The Knee replacement

I did not come to New Zealand this year flirting with any thoughts about having my left knee replaced! If anything, I was determined to do more walking, read more books and with physical therapy I would cure the problem.

I am a devout believer that we all have guardian angels that direct us down paths we consciously would never dream of setting foot upon, be it energy from people we have loved that have crossed over to other dimensions or some force from the universe that we are invisibly connected to in such a way that it guides and speaks to us in ways we are not always aware of.

I had the consultation with the surgeon/specialist about three weeks ago. He could only perform the knee replacement on March 20th. This was a concern because of my flight back to the states being on April 28th. That was under the allotted time frame of a 6 week space before one should fly on a jet airplane for up to 12 hours non stop!

I received a call from Mercy Hospital saying they could slot me in for surgery on March 6th! Not a problem except that I had a very bad bladder infection! Not much time to clear the mess up. I drank gallons of cranberry juice, took antibiotics and barely passed the test!

I have never had a major operation. I was scared shit-less. I have a circle of amazing friends that I am in contact with at least two or three times a week via the Internet. They are all women that are blest with the power of healing. One friend sent me a long over due letter that chastised my negative thinking and lack of love for my self! Another said do not do this until I had taken certain steps in diet, and herbal supplements, another said do it and move on... they all were concerned and only had love and concern for my situation. I nearly pulled out the last minute! Fear of literally not being able to walk if a mistake was made or not coming out of the anesthesia.

Entered the hospital at 11:30 AM Thursday March 6th. Said goodbye to Michael and walked into the room for pre operation procedures. I had met my Anesthesiologist the night before. After taking my clothes off and donning the hospital gown, I laid on the gurney that I figured would become the alter for my blood sacrifice! The nurse gave me a pill. I looked around and joked with the various nurses, then the shot in the arm... I awoke around 5:30 PM hearing my name being gently spoken and seeing my Anesthetist at the foot of the bed. He smiled and said "It went perfect!" Suddenly the platform was spun around and It felt like I was on a jet boat flying through doors, into an elevator and into a room where my extended family had been waiting for hours.

I had a spinal along with the anesthesia. My body was numb, dead from the waist down. Could not move my feet. My left leg was wound in gauze and an ice machine was keeping it cold because of swelling. I had oxygen tubes in my nose, a drip in the top of my left hand and a catheter in my penis. I was itching like hell. I am sure I slurred every word that came out of my mouth... but I was not in pain. However, I could not sleep. Two amazing nurses came in to take my blood pressure, oxygen levels and would roll me onto my side and massage my back and feet. I did not have a pump for pain. I did not want all the drugs, so we went with panidol and Oxycontin... for the first two days and nights. I sat in bed the next morning and brushed my teeth, a nurse bathed me and once again massaged my feet and back. I was able to flex my ankles. GOOD SIGN.

Second night they gave me a tablet to help me fall asleep. It did help. The pain started around 4 AM. I mean unexplainable pain.
I got through it but by the third day I thought I had possibly done the worst if not the absolute most horrible thing I could have done to my body. I could not get comfortable. I could not stand the pain. I kept doing the various exercises they had me do while laying in bed. My mind kept going in and out of places I have been and places I have never been... People that I have not seen or thought of in years flashed in and out of my visual cortex! The nurses were unbelievable. They came in every half hour. My surgeon and Anesthesiologist visited me every morning and night!

The nurse that removed my catheter was truly an angel. I will never be able to put into words what it felt like. The balloon released from the bladder, but the whole thing became stuck at the head of my joy stick!!! She could not get it out! I was a good boy. I breathed as deep as possible and tears flew out of my eyes. Blood had dried around the opening of the urethra. This amazing nurse told me to "pedal like mad with my left foot and make a fist" I did and out it came! Blood and urine also came rushing out. Next the drips were taken out, but the needle in my hand had to remain in case I needed a blood transfusion or morphine drip... Finally the nurse removed the ice machine... then the cutting away of the bandages.

Layers of beige gauze, then a white fluffy fabric was around the knee. She removed that and there was my wound. A plastic bandage over the incision. Knee was not badly swollen. She helped me up and into the shower! I was exhausted.
I would lay and read, then concentrate on sending all the healing medicines and vibrations possible into that knee. I had created a play list on my I pod titled, "Brent's healing music". Clair de lune, Reverie, Meditation from Thais the list goes on and some Jon Serrie creations that I believe with all my heart helped heal me as much as the medication.

Everyone kept raving on about how well things were coming. I was up and walking the halls and stairs the fourth day. I finally asked to only walk with the one crutch. then I tried no crutches... I was of course weak and became extremely tired after a walk. I'd lay down and rest, then get up again and do the walk about the hall way. By the fifth night I was ready to come home.

It was a long ride in the car back to Queenstown. Four hours. I sat in the passenger seat, then laid in the back seat but I did it. I walked up the flight of stairs onto the landing where my studio and the ground level of the house is situated. Greeted with much love and joy! Everyday has been a STEP toward more walking and I have a straight leg! If all goes well I can fly home without worries of blood clots and I am only taking Panidol for pain. I am going to rid my body of as many prescription drugs of which I have taken for years...

The hospital I was in is a Private Hospital. The care was like nothing I have ever witnessed in the USA! The staff were indescribable. Part of the reason for such an amazing recovery: I had good muscles and tendons in my legs. The years of walking, hiking and working out in the gym honestly PAID OFF in ways I never dreamed possible!!!

I have not used my crutches since I have been home. I cancelled the raised toilet seat thing, the grabber tool, all the physical things I was told to use IF I needed them! I walk. NOT on inclines and down slopes, but on flat surfaces and can now walk quite well up the stairs without putting both feet on one step at a time. "the GOOD FOOT FIRST when going up stairs and the BAD FOOT first when going down stairs". I am eating and cooking our dinners. I spend a lot of time resting and loving the views. Yesterday I sat in the Autumn sun light for 15 minutes stark naked! Soaking in the healing rays of the sun and the beautiful clean air. New Zealand was the place I was to have this operation performed.

I believe in the power of numbers! The number 8 is a very important number in my life. The year 2008 is the year for much healing and putting many things of my past aside and stepping into a new light!

I will be chasing rainbows very very soon and most of all I'll be seeing you!

Man & a Blue Piano...

My most talented sister, Teresa painted this for me! I love Marc Chagall's work. She recreated a sense of his "style" in this piece of art.

In the package was a letter she had written with a photo of Chagall she had copied from the Internet, showing him working in his New York Studio, 1942.

"Color is ALL. When color is right, form is right. Color is everything, color is vibration like music; everything is vibration."
...Marc Chagall...

"Only love interests me, and I'm only in contact with things I love!" ...Marc Chagall...

Waking up to something you love!

Yesterday was a magical day. I met my surgeon for the knee replacement. He is the chosen one my higher self wants to perform the operation.

When he came into the lobby of the hospital to take me into his office for consultation he casually asked, "So how is Rachmaninoff?" I was thrown completely off the tracks! I said, "I'm sorry but I don't understand?" He said, "You are a pianist?" I laughed, then said, "yes, I have sometimes "imagined" I was..." This man does his research! I have performed in New Zealand from the Great Hall in Christchurch to Queenstown New Zealand where I performed my last concert! From that moment I knew I was in the hands of an angelic surgeon and I hope to take a photo of his hands! They are beautiful! This dream Only Gets Better!

He said the earliest he could perform the surgery would be March 20th... Well, a person is not supposed to fly for approximately 12 hours for at least 6 weeks after surgery. Fear of blood clots, especially in people over 55 years of age! YUCK! I fly out of New Zealand every year on April 28th.

The hospital called today and I will have the surgery on March 6th! in a private hospital, in Dunedin. Mercy Hospital (a hell of a lot is going on, on another level of quantum thinking here... I understand it, but am not going to explain it at this time...) What a blessing!

When I returned home from Dunedin last night there was a long tube containing a print I had ordered in December of 2007. The package was leaning against the door of my studio!

I wanted this print to hang in the bedroom so that every morning when I woke up I would gaze on someplace that I absolutely love... Monet's painting: "Sunset over Venice". Almost three months later here it is via Snail Mail! I immediately pinned it up. I love Italy, because Bartholomew Christophrie invented the piano! Michael Angelo, Italy is a very important part of our history...

This morning I awoke to this print straight ahead of me... Gazing back at me from the wall !!!!!!!!! I cried.

Tonight is a full moon... Exciting times... Good times... I'll be seeing you soon...

Sweet blessings...

Today my sister sent me a copy of a painting she has created for me.
(I did not have the slightest idea she was creating a painting for me!) The painting is called "Man and a Blue Piano"

... Amazingly enough, this relates to many things. I will post a picture of the painting later, but it has a full moon, mountains, a blue grand piano and a man with blonde hair sitting on a red chair playing a piano. A bouquet of flowers... Steinway and Sons created a BLUE GRAND STEINWAY PIANO in memory of Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue or his Birthday or something he did??What a sweet blessing on my heart, body and mind! Also a special friend of mine published a book she wrote called, THE BLUE PIANO AND OTHER STORIES...

Yesterday my NZ neighbor, who is a fantastic talent here in NZ as well as internationally, such a artist, brings over a HUGE TROUT. Fresh, he had caught it, cleaned it and gave it to us. I am the only one in the family that eats fish! I baked it in some olive oil, herbs and white wine... Well, it is simply gorgeous. I am eating it as I type this blog. It is so moist and such an exciting taste. Fresh, NOT FROZEN, FRESH TROUT when steamed or poached can almost taste like sex! Sorry for that information, but true. (Kind of like mushrooms for some people reminds them of ___!

Went into a strange museum in Clyde today. Old photos, old copies of music under glass, wedding dresses and type writers from the 1800's!!! Such amazing things that signaled a chemical in my brain and that chemical sent a signal to my emotions that sang a song about how I have been here before! I understand all this... I could not leave the old photos of the rugby teams... I kept seeing a face I KNOW! God it was like the movie "Somewhere In Time"...

I also received a wonderful long letter written in very tiny hand printed script from a soul mate and friend. She had made the card on pink paper with a picture of a dining room filled with flowers and table settings on a pink table cloth... She wrote about a walk we had taken out to Farewell Spit a few years back... I have a scrap book of the entire hike through the Golden Bay! She is one of my soul sisters and such a pure hearted woman. She takes the scent of every rose and breathes it into her very blood. She sees a sunset and it becomes her. She is a Goddess...

The Universe gave me a wonderful book to read at the moment. A novel by Kate Mosse, SEPULCHER. Full of stuff I love and most of all DEBBUSY!!! Life is not so bad after all. All I ever need to do is: Relax and breathe in the moment and I am forever amazed at the blessings I have.

The moon should be about 75% full tonight. At about midnight I may have to pour a half glass of Pinot and fill the rest of the glass with moonlight! Starlight is so magical when it enters a cup of moonlight and ruby Pinot Noir...

I'll Be Seeing You...

Open door with a sunset.

This afternoon round 6:30 PM was absolutely gorgeous. I had just cut lavender and roses for my studio and the door was wide open for anyone to enter... Such a beautiful sky. The beginning of a new moon...
A cup of moonlight would be divine...

decision

I had to share a photo I just took of my fresh Lavender. It grows like magic bean stocks in the garden. It is a wonderful cleansing agent and antibiotic. I cut fresh Lavender every other day and fill my space with it's tall and powerful arms.

Did not sleep last night. Tossed, turned, sat up, got up, went back to bed... finally felt like I was trying to catch a fish in the net of the wind... Somewhere between starlight and first light of morning I finally fell into a fitful slumber. I awoke at 7:30 AM. Made myself a potato and onion omlette with feta cheese and rye bread washed down with strong coffee.

I drove out to Anna's for my 10:00 AM reflexology appointment. I love my sessions with Anna.

About half way through my hour of relaxation and massage, I suddenly had a "flash decision"...

This week I will set the appointment for X-rays on my trashed elbow and dilapidated knee joint. I take these X-rays to the surgeon that worked on a dear friend of mine here in Arrowtown. He will then decide IF it is Arthritis or can be operated on.
I am sick and tired of being mean and hateful because I am in pain and discomfort most of time. I am angry because I hurt and cannot seem to heal myself. Well, DAAAHHHH it is front of my brain at around 10:30 AM... Simply get the damn thing fixed.

We are driving to Invercargill in the morning for a day and a night. Invercargill is where I recorded my OPEN HEART recording.
I love the place. The southern most city on planet earth... SO I AM TOLD.

Tonight I will sleep. I have made up my mind to get this thing repaired and put it behind me. Such a beautiful conclusion. BUT, it was one only myself could make for myself. I kept hoping I could hold off until I turned 65 and could use some that tax money I have dumped into Medicare over the past years... I would rather have it operated on down here than in the states.

I'll Be Seeing you... in all the old familiar places, that this heart of mine embraces all day through... in that small cafe, the park across the way, the children's carosel, the chestnut tree the wishing well....

I love that song. Only thing was I hated the way Liberace sang it! Sorry~ John Geary sings it like an angel.

A new flower...

I arrived home from a full day in the village to find a beautiful flower on my door step. A friend purchased a new splash of color for the entrance to my studio and the house! Like a smile from the universe! Color, (an incredible vibration of a celestial order) and living green leaves (mother earth's real colors, also the heart chakra.) Light... the speed of many things...

I had to take a photograph of the living blossom to share with all my friends that are frozen in the north lands!

Today was a much better day! Did the gym thing. Had a wonderful lunch at the Casino. A pasta made with fresh mushrooms and pastrami with herbs. I can make this but it seems to taste so divine when a young man from New Caladonia, (French) makes it and buys you a glass of wine! My ego flew all over the place! (Karmic justice: I was nice to older people when I was very very very young! Pay back time!!!)

Took my Swiss Army wrist watch in for a new battery. I purchased this watch years ago at the Jackson Lake Lodge in the Tetons. Well, the lady at this particular jewlery store I took it to said it had to be checked for it's water proofing and she felt it was a tresure of a watch as they do not make these anymore!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH GOD! NO! I told her the watch was like me! They don't make "ME" anymore... that is not true. So next Friday I will have my watch back.

Made a crappy dinner of bread, dips and cold cuts with fresh veggies... Just could not get into the cook thing tonight! Probably the pasta. I was FULL to the BRIM with delicious food that I love! (and the Chef from Casino was not here! Haaaa!)

Tomorrow is Sunday. That transelates into a trip into the wine country. Lunch at some wonderful winery and a stop for coffee later, or at least a stop at the BP for petro and the Sunday papers.

Enjoy the flowers. I am!

A much happier man!

Interesting sky this evening. I am forever amazed at what the camera picks up as compared to my vision. Today was a wonderful day. Gym. Hard work out... Lunch at "Halo" a cafe I adore and then grocery shopping at the Organic Grocery Store. What more could I ask for! (I know money and perfect what ever!!!)

Angels surround us and forever watch over us!
Talk tomorrow.

Angry for being ANGRY!

Is there such a thing as being angry at yourself for being angry???

I know some of the underlying reasons for why I lashed out, opened my mouth and let it explode with a poison that is rattlesnake death when I sting with words they are like bullets from a nuclear weapon.

All of my life I have enjoyed amazing health and I have taken steps to insure that I would not have to suffer many of the problems most people engage after the age of 55. My body refuses to heal the way it used to! I do not need to go into details but I have had one hell of a time making friends with Mr. Arthur Ritis... The arthritis is not helping the healing process with my elbow. I will have it and my knee examined before I leave NZ.

I have had a most interesting 6 months of INVENTING and IMAGINING NEW WAYS OF SURVIVING IN AN OLD SPACE SUIT! I have given up many thing that were a major part of my everyday life from exercise to playing piano. Meaning: I still go to the gym but I have invented a totally new routine... I still play piano, but in a different manner. I walk slower but with more meaning. I still pray but with less begging! I like to think that my God is bigger than two books called the Old & the New Testaments! I have learned that ORGANIZED RELIGION is for those that do not want to go to hell. SPIRITUALITY is for those who have been to hell and don't want to ever go back!

I made a list of my LIKES and my DIS-LIKES.

LIKES:

Sunsets, moonlight, most music except RAP. Pianos, Very aged cheese. Fine wines. Fresh home made breads, Movies, Gyms. If it has weight I'll lift it! Muscles that are developed from dedication and hard work. Like: Dancer's bodies, swimmers, shoulders, vintage body builders.
I love cats and most pets. Quartz crystals, very good organic coffee, the scent of earth, rain water and herb gardens in the moonlight.
Very old used book stores. ANYTHING APPLE, Macintosh. Massages, Yellow roses and sweet peas. Pansies and tulips. Kindness and forgiveness. Metaphysics, candle light, travel, the three musical "B's" and Debussy.
Keith Olbermann and Albert Einstein. Oh! I like the natural odor or the human body. NICE odor not the rotten smells of filth or smells that are artificial. I do like organic, natural foods.

DIS-LIKES:

Bigoted, small minds. DOGMAS. Junk mail, CONFRONTATIONS with dick heads.
Almost all perfumes. Tattoos, Loud noise, Men that shave their body hair? WHY?
Ann Coulter. Bullies, GW Bush, Dick Cheney,
Television, people that abuse: ANY KIND OF ANIMAL! their partners and abuse innocent children.
I hate Authority figures.
Hand and bath soap that are shaped into balls?
Insane consumerism and being used as cannon fodder for my country or a religion!

This blog site is fastly becoming my therapist for all things~

The sun has set on my depression...

I am feeling somewhat better about my "killer mouth"...

I am my own worst enemy and thought that I had slaughtered that demon years ago. Well, guess what the bastard shoved his hairy head right up my ass and out of my mouth and I have suffered.

I will ONLY and I HOPE WITH ALL MY HEART

ONLY TALK ABOUT MY INNER FEELINGS ON THIS BLOG SITE!

Safer and it keeps life moving at an "andante to poco allegro" vibration. I have had my brain smashed up against a very serious lesson in A Course In Miracles... "You are never angry for the reasons you think!" I am still trying to figure it all out.

This sunset was my kiss from the universe this evening. I'll be seeing you soon...

The most honest words I will ever write...

Last night I had a screaming argument with the last person on earth I would ever want to argue with... My partner. We were having a dinner party and he starts in about the "blacks" one more time... explaining how the Irish were the white trash of the world and they came to America and made something of their lives where as the Blacks never quite got beyond... blah blah blah... I nearly died. I explained or tried to explain that IRISH even JEWS were WHITE! Blacks have been cursed since the beginning of the Hebrew Old Testament. Cain & Able!!!!!!!!!!!!! It got worse. It became so ugly there were tears shed... NOT MINE! I have known and loved some amazing BLACK HUMAN BEINGS! My partner has never even carried on a conversation with one.......... but OMFG he sounded like a Red Republican Bigoted Idiot!

Finally today I opened my journal and began writing...

about who and what I am: I AM NOT A NICE GUY! I am not a SMART or any kind of INTELLECTUAL MAN! I have NO education. I slipped through High School with a D+ average. I am far from handsome... I do not have an 8 or 10 inch penis. (well? depends on...) I cannot memorize things or speak or pronounce words correctly. I am a total failure with money. I'd have NOTHING money-wise if it were not for other people's kindness and efforts. I honestly am too stupid to know how to invest, save or make money out of money! I live off other people's efforts. I am ZERO!

I am a LIE! I am what makes this world the hell hole it is! Sometimes I believe I am the energy that makes life evil the only sad thing is: I HAVE NEVER ADMITTED TO THE FACT I AM A FARCE!

I play my music, I read my poetry, I try to cure myself from all kinds of ailments with drugs and natural supplements. I read philosophy, drink water out of blue glass bottles with quartz crystals in the bottles! I light candles at night, I burn incense, I smile at people and pretend I have made them happy?

I have pulled one hell of a lot of things off because: I learned at a very young age to surround myself with people that were talented, intelligent and had class. I have made myself to look acceptable in the eyes of some people because of the people I associate with. Well, some of those people will NEVER be IMPORTANT in my life again...

The ceiling and walls of my phony Sacred Cathedral crumbled into dust today! GONE! The old man does not care anymore!
The old man is sick and tired of being propped up by other people. The old man wants his void... his zero point of existence.

It is raining as I write. The rain is full of ghosts tonight that tap and sigh against the glass and listen for reply...

Hold on 'cause it's gonna be a bumpy ride... Things are heating up in my brains and when that happens it means drastic changes... Don't panic those of you that think you know me, I am NOT running away or into an abyss of destruction and eternal hell, I am simply stating facts. I have lived a huge lie for 61 years! I see a tiny light somewhere that will claim me.

I'll be seeing you...

camera delima!

l have taken some amazing photos in the past 4 weeks, but I lost my Kodak easy share program in the computer and I am a lazy shit that will not take the time...(I will eventually) and restore the program... So I have all these photos that are breathtakingly gorgeous but you can't see them because I have to get into a very time consuming effort and re-install the old program...

Today was one of those wonderful summer days you simply can't let go of. Hot, sunshine, green grass folding over and over into the breath of the wind and clouds so magnificent they could pass for heaven! The air was full of earth, roses, lavender and rosemary... hints of pine and lost sheep on the mountain as they paced back and forth eating green life and searching for the nearest shade tree!

Tomorrow is a new week. Last night 'round 3:30 AM I awoke, put on my ancient bath robe and went outside.

The moon was 90% full and Clair de lune was permeating every living thing, sleeping or fully awake!

I removed my robe, laying it on the ground, then laid my white body on the robe and indulged in a moon bath! Divine grace. I actually did a hell of a lot of deep cleaning in the brain area.

Moon light is just as important as Sun shine. I know Sunshine has vitamin D but maybe, just maybe, moonlight has vitamin "D"-ream and vitamin "P"-eace of mind within its vibrations... All I do know is: I talked to my cats back in WY. I visited with some friends that are no longer with me and I sent three big packages of love to three friends that are alive and well. I did send some love to family and most of all I remembered to love myself!

(These are the moments you wish to hell you had saved that certain "bud of paradise" and were able to inhale it as the moon kissed your more sensitive parts!)

Life is very balanced for me at the moment!

I'll be seeing you... BJ

A great talent has left this dimension!!!

Heath Ledger was found dead this morning in his apartment in Brooklyn NY. I admired this man beyond words.

His role in Broke Back Mountain was amazing and I love that movie because I LIVED THAT MOVIE in the 1960's! Heath fit the part of Ennis perfectly.
Heath was born in Perth the land of OZ. (Australia) He was 28 years old. I nearly fainted when I saw his age. I attempted suicide when I was 28. FAILED! Kind of like so many other things I tried when I was 28!

His role in Brokeback represented endless problems in the 60's relating to love, and relationships.

In 1965 I was in Los Angeles when the Watts riots broke out. You had to have been there to believe the hate, anger, whites against blacks... Another problem in the 60's Blacks, (racial) were not allowed to marry whites. It was done but never approved of. Viet Nam was a nightmare from the depths of hell and the list goes on... BUT, some fantastic music was created out of the 60's and 70's and many changes. From LSD drugs to the LDS Church!

I honestly try to forgive so much of life's insanity, but there are times I really have to shake my head in amazement that I am still here!

I'm gonna keep my friends above all else!

A friend sent me an e mail with a simple test. I am a happy sucker for these games!

You are alone in a desert. Burning up with heat and no water in sight. You have five animals. You must rid yourself of the animals one by one as you journey on through the desert.

The first animal I removed was the monkey.
Next was the Lion, then a Horse, Cow and finally I would leave the desert with a sheep. The order that you removed the animals was and very important part of the test.

Monkey was my first choice. It represents my children! (well, that was not hard, get rid of one major problem in your life!)

I chose the Lion as my second choice. The lion's meaning was my PRIDE.

I then removed the Horse. Horses represent one's Passion!

Finally I removed the Cow. The cow translates into One's BASIC NEEDS!

I leave the desert with the sheep! The sheep means: FRIENDSHIP! So when things get tough, I get rid of the kids, then swallow my pride, drop my "passion" like a bolt of lightening and discard of my basic needs very easily, but KEEP THE FRIENDSHIPS.

When I was in my early teens a very dear piano teacher told me time and time again that when I came to the end of my life friendships would be more precious than anything else I had worked for during the course of my entire life!

I think he was trying to tell me was the fact friendships remain after many love affairs burn out, family difficulties can separate siblings, parents cousins for years and even lifetimes!

I've had many friends that were an intense part of my life's journey during my 20's and 30s. Most of them have 'crossed over'... walked out of their bodies and stepped into the void, but their voices, their touch, laughter and certain glances are indelibly etched into the neurons of my brain...

Friends I have not laid my eyes upon for over 30 years keep in touch with me still to this day and even though we do not visit we e mail every few days and maintain a golden coil of love and light between us that years ago would not be possible except for snail mail and telephone calls... (It would be very difficult for me to hand over my I Pod and Mac in the desert!)

I do not have hundreds of friends. Most of my friends could be counted on both hands... 10 maybe more. Most of that 10 do not live with me or live within driving distance of where I live! They know who they are. I will admit that practically all my friendships were birthed because of music and my love of metaphysics.

Okay, I am taking my sheep and we're walking out of here!
Oh, "I'll Be Seein' You"...

Olive Oil & Wine

The past 5 years I have cooked exclusively with olive oil. Extra Virgin OR Light Virgin? The very green organic olive oil that costs plenty but the fruity flavor is thrilling I find it to be the best! Go to a organic food store.

About 5 years ago a bad mistake was made in diagnosing a cholesterol test I had taken 2002 or 2003. My cholesterol was over 300... What ever in hell that meant? I was put on Lipitor. It nearly killed me! Every joint and muscle in my body was in pain. I honestly believe it brought on a vengeance of arthritis beyond words!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

Found out, my cholesterol was fine. Wrong person got the wrong numbers! Yikes! In the mean time, I went on a massive journey to discover what cholesterol really was and how to control it from giving me a major heart attack. One of the keys was Olive Oil and red wine. Since then, olive oil is one of my best friends.

An Olive Tree takes 30 years to mature but can live up to a 1,000 years!
A big freeze in France in 1956 devastated nearly 300,000 olive trees. Today France only has 70,000 olive trees! Olive oil can be used in so many ways... Cooking, skin care, base for enhancing so many herbs and foods...

Wine was being used as an antiseptic before 3000 B.C. in Egypt. Wine was also used in the same way in China. Chinese legends speak of wine making in the same period used for medicinal and celebration purposes. Most always two sets of wine were made by kings. Funeral and Domestic wines.

Wines Contain vitamins A, B & C as well as 13 minerals essential to human life... and too much wine can ruin your life! Been there. However, cooking with wine and olive oil can be a magic potion that can bring food alive as well as the person eating it.

Ever since the fiasco with the cholesterol I have drank pino noir or any red wine every day and plenty of olive oil... according to the last test c. was perfect.

I found that IF I cannot sleep, making a cup of mulled wine will put me into dream land very fast. Use cheap red wine!

(your going to be heating the wine so do not use an expensive wonderful wine that was created for room temperature and a gorgeous glass with space for the wine to breathe...)

add a tablespoon of raw or brown sugar, and half a teaspoon of cinnamon. Cinnamon is fantastic for circulation! DO NOT BOIL THE BREW! I put it in the microwave for 1 minute on high, sometimes 30 seconds more. Delicious and so good for you!

Sweet dreams.

Finished the book...

My time in New Zealand is never wasted. I attempt to read books that have wanted to read all year and that I find of interest.

I loved Ken Follet's novel, "Pillars of The Earth". Well, after all these years he has written the sequel to that book. "World Without End." The book is written the way novels used to be written: many, many pages! 1,014 pages are in the hard cover edition. There is not a paper back edition as of yet! I loved the book. (Lots of sex, religion, government, murder and love!)

I have M. reading "Atlas Shrugged". I have read that novel three times since 1980! I am now reading a wonderful book:
"The Time Of Our Singing" by Richard Powers. He composed a book that sent me over the moon years ago called:
The Goldbug Variations" about computers, music and emotions that touch many cosmic levels! This man knows music. I must contact him one day.

Years ago, I always contacted people that composed books I loved.
I have made some amazing friends through my reading of what I call "there is a reason for every thing books"...

Because of a book I read years ago: "The Anatomy of A New York Recital", I wanted to perform a recital in NYC.

Because of book called "With Your Own Two Hands", I found a teacher that guided me toward that dream... I am now very dear friends with these people and people they have introduced into my life of music and art! Because I contacted them I have received beautiful blessings upon my life!

One day I swear I will find a "ghost writer" that will help me write the book of my life! It will be HOT STUFF BABY! I mean really
a melt down for a lot of philosophies and dogmas that I proved to be totally BS! Whoopee! That was a strong statement.

Shall keep reading. Everyone should... oh and I'll be seeing you!

CORRECTIONS!

Not REGION, I MEANT RELIGION!!!

Cooking as a sole region...

I love to cook. Always have and hope to always be able to prepare delicious comforting food until my time comes to cross
over into another dimension...

The past 2 weeks I have been cooking for 5 people instead of the 4 of us because our dear friend Beverly is living in her apartment next to our house until the first part of February. She donates her share to the grocery and wine bills. Every evening
'round 7:30 PM she walks over and as she enters our front door makes a firm proclamation in a beautiful British accent:
"GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!!!" (hell, I wonder which queen she is asking the almighty to save? Lizzy or me the chef???)

In the two weeks she has been dining with us I have managed to never repeat the same meal twice.

I cook in the kitchen and
prepare the table the way I desire while family and Beverly sit in the lounge and enjoy some TV with wine or tea. When I have plated the plates or spread out the food buffet style I say: "GOD SAVE THE QUEEN!!!) and they come into the dinning room. Such a
wonderful ritual before the sun sets and everyone settles in for the night. After dinner conversation usually reaches to unexplainable solutions to the worlds problems or sharing fond memories of years past.

I love French Country Style Cooking as well as Italian. One man that I admire most sincerely is a French actor and director Christophe Malavoy. A few years ago he made a profound statement about cooking and dining with his family.

"We discovered the pleasures of fine dining years ago when dining at a fine restaurant.

Time seemed to come to a standstill. All our senses were awakened.

We were aware of nothing but the pleasures on the table and in our eyes. It was sort of a MASS in the land of FOIE GRAS!

Since then, cooking has become my sole religion. I believe that gathering around the table can have a spiritual dimension...
Time seems to stop and we float between heaven and earth in sheer delight!"

I find that cooking could be a religion. One does have to exercise a certain amount of "FAITH" when cooking and if you have chosen your ingredients with love and touch them lovingly miracles can happen!

We are having a curry and tarragon chicken this evening with garden greens and home made bread and fresh butter. Wish you were here, but, as another of my hero's used to say: I'll be seeing you!



"

New Year's Eve in Queenstown, NZ

It is nearly 9:00 PM. Sun is still bright in the sky and music fills the air. Neighbors are grilling steaks outside, drinking bottles of beer from very green bottles. Town is jam packed with young and old people.
I made schnitzel, potato salad, mixed summer veggies and peasant bread for dinner. We ate on the patio. A dear friend of the family is visiting from Wellington so we opened a bottle of Pinot Noir Wine and had fun after the meal pulling "cracker's filled with silly paper hats, jokes and a gift.

Every year people make New Year's Resolutions. I do not do that. I prefer making wishes for the New Year. Goals are important and give great meaning to one's life, but aging allows you the pleasure of looking back on all the goals you did achieve over your life to the present moment and hopefully you hear a gentle whispering voice deep within you head and heart that tells you your "reality" really occurs within your BRAIN and your mind is not your brain!

Your mind is that endless, eternal part of you that has always been and always will exist because your mind does not know "time"... This dream uses "time" to measure where and when things happen. I've learned that life is really "events".
Einstein gave us Relativity and therefore we are able to know millions of events that are dreams occurring at the same time!

Example: I have not felt well for a couple of days. Today I walked to the town center and had coffee at a cafe with a great patio setting. I listened to so many conversations going on at the same time. Young people in love with endless dreams, some people looked sad, God only knows what had occurred in their dream this morning. Death or some kind of upsetting news. Other's were totally absorbed in their life with their children. Then there was me.

One thing I do pray for is: a NEW and HONEST administration in Washington DC. I hope for cures to diseases and free medical treatment for every person on planet earth. I hope for some kind of balance with world population. I know I sound like a very blonde contestant in some "Peach Days Beauty Pageant"...

Happy Happy 2008 to the me I AM and the world I am living in.

A really ugly priest of what?

Took this while having fun with the camera in the computer. Been one hell of an enormous day. High winds, cold and lots of blistering rain.

Helping a friend... with poetry

All of my life when ever I have been slammed up against a wall, my brain and face gasping for air I have been able to reach my arm behind me and grasp a book of poetry... a song in words. Music is my life's way of expression but poetry is music's lover?

A friend of mine is experiencing a time of depression and disappointment, therefore I told her to read some of Mary Oliver's poetry... Possibly she will, more than likely she will not read the poetry so I am posting one of Mary's poems here on my blog...

Mary is a most amazing woman. She never received a degree from The University of Ohio or Vassar College, but she went on to achieve some unbelievable feats in the world of words.

She was born in 1935... She lost her life time partner a few years ago. Mary loved the poetry of Edna St. Vincent Millay. When Mary was a teenager Norma, (Edna's sister and sole survivor) allowed Mary to help file and organize much of Millay's works, letters and Mary was able to live at "Steeple Top", ESVM home for many years, during that time.

I keep a book of her poems on my bedside table. I have oft times read this poem when I am facing a difficult situation...

THE JOURNEY

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice---
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But Little, by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do---
determined to save
the only life you could save.

Today is Christmas in New Zealand! I wish everyone that has ever or does read this blog a very glorious new year.

I know we are to celebrate the birthday of a King, Christ. I know he died so that we might live... Well I say save your own life the best way you can because you and I are the Christos of our own lives.

Stars do burn through sheets of clouds and there lives a voice which is your very own voice... (the throat chakra!) That voice is your fingerprint that identifies your survival through this illusion!

I wish with all my heart we all find our own voice in the new year.

Papillons

Today was a most wonderful summer day. Hot, perfect sun and sky. Every window in the house outstretched like an open arm welcoming in the seasonal air.

About 5:00 PM I ventured out for my hour walk about. The village was vibrating with life. It seemed as if a ship had docked thousands of foreigners into Queens town. Every language filled the air.

I sat on a bench near the shore line of the lake, to take a rest and a young girl yelled out at me! "Merry Christmas! Come over here!" I was stunned, but got up and walked over with my back pack on my shoulder and sun glasses on my head!

There were about 8 young men and women wearing nothing but the least of clothing, all on the grass drinking wine. They were Brazilian. We chatted and then I excused my (what seemed very old self) and wandered up the side walk to the market.

What a nice gesture and how kind they were to me. It was wonderful because the past few days have been depressing. A certain member of the family was supposed to be with us for the five months we are here and they have made things impossible to spend the time with us!

BUT, the trip to Dunedin was magic. Sad in many ways because of the invisible depressing energy this absence has caused, but before we left Dunedin we attended the exhibition of the Butterflies at the University Museum. It is unexplainable.

They have created a Tropical Rain Forest in a very small space with three or four levels. Plants, gold fish within a room full of colorful butterflies that fill the sacred space. It is very humid and you do not want a jacket or anything in that area.

The Butterflies are of every size and color. We saw them as they spin their cocoons from being caterpillars into a pupa and then they hatch upside down and hang for up to two hours waiting for their wings to dry out!
Every morning the attendants free the new born butterflies. The only way to explain it is to experience it!

God they were in my hair and on my arms. I loved it. Truly a angelic experience. Like the old line: Butterflies are Free!

Only frustrating thing was to think we live on such a gorgeous orb and yet men keep killing and seeking power and money!
When there is an entire Eco- system functioning within all this insane drama.

Yesterday I found peace through the life of a butterfly!

Years ago I struggled to learn a composition at the piano "Papillons" by Grieg! He captured the dance of such a light and delicate package of life! I will never look at a butterfly again without blessing it!

Something very touching...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mogkhlfn-Wg Hopefully you can click this address and watch this wonderful video.

It has rained on and off the past couple of days. Over cast with heavy cloud cover, but it does make the lawns so green.

Yesterday being Sunday we drove out to Carrick Winery. Had a delightful lunch. Gnocchi rolled in egg plant, pesto and some amazing bread. Of course the Pinot Noir is one of my favorites, but this time I opted for a Chardonnay! It was quite nice.
First time in years I did not take my camera with me! Every year I have a photo taken of me at Carrick Winery because it is like an omen, I made it back to my "other home" on earth.

Today I had more of that god awful pulsating light treatment done to my face. It hurts and it makes me feel like shit afterward.
I don't want anymore laser
pulses shot into my face. (It has cleared up the pre cancerous demons and balanced one hell of a lot of my pigmentation.)

The Doctor said I will be "frek-less" very soon! Really? I was born with freckles and my grandmothers told me I had been kissed by the angels!

Thursday we are driving to Dunedin. I will spend part of the day in the Art Gallery. No doubt see a movie at the Metro beside Town Hall and hopefully eat at one of my favorite restaurants, The Etruscan. I love pasta! If not there we will eat at "A Cow Named Bertha". Great food.
The Etruscan has such great vegetarian food and it is Italian, (NO KIDDING???) I do love the Blue Cod at Bertha so we will see.

Also hope to catch up with Hyrum at Twang. He helped me with Garage Band, the recording system in my computer when I was trying to make my "OPEN HEART" recording.

He has a great music shop. I wrote a blog about him last year. Maybe I'll buy a guitar and really drive the neighbors crazy! There is a wonderful baby grand piano at Beggs Music that I would love to have, but it would be far too loud for this close living space. Both neighbors told me to please buy it! Wait till they had to endure hours of scales and arpeggios! Bach Preludes and Fugues in the night! But, there would be the late night rendition of Clair de lune, or Moonlight Sonata, or possibly something very quiet I invented!

The Christmas tree is beautiful. It really does look wonderful from the top windows of the house! Too bad there is not a chimney for Santa to slide into with gifts for all the good girls and boys...

Old Journals

My studio in NZ has a book case full of interesting books, music, candles, rocks, what ever I cram into it's cavities.

The other night I thought to my self, "Right, get off your lazy ass and clean this mess up!" I did just that! Filled an entire rubbish bag with dried tubes of oil paints, out dated food supplements, CD's that are of no interest to me what so ever... but amid the debris I found a Musical Journal I had filled with priceless words from my teachers as well as details about my musical trips to NYC over the years. I will share one entry: Pollini's Carnegie Hall Concert. November 1998.

"I always feel claustrophobic to the point of jumping out of my skin when in a concert hall I am seated in the balcony. Alas! the seat is a decent seat. It is in the circle, left hand side, an excellent view of the key board. The biggest problem with the seat is that there is no leg room because in 1900 when Carnegie Hall was dedicated and became one of the finest concert halls in the world, people were much smaller than they are today. FACT! Door handles and door knobs used to be positioned much lower on doors than they are in today's homes. (The bottom line of why I am not enjoying this seat is that I have hurt my left knee. God it is always the left knee. I cannot walk up stairs! So sitting in this cramped position with my knee smashed into the railing is not pleasant. Besides that, I am sitting beside a woman that will not stop talking to me! She goes on and on about her 28 year old son who is in medical school here in NYC. He is not doing well... his grades are fabulous! The stress of becoming a MD is what is driving him to the brink and he suffers serious depression. Well, I really don't give a damn, because if he wants stress he should try to become a concert artist!!! Besides I am here to hear the Italian Stallion play the piano, not to hear about her son's complications at medical school...

Concert time is set for 7:30 PM. Precisely at 7:40 PM Pollini appears. He is my size. Possibly 5' 10" He is in his 60's. He moves across the stage very quickly, almost dashes across the stage to the piano. He grasps the piano as to secure his sudden landing. He sits and immediately dives into the Schumann. From where I am seated I can see the top of his head.
Male Pattern Baldness is ravishing what had to be at one time a gorgeous head of hair. (Being Italian he had to have hair! Most Italians have hair every where!)

Intermission and I am doomed with the mother of the 28 year old med student. Finally part two of the concert. He performs two Chopin Nocturnes and the fourth Ballade.

The audience is wild with applause and shouts of Bravo. Apparently Pollini does not do encores as the applause thunders away for 7, mind you, 7 curtain calls. He finally sits at the Steinway and play the Harp Etude by Chopin. Simply gorgeous then out of the blue he starts the Ballade in G Minor by Chopin as a second encore! He made some errors, but his approach to the work was almost a jazzed feeling! I loved it! I limp to the handicap elevator. God, what have I done to this knee?

I walk back to the Village. Anything to get this knee working. My mind is thinking of how squeamish I have become about performing the G minor. A piece that I used to perform at every concert... I have allowed a host of ghosts to take up residency in my mind. The more I deny their existence the more they breathe and live inside my musical mind!!! What is that old Buddhist saying: "Kill your own death!" Well, these ghosts have got to go. I want to play the G minor in public without fear of a glitch or complete memory break down! Ah the burden of performing.

End of entry... There are some really nice personal things that I had best keep in the journal, however, I will probably write them into this blog. I do think every person should possibly jot a few thoughts within the pages of a journal so one day they can read and measure how far they have come from where they have been.

My Own Bette Davis Film Festival

Tonight was the first of many nights this month as I am viewing old Bette Davis movies. God, what masterpieces. Max Steiner's music as well as classical themes from the great composers. Such fantastic direction from Hal Wallis....... I remember seeing these movies as a very young boy!

Tonight was "Now Voyager". Tomorrow is "All About Eve". I have 8 DVDS of these masterpieces and the sets, effects and of course the acting is superb. In between all this I will watch some South Park.

Movies to me are like living a lifetime within a few hours. Every movie ever made is like an individual lifetime I have lived or will live!!! Could it be possible that all this existence in it's reality is nothing more than a hologram within a hologram. Reviewing a lifetime I have already lived...

Music and art are timeless in the sense they capture events that occurred hundreds of years ago or that will occur in the future.
When I listen to Bach or play Bach I am living in the 1700's as well as 2007. Brahms takes me to a different time frame as well as Debussy or Willie Nelson... As Richard Bach titled one of his great novels: Illusions. It is all an illusion. Kenuae Reeves claims everything is: waves... nothing more than waves we come and go on...

Well, Bette Davis may be dead but she lives on the silver screen. Vivaldi lives every time I listen to the Four Seasons. and Gershwin's Concerto in F for Piano as well has his Rhapsody in Blue always take me to 1930's NYC. Eternity is a nice thing.
I believe it was Einstein that said: "Imagination is more important than knowledge"...

Kevin Trudeau a must read...

For all of my life, my brother, Stephen has always dropped the name of a book or steered me in the direction of a certain book that I must read. Before leaving Alpine, WY I re-read "The Man From Lebanon" by Barbara Young. The story about Khalil Gibran.
Stephen gave me that book in 1964! He guided me to Ernest Holmes works: "This Thing Called YOU"... that little red book changed my life in 1984!!! (Two decades later!)

I spent a couple of nights at his home in Utah before leaving for NZ. He had a couple of books on his kitchen table that I picked up to glance through and ended up buying as well as I am now reading word by word... If you read my blog site you must read 'THE WEIGHT LOSS CURE "THEY" Don't Want You to Know About' and 'Natural Cures "THEY" Don't Want You To Know About.' By Kevin Trudeau.

This man has balls. He is fearless and has been down that ugly road with the FDA and FTC. Amazing someone from one of these two evil dept. of USA Government has not put a bullet through his head or "Accidentally" taken him out!!!

FBI and CIA are famous for such atrocities. You can order the books on Amazon.com or purchase it from you local book dealer.
Do read them as they are honest and knowledge one should be aware of in today's insane world of greed and power...

Life in QT, NZ is heaven right now. I am on a major film festival feast. I am watching a classic Bette Davis Movie every night. I have 8 of these masterpieces with me!!! The filming is amazing, as well as the sets, clothing and of course the music and acting. There is something to be said about Black & White photography! I have always been a sucker for Art House Films. Death in Venice, Wild Strawberries, Bagdad Cafe, Hal Hartley movies it goes on and on... Last year I watched some fantastic movies with Jane Wyman, "Johnny Belinda" and of course classics such as, "Sorry, Wrong Number" with Barbara Stanwiyck!

My own life this time around could have been made into a movie. Starring!!! (Brad Pitt would make a nice looking Brenthoven! Or maybe, Ben Afleck!!! I would not mind looking like Ben! A photographer once told me I looked like the actor in "Out of Africa" that played Ms. Streeps British husband! He was a German in real life. I am half Norwegian and half European... Soooooo what ever. My dream has always been to be Brad Pitt in the movie "A River Runs Through". One of my favorite flicks of all time! (I know it can bore the hell out of some of m friends. Sorry, but I think I lived during that time frame and did exactly what Pitt does in that movie!)

This evening's sunset over Lake Wakatipu was breathtakingly beautiful. I will always seek the best of mountain, water and sky each time I am born into this dimension called EARTH LIFE!

In New Zealand at last!

Landed in Auckland New Zealand yesterday morning around 5:30 AM. Long day of air ports, flights and surrounded by people from all over the world... Connected with my flight to Queenstown. Arrived at noon. The Remarkable were stunning as always. (remember Lord of The Rings? The same mountains, minus the middle earth people...) The taxi driver remembered us from the many years of coming here. He even asked about the famous Lamb Shanks in my restaurant because he visits the web site a few times during the year!

Everything is perfectly beautiful here at 11 - Panorama Place, Queenstown, New Zealand!!! The early spring air and wind still have a slight bite within their teeth but the roses are in bloom and my parsley, mint and chives are thriving. Stocked up on groceries from the local super market. On line once again and enjoying some fantastic Pinot Noir, star light and glorious sun shine! Have many ideas for projects during the next 5 months. Had a light meal with the neighbors last night and enjoyed the conversations. Everything from I phones to used grand pianos!

I have a few books that are "MUST READS" as well as I hope to completely memorize the Rachmaninoff Prelude in G Minor and channel a new composition for piano... Hopefully I will do the gym and take my yearly hike into the bush. (God forbid, not the bush in Washington D.C. or the bush found among women! Not that the woman bush would not be wonderful) I am talking nature here!

Need my Reflexology and massage therapy as well as my left elbow must come right during this time away from Alpine. Will meet up with friends I have not seen for ages and simply having no time schedules is a dream come true!

Off to bed and sweet dreams. Until tomorrow.

Last night in Wyoming...

Today has been one busy day. Amid snow flurries, some rain and hard winds I finished banking, picked up the last of the prescriptions I needed refilled for the next 6 months and yes, washed the car. The Jeep and the BMW are put away in the garage till spring. We will drive the "Little Red Truck" to Utah. The hard wood floors in the kitchen of the house have been waxed on my hands and knees and the cupboards are clean. All the rooms in the house are ready for the last run through with the vacuum and then the draining of the pipes... Oh God, that is a big job. (One activity that I do not do or participate in anymore.)

I will be off line until the first week in December. I will be in Queenstown New Zealand back with Telecom communications.
Hopefully I will be able to access my blog and continue my writings about what ever I think is of importance to me at the time.

Last night made dinner for two of my best friends Tony & Wayne. I will miss them immensely. Always do. BUT, big surprise. Rutha that I meet up with in New Zealand with every year and usually go for a long hike, tramp, hike, came through Alpine two days ago. She dropped in yesterday morning for a strong coffee in route to the Jackson Hole Air Port. Flying to NY to visit her sister, then flying out to San Francisco to see her brother before flying to NZ. Great to catch up with her. She is a free spirit.
This woman lives out of a back pack. She has things stored all over the globe. Between AZ, WY and NZ. Such a joy to be with.

Thanksgiving will be with family. Christmas will be in beautiful Queenstown. Life is good and I will miss playing on line for a few weeks. Of course there is Barnes and Noble, BUT I AM RATHER A LAZY SLOB WHEN I AM IN UTAH! Wonder why?

I love all of you to pieces. BJ

A most amazing gift!

61 years ago on November 15, 1946 at 8:15PM I was born. Yep, today is the Birthday. Can't say anything is different, but late this afternoon as I was walking by the north window in the kitchen something very bright and orange in color caught my eye. I dashed outside to witness one of the most stunning sunsets!!! What a marvelous gift from the universe on my B. Day!

I have said it many times that after I die I want my ashes spread at sunset. To me a sunset is like the ending climax in a symphony! One amazing element about this sunset was: The pink delicate clouds passing in front of the crest of the moon and a blue sky as the background! The crest of the moon was hanging in the south western sky and the sunset was blazing in all it's symphonic glory toward the north west! The snow capped mountains reflected the fiery light as if the tops of the peaks were in flames! Made for a dynamic birthday candle. I did not have to blow it out! I absorbed the image and caressed it close to my heart. I am so blest to live in two of the most beautiful places on earth and two places with wide open skies!

New Computer!

Last week a rather large box was delivered by FED X. I thought it was stuff for the house. I suddenly realized it was from APPLE, Yep! MAC... It seems that for my Birthday, Christmas and all other occasions that warrent receiving gifts from loved ones are fully covered with this fantastic gift! I love it.

A spankin' brand new Mac-Book Pro. It is gorgeous. I have spent hours on it and with my computer Guru who has been teaching me how to transfer data from my old mac to this new one. (Including my Blog site.) This is the first time I have posted a blog from this computer. This baby will fly to the bottom of the planet end of this month and be pumping 220 volts of electricity through it's veins! The pictures are so perfect. Watched bits of movies last night and was was amazed at the quality of resolution.

We finally had some rain and the mountain peaks are covered with white snow. It is getting colder which is a definite sign that I should be getting out of this climate. Also sea level is so nice for breathing! Will be in New Zealand around December 1, 2007.

Have lots to write about, but want to play with other features on my new lover! (So sexual!) I will never eat an apple without thinking of the wonderful apple on the cover of my Mac Book. Apples are good for you.

Water Boarding? Thank God for Keith Olbermann

I watched Countdown with keith Olbermann tonight!

Dear God, what a horrible administration we are living under. Water Boarding is not torture? Keith's speech was spell binding. Keith Olbermann has balls. He has courage and his fearless attack against this idiot President and VP is refreshing as a a clean glass of cool water. Water made from clean snow that falls from a blue sky filled with pure air!

Thank God, the Universe, the Goddess what ever one wishes to call the REAL GUIDING FORCE behind this planet's evolution into something beyond dualism and war, hate, fear forever guards us with loving information and guides us into peace...as we live through this nightmare of lies and terror. These goons are the terrorists. They stole two elections from the people, managed to have the congress decree them power that allows them to break all laws of humanity and totally walk away from the constitution! This is a government of secret combinations.

I thought Johnson, Nixon and Ragen were bad, but these two evils in the white house are ruling as dictators in a flat earth society. These two make me believe that reincarnation is a fact! Hitler, Stalin returned?

A Senate and House that are so weak and afraid they cower to his every wish? Where are the radicals, the protesters? Where are the rebels of my generation, the 60's 70's 80's?????? Could it be we have become completely brain dead? No? There are some people in the media and in the world of the web that are making changes. Information is at our fingertips. Peace can and does live within our hearts and minds if we THINK.

If we do not allow anyone else to take our power to think and act according to what is right for us, not what is right for an organization or party. The Republican party has become a blind organized religious sect. Go see the movie Jesus Camp! Look at the Salem burning of women and men thought to be witches. The Popes that have killed in the name of God. I was raised in a church whose founder practiced Polygamy. Three Prophets after him practiced polygamy. Nice life for women? Now that church I was raised in condems the Warren Jeffs of the FLDS but where did he get his beliefs? From Joseph Smith and the 1830 edition of the Doctrine & Convenants... Dogma! BLINDED BY FEAR OF GOD. God is NOT FEAR. God is FREEDOM.

This administration in Washington DC have used the greatest cared in the deck: The Religious Fear Card. The bible says the god of the old testament is a JEALOUS GOD! WHAT IN HELL IS THAT? God is supposed to be perfect? He/she is beyond Jealousy! Stick with Christ. He would have forgiven the Saudis and Afghanis that bombed the twin towers. He would have loved his enemies... go figure!

The Golden Secret is: The enemy is within! We are more than our bodies and NO ONE CAN HURT OR CONTROL YOU IF YOU DO NOT COOPERATE WITH THEM! YOU AND I OWN TWO THINGS: OUR MINDS AND SOULS!

I'm embracing my hippie philosophy: Make Love not War. Peace not War. Forgiveness is the key to everything.

Central Park

One of my favorite places in Central Park. This is the Angel Fountain used in the Movie: "Angels In America".

Photo of the 8 guys I traveled to NYC with. Notice the pigeon sitting on the angel's head. Next is a shot of the fountain taken from the bridge above it. No autumn colors like years past. Interesting fact, the man that died during the NY Marathon this week died at the Boat house just off to the left of these photos. A place I always have lunch! Nice place to pass over to the other side!

NYC 2007

For me, NYC is one magical adventure. Working in the business 7 days a week, up to 14 hours a day for 5 months becomes a safe institution with challenges, but for the most part you are doing the 'same ole, same ole' every day. Suddenly stepping out of the uniform every day meaning chef jacket, cap and Crocks into jeans, boots, shirts seems strange, but then to re-unite with my piano is a thrill. Preparing for a performance class at Carol Montparker's Studio in Huntington, NY.

Flew from SLC to JFK non-stop. 9 guys from WY and ID on a plane and only three of the nine had ever been in NYC before!
Landing was perfect, great ride into the city. Stayed at a lovely hotel, The Wolcott on 31st between 5th Ave. and Broadway.

After settling in the rooms we all walked to Times Square. So many people and such bustling energy. A complete upside down situation from where we came from! We purchased Metro Passes for the Subways and sure enough hopped on one to the famous Christopher Street. Took the guys to the famous Stone Wall Bar. The beginning of the Gay Movement in America exploded into reality in that bar in 1969. I remember it well... and not without strange emotions as I was in NYC in 1969. After the walk through memory lane we took the subway to the hotel and slept in anticipation of the next day.

Most everyone did their own thing. Monday was spent in Central Park. The park is simply wonderful. Many photos. Had lunch at the Boat House. Walked until my feet were screaming for relief.

I waited for the guys to catch up with me at the Entrance into the park near Columbus Square. While standing in the hot sunshine, watching a tap dancer entertain the people, a filming crew showed up and began interviewing people, asking questions regarding health. It seemed from out of no where they suddenly were interviewing me! Filming the entire event!!! I answered the questions regarding everything from cancers to depression and signed the release to use my face and silly answers on the cable show they were filming for.

After another walk through the park three of us went to what used to be the Metrople Restaurant in the Village for dinner. It is now "Les Deux Gamins" at 189 W. 10th St. Great food. Then a walk about the villiage and home to bed.

Tuesday was a special day. I spent the day in one the most sacred places on the planet: The Metropolitan Museum of Art.
I love this space and the Greek and Roman Saturday were marvelous. I have always fantasized that possibly all these pieces of art actually come to life when the lights go out! The main attraction was the Rembrandt exhibition.

Wednesday: the MOMA. Museum of Modern Art. Here I become crazy! Picasos, and two of my favorite artists, Van Gogh and Monet... Had a deeeeelicious lunch. Sandwich made with Maine lobster, salad and mushroom soup! Then back to the boards, endless miles of breath taking art.

Before going to the MOMA I stopped by Carnegie Hall and purchased my ticket to hear Andras Sshiff play four Beethoven Sonatas. I have never in my life sat in the Parquet section! I blew the money and bought a seat 8th row back center aisle.
The most amazing view of the piano and stage. He played like a GOD! My feet did not touch the ground all the way back to the hotel...

Thursday was another overwhelming event. Alex Grey's Chapel of Sacred Mirrors. I have loved this mans work forever, but finally saw the gallery with my own two eyes. I could write a small book about this place and what was spinning in my head.
Had lunch at a small French Cafe. Tony's back was killing him, so we walked to the Chinese Massage and he had a long massage. Thursday evening I attended my 9th live performance of Phantom of The Opera and yes I cried. I love the music and the story. I believe the Angel of Music caresses my heart and soul more than ever...

Friday walked to Penn Station and took the Long Island Rail to Huntington to perform in a class with my coach, Carol Montparker. Seymour Bernstein was not able to work with me this year so I spent Friday afternoon and evening with the Taubs and next morning awoke to Bach being played on the Steinway. Delicious breakfast and then Carol and I worked on music. Two hours of intense playing and conversation. Exchanging ideas, different ways to approach the music making it more beautiful and enjoyable to perform it.

Took the train back into the city around one PM. My mind spinning with all the ideas and sounds we had created while in Huntington. Met up with Erin in the afternoon. Went to dinner. Then had too much wine! Not good for my body. A bit of wine I love, but I got carried away and suffered in ever so many ways. I have a horrible habit of talking too much when I become inebriated. OMG, way toooooo much. It is forgiven and I will behave for a long time.

Sunday, off to JFK and flight home. Spent the night with my family in Utah and then drove the 4 hours to WY. Came home to beautiful weather and lots of work yet to do, but above all else I am a blest man to have experienced and to continue to live the adventure I find irresistible and so delicious. Life is good. New Zealand is on the horizon.

First big snow fall

I awoke to a winter wonderland this morning. It has not really stopped snowing on and off all day. Tomorrow hopefully the
roads will be plowed enough to drive to Utah. I may take my laptop to NYC with me this year so as to blog and keep up on
e mails. We will see come morning!
Get to packing Brent!
These photos were taken from my bedroom window mid morning today!

The Little Red Truck

For years we have talked about purchasing a used pick up truck for carrying lumber, garbage, equipment and other big stuff...
End of August I mentioned it to one of my girls that helps me cook as well as waits tables in my restaurant. She became all excited and said,
"I want to find this for you! You want a Toyota. It is the best. My brother knows where and what to look for." I trust this woman with my life because she is a dear friend as well as a honest, loyal employee.
Sure enough she found me a truck within hours. I wrote at check for a hefty sum of money and she drove to Idaho Falls where she would purchase the truck! She came flying into the parking lot of the business around 11:30 PM on September 1. Well here it is! I love it. See, if you live long enough you are supposed to get everything you ever wanted plus maybe some extra things you don't even know your gonna get! Liza M. sings a song that goes something like: "I met a man he drives a
truck. He's mighty dumb but he sure can - - - -......DRIVE!" Well, I did not get a dumb man with the truck, but it sure can drive.

The next photo is of the flower box on my patio dining area. Had to pull the gorgeous things yesterday. Sad, but fall time is turning into snow later tonight...

physio therapy

Last February in Queenstown, New Zealand I was working out at the QT Gym, doing skullies on about the forth rep I felt a
pain beyond words. It was if someone had stabbed my elbow with a butcher knife. Since that afternoon I have never been without pain... Four doctors have X-rayed my elbow... Arthritis, etc. etc. etc. finally I went to a phyiso therapist. Know one will believe it, but they discovered that I have torn a part of the triceps... three heads on the large muscle. I am finally finding relief and yes, I am taking a powerful anti-inflammatory drug, however with the therapy I will be able to play again and even lift weights. Amazing. I am learning that at the age of nearly 62 one does not lift nearly 30 pound dumb bells over one's head without injury... Listen to your body and act your age!

Boise

Boise Idaho is one of my favorite places on earth! Possibly because of such priceless artistic friends and the young people I have the blessing of coaching when I am at my dear friend Shirley T's home. The walls are covered in art work. Oil paintings created by her friends as well as photos and mementos of outstanding musicians. She has bits and pieces of Native American Indian influences every where the eye can see. She is one of the angels on this planet and is willing to share with so many.

I arrived on Friday afternoon. Early that evening she had 7 of her painting friends and their husbands in for a lovely meal. Two students performed and then I played. What a celebration. After everyone left Shirley and I sat up with a bottle of Pinot Noir
Wine, my favorite wine, and talked until three in the morning! I had to be up and ready at 10 AM for my first master class.
After coaching four wonderfully talented pianists. Shirley took me to one of my favorite restaurants for lunch. Back to her home where I gave two private piano lessons to outstanding young men. I had a massage scheduled at 4:30 with a man that has magic hands. Barley made it to the appointment but as always Bert released so much tension and erased pain that has been plaguing me in my right leg. Enough! We headed home made sandwiches coffee and relaxed. As the evening unfolded we poured more wine and cheese, jumped from one subject to the other and ended up being up until nearly 2:30 AM!

Sunday had my horoscope read by Clinton. Always a insightful and "wake up call" regarding who I am and where I am going. After the 3 and a half hour session with him off to the Mall. Dinner at a wonderful restaurant and again chatter and bonding until the wee hours of the morning. Monday morning off to the Air Port. Flew from Boise to SLC and then into IF.

I may be selfish but I treasure these events where I can be totally me and not worry about what I look like or say as well as be in complete harmony with my spirit. I am a blest man. Thank you Shirley.

Past, Future...

Finally, closed the business Sunday evening. September 30th. 2007 proved to be one of our biggest seasons ever. My body tells me it was enormously hard work! Operating a fine restaurant is like producing a broadway play... There are many players behind the scenes that make the events on stage possible. Candles have to be changed, flowers arranged, table clothes and silver cleaned, orders for products must be made in time for delivery when the food is fresh and can be prepared for the day it is to be served. Food items, dishes washed and polished, salads made, food prepped and the list is endless however, when everything is in sync it becomes a magical symphonic performance that can rival most Broadway plays.

Within every working kitchen you will find each worker sharing his and her personal dramas which runs the gamut of emotions. Love affairs, anger with parents, headaches, financial problems, political and religious differences the list is endless.
My little space becomes a rollicking universe of love, an emotional roller-coasters that can change within a heart beat and lots of laughter and the tears.

For the past few days I have worked hard cleaning, sorting out products, saying goodbyes, and thinking that I have to to get
into my other lifestyle! I will fly to Boise Idaho tomorrow. There I will coach two find pianists for performances and perform a master class. Spend time with a dear friend and healer. I am trying desperately to make friends with a man named: MR. Arther
Itis.
My left elbow is ruining my life. I cannot play at times because of the severe pain. I will find a cure or way to deal with
this bastardly curse! Today I will find my batered suit case, pack some music, note paper and pens, chargers for cell phone, I Pod, and find my camera. Toss in the pills for pain, a change of undies and begin a life that I love so much, sharing music and helping others to love and understand the language it speaks to our hearts, minds and spirits.

Off to NYC end of the month! The autumn colors are gorgeous. Temps are quite cool, but the autumn light is a blessing.

taking a break

Finally the last of the big bookings are over. Business has slowed to a relaxed pace. One I can live with forever!
I am taking a short break from my blogging. Will resume posts as of September.

Out of July, into August

I thank the blessed universe that I am out of the month of July. Today is the first day of August and in three weeks
part of my kitchen help will be back in school. Half way through the season. Everyday I gaze into my garden window in
my restaurant kitchen blessing all the tiny rocks, icons, gargoyles and plants. Even the plants began feeling the stress
of July and started diseases... They are healing as of this moment. Whoee. What a month it has been. More will follow in
another blog. Gotta get to work.

Shakespeare in the Parks

Tonight we are hosting Montana State Universitie's Summer Theater presentation: "Shakespeare in the Parks". Should be
fun IF the rains don't wash away the thespians. Interesting thing: They are not performing a play by Shakespeare
but rather a Bernard Shaw play!

I remember a hundred years ago being in the Greek Summer Festival at what was then Weber State College. I was 21 and
full of cum and not to many brains! But loved the theater. We act the roles and parts we are given every day of our lives.
We have a full house tonight. Lots of dinners. Things are smoothing out. Can't wait to get into August.

July Maddness...

In my life July seems to always translate into major breakdown or emotional and physical melt down. Problems with staffing, fatigue, heat and always the passing over to the other side of friends and family members.

Sunday, July 15 was my third night of Music Under The Stars. Bryan, (bass player) was able to perform with us. He had been in ICU for days on end but miracles do happen and he is home and was able play the entire gig with the quartet. Alan's wrenched back had come right so he was able to blow his horn like an angel and Stoney was spot on with the drums. Brent was all over the place! I did not feel right late in the afternoon when I was setting up my piano and amps. I had all the prep done, but was so very tired. Well, at the end of the night I fell apart. I was burned out. Everything was pushing me over the top. I cancelled the next three performances. Put a announcement in the paper on Monday the 16, 2007 that there would be no more concert/dance nights. A big decision for Brent!

I have known most of my life that improper diet, lack of sleep and exercise can take me down faster than a speeding bullet! There have been far too many situations occur this July that were beyond my control and it served as a 'wake up call' to STOP some of the many things I have been doing.
Years ago I could work 15 hours, day and night. Party forever, work out, practice piano, read tons of books, take my walks up the river and feel great! This year has been different! Could it be the fact I am getting older? Somethings that used to drive me into distraction do not even phase me anymore, and other things that never had any effect on my well being drive me crazy at times!

Things are mellowing out. I do have great help in my restaurant. I am able to come up to the house in-between shifts and nap, play my piano or go for a long walk before returning to "Brenthoven's Restaurant" until midnight.

My mother came through her surgery beautifully. So many young people have died in accidents this month, as well as a war than never ends... Global warming? OMG this is one of the hottest months on record. Forest fires are burning across the western states like a cancer totally out of control! The lies and BS out of Washington DC is disgusting beyond belief, but the stars are still in place and the moon and it's cycles are in sync. I know August and Sept. will be easier work months and then I spend a few days in Boise Idaho making music. Fly to NYC with friends and make music in Oct. My beloved New Zealand will draw me into her loving arms in December and as the song plays on I will be a part of it's melody... When Bryan was at deaths door in the ICU in Idaho Falls I called on a very special friend to do some spiritual healing work for him. It seemed to have worked! My new recording is selling at a steady pace and miracles are happening all around me, even as I write!

When things slow down a bit, I will write more about the healing episode! Gloria Gaynor sang the longest song in disco history: "I Will Survive" Well, I think I just may survive to tell it all.

If music be the food of love, then why am I still cooking?

Because, making delicious, sensuous, nutritious food is exactly like making delicious, sensuous life giving music. Same elements... like making soups. You begin with a lusty bass, be it a vegetable or meat stock, then add a thrilling Tenor that can be meat, vegetables, the Altos sing in a deep throated vibrato of curry, tarragon, rosemary, garlic sometimes basil and other herbs, then you give it the high tones, the sparkling Soprano touch, heavy cream, a dash of red or white wine, possibly fresh green onions and minced garlic or shredded cheeses, sometimes fresh parsley does the trick. All four parts must sing in perfect symphonic harmonics in order for the effects of subject matter, (melody) Harmony (overtones that resonate) color and timber
the thing that catch the eye and heart as well as scent... Ahhhhh the magic of scent. Food radiates a perfum that touches the senses in different ways for each individual person.

This photo was taken by my table attendant yesterday after lunch. I look like I am dazed, possibly drunk on not having enough sleep, but I am happy and NOPE! I am far from being drunk!

Endless days and nights

Have been working night and day. Go to bed 'round 1:00 AM set alarm for 6:30 AM. Stagger around for the coffee maker.
Yesterday cooked over 100 plates and ran out of food...
Father's Day was a hugh brunch and I swear every glass, cup, plate, and piece of flat wear have been washed and polished.
Today will be slower... Make orders, clean stove, clean behind grill, and take a long nap this afternoon before going back at
5:00 PM. I like what I do or else I sure as hell would not be doing it. It kind of amazes me that I am able to do what I have been doing half of my life: Enjoying Healthy Stress Levels!
Will post some photos of the Iris and Lupin. The Lark Spur and Red Rocket wild flowers are gorgeous.
Gotta get off the butt and get to work. Your welcome for breakfast as well as lunch or possibly dinner. The lamb or cod are
to die for!
I'm outta here...