my left elbow must come right during this time away from Alpine. Will meet up with friends I have not seen for ages and simply having no time schedules is a dream come true!
Off to bed and sweet dreams. Until tomorrow.
Everything is perfectly beautiful here at 11 - Panorama Place, Queenstown, New Zealand!!! The early spring air and wind still have a slight bite within their teeth but the roses are in bloom and my parsley, mint and chives are thriving. Stocked up on groceries from the local super market. On line once again and enjoying some fantastic Pinot Noir, star light and glorious sun shine! Have many ideas for projects during the next 5 months. Had a light meal with the neighbors last night and enjoyed the conversations. Everything from I phones to used grand pianos!
I have a few books that are "MUST READS" as well as I hope to completely memorize the Rachmaninoff Prelude in G Minor and channel a new composition for piano... Hopefully I will do the gym and take my yearly hike into the bush. (God forbid, not the bush in Washington D.C. or the bush found among women! Not that the woman bush would not be wonderful) I am talking nature here!
Need my Reflexology and massage therapy as well as my left elbow must come right during this time away from Alpine. Will meet up with friends I have not seen for ages and simply having no time schedules is a dream come true!
Off to bed and sweet dreams. Until tomorrow.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Last night in Wyoming...
Today has been one busy day. Amid snow flurries, some rain and hard winds I finished banking, picked up the last of the prescriptions I needed refilled for the next 6 months and yes, washed the car. The Jeep and the BMW are put away in the garage till spring. We will drive the "Little Red Truck" to Utah. The hard wood floors in the kitchen of the house have been waxed on my hands and knees and the cupboards are clean. All the rooms in the house are ready for the last run through with the vacuum and then the draining of the pipes... Oh God, that is a big job. (One activity that I do not do or participate in anymore.)
I will be off line until the first week in December. I will be in Queenstown New Zealand back with Telecom communications.
Hopefully I will be able to access my blog and continue my writings about what ever I think is of importance to me at the time.
Last night made dinner for two of my best friends Tony & Wayne. I will miss them immensely. Always do. BUT, big surprise. Rutha that I meet up with in New Zealand with every year and usually go for a long hike, tramp, hike, came through Alpine two days ago. She dropped in yesterday morning for a strong coffee in route to the Jackson Hole Air Port. Flying to NY to visit her sister, then flying out to San Francisco to see her brother before flying to NZ. Great to catch up with her. She is a free spirit.
This woman lives out of a back pack. She has things stored all over the globe. Between AZ, WY and NZ. Such a joy to be with.
Thanksgiving will be with family. Christmas will be in beautiful Queenstown. Life is good and I will miss playing on line for a few weeks. Of course there is Barnes and Noble, BUT I AM RATHER A LAZY SLOB WHEN I AM IN UTAH! Wonder why?
I love all of you to pieces. BJ
I will be off line until the first week in December. I will be in Queenstown New Zealand back with Telecom communications.
Hopefully I will be able to access my blog and continue my writings about what ever I think is of importance to me at the time.
Last night made dinner for two of my best friends Tony & Wayne. I will miss them immensely. Always do. BUT, big surprise. Rutha that I meet up with in New Zealand with every year and usually go for a long hike, tramp, hike, came through Alpine two days ago. She dropped in yesterday morning for a strong coffee in route to the Jackson Hole Air Port. Flying to NY to visit her sister, then flying out to San Francisco to see her brother before flying to NZ. Great to catch up with her. She is a free spirit.
This woman lives out of a back pack. She has things stored all over the globe. Between AZ, WY and NZ. Such a joy to be with.
Thanksgiving will be with family. Christmas will be in beautiful Queenstown. Life is good and I will miss playing on line for a few weeks. Of course there is Barnes and Noble, BUT I AM RATHER A LAZY SLOB WHEN I AM IN UTAH! Wonder why?
I love all of you to pieces. BJ
Thursday, November 15, 2007
A most amazing gift!
61 years ago on November 15, 1946 at 8:15PM I was born. Yep, today is the Birthday. Can't say anything is different, but late this afternoon as I was walking by the north window in the kitchen something very bright and orange in color caught my eye. I dashed outside to witness one of the most stunning sunsets!!! What a marvelous gift from the universe on my B. Day!
I have said it many times that after I die I want my ashes spread at sunset. To me a sunset is like the ending climax in a symphony! One amazing element about this sunset was: The pink delicate clouds passing in front of the crest of the moon and a blue sky as the background! The crest of the moon was hanging in the south western sky and the sunset was blazing in all it's symphonic glory toward the north west! The snow capped mountains reflected the fiery light as if the tops of the peaks were in flames! Made for a dynamic birthday candle. I did not have to blow it out! I absorbed the image and caressed it close to my heart. I am so blest to live in two of the most beautiful places on earth and two places with wide open skies!
I have said it many times that after I die I want my ashes spread at sunset. To me a sunset is like the ending climax in a symphony! One amazing element about this sunset was: The pink delicate clouds passing in front of the crest of the moon and a blue sky as the background! The crest of the moon was hanging in the south western sky and the sunset was blazing in all it's symphonic glory toward the north west! The snow capped mountains reflected the fiery light as if the tops of the peaks were in flames! Made for a dynamic birthday candle. I did not have to blow it out! I absorbed the image and caressed it close to my heart. I am so blest to live in two of the most beautiful places on earth and two places with wide open skies!
Monday, November 12, 2007
New Computer!
Last week a rather large box was delivered by FED X. I thought it was stuff for the house. I suddenly realized it was from APPLE, Yep! MAC... It seems that for my Birthday, Christmas and all other occasions that warrent receiving gifts from loved ones are fully covered with this fantastic gift! I love it.
A spankin' brand new Mac-Book Pro. It is gorgeous. I have spent hours on it and with my computer Guru who has been teaching me how to transfer data from my old mac to this new one. (Including my Blog site.) This is the first time I have posted a blog from this computer. This baby will fly to the bottom of the planet end of this month and be pumping 220 volts of electricity through it's veins! The pictures are so perfect. Watched bits of movies last night and was was amazed at the quality of resolution.
We finally had some rain and the mountain peaks are covered with white snow. It is getting colder which is a definite sign that I should be getting out of this climate. Also sea level is so nice for breathing! Will be in New Zealand around December 1, 2007.
Have lots to write about, but want to play with other features on my new lover! (So sexual!) I will never eat an apple without thinking of the wonderful apple on the cover of my Mac Book. Apples are good for you.
A spankin' brand new Mac-Book Pro. It is gorgeous. I have spent hours on it and with my computer Guru who has been teaching me how to transfer data from my old mac to this new one. (Including my Blog site.) This is the first time I have posted a blog from this computer. This baby will fly to the bottom of the planet end of this month and be pumping 220 volts of electricity through it's veins! The pictures are so perfect. Watched bits of movies last night and was was amazed at the quality of resolution.
We finally had some rain and the mountain peaks are covered with white snow. It is getting colder which is a definite sign that I should be getting out of this climate. Also sea level is so nice for breathing! Will be in New Zealand around December 1, 2007.
Have lots to write about, but want to play with other features on my new lover! (So sexual!) I will never eat an apple without thinking of the wonderful apple on the cover of my Mac Book. Apples are good for you.
Monday, November 05, 2007
Water Boarding? Thank God for Keith Olbermann
I watched Countdown with keith Olbermann tonight!
Dear God, what a horrible administration we are living under. Water Boarding is not torture? Keith's speech was spell binding. Keith Olbermann has balls. He has courage and his fearless attack against this idiot President and VP is refreshing as a a clean glass of cool water. Water made from clean snow that falls from a blue sky filled with pure air!
Thank God, the Universe, the Goddess what ever one wishes to call the REAL GUIDING FORCE behind this planet's evolution into something beyond dualism and war, hate, fear forever guards us with loving information and guides us into peace...as we live through this nightmare of lies and terror. These goons are the terrorists. They stole two elections from the people, managed to have the congress decree them power that allows them to break all laws of humanity and totally walk away from the constitution! This is a government of secret combinations.
I thought Johnson, Nixon and Ragen were bad, but these two evils in the white house are ruling as dictators in a flat earth society. These two make me believe that reincarnation is a fact! Hitler, Stalin returned?
A Senate and House that are so weak and afraid they cower to his every wish? Where are the radicals, the protesters? Where are the rebels of my generation, the 60's 70's 80's?????? Could it be we have become completely brain dead? No? There are some people in the media and in the world of the web that are making changes. Information is at our fingertips. Peace can and does live within our hearts and minds if we THINK.
If we do not allow anyone else to take our power to think and act according to what is right for us, not what is right for an organization or party. The Republican party has become a blind organized religious sect. Go see the movie Jesus Camp! Look at the Salem burning of women and men thought to be witches. The Popes that have killed in the name of God. I was raised in a church whose founder practiced Polygamy. Three Prophets after him practiced polygamy. Nice life for women? Now that church I was raised in condems the Warren Jeffs of the FLDS but where did he get his beliefs? From Joseph Smith and the 1830 edition of the Doctrine & Convenants... Dogma! BLINDED BY FEAR OF GOD. God is NOT FEAR. God is FREEDOM.
This administration in Washington DC have used the greatest cared in the deck: The Religious Fear Card. The bible says the god of the old testament is a JEALOUS GOD! WHAT IN HELL IS THAT? God is supposed to be perfect? He/she is beyond Jealousy! Stick with Christ. He would have forgiven the Saudis and Afghanis that bombed the twin towers. He would have loved his enemies... go figure!
The Golden Secret is: The enemy is within! We are more than our bodies and NO ONE CAN HURT OR CONTROL YOU IF YOU DO NOT COOPERATE WITH THEM! YOU AND I OWN TWO THINGS: OUR MINDS AND SOULS!
I'm embracing my hippie philosophy: Make Love not War. Peace not War. Forgiveness is the key to everything.
Dear God, what a horrible administration we are living under. Water Boarding is not torture? Keith's speech was spell binding. Keith Olbermann has balls. He has courage and his fearless attack against this idiot President and VP is refreshing as a a clean glass of cool water. Water made from clean snow that falls from a blue sky filled with pure air!
Thank God, the Universe, the Goddess what ever one wishes to call the REAL GUIDING FORCE behind this planet's evolution into something beyond dualism and war, hate, fear forever guards us with loving information and guides us into peace...as we live through this nightmare of lies and terror. These goons are the terrorists. They stole two elections from the people, managed to have the congress decree them power that allows them to break all laws of humanity and totally walk away from the constitution! This is a government of secret combinations.
I thought Johnson, Nixon and Ragen were bad, but these two evils in the white house are ruling as dictators in a flat earth society. These two make me believe that reincarnation is a fact! Hitler, Stalin returned?
A Senate and House that are so weak and afraid they cower to his every wish? Where are the radicals, the protesters? Where are the rebels of my generation, the 60's 70's 80's?????? Could it be we have become completely brain dead? No? There are some people in the media and in the world of the web that are making changes. Information is at our fingertips. Peace can and does live within our hearts and minds if we THINK.
If we do not allow anyone else to take our power to think and act according to what is right for us, not what is right for an organization or party. The Republican party has become a blind organized religious sect. Go see the movie Jesus Camp! Look at the Salem burning of women and men thought to be witches. The Popes that have killed in the name of God. I was raised in a church whose founder practiced Polygamy. Three Prophets after him practiced polygamy. Nice life for women? Now that church I was raised in condems the Warren Jeffs of the FLDS but where did he get his beliefs? From Joseph Smith and the 1830 edition of the Doctrine & Convenants... Dogma! BLINDED BY FEAR OF GOD. God is NOT FEAR. God is FREEDOM.
This administration in Washington DC have used the greatest cared in the deck: The Religious Fear Card. The bible says the god of the old testament is a JEALOUS GOD! WHAT IN HELL IS THAT? God is supposed to be perfect? He/she is beyond Jealousy! Stick with Christ. He would have forgiven the Saudis and Afghanis that bombed the twin towers. He would have loved his enemies... go figure!
The Golden Secret is: The enemy is within! We are more than our bodies and NO ONE CAN HURT OR CONTROL YOU IF YOU DO NOT COOPERATE WITH THEM! YOU AND I OWN TWO THINGS: OUR MINDS AND SOULS!
I'm embracing my hippie philosophy: Make Love not War. Peace not War. Forgiveness is the key to everything.
Sunday, November 04, 2007
Central Park
One of my favorite places in Central Park. This is the Angel Fountain used in the Movie: "Angels In America".
Photo of the 8 guys I traveled to NYC with. Notice the pigeon sitting on the angel's head. Next is a shot of the fountain taken from the bridge above it. No autumn colors like years past. Interesting fact, the man that died during the NY Marathon this week died at the Boat house just off to the left of these photos. A place I always have lunch! Nice place to pass over to the other side!
Thursday, November 01, 2007
NYC 2007
For me, NYC is one magical adventure. Working in the business 7 days a week, up to 14 hours a day for 5 months becomes a safe institution with challenges, but for the most part you are doing the 'same ole, same ole' every day. Suddenly stepping out of the uniform every day meaning chef jacket, cap and Crocks into jeans, boots, shirts seems strange, but then to re-unite with my piano is a thrill. Preparing for a performance class at Carol Montparker's Studio in Huntington, NY.
Flew from SLC to JFK non-stop. 9 guys from WY and ID on a plane and only three of the nine had ever been in NYC before!
Landing was perfect, great ride into the city. Stayed at a lovely hotel, The Wolcott on 31st between 5th Ave. and Broadway.
After settling in the rooms we all walked to Times Square. So many people and such bustling energy. A complete upside down situation from where we came from! We purchased Metro Passes for the Subways and sure enough hopped on one to the famous Christopher Street. Took the guys to the famous Stone Wall Bar. The beginning of the Gay Movement in America exploded into reality in that bar in 1969. I remember it well... and not without strange emotions as I was in NYC in 1969. After the walk through memory lane we took the subway to the hotel and slept in anticipation of the next day.
Most everyone did their own thing. Monday was spent in Central Park. The park is simply wonderful. Many photos. Had lunch at the Boat House. Walked until my feet were screaming for relief.
I waited for the guys to catch up with me at the Entrance into the park near Columbus Square. While standing in the hot sunshine, watching a tap dancer entertain the people, a filming crew showed up and began interviewing people, asking questions regarding health. It seemed from out of no where they suddenly were interviewing me! Filming the entire event!!! I answered the questions regarding everything from cancers to depression and signed the release to use my face and silly answers on the cable show they were filming for.
After another walk through the park three of us went to what used to be the Metrople Restaurant in the Village for dinner. It is now "Les Deux Gamins" at 189 W. 10th St. Great food. Then a walk about the villiage and home to bed.
Tuesday was a special day. I spent the day in one the most sacred places on the planet: The Metropolitan Museum of Art.
I love this space and the Greek and Roman Saturday were marvelous. I have always fantasized that possibly all these pieces of art actually come to life when the lights go out! The main attraction was the Rembrandt exhibition.
Wednesday: the MOMA. Museum of Modern Art. Here I become crazy! Picasos, and two of my favorite artists, Van Gogh and Monet... Had a deeeeelicious lunch. Sandwich made with Maine lobster, salad and mushroom soup! Then back to the boards, endless miles of breath taking art.
Before going to the MOMA I stopped by Carnegie Hall and purchased my ticket to hear Andras Sshiff play four Beethoven Sonatas. I have never in my life sat in the Parquet section! I blew the money and bought a seat 8th row back center aisle.
The most amazing view of the piano and stage. He played like a GOD! My feet did not touch the ground all the way back to the hotel...
Thursday was another overwhelming event. Alex Grey's Chapel of Sacred Mirrors. I have loved this mans work forever, but finally saw the gallery with my own two eyes. I could write a small book about this place and what was spinning in my head.
Had lunch at a small French Cafe. Tony's back was killing him, so we walked to the Chinese Massage and he had a long massage. Thursday evening I attended my 9th live performance of Phantom of The Opera and yes I cried. I love the music and the story. I believe the Angel of Music caresses my heart and soul more than ever...
Friday walked to Penn Station and took the Long Island Rail to Huntington to perform in a class with my coach, Carol Montparker. Seymour Bernstein was not able to work with me this year so I spent Friday afternoon and evening with the Taubs and next morning awoke to Bach being played on the Steinway. Delicious breakfast and then Carol and I worked on music. Two hours of intense playing and conversation. Exchanging ideas, different ways to approach the music making it more beautiful and enjoyable to perform it.
Took the train back into the city around one PM. My mind spinning with all the ideas and sounds we had created while in Huntington. Met up with Erin in the afternoon. Went to dinner. Then had too much wine! Not good for my body. A bit of wine I love, but I got carried away and suffered in ever so many ways. I have a horrible habit of talking too much when I become inebriated. OMG, way toooooo much. It is forgiven and I will behave for a long time.
Sunday, off to JFK and flight home. Spent the night with my family in Utah and then drove the 4 hours to WY. Came home to beautiful weather and lots of work yet to do, but above all else I am a blest man to have experienced and to continue to live the adventure I find irresistible and so delicious. Life is good. New Zealand is on the horizon.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
First big snow fall
I awoke to a winter wonderland this morning. It has not really stopped snowing on and off all day. Tomorrow hopefully the
roads will be plowed enough to drive to Utah. I may take my laptop to NYC with me this year so as to blog and keep up on
e mails. We will see come morning!
Get to packing Brent!
These photos were taken from my bedroom window mid morning today!
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
The Little Red Truck
For years we have talked about purchasing a used pick up truck for carrying lumber, garbage, equipment and other big stuff...
End of August I mentioned it to one of my girls that helps me cook as well as waits tables in my restaurant. She became all excited and said,
"I want to find this for you! You want a Toyota. It is the best. My brother knows where and what to look for." I trust this woman with my life because she is a dear friend as well as a honest, loyal employee.
Sure enough she found me a truck within hours. I wrote at check for a hefty sum of money and she drove to Idaho Falls where she would purchase the truck! She came flying into the parking lot of the business around 11:30 PM on September 1. Well here it is! I love it. See, if you live long enough you are supposed to get everything you ever wanted plus maybe some extra things you don't even know your gonna get! Liza M. sings a song that goes something like: "I met a man he drives a
truck. He's mighty dumb but he sure can - - - -......DRIVE!" Well, I did not get a dumb man with the truck, but it sure can drive.
The next photo is of the flower box on my patio dining area. Had to pull the gorgeous things yesterday. Sad, but fall time is turning into snow later tonight...
Friday, October 12, 2007
physio therapy
Last February in Queenstown, New Zealand I was working out at the QT Gym, doing skullies on about the forth rep I felt a
pain beyond words. It was if someone had stabbed my elbow with a butcher knife. Since that afternoon I have never been without pain... Four doctors have X-rayed my elbow... Arthritis, etc. etc. etc. finally I went to a phyiso therapist. Know one will believe it, but they discovered that I have torn a part of the triceps... three heads on the large muscle. I am finally finding relief and yes, I am taking a powerful anti-inflammatory drug, however with the therapy I will be able to play again and even lift weights. Amazing. I am learning that at the age of nearly 62 one does not lift nearly 30 pound dumb bells over one's head without injury... Listen to your body and act your age!
pain beyond words. It was if someone had stabbed my elbow with a butcher knife. Since that afternoon I have never been without pain... Four doctors have X-rayed my elbow... Arthritis, etc. etc. etc. finally I went to a phyiso therapist. Know one will believe it, but they discovered that I have torn a part of the triceps... three heads on the large muscle. I am finally finding relief and yes, I am taking a powerful anti-inflammatory drug, however with the therapy I will be able to play again and even lift weights. Amazing. I am learning that at the age of nearly 62 one does not lift nearly 30 pound dumb bells over one's head without injury... Listen to your body and act your age!
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Boise
Boise Idaho is one of my favorite places on earth! Possibly because of such priceless artistic friends and the young people I have the blessing of coaching when I am at my dear friend Shirley T's home. The walls are covered in art work. Oil paintings created by her friends as well as photos and mementos of outstanding musicians. She has bits and pieces of Native American Indian influences every where the eye can see. She is one of the angels on this planet and is willing to share with so many.
I arrived on Friday afternoon. Early that evening she had 7 of her painting friends and their husbands in for a lovely meal. Two students performed and then I played. What a celebration. After everyone left Shirley and I sat up with a bottle of Pinot Noir
Wine, my favorite wine, and talked until three in the morning! I had to be up and ready at 10 AM for my first master class.
After coaching four wonderfully talented pianists. Shirley took me to one of my favorite restaurants for lunch. Back to her home where I gave two private piano lessons to outstanding young men. I had a massage scheduled at 4:30 with a man that has magic hands. Barley made it to the appointment but as always Bert released so much tension and erased pain that has been plaguing me in my right leg. Enough! We headed home made sandwiches coffee and relaxed. As the evening unfolded we poured more wine and cheese, jumped from one subject to the other and ended up being up until nearly 2:30 AM!
Sunday had my horoscope read by Clinton. Always a insightful and "wake up call" regarding who I am and where I am going. After the 3 and a half hour session with him off to the Mall. Dinner at a wonderful restaurant and again chatter and bonding until the wee hours of the morning. Monday morning off to the Air Port. Flew from Boise to SLC and then into IF.
I may be selfish but I treasure these events where I can be totally me and not worry about what I look like or say as well as be in complete harmony with my spirit. I am a blest man. Thank you Shirley.
I arrived on Friday afternoon. Early that evening she had 7 of her painting friends and their husbands in for a lovely meal. Two students performed and then I played. What a celebration. After everyone left Shirley and I sat up with a bottle of Pinot Noir
Wine, my favorite wine, and talked until three in the morning! I had to be up and ready at 10 AM for my first master class.
After coaching four wonderfully talented pianists. Shirley took me to one of my favorite restaurants for lunch. Back to her home where I gave two private piano lessons to outstanding young men. I had a massage scheduled at 4:30 with a man that has magic hands. Barley made it to the appointment but as always Bert released so much tension and erased pain that has been plaguing me in my right leg. Enough! We headed home made sandwiches coffee and relaxed. As the evening unfolded we poured more wine and cheese, jumped from one subject to the other and ended up being up until nearly 2:30 AM!
Sunday had my horoscope read by Clinton. Always a insightful and "wake up call" regarding who I am and where I am going. After the 3 and a half hour session with him off to the Mall. Dinner at a wonderful restaurant and again chatter and bonding until the wee hours of the morning. Monday morning off to the Air Port. Flew from Boise to SLC and then into IF.
I may be selfish but I treasure these events where I can be totally me and not worry about what I look like or say as well as be in complete harmony with my spirit. I am a blest man. Thank you Shirley.
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Past, Future...
Finally, closed the business Sunday evening. September 30th. 2007 proved to be one of our biggest seasons ever. My body tells me it was enormously hard work! Operating a fine restaurant is like producing a broadway play... There are many players behind the scenes that make the events on stage possible. Candles have to be changed, flowers arranged, table clothes and silver cleaned, orders for products must be made in time for delivery when the food is fresh and can be prepared for the day it is to be served. Food items, dishes washed and polished, salads made, food prepped and the list is endless however, when everything is in sync it becomes a magical symphonic performance that can rival most Broadway plays.
Within every working kitchen you will find each worker sharing his and her personal dramas which runs the gamut of emotions. Love affairs, anger with parents, headaches, financial problems, political and religious differences the list is endless.
My little space becomes a rollicking universe of love, an emotional roller-coasters that can change within a heart beat and lots of laughter and the tears.
For the past few days I have worked hard cleaning, sorting out products, saying goodbyes, and thinking that I have to to get
into my other lifestyle! I will fly to Boise Idaho tomorrow. There I will coach two find pianists for performances and perform a master class. Spend time with a dear friend and healer. I am trying desperately to make friends with a man named: MR. Arther
Itis.
My left elbow is ruining my life. I cannot play at times because of the severe pain. I will find a cure or way to deal with
this bastardly curse! Today I will find my batered suit case, pack some music, note paper and pens, chargers for cell phone, I Pod, and find my camera. Toss in the pills for pain, a change of undies and begin a life that I love so much, sharing music and helping others to love and understand the language it speaks to our hearts, minds and spirits.
Off to NYC end of the month! The autumn colors are gorgeous. Temps are quite cool, but the autumn light is a blessing.
Within every working kitchen you will find each worker sharing his and her personal dramas which runs the gamut of emotions. Love affairs, anger with parents, headaches, financial problems, political and religious differences the list is endless.
My little space becomes a rollicking universe of love, an emotional roller-coasters that can change within a heart beat and lots of laughter and the tears.
For the past few days I have worked hard cleaning, sorting out products, saying goodbyes, and thinking that I have to to get
into my other lifestyle! I will fly to Boise Idaho tomorrow. There I will coach two find pianists for performances and perform a master class. Spend time with a dear friend and healer. I am trying desperately to make friends with a man named: MR. Arther
Itis.
My left elbow is ruining my life. I cannot play at times because of the severe pain. I will find a cure or way to deal with
this bastardly curse! Today I will find my batered suit case, pack some music, note paper and pens, chargers for cell phone, I Pod, and find my camera. Toss in the pills for pain, a change of undies and begin a life that I love so much, sharing music and helping others to love and understand the language it speaks to our hearts, minds and spirits.
Off to NYC end of the month! The autumn colors are gorgeous. Temps are quite cool, but the autumn light is a blessing.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
taking a break
Finally the last of the big bookings are over. Business has slowed to a relaxed pace. One I can live with forever!
I am taking a short break from my blogging. Will resume posts as of September.
I am taking a short break from my blogging. Will resume posts as of September.
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Out of July, into August
I thank the blessed universe that I am out of the month of July. Today is the first day of August and in three weeks
part of my kitchen help will be back in school. Half way through the season. Everyday I gaze into my garden window in
my restaurant kitchen blessing all the tiny rocks, icons, gargoyles and plants. Even the plants began feeling the stress
of July and started diseases... They are healing as of this moment. Whoee. What a month it has been. More will follow in
another blog. Gotta get to work.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
Shakespeare in the Parks
Tonight we are hosting Montana State Universitie's Summer Theater presentation: "Shakespeare in the Parks". Should be
fun IF the rains don't wash away the thespians. Interesting thing: They are not performing a play by Shakespeare
but rather a Bernard Shaw play!
I remember a hundred years ago being in the Greek Summer Festival at what was then Weber State College. I was 21 and
full of cum and not to many brains! But loved the theater. We act the roles and parts we are given every day of our lives.
We have a full house tonight. Lots of dinners. Things are smoothing out. Can't wait to get into August.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
July Maddness...
In my life July seems to always translate into major breakdown or emotional and physical melt down. Problems with staffing, fatigue, heat and always the passing over to the other side of friends and family members.
Sunday, July 15 was my third night of Music Under The Stars. Bryan, (bass player) was able to perform with us. He had been in ICU for days on end but miracles do happen and he is home and was able play the entire gig with the quartet. Alan's wrenched back had come right so he was able to blow his horn like an angel and Stoney was spot on with the drums. Brent was all over the place! I did not feel right late in the afternoon when I was setting up my piano and amps. I had all the prep done, but was so very tired. Well, at the end of the night I fell apart. I was burned out. Everything was pushing me over the top. I cancelled the next three performances. Put a announcement in the paper on Monday the 16, 2007 that there would be no more concert/dance nights. A big decision for Brent!
I have known most of my life that improper diet, lack of sleep and exercise can take me down faster than a speeding bullet! There have been far too many situations occur this July that were beyond my control and it served as a 'wake up call' to STOP some of the many things I have been doing.
Years ago I could work 15 hours, day and night. Party forever, work out, practice piano, read tons of books, take my walks up the river and feel great! This year has been different! Could it be the fact I am getting older? Somethings that used to drive me into distraction do not even phase me anymore, and other things that never had any effect on my well being drive me crazy at times!
Things are mellowing out. I do have great help in my restaurant. I am able to come up to the house in-between shifts and nap, play my piano or go for a long walk before returning to "Brenthoven's Restaurant" until midnight.
My mother came through her surgery beautifully. So many young people have died in accidents this month, as well as a war than never ends... Global warming? OMG this is one of the hottest months on record. Forest fires are burning across the western states like a cancer totally out of control! The lies and BS out of Washington DC is disgusting beyond belief, but the stars are still in place and the moon and it's cycles are in sync. I know August and Sept. will be easier work months and then I spend a few days in Boise Idaho making music. Fly to NYC with friends and make music in Oct. My beloved New Zealand will draw me into her loving arms in December and as the song plays on I will be a part of it's melody... When Bryan was at deaths door in the ICU in Idaho Falls I called on a very special friend to do some spiritual healing work for him. It seemed to have worked! My new recording is selling at a steady pace and miracles are happening all around me, even as I write!
When things slow down a bit, I will write more about the healing episode! Gloria Gaynor sang the longest song in disco history: "I Will Survive" Well, I think I just may survive to tell it all.
Sunday, July 15 was my third night of Music Under The Stars. Bryan, (bass player) was able to perform with us. He had been in ICU for days on end but miracles do happen and he is home and was able play the entire gig with the quartet. Alan's wrenched back had come right so he was able to blow his horn like an angel and Stoney was spot on with the drums. Brent was all over the place! I did not feel right late in the afternoon when I was setting up my piano and amps. I had all the prep done, but was so very tired. Well, at the end of the night I fell apart. I was burned out. Everything was pushing me over the top. I cancelled the next three performances. Put a announcement in the paper on Monday the 16, 2007 that there would be no more concert/dance nights. A big decision for Brent!
I have known most of my life that improper diet, lack of sleep and exercise can take me down faster than a speeding bullet! There have been far too many situations occur this July that were beyond my control and it served as a 'wake up call' to STOP some of the many things I have been doing.
Years ago I could work 15 hours, day and night. Party forever, work out, practice piano, read tons of books, take my walks up the river and feel great! This year has been different! Could it be the fact I am getting older? Somethings that used to drive me into distraction do not even phase me anymore, and other things that never had any effect on my well being drive me crazy at times!
Things are mellowing out. I do have great help in my restaurant. I am able to come up to the house in-between shifts and nap, play my piano or go for a long walk before returning to "Brenthoven's Restaurant" until midnight.
My mother came through her surgery beautifully. So many young people have died in accidents this month, as well as a war than never ends... Global warming? OMG this is one of the hottest months on record. Forest fires are burning across the western states like a cancer totally out of control! The lies and BS out of Washington DC is disgusting beyond belief, but the stars are still in place and the moon and it's cycles are in sync. I know August and Sept. will be easier work months and then I spend a few days in Boise Idaho making music. Fly to NYC with friends and make music in Oct. My beloved New Zealand will draw me into her loving arms in December and as the song plays on I will be a part of it's melody... When Bryan was at deaths door in the ICU in Idaho Falls I called on a very special friend to do some spiritual healing work for him. It seemed to have worked! My new recording is selling at a steady pace and miracles are happening all around me, even as I write!
When things slow down a bit, I will write more about the healing episode! Gloria Gaynor sang the longest song in disco history: "I Will Survive" Well, I think I just may survive to tell it all.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
If music be the food of love, then why am I still cooking?
Because, making delicious, sensuous, nutritious food is exactly like making delicious, sensuous life giving music. Same elements... like making soups. You begin with a lusty bass, be it a vegetable or meat stock, then add a thrilling Tenor that can be meat, vegetables, the Altos sing in a deep throated vibrato of curry, tarragon, rosemary, garlic sometimes basil and other herbs, then you give it the high tones, the sparkling Soprano touch, heavy cream, a dash of red or white wine, possibly fresh green onions and minced garlic or shredded cheeses, sometimes fresh parsley does the trick. All four parts must sing in perfect symphonic harmonics in order for the effects of subject matter, (melody) Harmony (overtones that resonate) color and timber
the thing that catch the eye and heart as well as scent... Ahhhhh the magic of scent. Food radiates a perfum that touches the senses in different ways for each individual person.
This photo was taken by my table attendant yesterday after lunch. I look like I am dazed, possibly drunk on not having enough sleep, but I am happy and NOPE! I am far from being drunk!
Monday, June 18, 2007
Endless days and nights
Have been working night and day. Go to bed 'round 1:00 AM set alarm for 6:30 AM. Stagger around for the coffee maker.
Yesterday cooked over 100 plates and ran out of food...
Father's Day was a hugh brunch and I swear every glass, cup, plate, and piece of flat wear have been washed and polished.
Today will be slower... Make orders, clean stove, clean behind grill, and take a long nap this afternoon before going back at
5:00 PM. I like what I do or else I sure as hell would not be doing it. It kind of amazes me that I am able to do what I have been doing half of my life: Enjoying Healthy Stress Levels!
Will post some photos of the Iris and Lupin. The Lark Spur and Red Rocket wild flowers are gorgeous.
Gotta get off the butt and get to work. Your welcome for breakfast as well as lunch or possibly dinner. The lamb or cod are
to die for!
I'm outta here...
Yesterday cooked over 100 plates and ran out of food...
Father's Day was a hugh brunch and I swear every glass, cup, plate, and piece of flat wear have been washed and polished.
Today will be slower... Make orders, clean stove, clean behind grill, and take a long nap this afternoon before going back at
5:00 PM. I like what I do or else I sure as hell would not be doing it. It kind of amazes me that I am able to do what I have been doing half of my life: Enjoying Healthy Stress Levels!
Will post some photos of the Iris and Lupin. The Lark Spur and Red Rocket wild flowers are gorgeous.
Gotta get off the butt and get to work. Your welcome for breakfast as well as lunch or possibly dinner. The lamb or cod are
to die for!
I'm outta here...
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
The Value of Playing a Musical Instrument
Playing any musical instrument is a way of hands on exploration of the fabric of the universe.
You will discover more about yourself from the daily discipline of practice than any other ritual
or method of fulfillment. You will discover your levels for patience, forgiveness, endurance and
your capacity for experiencing bliss!
Learning to tune the instrument will teach you even more about yourself. Creating and making your
own instrument is the ultimate joy.
I know men that have made amazing dulcimers, drums, harpsichords and horns from natural and
recycled materials. I saw a man in Mexico playing an instrument he had fashioned from a tuna fish
can and guitar strings.
Be it piano, guitar, harmonica, violin or the human singing voice, you are in for a spiritual, expressive
and humbling process. A process that can only give value to your life.
Experiment, touch and listen to instruments. You will find one that expresses you and that part of your
inner soul only the language of musical sound can express.
I know, I know, this all sounds like: "Go blow your horn!", "Follow your own drummer..." "Sing like
no one is listening..." but, making music is a way of integrating one's physical, mental and invisible
parts into one beautiful mind.
You will discover more about yourself from the daily discipline of practice than any other ritual
or method of fulfillment. You will discover your levels for patience, forgiveness, endurance and
your capacity for experiencing bliss!
Learning to tune the instrument will teach you even more about yourself. Creating and making your
own instrument is the ultimate joy.
I know men that have made amazing dulcimers, drums, harpsichords and horns from natural and
recycled materials. I saw a man in Mexico playing an instrument he had fashioned from a tuna fish
can and guitar strings.
Be it piano, guitar, harmonica, violin or the human singing voice, you are in for a spiritual, expressive
and humbling process. A process that can only give value to your life.
Experiment, touch and listen to instruments. You will find one that expresses you and that part of your
inner soul only the language of musical sound can express.
I know, I know, this all sounds like: "Go blow your horn!", "Follow your own drummer..." "Sing like
no one is listening..." but, making music is a way of integrating one's physical, mental and invisible
parts into one beautiful mind.
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Drums
When I turned 40 I wrote a book titled, "A Self-Help Guide for Men Over Forty". I never pursued the effort of having it printed except at my own expense and handed it out to various friends. This evening I was cleaning out my computer desk and in one of my files I discovered a copy of this catalog for men in search of their maleness and self-discovery (as I referred to it at the time I was writing it.)
Well, I began scanning the pages and realized so much of what I had written 20 years ago was still a big part of my on going saga of self-discovery so I have decided to re-write some of the articles in my blog for the next few days. One subject that I
loved was called DRUMMING.
Drumming was one ritual I refused to experience for years. When I finally opened up to the idea it opened a secret place in the heart of a very angry and confused young boy. That boy was me at 40 years of age!
Years ago I attended a conference for men where various workshops, excellent speakers and many tools were presented that would allow a middle aged man to feel comfortable with his maleness. The conference was in Colorado. Sweat Lodges, Group discussions and exercise in Ti Chi and Yoga were on the menu of events.
One evening I was invited to participate in a drumming ceremony. I dressed in cut-offs and a tank-top. The night air was pristine, fragrant with wild flowers and pine. Eight men sat around a roaring fire as the instructor gave a short demonstration on the art of beating a drum. Then came the moment of truth. Each man took a drum in hand and began beating any rhythm he sensed as well as chanting and singing in strange melodies... This was everything I considered bordering on insanity!
Suddenly I was up in the circle beating my drum and humming to myself as the fire and night sky melted into one event.
Then it happened. I began making a strange crying sound from deep inside my guts. I was beating the drum to a pattern of beats that were streaming up and outward from my solar-plexus. I sang, danced and made sounds I thought unimaginable.
After the drumming I wandered off into the hills. Laying on my back against the cool earth and starring into the firmament of sparkling stars I felt tears streaming down my cheeks. My body was still thrumming with the vibrations of the drum-dance experience.
I have no desire to analyze this experience. It is sacred to me and I found it healed something that for years I was not able to put into language. It may not be the right thing for everyone. I did it with no intention of finding enlightenment of any value. No doubt the workshops, group encounters had some impact on me but the drumming was the highlight of the conference.
I found that after years of beating myself up emotionally, the beating of a drum felt so much nicer and answered things I did not understand. Follow your own drummer...You will be happy you did. Be aware that the beating on the skin of the drum can drive some people crazy, so be kind to your neighbors and friends by beating your drum privately where no one will be upset with your ceremony. (OMG, this sounds so sexual!) Well?
Well, I began scanning the pages and realized so much of what I had written 20 years ago was still a big part of my on going saga of self-discovery so I have decided to re-write some of the articles in my blog for the next few days. One subject that I
loved was called DRUMMING.
Drumming was one ritual I refused to experience for years. When I finally opened up to the idea it opened a secret place in the heart of a very angry and confused young boy. That boy was me at 40 years of age!
Years ago I attended a conference for men where various workshops, excellent speakers and many tools were presented that would allow a middle aged man to feel comfortable with his maleness. The conference was in Colorado. Sweat Lodges, Group discussions and exercise in Ti Chi and Yoga were on the menu of events.
One evening I was invited to participate in a drumming ceremony. I dressed in cut-offs and a tank-top. The night air was pristine, fragrant with wild flowers and pine. Eight men sat around a roaring fire as the instructor gave a short demonstration on the art of beating a drum. Then came the moment of truth. Each man took a drum in hand and began beating any rhythm he sensed as well as chanting and singing in strange melodies... This was everything I considered bordering on insanity!
Suddenly I was up in the circle beating my drum and humming to myself as the fire and night sky melted into one event.
Then it happened. I began making a strange crying sound from deep inside my guts. I was beating the drum to a pattern of beats that were streaming up and outward from my solar-plexus. I sang, danced and made sounds I thought unimaginable.
After the drumming I wandered off into the hills. Laying on my back against the cool earth and starring into the firmament of sparkling stars I felt tears streaming down my cheeks. My body was still thrumming with the vibrations of the drum-dance experience.
I have no desire to analyze this experience. It is sacred to me and I found it healed something that for years I was not able to put into language. It may not be the right thing for everyone. I did it with no intention of finding enlightenment of any value. No doubt the workshops, group encounters had some impact on me but the drumming was the highlight of the conference.
I found that after years of beating myself up emotionally, the beating of a drum felt so much nicer and answered things I did not understand. Follow your own drummer...You will be happy you did. Be aware that the beating on the skin of the drum can drive some people crazy, so be kind to your neighbors and friends by beating your drum privately where no one will be upset with your ceremony. (OMG, this sounds so sexual!) Well?
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
Opening a restaurant...
Here is a typical day: Telephone starts ringing around 7:30 AM. I leap out of bed and attempt the "I've been awake for hours enjoying the day" voice.
"Hello! The Nordic Inn." Half the time it is a person from a foreign country asking to speak with the office manager about printer supplies or a bank asking about investing money...
Stranger to the Mr. Coffee Maker. Flip the button to green light. Listen to the gurgling sounds of water as it becomes hot enough to brew my java. I pour a cup and sit on the deck outside my bathroom blinded by the glorious morning light. A choir of wild birds kisses my ear drums as the morning dew releases the scents of sage brush, pine and cedar trees. I have a list of calls to make, but put them off until 11:00 AM.
My dear friend and a great musician, Alan, the Saxophone man arrives for a rehearsal. I have missed making music with my friends. Tomorrow I will play piano with my Bass Man, Bryan. I drive over to the post office, grocery store and hardware store. Manage to find everything on the lists.
Now, make the calls I've put off all morning, meet with my main distributor to see and learn what damage has been done to the prices of meat, veggies, dairy and staples. After this hour of same ole, same ole stuff, I wander to the laundry room and begin washing table clothes, napkins and dish towels. Organizing cupboards and moving sprinklers. It is unseasonably hot! I worry about forest fires...
Call my floor manager, Carly about schedules and who is working. Call accountant about the tax things/ new laws about wages and SS etc. Finally call the State Dept. in Washington D.C. about renewing my passport. Check E mails and even write a few.
Change prices on menu and organize the new menus for printing. Make dinner, plant herbs in pots for use in the restaurant and walk up to the house. I light candles, turn on Marhlar's 5th Symphony and lay on the floor of my bedroom with the cats.
Peace and harmony.
Finally I write a blog! Tomorrow is much the same except I will get the menus printed and wash windows. Cut lawn, paint eves on building and dead head the tulips that have died. Need to place an want add in the paper for house keeping. The woman who was to clean rooms calls today and says "No Can Do!" because the boy friend is going to be sick all summer!
Okay! Someone always comes down the road.
I am now going to read until my eyes fall back into my head and the lids shut tight. Sweet dreams.
"Hello! The Nordic Inn." Half the time it is a person from a foreign country asking to speak with the office manager about printer supplies or a bank asking about investing money...
Stranger to the Mr. Coffee Maker. Flip the button to green light. Listen to the gurgling sounds of water as it becomes hot enough to brew my java. I pour a cup and sit on the deck outside my bathroom blinded by the glorious morning light. A choir of wild birds kisses my ear drums as the morning dew releases the scents of sage brush, pine and cedar trees. I have a list of calls to make, but put them off until 11:00 AM.
My dear friend and a great musician, Alan, the Saxophone man arrives for a rehearsal. I have missed making music with my friends. Tomorrow I will play piano with my Bass Man, Bryan. I drive over to the post office, grocery store and hardware store. Manage to find everything on the lists.
Now, make the calls I've put off all morning, meet with my main distributor to see and learn what damage has been done to the prices of meat, veggies, dairy and staples. After this hour of same ole, same ole stuff, I wander to the laundry room and begin washing table clothes, napkins and dish towels. Organizing cupboards and moving sprinklers. It is unseasonably hot! I worry about forest fires...
Call my floor manager, Carly about schedules and who is working. Call accountant about the tax things/ new laws about wages and SS etc. Finally call the State Dept. in Washington D.C. about renewing my passport. Check E mails and even write a few.
Change prices on menu and organize the new menus for printing. Make dinner, plant herbs in pots for use in the restaurant and walk up to the house. I light candles, turn on Marhlar's 5th Symphony and lay on the floor of my bedroom with the cats.
Peace and harmony.
Finally I write a blog! Tomorrow is much the same except I will get the menus printed and wash windows. Cut lawn, paint eves on building and dead head the tulips that have died. Need to place an want add in the paper for house keeping. The woman who was to clean rooms calls today and says "No Can Do!" because the boy friend is going to be sick all summer!
Okay! Someone always comes down the road.
I am now going to read until my eyes fall back into my head and the lids shut tight. Sweet dreams.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
Comments
As of this afternoon, anyone that wishes to leave a comment after one of my simple blogs may do so. Your message will
pop up at the end of my blog.
Thanks.
pop up at the end of my blog.
Thanks.
Saturday, May 05, 2007
In Wyoming...
Long flight home. Delayed in Auckland due to mechanical problems. Made it into LAX just in time to get through customs,
run to Delta and catch the flight (full of mormons) into Salt Lake City, Utah. My brother was at baggage waiting to return me to family, dry air, high altitude and traffic jams from hell on Inter state I-15. I would become so addicted to xanax if I had to face that high way everyday of my life, I'd no doubt die, either from the smoggy air, or the feeling of claustrophobia being closed up in a car for hours on end.
Spring time in the Rockies is fantastic. The drive to Wyoming was pure joy. Wide open spaces and the scent of sage brush.
Stopped in Evanston. Filled the car with gasoline. Damned near fainted when I paid the bill in SLC, Ut, but WY ?????? We have tons of gasoline under the ground in WY!!! After the gas price adjustment, went to a very dated coffee shop for a cup of the real thing! Yup, very weak coffee and very relaxed. Then drove to Cokeville. Stopped at the truck stop and had lunch.
All the food is PRE-FABRICATED, pre cooked, pre you name it.
Star Valley was a welcome sight. Drove through the valley to Alpine. Everything was in perfect order! Ran to the local grocery and hurriedly stocked up on the bare necessities. Then the moment of truth: I walk into my bedroom/studio/study.
Sat reverently before the finest alter on earth, my piano and played the Prelude in C Major by Bach with my eyes shut!
Blessed the room. Every piece of art, every candle, every book, every stone but most of all my piano.
The photos are of the inside of my restaurant, the outside of the business looking through the gazebo and the house I live in.
It is snowing lightly as I write. Spring is still in the air. Wish all of you could be here with me! But, I send you love and light every day and night when I lift my eyes up to the clouds, stars, sunsets, and moonlight. It's good to be home.
Friday, April 27, 2007
leave New Zealand in the morning...
"Less than a promise have I given, and yet more generous have you been to me.
You have given me deeper thirsting after life...
Surly there is no greater gift to a man than that which turns all his aims into parching
this and all life into a fountain... Kahlil Gibran.
When I fly out of NZ tomorrow I will be returning to these aspen trees. They have bark like a
parchment upon which nature writes her sacred poetry. These trees live behind the house I live
in when I am in Alpine, Wyoming.
When I am asleep I dwell with each and everyone of you in a very private place. Keep dreaming.
I'll be seeing you,
With much love from BJ
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
"Paracelsus"
Tomorrow about this time I will post my last blog from Queenstown New Zealand until December of 2007. I will write blogs from Alpine, WY all spring, summer and fall.
I just arrived home from my last Reflexology session for the season. Even I am amazed at the progress I have experienced in my personal journey of "self-discovery and enlightenment."
The left and right sides of my body seem to be very balanced and most happy with each other! I know they are because I feel balanced. For once totally CENTERED! (OMG! Beam me up angel of ..............)
I am reading a book a dear friend recommended I read and came across a poem by Robert Browning. I always loved the Sonnets of Elizabeth Browning (Bob's wife.)
All of my life I seem to always discover delicious truths so succinctly embedded within poetry. As I was driving home from Sunshine Bay I thought of this poem.
PARACELSUS
Truth is within ourselves; it takes no rise
From outward things, what'er you may believe.
There is an inmost centre in us all,
Where truth abides in fulness; and around,
Wall upon wall, the gross flesh hems it in,
This perfect, clear perception - which is truth.
A baffling and perverting carnal mesh
Binds it, and makes all error: and to know
Rather consists in opening out a way
Whence the imprisoned splendor may escape,
Than in effecting entry for a light
Supposed to be without.
I know the same old; same old; same old truth: TRUTH IS WITHIN AND THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE!
It feels so damn good when you actually realize if just for an instant in time, that you really are perfect!
I just arrived home from my last Reflexology session for the season. Even I am amazed at the progress I have experienced in my personal journey of "self-discovery and enlightenment."
The left and right sides of my body seem to be very balanced and most happy with each other! I know they are because I feel balanced. For once totally CENTERED! (OMG! Beam me up angel of ..............)
I am reading a book a dear friend recommended I read and came across a poem by Robert Browning. I always loved the Sonnets of Elizabeth Browning (Bob's wife.)
All of my life I seem to always discover delicious truths so succinctly embedded within poetry. As I was driving home from Sunshine Bay I thought of this poem.
PARACELSUS
Truth is within ourselves; it takes no rise
From outward things, what'er you may believe.
There is an inmost centre in us all,
Where truth abides in fulness; and around,
Wall upon wall, the gross flesh hems it in,
This perfect, clear perception - which is truth.
A baffling and perverting carnal mesh
Binds it, and makes all error: and to know
Rather consists in opening out a way
Whence the imprisoned splendor may escape,
Than in effecting entry for a light
Supposed to be without.
I know the same old; same old; same old truth: TRUTH IS WITHIN AND THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE!
It feels so damn good when you actually realize if just for an instant in time, that you really are perfect!
The Photo Facial...
I have wanted this procedure ever since last summer when a woman and man in their mid 50's were at the Nordic Inn and I was amazed at their clear and healthy facial complexions. I complemented them on having such great looking skin.
They told me that they had had a "photo-facial" treatment. The wife had worked for a very famous plastic surgeon on the east coast. I decided I would have one of these treatments when I was in New Zealand this year.
NZ did not have the rights to the medications etc. for this treatment when I arrived in December but, they were aware of it's magic. Finally, the "stuff" was made available to my skin Doctor. New Zealand and Australia have the highest numbers of skin cancers in the world. The hole in the ozone is over the southern hemisphere.
On April 19th l went to the Queenstown Clinic and had Photo facial. Very expensive. I will not say how much!
They cleanse your face, then apply a solution that will ONLY ACT UPON THE PRE CANCEROUS and SUN DAMAGED areas. It does not erase freckles, or moles. You have to sit four hours for the solution to begin to attack the diseased areas. After 4 hours of reading, meditating, daydreaming all of which I am very adept, they take you into a room, place cool damp pads over your eyes, then apply a very thick gooey substance to half of your face and then begin the "ZAPPING". I will admit it hurt. Like an elastic band being snapped against your skin, but on your most sensitive skin. I have a low tolerance for pain so I gritted my teeth and went along with it.
After the right side was attacked, they applied the solution to the left side of my face and neck. Once again the zapping. I then was told to not what so ever go near sunlight or bright lights. 48 hours spent inside the house!
I could go insane without my walks, outside air and light. However, I stayed inside the house, packing, cleaning, organizing things to return to the states on the 28th. I had to take a steroid pill to keep the swelling down and apply a vitamin C compound because Brenthoven will not apply chemicals to his space suit unless a gun is held to his head! They also did the treatment to the backs of my hands. I was not aware of how much damage one's hands endure from working in gardens, cooking, cleaning elements and water, wind, fire and earth all in one day!!!!!!! WHEEEeeeee!
Mind you, I was leery of this as my hands are an extension of my very heart and soul. The backs of my hand burned after the treatments.
Tonight is April 25th, tomorrow will mark a week since the treatment. Tiny blackish specks have erupted on the areas that were damaged. I can see a difference in the balance of my over all appearance. They said it would take up to a month or more to actually sense and see a difference in the skin tone and pigmentation.
Anything that helps prevent skin cancer is of great value as I have a friend that has had two serious operations on his face and ear as I write this. It is not a laughing subject.
I would not recommend the procedure for a person that has perfectly healthy skin! It does not erase lines, wrinkles and your DNA pigmentation, but it does kill off cancer cells and balance the PH of your epidermis.
I hope to see good results by next month. So far, so good. There are a number of other treatments out there in the medical world that probably work as well, but after seeing what it had done for two people last summer at my business I wanted it.
After I post this, I am writing a true story about aging that I learned from a stranger that came to my restaurant for lunch one afternoon in the about 1990. I know one should manifest the "Laws of Attraction" and CURE their bodies of certain diseases and problems, but I also think the 'almighty' manifests certain truths to the schools of medicine and science that help and cure many problems.
I will keep the skin situation going and updated. I have to remember, I worshipped El Sol. I love sunlight. I love being in it's glory and brillance.
I have often told people that after 50 I take "MOON BATHS" not "SUN BATHS". It works. El Luna is divine!
They told me that they had had a "photo-facial" treatment. The wife had worked for a very famous plastic surgeon on the east coast. I decided I would have one of these treatments when I was in New Zealand this year.
NZ did not have the rights to the medications etc. for this treatment when I arrived in December but, they were aware of it's magic. Finally, the "stuff" was made available to my skin Doctor. New Zealand and Australia have the highest numbers of skin cancers in the world. The hole in the ozone is over the southern hemisphere.
On April 19th l went to the Queenstown Clinic and had Photo facial. Very expensive. I will not say how much!
They cleanse your face, then apply a solution that will ONLY ACT UPON THE PRE CANCEROUS and SUN DAMAGED areas. It does not erase freckles, or moles. You have to sit four hours for the solution to begin to attack the diseased areas. After 4 hours of reading, meditating, daydreaming all of which I am very adept, they take you into a room, place cool damp pads over your eyes, then apply a very thick gooey substance to half of your face and then begin the "ZAPPING". I will admit it hurt. Like an elastic band being snapped against your skin, but on your most sensitive skin. I have a low tolerance for pain so I gritted my teeth and went along with it.
After the right side was attacked, they applied the solution to the left side of my face and neck. Once again the zapping. I then was told to not what so ever go near sunlight or bright lights. 48 hours spent inside the house!
I could go insane without my walks, outside air and light. However, I stayed inside the house, packing, cleaning, organizing things to return to the states on the 28th. I had to take a steroid pill to keep the swelling down and apply a vitamin C compound because Brenthoven will not apply chemicals to his space suit unless a gun is held to his head! They also did the treatment to the backs of my hands. I was not aware of how much damage one's hands endure from working in gardens, cooking, cleaning elements and water, wind, fire and earth all in one day!!!!!!! WHEEEeeeee!
Mind you, I was leery of this as my hands are an extension of my very heart and soul. The backs of my hand burned after the treatments.
Tonight is April 25th, tomorrow will mark a week since the treatment. Tiny blackish specks have erupted on the areas that were damaged. I can see a difference in the balance of my over all appearance. They said it would take up to a month or more to actually sense and see a difference in the skin tone and pigmentation.
Anything that helps prevent skin cancer is of great value as I have a friend that has had two serious operations on his face and ear as I write this. It is not a laughing subject.
I would not recommend the procedure for a person that has perfectly healthy skin! It does not erase lines, wrinkles and your DNA pigmentation, but it does kill off cancer cells and balance the PH of your epidermis.
I hope to see good results by next month. So far, so good. There are a number of other treatments out there in the medical world that probably work as well, but after seeing what it had done for two people last summer at my business I wanted it.
After I post this, I am writing a true story about aging that I learned from a stranger that came to my restaurant for lunch one afternoon in the about 1990. I know one should manifest the "Laws of Attraction" and CURE their bodies of certain diseases and problems, but I also think the 'almighty' manifests certain truths to the schools of medicine and science that help and cure many problems.
I will keep the skin situation going and updated. I have to remember, I worshipped El Sol. I love sunlight. I love being in it's glory and brillance.
I have often told people that after 50 I take "MOON BATHS" not "SUN BATHS". It works. El Luna is divine!
Sunday, April 22, 2007
More photos of the walk...
First photo taken at the beginning of the trail. Second photo taken after driving into Alexandra and purchasing a rain poncho
for Brent, then drive back to Clyde to start the walk and the rain stopped!
Third photograph at the air port saying farewell as Rutha begins her long journey back to LAX, then into AZ and then back to Hawaii and onto her next job at Palmyra Atoll in the Pacific Ocean.
Now I begin my duties of setting things in order here in QT so I can fly back to LAX and on into Utah Saturday the 28
of April. From there we drive to WY. Will be home in Alpine sometime on May 2nd. Back to my work, mountains, piano, cats, loyal friends and a much higher altitude! Life is wonderful!
Friday, April 20, 2007
A walk through Queenstown Gardens...
I had a photo/facial yesterday. Took 5-6 hours... Long day. For two days no sunlight! So, I am locked inside the house doing big gurl things like: cleaning, sorting through letters,
stuff... I am going crazy without my walk through the park, so I look at photos I've taken this year. You would love this
park.
BTW it took 60 years of abuse in the sun to get these tattoos on my face, neck, ear lobe. It only takes three days to hopefully get them off! We'll see. It hurt. Do not do this treatment unless you have to.
Go for a walk with big hats and lots of what ever it is # 15 sun guard, but that is not good enough. SP-15 something is not right. They lied to us. You need something stronger. I will tell ya what it is soon... when I get the facts from the Doctor.
I did go for a walk about 8:00 PM this evening in the dark! Do I mind? No, I am quite comfortable with nocturnal only thing is there were hardly any stars and the moon is gone. So it was dark, but there were young people drinking and eating in the Brazze Cafe Wine Bar and tons of kids at the Pig & Whistle Bar screaming as well as the Back Packer's Night & Day Store was jammed with 20 to 40 year olds getting food for their tramps.
Me, I went to Henry's Store of Spirits and purchased a bottle of wine. Walked to the 4 Square Super Market and bought sandwich ham, cheese, butter, eggs, chicken breasts, beef mince, hard rolls and scorched almonds!
Far too many people in the town for me, so I took a taxi home.
Am quite content being in my studio with my candles,
computer and music.
I'll be seeing you.
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
It's a wonderful world!
What with all the problems of the shootings in VA and the endless war against WMD in Iraq, I am a blest man to have a fantastic metaphysical teacher, a divine Goddess, Diviana, that often kicks my ass with great force into awareness but always the kick is a lightening bolt of love.
I have my Reflexogogist, one of the angels of the planet, who can take me places I never dreamed I could reach and heal myself from within my mind.
I have a pretty interesting astrologer. He had somethings on his site today that made me happy. Of course I am going to share them... but I must explain the photos...
The photos are of behind the house in Alpine WY Oct. of 2004. I took the other photo standing on the banks of the Snake River, just across the hi-way from my house in WY same day, looking at the mighty mountains I am so blest to live in... the Rocky Mountains. They begin in the Canadian Rockies and reach all the way into Mexico. A mighty power of energy and the Tetons that I choose to live close to are one of the mighty sacred power grids on planet earth. Yes, Yellowstone National Park may blow up one day, but what an amazing climax I will enjoy!
Here are some facts to make one happy!
* The world has become dramatically more peaceful since 1992. The number of wars, coup d'etats, and acts of genocide has declined by 40%. Weapons sales between countries have dropped 33% during the same time, and the number of refugees has diminished by 45%.
* The cause of these shocking developments, according the the Human Security Report, which did the study, is the unprecedented upsurge of international activism, spearheaded by the United Nations.
* The violent crime rate has decreased 50% since 1993. Crime is now at it's lowest level since it was first officially tracked.
* The average human life expectancy is 30 years more than it was a century ago, and is still climbing. Many scientists believe there is no absolute limit to the human life span.
* Levels of literacy and education and political freedom and wealth are steadily growing all over the world.
* Death rates from cancers are declining.
* Child abduction by strangers has dropped precipitously.
* In 60 years, there hasn't been a lower birth rate among teen age girls than there is now.
* The world's largest freshwater system, the Great Lakes, is dramatically purifying itself of the pollutants that human beings dumped into it.
* If forced to decide between having a bigger penis and living in a world where there was no war, 90% of all men would pick universal peace.
* The number of American's black elected officials has sextupled since 1970.
* Rising rates of intermarriage are helping to dissipate ethnic and religious strife worldwide.
* The rivers and bays of New York City are reborn, having been cleansed of raw sewage and industrial pollution in recent years.
* You have at least a million relatives as close as tenth cousin, and no one on Earth is any farther removed than your 50th cousin.
* The world's largest private bank, Citicorp, has agreed to stop financing projects that damage sensitive ecosystems.
* The giant timber company Congolaise Industrielle des Bois, voluntarily agreed to stop cutting down trees in virgin rain forests in the Congo.
* The miracle of your breathing transpires about 10 million times a year, even though you never have to think about it.
* Diamonds rain from the sky on Uranus and Neptune.
* With every dawn, when first light penetrates the sea, many sea horse colonies perform a dance to the sun!
* The World Health Organization reports that over 100 million acts of sexual intercourse, involving more than 200 million partners, take place on the earth every 24 hours!
* Most HMO executives NOW BELIEVE PRAYER & MEDITATION can expedite the healing process.
* Vast supplies of frozen natural gas lie beneath the oceans, harboring more potential energy than all the world's oil reserves, and could be mined with the right technology.
IT'S NOT A BAD PLANET and MOST PEOPLE I MEET ARE AMAZING BLESSINGS UPON MY HEAD, HEART & SOUL! Even though some will say B.S. to this report. My partner said it was pure B.S. What ever, I like it.
Sleep tight. BJ
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Rail Trail Walk
Great walk, but as always a few challenges along the way.That being the weather.
Michael drove us out to Clyde where we planned to start the walk into Alexandra. A very easy, short walk. Around five miles. Get into our accommodation, relax, walk into town and have a great meal at the Red Brick Cafe. The weather turned frightful. Rain from hell and winds. I had forgotten my rain poncho! We could not purchase one in Clyde, so we drove to Alexandra, ran through the teeming rain and found a rain poncho. Drove back to Clyde hoisted the packs on our backs, put our best foot forward and entered the storm.
It stopped raining. See, there was a reason why I forgot the poncho and that short delay gave way to some sunshine! Alexandra was great. Food as always (for me), perfect at the Brick Cafe. Walked back to the motel. Up early and walked into the town for breakfast, then out on the trail.
These two photos are of day two. The sky was absolutely full of magic. Clouds were dancing into all kinds of formations. Long walk to Chatto Creek Tavern. We spent the night there with the locals! I have forgotten how refreshing real southern Kiwis are. ( Queenstown is so full of money and glitz!)
Leslie the owner of the tavern called me on my cell phone about 5:00 PM while we were walking to make sure we were okay and coming! IS THAT AMAZING! We had slogged along with a long lunch break of cheese, crackers, apples some wine...
We arrived at Chatto Creek Tavern, where we were greeted by the woman behind the bar who was so friendly. Then Leslie came out to greet us. What a 'hard case' as they say in New Zealand, but a heart as big as the world and she had the blankets warming on our beds, scruffy clean towns and linens that had been dried in the sunshine. Tons of food.
We awoke to a storm from hell. STRONG WINDS, SNOW, VERY COLD TEMPS! Leslie said, "I will not allow the two of yous to go out in this! I mean it. I'll drive you back to Alexandra. This is insane."
Well, we ate our huge breakfast, lots of coffee and took our time getting our gear in order. Finally a blue crack in the dark wet sky. "Let's GO!" I exclaimed. We took off and we hit cold, snow, winds and the steepest parts of the trail are in this section which is 11 miles to Omakau. It was a challenge. We made it into Omakau at about 4:00PM Dead on our Feet.
Friday night at the local pub is a full on event. We had a pizza there and walked to our B&B at the Chapel or Church Hill B&B.
Kevin our host was amazing. He even took us out to St. Bathen's this morning. We had booked transportation back into Clyde the night before. The Connect bus had a very serious 'hiccup' as they say, and did not come for us at 10:30 AM. At noon, we were still standing at the junction. This is the time you thank God for CELL PHONES! Michael was to meet us in Clyde around 11:00 AM after the bus ride, then drive us back to Queenstown. Well, he ended up driving all the way to Omakua and collecting two strange looking wandering souls and transporting us safely back to Queenstown.
I am always amazed at the kindness and beauty of this dimension called life on planet earth! I am now home in my studio, candle light, and writing my blog as I listen to Chopin. I cooked dinner for Rutha, Michael and Anne, myself and our friend from Wellington, Beverly. Perfect night. Calm, a few stars peeking out of the clouds and no wind.
I will write more in a few hours... Sweet Dreams.
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Happy Easter
This is the first photo of my "Open Heart Cross"... I have wanted this piece of jewelry for a long time. A person I met in the old Body Worx Gym in Queenstown years ago, Ross Heywood created this piece of sacred energy! It is a sublime silver cross with a lavender amethyst heart on the left corner of the cross.
Ross is a true artist. When I first met him he was into sculpture work but has evolved into beautiful jewelry.
One day about a month ago I did what is known as IMPULSE BUYING. The Spirit moved me to say YES! I want that! It was a hot beautiful summer day at the art fair. Ross had his display of art pieces laid out in the sunlight.
I told him I had finally decided to purchase the cross. He said, "I will have 2 of these in the states. A woman from California purchased one. He mentioned it would look great when I perform in concert."
He has been to one of my concerts and knows I wear BLACK!
I ran across the way and drew the money out of my ANZ bank account. This blessed thing has been a comfort ever since.
When I watched THE CELESTIAN PROPHECY I was so attracted to Father Sanchezes's crucifix. The silver cross he wears in the out back of Peru... This is something even better.
Yesterday we made our pilgrimage to that splendid lady of the mountains, Mount Cook.
Could not have been a more perfect day. Delicious dinner in the Panorama room. The drive home was pure magic.
The moon was a crimson orange red and the stars were falling from the sky like diamonds. This photo was taken at dinner because I wore the cross in the restaurant. I know they thought I was some old priest that probably molested boys!
There is an old, story about St. Francis of Assisi that fits in here.
"One day in his hillside monastery, the good saint asked a young monk to accompany him down into the nearby village and preach with him. Reaching the village, they walked the length of the main street and back again, and then returned to the monastery.
"But I thought we were going to preach,' exclaimed the young monk when they returned.
"We have been preaching,' St. Francis replied with a smile.
'We were preaching while we were walking.
We have been seen... we have been looked at. . . and our behavior has been noticed. We have delivered a morning sermon. It is no use to walk anywhere to preach, my son, unless we preach as we walk.'"
No words are need to share bliss IF your walk and behavior are in tune with the universe!
Seemed to be a perfect Easter Sunday for Brenthoven!
Thursday, April 05, 2007
Dame Keri TeKanawa & NZ Symphony Orchestra
Last night I attended a completely sold out concert at the Dunedin Town Hall featuring the great Soprano, Dame Keri TeKanawa singing with the NZ Symphony Orchestra. The orchestra was absolutely astounding! The featured work of the concert was the Mahler 4th Symphony.
I grew up in the state of Utah and Maurice Abravenal was the conductor of the Utah Symphony. He adored Mahler. The Utah Symphony recorded all of the Mahler Symphonies under Abravenal. For some listeners Mahler can be very long and boring.
I love his work. The celestial strings... the rustic settings... all kinds of images and emotions.
One of my favorite movies is, "DEATH IN VENICE". It is based on the last few weeks of Mahler's life...
The music in the film of course is Mahler. Dirk Bogart plays the part of Mahler superbly.
Back to the concert. The performance was at 6:30 PM on a Wednesday night! Unusual hour, but it worked. Full house including seats behind the symphony orchestra! Gorgeous autumn evening full of moonlight after the concert. Enjoyed a light meal at The Etruscan Italian Restaurant. A pasta of field mushrooms and parmesan. Walked back to my room at Moray Place and read until I feel asleep.
This morning breakfast at The Nova Cafe beside the Dunedin Art Gallery. Walked over to "TWANG". (remember my blog about Hyrum at Twang who down loaded Garage Band for me?) I gave him a demo CD. Then I walked across the street to the Octagon Used Book Store. This place is right out of London 1900. I did not purchase any books, I browsed through old sheet music!
and some old books on medical remedies from natural herbs. Four hour drive back to Queenstown.
I do love Dunedin.
It was originally the capitol city of NZ. All the banking was done in Dunedin years ago. Always reminds me of San Francisco. I could live in Dunedin. That is where I could have my used book store/ tea room/ B&B/ music store/ Art Gallery/Movie art theater, all under one roof in a very old Kiwi Victorian three story house with a very steep wooden stair case leading up to the vine covered castle.
I'd call it "THE GYPSY MOON"... dreams do come true, at least mine do!
Will write tomorrow... Still dreaming of the music last night.
I grew up in the state of Utah and Maurice Abravenal was the conductor of the Utah Symphony. He adored Mahler. The Utah Symphony recorded all of the Mahler Symphonies under Abravenal. For some listeners Mahler can be very long and boring.
I love his work. The celestial strings... the rustic settings... all kinds of images and emotions.
One of my favorite movies is, "DEATH IN VENICE". It is based on the last few weeks of Mahler's life...
The music in the film of course is Mahler. Dirk Bogart plays the part of Mahler superbly.
Back to the concert. The performance was at 6:30 PM on a Wednesday night! Unusual hour, but it worked. Full house including seats behind the symphony orchestra! Gorgeous autumn evening full of moonlight after the concert. Enjoyed a light meal at The Etruscan Italian Restaurant. A pasta of field mushrooms and parmesan. Walked back to my room at Moray Place and read until I feel asleep.
This morning breakfast at The Nova Cafe beside the Dunedin Art Gallery. Walked over to "TWANG". (remember my blog about Hyrum at Twang who down loaded Garage Band for me?) I gave him a demo CD. Then I walked across the street to the Octagon Used Book Store. This place is right out of London 1900. I did not purchase any books, I browsed through old sheet music!
and some old books on medical remedies from natural herbs. Four hour drive back to Queenstown.
I do love Dunedin.
It was originally the capitol city of NZ. All the banking was done in Dunedin years ago. Always reminds me of San Francisco. I could live in Dunedin. That is where I could have my used book store/ tea room/ B&B/ music store/ Art Gallery/Movie art theater, all under one roof in a very old Kiwi Victorian three story house with a very steep wooden stair case leading up to the vine covered castle.
I'd call it "THE GYPSY MOON"... dreams do come true, at least mine do!
Will write tomorrow... Still dreaming of the music last night.
Monday, April 02, 2007
Balance
Since 1968 I have regarded my mother as a demon.
Not because she ever abused me as a child physically, sexually or even mentally. It all happened because of a tape recording from a man that had fallen in love with me. I was 21. I came home late one evening and found my mother weeping as well as slightly hysterical. She had invaded my privacy. I left that house and never returned with the same sense of freedom or joy I had experienced before that dreadful day.
I was nearly 22 year old then. Now that I am 60 going on 61, and I am most grateful to my mother and the circumstances that brought that MOMENT of "NEVER MORE", to my spiritual and mental life. Because of that event I set upon a Spiritual Path of Awakening that I would have never set foot upon had it not been for the things and events that transpired after that explosion of passion, disappointment and fear!
I returned to NYC and a life of being a gay man. I turned to alcohol and other means of escape. I grew bitter towards the Mormon Church, I hated WOMEN most of all because THEY HAVE caused me more pain and suffering than there are words for.
When I was 15, I was seduced by a Mormon Bishop's wife. (That will kill some people when they read that.)
I carried that inside my soul for years, because it went on with the same woman for years.
Then my mother turned on me over a love affair with a man older than myself. The story goes on and on...
Here is the interesting part... The Bishop's wife introduced me to Keats and Shelly, Shakespeare and Kahlil Gibran. Debussy, my future piano teacher and the world of Jazz and Ballet. NO CHARGE EXCEPT MY SEXUAL PERFORMANCE!!!
My mother opened a door of my going "OUT ON A LIMB" to find truth, from reincarnation to science of the mind... Metaphysics.
I could have been an average band or music teacher in the public schools. Had 4 or 5 children. Paid my taxes and died a revered loved man... Been there done that somewhere in my other lives.
This time around it was for going into a new and powerful dimension.
Being overtly gay is not being in touch with one's feminine self. It is being totally out of touch with your female self. It is a trick of the EGO! (I know some of you will shake your heads and say what the fuck!) For me it was and is true. My ego is my curse!
I mean it. Being overtly masculine is not being in touch with your masculine energy or your male self. It is a trick of the ego!
I know MACHO men that HATE GAYS! WHY? I know Gay men that fear and hate MACHO MEN, WHY?
My Ego had me desiring sex with men or women, not as a CELEBRATION but as a NEED. Like a drug, like a power beyond my control...
I thank my mother even though she is unaware of the fact, she set me on a path of truth I shall always be thankful for. I am now learning that sex is a glorious celebration within one's spiritual and cosmic self. It is glorious and beautiful.
The FEMINE POWER IS A POWER I NEVER DREAMED POSSIBLE. The MALE POWER IS A POWER THAT CANNOT EXIST WITHOUT THE FEMALE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (go figure?)
As a spiritual guide of mine told me:
"When you can face back toward your TRUE MOTHER, even if you have to do it through FAITH in the BEGINNING of all things, you WILL find " The Left Side of your BODY functioning in perfect harmony with the right side of your body, with no need of denial or anything else. You WILL not just be "ONE HAPPY MAN"... you will be in BLISS... Because in truth, we are all swimming in an ocean of bliss, we just have to become aware of it."
"I know this from personal experience! If you decide to find this for yourself Brent, you will want to kiss your mother's lily white ass for being such a bitch because she drove you to YOUR HIGHEST TRUTH!"
Well truth is, I will kiss my mother's cheeks and leave her lily white ass for her to sit upon. BUT IT IS TRUE.
Balance... Equilibrium... Harmony... Tough shit to say yes to, but for ME it worked. CELEBRATE. Go listen to the music!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)