Leaving New Zealand for the 23rd year!!!
The past 5 months have been a most amusing time, space, era, what ever one wishes to name it. I may write about it in the future but, for now: NO.
A few years ago I could write about my having Cancer. My Knee replacement... performing concerts... my hikes on planet earth I never dreamed of experiencing the beauty of such places within nature... Learning spiritual in sites. Accepting my bodies physical being. I have written about it in my past blogs over the years however, not tonight. Possibly not ever. WHY?
I have learned we can NEVER return to our past but, far into the future we will still LOOK BACK, until we UNDERSTAND all our many questions and somehow put them into words, music, paintings... then possibly, just maybe, we will still remain SILENT, BECAUSE THIS KNOWLEDGE WAS NOT MEANT TO BE SHARED!
WE WILL KEEP IT HIDDEN LIKE A PEARL IN THE OYSTER OF OUR GRAY AND AGING HANDS...
I have lived inside the energy of many emotions, feelings, times with friends and family that are GONE! They are dead.
They, all the people I have in the past loved and know, live inside my mind and heart.
NOW at 66 I have found new friends... people much younger than me. They cannot ever know my friends and loved ones from my past that have died... but... just possibly I will live inside younger hearts and minds long after I am dead and gone. They will remember the funny old man that............. the man that no one except those that have known me will be able to explain or better yet hold the memory of me within a certain sacred place hidden inside their hearts and minds. A place they can laugh about or better yet eternally love.
Will post more after the trip home.
Friday, April 26, 2013
Thursday, April 11, 2013
One Hell of a weird Day.
Today was a strange old day as they say. I slept like a rock last night. I finished watching a movie that I quite like: THE WAY. If anyone is familiar with tramping, hiking, walking... it is about one of the most famous walks on the planet. One of those "Walks about SELF DISCOVERY type things".
Awoke feeling great. Made one of my favorite breakfasts: fried potatoes with onions and peppers... lots of ground salt and pepper. Bacon, just the way I like it... two poached eggs on toast and cups of strong black coffee.
The day started going sour when I tried to down load the HEAD LINE news from the States... SLOW beyond imagination... I mean the WIFI was "struggling" like a person without arms or legs.
I was patient and forgiving.
My partner informed me that I had failed on keeping the house clean. WTF! By hell, I flew into super clean demon and began in the kitchen. Microwave clean, STOVE DETAILED. Scrubbed floor and bathroom off from the kitchen. Cleaned dinning room. Dusted and polished all the furniture in the Lounge and then plugged in the vacuum. By God, this place looked as shiny as the head of a straight pin.
Then the drama with the airlines... finally have that sussed out. Spent one entire hour on the phone dealing with this crap. We were going to the gym and grocery, but Michael decided NOT. I should walk down to the CBD of Q/town and purchase groceries etc... Okay. I love to walk. He had his hand full of taking care of his mother and I needed to get out of the "CLEANING SYNDROME".
I have my back pack on my back where it belongs. My dark glasses protecting my eyes, a warm jacket because it is cold... walk down Panorama Place. Panorama Terrace is a mess with the re surfacing of the old street after putting all the electric and telephone lines UNDER GROUND. I have spoken to the very young blond man that is on the crew working on the project many times. He told me to cross the road carefully and then be aware as I walked down Suburb street... it was covered in gravel. I grinned and thanked him for his kindness toward me. (I am 66 but I think I am 36)
I get to Suburb St. OMG... my feet went flying from under my body and I landed on my right knee.
A huge semi truck was coming up the street... mind you, this is an extremely STEEP STREET. A knee killer. The truck could not make the incline. It suddenly stopped. At this point I am laying on the gravel thinking: Okay, collect yourself into one heap and get on your feet... keep walking... but my right knew is 'wet' blood... no pain... no my left shoulder is screaming out with pain.
The driver of the semi was a big burly, hairy bear. His wife a little waif of a person. She is out directing traffic. They asked me IF I was OKAY. Being a strong young Mormon years ago I said: " Oh, yes! I simply slid on the loose gravel. I will be fine!" The fat hairy driver said: "This could have been really ugly. The road is like driving on black ice..." I reassured him I was fine.
I limped into town. Went to 4 Square market. Purchased items we needed. Then walked into Henry's House of Spirits and Wines... the gorgeous young Brazilian girl that works there said hello and how was I? I said fine. I am going to buy a bottle of RUA PINOT NOIR 2012. I hobble to the row the wine is sitting on and she shrieks. "WHAT? YOU ARE LIMPING? WHAT IS WRONG?" Well, I told her I fell on some gravel. She grabs my pant leg and lefts it so as to see the wound. Hail Mary Full of Grace... we had it fixed. She said: "Look YOU are one of my favorite customers... I want to buy you the bottle of RUA." I said: "NO! It is far to expensive." She screamed "NO!" If I were 30 years younger I would have made love to this woman every day of her life!
I take a cab home and of all the drivers i get my favorite young German Driver. He gets me back to Panorama Place and lifts my groceries out of the back seat. I walk into my studio and my I pad is making music?
WTF? It took me an hour to get the thing back to I tunes the right way and cancel the playing of this wonderful but not needed music.
I pop two more tramadol pain pills... I pour a glass of the gorgeous Pinot Noir and then crash bang out of the universe my knee starts to bleed... well, excuse me, but what in holy hell is going on?
I cannot get on the Internet, I fall dead at walking... the entire day was OUT OF SORTS WITH ALL IT'S BITS AND PIECES! Finally: I made a plate of cheese and french bread... my wine and I am fine. I have dinner prepped. Barbecue beef, coleslaw, and garlic bread.
Last night I finished watching THE WAY... maybe it had something to do with my WALKING and TALKING... I do love that movie. I have taken many walks on the wild side. OMG possibly it is time for another walk... ALONE but with a lot of medication. I do have some very kind GP'S.
Opening Concert of the NZSO was magic as always. Will write about it soon. It is raining. I mean a very serious down pour. Good thing for the gardens and the planet.
I recall once being told that sometimes there is nothing worse in one's life than the sensation of CRASHING into a LIMITATION!
Damn that fall... I am fine now... thanks to Pain Pills and Wine... see you in my dreams.
Awoke feeling great. Made one of my favorite breakfasts: fried potatoes with onions and peppers... lots of ground salt and pepper. Bacon, just the way I like it... two poached eggs on toast and cups of strong black coffee.
The day started going sour when I tried to down load the HEAD LINE news from the States... SLOW beyond imagination... I mean the WIFI was "struggling" like a person without arms or legs.
I was patient and forgiving.
My partner informed me that I had failed on keeping the house clean. WTF! By hell, I flew into super clean demon and began in the kitchen. Microwave clean, STOVE DETAILED. Scrubbed floor and bathroom off from the kitchen. Cleaned dinning room. Dusted and polished all the furniture in the Lounge and then plugged in the vacuum. By God, this place looked as shiny as the head of a straight pin.
Then the drama with the airlines... finally have that sussed out. Spent one entire hour on the phone dealing with this crap. We were going to the gym and grocery, but Michael decided NOT. I should walk down to the CBD of Q/town and purchase groceries etc... Okay. I love to walk. He had his hand full of taking care of his mother and I needed to get out of the "CLEANING SYNDROME".
I have my back pack on my back where it belongs. My dark glasses protecting my eyes, a warm jacket because it is cold... walk down Panorama Place. Panorama Terrace is a mess with the re surfacing of the old street after putting all the electric and telephone lines UNDER GROUND. I have spoken to the very young blond man that is on the crew working on the project many times. He told me to cross the road carefully and then be aware as I walked down Suburb street... it was covered in gravel. I grinned and thanked him for his kindness toward me. (I am 66 but I think I am 36)
I get to Suburb St. OMG... my feet went flying from under my body and I landed on my right knee.
A huge semi truck was coming up the street... mind you, this is an extremely STEEP STREET. A knee killer. The truck could not make the incline. It suddenly stopped. At this point I am laying on the gravel thinking: Okay, collect yourself into one heap and get on your feet... keep walking... but my right knew is 'wet' blood... no pain... no my left shoulder is screaming out with pain.
The driver of the semi was a big burly, hairy bear. His wife a little waif of a person. She is out directing traffic. They asked me IF I was OKAY. Being a strong young Mormon years ago I said: " Oh, yes! I simply slid on the loose gravel. I will be fine!" The fat hairy driver said: "This could have been really ugly. The road is like driving on black ice..." I reassured him I was fine.
I limped into town. Went to 4 Square market. Purchased items we needed. Then walked into Henry's House of Spirits and Wines... the gorgeous young Brazilian girl that works there said hello and how was I? I said fine. I am going to buy a bottle of RUA PINOT NOIR 2012. I hobble to the row the wine is sitting on and she shrieks. "WHAT? YOU ARE LIMPING? WHAT IS WRONG?" Well, I told her I fell on some gravel. She grabs my pant leg and lefts it so as to see the wound. Hail Mary Full of Grace... we had it fixed. She said: "Look YOU are one of my favorite customers... I want to buy you the bottle of RUA." I said: "NO! It is far to expensive." She screamed "NO!" If I were 30 years younger I would have made love to this woman every day of her life!
I take a cab home and of all the drivers i get my favorite young German Driver. He gets me back to Panorama Place and lifts my groceries out of the back seat. I walk into my studio and my I pad is making music?
WTF? It took me an hour to get the thing back to I tunes the right way and cancel the playing of this wonderful but not needed music.
I pop two more tramadol pain pills... I pour a glass of the gorgeous Pinot Noir and then crash bang out of the universe my knee starts to bleed... well, excuse me, but what in holy hell is going on?
I cannot get on the Internet, I fall dead at walking... the entire day was OUT OF SORTS WITH ALL IT'S BITS AND PIECES! Finally: I made a plate of cheese and french bread... my wine and I am fine. I have dinner prepped. Barbecue beef, coleslaw, and garlic bread.
Last night I finished watching THE WAY... maybe it had something to do with my WALKING and TALKING... I do love that movie. I have taken many walks on the wild side. OMG possibly it is time for another walk... ALONE but with a lot of medication. I do have some very kind GP'S.
Opening Concert of the NZSO was magic as always. Will write about it soon. It is raining. I mean a very serious down pour. Good thing for the gardens and the planet.
I recall once being told that sometimes there is nothing worse in one's life than the sensation of CRASHING into a LIMITATION!
Damn that fall... I am fine now... thanks to Pain Pills and Wine... see you in my dreams.
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Native Grass... don't smoke this stuff...
A very dear friend Karina made a road trip from Alexandra NZ to Q/TOWN NZ a few days ago. We go way back many years ago. She was my personal trainer. The woman gave me shoulders in the day.
She also has a "gift" the Green Thumb. She can take a suffering plant and bring it back to life. We were chatting away over wine and snacks about pests like weeds and plants such as veggies and flowers. She made a profound statement I hope to never forget: " when it comes to green things growing you follow one rule: IF YOU LIKE AND LOVE A CERTAIN THING THAT IS GROWING IN THE GARDEN, IT IS A PLANT, IF YOU HATE AND THINK IT IS A MESS IT IS A WEED!" I love that. I actually have certain plants some people tell me are weeds and I happen to think they are quite amazing! Kinda like certain people and other things in our lives!
Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Autumn day out with the girls!
(So no one becomes confused): L. to R. Brent, Willma Elmore, (Erin's aunt, best friend and most of all Willma is like a big sister to Erin. Then ERIN!)
I love these two women. They both are savvy medicine women!
Willma's father was a prominent M.D. in Jackson Hole WY. He is Erin's grandfather on her mother's side. Erin's father was Michael's oldest brother's daughter. Michael's brother was a very fine science teacher and loved chemistry. Because of situations at the time when Erin was born she was adopted
by the Elmores.
Years ago, In The Day, as they say? (who ever THEY ARE?) Dr. Elmore was the man that saved many lives of people that lived on ranches, mountains and the valleys surrounding Jackson Hole. He was the MD that delivered babies morning night and day. He was the man that set broken bones from skiing accident and the drunken brawls inside some rough cowboy bars. He was the surgeon called in the night to remedy a sudden appendectomy or heart attack. He saved many a life within the arms of a very harsh and unforgiving space in the Rocky Mountains. I know of two Doctors that did a similar thing in the Valley I live in.
HOW GENES REGENERATE AMAZES ME: Willma and Erin are both in the Medical Profession.
Willma lives in Washington State, the North West. Erin lives in NY the East Coast. I guess they hold down the two sides of that enormous span of land between the west and east coasts of America! I am thrilled to be in the care of two people I trust with my life!
They kidnapped me two days ago and took me to a fabulous lunch... walk about town. It was colder than a witch's you know what, but we had a great time. I love it when family and friends spend time in a place I love and adore. I also love my live in Alpine, WY. The Snake River, the majestic Tetons, Yellowstone Nat. Park... As Julie Andrews sings in the movie Sound of Music...
"I must have done something good in my childhood."....
Will write in a few days.
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Summer in Queenstown, NZ
I PAD. I still struggle with it. WHY? I think the reason may be, I cannot see the screen in the bright sunlight and most times I touch the WRONG button on the screen... drives me crazy some days.
I did not bring my trust worthy old Kodak Digital camera to NZ this year. Why would I if the I PAD has a camera, my cell phone has a camera?
Well, my Vodafone does NOT have a camera. The phone works great, but it does not have many bells, whistles. Main thing: your getting a glimpse of summer from under your toes Feb. 2013.
Talk about summer... there are some great old photos posted on my http://www.brentjohnston.info/ of the quartet when we were playing the MUSIC UNDER THE STARS every Sunday evening from July into August. The six Sunday evenings were magical nights full of moonlight, stars, pine song and laughter.
I will forever love making music with my best friends and seeing people dancing, and mind you some of the couples dancing were amazing! I should have called the talent scouts for DANCING WITH THE STARS!
Lots of nice people simply relaxing in their seats tapping their hands and feet to the beat of the music and some people actually sang the words to many of the songs!
Everything within our life has it's time and season. The years of the MUSIC UNDER THE STARS ended when I simply could not do it any longer. Cooking over a 100 Sunday Brunch meals, then setting up for the concert... then putting energy into a performance and cleaning up after the event it was all so good until my body decided to put the brakes on the entire act.
I had no idea I had cancer... I've learned a big lesson in life: NO MATTER WHAT YOU MAY THINK: YOUR SPACE SUIT WILL DICTATE WHEN, HOW, IF YOU DO CERTAIN THINGS!
Every season always ignites memories of things past. Summer. The years I lived for the summer camping events. The times I spent camping out along the shores of the Great Salt Lake. The summer I spent at Manhattan Beach in California with a person I was madly in love with at the time! The summer I planted a garden beyond belief. The summer I attended the Teton Music Festival in JH WY not ever imagining I would be living there one day! The summers I spent on Antelope Island hiking from the east shore line over the peak to the western shore line...
Years ago I was the musical arranger and director for Ricky Tanner. We had been blest with great success with his first album... A RIVER OF SONG... decided to make a Christmas Album. We did it at Bonneville Recording Studios in SLC, UT in JULY. I would spend all day in the recording studio playing, mixing, splicing, making dramatic changes here and there... walk out of the studio into brilliant hot sunshine at 8 PM... get this: I had been working on Silent Night, Winter Wonderland, Jingle Bells... WHAT? It worked I love this recording. Thousands of people still play it over and over. You can find it on line: RICKY TANNER...
I am effected in summer by the month of July. Most of my dearest friends have died in July.
One person that is very close and dear to me, my brother was born in July. Another man that I adore was born in July yet, I always suffer great loss in July. I thank my lucky stars I have to work my guts out in July! It is the peak of my season at Brenthoven's, The Nordic Inn. We are busy then.
I have proven that WORK can help heal many problems. At times when I become anxious or depressed: I get to work. Do something that needs attending to and if not that then get out and WALK. DON'T TALK just WALK... I always feel good after I get to work or take the big walk.
In about a week we have family coming over all the way from NY and WASHINGTON STATE!
It will be joyous because summer will still be with us. When we return to the states the end of April, autumn and winter are entwined in a most interesting adventure here in NZ. You can wake up to snow. You can wake up to rain. You can awaken to gorgeous autumn light and hot days... just like the northern hemisphere.
I have to get up stairs. I have a meat loaf and scallop potatoes in the oven! I know, we should be eating a salad because it is summer, but comfort food does work. We all need a bit of comfort so after dinner I will watch a favorite movie... read until I drift into dream land and thank the heavens I am where I am and that I well. Summer is heavenly beyond imagination for me...
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
The new site...
Okay, a picture is worth about a thousand words? you can all go figure.
Check out the slide show on the new site... http://www.brentjohnston.info/
Also a new you tube... The Shepard Boy composed by Grieg...
Weather is still gorgeous in Q/town... summer is heaven and I do not mind one moment of being physically toooooo warm... hell, I'd rather be warm than cold. Been cold too many times in my life.
Have tons of things going through my head right now. Will sort them all out and write something worthwhile soon.
Sometimes I think my brain may go insane and simply explode... the damn thing wears me out.
In a few moments I'll have a glass of gorgeous pinot noir and make dinner... only thing that frustrates me is: at times my brain goes into a total state of no recall... probably because I DO NOT WANT TO ACTUALLY RECALL THE SITUATION OR MEMORY.
The imprints made within our (brain-computers) are quite amazing and they seem to influence our next life times... gotta watch out for what we think about at times... the future is an adventure only one person at a time can experience.
We all are INDIVIDUAL beings of light and energy. We think we are as one. NOT. We are individual specks of life and we have our own personal karma as well as reasons for living and then dying. Pretty exciting! Most of all it is magic.
Check out the slide show on the new site... http://www.brentjohnston.info/
Also a new you tube... The Shepard Boy composed by Grieg...
Weather is still gorgeous in Q/town... summer is heaven and I do not mind one moment of being physically toooooo warm... hell, I'd rather be warm than cold. Been cold too many times in my life.
Have tons of things going through my head right now. Will sort them all out and write something worthwhile soon.
Sometimes I think my brain may go insane and simply explode... the damn thing wears me out.
In a few moments I'll have a glass of gorgeous pinot noir and make dinner... only thing that frustrates me is: at times my brain goes into a total state of no recall... probably because I DO NOT WANT TO ACTUALLY RECALL THE SITUATION OR MEMORY.
The imprints made within our (brain-computers) are quite amazing and they seem to influence our next life times... gotta watch out for what we think about at times... the future is an adventure only one person at a time can experience.
We all are INDIVIDUAL beings of light and energy. We think we are as one. NOT. We are individual specks of life and we have our own personal karma as well as reasons for living and then dying. Pretty exciting! Most of all it is magic.
Thursday, February 14, 2013
some sunshine...with loving touch
I do believe I have crossed over from depression into a balanced sunny place that does not require understanding. It is what it is.
Today I walked out on Gorge Rd. to my Doctor's office.
I have a shot around the 14th of every month. He gives a good "JAB"... it does not hurt. It is almost like one of those nasty sexual comments: OH! IS IT IN? I never need a band aid. he is a kind and brilliant man. I only wish the world had more people like him.
Came home in a taxi. Had all kinds of plans for a lovely dinner because it is Valentine's Day. Lost interest... I made beef rissoles, vegetables, breads and butter... tomorrow I will pull all the stops out and light fire to something magical or else drastic. Heeeee
My engineers are working on a new site called http://www.brentjohnston.info/ I am having a great time with it. Some of the photos are priceless to me. It is a work in Progress.
Tomorrow will be gym, then a coffee and sandwich at the Coffee Club in Frankton... collect items at the grocery store and then home for my massage with Sonya. I don't do the whole body massage anymore. I like my neck, shoulders, hands, feet worked over and over with reflexology... Sonya has been touching my body from head to toe for over 15 years! She has watched this space suit evolve in ever so many ways. She is a healer.
After our RUB we always have a wine with some great cheeses and breads. We catch up on each other's lives and most of all enjoy the cozy comfort of being friends. God, Friends are amazing. If you need a massage Sonya will be there. (her flight will cost you a fortune! but, it is well worth it.)
Today I walked out on Gorge Rd. to my Doctor's office.
I have a shot around the 14th of every month. He gives a good "JAB"... it does not hurt. It is almost like one of those nasty sexual comments: OH! IS IT IN? I never need a band aid. he is a kind and brilliant man. I only wish the world had more people like him.
Came home in a taxi. Had all kinds of plans for a lovely dinner because it is Valentine's Day. Lost interest... I made beef rissoles, vegetables, breads and butter... tomorrow I will pull all the stops out and light fire to something magical or else drastic. Heeeee
My engineers are working on a new site called http://www.brentjohnston.info/ I am having a great time with it. Some of the photos are priceless to me. It is a work in Progress.
Tomorrow will be gym, then a coffee and sandwich at the Coffee Club in Frankton... collect items at the grocery store and then home for my massage with Sonya. I don't do the whole body massage anymore. I like my neck, shoulders, hands, feet worked over and over with reflexology... Sonya has been touching my body from head to toe for over 15 years! She has watched this space suit evolve in ever so many ways. She is a healer.
After our RUB we always have a wine with some great cheeses and breads. We catch up on each other's lives and most of all enjoy the cozy comfort of being friends. God, Friends are amazing. If you need a massage Sonya will be there. (her flight will cost you a fortune! but, it is well worth it.)
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Piotr Anderszewski ?
This man PIOTR ANDERSZEWSKI, is one of my favorite pianists. That is why I posted his interview regarding performance anxiety.
Performance angst has literally murdered many a great performance of great music. A pianist performing a recital is a vessel through which music is channelled... being alone on a huge stage can be indescribable. One walks out and sits before a huge instrument... the piano. Your voice is released through your fingers, body language and silences.
The possibility that you may make a mistake, miss a "Que" when a certain Harmonic leading tone will transpose you to the next musical passage... I for one hate the fearful drama.
Years ago I thrived on it. Performing was like a drug. I needed the approval of applause, adoration, simply being one with my ego? In later years I discovered that I had a "musical past" being a pianist. Could I perform up to the glorious moments of my past? The doubt, questions and fears gradually begin seeping into moments of my then current performances.
Up until I turned 55 years of age... then I began to realize one thing: I had an audience of young people. Young musicians that expected perfection and confidence from the moment I set foot on that stage. The responsibility became over whelming at times. I spent a fortune on hypnosis. I guess it helped, but I still had these ghosts that whisper: YOU WILL FAIL, haunting my mind and body, most all my very nerve endings.
20 years ago they started giving drugs for such anxiety. Enderil? I cannot recall the name of the drug. I think it was used as a beta blocker. Ages ago I took one before a recital only to feel "OUT OF IT"
OMG, I would have been better off if I had toked a joint! There is one drug that does help: XANEX.
I know it is addictive? Well, so it milk, Advil, Alcohol and a few other things that are approved to be fine for the entire human race. Taking a very tiny bite of Zanex has helped me with many performances within the past 10 years. It has also kept me from killing some people I know... NO YOU DO NOT TAKE IT EVERYDAY... only when performing or ready to KILL.
I can imagine what a surgeon must feel every time a body is laid on the operating table and it comes down to LIFE OR DEATH? Those men and women have hands made of gold and minds that can let go of so many mistakes as well as the most successful moments.
I know that there are times when I am cooking... (again the use of the hands, like musicians, surgeons, painters... writers...) and I fail to make something perfect. Usually my hands, heart and mind signal me screaming: DON'T SERVE THAT!
I can stop and RE-MAKE the plate. Re cook the steak... but when one is on a stage NO YOU FAKE IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT. Like being naked in front of the entire universe! Fine, if you are one of those people that won the DNA LOTTO you will look so great no one will care what you sound like...!
In all reality we all do this with our lives. We try to live it, but there are times we fake it and eventually the damn thing works.
I love Piotr's piano playing and his music touches me in places I must go at times. He is a most honest man! Hope I am.
Performance angst has literally murdered many a great performance of great music. A pianist performing a recital is a vessel through which music is channelled... being alone on a huge stage can be indescribable. One walks out and sits before a huge instrument... the piano. Your voice is released through your fingers, body language and silences.
The possibility that you may make a mistake, miss a "Que" when a certain Harmonic leading tone will transpose you to the next musical passage... I for one hate the fearful drama.
Years ago I thrived on it. Performing was like a drug. I needed the approval of applause, adoration, simply being one with my ego? In later years I discovered that I had a "musical past" being a pianist. Could I perform up to the glorious moments of my past? The doubt, questions and fears gradually begin seeping into moments of my then current performances.
Up until I turned 55 years of age... then I began to realize one thing: I had an audience of young people. Young musicians that expected perfection and confidence from the moment I set foot on that stage. The responsibility became over whelming at times. I spent a fortune on hypnosis. I guess it helped, but I still had these ghosts that whisper: YOU WILL FAIL, haunting my mind and body, most all my very nerve endings.
20 years ago they started giving drugs for such anxiety. Enderil? I cannot recall the name of the drug. I think it was used as a beta blocker. Ages ago I took one before a recital only to feel "OUT OF IT"
OMG, I would have been better off if I had toked a joint! There is one drug that does help: XANEX.
I know it is addictive? Well, so it milk, Advil, Alcohol and a few other things that are approved to be fine for the entire human race. Taking a very tiny bite of Zanex has helped me with many performances within the past 10 years. It has also kept me from killing some people I know... NO YOU DO NOT TAKE IT EVERYDAY... only when performing or ready to KILL.
I can imagine what a surgeon must feel every time a body is laid on the operating table and it comes down to LIFE OR DEATH? Those men and women have hands made of gold and minds that can let go of so many mistakes as well as the most successful moments.
I know that there are times when I am cooking... (again the use of the hands, like musicians, surgeons, painters... writers...) and I fail to make something perfect. Usually my hands, heart and mind signal me screaming: DON'T SERVE THAT!
I can stop and RE-MAKE the plate. Re cook the steak... but when one is on a stage NO YOU FAKE IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT. Like being naked in front of the entire universe! Fine, if you are one of those people that won the DNA LOTTO you will look so great no one will care what you sound like...!
In all reality we all do this with our lives. We try to live it, but there are times we fake it and eventually the damn thing works.
I love Piotr's piano playing and his music touches me in places I must go at times. He is a most honest man! Hope I am.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
past blogs
I have taken the time to re read some of my past blogs. One of my favorites: Friday, Jan. 30, 2009.
The Ensemble. Those years were magic beyond belief for me and my music.
The Ensemble. Those years were magic beyond belief for me and my music.
update on my veggie garden...
Today was sunshine and roses. Tonight will be just like the old song: Moonlight and Roses.
Had a long, long walk today. Lots of gorgeous bodies laying beside the lake and on the lake. Tons of people eating ice cream and cold drinks. I sat on a bench eating my sandwich... sipping coffee and thanked the universe for all the many times I have taken off my clothes, jumped into cold lakes, streams and most of all I was always so excited for sunshine. The endless times I simply went from sunshine into night and sometimes forgot morning! (I usually had a serious headache in the mornings after??!!)
All things considered life is fantastic. I am very happy to be 66 and enjoying good health. I have finally come to peace with the past and hope to find peace with the future. A kind word and Smile do wonders for my soul. Today walking along the beach so many foreigners would smile and say "HI" as they walked by. I smiled back and thought of all the kind things people have ever given me. Most of all understanding and smiles.
Must water the garden! FULL MOON TONIGHT. I will be up all night. The full moon is like a powerful stimulant that feeds my spirit. It pulls me out of any bad mood or depression I may be living in. LUNA.
I am the Man That Fell In Love With The Moon...
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Feeling much better
Ah, I think I am restored somewhat to my normal (what in hell normal is?) self. I have been in a horrible FUNK. Depressed... then happy... anxious about nothing and then exhausted. I hate it when my brain chemicals drop head first into the basement of despair.
I am a "sensitive". That can be a difficult blessing or a dreadful curse. I learned 60 years ago how to draw a circle of invisible light energy around my body that would protect me from outside emotions. Emotions are pure energy and every emotion is felt because of a chemical reaction to some kind of action. Emotions have vibrations and color. They can guide us or destroy us. Music, art, poetry, literature, dance, drama have all played a very important part in saving me from my self. WHY?
When I was a little boy music became my "voice". I learned how to use it and it's force has forever been the blessed olive branch between my mind and heart. I can sit with a musical score and marvel at it's code of dots, horizontal and vertical lines, spaces and mathematics that give birth to sound, color and emotion. I relate music completely with nature. Nature is pure music to my mind, heart and spirit.
Even as I am composing this blog post I am listening to Debussy.
The past few days my body and mind and heart have been out of tune. I have simply not been tuning the instrument! I allowed far too many outside vibrations to set of a dissonance I could not understand.
I could not stand the sound of it inside my sacred space. The dissonance was screaming negative sounds that have no meaning except separation, anger, fear and the most dreadful thing in the world to my way of thinking: helplessness.
I could not sleep last night. I chased my damn pillow around the bed 100 times. I strangled myself with my sheets, I rolled on my right side, I rolled to my left side. I tried laying on my back, stomach and finally got out of bed, walked up the stairs to the upper level of the house.
Opened the door into the garden. The firmament was breath taking! The milky way a highway paved with diamonds. The Southern Cross gleamed like a sacred icon from the most sacred cathedral in the universe... a melody started faintly playing inside my brain... a little melody I learned as boy in one of my piano method books! I started laughing and then I felt tears on my cheeks. Tears are jewels. I know for a fact that when I am distressed IF I get in the truck and start driving and then crying I feel fantastic. They seem to release all kinds of unsay able things. Tears are rivers of RELEASE.
I walked around the garden in my bare feet absorbing the dew on the grass, inhaling the scent of early morning light. Magic. It worked... a healing beyond explanation. I'm good today. OMG, I may do something creative and fun before tomorrow!
I am a "sensitive". That can be a difficult blessing or a dreadful curse. I learned 60 years ago how to draw a circle of invisible light energy around my body that would protect me from outside emotions. Emotions are pure energy and every emotion is felt because of a chemical reaction to some kind of action. Emotions have vibrations and color. They can guide us or destroy us. Music, art, poetry, literature, dance, drama have all played a very important part in saving me from my self. WHY?
When I was a little boy music became my "voice". I learned how to use it and it's force has forever been the blessed olive branch between my mind and heart. I can sit with a musical score and marvel at it's code of dots, horizontal and vertical lines, spaces and mathematics that give birth to sound, color and emotion. I relate music completely with nature. Nature is pure music to my mind, heart and spirit.
Even as I am composing this blog post I am listening to Debussy.
The past few days my body and mind and heart have been out of tune. I have simply not been tuning the instrument! I allowed far too many outside vibrations to set of a dissonance I could not understand.
I could not stand the sound of it inside my sacred space. The dissonance was screaming negative sounds that have no meaning except separation, anger, fear and the most dreadful thing in the world to my way of thinking: helplessness.
I could not sleep last night. I chased my damn pillow around the bed 100 times. I strangled myself with my sheets, I rolled on my right side, I rolled to my left side. I tried laying on my back, stomach and finally got out of bed, walked up the stairs to the upper level of the house.
Opened the door into the garden. The firmament was breath taking! The milky way a highway paved with diamonds. The Southern Cross gleamed like a sacred icon from the most sacred cathedral in the universe... a melody started faintly playing inside my brain... a little melody I learned as boy in one of my piano method books! I started laughing and then I felt tears on my cheeks. Tears are jewels. I know for a fact that when I am distressed IF I get in the truck and start driving and then crying I feel fantastic. They seem to release all kinds of unsay able things. Tears are rivers of RELEASE.
I walked around the garden in my bare feet absorbing the dew on the grass, inhaling the scent of early morning light. Magic. It worked... a healing beyond explanation. I'm good today. OMG, I may do something creative and fun before tomorrow!
Thursday, January 17, 2013
My distress... My angst?
I am living with a situation some people have lived with and some have not a clue what I will be writing about.
When and IF? one's body, the physical body lives beyond it's DNA at times the mind can out live the body? NO... One cannot live without the other. I am living with a 95 year old woman that only wants to go home? She is completely helpless.. She has not any recall of her immediate family, friends or life the past 90 years.
I am watching her only living son go through hell... he cares for her beyond anything I would ever do for my parents without the help and need of some care giver. I do not, and mind you, I do not mean I do not LOVE MY PARENTS BEYOND WORDS... I simply would and could not do what he is doing. I do not change underpants very well... I do not put on make up, I do not dress and take care of women. My sisters can and would. I cannot. His anger and frustration drives me into distraction. At times I say things and then I listen to how rotten I am? I will try to help beyond making meals and doing laundry etc. only to be told I am not nice? Dementia/ the other disease he will not speak a word about It is a word that he will not accept help with or discuss... It lives within the world I am living and breathing within.
One thing: I dumped so many things regarding religion 1000 years ago... I believe in KARA MA. Most of the people that are in my life are because of something I did in a past lifetime or I will do in this life time do to balance help some of the ?????? guilt? Karmic justice? what ever.
I learned 30 some odd years ago that the people I meet up with during my lifetime are for a reason. I know that some are what I refer to as STAR SEED CHILDREN of MINE. They are very precious spirits I knew and still KNOW from many other lifetimes and the thing that startles my spirit: they KNOW ME. I KNOW THEM. I will never be able to live without them. I have 3 precious beings STAR SEED PERSONS... THEY KNOW WHO THEY ARE... and they will take care of me when I fall apart... god willing I do not loose my damn mind!
When I was 14 years old my piano teachers had known me in another lifetime. I fell in love with mystic love affairs that were from past lifetimes... I met people that guided me into places from all over the planet to near by places where I grew up because of one thing: they simply did not know they were taking me into places and situations I had to experience in this life time. I learned years later THEY knew somethings I never could have imagined at the time, in the 60's???
During the years I studied piano with a very old teacher he always said: YOU ARE A VERY OLD SOUL INSIDE A NEW BODY? WTF? I would ponder on this when I was 16 years old... I read "The Prophet" by Gilbran... This little book has kept me alive for more lifetimes than I will ever be able to explaine. I would and cannot ever go anywhere one earth without it. The book. I composed a piece of music for the man and his words. Go to my youtube side at the bottom of this blog... you can hear what I think of the man and his words and art. I kind of knew what he was talking about... then years later I honestly knew. Children COME THRU YOU THEY ARE NOT OF YOU... parents must learn and know this fact. how right is that?
My Grandmothers were not a mistake in my life. They knew things my mother only now knows. They knew how to care and love. THEY DID NOT JUDGE because they knew how to live without hate and angst toward any one. I grew and learned how to hate men with priesthoods, politics, ego and most of fears fear in and of itself. WOMEN have always know the TRUTH. They have always known Forgiveness, and they they have known love beyond the stars.
No matter how one may blame their parents, mother, father, for all of their situations.............. they, the parents, really did the best they could and most of all SO DID YOU and ME! If one can survive their parents they have over come GUILT, FEAR AND MOST OF ALL ANGER. Fathers and some mothers can become bigotted and hateful for no other reason than fear and anger. Kiss the day goodbye. The gift was ours to borrow. We did what we had to do... will write a fun blog in a few days. Death seems to be hanging over my life right now... guess that is why I love 6' Under. Kiss today goodbye.
When and IF? one's body, the physical body lives beyond it's DNA at times the mind can out live the body? NO... One cannot live without the other. I am living with a 95 year old woman that only wants to go home? She is completely helpless.. She has not any recall of her immediate family, friends or life the past 90 years.
I am watching her only living son go through hell... he cares for her beyond anything I would ever do for my parents without the help and need of some care giver. I do not, and mind you, I do not mean I do not LOVE MY PARENTS BEYOND WORDS... I simply would and could not do what he is doing. I do not change underpants very well... I do not put on make up, I do not dress and take care of women. My sisters can and would. I cannot. His anger and frustration drives me into distraction. At times I say things and then I listen to how rotten I am? I will try to help beyond making meals and doing laundry etc. only to be told I am not nice? Dementia/ the other disease he will not speak a word about It is a word that he will not accept help with or discuss... It lives within the world I am living and breathing within.
One thing: I dumped so many things regarding religion 1000 years ago... I believe in KARA MA. Most of the people that are in my life are because of something I did in a past lifetime or I will do in this life time do to balance help some of the ?????? guilt? Karmic justice? what ever.
I learned 30 some odd years ago that the people I meet up with during my lifetime are for a reason. I know that some are what I refer to as STAR SEED CHILDREN of MINE. They are very precious spirits I knew and still KNOW from many other lifetimes and the thing that startles my spirit: they KNOW ME. I KNOW THEM. I will never be able to live without them. I have 3 precious beings STAR SEED PERSONS... THEY KNOW WHO THEY ARE... and they will take care of me when I fall apart... god willing I do not loose my damn mind!
When I was 14 years old my piano teachers had known me in another lifetime. I fell in love with mystic love affairs that were from past lifetimes... I met people that guided me into places from all over the planet to near by places where I grew up because of one thing: they simply did not know they were taking me into places and situations I had to experience in this life time. I learned years later THEY knew somethings I never could have imagined at the time, in the 60's???
During the years I studied piano with a very old teacher he always said: YOU ARE A VERY OLD SOUL INSIDE A NEW BODY? WTF? I would ponder on this when I was 16 years old... I read "The Prophet" by Gilbran... This little book has kept me alive for more lifetimes than I will ever be able to explaine. I would and cannot ever go anywhere one earth without it. The book. I composed a piece of music for the man and his words. Go to my youtube side at the bottom of this blog... you can hear what I think of the man and his words and art. I kind of knew what he was talking about... then years later I honestly knew. Children COME THRU YOU THEY ARE NOT OF YOU... parents must learn and know this fact. how right is that?
My Grandmothers were not a mistake in my life. They knew things my mother only now knows. They knew how to care and love. THEY DID NOT JUDGE because they knew how to live without hate and angst toward any one. I grew and learned how to hate men with priesthoods, politics, ego and most of fears fear in and of itself. WOMEN have always know the TRUTH. They have always known Forgiveness, and they they have known love beyond the stars.
No matter how one may blame their parents, mother, father, for all of their situations.............. they, the parents, really did the best they could and most of all SO DID YOU and ME! If one can survive their parents they have over come GUILT, FEAR AND MOST OF ALL ANGER. Fathers and some mothers can become bigotted and hateful for no other reason than fear and anger. Kiss the day goodbye. The gift was ours to borrow. We did what we had to do... will write a fun blog in a few days. Death seems to be hanging over my life right now... guess that is why I love 6' Under. Kiss today goodbye.
Wednesday, January 09, 2013
Saturday, December 22, 2012
IN GOD WE TRUST?
I usually never post anything political or controversial on my blog however, due to the recent shooting in the USA of innocent children and people that were kind and caring human beings murdered in the name of what? Insanity? Freedom to bare arms? Mental Illness? Because we have a culture hooked on sensationalism of blowing up buildings, killing humans with machine guns, releasing anger and hate by murdering the "images" of things that remind them of their past when they were abused, injured, unjustly accused of sins... I need to write.
I grew up in a house with guns. NOT GUNS THAT THE MILITARY WOULD USE IN WARS!
My father hunted deer every autumn. The rifles were secured in a wooden box he had made with pad locks, just in case we kids got into places we had no business poking around in?
When I was 12-14 I saved money and purchased a Remington 22 rifle. I took very precious care of that rifle. I shot birds, I was a killer!!!!!!!! I NEVER IN MY WILDEST FANTASIES EVER IMAGINED TURNING THAT 22 ONTO A HUMAN BEING? Was something wrong with me?
I went Deer Hunting once. I lay ed the bead of a gun on the head of a deer. I fell to pieces. I could not shoot living and breathing creature with gorgeous eyes and such a Lethe body such as a deer! I was forgiven and told not to worry.
I happen to love Venison. Elk and Venison are two of my favorite meats! I simply cannot kill animals.
I has forever amazed and the fact stunned me spiritually and mentally that a country like America can use such a mantra as: IN GOD WE TRUST, yet use weapons of mass destruction? WHY? WHERE IS GOD... and do not tell me he needs guns to keep his image perfectly in tact? When CHRIST WAS BORN PEOPLE WERE NOT KILLING EACH OTHER WITH GUNS~ go figure!
I was bullied in grade school as a child. The image or thought of killing one of the four bullies that beat up on me with a gun, DAMIT IT NEVER EVER ENTERED MY MIND. I was raised to believe in arbitration. One talked things out... they made peace agreements...
In my many years of traveling, my own regrets and pain, my own joys and discoveries of love I have learned: SAFETY IS ACHIEVED IN SIDE THE MENTAL AND SPIRITUAL DNA OF OUR MINDS AND SOULS. NOT ANYWHERE ELSE. NO CHURCH, NO GOVT. NO, NO, NO!
Minds can and are CONTROLLED BY MEDIA and GUILT and FEAR. FEAR IS THE GREATEST POWER ON THIS PLANET. IT WORKS! LOOK AROUND. TAKE A REALLY GOOD LOOK!!! (in god we trust???)
DEATH WILL AND DOES EQUALIZE US.
Why are America's so damn afraid of death? Why can they not put all of their faith in their GOD and live in peace and harmony? I know, many do, but they forget that even CHINA has made great changes... USSR is not the same country as when I was a little boy... Viet Nam? I went there 3 times. I can only imagine what many men witnessed during the 2nd WW. Remember when Bush had the vision to blow up Iraq? They had not attacked us? Iraq is the cradle of civilization? Why in hell did he not blow the hell out of Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia? blow them off the earth? They ATTRACT US. We have 8,000 missiles that can blow us into dust... into the next universe of? WE NEED THEM.
If Americans honestly believe in the Bible... NOT THE OLD TESTAMENT: Jesus said: I give you a new commandment: LOVE ONE ANOTHER as I HAVE LOVED YOU. That had nothing to do with REPUBLICAN or DEMOCRATIC MORALS. IT IS PLAIN AS DAY, LOVE ONE ANOTHER. That translates: you love and forgive everything in your life. IF NOT YOU WILL SUFFER. That means you must forgive yourself and love homosexuals, mentally ill people, humans that have strange and different belief systems... polygamists, politician's, popes, prophets, circus acts, and musicians...
America is a "WAR MACHINE"... we manufacture bombs, guns, weapons... we cannot use them so let's sell them to 3rd world countries... we already sell enough to Americans.
I have friends with over 50 guns in their homes... IN GOD WE TRUST? If God cannot protect you from a bullet or death? One must spend some time with nature and a trained counselor... hate and anger has become a part of America that I do not like. Get rid of Hennity, Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh, Glen Beck... you will once again give me a Republican Party I used to believe in.
I grew up in a house with guns. NOT GUNS THAT THE MILITARY WOULD USE IN WARS!
My father hunted deer every autumn. The rifles were secured in a wooden box he had made with pad locks, just in case we kids got into places we had no business poking around in?
When I was 12-14 I saved money and purchased a Remington 22 rifle. I took very precious care of that rifle. I shot birds, I was a killer!!!!!!!! I NEVER IN MY WILDEST FANTASIES EVER IMAGINED TURNING THAT 22 ONTO A HUMAN BEING? Was something wrong with me?
I went Deer Hunting once. I lay ed the bead of a gun on the head of a deer. I fell to pieces. I could not shoot living and breathing creature with gorgeous eyes and such a Lethe body such as a deer! I was forgiven and told not to worry.
I happen to love Venison. Elk and Venison are two of my favorite meats! I simply cannot kill animals.
I has forever amazed and the fact stunned me spiritually and mentally that a country like America can use such a mantra as: IN GOD WE TRUST, yet use weapons of mass destruction? WHY? WHERE IS GOD... and do not tell me he needs guns to keep his image perfectly in tact? When CHRIST WAS BORN PEOPLE WERE NOT KILLING EACH OTHER WITH GUNS~ go figure!
I was bullied in grade school as a child. The image or thought of killing one of the four bullies that beat up on me with a gun, DAMIT IT NEVER EVER ENTERED MY MIND. I was raised to believe in arbitration. One talked things out... they made peace agreements...
In my many years of traveling, my own regrets and pain, my own joys and discoveries of love I have learned: SAFETY IS ACHIEVED IN SIDE THE MENTAL AND SPIRITUAL DNA OF OUR MINDS AND SOULS. NOT ANYWHERE ELSE. NO CHURCH, NO GOVT. NO, NO, NO!
Minds can and are CONTROLLED BY MEDIA and GUILT and FEAR. FEAR IS THE GREATEST POWER ON THIS PLANET. IT WORKS! LOOK AROUND. TAKE A REALLY GOOD LOOK!!! (in god we trust???)
DEATH WILL AND DOES EQUALIZE US.
Why are America's so damn afraid of death? Why can they not put all of their faith in their GOD and live in peace and harmony? I know, many do, but they forget that even CHINA has made great changes... USSR is not the same country as when I was a little boy... Viet Nam? I went there 3 times. I can only imagine what many men witnessed during the 2nd WW. Remember when Bush had the vision to blow up Iraq? They had not attacked us? Iraq is the cradle of civilization? Why in hell did he not blow the hell out of Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia? blow them off the earth? They ATTRACT US. We have 8,000 missiles that can blow us into dust... into the next universe of? WE NEED THEM.
If Americans honestly believe in the Bible... NOT THE OLD TESTAMENT: Jesus said: I give you a new commandment: LOVE ONE ANOTHER as I HAVE LOVED YOU. That had nothing to do with REPUBLICAN or DEMOCRATIC MORALS. IT IS PLAIN AS DAY, LOVE ONE ANOTHER. That translates: you love and forgive everything in your life. IF NOT YOU WILL SUFFER. That means you must forgive yourself and love homosexuals, mentally ill people, humans that have strange and different belief systems... polygamists, politician's, popes, prophets, circus acts, and musicians...
America is a "WAR MACHINE"... we manufacture bombs, guns, weapons... we cannot use them so let's sell them to 3rd world countries... we already sell enough to Americans.
I have friends with over 50 guns in their homes... IN GOD WE TRUST? If God cannot protect you from a bullet or death? One must spend some time with nature and a trained counselor... hate and anger has become a part of America that I do not like. Get rid of Hennity, Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh, Glen Beck... you will once again give me a Republican Party I used to believe in.
Friday, December 21, 2012
Queenstown Dec. 22, 2012 The end of the world...
Ah! We made it. All the doom sayers have to know that most of the humans and animals on earth including plant life made it, we are fine. The Mayan Calendar has some flaws appearently, but It did not stop many people from the RAPTURE of building underground bunkers and buying food, water and guns in order to survive. At my age I trust in GOD a bit more than the calendars! Death is not horrible. It is peace and love away from the angst and pain of life on earth.
Spring Cherry Blossoms on a flag hanging inside my studio door window. Nice image of love, light and peace...
NOLA November 2012
Sunday, December 09, 2012
Gorgeous summer day
Ah! Finally SUMMER!
I am such a slob. I did not take any photos, however, my chicken salad on croissants with all kinds of sides was a BIG SUCCESS! I put dill in my chicken salad. It gives it a certain TANG and BANG!
I invented a new recipe for PEANUT BUTTER COOKIES. They honestly turned out divine. I have not baked cookies in years. I will recreate my old COWBOY Cookies from the 60's. They needed lots more butter and nutmeg. I will get it all figured out. Must be old age and the holidays... the cookies?
Loving my life within the Autumn of my life means: I love very SMALL PARTIES. Meaning: No more than 4 extra people. Why? Because I can listen, that means hear what the people are discussing... I can SEE the expressions on their faces, I can FEEL the ENERGY they are radiating...
This afternoon I had two of my dearest friends in for lunch and wine. Karina trained me for years at the old BODY WORKS GYM here in QT. She is a MONSTER when it comes to DOING WHAT YOU MUST DO TO DEVELOP SHOULDERS, LEGS, the list is endless... Now, we laugh at all of the past and muse how enamored we were to having a perfect body! My space suit is just fine the way it is, but I still have to go to a gym 3 times a week? I am SCREWED UP? No, it makes me feel good.
Karina and Jimmy Karina's partner have a new baby. A Jack Russell 8 months old named Charlie. What a joy this dog is! They have moved from the city that keeps rocking and shaking, Christchurch. They bought a house in Alexandra. I LIKE Alex. It is a very NZ community. So they are now within an hours drive away from QT.
My studio window is full of plants! I have to plant the out side wall of my studio with pansies, etc......
We are finally finding our legs on a and within a new lifestyle and planet?
Later.
I am such a slob. I did not take any photos, however, my chicken salad on croissants with all kinds of sides was a BIG SUCCESS! I put dill in my chicken salad. It gives it a certain TANG and BANG!
I invented a new recipe for PEANUT BUTTER COOKIES. They honestly turned out divine. I have not baked cookies in years. I will recreate my old COWBOY Cookies from the 60's. They needed lots more butter and nutmeg. I will get it all figured out. Must be old age and the holidays... the cookies?
Loving my life within the Autumn of my life means: I love very SMALL PARTIES. Meaning: No more than 4 extra people. Why? Because I can listen, that means hear what the people are discussing... I can SEE the expressions on their faces, I can FEEL the ENERGY they are radiating...
This afternoon I had two of my dearest friends in for lunch and wine. Karina trained me for years at the old BODY WORKS GYM here in QT. She is a MONSTER when it comes to DOING WHAT YOU MUST DO TO DEVELOP SHOULDERS, LEGS, the list is endless... Now, we laugh at all of the past and muse how enamored we were to having a perfect body! My space suit is just fine the way it is, but I still have to go to a gym 3 times a week? I am SCREWED UP? No, it makes me feel good.
Karina and Jimmy Karina's partner have a new baby. A Jack Russell 8 months old named Charlie. What a joy this dog is! They have moved from the city that keeps rocking and shaking, Christchurch. They bought a house in Alexandra. I LIKE Alex. It is a very NZ community. So they are now within an hours drive away from QT.
My studio window is full of plants! I have to plant the out side wall of my studio with pansies, etc......
We are finally finding our legs on a and within a new lifestyle and planet?
Later.
Wednesday, December 05, 2012
SUNDAY BRUNCHES
For over 28 years we have opened The Nordic Inn Memorial Day Weekend and closed for the year end of September. There have been the odd years when we were open during the winter season or remained open into mid October because of fine weather and tourists.
I work 14 hours a day 7 days a week from the hour we first open the doors for business until we close. This is not a living hell for me. I love what I do for a living.
I have never worked a job that I did not like. The years I made a living playing piano... I did not take on gigs that were not pleasant or paid me NOT a decent wage. I simply would quit a job IF it meant some kind of anxiety and hell for me mentally, physically and spiritually.
Mind you, I do not escape from problems and challenges within the work place. Work is work. Work should and must reward us in ways that makes us happy. Be it money, acclaim, self esteem.
I did not learn how to play piano easily. I WORKED at it. PRACTICED for hours beyond my own imagination. I made mistakes. Lots of wrong notes but sometimes one cannot learn the correct notes without hitting the wrong ones first!
One thing I WAS A TOTAL FAILURE AT: SCHOOL WORK. HOMEWORK as it is called! I simply hated doing homework. I would practice piano for hours instead of sitting with my books with pencil and paper at hand. I loved listening to lectures in class at College and University, but the homework... OMG........ if the course was being taught by a charismatic teacher I could manage to retain their lectures inside my head, but IF NOT! FAILURE.
Sorry, I am drifting off the subject of SUNDAY BRUNCHES. Years ago I decided to make Sunday Mornings a special event within the restaurant. Change the daily menu and offer a Brunch menu 'round 11 AM until 1:00 PM. It was a success but like so many ideas that are so fun in the beginning they can turn into MONSTERS.
I always know when Sunday rolls around because on Saturday evening after the dinner hours I stay up prepping for SUNDAY BRUNCH. Sunday Brunch at Brenthoven's can easily serve over a 100 plates. I am a very small intimate restaurant and take pride in not rushing people over their meals, allowing space and time for every one's needs but Sundays can prove to be something of a ADVENTURE.
This year 2012 has been such a year of tragic and comedic adventures on SUNDAY BRUNCH'S. I now call them: SUNDAY CRUNCHES. I will not bore one with all the details except for one event which I could not ever imagine would ever happen.
Picture a PERFECT SUMMER'S DAY... Patio is full, inside the restaurant is FULL... drinks, coffee are flowing... Sara is on both stations. She is a brilliant waitress. I have help in the kitchen even though orders are PILING UP LIKE BRICKS... eggs are not cooking on the stove or on the grill. French Toast is WET. My hell, it has been on the grill for over 20 minutes!!! Water will not boil for Eggs Benedict... Sara is NOT SCREAMING, but WOULD LIKE TO, "WHERE IN HELL ARE MY ORDERS???????!!!!!!!##$%%^^&" I am going crazy.
I AM OUT OF PROPANE. In Western WY we use Propane tanks. WTH? We have people asking WHY? We have people ANGRY? We have un happy people. I tell Sara, "You will have to tell them we are out of GAS!" She is not in the least amused. She is very kind to me but informs me SHE WILL NOT AND CAN NOT TELL PEOPLE TO GET UP AND LEAVE. Matt, my "gofer" Sous chef in training says, (I'll tell 'um!) he does!!!
Another Sara comes to my aid. Sara Need. She walks up to my service window and says, "Brent, Bill can fix most anything do you want him to look at the situation?" "Sure Sara" I have propane bottles I use on the patio on cold evenings... Billy Neeb saves my ass. He used the flex tube from the big propane tank and connects it to the line going into my kitchen. Eggs begin to sizzle, water finds it's bubbles, French Toast becomes crispy... I owe the man a big favor.
We lost 30 some odd customers not out of anger, but we could not accommodate them. I was a dead man walking when I went to bed after brunch and the evening dinner shift.
Every Sunday came with open smiling arms full of challenges. The time the power went out. Toasters will not work. Coffee maker STOPS. FANS. Fans are a very important life source in a kitchen!
The Sunday a biker on the deck is having a heart attack. He is 39 years old! I thought it was my cooking! He had suffered with heart problems from a very early age. BUT WHY ON MY SUNDAY BRUNCH DAYS...
The Sundays I RAN OUT OF BACON! WORST THING: OUT OF HOME FRIED POTATOES. I make my home fries from real potatoes. NOT FROZEN ETC. The list is endless.
I believe it is a sign from the universe. I must simply go BACK to normal breakfast on Sunday. Lunch at 11:30 til 1:00 PM.
It is 10 minutes after 5 in the afternoon in QT. Wine TIME. I have many times said: To Goodness and Wisdom we only make promises; we OBEY PAIN. Well, my pain tells me no more Sunday Brunch just normal stuff!
I work 14 hours a day 7 days a week from the hour we first open the doors for business until we close. This is not a living hell for me. I love what I do for a living.
I have never worked a job that I did not like. The years I made a living playing piano... I did not take on gigs that were not pleasant or paid me NOT a decent wage. I simply would quit a job IF it meant some kind of anxiety and hell for me mentally, physically and spiritually.
Mind you, I do not escape from problems and challenges within the work place. Work is work. Work should and must reward us in ways that makes us happy. Be it money, acclaim, self esteem.
I did not learn how to play piano easily. I WORKED at it. PRACTICED for hours beyond my own imagination. I made mistakes. Lots of wrong notes but sometimes one cannot learn the correct notes without hitting the wrong ones first!
One thing I WAS A TOTAL FAILURE AT: SCHOOL WORK. HOMEWORK as it is called! I simply hated doing homework. I would practice piano for hours instead of sitting with my books with pencil and paper at hand. I loved listening to lectures in class at College and University, but the homework... OMG........ if the course was being taught by a charismatic teacher I could manage to retain their lectures inside my head, but IF NOT! FAILURE.
Sorry, I am drifting off the subject of SUNDAY BRUNCHES. Years ago I decided to make Sunday Mornings a special event within the restaurant. Change the daily menu and offer a Brunch menu 'round 11 AM until 1:00 PM. It was a success but like so many ideas that are so fun in the beginning they can turn into MONSTERS.
I always know when Sunday rolls around because on Saturday evening after the dinner hours I stay up prepping for SUNDAY BRUNCH. Sunday Brunch at Brenthoven's can easily serve over a 100 plates. I am a very small intimate restaurant and take pride in not rushing people over their meals, allowing space and time for every one's needs but Sundays can prove to be something of a ADVENTURE.
This year 2012 has been such a year of tragic and comedic adventures on SUNDAY BRUNCH'S. I now call them: SUNDAY CRUNCHES. I will not bore one with all the details except for one event which I could not ever imagine would ever happen.
Picture a PERFECT SUMMER'S DAY... Patio is full, inside the restaurant is FULL... drinks, coffee are flowing... Sara is on both stations. She is a brilliant waitress. I have help in the kitchen even though orders are PILING UP LIKE BRICKS... eggs are not cooking on the stove or on the grill. French Toast is WET. My hell, it has been on the grill for over 20 minutes!!! Water will not boil for Eggs Benedict... Sara is NOT SCREAMING, but WOULD LIKE TO, "WHERE IN HELL ARE MY ORDERS???????!!!!!!!##$%%^^&" I am going crazy.
I AM OUT OF PROPANE. In Western WY we use Propane tanks. WTH? We have people asking WHY? We have people ANGRY? We have un happy people. I tell Sara, "You will have to tell them we are out of GAS!" She is not in the least amused. She is very kind to me but informs me SHE WILL NOT AND CAN NOT TELL PEOPLE TO GET UP AND LEAVE. Matt, my "gofer" Sous chef in training says, (I'll tell 'um!) he does!!!
Another Sara comes to my aid. Sara Need. She walks up to my service window and says, "Brent, Bill can fix most anything do you want him to look at the situation?" "Sure Sara" I have propane bottles I use on the patio on cold evenings... Billy Neeb saves my ass. He used the flex tube from the big propane tank and connects it to the line going into my kitchen. Eggs begin to sizzle, water finds it's bubbles, French Toast becomes crispy... I owe the man a big favor.
We lost 30 some odd customers not out of anger, but we could not accommodate them. I was a dead man walking when I went to bed after brunch and the evening dinner shift.
Every Sunday came with open smiling arms full of challenges. The time the power went out. Toasters will not work. Coffee maker STOPS. FANS. Fans are a very important life source in a kitchen!
The Sunday a biker on the deck is having a heart attack. He is 39 years old! I thought it was my cooking! He had suffered with heart problems from a very early age. BUT WHY ON MY SUNDAY BRUNCH DAYS...
The Sundays I RAN OUT OF BACON! WORST THING: OUT OF HOME FRIED POTATOES. I make my home fries from real potatoes. NOT FROZEN ETC. The list is endless.
I believe it is a sign from the universe. I must simply go BACK to normal breakfast on Sunday. Lunch at 11:30 til 1:00 PM.
It is 10 minutes after 5 in the afternoon in QT. Wine TIME. I have many times said: To Goodness and Wisdom we only make promises; we OBEY PAIN. Well, my pain tells me no more Sunday Brunch just normal stuff!
Tuesday, December 04, 2012
New Zealand at last! Dec. 2012
Driving to Idaho Falls in route to NOLA and NYC. I do appear to be OUT OF MY MIND and BODY. No worries. I made it. New Orleans was heaven, the food beyond imagination. NYC will forever be the center of universe for me and Batman.
House in Alpine first snow storm. We had the house painted this year. It was looking like something out of What ever Happened to Baby Jane! This was not a heavy snow storm.
Arrived in QT a day late. Flew on the new Qantas Air Bus from LAX to Sydney AU. Quiet, and no bumps. It makes for a slower flight, but so comfy. Leg room. MIND YOU WE DO NOT TRAVEL in Business or First Class! Missed the connection flight to QT so Qantas put us up in a swank hotel downtown Sydney, all meals, drinks, taxi fares, rooms PAID FOR. Hell, it would have saved them money to simply put us on the flight to QT.
It is spring time. Pansies are in blossom. Roses are gorgeous. Started back at the gym today. UGH! I remember the days I pranced around this town in tank tops! NO MORE! BUT: I do believe in the magic of exercise and it does allow me to eat. If I do not work out I could be 400 lbs.
Tomorrow, I will begin writing about the events of the past summer. Stay tuned.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)