The fullness, the abundance and energy of moon light was divine. Last night marked the 1st full moon of 2009, but when the moon is FULL, BRIGHT, ROUND AS A PERIL OUT OF HEAVEN'S OCEAN I really don't count day by day the degrees that it is blossoming or decreasing in size... main thing: It is the same moon that has been there for eons.
I know all the people I have loved and never met in the flesh gazed on that same moon! I know many people that have crossed over in my lifetime and they too exchanged light and energy with the moon!
January 2009 has proven to be a magical year so far. One thing I do appreciate is my I Pod. I also use I tunes every night and day.
I listen to Classical music on a station that comes out of Laramie Wyoming! I cannot receive a tight connection with this PBS station when I AM IN WYOMING! but, here at the bottom of planet earth I have PERFECT RECEPTION. It is a wonderful station.
KYUW Classical 91. So, I have a part of Wyoming inside my ears most of the time!
Speaking of the moon, one has to be humbled thinking that in 1604 Galileo observed for the first time, the heaven's through a telescope!
Just think what he would see today! The International Space Station! The Hubble telescope... the Mar's Rover, just think only 400 years ago the Catholic Church tried to BURN Galileo because of the things he was seeing with his telescope. At last, most people are finally accepting WHERE WE LIVE WITHIN THE UNIVERSE, THE MILKY WAY!
Finished an interesting book last night. "Running With Scissors", by Augsten Burroughs. I have always been suspicious of psychiatrists. I have known a few in my lifetime and the results have been frightening. Not adding the medications, endless hours of talking and the Doctor does not banter back and forth in the conversations... HE LISTENS! The book is worth a read because of the humor as well as the tragic subject matter that created Augsten's childhood.
I am so pleased to be able to walk down the steep paths into the village and then walk UP the steep paths that lead to our house. For two years I have had a hell of time walking because of pain... well, today I went to Simon the Physio therapist. He is from England. Young and beautiful. He has stretched my legs and relaxed the stress inside my lower back to the place it was before I had the kidney removed! The Laying on of Hands. My masseuse, Sonja, has healing powers and almost every Thursday she kneads my gnarly body until it is pliant as bread dough.
I am living a life of bliss. I get up when I want and I go to bed when I want. I work in the gardens, then lay down in the sunlight. I bake bread, I create meals, I play my piano, I take long hot baths in Epsom salts and I am feeling like myself once again. OMG, I will probably explode into one of those obese, eccentric queens that wear long gowns and have sea shell glass frames... lots of grease on their faces and droopy eye lids... NOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo!
2008 was a rough year. Lots of LESSONS that had to be learned or put aside until another lifetime. The numbers 2 and 9 are powerful numbers which are in the equation 2009 and they = 11= a MASTER NUMBER!
We have a new President in the United States... He might end up being the same thing with a different mask? We are entering a new paradigm shift spiritually and the entire planet is moving into a slower hotter vibration! NICE!
I love re watching movies that I have loved for years, so tonight will be a "Let's see, what do I want to watch?" or, possibly just meditate, or forget it, put on the I Pod, grab the book I have been reading for months, "The Confessions" by Jean-Jacques Rousseau. Read until the ear buds fall out of my ears and the book falls to the side of the bed!
Summer is heaven on earth! I take nothing for granted. End of May I will be working 14 hours a day into the night... 7 days and nights a week! I never feel guilt during these 5 months! I HAVE EARNED EVERY RESTFUL MOMENT!
Monday, January 12, 2009
Thursday, January 01, 2009
A New Year... 2009
I have great reason to be 'released' from 2008! I survived the past 12 months and I believe I have learned the lessons!
What a year of Lessons that HAD TO BE LEARNED and it seemed they could only be LEARNED via pain, suffering and forgiveness. Mind you, I had no idea I was carrying such an Gargantua amount of garbage and destructive emotional energy that began fermenting into quite a powerful toxic as well as fantastically healing brew from the time I was born!
I thank my lucky stars for every single vibration be it positive, negative or passive that has helped make me into the person I am today. Everything I am came from simply one word: VIBRATION!
Music was my gift, the simple 'talent' that would take me 'round the world and introduce me to some of the most bazaar as well as amazing human beings on this planet.
Music is a land where I did any damn thing I wanted because, more than any place on earth, it offered me the opportunity to CREATE my own reality. I could spend hours alone at the organ or piano IMPROVISING any image or emotions I wanted within the fame work of SOUND.
Cheat music and it will cheat on you!
Music is a land where DISCIPLINE, DEDICATION and DETERMINATION abound. Any composition will sound 'beautiful' and 'meaningful' or 'desirous' BUT and only IF, it is not performed as TRUTH, somewhere in the learning process of the composition you have "CHEATED"! I know this to be abso-fucking-lutely TRUE!
Beauty and truth in MOTION make music and dance come alive and touch the soul of the very universe we are all a part of.
Because of MUSIC I am who I am. My music lead me on a course of self discovery and learning I never imagined possible when I was a 6 year old boy! Even when I was a 43 year old man! Or when I was a 62 year old man!
2009 is an amazing number in numerology. 2 being an "active" number and 9 a number of "transition" or as some people claim it is the number of "completion"... 9+2=11... 11 is a master number!
This year is full of activity, through ongoing vibrational impulse, attempting to move everything toward transformation. When things seem to be going to hell this year REMEMBER: deliberately and consistently install moments of quietness, stillness and emptiness into your daily NOW... (these words are from my friend Diviana!)
I feel that all the people in my life I have 'created' and I see them as musical notes, triads and scales, arpeggios, some have been fast glissando's, some fortissimo, some pianissimo... some very Dolce or just andante!
Many of these gorgeous people have left the earth plane, but they vibrate and make a sound that I desire in my "Life's symphony" they are never far away, they are part of my very being. Every breath and heart beat they live and make their very presence known only to me!
My musical "mentors" are very much with me always! They are alive and live in New York, Idaho, Utah and some like Brahms or Bach have long left their bodies.
Brahms was a most complex man loving two people at once was not uncommon for him! He kept the company of men...He was extremely generous with his money, living quarters and gave men and WOMEN beautiful gifts. BUT, he was out spoken! Rude and very blunt... Honesty with no pretense.
He lost two of his dearest companions of his life within months of each other... Clara Wieck Schumann and Jochiem the violinist.
Brahms captured the confusing unsaid dilemmas of philosophy, of unrequited love, of words and touch not given in the physical but held in one's own private mind and a secret place within one's heart.
A most intuitive, very private as well as sexual thing. That is the JOY OF MUSIC! It is life!
This is going to be a "CRACKER" of a year.
What a year of Lessons that HAD TO BE LEARNED and it seemed they could only be LEARNED via pain, suffering and forgiveness. Mind you, I had no idea I was carrying such an Gargantua amount of garbage and destructive emotional energy that began fermenting into quite a powerful toxic as well as fantastically healing brew from the time I was born!
I thank my lucky stars for every single vibration be it positive, negative or passive that has helped make me into the person I am today. Everything I am came from simply one word: VIBRATION!
Music was my gift, the simple 'talent' that would take me 'round the world and introduce me to some of the most bazaar as well as amazing human beings on this planet.
Music is a land where I did any damn thing I wanted because, more than any place on earth, it offered me the opportunity to CREATE my own reality. I could spend hours alone at the organ or piano IMPROVISING any image or emotions I wanted within the fame work of SOUND.
Cheat music and it will cheat on you!
Music is a land where DISCIPLINE, DEDICATION and DETERMINATION abound. Any composition will sound 'beautiful' and 'meaningful' or 'desirous' BUT and only IF, it is not performed as TRUTH, somewhere in the learning process of the composition you have "CHEATED"! I know this to be abso-fucking-lutely TRUE!
Beauty and truth in MOTION make music and dance come alive and touch the soul of the very universe we are all a part of.
Because of MUSIC I am who I am. My music lead me on a course of self discovery and learning I never imagined possible when I was a 6 year old boy! Even when I was a 43 year old man! Or when I was a 62 year old man!
2009 is an amazing number in numerology. 2 being an "active" number and 9 a number of "transition" or as some people claim it is the number of "completion"... 9+2=11... 11 is a master number!
This year is full of activity, through ongoing vibrational impulse, attempting to move everything toward transformation. When things seem to be going to hell this year REMEMBER: deliberately and consistently install moments of quietness, stillness and emptiness into your daily NOW... (these words are from my friend Diviana!)
I feel that all the people in my life I have 'created' and I see them as musical notes, triads and scales, arpeggios, some have been fast glissando's, some fortissimo, some pianissimo... some very Dolce or just andante!
Many of these gorgeous people have left the earth plane, but they vibrate and make a sound that I desire in my "Life's symphony" they are never far away, they are part of my very being. Every breath and heart beat they live and make their very presence known only to me!
My musical "mentors" are very much with me always! They are alive and live in New York, Idaho, Utah and some like Brahms or Bach have long left their bodies.
Brahms was a most complex man loving two people at once was not uncommon for him! He kept the company of men...He was extremely generous with his money, living quarters and gave men and WOMEN beautiful gifts. BUT, he was out spoken! Rude and very blunt... Honesty with no pretense.
He lost two of his dearest companions of his life within months of each other... Clara Wieck Schumann and Jochiem the violinist.
Brahms captured the confusing unsaid dilemmas of philosophy, of unrequited love, of words and touch not given in the physical but held in one's own private mind and a secret place within one's heart.
A most intuitive, very private as well as sexual thing. That is the JOY OF MUSIC! It is life!
This is going to be a "CRACKER" of a year.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Seeing places on earth where I have traveled...
I am enjoying something that one must live long enough to experience and thanks to the COMPUTER I am able to explore this 'dream' in ways that years ago would have been impossible.
A week ago, I decided to search out places where I performed with the USO during the late 60's and into the 70's. This adventure has stirred up old memories of people, weather conditions, smells and emotions that I was feeling as a man in his early 20's! The anxieties, doubts, hopes, fears, insecurities and loneliness of travel...
I loved the tours I made into the Pacific Islands. The Marshall Islands have changed since I was there. I spent Thanksgiving at Eniwetok Atoll in the Marshall's around 1972. The Islands were full of radiation due to the atomic bomb testing in the 40's. (god, possibly I picked up some radiation during that time??????) I did a google search and everything MARSHALL ISLANDS popped up. It has been wonderful to see the culture, people and 2009 lifestyle of these Islanders!
I found Johnston Island. This Island had meaning to me because of it's name. Also, I visited Midway, Rota and parts of the Samoan Islands which I thought were heavenly as well as the people were heavenly.
Viet Nam, Guam, Thailand, the Philippines are nothing like when I performed on their turf except the climate, and the people look the same and I am sure that health and lifestyle has improved.
I used a Wurlitzer Electronic Piano! Today, Yamaha has a keyboard that SOUNDS LIKE AND HAS THE KEYBOARD OF A GRAND PIANO! Not in the late 60's! The piano I was hauling around had to be set for 240 voltage, not 110! I wore jump-suit tuxedos with glitter on them! We used sound systems that we thought were state of the art, but by today's standards they were dinosaurs! I remember being in the Mekong Delta and asked where my dressing room was? They handed me a large nail.
I made three trips to South East Asia. Korea and Viet Nam being the main centers. I have old photos of shows I backed in Okinawa Japan and interesting enough, I read where Okinawa is one of the healthiest places on earth to live! Dha?
Iceland was one of my favorite places. I get the Icelandic News every day via my e mail. Even Iceland has changed so much from when I was there! Alaska was simply ice and snow when I played there, so even though I loved the "NORTHERN EXPOSURE" series on television a few years ago, I never saw Alaska in the summer months.
Some places have not changed one being Morocco. Turkey was 'magical' to me when I was 22 going on 23. I remember my 23rd Birthday in Ankora. Very big drunken event! I did love Greece. I know, I know, some people hate that hot white sunshine and the food, but I thought the energy was indescribable when I was very young and swimming naked, in the sea at sunset was a religious moment to my way of thinking. The Greeks know how to make love...
I have returned to Europe a few times, but the Mediterranean I have not visited since my first USO tour in 1969. When I was in Madrid it was going through a complete 'make-over', one only has to go on line to see that city NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Memories are wonderful and time frames are precious, but the future is forever OUT THERE! I keep reaching out for more. I do not mind change. The only change I mind, some days is the change within and outside my body!
One day I'll write a book! (now that is really talking in the FUTURE!)
A week ago, I decided to search out places where I performed with the USO during the late 60's and into the 70's. This adventure has stirred up old memories of people, weather conditions, smells and emotions that I was feeling as a man in his early 20's! The anxieties, doubts, hopes, fears, insecurities and loneliness of travel...
I loved the tours I made into the Pacific Islands. The Marshall Islands have changed since I was there. I spent Thanksgiving at Eniwetok Atoll in the Marshall's around 1972. The Islands were full of radiation due to the atomic bomb testing in the 40's. (god, possibly I picked up some radiation during that time??????) I did a google search and everything MARSHALL ISLANDS popped up. It has been wonderful to see the culture, people and 2009 lifestyle of these Islanders!
I found Johnston Island. This Island had meaning to me because of it's name. Also, I visited Midway, Rota and parts of the Samoan Islands which I thought were heavenly as well as the people were heavenly.
Viet Nam, Guam, Thailand, the Philippines are nothing like when I performed on their turf except the climate, and the people look the same and I am sure that health and lifestyle has improved.
I used a Wurlitzer Electronic Piano! Today, Yamaha has a keyboard that SOUNDS LIKE AND HAS THE KEYBOARD OF A GRAND PIANO! Not in the late 60's! The piano I was hauling around had to be set for 240 voltage, not 110! I wore jump-suit tuxedos with glitter on them! We used sound systems that we thought were state of the art, but by today's standards they were dinosaurs! I remember being in the Mekong Delta and asked where my dressing room was? They handed me a large nail.
I made three trips to South East Asia. Korea and Viet Nam being the main centers. I have old photos of shows I backed in Okinawa Japan and interesting enough, I read where Okinawa is one of the healthiest places on earth to live! Dha?
Iceland was one of my favorite places. I get the Icelandic News every day via my e mail. Even Iceland has changed so much from when I was there! Alaska was simply ice and snow when I played there, so even though I loved the "NORTHERN EXPOSURE" series on television a few years ago, I never saw Alaska in the summer months.
Some places have not changed one being Morocco. Turkey was 'magical' to me when I was 22 going on 23. I remember my 23rd Birthday in Ankora. Very big drunken event! I did love Greece. I know, I know, some people hate that hot white sunshine and the food, but I thought the energy was indescribable when I was very young and swimming naked, in the sea at sunset was a religious moment to my way of thinking. The Greeks know how to make love...
I have returned to Europe a few times, but the Mediterranean I have not visited since my first USO tour in 1969. When I was in Madrid it was going through a complete 'make-over', one only has to go on line to see that city NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Memories are wonderful and time frames are precious, but the future is forever OUT THERE! I keep reaching out for more. I do not mind change. The only change I mind, some days is the change within and outside my body!
One day I'll write a book! (now that is really talking in the FUTURE!)
Friday, December 26, 2008
What in Hell?
I have spent a hell of a lot of time writing a blog only to have it evaporate into space? I will re-write tomorrow.
Until then: Have a most glorious holiday and do not sweat the small stuff!
All the small things (Bush and Cheney) are going to go away with the year 2008 and all kinds of VERY LARGE AND WONDERFULLY BIG THINGS will appear in 2009.
Much love, BJ
Until then: Have a most glorious holiday and do not sweat the small stuff!
All the small things (Bush and Cheney) are going to go away with the year 2008 and all kinds of VERY LARGE AND WONDERFULLY BIG THINGS will appear in 2009.
Much love, BJ
Friday, December 19, 2008
To Worry OR NOT to WORRY?
The past few days I have received many alerts pertaining to the current economic and the political situation in the USA and the world.
Many persons that I hold in high esteem because they are intelligent, (and far wiser than me), tell me one must have certain items on hand in order to handle the up coming events. Mainly food and medical/health supplies.
Others tell me it is all hype, the media has gone bonkers and to over react it exactly how the powers that be; CONTROL US EARTHLINGS!
Well, I do know that the economy in the USA has gone to hell. For some it is a blessing. BUY, BUY and then some more buying properties, stocks and what ever else will make tons of money in the years to come, however, if you are a wage earner or even less, (of which I was for years) you do not view this situation as a blessing!
I must agree with one thing: A person is stupid that does not have the knowledge and the energy to grow a vegetable garden. A person is stupid that will not question authority and it's source or information. One should and must plan for bad times. Having plenty of rice, flour, sugar and water on hand is not an insane idea. Having canned goods, mainly beans, meats and fruits in cases is a very good thing because it saves not only trips to the grocery, but there are times you simply do not want to do the daily shopping thing. (If you are chef, you love seeing the things you need when inspiration tells you to create a certain food item, and the ingredients are there, in your pantry!)
I have always maintained that a person should have a supply of antibiotics, pain killers and anti-inflammatory drugs at the ready, because I have seen and lived through some times in my past that required such things and they were not available due to situations occurring on weekends, holidays or being out of the country and needing help!
Matches, and batteries are a reality, plus extra blankets and first aid kits, and I am not talking about the early Gurl Scout packs. You can purchase a fabulous first aid kit on line or from any pharmacy. I keep one in my kitchen in the restaurant and it is one of the most valuable instruments within the range of creating food. (not counting gallons of Aleve, Advil, and Xanax.)
Ships are sitting in ports around the world that are supposed to be sailing to America. They are full of iron ore, food, raw materials for making everything from drugs to condoms... THEY WILL NOT SAIL! WHY? America has no credit. America cannot be trusted to pay the debt. We barrow from China just to keep our war with Iraq going! Would you send a billion dollar cargo ship to Seattle when you are not sure IF they can give you the money owed, let alone, a credit card?
I say: Put cash aside in a safety deposit box, in a Kerr Jar in the garden! Buy staples in cases, huge amounts. Like: a flat of pork 'n beans, a case of black beans, a case of stewed tomatoes, a case of tuna fish, a case of pasta, a few extra boxes of salt, pounds of flour. YEAST! OMG if you don't know how to make bread LEARN! Sugar is important as well as all kinds of lentils, root veggies, like: Carrots, Cabbage, Beets, Potatoes, Turnips... stuff you can grown on the very earth your living on!
Do keep in mind: you may want to stash away some booze? Cheap WINE! Diet Coke and CHIPS! I really doubt digital devices will disappear. WHY? THEY WERE ALWAYS THERE WE SIMPLY DID NOT KNOW HOW TO CONNECT WITH THEM, besides we are only digits with in a HOLOGRAPHIC INTERCONNECTED PARADIGM. My friend Diviana calls it HIP. The universe and everything in it is a majestic dream unfolding within an infinite supremely whole and infinite hologram... (Diviana)
God will work with you but nor for you! I learned that thousands of years ago, that is why the Mormon Church hates me as well as the Catholics and most of all the Baptists. Some say it is GAY ISSUES! NOT SO! I know, that they DON'T KNOW and that is ALARMING as HELL to MOST, CHRISTIANS!
All day, I have been slowly simmering a fantastic all natural vegetable soup. Used everything from cabbage to beans. I dug through every shelf and drawer we had in this house for what ever in hell could be put into a stew. Well, I just took a break and ran upstairs. It is divine. I chopped some of my glorious herbs and lots of onions and other goodies to make the stock.
Wish you were here. Natural delight tonight!
Stock up on the things you always use and most of all stock up of light, love and fearlessness.
Many persons that I hold in high esteem because they are intelligent, (and far wiser than me), tell me one must have certain items on hand in order to handle the up coming events. Mainly food and medical/health supplies.
Others tell me it is all hype, the media has gone bonkers and to over react it exactly how the powers that be; CONTROL US EARTHLINGS!
Well, I do know that the economy in the USA has gone to hell. For some it is a blessing. BUY, BUY and then some more buying properties, stocks and what ever else will make tons of money in the years to come, however, if you are a wage earner or even less, (of which I was for years) you do not view this situation as a blessing!
I must agree with one thing: A person is stupid that does not have the knowledge and the energy to grow a vegetable garden. A person is stupid that will not question authority and it's source or information. One should and must plan for bad times. Having plenty of rice, flour, sugar and water on hand is not an insane idea. Having canned goods, mainly beans, meats and fruits in cases is a very good thing because it saves not only trips to the grocery, but there are times you simply do not want to do the daily shopping thing. (If you are chef, you love seeing the things you need when inspiration tells you to create a certain food item, and the ingredients are there, in your pantry!)
I have always maintained that a person should have a supply of antibiotics, pain killers and anti-inflammatory drugs at the ready, because I have seen and lived through some times in my past that required such things and they were not available due to situations occurring on weekends, holidays or being out of the country and needing help!
Matches, and batteries are a reality, plus extra blankets and first aid kits, and I am not talking about the early Gurl Scout packs. You can purchase a fabulous first aid kit on line or from any pharmacy. I keep one in my kitchen in the restaurant and it is one of the most valuable instruments within the range of creating food. (not counting gallons of Aleve, Advil, and Xanax.)
Ships are sitting in ports around the world that are supposed to be sailing to America. They are full of iron ore, food, raw materials for making everything from drugs to condoms... THEY WILL NOT SAIL! WHY? America has no credit. America cannot be trusted to pay the debt. We barrow from China just to keep our war with Iraq going! Would you send a billion dollar cargo ship to Seattle when you are not sure IF they can give you the money owed, let alone, a credit card?
I say: Put cash aside in a safety deposit box, in a Kerr Jar in the garden! Buy staples in cases, huge amounts. Like: a flat of pork 'n beans, a case of black beans, a case of stewed tomatoes, a case of tuna fish, a case of pasta, a few extra boxes of salt, pounds of flour. YEAST! OMG if you don't know how to make bread LEARN! Sugar is important as well as all kinds of lentils, root veggies, like: Carrots, Cabbage, Beets, Potatoes, Turnips... stuff you can grown on the very earth your living on!
Do keep in mind: you may want to stash away some booze? Cheap WINE! Diet Coke and CHIPS! I really doubt digital devices will disappear. WHY? THEY WERE ALWAYS THERE WE SIMPLY DID NOT KNOW HOW TO CONNECT WITH THEM, besides we are only digits with in a HOLOGRAPHIC INTERCONNECTED PARADIGM. My friend Diviana calls it HIP. The universe and everything in it is a majestic dream unfolding within an infinite supremely whole and infinite hologram... (Diviana)
God will work with you but nor for you! I learned that thousands of years ago, that is why the Mormon Church hates me as well as the Catholics and most of all the Baptists. Some say it is GAY ISSUES! NOT SO! I know, that they DON'T KNOW and that is ALARMING as HELL to MOST, CHRISTIANS!
All day, I have been slowly simmering a fantastic all natural vegetable soup. Used everything from cabbage to beans. I dug through every shelf and drawer we had in this house for what ever in hell could be put into a stew. Well, I just took a break and ran upstairs. It is divine. I chopped some of my glorious herbs and lots of onions and other goodies to make the stock.
Wish you were here. Natural delight tonight!
Stock up on the things you always use and most of all stock up of light, love and fearlessness.
Friday, December 12, 2008
100% Full Moon
Last night the moon was magnificent!
Tonight is the FULL MOON. Venus and Jupiter are brighter than I ever remember.
Full moons are very sacred to me. Moonlight is a magical paler shade of white... I know people that claim the full moon
disrupts their ability to sleep? I sleep just fine moon or no moon. I do know that in our business, when there is a FULL
MOON, people behave differently. Alcohol seems to have a more intense effect upon the bar patrons as well as customers eating food in my restaurant. If you look out in the parking lot when the moon is in full light there are lots of pick up trucks!
The pick-up trucks usually mean ACTION for SOME ONE before the moon sets and the sun rises! Full moons cause lots of things to RISE so to speak!
Today was a beautiful day. I positioned my body on a comfortable bench in the out door mall and proceeded to watch people. Music was every where. Not many Americans, but lots of Europeans, Scandinavians, and South Americans, all speaking in their native languages. The different dialects makes for a most interesting
musical fugues... mix the voices with the sounds of traffic, background music from bars and the sound of people's shoes and feet grating along the pavement... wind, dogs barking, endless sounds. Some people would call it NOISE.
I have to watch body movements and eyes as well as the hands. Gestures can be marvelous interpretive
signs when trying to understand a foreigner attempt to express what they are feeling using their native language.
Along the water front were two very young men that I swear stepped out of San Francisco 1963... Hair piled on
their heads, beards and the clothing and shoes were priceless time pieces. One played what appeared to be a very old Ukulele
and the other played the Recorder. The recorder is like a flute. They used no amplification except the acoustic backside of the wind carrying the music to eager ears within the range of sound. I put 3 dollars into the cap they had laid on the cement for gifts of pocket change.
Hopefully they will have earned enough coins at the end of the afternoon so they could buy a lid of dope, or a cheap bottle of wine, better yet groceries.
So many memories flew threw my mind as I listened to their music, watching their bodies move to the music they were creating. Gentle, melodic, almost folk music and yet there was something very mystical and spiritual hidden within their music. The whole scene was like a past life regression moment.
I loved being in the sunshine. I did not care IF the rays burned my balding head! I did not care if the sunshine kissed my flesh too hotly this afternoon. I kept thinking about vitamin D as well as so many other gifts the sun affords us.
Moon light and sun light. Such sacred gifts. "Let There Be Light!"
Tonight is the FULL MOON. Venus and Jupiter are brighter than I ever remember.
Full moons are very sacred to me. Moonlight is a magical paler shade of white... I know people that claim the full moon
disrupts their ability to sleep? I sleep just fine moon or no moon. I do know that in our business, when there is a FULL
MOON, people behave differently. Alcohol seems to have a more intense effect upon the bar patrons as well as customers eating food in my restaurant. If you look out in the parking lot when the moon is in full light there are lots of pick up trucks!
The pick-up trucks usually mean ACTION for SOME ONE before the moon sets and the sun rises! Full moons cause lots of things to RISE so to speak!
Today was a beautiful day. I positioned my body on a comfortable bench in the out door mall and proceeded to watch people. Music was every where. Not many Americans, but lots of Europeans, Scandinavians, and South Americans, all speaking in their native languages. The different dialects makes for a most interesting
musical fugues... mix the voices with the sounds of traffic, background music from bars and the sound of people's shoes and feet grating along the pavement... wind, dogs barking, endless sounds. Some people would call it NOISE.
I have to watch body movements and eyes as well as the hands. Gestures can be marvelous interpretive
signs when trying to understand a foreigner attempt to express what they are feeling using their native language.
Along the water front were two very young men that I swear stepped out of San Francisco 1963... Hair piled on
their heads, beards and the clothing and shoes were priceless time pieces. One played what appeared to be a very old Ukulele
and the other played the Recorder. The recorder is like a flute. They used no amplification except the acoustic backside of the wind carrying the music to eager ears within the range of sound. I put 3 dollars into the cap they had laid on the cement for gifts of pocket change.
Hopefully they will have earned enough coins at the end of the afternoon so they could buy a lid of dope, or a cheap bottle of wine, better yet groceries.
So many memories flew threw my mind as I listened to their music, watching their bodies move to the music they were creating. Gentle, melodic, almost folk music and yet there was something very mystical and spiritual hidden within their music. The whole scene was like a past life regression moment.
I loved being in the sunshine. I did not care IF the rays burned my balding head! I did not care if the sunshine kissed my flesh too hotly this afternoon. I kept thinking about vitamin D as well as so many other gifts the sun affords us.
Moon light and sun light. Such sacred gifts. "Let There Be Light!"
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Last night the rain spoke to me...
Loving my down time... weather has expressed every possible mood swing!
Tonight the sky is lovely with racing clouds, stars and the occasional satellite sailing across the firmament.
Today was my yearly visit to my dentist here in QT. He is practically the only dentist to look in side my mouth in the past 17 years! (There have been the occasional emergency chipping of a tooth that required local attention in the states.) He did the X-rays and the usual poking and prying between teeth. I had no problems. I said, "OMG, that is the best news I have had from a Doctor in 8 months!" He laughed. I am fortunate to have inherited one healthy thing, well a lot of healthy parts to my anatomy, but the teeth I am grateful for.
Last night I went sound asleep only to awaken at around 4:45 AM. The sound of rain and first light of day reaching for the mountain peaks. I thought of a wonderful poem by one of my favorite poets, Mary Oliver. She is an amazing artist. I put on my bathrobe and walked onto the front porch so as to open the door of my studio. I reached for the book, there it was: Last Night The Rain Spoke To Me... It says so many things on so many levels...
Last night
the rain
spoke to me
slowly, saying,
what joy
to come falling
out of the brisk cloud,
to be happy again
in a new way
on the earth!
That's what it said
as it dropped,
smelling of iron,
and vanished
like a dream of the ocean
into the branches
and the grass below.'Then it was over.
The sky cleared.
I was standing
under a tree.
The tree was a tree
with happy leaves,
and I was myself,
and there were stars in the sky
that were also themselves
at the moment,
at which moment
my right hand
was holding my left hand
which was holding the tree
which was filled with stars
and the soft rain---
imagine! imagine!
the long, and wondrous journeys
still to be ours.
I am on a new adventure. I am writing and making music once again! If for nothing but my own amazement and joy!
Tonight the sky is lovely with racing clouds, stars and the occasional satellite sailing across the firmament.
Today was my yearly visit to my dentist here in QT. He is practically the only dentist to look in side my mouth in the past 17 years! (There have been the occasional emergency chipping of a tooth that required local attention in the states.) He did the X-rays and the usual poking and prying between teeth. I had no problems. I said, "OMG, that is the best news I have had from a Doctor in 8 months!" He laughed. I am fortunate to have inherited one healthy thing, well a lot of healthy parts to my anatomy, but the teeth I am grateful for.
Last night I went sound asleep only to awaken at around 4:45 AM. The sound of rain and first light of day reaching for the mountain peaks. I thought of a wonderful poem by one of my favorite poets, Mary Oliver. She is an amazing artist. I put on my bathrobe and walked onto the front porch so as to open the door of my studio. I reached for the book, there it was: Last Night The Rain Spoke To Me... It says so many things on so many levels...
Last night
the rain
spoke to me
slowly, saying,
what joy
to come falling
out of the brisk cloud,
to be happy again
in a new way
on the earth!
That's what it said
as it dropped,
smelling of iron,
and vanished
like a dream of the ocean
into the branches
and the grass below.'Then it was over.
The sky cleared.
I was standing
under a tree.
The tree was a tree
with happy leaves,
and I was myself,
and there were stars in the sky
that were also themselves
at the moment,
at which moment
my right hand
was holding my left hand
which was holding the tree
which was filled with stars
and the soft rain---
imagine! imagine!
the long, and wondrous journeys
still to be ours.
I am on a new adventure. I am writing and making music once again! If for nothing but my own amazement and joy!
Thursday, December 04, 2008
The magic of TOUCH...
Happy day! I have been 72 hours without taking a single Oxycontin pill!!!
Four weeks ago today, November the 5th they removed the cancer and repaired the hernia. Four weeks ago I did not know IF I would be able to make the long trip to New Zealand, but four weeks later I am back in Queenstown, and best news today: I have not taken any of the prescription pain pills.
Today I had an appointment with my Chiropractor Doctor. He is thrilled over the fact I am playing piano once again and the left elbow has healed. He adjusted my neck, which I knew was out of place... We talked about the cancer and how pain moves through the various nerves of the body.
Neki is from India. He has magic hands. I observe people's hands carefully. The Knee surgeon that replaced my left knee had the most beautiful hands you can imagine. My surgeons in Jackson Hole WY had wonderfully shaped hands. My Chiropractic Doctor in JH also has perfect hands, (but types with two fingers!) Neki is right up there with strong, intense fingers and his touch is pure energy.
I have always been very sensitive to touch. Playing an musical instrument involves touch and choreography of the entire body. I have always found the touch of keys on a piano to be sensuously smooth and hard... (No wonder I practice/play for hours on end! as strange as it sounds kind of like PLAYING WITH YOURSELF!)
One of my favorite lines from Gibran has to do with touch and sound... " If in the twilight of memory we should meet once more, we shall speak again together and you shall sing to me a deeper song, and if our hands should meet in another dream, we shall build another tower in the sky..."
I thank my lucky stars for the Internet! A friend that I have loved since the mid 1960's has a serious brain cancer. His niece was surfing the net and came upon my blog, from there she sent me an e mail and re-connected me with a friend that was a major player in the many dramas I "STARED" in during the 70's and early 80's! I visited with my friend in Maryland many times before my move to Wyoming years ago... We are linked once again, both having cancer and both reaching out our hands across the miles, touching as it were in another dream!
I remember my Aunt Lorraine, who lost her eye sight in the later years of her life, telling me that she could actually see with her hands... she could feel fabric and tell you what the color was! It was as if all her other senses were more acute because of the loss of one of her most important senses, the ability to see with the human eye! No wonder I love petting my cats!
Four weeks ago today, November the 5th they removed the cancer and repaired the hernia. Four weeks ago I did not know IF I would be able to make the long trip to New Zealand, but four weeks later I am back in Queenstown, and best news today: I have not taken any of the prescription pain pills.
Today I had an appointment with my Chiropractor Doctor. He is thrilled over the fact I am playing piano once again and the left elbow has healed. He adjusted my neck, which I knew was out of place... We talked about the cancer and how pain moves through the various nerves of the body.
Neki is from India. He has magic hands. I observe people's hands carefully. The Knee surgeon that replaced my left knee had the most beautiful hands you can imagine. My surgeons in Jackson Hole WY had wonderfully shaped hands. My Chiropractic Doctor in JH also has perfect hands, (but types with two fingers!) Neki is right up there with strong, intense fingers and his touch is pure energy.
I have always been very sensitive to touch. Playing an musical instrument involves touch and choreography of the entire body. I have always found the touch of keys on a piano to be sensuously smooth and hard... (No wonder I practice/play for hours on end! as strange as it sounds kind of like PLAYING WITH YOURSELF!)
One of my favorite lines from Gibran has to do with touch and sound... " If in the twilight of memory we should meet once more, we shall speak again together and you shall sing to me a deeper song, and if our hands should meet in another dream, we shall build another tower in the sky..."
I thank my lucky stars for the Internet! A friend that I have loved since the mid 1960's has a serious brain cancer. His niece was surfing the net and came upon my blog, from there she sent me an e mail and re-connected me with a friend that was a major player in the many dramas I "STARED" in during the 70's and early 80's! I visited with my friend in Maryland many times before my move to Wyoming years ago... We are linked once again, both having cancer and both reaching out our hands across the miles, touching as it were in another dream!
I remember my Aunt Lorraine, who lost her eye sight in the later years of her life, telling me that she could actually see with her hands... she could feel fabric and tell you what the color was! It was as if all her other senses were more acute because of the loss of one of her most important senses, the ability to see with the human eye! No wonder I love petting my cats!
Monday, December 01, 2008
Heros
I am sitting in my tiny speck of heaven. My studio in Queenstown, New Zealand. This tiny room is a small space the size of most people's walk-in closets. It has a wonderful sky light window that joins a full wall window that opens to allow fresh air and light into this sacred cell. I have posted photos of the inside of the studio on past blogs.
The gardens surrounding the house are over grown, but beautiful, with roses in bloom, pansies and my small herb garden survived the winter. Like the words from the song, Scarborough Fair I have sage, rosemary and thyme. But, I also have gorgeous chives, robust mint and soon basil will be in pots that sit on the steps leading to the upper gardens.
This morning is glorious with the sunshine and views of the lake and mountains. The birds are singing hymns to the morning light and praise for a new day! The morning mist and play on light and shadow always touchs a hidden place inside my mind and heart... like poetry and music.
I did have some reservations about my ability to fly for such long periods of time this soon after the surgeries. Everything went well in SLC International. Then LAX is always confusing to me. Why is this airport such a dilemma when it comes to finding the International Terminal after landing and getting out on the sidewalk? For 19 years I have either lost luggage, or made the wrong turn when walking out of the terminal and ended up at the wrong destination. We made it through security just in time and I was the last person to board the Qantas 747 plane that would land in Auckland NZ 11 hours later. My heart skipped a few beats as I walked down the ramp onto the plane. I was flying as had been planned months ago! I did not cry, I just kept on walking. I was shaky and tired, but dear GOD I WAS ON THE PLANE! The trip was smooth and I slept most of the way until we landed in NZ.
I watched a stupid show last night on CNN about heroes. Maybe we need heroes. I have one that has stood by me through every kind of drama, that person would be Michael. He has been a rock when I have lost loved ones, fallen ill, stressed over performances, worried about the business, you name it he has been my hero through thick and through thin. Speaking of thin, OMG, I remember years ago trying to loose weight, never imagining the day would come when I would be TRYING TO GAIN WEIGHT! What the hell? I am back up to 152.5 lbs this morning. I weighed in at 150 when we hit the ground in NZ, but I do believe the loss of pounds was due to stress and concern about flying as well as the food on Qantas was shit. I mean it.
Qantas usually has fine food and leg room, not anymore! They wanted $5000.00 dollars for me to up grade to business class.
I said NO to such an insane figure. Why would people that have zillions of dollars even pay such a price? It is an insult to one's intelligence. So I think!
Yesterday I walked to the center of town. Had afternoon tea and did some banking and posting of cards. Practiced Bach Preludes and Fugues until midnight! Speaking within the language of music is bliss. Learning new music is a mental and physical exercise only a musician understands.
I do believe I have nearly reached the top of the mountain and will be healthy once again! I have mountains of things I hope to enjoy and achieve during my holiday. For one thing I will catch up writing this blog.
I adore my friends and love you. You are my extended family and in reality no doubt my real spiritual family.
Until later, seek love, light and bliss.
The gardens surrounding the house are over grown, but beautiful, with roses in bloom, pansies and my small herb garden survived the winter. Like the words from the song, Scarborough Fair I have sage, rosemary and thyme. But, I also have gorgeous chives, robust mint and soon basil will be in pots that sit on the steps leading to the upper gardens.
This morning is glorious with the sunshine and views of the lake and mountains. The birds are singing hymns to the morning light and praise for a new day! The morning mist and play on light and shadow always touchs a hidden place inside my mind and heart... like poetry and music.
I did have some reservations about my ability to fly for such long periods of time this soon after the surgeries. Everything went well in SLC International. Then LAX is always confusing to me. Why is this airport such a dilemma when it comes to finding the International Terminal after landing and getting out on the sidewalk? For 19 years I have either lost luggage, or made the wrong turn when walking out of the terminal and ended up at the wrong destination. We made it through security just in time and I was the last person to board the Qantas 747 plane that would land in Auckland NZ 11 hours later. My heart skipped a few beats as I walked down the ramp onto the plane. I was flying as had been planned months ago! I did not cry, I just kept on walking. I was shaky and tired, but dear GOD I WAS ON THE PLANE! The trip was smooth and I slept most of the way until we landed in NZ.
I watched a stupid show last night on CNN about heroes. Maybe we need heroes. I have one that has stood by me through every kind of drama, that person would be Michael. He has been a rock when I have lost loved ones, fallen ill, stressed over performances, worried about the business, you name it he has been my hero through thick and through thin. Speaking of thin, OMG, I remember years ago trying to loose weight, never imagining the day would come when I would be TRYING TO GAIN WEIGHT! What the hell? I am back up to 152.5 lbs this morning. I weighed in at 150 when we hit the ground in NZ, but I do believe the loss of pounds was due to stress and concern about flying as well as the food on Qantas was shit. I mean it.
Qantas usually has fine food and leg room, not anymore! They wanted $5000.00 dollars for me to up grade to business class.
I said NO to such an insane figure. Why would people that have zillions of dollars even pay such a price? It is an insult to one's intelligence. So I think!
Yesterday I walked to the center of town. Had afternoon tea and did some banking and posting of cards. Practiced Bach Preludes and Fugues until midnight! Speaking within the language of music is bliss. Learning new music is a mental and physical exercise only a musician understands.
I do believe I have nearly reached the top of the mountain and will be healthy once again! I have mountains of things I hope to enjoy and achieve during my holiday. For one thing I will catch up writing this blog.
I adore my friends and love you. You are my extended family and in reality no doubt my real spiritual family.
Until later, seek love, light and bliss.
Monday, November 24, 2008
off line for a while...
I am on the mend. Every day I seem to be able to do more than the day before. Most of all I can play piano. In my
60's I HATE PERFORMING at the piano, but I LOVE PLAYING the piano. I am able to cook dinner every night and today I drove to Thayne Wyoming, did grocery shopping, post office business and some banking, so I am out and about.
Tomorrow late afternoon we will close the house for the season and fill the pick up full of luggage and things to take to Utah as well as New Zealand. Spend Thanksgiving with my parents and fly out the next afternoon. November 28. Fly from SLC to LAX and from LAX to Auckland New Zealand which is about a 12 hour flight. Then go through customs and catch another flight to Queenstown, which is on the South Island.
I will be back on line by the first week in December. It has been a difficult 8 months, but I feel confident everything will begin looking up. I remember years ago when I was in my late 20's and early 30's I suffered some horrific problems, but after much consternation and grief I moved on past the demons and depression stepping into a different light. Hopefully I will do the same in the coming weeks and months.
60's I HATE PERFORMING at the piano, but I LOVE PLAYING the piano. I am able to cook dinner every night and today I drove to Thayne Wyoming, did grocery shopping, post office business and some banking, so I am out and about.
Tomorrow late afternoon we will close the house for the season and fill the pick up full of luggage and things to take to Utah as well as New Zealand. Spend Thanksgiving with my parents and fly out the next afternoon. November 28. Fly from SLC to LAX and from LAX to Auckland New Zealand which is about a 12 hour flight. Then go through customs and catch another flight to Queenstown, which is on the South Island.
I will be back on line by the first week in December. It has been a difficult 8 months, but I feel confident everything will begin looking up. I remember years ago when I was in my late 20's and early 30's I suffered some horrific problems, but after much consternation and grief I moved on past the demons and depression stepping into a different light. Hopefully I will do the same in the coming weeks and months.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
The bend in the road
We closed the Nordic Inn the last Sunday night in September. I was totally exhausted. Usually I am elated and over the moon with happiness knowing what lays ahead. NYC, piano lessons with my two mentors, concerts at Carnegie Hall and long walks through Central Park, hours in the Metropolitan Museum of Art and the Moma. Time alone in a city that never sleeps! I had reservations at the Wellington Hotel, behind Carnegie Hall, my plane tickets and dates and times for performance classes and tickets to certain concerts I wanted to attend. I cancelled the trip due to health problems.
I could not muster the strength to practice piano and I had gone from a 175-185 pound man to 140 pounds in less than two months! After much begging from friends and loved ones I made an appointment with a fine surgeon/MD in Jackson Hole. I had a bad hernia that needed to be FIXED! After my consultations with the surgeon he immediately had a slew of tests arranged the next day. Blood, X-rays, then upper and lower GI tests, more X-rays and at the last moment he decided I needed a CAT-SCAN. I was worn out after a full morning and afternoon in the hospital. They would call me as soon as the results were in.
I have been having LORDEX treatments on my spine and they worked like magic! I had finished a treatment and was climbing into my pick up when my cell phone began ringing. It was the Doctor. He was in Idaho Falls on business but felt he must call me ASAP to inform me I had a very serious tumor growning on the lower part of my left kidney. He said that is had to be looked into immediately! I told him to please find a specialist in the area and set an appointment for me. Two days later I was set up for surgery. I was full of E-Coli Bacteria, so we had to delay the surgery and I started on a course of strong antibiotics.
I entered the hospital on November 5th around 11 AM. The pre-op work had been done the day before and so it was a matter of getting out of my clothes and into the smart looking hospital gown... meet the anatheseist and the nurse was an angel explaining all the things that were going to take place. At 2:15 PM I was given a shot in the IV they had placed in the wrist of my left hand. It seemed we were flying into the operating room. I do recall the lights and people inside the room. I would have two surgeons assisting each other. One removing the tumor and the other repairing the hernia. 3 1/2 hours later I was in recovery... The hernia was a mess. It was a Pantaloon Hernia. One hernia is coming out, the other is going in... I have three incisions. One below the navel, one on each side of the navel. The tumor on the kidney was the size of a large lemon.
It was cancer. They removed 1/3 of my left kidney and the entire tumor. Because of the size of the tumor I will have more tests the first part of February when I am in New Zealand.
Of course I felt no pain the first night and next morning. I had a epidermal and drip in my back, drips with antibiotics, morphine, my food and a catheter. Could not really move, eat or drink fluids but I had no pain. Day three they took out the catheter, the epidermal and some of the IV drips. By 3:00 PM I was praying that I would see THE PROVERBIAL LIGHT! THERE WAS NO LIGHT! I was crying, my lungs were full of fluid and the pain was unexplainable.
The pain was a number 10 on a scale of one to ten. I had four nurses helping me and my surgeon was called in. They gave me a strong anti inflammatory through he IV and a different pain medicine. It took a good two hours before I passed through the BEND IN THE ROAD. I must say, that is one time in my life I honestly prayed to die.
I have a 10 inch cut on the left side of my back that comes around my hip and under the rib cage. It is swollen but, the pain is under control. I am home, reading, resting, playing piano, writing and taking gentle walks into the woods. I am cooking meals and baking fantastic chololate chip cookies as well as yummy Oatmeal cookies. (Trying to put on some weight!) Yesterday I drove the pick up to the Post Office and local grocery store. I am regaining my strength and my weight is up to 150 pounds!
A week ago I walked out of the hospital. Today Michael drove me up to see the Doctors. I have the okay for my trip to New Zealand. Have to be careful for the next 6 weeks. Can't lift much or do anything strenuous. BUT, I will be able to fly the long flight from LAX to Auckland. It will be early spring when I arrive in Queenstown. I have 5 blessed months to heal.
Hopefully they captured all the cancer. They removed a cancerous polyp from my colon during the lower GI tests. When they told me I had cancer I never dreamed it would be in the kidney! I thought bladder, lungs, stomach BRAIN? but not the kidney.
Now, here is the interesting part. 8 months ago, my dear friend Belva Bloomer analyzed my saliva before and after my knee surgery in NZ. She told me that my left kidney was only functioning at about 30%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have lived in an amazing body. The nurses in the hospital could not believe that I am 62 years old and this is the first time I have had any serious surgery except for my knee replacement! I have my own teeth, good hearing and sight and most of all friends that love me and a wonderful extended family I adore.
Will write more later... but at least I made it around the bend in the road! I have an entire belief about why and how my kidney became the host for the cancer... I may write about it and I may not. Spirit will guide me.
I've missed writing my blog for so long and once again it will become a way for relase and healing.
I could not muster the strength to practice piano and I had gone from a 175-185 pound man to 140 pounds in less than two months! After much begging from friends and loved ones I made an appointment with a fine surgeon/MD in Jackson Hole. I had a bad hernia that needed to be FIXED! After my consultations with the surgeon he immediately had a slew of tests arranged the next day. Blood, X-rays, then upper and lower GI tests, more X-rays and at the last moment he decided I needed a CAT-SCAN. I was worn out after a full morning and afternoon in the hospital. They would call me as soon as the results were in.
I have been having LORDEX treatments on my spine and they worked like magic! I had finished a treatment and was climbing into my pick up when my cell phone began ringing. It was the Doctor. He was in Idaho Falls on business but felt he must call me ASAP to inform me I had a very serious tumor growning on the lower part of my left kidney. He said that is had to be looked into immediately! I told him to please find a specialist in the area and set an appointment for me. Two days later I was set up for surgery. I was full of E-Coli Bacteria, so we had to delay the surgery and I started on a course of strong antibiotics.
I entered the hospital on November 5th around 11 AM. The pre-op work had been done the day before and so it was a matter of getting out of my clothes and into the smart looking hospital gown... meet the anatheseist and the nurse was an angel explaining all the things that were going to take place. At 2:15 PM I was given a shot in the IV they had placed in the wrist of my left hand. It seemed we were flying into the operating room. I do recall the lights and people inside the room. I would have two surgeons assisting each other. One removing the tumor and the other repairing the hernia. 3 1/2 hours later I was in recovery... The hernia was a mess. It was a Pantaloon Hernia. One hernia is coming out, the other is going in... I have three incisions. One below the navel, one on each side of the navel. The tumor on the kidney was the size of a large lemon.
It was cancer. They removed 1/3 of my left kidney and the entire tumor. Because of the size of the tumor I will have more tests the first part of February when I am in New Zealand.
Of course I felt no pain the first night and next morning. I had a epidermal and drip in my back, drips with antibiotics, morphine, my food and a catheter. Could not really move, eat or drink fluids but I had no pain. Day three they took out the catheter, the epidermal and some of the IV drips. By 3:00 PM I was praying that I would see THE PROVERBIAL LIGHT! THERE WAS NO LIGHT! I was crying, my lungs were full of fluid and the pain was unexplainable.
The pain was a number 10 on a scale of one to ten. I had four nurses helping me and my surgeon was called in. They gave me a strong anti inflammatory through he IV and a different pain medicine. It took a good two hours before I passed through the BEND IN THE ROAD. I must say, that is one time in my life I honestly prayed to die.
I have a 10 inch cut on the left side of my back that comes around my hip and under the rib cage. It is swollen but, the pain is under control. I am home, reading, resting, playing piano, writing and taking gentle walks into the woods. I am cooking meals and baking fantastic chololate chip cookies as well as yummy Oatmeal cookies. (Trying to put on some weight!) Yesterday I drove the pick up to the Post Office and local grocery store. I am regaining my strength and my weight is up to 150 pounds!
A week ago I walked out of the hospital. Today Michael drove me up to see the Doctors. I have the okay for my trip to New Zealand. Have to be careful for the next 6 weeks. Can't lift much or do anything strenuous. BUT, I will be able to fly the long flight from LAX to Auckland. It will be early spring when I arrive in Queenstown. I have 5 blessed months to heal.
Hopefully they captured all the cancer. They removed a cancerous polyp from my colon during the lower GI tests. When they told me I had cancer I never dreamed it would be in the kidney! I thought bladder, lungs, stomach BRAIN? but not the kidney.
Now, here is the interesting part. 8 months ago, my dear friend Belva Bloomer analyzed my saliva before and after my knee surgery in NZ. She told me that my left kidney was only functioning at about 30%!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have lived in an amazing body. The nurses in the hospital could not believe that I am 62 years old and this is the first time I have had any serious surgery except for my knee replacement! I have my own teeth, good hearing and sight and most of all friends that love me and a wonderful extended family I adore.
Will write more later... but at least I made it around the bend in the road! I have an entire belief about why and how my kidney became the host for the cancer... I may write about it and I may not. Spirit will guide me.
I've missed writing my blog for so long and once again it will become a way for relase and healing.
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
I'm back!
The summer season was flowing like honey. The knee replacement is a dream, help was good and the business a perfect balance between, patio dining, inside restaurant and the bar crowd. I cooked every meal except for a few rare exceptions when I absolutely needed help.
August 8th I suffered a complete mental and physical melt down. I usually weigh in at 175 pounds and IF I'M WORKING OUT AT THE GYM usually around 185. I went from 180 pounds to 141.05 pounds. Some days I weigh in around 144. Last year I suffered with unrelenting pain on the left side of my body. End of July I began experiencing severe pain in the right side of my lower back which radiated down the into the front of my thigh. I could hardly stand and I stand up to 15 hours when I work. I awake around 6:30 AM walk to the kitchen by 7:15 AM and stand until after lunch. I return home and lay down for about two hours, I return at 4:30 PM prepping for the evening. I cook from opening until closing then the clean up and more prep work returning home between 11 PM and midnight. My left arm is healing thank God. That was a nightmare that I never want to relive and pray that it does come full circle. Possibly Beethoven would understand the loss of something that relates to making music. Last July I could not play a full octave with my left hand. The 3rd, 4th and 5th fingers of my left hand were numb until end of March this year......... It has been a slow and dreadful experience, but I can play my piano again. (Back to the leg)
Everyone told me I had sciatica. After weeks of pain and all kinds of advice I went to a sports medicine man in Jackson Hole. After X rays and examinations he said I have scoliosis of the lower spine. I am in therapy three times a week doing the Lordex treatment. They seem to be working. I am still in pain, but as of next week I will have inserts made for my shoes, I walk with an insert under the left heel of my foot that is to help turn the pelvic bones and align my inner frame... Two days ago I discovered a hernia on the right side of my Adonis belt! I go tomorrow for a consultation with a surgeon to see if there is a chance in hell I can avoid surgery? I swear by March 6th of 2009 I should be living in a new body!
Yesterday was a rare day. I actually felt like taking a walk into the forest behind the house of which I have written about time and time again. My sacred Rock with The EYE! I posted a photo of this rock in a blog I wrote soon after I returned from NZ this year. The forest is lovely at this time of year. Yellow aspen and the cedar and pine trees are amazing. Yes, the foliage has died, but I recall years ago a dear friend telling me that there is a certain beauty in a dying garden!
One has to crawl under the barb wire fence to enter the National Forest behind the house. In Wyoming barb wire is like cement is to big cities! I decided to take the lower trail because I have been feeling so weak and wanted to simply breathe in every scent, memorize every scene and listen to the symphony of wild life and the gentle breeze. I was walking along and suddenly stopped. Something was amis. As I looked ahead I caught sight of the destruction... a new road. Piles of crushed flora and fauna, felled trees of which I counted 72. My Rock with the EYE GONE! It had been smashed into a mountain of broken life.
Tears streamed from my eyes. All I could hear was the opening tragic theme of the Brahms first symphony! C minor is a tragic key. I dropped to my knees and pulled out my I Pod setting it to that very symphony. Thank the universe for music because that language was the only thing that could express my emotions. I thought of the poem by Edna St. Vincent Milly,
"Apostrophe to man!" "Detestable race, continue to expunge yourself, die out, Breed faster, Crowd, encroach, sing hymns, build bombing airplanes, HOMO CALLED SAPIENS!"...
I kept walking step by step up the new dirt road. It was a steep grade and the higher I went the more my leg ached. I walked through the damn pain. Midway I discovered a makeshift tree hut I had assembled years ago. O my God they had not knocked it down. I crawled inside and laid on the soft pine needles. I gazed out of the limbs and the view was celestial. Clouds racing like helium balloons across a turquoise sky. The horizon of mountains and the winding mighty Snake River calmed my soul and I felt the urge to shout for joy!
I left the hut and kept walking up the road, then I figured out where it was taking me. To the new water system that is to feed water into three new subdivisions. Alas. I turned and started the steep descent. My knees were holding up. Yes, they ached, but I was happy.
This mountain is blanketed in a quilt of wild flowers every spring and during the more part of the summer. Dried stalks of Iron weed, sand burs and other plants stood erect with hard pods full of seeds hanging from brittle stems that would release their life into the soil before snow fall.
Time will heal all things that I think are wrong with the world and the world will remain an interesting stage and setting where human life will play out drama after drama after drama, lifetime after lifetime. I gaze at the very same moon and stars that inspired Beethoven to write the Moonlight Sonata, Debussy to paint a musical painting, Clair de lune... could it all be an illusion?
I walked in the back door, dropped my pack. Put on the tea kettle and sat beside my cats. With cup and saucer in hand I climbed the stairs to my room and sat at my desk gazing at all the beautiful art work and books and keepsakes I have in this chamber. Then my eyes landed on a piece of sculpture I love, "Walking Wounded"... Again a piece of art saved the day.
Will write more later. For now I am off to dream land...
August 8th I suffered a complete mental and physical melt down. I usually weigh in at 175 pounds and IF I'M WORKING OUT AT THE GYM usually around 185. I went from 180 pounds to 141.05 pounds. Some days I weigh in around 144. Last year I suffered with unrelenting pain on the left side of my body. End of July I began experiencing severe pain in the right side of my lower back which radiated down the into the front of my thigh. I could hardly stand and I stand up to 15 hours when I work. I awake around 6:30 AM walk to the kitchen by 7:15 AM and stand until after lunch. I return home and lay down for about two hours, I return at 4:30 PM prepping for the evening. I cook from opening until closing then the clean up and more prep work returning home between 11 PM and midnight. My left arm is healing thank God. That was a nightmare that I never want to relive and pray that it does come full circle. Possibly Beethoven would understand the loss of something that relates to making music. Last July I could not play a full octave with my left hand. The 3rd, 4th and 5th fingers of my left hand were numb until end of March this year......... It has been a slow and dreadful experience, but I can play my piano again. (Back to the leg)
Everyone told me I had sciatica. After weeks of pain and all kinds of advice I went to a sports medicine man in Jackson Hole. After X rays and examinations he said I have scoliosis of the lower spine. I am in therapy three times a week doing the Lordex treatment. They seem to be working. I am still in pain, but as of next week I will have inserts made for my shoes, I walk with an insert under the left heel of my foot that is to help turn the pelvic bones and align my inner frame... Two days ago I discovered a hernia on the right side of my Adonis belt! I go tomorrow for a consultation with a surgeon to see if there is a chance in hell I can avoid surgery? I swear by March 6th of 2009 I should be living in a new body!
Yesterday was a rare day. I actually felt like taking a walk into the forest behind the house of which I have written about time and time again. My sacred Rock with The EYE! I posted a photo of this rock in a blog I wrote soon after I returned from NZ this year. The forest is lovely at this time of year. Yellow aspen and the cedar and pine trees are amazing. Yes, the foliage has died, but I recall years ago a dear friend telling me that there is a certain beauty in a dying garden!
One has to crawl under the barb wire fence to enter the National Forest behind the house. In Wyoming barb wire is like cement is to big cities! I decided to take the lower trail because I have been feeling so weak and wanted to simply breathe in every scent, memorize every scene and listen to the symphony of wild life and the gentle breeze. I was walking along and suddenly stopped. Something was amis. As I looked ahead I caught sight of the destruction... a new road. Piles of crushed flora and fauna, felled trees of which I counted 72. My Rock with the EYE GONE! It had been smashed into a mountain of broken life.
Tears streamed from my eyes. All I could hear was the opening tragic theme of the Brahms first symphony! C minor is a tragic key. I dropped to my knees and pulled out my I Pod setting it to that very symphony. Thank the universe for music because that language was the only thing that could express my emotions. I thought of the poem by Edna St. Vincent Milly,
"Apostrophe to man!" "Detestable race, continue to expunge yourself, die out, Breed faster, Crowd, encroach, sing hymns, build bombing airplanes, HOMO CALLED SAPIENS!"...
I kept walking step by step up the new dirt road. It was a steep grade and the higher I went the more my leg ached. I walked through the damn pain. Midway I discovered a makeshift tree hut I had assembled years ago. O my God they had not knocked it down. I crawled inside and laid on the soft pine needles. I gazed out of the limbs and the view was celestial. Clouds racing like helium balloons across a turquoise sky. The horizon of mountains and the winding mighty Snake River calmed my soul and I felt the urge to shout for joy!
I left the hut and kept walking up the road, then I figured out where it was taking me. To the new water system that is to feed water into three new subdivisions. Alas. I turned and started the steep descent. My knees were holding up. Yes, they ached, but I was happy.
This mountain is blanketed in a quilt of wild flowers every spring and during the more part of the summer. Dried stalks of Iron weed, sand burs and other plants stood erect with hard pods full of seeds hanging from brittle stems that would release their life into the soil before snow fall.
Time will heal all things that I think are wrong with the world and the world will remain an interesting stage and setting where human life will play out drama after drama after drama, lifetime after lifetime. I gaze at the very same moon and stars that inspired Beethoven to write the Moonlight Sonata, Debussy to paint a musical painting, Clair de lune... could it all be an illusion?
I walked in the back door, dropped my pack. Put on the tea kettle and sat beside my cats. With cup and saucer in hand I climbed the stairs to my room and sat at my desk gazing at all the beautiful art work and books and keepsakes I have in this chamber. Then my eyes landed on a piece of sculpture I love, "Walking Wounded"... Again a piece of art saved the day.
Will write more later. For now I am off to dream land...
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
on hold
Work has been insane! I am doing my own prep work, that means, baking rolls, potatoes, making soup, chopping onions and peppers, garlic and slicing lemons, cantaloupe, it goes on and on, plus the cooking and clean up after... makes for very long hours on one's legs, however, I am doing it and not complaining. It allows me the joy of having enough time and money to do some of the things I still love doing and being a part of during the 8 months I am not living in a kitchen! Today was a slower day, so I must say, I am putting my blog on hold for a few weeks until I have more time to share wonderful things with all of my friends!
I still read my e mails every day and have my cell phone with me at all times. Enjoy the gorgeous hot summer weather!
Blessings, BJ
I still read my e mails every day and have my cell phone with me at all times. Enjoy the gorgeous hot summer weather!
Blessings, BJ
Saturday, June 28, 2008
Sunshine has arrived
Wyoming has been blest with an abundance of sunshine and gorgeous summer weather. It seemed the last couple of weeks would never end, but everything has come right with my parents and most things at work are great.
I once read where IF when things become intolerable in one's life, if you take pen in hand and write down every single thing
you are grateful for one's entire attitude can change. I have filled a journal full of items in the past two weeks... from every
wild flower and wild animal that greets me each morning as I walk to the restaurant, right down to the fact I can breathe!
I have made some amazing transitions in the past 6 months. When I lost all the feeling in my 5th, 4th, and 3rd fingers of my Left Hand last December I did not cry, I was amazed to think such a thing could happen to me. I speak from my heart with my hands!
When I realized my knee was "going south" on me and needed surgery, I was horrified... the list goes on and on, yet, I find I am at a different place in my heart, mind and body! I have regained the feeling in the fingers of my left hand. I can play for up to a half hour every day without pain... mind, you, I am not performing the Grieg Piano Concerto, but falling in love with things I have always adored for years... the piano is till my best friend.
My knee is perfect! I go into the kitchen of my restaurant by 7:30 AM and stand for the most part of every day cooking until 2:00 PM, then relax and return to work for the evening, standing from 5:00 PM until at least 11:00 PM without pain!!!!!! Summer is a wonderful season. I am not complaining about the heat in fact I quite like being warm!
More later, love and light from the Rocky Mountains.
I once read where IF when things become intolerable in one's life, if you take pen in hand and write down every single thing
you are grateful for one's entire attitude can change. I have filled a journal full of items in the past two weeks... from every
wild flower and wild animal that greets me each morning as I walk to the restaurant, right down to the fact I can breathe!
I have made some amazing transitions in the past 6 months. When I lost all the feeling in my 5th, 4th, and 3rd fingers of my Left Hand last December I did not cry, I was amazed to think such a thing could happen to me. I speak from my heart with my hands!
When I realized my knee was "going south" on me and needed surgery, I was horrified... the list goes on and on, yet, I find I am at a different place in my heart, mind and body! I have regained the feeling in the fingers of my left hand. I can play for up to a half hour every day without pain... mind, you, I am not performing the Grieg Piano Concerto, but falling in love with things I have always adored for years... the piano is till my best friend.
My knee is perfect! I go into the kitchen of my restaurant by 7:30 AM and stand for the most part of every day cooking until 2:00 PM, then relax and return to work for the evening, standing from 5:00 PM until at least 11:00 PM without pain!!!!!! Summer is a wonderful season. I am not complaining about the heat in fact I quite like being warm!
More later, love and light from the Rocky Mountains.
Friday, June 13, 2008
What The Hell?
I have not given up on writing my blogs........ There has simply been too many things going on and not enough time to write in detail about everything that has happened since opening the restaurant.
Both of my parents have been in the ICU at hospital together! Long hours in the kitchen and weather is all over the place.
SNOW YESTERDAY LIKE WINTER TIME SNOW! Over cast with heavy clouds and rain for the past week. One day summer may break through all this density.
Will compose a stunning story about everything in a few days... till then I am searching for sunshine.
Both of my parents have been in the ICU at hospital together! Long hours in the kitchen and weather is all over the place.
SNOW YESTERDAY LIKE WINTER TIME SNOW! Over cast with heavy clouds and rain for the past week. One day summer may break through all this density.
Will compose a stunning story about everything in a few days... till then I am searching for sunshine.
Wednesday, May 07, 2008
The Orb!
Sorry, it must be the altitude! After I published the blog I realized I had not posted the photo with the blue orb.
Spring time in the rockies...
When I was a very little boy I heard my grandparents sing many songs and one song was a waltz that I have forever loved:
"When It's Springtime In The Rockies". I live in the heart of the Rocky Mountains. Winters are harsh, but the birthing of Spring is a spiritual event that one must see, touch, and breathe to be appreciated.
I walk into the forest behind the house every morning and meditate. Yesterday was an amazingly hot day for April 6th! 68 degrees and many new, shimmering small streams were being created by snow banks melting in the hot sunshine. I had my camera in my backpack and had to share some photos.
One is of a rock that I often sit upon and meditate as I listen to all the birds singing and small creatures of the woods scurrying around as they set up their summer homes! Deer and Elk often sleep among the cedar and pine trees. The weight of the heavy snow had caused many pine tree branches to snap and fall along the pathway. Cedar and Sagebrush as well as Oregon Grape are everywhere and under the dense grass tiny wild flowers are just beginning to bloom!
The white rock has an opening in it that resembles an eye. There is a hole in the top and the side that creates a tunnel and when rain water or ice settles inside the bottom of the tunnel sunshine causes a brilliant sparkling effect to glint from the eye shaped entrance into the rock. Thus I call it ROCK EYE or EYE ROCK!
The mountain view from the rock is similar to the mountain in the movie, " Brokeback Mountain". Therefore I call it my Brokeback Mountain.
In the one photo you may see a very small "ORB" in the center of the mountain. It is a blue orb.
Working hard and loving the Alpine air, altitude and wide open skies!
Saturday, April 26, 2008
I'm comin' home...
In the 70's John Denver sang a song with such lyrics... Something to do with "tie a yellow ribbon 'round the old oak tree..."
Played that song 1,000 times in Viet Nam. 1968 - 1973. I toured the Pacific Islands, Korea, (3 times) Germany, and Europe, (3 Times) Iceland, Japan, the Mediterranean, Alaska, it goes on and on... but one thing I always knew, I would be coming home! (even without yellow ribbons!)
I love New Zealand. A part of my heart honestly belongs here, because of my DNA. My Great Grandfather served a Mormon Mission here in and around 1896 - 1900... I also, have a a very common surname, Johnston which is Scottish and is a very common name in NZ. I cannot find a more perfect place for a holiday than NZ.
NOW after 5 months I am ready to return to my Brokeback Mountain and make some money... I honestly do love Wyoming. I always have. In the 70's I drank enough vodka in Evanston and Rock Springs WY to sink a major battle ship. I used to say: "When I grow up, I will move to WY and marry a Cowboy"... Well I did not get the cowboy, but I did get WY.
No place on earth has such views of the western skies and the Tetons are breath taking. My body, soul and mind know where I belong and it is in Alpine, WY. I will fly out of Auckland NZ Monday afternoon. 11 - 12 hours in the air and I will land in LAX. Then walk to Domestic Flights Delta and fly to SLC, UT. From there I will drive to Alpine, WY.
Last year I created a recording I have tried to manifest the past 11 years... I DID IT! This year, I had a knee replacement, which I never in my wildest imagination thought possible.
I read more books than I have read in years and I did not take a hike on the wild side. I did achieve some very sacred and spiritual events. I had a 4 1/2 hour life regression session! I discovered new ways to make my body well... I discovered so many mental and physical truths on a level that is difficult for me to write about. I reached for the sky and I touched it with my own two hands.
I will write one more blog before leaving my studio in Queenstown. I also had one of many blessings... after 13 years My Diviana and Zen Man came to see me in QT. UN-FUNKING-BE-LIEV-ABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Could write a book about it. Four of my favorite Goddess's saved my life! Divi, Debbie, Belva, and Shirley. If I ever get the four of them together God only knows what could happen to life as we know it.
I am off to bed. Big day tomorrow. Tie and yellow ribbon 'round the old oak tree 'cause I'll be seeing you!
Played that song 1,000 times in Viet Nam. 1968 - 1973. I toured the Pacific Islands, Korea, (3 times) Germany, and Europe, (3 Times) Iceland, Japan, the Mediterranean, Alaska, it goes on and on... but one thing I always knew, I would be coming home! (even without yellow ribbons!)
I love New Zealand. A part of my heart honestly belongs here, because of my DNA. My Great Grandfather served a Mormon Mission here in and around 1896 - 1900... I also, have a a very common surname, Johnston which is Scottish and is a very common name in NZ. I cannot find a more perfect place for a holiday than NZ.
NOW after 5 months I am ready to return to my Brokeback Mountain and make some money... I honestly do love Wyoming. I always have. In the 70's I drank enough vodka in Evanston and Rock Springs WY to sink a major battle ship. I used to say: "When I grow up, I will move to WY and marry a Cowboy"... Well I did not get the cowboy, but I did get WY.
No place on earth has such views of the western skies and the Tetons are breath taking. My body, soul and mind know where I belong and it is in Alpine, WY. I will fly out of Auckland NZ Monday afternoon. 11 - 12 hours in the air and I will land in LAX. Then walk to Domestic Flights Delta and fly to SLC, UT. From there I will drive to Alpine, WY.
Last year I created a recording I have tried to manifest the past 11 years... I DID IT! This year, I had a knee replacement, which I never in my wildest imagination thought possible.
I read more books than I have read in years and I did not take a hike on the wild side. I did achieve some very sacred and spiritual events. I had a 4 1/2 hour life regression session! I discovered new ways to make my body well... I discovered so many mental and physical truths on a level that is difficult for me to write about. I reached for the sky and I touched it with my own two hands.
I will write one more blog before leaving my studio in Queenstown. I also had one of many blessings... after 13 years My Diviana and Zen Man came to see me in QT. UN-FUNKING-BE-LIEV-ABLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Could write a book about it. Four of my favorite Goddess's saved my life! Divi, Debbie, Belva, and Shirley. If I ever get the four of them together God only knows what could happen to life as we know it.
I am off to bed. Big day tomorrow. Tie and yellow ribbon 'round the old oak tree 'cause I'll be seeing you!
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Moon River...
The moon! That tiny satellite that keeps the planet's tides flowing... it's magnetic pull helps keep the space ship we live on in a balanced state of spinning faster than the eye can see.
We all appear slightly different in various shades of light. Candle light, sun light, stage lighting, infra red light, and yes moon light, even starlight!
Hundreds of years ago certain rituals and ceremonies were performed during the light of the full moon. One event was that of the American Native Indians, who planted crops during the full moon and the seeds were planted by woman that were in full cycle of their periods... they also planted crops by placing bits of fish guts and small fish in the ground to serve as fertilizer and nourishment to the seed. We are at least 90% water, fish are created and live in water... eggs, which are really seeds that live within a saline solution of blood deep within a woman's body...
Tonight the moon it 90% FULL. That means it is kind of like my body being 90% of water... Last night I awoke after having been sound asleep for two hours. I got out of the bed, put on my bath robe and walked up the stairs that lead into the kitchen. We have a window at the top of the stair well that looks directly into the sky! The moon was shimmering as if it were vibrating!
I unlocked the kitchen door and stepped out onto the patio. Every blade of grass was being kissed by moonlight!
Without warning the words to a song I playing in High School began singing within my skull... Moon River! It was the theme song for my Jr. Prom when I was in High School. I did not have a date or want one at the time, but I did attend the prom as I was to perform this very piece at intermission.
Moon river, wider than a mile
I'm crossing you in style some day
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker
Where ever you're go-in' , I'm going your way
Two drifters, off to see the world
There's such a lot of world to see
We're after the same rainbow's end, wait-in' 'round the bend
My huckleberry friend, moon river, and me...
I've watched moon light on rivers all over the world and on oceans, lakes and I always love the way moonlight dances on rows of water running through corn fields when I would irrigate late night into the early morning hours... (were talking years ago!)
Moon River the rainbow has been wait-in' 'round the bend more times than naught in my lifetime. Thank you.
We all appear slightly different in various shades of light. Candle light, sun light, stage lighting, infra red light, and yes moon light, even starlight!
Hundreds of years ago certain rituals and ceremonies were performed during the light of the full moon. One event was that of the American Native Indians, who planted crops during the full moon and the seeds were planted by woman that were in full cycle of their periods... they also planted crops by placing bits of fish guts and small fish in the ground to serve as fertilizer and nourishment to the seed. We are at least 90% water, fish are created and live in water... eggs, which are really seeds that live within a saline solution of blood deep within a woman's body...
Tonight the moon it 90% FULL. That means it is kind of like my body being 90% of water... Last night I awoke after having been sound asleep for two hours. I got out of the bed, put on my bath robe and walked up the stairs that lead into the kitchen. We have a window at the top of the stair well that looks directly into the sky! The moon was shimmering as if it were vibrating!
I unlocked the kitchen door and stepped out onto the patio. Every blade of grass was being kissed by moonlight!
Without warning the words to a song I playing in High School began singing within my skull... Moon River! It was the theme song for my Jr. Prom when I was in High School. I did not have a date or want one at the time, but I did attend the prom as I was to perform this very piece at intermission.
Moon river, wider than a mile
I'm crossing you in style some day
Oh, dream maker, you heart breaker
Where ever you're go-in' , I'm going your way
Two drifters, off to see the world
There's such a lot of world to see
We're after the same rainbow's end, wait-in' 'round the bend
My huckleberry friend, moon river, and me...
I've watched moon light on rivers all over the world and on oceans, lakes and I always love the way moonlight dances on rows of water running through corn fields when I would irrigate late night into the early morning hours... (were talking years ago!)
Moon River the rainbow has been wait-in' 'round the bend more times than naught in my lifetime. Thank you.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
April 2008 NZSO CONCERT
The New Zealand Symphony Orchestra resides within a very sacred part of my musical heart, mind and spirit. Last night was no exception! A new conductor! I was looking forward to the conductor from last year however, this young man is from Finland, and more than proved his worth as a conductor. Name, Pietari Inkinen. His hair is beautiful and his body and face are very easy on the eyes!
The symphony made use of every acoustical niche and cranny within the walls of the great Town Hall in the city of Dunedin.
Starting with Douglas Liburn's Aotearoa Overture. Simply used every instrument within the world of symphony! Gorgeous. This piece was composed in 1940 while Liburn was a student in London. It's first performance was in 1940. The NZSO's file records that Aotearoa was first performed by the NZSO under G. Warrack in 1953.
The guest artist for last night's concert was a Cellist, Natalie Clein. One of Britain's leading cellists. This young woman took the Elgar Cello Concerto in E minor Op. 85 to an entire different level. I have heard Julian Lloyd webber perform this piece with such elegance and heart wrenching agony, however, Natalie approached the piece with a delicate and very feminine energy. I cried!
Intermission was a much needed break.
The Crowning Jewel of the evening was the Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky's Symphony No. 5 in E minor Op. 64. ONE OF MY FAVORITE SYMPHONIES. At intermission everyone was handed a roll of confetti and ribbons to toss from the balcony seats into the orchestra and on the patrons below. The passion and fervour and orchestral colours of this symphony were beyond brilliant. The opening clarinet theme is a haunting memory. I learned the melody to the second movement when I was about 8 years old which was arranged for a very simple piano piece, from that time forth I have always loved it.
In notes found shortly after Tchaikovsky's death, he referred to the brief programme he had roughed out for the 5Th Symphony: "Introduction. Complete resignation before FATE, or, which is SAME, before the INSCRUTABLE predestination of PROVIDENCE. Allegro, Murmurs, doubts, plaints, reproaches against xxx Shall I throw myself in the embraces of faith???"
The entire hall was on it's feet and pounding the floor boards at the conclusion of this magnificent piece of art. (FULL HOUSE BTW!)
The NZSO was founded the year of my birth, 1946. On August 21, 1946 with Andersen Tyrer conducting they performed this very symphony! I have copies of very old photographs that were taken in the early 50's of Percy Grainger with the NZSO!
To say the least it was a night of magical vibrations and deep emotions. I am a blessed man beyond my wildest dreams! Music has no time frames. It is the past, present and future and most of all it is what we are. It is the universe. The invisible made visible and felt in every atom of the emotional fabric.
Keep the good vibes flowing.
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