cleance for 5 months

Preludes & Fugues
Yesterday we received word that we are cleared for a 5 month visa to New Zealand!
The dream was to spend 6 month in New Zealand and 6 months state side. Well, the dream is coming true! So we are scheduled to fly to NZ on November 30, 2006 and return April 28th of 2007. Christmas and New Years down under! PLUS 5 months at a fabulous gym, time to hike, sleep, read and do absolutely only things I dream of like: staring at a rose blossom for hours, people watching, attending great concerts and movies and most of all creating new tunes. Writing and experiencing moments of self-discovery!
I am now changing planes for NYC and other events.
It will be a crazy time to get projects and deadlines behind me before November 30th, but I bet I can do it!
Off to work!

cleance for 5 months

Preludes & Fugues
Yesterday we received word that we are cleared for a 5 month visa to New Zealand!
The dream was to spend 6 month in New Zealand and 6 months state side. Well, the dream is coming true! So we are scheduled to fly to NZ on November 30, 2006 and return April 28th of 2007. Christmas and New Years down under! PLUS 5 months at a fabulous gym, time to hike, sleep, read and do absolutely only things I dream of like: staring at a rose blossom for hours, people watching, attending great concerts and movies and most of all creating new tunes. Writing and experiencing moments of self-discovery!
I am now changing planes for NYC and other events.
It will be a crazy time to get projects and deadlines behind me before November 30th, but I bet I can do it!
Off to work!

Changing plans

Preludes & Fugues

I had made up my mind: I AM NOT FLYING TO NYC THIS NOVEMBER. I AM NOT
FLYING LIQUID LOTION FREE! Well, I received a phone call from one of my dearest musical mentors and hearing her voice as well as her husbands filled me with joy! Suddenly I blurt out that yes! I will be in the city mid November and do count me in on the performance class! WHAT THE HELL?
So, change of mind out of the blue! I probably need a few days of selfish indulgence in the city that doesn't sleep!

I have been writing on this blog, but instead of publishing on the main page one must go to SEARCH THIS BLOG! Still learning!

Last night's performance was a total success! The council even earned money for the first time in ages! Sharing always brings me armfuls of abundance and fills my heart with peace! Wonder why?

It is 27 degrees! COLD BUT SUPPOSED TO BE GORGEOUS. Yes, that is what the weather channel says! DAAAAHHH!

Must get practicing for NYC and Boise.

Use of MUSIC in my JOURNEY

Preludes & Fugues
Why MEN may choose MUSIC as a tool in their journey of SELF-DISCOVERY:

Music has the power to sooth the savage beast! The NOTES of our SCALES are based on the actual resonances of the cosmos. This has been and can be scientifically demonstrated.

The elements, the planets and stars all vibrate at specific frequencies. The 8 houses and 64 hexagrams of the "I CHING" and the traditional 64 positions of "KUNG FU" are mirrored in the 8 notes of the OCTAVE! The rotation of the planets can be heard in the 12-tone scale!

MUSIC IS STRUCTURE. MUSIC GIVE FORM AND SUBSTANCE TO THE NAKED AIR, HELD TOGETHER WITH HARMONY AND RELEASED BY MELODY. MUSIC REACHES EVERYWHERE.

Every atom and cell of your body is vibrating. Your CONSCIOUSNESS can change that pulse. The timing of your birth, your physical development and even certain events in your life are timed and vibrate according the the musical score in your DNA. Every event in your life is SONG! Music is not magic, it is the cosmic heartbeat that holds the universe together.

You cannot go wrong using music in your journey inward. To not have a knowledge of music is like not knowing how to start your car, take a shower, read and write. Music can HEAL. It causes one to release tears, smiles or reflect on lofty thoughts.

Last week I was listening to Carly Simon sing O DANNY BOY and I started to weep which gave way into a major sobbing jag! I thought about my friend/lover DANNY from years ago that is dead and I believe I FINALLY ACCEPTED HIS DEATH and experienced a major BLESSED HEALING EVENT!

Have a day full of sound, beauty and vibrations of love! (OMG I am such a hippie at heart?)

NO TIME? WHY?

Preludes & Fugues

I seem to have hit a WRITER'S SLUMP, NOTHING COMES TO MIND AT TIMES TO WRITE ABOUT and it is not because I have been lazy or not creative. Simply not enough time in a day or in the night.
As of Monday I plan to update this site and get writing stuff that I wish to have RECORDED as I use this as a journal as well as a measuring stick regarding where and how my life is evolving.

IT SNOWED LAST NIGHT! Such a breath taking sight to witness one season totally mesh into another. Autumn and winter joined in poetry and music, colors and white on white. LOVE IT!

Tomorrow my quartet performs for the Star Valley Arts council's fund raiser event to be held at the Flying Saddle Lodge. Hope they dance, eat, and give money to a worthy cause...(for the second time this year I will leave my kitchen empty of my presence. I do have great help that will carry on probably very gladly without my mouth, and essence!) Speaking of my kitchen I have to get to work!
I'm otta here. (BUT PROMISE I WILL GET THIS BLOG UPDATED!) Remember my post about PROCRASTINATION? Well, maybe the damned thing helped to make me feel really guilty when I do not accomplish the things I set out to do! Ah, GOD A'MIGHTY THERE IS NO HOPE! I will toss out that worthless CD~

DOGMAS BE GONE!

Preludes & Fugues

Since the mid 70's I have fought for gay rights, women's rights, abortion rights, and at times the environment. I have argued with persons that I loved and I have lost friendships, lovers and many a quarrel ended up in a bloody nose. Some of the most traumatic arguments have been over religion!

I never dreamed the day would come when I would passively walk away without a tinge of anxiety regarding such people and their ideas, but I DO BELIEVE I HAVE ARRIVED AT THAT PLACE of peace that passeth all understanding.

These naive people that set themselves up as official JUDGES of what is right and wrong, and what is absolute REALITY and TRUTH. In doing so they simply slam shut the door that expands them into an ever expanding and beautiful universe of knowledge and eternal understanding. Once they slam that door shut they are doomed to live in the one universe of ideas and actions to which they have PLEDGED ALLEGIANCE. Their universe may seem and appear as an elegant life, but it is a PRISON. They must spend the rest of their days DEFENDING unchanging dogmas.

They simply forget that deceptive appearances abound in nature. The smooth surfaces of an ice-cube, a planed and sanded wooden board, or a block of iron or marble are all deceiving. At the MOLECULAR LEVEL, the perfections are punctuated by IMPERFECTIONS, order by disorder. Looking inside the molecule one finds a whirl of activity. GONE IS THE SMOOTHNESS, EASE and SIMPLICITY of the surfaces.

I see evolution occurring at rapid levels within my body, mind and philosophies.
I am so happy that I can say: the only constant is change!

As to many people I know that BELIEVE and DEFEND with every breath they take, their allegiance to certain DOGMAS I say: It makes more room for me and others to sail into the crazy world of undefinable mystery and unconditional love. It means I can become and be anything my sprit and soul want to be! I am not constrained within a prison of what is fact vs. lies. Even my idol Einstein had a difficult time grappling with QUANTUM MECHANICS and spent most of the latter years of his life trying to find major loop holes in the theory.

DOGMAS be GONE! Live free and move beyond the dogmas that we waste so much life on arguing and debating. Life is a gift, enjoy!

I find myself walking away from arguments and stupid debates regarding politics, religion and sexual preferences! Life moves on with or without us!

just stuff

Preludes & Fugues

Finally I am taking time to write some of the things that have occurred the past week. A week ago I drove to Utah for Dad's 80th. It was a total success and he loved his presents from me! I spent the night with my brother. That was pleasant and the drive home went well except for the lack of sleep and insane drivers all over the damn highway. Walked into the kitchen and everyone was dragging ass. Yep, they got hit with 89 breakfasts, and a big night the night before but it all went well. (Absence makes them love me and appreciate me!)

Fall time is in the air. I love it. Autumn is my favorite season. It means the end of a very intense work season. Having money to pay off debt and purchase things I want to invest in like: A NEW RECORDING OF MY ORIGINAL MUSIC!
Possibly the annual trip to NYC, but how will I travel without my gels and lotions and potions? My trip to Boise will be a wonderful break and I do love teaching.
Also it means, color and the abundant harvest of spring and summer projects that may or may not have been completed, but the attempt was made and most of all it means another year has become a precious part of my past and the past does mold us into the human being we are evolving into.

Have lots of new subjects to write about and places I have discovered on the web.
I Will have a great new week and the only thing I failed miserably at this summer was: WORKING OUT! I simply was toooooo f---ing tired to lift weights!
I will repent in October. Off to work I go...

OMG, 20 more years?

Preludes & Fugues

Wed. my father turned 80. We are very close. Everything that happens to him physically seems to happen genetically to either me or my brother. GENES! I spoke with him by telephone Wed. and he said, "See, you will probably no doubt live for at least another 20 years!"
My father will have out lived all of his siblings, and most of his family. My grandmother did live to be 84. So, I have 20 more years of good health and productivity as well as IF I DO NOT SUFFER A FATAL ACCIDENT, with the help of modern medicine, I may make it to 90, then I WILL DECIDE If I wish to live any longer!

Fires every where. Casper, WY is a disaster area. Idaho is burning up and Utah always has fires along with California and of course the desserts. BUT, so far we have been fortunate in this neck of the woods. NO FIRES!

I am driving to Utah this after noon to attend a dinner party in honor of my father's Birthday. This is the first time, (except for a funeral) that I have ever left my Restaurant on a weekend! I am a nervous wreck!
Will they remember to bake a turkey tonight? Shut the dish washer OFF? Leave out the chicken and steak for the next day? The list is endless...what ever happens, it does not matter because I only have one father, but I may have many restaurants in my life!
So, with I Pod charged, Cell Phone Charged, Meds and a quick change of clothes I will drive out of here around 1 PM and arrive in Ogden at 5 PM. Spend the night and drive back to WY very early for Sunday Brunch!

I feel Autumn in the air. My anxiety has dropped so something must be going right. I have had to FIGHT this indescribable feeling of depression and anxiety that washes over me completely 'out of the blue' and then leaves...It usually indicates that something of a very serious nature is in the process of becoming a reality! But, it seems to have finally stopped it's attack of chemical and emotional frenzy!
Will talk soon. Seize the day baby! (or what ever is close at hand!)

Up lifting graves.

Preludes & Fugues

Monday was an interesting day:
There is a very old cemetery here in Alpine. It is hidden in a forest of trees near a 4-H Camp ground. In 1969 by Partner's oldest and youngest brothers died in a plane crash in the near by mountains. They were buried in that cemetery. In 1988 Michael's father was buried in the same cemetery next to the boys. After many problems over the years with the cemetery Michael decided to uplift the graves, have the bodies cremated and build a beautiful memorial on the property the house we live in sits on.
Monday all three coffins were lifted. The lids had collapsed. The bodies were pretty much gone except for some clothing, jewelry and newspaper clippings that were placed in the coffins.
FIRST TIME IN over thirty years the boys had seen sunlight! It was not a scary, spooky ordeal, just a very emotional and traumatic experience in the fact that it brought back so many buried feelings...and the stark facts of how we deal with the dead and their remains!
I will say this: I do not wish to be buried in a totally black hole in the ground to rot and never be a part of the elements! What a barbaric, ancient ritual, of mummy-fying a human body with poison and then burying it 6 feet under ground to decay! Free the remains to the winds and sun and starlight!
Death will come to us all and I am sure when I am dead I will not care where and what in hell is done to my remains, but IF I LOVED SOMEONE I WOULD NOT BURY THEM IN BLACKNESS but set their remains free to soar with their spirit as it free from the body. Cremation is not a bad thing!
Now, at last all three of these loved ones are in a safe place and closure has taken place! Come see the memorial. Of course we will charge a small fee for the viewing of the STONES!

The past meet the present...

Preludes & Fugues

Last night was the last Concert/Dance event. Fantastic crowd, lots of dancing and the moon in the sky was something out of ET!

A dear friend that I have known since I was 21 was here for the music. She presented me with a cassette recording she made of a concert I performed August 18, 1976, the bicentennial year. I was 29 and would turn 30 in Nov. of that year. I was a Piano Performance Major at the U of U and never did complete the course as I did not like the INSTITUTIONALIZED SANCTITY AND FACULTY AND I PERORM DRASTICALLY ON TESTS AND EXAMS, therefore I chose a the path of a free spirited musician and made my own kind of music! (In truth I do not regret not earned a college degree. Most of my friends that have one do jobs that have nothing to do with their educational degrees from Universities!) The tape is OLD... The playing amazed me! Yes, there are glitches, but I have not played Schubert or Debussy like that in years! This same woman presented me with a box full of my correspondence, (letters to her) that she had saved since 1969 during my 7 years with USO! Talk about the past catching up with you! I am so happy that I have lived long enough to actually look back on all this a in truth enjoy the place I am at PRESENTLY because of the place I WAS AT YEARS AGO.

Now begins different challenges with the business. School stars in 18 days, that means day help is reduced to ME? Sunday brunch's will slow down and the weather will determine a lot of events. The canopy for my patio dining area finally has been made and delivered... NOW THAT THE MUSICALS ARE OVER! But better late than not! It will make dining on the patio much more pleasant during the rainy season. BTW, PATIENCE has never been one of my high marks.

I need a long, long, sleep, a deep massage and most of all to replenish my energy levels! So I drink coffee! God I do love COFFEE! So I'm going for Coffee.

The Beauty of Men...

Preludes & Fugues

In 1968 a woman in NYC told me that the most beautiful human beings were young men! She did not elaborate why boys and men were more beautiful than girls and women, but stated her point with such profound speech and completeness I totally believed her. I began observing young boys and men younger than me and mind you I was 21 years old. I observed older men and decided that the ideal age for a man would be between 38 and 45.

I think being a teen ager is difficult no matter if you are female or male, but, the older I get the more I agree with that woman's statement. I see young women that dress horribly with body fat hanging out and showing chunky bum cleavage as well as bad hair and skin. Mind you, there are the occasional young woman that are stunning, but for the most part YUCKY looking babes, covered in grease and make up from hell.

Most young men, seem to radiate a certain shyness and yet confidence, maybe because, they endure endless erections and are adored...?

I read a poem this morning that made me think of the beauty of young men by John Wieners. Here is is:
"TWO YEARS LATER"
The hollow eyes of shock remain electric sockets burnt out in the skull...

The beauty of men never disappears
but drives a blue car through the stars...

Look into the night sky and you just may see a beautiful man driving around the roads of the firmament hidden in the haze of blue sky! EYES TO THE SKIES!

I find beauty in many things, but it is wonderful to also see young men and know what they are thinking and to know I was once one of them and have matured to the man I am now! NO REGRETS, just joy!

Mel Gibson's DUI !!!

Preludes & Fugues

I just read Mel Gibson's lengthy statement about his DUI arrest! Poor bugger, my ass! and to think he produced the PASSION OF CHRIST, HATES GAYS, ABORTION RIGHTS and is a TOTAL CATHOLIC BIGOTED ASS!

It never fails, that those that speak out in harsh judgment of others are usually hiding from some ghost within their own closets of fear and anger! YES I WILL SPEAK OUT AGAINST SUCH PEOPLE AS MEL GIBSON because I have seen and KNOW the harm that his mouth can do. Remember the time a few years ago when he was being interviewed in France and barred his ass to the camera saying his sexy, gorgeous butt was what gays like about him and then proceeded to tear apart gays! (maybe he needs something big and hard put up that mess)

(wonder who or what he is afraid of regarding gays? could it be that one of his children, and there are many, is bent towards gay life? or does he hide under the skirts of the Catholic Priests to keep his fear of sexual perversion at bay? or is it that he is a total fuck up that suffers depression, alcohol addiction and is basically like every one else.

I know, forgive and forget. Okay, but keep your eye out for a 'slip along the way' of anyone that professes to be PERFECT! Just go to the Republican Party and start lifting a few skirts and talking in hushed circles... OH MY WHAT LIES and CRAP they do fear and believe in.
FEAR is a powerful chemical that we become addicted to and can do more harm than even a deadly bullet!

Jesus loves ya Mel, and besides your looks are going down the toilet! I remember years ago talking with a psychologist friend that said most alcoholics were repressed homosexuals! GOD FORBID but I took up the bottle damned fast in the hope of finding my true self! Instead I found an emty wallet, emty bed, emty life! However, there were times when the bottle did take me to places of love I never dreamed possible! besides the neck of a bottle can fit into places quite nicely if it is nudged along by fantasy, lubricant and most of lust! Thanks for the memories!

How far does one go with...

Preludes & Fugues

I used to put my nose up, down, inside and around other people's business and invariably get my tit in a ringer! Even other body and mind parts!

The past month I have observed a certain person 'change' into a very short tempered, filthy mouthed, harsh and aggressive person. I listen to this person's rants and raves about their home life and other personal problems. I find the problems rather stupid, but the circumstances they are living with at home are not a laughing matter. There have been moments during the past four weeks that I have contemplated the act of talking directly to the parties involved and yet, I really don't want to be a part of some family soap opera. So, I have kept my mouth shut and LISTENED...

The situation is beginning to rub off on other people that inter act with the distressed person...do I step in? and IF I DO and I bringing something into my own karmic and personal life that I DO NOT NEED or WANT?
How far does one go with trying to being understanding and HELP as it were a person you love and care about?

At the present moment I will allow fate, time, and space to cleanse the problem without my MOUTH being a catalyst for more fuel to the fires.

Am reading bits of Whitman again. God, I love this man's philosophy! (wonder why?) we do have lots in common.

Tomorrow is number five of the musicals.
ONE LEFT and then August will disappear into the ethers like a vapor of heat of which it will no doubt be a very big heat wave.

GOD IT IS HOT! that is probably why the TENSE EMOTIONS with some people. OR COULD THE TENSE EMOTIONS BE COMING FROM ME! AH! AM I THE SOURCE OF THIS ANGER AND FEAR THAT MY FRIEND IS EXPERIENCING????? (god, ya gotta love trying to figure this shit out)

PROCRASTINATION

Preludes & Fugues

Procrastination is a word that lives within the deepest cells of my brains...
(I believe that we have many brains that make up the whole mind/brain organ. The Pineal gland, hypothalamus, frontal lobe...digestive system, sub-consciousness, consciousness etc....)

I will not say PROCRASTINATION is something that drives me insane but I'd like to get things done WHEN they must be done instead of saying: "oh yes, I'll call that order in tomorrow, or TODAY SOMETIME I AM GOING TO WORK OUT, or possibly tonight I will practice for an hour, or I PROMISE, I am not going to eat bacon anymore!!!"
The list of excuses are endless. I do not even make such things as New Year's Resolutions or promises to God, the Universe or to my self. I simply KNOW that I should do certain things that make my life easy and guilt free, but I invariably will put "THE JOB OFF" until the last minute or sometimes beyond the last minute!

So, I purchased a self-help CD from my Shirley MacLane.com site that should erase some of this problem, but WILL I PROCRASTINATE in NOT LISTENING TO IT????????????????????? I will, I promise after today I WILL GIVE IT A LISTEN and TRY TO LISTEN TO IT EVERYDAY FOR THE recommended 30 days before I see change!

Stay in touch and possibly I will even become better at writing in my blog spot!

Today is "MORMON MANIA" 24th of July. The day that Brigham Young looked upon the Great Basin of the Great Salt Lake and made this prophetic statement:
"THIS IS THE PLACE!"
Little did he know, (or did he know ?), that the desert would blossom as a rose!
Well, because of this holiday we have UTARDS all over the place. They don't drink or do any kind of recreational drugs, so they eat a lot and drink tons of diet Pepsi and Mountain Dew. Also they sneak around with secret sexual encounters, weird fantasies, and hidden moments of hurried masturbation
because of the REPRESSED SEXUAL DESIRES! I LOVE IT. Makes for really hot sex.

Well, tonight is the fourth MUSIC UNDER THE STARS. Two performances left for the year. We are booked solid with over 103 dinners tonight! (as the British sing, GOD SAVE THE QUEEN, WELL MAY GOD SAVE THIS TIERED QUEEN!
I;m outta here!

...and the night was filled with music...

Preludes & Fugues

Last night's "Music Under the Stars" was magic. (for me at least.)
The weather could not have been more perfect! The damned misqitoes were off somewhere besides eating everyone alive, and the cool Alpine air was exhilarating. Lots of dancing and I played better than ever! The guys were "tight", in total sync! Ensemble work is like sexual intercourse, when you are in total ONENESS it can take you places you never dreamed possible and if one is not in sync....well....it strums along like very bad mutual masturbation!

Later in the wee hours of the morning I awoke 'round 2:30 AM to the most amazing moon! I simply could not resist the temptation for a "moon bath". I know some people take sun baths, but I take major MOON BATHS! Besides at my age the moonlight is a much safer light to be seen naked as it defuses some of the sagging parts, or high lights some of the more upright parts!

Today is HOTTER than HOT, but I don't care! I have air-con going, my folks are visiting with us and I am happy that another week has passed into space as every week brings me closer to the real reasons I LIVE FOR! Music, time to read, write and most of all observe life from a position I never dreamed I would one day attain.
I know the world is insane. IT IS. Bush, Blair, GOD ONLY KNOWS WHO ELSE and the MIDDLE EAST CRISIS? (well, when in hell was it not in crisis?) and the economy is hanging on my it's cuticles at moments, and yes, the price of gas is outrageous, but IT HAS ALWAYS BEEN A MESS unless you are passionately in love or falling out of love! Love seems to change a lot ugly things...

I am tired, but as the poem states, MY HEAD IS BLOODY BUT UNBOWED, well mine is sweaty buy still spinning because I proved I could pull yesterday off without a hitch! AHHHHHHHHHH, YES!

out of the woods...

Preludes & Fugues

Tomorrow marks the last day of this week of anticipation of WHAT in the HELL or WHO in the HELL might die or leave me this year during July. So far, so good!
NO ONE HAS HAD A DEISRE TO WALK OUT OF MY LIFE OR FROM THIS EXISTENCE on planet earth as we know it!

This weekend marks the third night of Music Under the Stars. Hopefully no rain and no misquotes and lots of happy people and most of all that I will perform well. Our Sax Man cannot play Sunday, so that means I will carry the main parts on the keyboard, which I usually thrill and enjoy, but at nearly 60, I find my memory turns to mush during some very standard pieces like: Georgia, or Stardust can end up very interesting and most creative! It is all good! CREATIVITY IS SUCH A BLESSING. I am not the most talented man, but I do surround myself with talent so as to appear to have lots of great abilities!
Off to work I goooooo, hoooooo, hoooooo.

July 9-15 always...

Preludes & Fugues

Today is my brother's Birthday. We are 18 months apart. We were raised as if we were twins and were very best friends growing up. We still are friends but follow different drummers and walk different paths that separate us.

July 9, 1961 my best friend committed suicide. This act of violence and the need to escape the pain inflicted on him by a Mormon Bishop, society and the limited thinking of the 60's has never escaped my mind. One day I will write about this event and the horrible aftermath of pain and suffering it caused within a small community and church.

July 9th 1980 a very special lady died. She had a powerful impact upon my life and still does. Her passing was the beginning of a gigantic paradigm shift in my heart, mind and body. It was the end of one lifetime and the beginning of a new one. I discovered the book OUT ON A LIMB and after reading it two times I would never be the same person I had been or thought I was going to become!

I believe we are constantly REINCARNATING. Belief systems and dogmas that we are induced with from birth die with time and are replaced with other philosophies as well as our bodies evolve with time. BUT, numbers and dates seem to always have deep meaning in my life!

This will be an interesting week. I will post events on my blog/journal/safe place, so that I can compare last years events! July 9 through 15 is like a major metamorphosis in my life!

Tonight is the second Music Under the Stars performance. This week has gone so quickly it is as if it had not existed! But, then what is time? Simply an invention to measure events and happenings. Ya gotta love Einstein's famous equation: E=M. I'm outta here!

4th of July

Preludes & Fugues

This was the biggest 4th of July I have had in the business since 1990. The road
to Jackson Hole is open, and it seems most people are staying close to home, but as always in a time when people are being "watchful" where money is concerned, people will come up with money for a meal, bottle of wine and to hear music. Sunday night we served 103 dinners, had approximately 300-350
people attend the concert/dance and lots of camping, boating and nature lovers roaming about.

My land lady in the 70's who died in 1980 told me great stories about her life during the years of the great depression. She could play piano by ear. AMAZINGLY well!!! Also had a photographic memory. Thus, it meant she could sit at a piano in a restaurant or bar in San Francisco and make more in tips than her daddy made working for the rail road! She always said, "NO matter how broke or down one was feeling if there was a catchy tune being played or the scent of meat and onions cooking people would pull coins together and have enough money to make a great party out of nothing."

The world is in a terrible situation but it always is! It depends on one's PERSONAL
and PRIVATE
OVER ALL VIEW OF THE SITUATIONS and where you are in reality to the rest of
the bull shit.

What is that old cliche? CARPE DIEM???? (god, help me with the spelling!)
Well, any way seize the day. (or better yet something or someone you love and
be damned grateful you have them in your life!)

Music Under The Stars...

Preludes & Fugues

Now, I can and do forgive all the pesky BS and annoying moments that occurred in the month of June regarding the business. WHY? because, it is all worth it!
Tonight is the first of 6 Sunday evenings where I get out of the kitchen and MAKE MUSIC UNDER THE STARS with my musical brothers. I will sit at my keyboard and move to the music as I watch people smile, dance, sing-along with the melodies and most of all "HARMONIZE" my self and the space I work and live in.
(this is where my Liberace-Judy Garland moments blossom in full glory!!!)

I know many friends will be around in spirit (my dead pals) and lots of good food and misquotes,
as well as wine, laughter and hugging, probably even a secret assignation will be arranged between two people who will meet later by the lake and make mad love to the moon light!

Happy days and nights are here again. (sounds like the words to a very old song
called Happy Days are Here Again...my grandmother used to sing it!) GOD I LOVE SUMMER!

Last day of June

Preludes & Fugues

Here is a brief outline of the events that occurred in my life yesterday:

7:00 AM awake. Make coffee, take meds, stretch, meditate and thank god I have
an hour to do nothing before I venture down to the business.
8:00 AM. Walk to the business. Talk to the marmots, cats, deer, trees, serene
sky and hope everything is "flowing" as it should when I enter the door.
9:00 AM Still NO DELIVERIES FROM SYSCO or US FOOD SERVICE!
9:20 AM eat breakfast and make calls to distributors, check schedules and have
serious talk with employee regarding the use of the F word, touching butts
and smiling when people sit down with the menu she hands them!
10:00 AM off to the grocery. NO DROP OFF FROM SYSCO!
10:30 AM get the music and instruments set up for a rehearsal for Sunday night
with guys in band.
11:00 Rehearsal goes well. Listen to local gossip, thank god I do not have kids
and make wonderful music.
1:30 PM Back at restaurant getting prepped for this evening.
Michael is in a rather WILD STATE OF MIND. He has fired the rather stupid
woman that works two days in the office and laundry cause the other
women hate her! God, they never stop talking her down. So now, do I or
Michael open office two days a week and then do laundry? Like I can do
this and still cook and run a restaurant? Michael can't do it all he will die.
I ponder the problem and come up with solution.
2:30 PM close lunch and clean up for night. I head home and lay down for an
hour. Up at 4 and back at the restaurant.
Missed the Tanner's from Ogden. They left me 4 reissued CD's that I was
The musical director on in the 70's for an amazing young man.
5:00 PM All is going well, except by 6:30 I have only one waitress! Shannon
forgets to come to work. Calling like crazy every waitress I have. People
are falling off the deck and inside the dinning room! I put a 15 year old
my buss girl out on the patio. She has NEVER waited on night people.
7:00 PM we are out of salad. NOT A DAMNED LEAF of LETTUCE in the house.
Call Jean she flys to market and brings back iceberg shit lettuce.
8:00 PM Kristen comes in to save the day. Mighty woman.
9:30 PM I am insane. My kitchen staff are great, but the stress is endless as the
mood exchanges are flying bazzurk as all hell between these women and
their emotions. I thank God I am a man.
11:00 Everything is cleaned up and ready for morning. Now the accounting.
The money is fine, but the tickets are not matching the ledgers for rooms
the frigin bar orders are off! I figure it out by midnight.
12:00 midnight I am home and chilling.
1:00 AM I am asleep? No, the phone starts ringing and no one has the extension
phone on their body down below, so I get up and walk to the business
tell the barman to answer the GD phone!
JULY 1st. THANK HOLY HELL. A NEW MONTH.
8:00 AM just had a call, the morning waitress is delayed and they need me?
NO, I need that anxiety drug, xanax, or what ever in hell those little bluish
ill tasting things are, but they knock me on my ass so hard, I would never
get anything accomplished. OFF TO WORK I GO with a song in my heart
and a blessing on my head.
ONE BEAUTIFUL THOUGHT IS THAT ALL THIS SHALL PASS MID OCTOBER AND TODAY MARKS THE BEGINNING OF A NEW MONTH. I ALWAYS TELL MYSELF THAT
IF I GET THROUGH JULY I CAN SURVIVE THE REST OF THE YEAR AS EVERYONE I LOVE IS BORN OR DIES IN JULY! DAMNED CANCERS! TO THINK THIS SCORPIO ADORERS THESE SENSITIVE, GIVING LOVING BEINGS THAT ARE BORN UNDER THE SIGN OF
CANCER. I DO LOVE THEM EVERYONE OF YOU.