He does not use a litter box. Kitty litter damn near kills me as well as pet dander. Sebastian goes outdoors to use the potty. He is a most unusual cat because he does not meeeee oooowww and squeak like most cats. He has a very strong baritone voice and makes all kinds of garbled sounds like foreign words. This house has two levels. He never steps down to the rooms on the ground level. Of late he has been walking down the stairs and at night sleeping on the bed with us. He needed to be near humans that loved him...
We knew he was ill when we offered to care for him. He radiated a certain energy that I could not reject. HE NEEDED US!
(one the most influential people in my life told my that the worst thing in life is to NOT TO BE NEEDED!) I believe her with all my heart.
Well, dear old Sebastian needed us. We needed Sebastian. He loved affection as well as his privacy.
(kinda reminds me of myself?)
Yesterday morning I washed his food and water bowls. He was growling at the back door wanting OUT SIDE, telling me he had to REALLY PEE.
Fine, he hit the green grass and I noticed the strawberry patch was glowing with buckets of ripe red berries! I told Sebastian to soak in the morning light and I began harvesting the gorgeous berries.
When I glanced over my shoulder to where the cat was, VACANCY! GONE! THAT DAMN CAT HAD EVAPORATED OFF THE EARTH! I literally nearly dropped the bucket of berries!
Our dear neighbor Clare was walking her dog Minn's on the upper bench. I told her what had occurred. She went searching in one direction I went another all the time whispering Sebastian where are? Come out, come out, where ever in hell you are... or else I will kill you!"
People that follow my blog have read the story about Michael's mother Anne disappearing one morning while I was taking a shower! That was NOT a good day!
Our neighbor Ann called Clare and told her Sebastian was not able to walk and was on her property.
Clare rescued the cat. She delivered him to his home with us and he gobbled a cup of wet cat food and a bowl of water! Michael found the comfy blanket Dennis and Gail had purchased him in November. We made a warm nest for him in the lounge. He cuddled into a blissful sleep.
Last night I rubbed his head, shoulders and bony spine until I retired round 11:PM Michael stayed up reading and sitting with Sebastian.
This morning was a "replay" of two years ago... I wake up, walk to the upper level of the house into the kitchen. Push the "ON" button of the coffee maker. Notice a note written in Clinger's hand.
"Good morning,
Sebastian died at 12:15 AM. His journey is over at last. We will bury him after breakfast... love, Michael."
WTF????? I raced to the lounge, nothing of the cat remains. I walk outside, nothing... I decide to sit quietly and wait for the details. Michael comes upstairs tells me:
Sebastian was resting then raised his head and coughed as if to release a fur ball. He then laid his head down and stopped breathing. I then did something I did when mother passed away: I opened all the windows. I gathered Sebastian up in my arms with his blanket. Took him to the garage and cut the blanket to fit his body. Pinned it with safety pins so it would not fall to pieces. I will dig a grave beside the apricot tree amid the Columbine and we will bury him. He will protect the property and all that dwell here.
The night Anne died Michael's mother, I closed the restaurant, walked home. Always went to her bedside and checked on her. I always spent time rubbing her hands and arms. They were so small and delicate. She would smile and lay back at peace. When she was finally soundly asleep I would get ready for bed. Oct. 23rd I did this very thing and the next morning I walked into the bathroom in order to prepare for work at 6:30 - 7 AM. There was a note from Clinger laying on the counter:
"Mother died at 12:15 this morning. This long, long journey is over. Love Michael." I literally ran into her room. She was laid out on the bed like a queen. PERFECT HAIR, MAKE UP, DRESSED IN VELVET PLUM COLORED CLOTHING...
Michael told me that when he found his mother had died the first thing he did was open all the windows in her room. He did the same thing when Sebastian died! He washed and dressed her and did the same for Sebastian.
Today we buried this dear FUR PERSON near the apricot tree. We covered his body with rose petals and rose blossoms. Laid the new Xmas toys he was given on top of his corpse. I have been to near death the past year. I am learning a very intense and serious lesson: DEATH IS A BLESSED PART OF LIVING AND THE TWO ARE INSEPARABLE. I have had to accept some very ugly truths in my life and I have not denied their reality. I accept everything life presents me with except for ONE TRUTH stupidity.
Sebastian had a life he lived according to HIS DICTATES. I know far too many people who's lives are guided by the media, politics, religion, guru's, and DOGMA! They live in FEAR and HATE of every possible thing!
The most amazing journey you can ever take is being ALL ALONE and WITH NOTHING BUT YOURSELF as a GUIDE. One either goes insane or learns who and what they are as compared to what OTHERS think and WANT to MAKE them INTO BEING! No one person is born with hate or bigotry. THEY LEARN IT! Most humans can and will not live the truth. Truth involves only YOU!
Pets on the other hand unless they are so abused beyond imagination, they follow their hearts. They know, sense, and react to emotions and vibrations. Dogs love Beethoven. Cats love New Age type music. I had a cat that would simply become another cat if I played piano... my own improvisations! Wheee Enough. Could write a book about music, light and animals!
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