THE CHILD IS THE FATHER OF THE MAN

Back when I was a little boy, in the Spring of 1952 there was this one afternoon I will never forget.
My mother had bathed my newly born baby sister in the kitchen sink, rubbed her body with Johnson & Johnson's baby oil and laid her in a small crib for her nap. New born babies sleep a lot. I had been outside walking through the pastures. The sky was the color of Tuscan Blue... high clouds and windy. The wash on the clothes line was flapping in the breeze and there was the scent of smoke in the air from farmers burning off weeds that grow along the banks and inside irrigation ditches.

As a little boy I treasured my "alone time" walking along fence posts, avoiding cow pies, thistle and sand burrs. My mother hated when I would come in with sand burrs stuck to my pants, socks and clay like mud from my laying inside sunken mud holes that water had created.

The wind literally lifted my six year old body to the back steps of our house. The back door opened into the kitchen.

This certain afternoon I have no idea where everyone had gone. I walked into the kitchen removing my coat and shoes. Our house always had comforting smells. Scrubbed floors, polished furniture, baking bread and at times the pungent scent of raw cow's milk. I walked into our living room.
We had mullioned windows with venetian blinds on the windows. My mother was always tipping the slats to create certain effects with the light. The carpet was a floral pattern as well as the wall paper.

I remember sitting in the middle of the room, the rays of light from the blinds casting beams of the most intense sparkling light. I laid on the carpet watching the dancing beams of energy... then into my head entered a voice. A voice that was not the sound of my child like voice... it was a different voice. Words that speak in the sound of THOUGHTS.

"You will never ever be like the rest. You are not like other boys or girls... you are NOT like anyone else..." I remember feeling not sad or concerned. I simply felt a sweet peace. I never for a moment felt or imagined I was not loved. I knew as a 6 year old boy that for the next 15 years of my life I would have to "join in"... "fall in line" with certain expectations and beliefs in order to survive.

I cannot explain what I was experiencing except that it was MAGIC. When you live in the middle of open spaces, fields of corn, tomatoes, potatoes, water melons and onions interspersed with cattle, pheasants, pigs, chickens, meadow larks and red robins, long cold winters and desert heat in the summers... it makes you see the world differently. You see magic!

Myself, I've been looking for magic my whole life. Still looking and will never stop! It's not an easy way to live. I have cried and laughed enough to fill volumes with reasons of why I love my quest for magic.

It's hard to leave parts of one's life. When I was 6 years old I never wanted to leave my life because it was as perfect as any child could ever dream of. Then school, church, and so many events would take all that away.



When my mother was pregnant with my first sister Sharon, I learned it took 9 months for a baby to develop to the point where it was able to be born. I did the math backwards from my birthday and figured I was a very special little boy because I started around February 14,1946, Valentine's day and was born 9 months later mid November.

My introduction to nature, food, music, and books were from the instant I was conceived. My parents and their families loved music and were able to sing, dance and play instruments. My mother was an avid reader and belonged to a book club where every month certain books would arrive in our mail box.

I envied people that could read. I begged my mother to teach me how to read.
She taught me how letters of the alphabet were the building blocks that created words! She would read me Fairy Tales and move her index finger under the words as she read out loud. She taught me how to hold a pencil. How to write my name.
Most of all she gave me a sacred respect and reverence for the written word. She told me that if a person could read they could do anything. I believe that is a truth beyond reproach to this very day.

Food was very sacred to my family. To enjoy good food one must summon all of his sensory trigger points into symphony. Touch, smell, sight, taste and the sounds of food cooking, it's presentation and eating together as a family or with friends was a blessing.

Being a little boy amid farms, animals and the four seasons I learned how life was created. Through rhythms, vibrations and Cycles. Most of all I learned the power of attraction. The power of negativity and positivity. To this very day I can step into a room of people and sense negative or passive vibrations. Electric currents that flow between human beings. We radiate our unspoken thoughts in the form of energy.

To the north of our house was a Fruit orchard. In front of the house was an irrigation ditch which all summer and part of the autumn carried running water to acres of farm land. Cattle lived in a huge paddock across the street and north of the calves and cows was a smelly silo pit full of rotting corn. Open spaces filled with alfalfa, stalks of corn, pungent fields of tomato plants, potatoes, sugar beets. From the time I was a little baby I was surrounded by the five sacred things of life: Air, Earth, Fire, Water and Spirit.

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LIGHT & SHADOW

Tables can be unique. They are one of the most important pieces of furniture within a home. We had a square wooden table near the east window in our kitchen. I often wonder where that table ended up.

Every meal was eaten around that table. My mother composed letters to her many sisters at that table. Once a month she wrote checks to pay bills as she sat at that table. After she had stuffed the envelopes I was allowed to lick the stamps.
When she would bake that table was the resting place for her cakes, cookies, breads as well as so many things besides food. I regard kitchen tables as alters where families and friends join together.

In the late 40's early 50's my father would sit after dinner at that table and Tool leather.
He held tools with his hands and gently tapped them against a pattern he had drawn on the surface of the leather. Leather releases a very sensuous scent.

I would sit and watch images blossom into acorns, pine cones, trees, all kinds of arabesques and even animals.

He never said much as I sat holding my chin in my hands watching hypnotically as he tapped away.

From observing his hands, I learned how SHADOW AND LIGHT play upon surfaces to create beauty. He referred to it as "highlights" and "shadows".

He made belts, vests and various pieces but the most beautiful thing was a loose leaf binder out of leather. I have no idea where that binder ever ended up, but he carried it with him for years.

He was very talented in the art of drawing. When I was 5 or 6 years old he showed me how to draw cartoon faces. People with huge noses, where upon you could draw warts, swollen lips and strange eyes. They were always PROFILES! He also showed me how to color with crayons.

SHADING was the key. He would draw on flannel pulled taunt over a board. My mother would use these in her Sunday School presentations. He'd draw a landscape upon which my mother would place cut outs depicting stories from the Bible. He used crayons to paint rocks, mountains, skies full of clouds and even oceans. I'd sit and watch him. He taught me how to draw clouds. The underneath part of a cloud must be darker than the top. Once more a lesson in shadow and light.

Pressure. One had to apply more energy against the surface of the paper in order to create a dark shade, less pressure to create a soft light color. I applied this lesson to the keys of the piano! More weight on a key created a loud, dark sound, a light touch gave forth a soft, delicate sound.

My mother dabbled in ceramics. She set up a card table in our living room and covered it with old news papers upon which she would place her figurines and paint them as she turned them in the light. The silken surfaces of the plaster would reflect light. One time she made these wall sconces that she placed Air Ferns in. She told me they literally lived on air! Maybe they did!

In the living room Mother kept an oval glass fish bowl on the radio/record player . The bowl had gold fish swimming inside it's clear waters. She fed those fish daily and fussed over the water, changing it every so many days as well as adding certain colored rocks and corrals to the bottom of the bowl.

I recall one day as she was feeding the fish they leaped from the bowl landing on the carpet. She screamed grabbing them and placing them back into the water. The fish lived as most things my mother ever touches seem to find a way to heal regardless of what ever is wrong and they go on living.

Once more a lesson. I would sit and gaze at that fish bowl as light filtered through the water and breathed light into the scales of the fish. The way the fish dove to the bottom of the glass orb and then swam to the surface of the crystal water leaving tiny bubbles that created motion in the water as well as shadow and light.

Years later I read that Debussy spent precious money of which he could not afford, on a Oriental print of Gold Fish. To this very day I always stop beside a stream or pond and look for fish. Stunned by the motion of crystal waters, light, darkness and the eternal song of silence that through music takes wings into the mystical dimension of melody and harmony.

My mother was forever moving furniture in the living room. (to save the carpet?) She'd get something placed and stand back... shake her head and then off we'd go again shoving and pushing. She was actually quite strong.

Once it was all re-arranged we'd sit on the sofa and she would smile a certain way if everything looked right and frown if she did not like it. Her eyes told her things I was only beginning to see. She was not aware of the fact she was teaching me lessons in BALANCE.

Weight and lightness within a room create a sense of well being. Mother taught me that if you place a large heavy piece of furniture at one end of the room you must balance it by putting something on the other end of the room that created evenness.

She taught me how in door plants reach for the light. She always placed plants near windows because they would be happy plants! I applied this technique in music and food presentation. I love plants. They are mirrors that reflect our inner most feelings. I always place live plants near windows and around my piano... VIBRATIONS.

When you plate food, you avoid making food appear FLAT. You associate color, hills and valleys and balance so that the plate is appealing to the eye as well as the palate.

The magic of LIGHT, SHADOW, TOUCH and MOTION then finding a BALANCE would have sacred meaning in my ability to create music and food.

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HEARING IS BELIEVING

My father milked cows every morning and every night. My little brother and I would stand in cow dung and watch our father's strong hands pull and squeeze hot white milk from cow's udders as the cows munched on green, pungent hay.

He would lift his rich baritone voice in song and the boards of the entire milking shed would vibrate with the sound of his voice. To think, his very voice is still alive in the atmosphere and inside many people's minds.

When I was a very little boy I remember hearing my father singing in fields far away. His voice raised in song was an omen, a symbol of safety and most of all he was happy.

When my mother and her sisters gathered together they would sing. They had a magical quality that only siblings have. Their vibratos matched. This is what made the Lennon Sisters so famous, the Osmonds, the King Sisters as well as many other singing families.

My mother's siblings could play bongos, shakers, spoons, banjos, guitars and ukuleles. I could not wait to go to my Grandpa and Grandma Keller's Parties because my uncles, and all of my aunts would kiss, hug and laugh. Good food, but most of all the music! The music was magic.

My Grandma Keller would sit at her piano and plunk out tunes, but when she would put a piano roll in and have us pump the pedals at the bottom of the piano with out feet! I was in heaven. Being children there were times we simply pumped too fast... running. She would stop anything she was doing and reprimand us. BALANCE! You pedal at a pace that makes the music beautiful!

From my mother's family I learned a very special phrase: " JUST PLAY IT BY EAR!"

I never doubted that I would not be able to play by ear! It was part of my inheritance. To this day when I audition a student that wishes to study with me the first thing I try to discover is if they can retain a MELODY within their mind and reproduce it on the keyboard minus a written score.

My parents purchased a Television when I was about 8 years old. I watched the Liberace show... the Bell Telephone Hour... I watched the Hit Parade... The Kate Smith Show, The Omnibus Play House, Jack Benny, Jackie Gleason with the June Taylor Dancers, The Loretta Young Show... All these black and white mono sound television shows taught me things I use to this very day when I make music.

The Hit Parade was long before American Bandstand. The Hit Parade released the top 10 songs on the CHARTS and they were performed with "sets". When Rose Mary Clooney came out with THIS OLD HOUSE... I remember watching the Hit Parade where a stage set of a very old house literally collapsed. As silly as the stage sets were by today's standards they made 'imprints' within my musical mind that to this day haunt me.

The Bell Telephone Hour showcased some of the greatest artists of the day. Ballet, Opera, Piano, Violin and Symphony. My piano teacher, Seymour Bernstein with whom I have studied longer than any teacher I ever had in my youth, appeared on the Kate Smith Show three times!

Loretta Young... I can still play (by ear) her theme song. Her show always presented a stage drama. She would come twirling through these French doors in a full gown... She featured so many great actresses and actors on her show. Ida Lappino, Burt Lancaster, Helen Hayes, Orson Wells the list is endless.

The catalyst that influenced me with the Televisions shows was: THE MUSIC. THE BACK GROUND MUSIC.
The way the music enhanced the unsay-able emotions and drama during any performance.

In later years I put this influence to great use. Background music enhances food! It balances the digestive system. It creates ambiance. Candle light would paint shadows and light... the very way a dinning room was arranged would balance the over all effect of music, food and create high lights. My mother and my father gave me the foundation upon which everything I have learned and will ever know about music, food and life evolved from.

I cannot forget the value of vibrations, color, sound, pain and yes, ever so many misunderstandings inside my life's adventure, but forever there has been a sacred jewel hidden amid all the tears and laughter: the value of love and above all else the blessing of forgiveness and unconditional love.

My mother and father to this day, in their 80's love me and the people I love without CONDITIONS. Mind you, there were years when I know they did judge me according to their beliefs in religion, politics and philosophy. Many of their beliefs I could not embrace... however, I learned one precious lesson and the words were spoken from my mother's mouth in the late 60's..."What a person believes and what a person loves are entirely two different things."



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MUSICAL

My piano lessons were a one on one learning experience. My father took me to a woman piano teacher when I was 11 years old Dorothy Code. She showed me how chords were created out of a 12 note scale. The scale being the alphabet and from those letters you created the Golden Mean. CHORDS. She taught me how the left hand notes and the the right hand created harmony and melody. She showed me how fingering worked. She taught me how to write my musical thoughts out on manuscript paper thus the creation of my own MUSIC!!!

She had a Parakette Bird in her house. The bird flew every where and scarred the hell out of me. I had the fear that it would bite my neck or fingers.

She taught me that clutter was not always a state of disorder. She kept a very messy house and claimed it was because of her low blood sugar!

She loved composing music. She had studied with one of the Mormon Tabernacle organist's DR. FRANK ASPER. I adored her until I discovered she actually hated so many local musicians. I then turned to James Pingree. He was very kind to me and introduced me to so many composers. He was a steppingstone into a new horizon and dimension I could NOT as a 13 year old boy imagine.

He introduced me me to Debbusy, Brahms., Bach, Chopin.... and most of all scales...arpeggios, octaves and how to play phrases.

I have never done well in class rooms. My musical education has been a "ONE ON ONE" learning experience. Therefore, I have sought out the most prestigious teachers in the world.

I learn from observation, demonstration which my eyes, ears, and emotions absorb like a sponge in water. My teachers have been celestial guides. (I learned years ago I have deslyxisa as well as a bit of Ausberger's disease) I have used those learning disabilities as gifts rather than curses.

My musical guides respected my individual talent as well as had the gift of drawing out as it were, my need to create my individual talent which over the years would touch the hearts and minds of many people.

One of those teacher was a woman named LOIS JOHNSTON MANNING. She knew where my heart, mind and hands were going.
She had walked down some paths I would eventually walk. She is one of my musical angels.

To this very day I carry a note from her. She gave it to me with a camera as I was leaving the train station in Ogden Utah. "I WILL BE THERE WHEN YOU NEED ME." She has been with me when I have needed a musical angel.

My father and mother have also been with me along my journey and my grandparents.

I can go on writing for ever about why and how I am the person I am today.

I am 63 years old. I have survived many things that no one except myself would understand. Possibly one day I will write a book about my entire life. My pets, the Great Salt Lake and Antelope Island. The Wasatch Mountain Range,Wyoming, New York City, New Zealand, Iceland and men landing on the moon.

My life in music has been the guiding light that has taken me every single place I was meant to go. Because of music I toured the world and shared my music with people from Asia to Europe. America and New Zealand. Because of music I have loved beyond most men's dreams. Because of music I have suffered beyond most men's capacity for pain.

When anyone asks me the question, "How did you learn to make music and to
cook?" I tell them that THE CHILD IS THE FATHER OF THE MAN... and they usually look at me with an even bigger question, like WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

I have loved poetry all of my life. Wm Wordsworth is one of my favorite poets.
In the movie "A River Runs Through" this poem is spoken as a duet.


INTIMATIONS OF IMMORTALITY from RECOLLECTIONS OF EARLY CHILDHOOD

The child is the father of the man;
and I could wish my days to be
Bound each to each by mutual piety...

Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting:
Hath had elsewhere it's setting

And cometh from afar:
And not in utter nakedness,
But trailing clouds of glory do we come
From God, who is our home.

As Sarah Williams said: "I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of
the night..."

It's been a while since...

We closed the Nordic Inn on October 3, 2010. Had a great season. Fantastic weather, lots of wonderful people and most of all I was healthy, happy and DID IT! I look forward to writing my thoughts and the amazing feeling of actually being apart of something greater than myself... something that really is OUT THERE!

Right now, I am gorging myself on a brilliant INDIAN SUMMER. Frosty mornings with the moon and stars... first light kissing the mountain peaks and COLOR. OMG, COLOR... vibrations... music everywhere. I love the fall time.

Before I fly to New Orleans and NYC I will write about the events of this summer.

Work and mor work

At last I write a quick blog. Been back in Alpine since May 5th. Weather has been constant rain with the occasional sunshine.

Opened the Nordic Inn/Brenthoven's Restaurant May 28th. Things are going quite well. I ache in different places, but I am
cancer free at the moment!!!!!!!! What More Could Any Man Ask FOR???????

I will not be updating this blog for at least a few weeks. I do appreciate those of you that follow my blog and keep in touch with
me and my life's dramas.

One thing about the rain, it helps keep forest fires at bay during the hot months of July and August.
My piano sounds like heaven and the tulips are still in BLOOM.

Will write soon....

give someone a gift...

Last Saturday I attended a gorgeous concert performed by one of NZ great Soparno opera stars. Malvina Majors. She was wonderful. We saw her in concert years ago in the gardens of Invercargill . She sang everything from "By The Light of the Silvery Moon to great opera Arias.

After the concert certain melodies kept playing inside my musical brain! I remember someone telling me that IF, you want to give a gift that will never end, GIVE THEM A MELODY... a SONG... It is so true.

When Malvina sang various things from yodeling to opera it flooded my mind with many memories and faces! From my Grandparents, Aunts, Radios, TV, Church, School and traveling... I have been given melodies that link me to a memory of wonderful people that loved me!

Chopin's Ballade in G minor fills my brains with magic... Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue... A certain person gave me the melody
"For Once In My Life"... There was a time when the Carpenter's hit: SOLITAIRE MAN drove me into deep depression!

What an amazing gift to give to some one that will haunt them the rest of their lives!

Vibrations. The beat does go on...

sorry

Sorry 'bout the STORY TIME... It is on my desk top, I simply have to cut/paste it to my blog!

Autumn has landed in NZ. Short days... Fall Time LIGHT! By 5:00 PM it is almost dark! Cold evenings and warm days unless you are out of the shade of trees.

Today had a cancer taken off my back. Sometimes I think it has set up a life of some-kind within my lungs. My lungs have forever been a problem? As a child i suffered with asthma........... Ever since my knee surgery I have carried a "puffer"...

Story Time will appear. There is a reason for everything because after I re read the story... DHAAAA lots of mistakes and somethings I need not write about! So later. In a couple of weeks.

TIme is running out. 20 days and we will be out of NZ and back to work.

BJ

Story time

/Users/brentjohnston/Desktop/the child is the father of the man.rtf

Fall time in NZ 2010 and stuff

The first photo is of a rose in my garden. GORGEOUS! My tomatoes have gone crazy, but I've only eaten three of the sensuous orbs. There are at least 40 or more on my vines. Hopefully I can eat every one of them before I leave. The apples are perfect.
We have an apple, plum and apricot tree in the back yard. The Geraniums have gone nuclear! I am telling you they are giants.

The winds have been horrific this year thus, most leaves are blown away. Color is still on the horizon, but...

Watched a most tender a touching movie, "DEPARTURES." It has everything. Death, Love, Hate, the unknown and a beautiful musical score... SEE IT!

Thank God for beauty and nature. It saves me from all the American Bull Shit of Politics and Religion.

Later, bj

Fall time in NZ 2010

Devil's Staircase

Today was a gorgeous day. Lots of sunshine, autumn colors just breaking through the greenery.

I went to the gym, had a wonderful lunch at French Cafe, Les Alpes... then walked to the market to collect some items for dinner this evening.

I walked into Henry's Shop of Spirits... Found a bottle of Pinot Noir 2008 a Central Otago wine named: DEVIL'S STAIRCASE. It was not a cheap Pinot, but the name reached out and grabbed my by the throat! Gotta have this wine!
Here is the best part, I am copying the words from the back side of the bottle, your gonna love this.

"Make the Descent - there's a little Devil in all of us. Devil's Staircase Pinot Noir takes the willing down into the realms of decadence and Bacchanalian delights. Here everything is pleasure spiced up with a dash of naughty. The unrelenting environment tortures the vines whose twisted limbs produce a wine worthy of absolution: strong and sensual with lashings of dark fruit, sinfully succulent and devilishly good.
Enjoyed either in isolated contemplation or in combination with the seared flesh of a sacrificial animal."

OMG, words can turn one's mind and body into a play ground for the devil. Let me tell you this little devil is divine! Simply had to share the words on this bottle! Wish I could carry back to USA a case of this devilish fluid! I do love good wines.

I make no apology as it seems good wine was good enough for Christ. Drink this wine in remembrance of my blood which I shed for you!!! I will be saved before the night is over!

Amazing Grace...

The concert was indescribable... why? because if someone were to tear every atom of my being apart it would add up to all the notes in the Prokofiev 3rd Concerto as well as the Rachmaninoff 2ND Concerto.

The young man that performed the Prokofiev was from Russia... he has the music in his very DNA and BLOOD. I have heard as well as had the blessings of being in the audience watching Martha Agarich perform this very concerto. If you do not know who Martha is go to YOUTUBE and discover or simply listen to her 1965 recording... In my opinion the woman is not from this planet. She is my age, but OMFG what she does with a piano is cosmic. She also speaks many languages...

The Concert in Dunedin was magic. At the end of the concert as we were walking out an usher who has seen us many times at concerts touched my arm and asked IF I had a program. I said "NO" she gave me one. The programs cost money... as we walked out into the starry night air I sensed someone standing inside one of the enclaves near a stage door smoking a cigarette.

I look into the shadows and low and behold it was the artist that had performed the concerto. He was casually dressed smoking a cigarette, much like myself at his age of 34!

I asked, "You were the Pianist?" he shyly said..."yes"... with that I embarrassed him to intensly and kissed his cheeks. He became out best friends for the moment. I told him that I had hear Martha Agarich perform this very piece... he swooned and said, "OMG Martha is the Queen and King of Piano". We told him from where we come and he said he had appeared with the USO in SLC, UT. I told him next time he better come to Alpine WY and eat some fabulous food, drink wine and meet some cowboys! He gleefully agreed!

What a night. I love these moments. Magic. Pure Magic. I posted a young man from England on my Face Book who plays rags. He is good. Life is good. Sorry about the tomatoes in America. Means not so much salsa, Kat sup, pizza... but in my
restaurant most of my tomatoes come from MEXICO! DHHHAAAAAA!!!!

Stay close to the music. Every night 'bout 6 PM I am spending 5 minutes quietly... thinking of the planet and balancing the political messes from the bottom to the top of the globe.

I still live by my New Age Hippie mantra: LOVE AND LIGHT!

Southern Sinfonia

One of my favorite composers died today in 1953. Sergei Prokofiev. I have never, ever performed or actually learned any of his great compositions... WHY? I do know why. His music is too "close" so some hidden place within my musical mind and heart...

Tomorrow I will drive to the city of Dunedin. The Southern Sinfonia is a great Orchestra. I will hear the 3rd Piano Concerto by Prokofiev. Let us hope I do not begin pounding my thighs like I do when I hear a certain haunting theme in this master piece. I cannot spell the name of the performing pianist, but I know it will be magic.

Ever since I can remember, the sound of a symphony has spread invisible wings that can carry me to places indescribable. To me there not a more gorgeous sound than a symphony tuning... the squeaks and squawks and rumbles, then the one note... the one vibration that balances the entire ensemble!

I think I will write a book! My life inside harmonic vibrations...

Proposition 8

Once again I am venting via my blog, however this is rather alarming. I have been asked about the Proposition 8 situation in California and if it has had any impact on gay marriage within OTHER states that approve of same sex marriage. I KNOW WHY! I was born in the state of Utah and being a Mormon for the first 21 years of my life...

I am in New Zealand where same sex couples are recognized as human beings that pay honest taxes, work hard, support most up right projects with in and outside the government. (no pun intended about the UP RIGHT Projects...) So, I have been doing some serious research on line. I am stunned at the amount of money the MORMON CHURCH AND IT'S MEMBERS DONATED TO THIS INSANE PROPOSITION! OMFG! Do a google search... you will find a endless list of the names of people and organizations within California and Utah that did not give SMALL AMOUNTS OF MONEY... they GAVE ENORMOUS AMOUNTS TO THE DEATH OF THIS PROPOSITION!

Well, I did a bit more research and found something Al Sharpton said about the whole nightmare! It is worth reading and remembering.

"It amazes me when I looked at California and saw CHURCHES that had nothing to say about POLICE BRUTALITY, nothing to say when a young black boy was shot while he was wearing police handcuffs, nothing to say when they overturned affirmative action. NOTHING TO SAY WHEN PEOPLE WERE BEING DELEGATED INTO POVERTY, yet they were organizing and mobilizing to STOP consenting adults from choosing their life partners." (Sharpton told a packed audience on Jan. 11)

"There is something immoral and SICK about using all that POWER to NOT END BRUTALITY and POVERTY, but to break into people's bedrooms and claim that GOD SENT YOU." Sharpton added... "We know you're not preaching from the Bible, because IF you were preaching the BIBLE we would have heard from you."

Sharpton said, "We would have heard from you when people were STARVING in California, when they DEREGULATED THE ECONOMY and CRASHED WALL STREET, you had NOTHING TO SAY! When {alleged Ponzi schemer Bernie} Madoff made off with the money you had NOTHING TO SAY... When Bush took us to war chasing weapons of mass destruction that weren't there YOU had NOTHING TO SAY... But all of a SUDDEN WHEN PROPOSITION 8 came out YOU had so MUCH to SAY, but since you stepped in the rain, we gonna step in the rain with you!"

All I can say is: We have to call these people out for what they are. They are NEVER EVER afraid to call people faggot or threaten one's life and property with VIOLENCE. Bigot, Hypocrite, Liar and Terrorist is what these people need to be called to their FACES and in PUBLIC.

Life can be gorgeous. I am loving my life right now, but I remember HIDING, RUNNING, ESCAPING for my life.


"

"

Something to think about...

I found something on line that answered some of my questions regarding the Republican Party of 2010.
I do not care to go into deep political tirades on this blog, but silly things that are happening in the USA with
people and their political beliefs line up with so many things regarding religion and brain washing! Mind you,
Democrats are not much better!!!

1. Jesus love you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

2. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's Daddy made war on him, a good guy when Dick
Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when BOY BUSH needed a "We Can't Find Bin Laden" diversion!

3. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is COMMUNIST, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of
International Harmony.

4. A woman cannot be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational corporations can make decisions affecting
all of mankind without REGULATION!

5. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing VETERAN'S BENEFITS.

6. If condoms are kept OUT of the SCHOOLS adolescents will not have sex.

7. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies, then demand their corporations and money.

8. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is SOCIALISM!

9. HMO's and Insurance companies have the best interest of all people at heart.

10. Global Warming and the Tobacco's link to cancer are JUNK SCIENCE, but CREATIONISM should be taught in schools.

11. A President lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense.

12. A President lying to enlist support for a war in which 1,0000's die is solid defense policy.

13. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and
censoring the Internet.

14. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

15. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and crime, unless you're a CONSERVATIVE RADIO HOST. Then it's an illness and
your PRAYERS for your RECOVERY!

16. You support States' Rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell States what local voter initiatives they
have the right to adopt.

17. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960's IS of VITAL national interest (smoke pot), but what BUSH DID IN THE '80's is very very
irrelevant )SNORTING COKE AND BECOME and ALCOHOLIC)

The list can go on and on and on forever. Sometimes I wish Thomas Paine were still alive! Even Franklin would be rather
nice to read about in current events!

Will write something great about my adventures in NZ in a few days.

Sunshine has arrived

The photos say a lot. I thank my lucky stars for my many many many guardian angels. Yellow roses are one of my favorite flowers and these are from our garden her in QT. Nothing quite like Bach and Roses! The sunset last night was amazing...

Summer has at last spread it's sweet smile full of sunshine and roses upon Queenstown NZ. Today was gorgeous.

Had lunch at Gibbston Winery. Grocery shopped at the New World Market in Frankton, and did some odd purchases at The Ware House.

Fell asleep in the garden while reading a book I am enamored to. Damn, I wish I had written it. "god is not GREAT" by Christopher Hitchens. It is a book so full of truth NOT what some BELIEVE to be TRUE, but the actual FACTS about how religion poisons everything. I have forever loved Thomas Paine. What a brave and courageous statesman he was, even though the conservative right would have his name burned to hell... His "Age of Reason" along with Ayn Rand's "Atlas Shrugged" changed my life forever.

Surprise, (in my mail box today (on a Sunday?) the DHL delivered it early this morning: a book I have wanted for some time.
"A JESUIT TALE" a novel by John Shekleton. I found this used book on Amazon.com and it will be good money spent.

Yesterday I walked and walked. There is a very sacred walking path along the lake shore. The views are straight out of heaven. I observed the most amazing bird. A pelican standing so regal as if he owned the universe. I walked right up within a foot of his stance. He never ever flinched. HE STARED AT ME DIRECTLY IN MY EYES!

From there I thought I would play piano at St. Peter's but as I approached the cathedral doors music... I had forgotten that the Ensemble Festival is going on. OMG. WHAT MUSIC. A cellist, violinist and pianist making the most delicious chamber music!
Besides the musicians were all within their early thirties and they were so easy on the eyes.

I sat for over an hour listening to their rehearsal. It was very sensual as well as mysterious... I was observing something few people would or could appreciate.
I also was filled with a strange sadness... I have not ever actually performed the classical ensemble compositions of such great masters. Yes, I have always played with other musicians in a JAZZ setting, but this was something that "touched" a place in my heart that has never ever been touched!

I walked out of the church feeling JOY. The live music and the beauty of those young people's musical talents touched me beyond anything I can ever explain.

Joy for all the music I have ever made in my life so far and for the music that was created long before my life as well as for all the music that will be created after my life on earth as I know it.

Sun light and moonlight are heavenly blessings filled with music.

Still Playing my ORGAN!

Loved the recital in the restored Tabernacle. My dream as a little boy was to one day play this organ... Well, I was fortunate
to be able to study with Dr. Alexander Schriener when he was the Tabernacle Organist. It is a glorious instrument.
Had to share the photo. All organs inside our bodies as well as out side our bodies are sacred! They make beautiful music.

snow time in the alps

I awoke to snow this morning. Mind you, this is supposed to be summer weather... I know, I know, and I know, global warming but, I would still love summer to return. One thing: when the sun does come out it is hotter than the hinges of hell.

Life continues to be good. Reading, learning new music, creating new music and most of all I am healthy. I have a wonderful
vegetable garden this year. Everything is booming except for my tomatoes. Not enough sunshine... The lettuce is divine and all the herbs I cook with constantly. Made a gorgeous Italian dinner last night with fresh Basil, Rosemary, Oregano, Parsley, and
Chives from the garden.

My piano is once again my best friend and I am reading book after book. I know I should
purchase the Kendell or the Nook electronic books, but I honestly need to touch, smell, and hold paper within my hands. Most of all I underline and write in the margins of books. Kind of like music. I have precious manuscripts hand marked by teachers that are long dead, some that are world famous and two or three others that are very much alive and know my hands as well as my musical mind. It all makes for a delicious adventure in sound and color.

Tomorrow is the A&P Show at Lake Hayes. Must go regardless of weather. The Michael Hill String Festival begins this weekend.
Such stunning talent. String players will invade the town like a blessing from the heavens. Making angelic music everywhere.
Tomorrow is also the Craft Fair and Farmer's Market down town. Love those potatoes and herbs I buy at Farmer's Market.
Also, I meet up with some amazing artists at the fair. These are things I can never do in Alpine because I am working!!!

Summer time will blossom one day soon and I will no doubt not have any sun guard!

Holidays in Queenstown New Zealand

The year 2009 into the year 2010 will be a glorious year for me. A photo of my studio. Fresh pansies, an incredible crystal and a very old photograph of Percy Grainger I was given in Melborunre Australia. The painting of the pianist is by my sister, TJ. Very much in the style of Chargill... Happy New Year. More will follow...

Forgive the duplicat photos! and...

Christmas was full of joy and love this year. First of all we are all healthy except for a few people I love and adore, and those
people are in my thoughts and daily meditations as well as my prayers. You know who you are and please know that you are loved and needed...

Sorry about posting the "bad picture" twice! Dhaaaa, must mean something.

Today was "boxing day" in New Zealand. England, Canada and other parts of the world call the day after Christmas Boxing day... thus you get rid of the boxes that protected gifts.

I was given a fantastic gift. It is a a piece that goes under your fitted sheets on a bed. Made from down and some synthetic
stuff... You do not fight a lumpy mattress. It caresses your body as you sleep! Also a Pendelton 100% wool blanket. It has images of the Tetons and it came with a pillow cover! The prints are beautiful and it is so warm to sleep under. Okay, so I will spend most of my holiday in a bed sound asleep under the Tetons!

Must practice my piano for a while before bed. I am working on the beautiful Reflets dans l'eau from Images book 1 by Debussy.
Also, some Bach (Always) and trying to do a bit of oil painting... writing and walking walking walking. Love my walks.

Hope all had a glorious holiday. The New Year will be the beginning of a new year which I pray brings peace and love to the entire universe we all share and live within.

Been a rough year!

Any one that reads my blog I wish you a very happy holiday season and most of all laughter, love and light in the new year.
Will write soon.

Pictures or New Orleans 9th Dist. Absent minded Brent and Central Park.

New Orleans, Central Park

I thank my lucky stars...

Everything was flowing like honey... smoothly. We printed out our boarding passes on Southwest Air, checked luggage and had ample time to rest, play on computer, drink coffee. Checked the gate number C-18, but we did not have the 'over 60' eye glasses on and read the gate number as C-13. Yes, we sat there writing e mails and catching up on news. Flight was called... Flight such and such leaving from gate C-13 for SEATTLE WA!!!!!!!!!!!! Nearly died. Read the boarding pass: Gate C 18 for LAX!

Ah, we missed the flight! Southwest had us on a plane to Las Vegas then into LAX within 5 minutes. Everyone on the Las Vegas flight were starring at us like we were the dumb asses that we are. Landed in Las Vegas, then flew into LAX. Once in LAX everything was great.

Air New Zealand is next door to Southwest Air Lines, so no need to walk miles to INTERNATIONAL TERMINAL. Walked down to baggage claim and realized I had left my backpack on the seat in the security section. OMFG! I could not get back into the secured Southwest area. First of all I had NO ID. My backpacks are like limbs on my torso. The backpack had my Mac Computer, my Cell Phones, ALL OF MY BLESSED MONEY, ALL OF MY IDENTIFICATION: PASSPORTS, DRIVER LICENSE, CREDIT CARDS, BANK NUMBERS AND ALL OF MY CONTACT INFORMATION AS WELL AS MY CHECK BOOK. My heart turned to stone and dropped like a missile to the bottom of my feet. I ran hysterically into the check in area for Air New Zealand.

A gorgeous black woman was helping people through the lines... nudging them gently along. She immediately picked up on my angst.
"Can I help you sir, you seemed distressed" "Lady you have NOT a CLUE about HOW DISTRESSED I AM!" I proceeded to explain my predicament. She told me to stay where I was and she would go up to the gate and see IF she could retrieve my backpack.

The minutes went by like hours. I thought she would NEVER, EVER, RETURN TO WHERE I WAS STANDING wringing my hand and looking out the sliding glass doors that open onto a busy street. I thought to myself: "This is it! Simply walk out that door and wait for a roaring bus, step in front of it and end this entire drama."

My 'Black Princess' arrived by my side. She asked IF, possibly there was something in the side pocket of my backpack. I blurted out a hyper YES! a banana. With the word banana she handed my by backpack with everything still inside it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I know why some people pee their pants when they are happy beyond words.)

This is the second time in my life a black woman has saved me from killing myself!

Once in NYC when I was about 21 I took a train up into the Cloisters for a rehearsal. I got on the subway and after what seemed hours I was the ONLY WHITE MAN ON THE TRAIN. I was in in Harlem. Back then the subways were VERY SEEDY and many bad things happened to people that were in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Looking out the window of the train I read "HARLEM". I got off the train and to an extremely naive Mormon boy all I could see was an ocean of eyes and teeth! My body began to shake. A black woman was on my right side dressed in a red wool coat and hat. She clutched my hand, leaned into my ear and said: "Boy, you be LOST???!!!) I nodded a feeble yes as visions of my standing naked in a boiling cauldron drifted through my brain. She gripped my hand harder and said for me to follow her.
Then, I really thought it was over. I wanted to cry, I could not stop shaking and it was time in my short life that I honestly experienced the meaning of being "helpless." (I have a marvelous painting in my bedroom by a wonderful artist titled
that very word: HELPLESS!)

She walked me under the tracks to the other side of the rails and said: "You gotta go back into Manhattan boy! You get on the first train going this way." I said "thank you Mame, but please, oh please don't leave me until that train arrives..." She held onto my hand and within minutes the train arrived.

To this day I bless that woman. She knew how frightened I was and I am sure she had been frightened the same way somewhere sometime in her lifetime.

I so wish I had asked her name and address. I would have sent her roses for as long as I had enough money... The same situation applies with the beautiful black woman in LAX. I did not get her name or a contact number! She saved me from a terrible mess.

I did not sleep on the flight from LAX to Auckland NZ. I even took sleeping pills, two glasses of wine, tried to listen to music and meditated. Simply too tired from all the DRAMA.

I know there are "drama Kings and Queens" but I can usually hold my own amid any situation, however... this time my mind kept playing scenes from years and years ago regarding how many times a person has helped me sail through a predicament beyond my control! Our lives are watched over by many many forces.
I do thank my lucky stars for my guardian angels!

Antelope Island... Tabernacle... New Zealand

Arrived in Auckland November 30th. Loving each and every breath I take in this wonderful place. Still getting the house set up with groceries, digging belongings out of storage that need to be placed in drawers, on walls, in cupboards... gardens look great.
Our Land Lady set up a veggie garden for me! Russian Red Tomatoes, Blood Beets, herbs, all kinds of lettuces. Roses are in bloom and the pansies are grinning from ear to ear. My studio is up and running so lots of music, practicing, reading and messing around on my computer. I do love my MacBook Pro. The ONLY way to GO!

I grew up near the shores of the Great Salt Lake which is the largest natural lake west of the Mississippi River. The lake is a remnant of pre-historic Lake Bonneville, which covered more than 20,000 square miles during the Ice Age. Four distint shorelines from the lake may be seen from Antelope Island and include Bonneville, Provo, Stnsbury and Gilbert. Great Salt Lake is currently 75 miles long by 28 miles wide covering 1,700 square miles. At this level, maximum depth is about 33 feet. Size and depth vary greatly with seasonal evaporation and precipitation. Salinity level ranges between four and 28 percent compared to the ocean at three percent.

When I was a little kid in grade school we were taught to observe the LINES the lake had made upon the Wasatch Range. There were actual horizontal lines along the face of the mountains east of the lake. Recorded depths of the lake on the mountains as it evaporated, altered it's levels beginning in the ice age.

One of my favorite natural events of every day life are SUNSETS. They haunt me like mountains. As a child and later young man I never missed a sunset over the Great Salt Lake and Antelope Island. Antelope Island is in the middle of the lake. I've seen lightening strike the island and set it into flames! The Island comprises 28,022 acres, and is 15 miles long and 4.5 miles across at it's widest point. Frary Peak is the highest point on the island at, (get this) 6,596 feet above sea level. Get high up there without the help of drugs!

The oldest rocks on Antelope Isaland are some of the oldest found anywhere on earth! The Farmington Canyon comples, at 2.7 billion years old, is older than rocks found at the bottom of the Grand Canyon. These rocks, which are banded and controrted, comprise the sounthern two-thirds of the island. Antelope Isaland has 40 major freshwater springs found primarily on the east side of the island. These springs produce 36 million gallons ofr water each year that support the wildlife and vegetation on the island. Birds, Bison, Coyotes, Pronghorn fawns and bighorn sheep and yes, Antelope call this island HOME!

When the state of Utah built the first road from Syracuse Ut to the Island it was a gravel road. Often washed out. When the water erupts into white caps, the water is so heavy it can CRUSH, SMASH AND DESTROY anything in it's path! There were times I slept on the island and spent days alone hiking from end to end. Oolitic sand is unique to the island. These are round grains of sand that are formed when mineral grains of brine shrimp fecal pellets are coated by concentric layers of aragonite, a form of calcium carbonate. This is similar to how perals are formed. In the yearly 70's I hiked to the west side of the island. I was stunned at the sugar white beaches... glistening white diamonds of light. It was Oolitic sand!

My afternoon on the island was very emotional. Seeing how it has evolved into a State Park and yet the austire, aloof beauty and peace this island emmits is awesome! There are 8 magor islands in the lake, but Antelope is the diamond of islands.

Moving along, I and a friend drove to SLC to hear and see the Tabernacle Organ on Temple Square. I studied with Dr. Alexander Schriner when I was 11-12 years old. He taught in the Asembly Hall early on Saturday mornings I took a Lake Shore Bus from Sunset Utah into SLC. Walked over to Temple Square and had a hour lesson with the Greatest Tabernacle Organist ever to touch a keyboard!

The Tabernacle is an acoustic wonder of the world. It was also built with leather tongs holding many things in place and of course it was not built to withstand earth quakes. Thus, the Mormon Church has restored it and made it beautiful. I remember sitting inside this musical wonder of a building listening to the USO, daily recitals, and other events such as when President JFK came to UTAH!!!!!!! I used to place my feet on the floor, sqweeze my butt to the bench and revel in the vibrations the organ made, most of all when the organist would place his feet on the Bombard Pedals. OMG, my entire soul soared to heaven and I promised myself that I would one day be a Tabernacle Organist! They are doing the daily organ recitals again!

After a day of so many exciting and hauting events I crawled into bed and thanked God for my past life! Then to think I am so blest as to be able to come NZ. This is my 21st year!

Will write more later...

November 6,2009

November 5th marked exactly one year since I was operated on for cancer and other problems. A year ago I did not really care if I lived or died. I was that ill. I weighted 139 pounds. I looked like hell and felt worse than hell.

Yesterday I walked back into my "Green Cathedral" where I could tune into nature and thank the universe for all of my blessings.

Something caught my eye, in over 20 years of walking through these woods I have never noticed this amazing old apple tree. All it's leaves had fallen to the ground along with some very ripe apples. It was honestly a sight to behold. This tree which looks liked a broken umbrella all decorated in ornaments of different hues in reds, yellows, pinks and greens.

I reached up into the boughs and picked an apple. Polished it's skin to a brilliant sheen, then carefully took a bite out of this forbidden fruit!
It was delicious. I sat on the ground and leaned my back up against the trunk of the apple tree... then it happened, the most beautiful sound in the world... a symphony of birds. All the cedar and pine trees were full of choirs singing individual melodies yet all in symphony with each other's personal composition! The sky was pale blue and low rain clouds scudded by as the wind picked up tempo. I simply could not move. I sat there beside the tree eating it's gifts, rain drops kissing my head, neck and shoulders as I watched the wind and birds all fly away toward the west.

I had a marshal arts teacher that claimed eating a fresh peach could clear one's mind and body of all kinds of negative vibrations.
Well, I have found that a true organic apple, rain drops and bird song can fill one with unexplainable peace and joy.

September Song

"Oh, it's a long long time from May till September..."

The words and melody to this classic song will never die. Like the song, The Autumn Leaves... I love that melody.
When I sit alone at the keyboard and allow my musical muses to play my fingers I invariably play "The Autumn Leaves fall by my window, the autumn leaves of red and gold..."
I have written about the Autumn Season many times within this blog and some that follow the blog know of my mysterious love for this time of the year.

Yes, I survived my summer of waking between 6 or 6:30 AM and going to sleep around midnight 24/7. Each morning the alarm jolts me out of slumber. I stagger to my sacred place, hit the green button on my Mr. Coffee Maker and turn my chair toward the eastern sky. After the first sips of java, I take in the morning star, the last traces of moonlight and watch first light blanket the earth... Then don my chef's cooking jacket, plop my battered ball cap on my sleep encrusted hair. Splash cold water on the face, brush teeth and open my journal. Write what memories remain from my dreams, plans for the day or random thoughts that float around inside mind...

The morning walk to the business is always refreshing. The symphony of the birds filling the fresh morning air is the most thrilling music one can ever hear.

Closed the business Oct. 4, 2009. Since then lots of cleaning, organizing and falling in love with my piano all over again!
I have played piano for at least an hour every day or evening since we closed.

I will fly to New Orleans on November 10. Spend three nights with my sister Teresa. Then fly into NYC. Visit my piano teachers. Seymour Bernstein and Carol Montparker. Walk the streets of a city that doesn't sleep taking in everything from Central Park, concerts and some unexpedted adventures. Will also start writing my blogs again! I know, I should be on Face Book and whats that other new thing? Well, blogger.com will still be my home for a few more years!

I walked up the Snake River Canyon yesterday afternoon. My legs keep reminding me! When I got out of bed this morning they were screaming at me! They are used to standing up to 14 hours and walking within my kitchen space, but not balancing on rocks and uneven terrain! The leaves were gorgeous and of course sunlight on the water!

It's good to be back with my computer. I tunes, E mails and learning so much about everything possible. More to follow in a few days.

Summer Time

Finally SUNSHINE... The moon is 8% full. A precious crest hanging in the western sky. We have had nothing but rain and more rain even more rain...

Today was one of the first times we have filled the patio for lunch. Beautiful weather. The Iris are in full bloom. The perfume from Iris is divine. Peonies are bending to the ground with their huge buds. We just finished the last of the lilacs but the wild flowers have been breath taking. Lark Spur and lots of Red Rockets. The sage brush are in blossom as well as the wild geraniums. Thus summer has finally spread it's wide smile across the rocky mountains. The Lupin we planted years ago are beginning regally show their majestic towers. Honey bees love their petals. These lupin are at least 19 years old!

I am well. Monday I endured another surgical procedure! But, the bladder is clean, the prostate is now fixed and no cancer any where to be found. Just possibly I will be back on the road again. LOVING and ENJOYING every moment of life. I am working morning, afternoon and evenings. I LOVE IT. I even play my piano every day. Reading lots of books before I fall into dreams.

Will write soon and hopefully the summer will prove to be one of the best ever even with the economic problems.
Must go out and gaze at the moon.

Last night the rain spoke to me...

I have used the title of this blog before... Last night the rain did speak to me!

Rain is a very sacred sound created by playing upon the instrument called earth. Every raindrop is like a note of music.
Last night the rain was sporadic. Heavy with sound, then suddenly it would stop leaving bars of long rests and resonating echos of it's drumming symphony. Then ever so gently it would begin tapping and sighing against the glass, the roof, dancing on the cement and rocks or quietly cascading into the grass and gardens.

I was busy helping close the house, packing bags, cleaning... all the last 25 items that MUST be done before leaving the country.
Most important: pass ports, credit cards, flight numbers, cell phones. (I have two phones. A Vodafone when I am out of the USA and a Verizon when I am in the States.) Chargers for I Pod, remember all the cables to computers, phones and KEYS.
Keys are very
important as they open the doors in New Zealand and they open the doors in WY.

Now that I am in my early 60's I have this array of drugs and supplements to pack into my kit of toilet items, the hassle of putting the one oz. bottles of gels and liquids in the plastic bag for inspection.

Closing a house is a big
job. Everything from shutting off power and water to making sure there are no food items, trash, or windows and doors left ajar!

Early in the evening I enjoyed a delicious dinner at the Boardwalk. One of my favorite restaurants. The food is perfect, but the chairs! Ah, I could sit in the chairs all night! Finally around midnight I fell into a fitful sleep. Up at 6 AM flying around the house in order to finish the final tasks. Taxi was on time for the ride to the air port. We arrived at Qantas, checked in the luggage and it was NOT over the limit.

I was feeling strung out... very tired. Then the intercom announced that the flight to Auckland had been cancelled due to heavy cloud cover and rain! I grabbed my Vodafone. Called the 0800 number, re-scheduling for tomorrow. Finally retrieved the luggage, made the new flight arrangements and back to the house! THANK
GOD FOR THIS HOUSE AND YES, I HAD THE KEYS TO THE DOOR! Broad band was still in service, the telephones were still on.
I threatened my two companions with their lives: "DO NOT SO MUCH AS FART because I have made myself sick getting this place in tip top shape!"
It was surreal to be driving up to a house which only a few hours ago you had "CLOSED".

We usually depart from NZ on April 28th, this year we were leaving on the 27th because of flight situations. Well, the pattern has not been broken! Sunshine is forecast for tomorrow the 28th of April. (Mind you, when I am in NZ I am in the future. Even though I fly out of NZ on the 28th of April I am going back in time and will arrive in LAX on the 28th of April. When ever I call the USA I have to realize the fact: I am a day and 4 to 6 hours ahead of where I calling!

The rain was singing all kinds of ancient earthen chants last night. Some where listened to very deep within my heart as I sensed we would not board the flight from Queenstown to Auckland.
My dreams were everywhere. From 2 AM until 4 AM I was awake... I laid listening to the rain and finally I lifted myself out of bed, walked outside and inhaled the scent of rain. I once read about a child that claimed rain was the odor of heaven. She may have been spot on.

In the early 70's I used to drive my VW Bug from Ogden Ut. to Denver Colorado to stay with a friend for up to a week. Driving across the WY desert can be a celestial experience or long hours of fighting off sleep. Often I would see rain clouds charging across the sky and drive directly into a cloud burst of glorious percussion from the mallets of rain drops. I'd stop the car, jump out and run through the sage brush and wild flowers.
Most clouds were so intimidating and yet so full of blessings I sensed no fear, only dampness and clean air and water!

There were times I simply drove into the desert and stripped naked... (I could do it without a thought when I was in my 20's)
and lay on the ground as the rain baptized my flesh, blood and spirit. I do believe in four sacred things: Water, Air, Fire and Earth. They all are my 4 in 1, they express peace and harmony to my life.

I will not be blogging for a few weeks. Enjoy the winter rains in the Pacific Islands, or the Spring rains in the USA and Canada.
(Scandinavia, Europe, Russia, China the list goes on and on...)

Spring is a reminder of our own birth... Remember: it is not 3 in 1, it is 4 in 1.

Autumn Leaves of Paper Notes...

Most days I walk into the Center of the Village... I then have a cup of strong black coffee at any of many coffee houses.

I do have my favorites. "The Halo", "The Forge", "Books". With coffee I will have a salad or toasted sandwich. From the coffee house I walk to the Alpine Market. (Not the Alpine Market in WY!) The one in QT, NZ that was once called 4 Square. I purchase items for dinner.Greens, vegetables, breads, cheese, sometimes wine, but I prefer to purchase wine from Henry's.

Then I do "MY RAMBLE". I walk about town. I sit and watch people... I listen to sounds, I search the sky for signs within the heavens. Sometimes I write music, or I write in my Journal. I even sketch in the pages of my journal. Most days I go to the local gym and work on the rowing machine, light weights and stretching.

After all these tasks I will step inside St. Peter's Anglican Church. I have mystical respect for churches, cathedrals, synagogues. I cannot ever simply rush into such buildings. I sneak humbly into the bowels of such great architecture. After entering the doors I tip toe up to the baby grand piano. Lift my musical scores out of my back pack and the music maybe everything from Bach, Beethoven, Brahms, Debussy, even Rachmaninoff. I place my "piano/computer" glasses upon my nose. Lift the desk of the piano and lightly brush my hands over the keys... I look at the light the stained glass windows refract across the alter... I smell lilies, roses, what ever flower arrangement the ladies of the Church have created... then I make music.

Most days I am in the chapel from one o clock until three o clock... I play the baby grand piano, I make mistakes, I correct the errors, I LISTEN to myself with ears I have only recently discovered. I find melodies hidden inside harmonies, I make notes to myself but most of all I actually enjoy what I am doing.

During my practice time many people, from construction workers to physicians and most of all tourists walk in and out of the church from all over the world. There are times they will burst into an enthusiastic applause or walk quietly up to the piano and stand watching me play. I have always had a habit of being "OUT THERE" when I am playing or practicing so after I have played a composition like Clair de lune, I softly let my hands rise from the keyboard and slowly let go of the damper pedal until the very last trace of sound can be heard. Then the person standing beside the piano awakens me into consciousness.
Most times I do not know what they are saying as I am NOT gifted in languages, but I do read body language and the cosmic vibrations of emotion.

It is autumn in New Zealand. Leaves are falling, colder nights, frost in the mornings. I love the fall time. Sometimes when I am practicing, or simply think I am performing I have a feeling, a sensation that someone is listening! I never look out into the pews... I want to savour the feeling of being heard and adored!

When I am finally spent and feel I must leave I rise up, dust the piano keys with the palms of my hands, lay back the desk and cover the keyboard. I then lay the quilted blanket of forest green over the entire piano to protect it from heat. Cold air will not harm a piano, direct heat is as lethal as the jaws from hell on pianos. I then place my music into my backpack, take off my "computer/piano" eye glasses and rise up from the piano bench where my body has become so entrenched with comfort!

Then I see them!............. The little scraps of paper on the carpet floor around the piano! Like fallen leaves they have drifted from people's hearts and hands... The notes say things I cannot define. Some are printed in typical European hand writing. "Thank you for the music! This has been one of the many highlights of my trip!" Others are written in Chinese! Some in Japanese.

I have many that are written in French. A few days ago a very famous German Artist came by the church. He and his wife wrote the note in English: "GOOD FOOD. We will reclaim the time with your piano in years from now." Okay, music is the food of love! but, reclaiming?
One person left a torn piece of paper from a grocery bag: "I come here day after day and bless the days you play. I cry the days your not playing piano..." Someone wrote a clever note: "If you had dedicated yourself more to the piano you would not be playing in a tiny church in New Zealand!"
Well, I had to admit I should and could have worked harder at playing the piano, but I cherish the times am able to play piano in New Zealand or anywhere in the universe.

The people cannot see my face as I am playing. They only HEAR, FEEL and IMAGINE who and what I am.

The ultimate was written on the back side of a business card from someplace in Arabia. They used very good English hand writing skills: "If you make love as well as you play piano I envy the person that has your hands and body against them all through the day or night!" This person did not see my face or body!

Being 62 can be very lonely because everyone is in transition... I however enjoy the fact I have a "PAST", I have a "FUTURE" and I have endured many THINGS and hope to endure ALL THINGS.

The Autumn Leaves fall by my window, the autumn leaves of red and gold. The sunburned hands the kiss of summer, the autumn leaves fall one by one... (words to the song) but my autumn leaves have been kind notes written on scraps of paper from very young souls to very old souls. Some have hearts that have broken in half, hearts that have been healed, lives that are just beginning to reach out to the sky, earth and inside parts of both dimensions. Some of these leaves have been written by very wise and ancient hearts that are looking forward to the moment of crossing over into the void of eternal bliss.

Every human being is a musical note. Be it a 64th or 8th or whole note... it has a beat, a reason for seeking harmony and wants it's voice to be heard. When I went to NYC to study piano I had FOUND MY VOICE I simply wanted to know how to use it! We are all players in a celestial symphony.

April 1, 2009 I attended the opening concert for the winter season of the NZSO. I did not care for the first piece. The Barber Violin Concerto was marvelous. Performed by Cho-liang Lin. The Wagner Tristan and Isolde: An Orchestral Passion. Well, I am not a lover of Wagner. But, never the less live music is blessed. When I listen to a symphony tuning... I get chills. It is as if I am hearing the entire universe coming together as one vibration... A 440? As Edna St. Vincent Millay wrote after hearing a symphony by Beethoven: " Sweet sounds, oh, beautiful music, do not cease! Reject me not into the world again."

I thank my lucky stars for my musical leaves, of every emotion and color.

One Year Ago...

A year ago I was in The Mercy Hospital undergoing surgery for a left knee replacement. Months later I would be in Jackson Hole WY at St. John's Hospital for the removal of a cancer in my left kidney ...

Days ago I was in the Gold Coast with one of my soul mates enjoying 4 days and nights of walking on beaches, sunsets, sunrises and fabulous food and wine... Two years ago my friend and I did part of Rail Trail... but I never thought I would ever do another walk on the wild side... Rutha was gentle with me.
Easy walks and long talks.

I am at home in Queenstown and loving autumn. Some hot days, some cold days, lots of rain then dry weather. If, anyone is interested( that possibly follows my blog) you must see VERBIER FESTIVAL HIGHLIGHTS OF 2007. Wonderful! Also, I just returned home from viewing the movie "Slum dog Millionaire"... Just possibly the academy has been spot on with a movie.

Will write a long blog soon...

Birthdays... Deathdays...

February has always been a special month.

It signifies LOVE and we celebrate LOVE on February 14th because of a certain Saint having the name of Valentine! I think we should celebrate in some 'secret way' Christmas and Valentines everyday of our very very very short lifetimes, but, of course we don't!

I have no regard for politicians, therefore, I do not recognize George Washington's or Abe Lincoln's Birth dates, they just happen to have Birthdays that occurred during the month of February! I do think of one of my Grandmother's who's Birthday is in February.

DEATHS:

Every year I light a candle and play a piece on the piano for Percy Grainger. He died on February 20th 1961. When he died I was 15 years old. I loved his solo arrangements for piano of the great concerto themes and his folk tunes!

He was a handsome man, very much into WALKING, HIKING and HE ARDENTLY defended Crowell during that horrible episode of bigotry during the 50's against gays. Gay people were looked upon as the lowest of mankind! I am a most privileged pianist in the fact, that I was given an entire afternoon alone in his museum.
NO ONE ELSE was in the museum in Melbourne OZ. Yep, Percy was born in the land of OZ! He was a role model for me. I have a wee photo of him at the piano framed in pewter that I carry with me when I travel.

BIRTHDAYS:

Another great person was born on February 22, 1892. Edna St. Vincent Millay. This woman was and still is a role model for me. She was an amazing woman and her talent still rings with truth and magic! She died when she was 57. Her mother gave birth to her in the state of Maine 117 years ago!

Another shinning light and guide in my life as well as so many musicians seeking to FIND THEIR PLACE in the world of making music at the piano is a woman in NY. Carol Montparker.
She celebrated her 70th birthday Thursday February 19, 2009, and what a celebration! She performed a recital in the Weill Recital Hall at Carnegie Hall, NYC. May she have many many more years of sharing and giving the gift of music.

Since I was 5 years old I was fortunate to find "my voice" the piano. I simply have always wanted to know HOW TO USE IT!
Percy, Edna, Carol, Virginia, Seymour, James, Frederic, Alex, Dorothy, Mary and my grandmothers and ever so many other TEACHERS from many other places have helped show me HOW to USE MY VOICE: The silver sound of a piano!

Fires

Australia is an amazing Continent, Island, what ever... (they never really tell you what they think they are land wise!) It is the same size as the USA lacking about 16 miles. The recent movie titled AUSTRALIA is a long long movie, but worth a view... It expresses the stoic strong soul of Aussies...

In 1988 Yellowstone was in flames... it truly was a terrible year. (It was also a DADDY BUSH YEAR! GO FIGURE!) Pine trees have "sap" from which turpentine is made ... it also has so many other wonderful healing elements. Pine nuts are one of the natural "nuts" loaded with protein. The Italians knew the tiny white nuts were of value. Pine nuts are one of the sacred parts of a great PESTO!

OZ is burning up and down! also drowning in floods... Like America. Hot, cold, wet, dry, as the Bible says, You will not know one season from the other!

Actually it is the earth evolving in her own progression as a living being. This spaceship we live on is cleaning house and developing some "NEW PARADISES... PLACES... PEOPLE..." Lots of humans like to think we are controlled by a God that JUDGES... well we are what we are and what we are is energy.

More stories begin tonight as it is raining and cold in QT New Zealand. This drop in the barometric pressure always sets my creative cells into motion... musically or written words... sometimes color, painting... I do not dance well in the rain anymore.

Secrets are escaping from the hidden chambers of my heart and mind that I thought I had buried years ago. Guess what? They are not bad memories, they are what has made me a person!

Ensemble

ENSEMBLE

An "ensemble" is when a group of musicians, dancers or actors come together in concert. It could also mean "assemble"? Bringing together people that will make something beautiful, good, possibly something so very devastating it could destroy the universe! I believe that "ensemble work" is a major learning experiences for any pianist. Why? Because, pianists are truly solo musicians. They have an entire galaxy of sound at their finger tips. Pianists also suffer incredible doubts, fears and ego problems that many times can isolate them from other musicians. Accompanists MUST give and take, share kindness that enhances one purpose: MUSIC! Many parts becoming one and the one being many parts that are separate yet all in one.

In the late 60's I was asked to be the pianist for a Musical Review called "HIGH FEVER FOLLIES". It was a community fund raising project that would create an "ensemble" of local people who within a short time frame of about two weeks would produce a variety show of comedy, dancing, singing backed by a small orchestra for the performance. The sponsor of the production was an Auxiliary from the Saint Benedict's Hospital. They were women who belonged to most local clubs, Junior League, MacDowell Society, Literary Club, The Symphony Guild... People who's names and faces you would see and read about in the "SOCIETY" section of the Sunday edition of the daily newspaper.

Cargill Productions was a theatrical company in NYC. They hired out a "package" a show with director, costumes, musical scores most everything that a fund raising organization could use to make money by producing a show from local talent.
I signed the contract. I would be the rehearsal pianist, which translated into many long hours at the piano of which I did not mind. Little did I know that out of this experience I would meet some of the most lasting and meaningful friends, love affairs and learning paradigms that would last through out my life time.

The person that asked me "if" there was a possibility I would take on the job was a lovely woman but, I sensed some kind of desperation within her energy. She was possibly 10 years older than me. She told me she had four children, loved music. She was a Catholic and had worked with various charity organization within the community.
She had dark auburn hair, a very athletic body. I could tell by her mannerisms and speech She was most definitely not born or raised in the state of Utah.

Previous to my meeting with her, I had seen her at a Utah Symphony Concert. The night of that concert she wore a long gown of dark greens and blacks accented with silver jewelry. (NO GOLD?)

During the intermission she stepped outside to smoke a cigarette. I being a smoker observed the way she held her cigarette. She radiated perfect health and her fingernails were not painted. They were hands that do things... possibly play piano, garden, cook... Little did I know that months later she would meet me in the parking lot of the local College and ask me to work with her in the Follies. This meeting was the embryo of a friendship that would last from that day into my forever. This woman became a guardian angel in my personal as well as musical life.

Most of the musicians were people I knew or had heard of... We had enough instrumentalists , but we were desperate for a drummer. I called the music department at the College. There was a young man who had been made the head of the "Percussion Dept." REALLY? Never heard of such a department at Weber State College... I called him. Yes, he would come to a rehearsal and see if the times, dates and most of all, the pay worked within his hectic schedule.

The "Percussionist" arrived at rehearsal. A gorgeous man. Dark wavy hair,
mustache that matched the hair on his head. Glasses, and beautiful hands. Soft shiny dark hair on the tops of his fingers and furry arms. Could I possibly have know this man in another lifetime?

He moved his drums into the orchestra pit. He set up behind the grand piano on my left hand side. He asked if the piano could be turned slightly so he could see my hands. The first time he made a cymbal crash I felt the heat of a 1000 shards of sweet painful glass explode through my veins. He did not read the sloppy scores, he WATCHED my every move at the key board and anticipated the movements of my body, hands and mind in perfect sync.

He was a walking, breathing, talking symphony orchestra. My musical life had found a soul mate.

I discovered years ago, when I was 5 years old, That to be 'adored' would become one of the most addictive drugs I could have ever imagined. It was a craving far more potent than alcohol or pot would ever become in my lifetime.

In 1968 my picture was everywhere because of a musical review wherein I was the featured pianist. When I would walk down State Street in SLC people looked at me. They smiled at me. I would glance and see them whispering.
For some unexplainable reason I thought I had "star quality"... The drug of being ADORED soared through every vessel of my body.

Drummer Boy and I became very close friends. We used to have dinner at an Italian restaurant where they served beer. I hate beer. I loved Vodka. He drank beer, I drank coffee while eating pizza. I watched every move he made. The way he held a can of beer. The way he leaned over the table as he talked while holding a fork in his hand. The way he would lean his head back and laugh...

He told me stories about his life. He witnessed his father die of a heart attack when Drummer Boy was like 5 years old. He was raised by his grandparents. He had a voice that was between a baritone and a tenor... His voice was recorded into the canyons of my mind where voices are imprinted forever... the voices that echo deep within your DNA and you never forget. he loved cats... he would confide in me events that had occurred through out his day being a young college professor. I'd listen, but my mind would be all over the place thinking: how I could MAKE this MAN WANT ME! I need this certain "FIX"!

I had never experienced a PERCUSSION RECITAL. He was presenting a FACULTY RECITAL. He asked IF I wanted to accompany the last half of the recital because it would feature his skill playing Xylophone and required piano accompaniment. I attempted learning the music, but I declined. In part, because I simply could not discipline myself to learn the music and I felt that the new woman who had been given the position as HEAD OF THE PIANO DEPT. should be the one playing this concert. I thought over and over: "How will such a musical recital be received by people that honestly did not understand percussive sounds or how they were set into motion.

In the 70's and 80's anyone that knew me had to know my Land Lady. She had the telephone. She screened my calls and when I was gone for weeks at a time took care of my check book. She was my secretary, PR representative and protector! She adored Drummer Boy!

The night of the concert was magic. The Theater was filled with musicians as well as artists, dancers and people from the drama department.

The stage props were drums, gongs, bells and more chimes and drums. A maze of brass, silver, glinted slants of light reflecting from surfaces, like flesh, waiting to be touched, struck against, brushed... set into motion. The lights dimmed. He walked onto the stage looking amazingly handsome and confident. Two energies all men seek and envy. He was in his 'element', he knew the secret of being 'adored'... being the creator of something magical gave him complete power: star quality. At times I have compared performers of music to Porno Stars... They are beautiful men and women, but have something other people do not possess: A MAGNIFICENT INSTRUMENT that can amaze and give life to the imagination... fantasy made reality.

He moved like a classically trained ballet dancer yet something so mystically balanced between heaven and earth gave flight to his every breath. Reaching, bending, sliding, stepping, arms conducting like an eagle in flight. It was a sensuous dance from some place beyond words. Every person in the audience felt it, swam in it's transparent star waters... One did not "LISTEN" they BECAME PART OF THE MOMENT! Forever, one must remember: There are no ordinary moments. The sound unlocked hidden ideas, thoughts, the stuff angels and cherub's silken midnight sperms are made of!

Xylophone and piano were gorgeous. The Fantasie Impromptu by Chopin being one of my favorite expressions in sound. The Saber Dance by Khathuturian was dynamic. This arm of the program was reaching out to the the heart's of many people in the audience who did not understand or care to listen to the cacophony of sounds that the percussive instruments breathed life into and touched the hidden secrets of their DNA. The Xylophone and piano gave peace and rest to those that dared not go where angels never tread.

The piano and Xylophone were bliss to my heart and soul. Piano was the silver sound that I had felt and touched with my heart and soul from my infancy and hopefully to the end of my mortal life.

The event came to an end. People stood, they talked, they moved... My Land lady and I sat... I like entrances. I would know when the time was right for us to walk on the stage and embrace the artist. From that moment on into eternity he belonged to my "Private Club". He was one of my celestial siblings.

Many people have walked in and out of my life for decades. Some still sing their songs to me in dreams. At times when I am walking or meditating I hear their voices. I know they live within my heart.

Drummer Man played percussion on my first LP recording. It was a great success.
After 1979 I suffered some very difficult times economically as well as mentally. In 1980 I began a journey on a spiritual path that to this very day I am still pursuing. Many of my closest friends died in the 70's and 80's. I became a recluse. I suffered unexplainable depression. I disappeared in numerous bottles of Vodka... I drifted "in and out" of reality.

Drummer Boy moved. He was out of my life and living on a different stage. Eventually I moved. Different lighting, different make up and different theater.
I decided to make a new recording. I called him asking IF there was a possibility he would share his magic in the creation of this musical endeavor. He said YES!

I had composed a piece of music in three parts. "The Other Side Of Time". I dedicated it to a person I love with all my heart. Everything fell into place except this original piece.
I laid down the piano and string lines before leaving the piece for the engineer to perform a re-mix. Anything to make it sound musical.

Unknown to me,Drummer Boy returned to the studio on his own accord and completely orchestrated "The Other Side of Time"... He literally married my piano to a cosmic pulse that finalized the composition's final breath onto cellophane! Cassette tape.

I learned a most delicate and fragile lesson from that recording.

Love is given in many different ways and Drummer Boy gave me the greatest expression of his sincerest love: HE MADE ME SOUND FABULOUS! There is no greater love... especially for someone that has to be adored.

Ensemble

Full Moon... Summer...

The fullness, the abundance and energy of moon light was divine. Last night marked the 1st full moon of 2009, but when the moon is FULL, BRIGHT, ROUND AS A PERIL OUT OF HEAVEN'S OCEAN I really don't count day by day the degrees that it is blossoming or decreasing in size... main thing: It is the same moon that has been there for eons.

I know all the people I have loved and never met in the flesh gazed on that same moon! I know many people that have crossed over in my lifetime and they too exchanged light and energy with the moon!

January 2009 has proven to be a magical year so far. One thing I do appreciate is my I Pod. I also use I tunes every night and day.

I listen to Classical music on a station that comes out of Laramie Wyoming! I cannot receive a tight connection with this PBS station when I AM IN WYOMING! but, here at the bottom of planet earth I have PERFECT RECEPTION. It is a wonderful station.
KYUW Classical 91. So, I have a part of Wyoming inside my ears most of the time!

Speaking of the moon, one has to be humbled thinking that in 1604 Galileo observed for the first time, the heaven's through a telescope!
Just think what he would see today! The International Space Station! The Hubble telescope... the Mar's Rover, just think only 400 years ago the Catholic Church tried to BURN Galileo because of the things he was seeing with his telescope. At last, most people are finally accepting WHERE WE LIVE WITHIN THE UNIVERSE, THE MILKY WAY!

Finished an interesting book last night. "Running With Scissors", by Augsten Burroughs. I have always been suspicious of psychiatrists. I have known a few in my lifetime and the results have been frightening. Not adding the medications, endless hours of talking and the Doctor does not banter back and forth in the conversations... HE LISTENS! The book is worth a read because of the humor as well as the tragic subject matter that created Augsten's childhood.

I am so pleased to be able to walk down the steep paths into the village and then walk UP the steep paths that lead to our house. For two years I have had a hell of time walking because of pain... well, today I went to Simon the Physio therapist. He is from England. Young and beautiful. He has stretched my legs and relaxed the stress inside my lower back to the place it was before I had the kidney removed! The Laying on of Hands. My masseuse, Sonja, has healing powers and almost every Thursday she kneads my gnarly body until it is pliant as bread dough.

I am living a life of bliss. I get up when I want and I go to bed when I want. I work in the gardens, then lay down in the sunlight. I bake bread, I create meals, I play my piano, I take long hot baths in Epsom salts and I am feeling like myself once again. OMG, I will probably explode into one of those obese, eccentric queens that wear long gowns and have sea shell glass frames... lots of grease on their faces and droopy eye lids... NOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo!

2008 was a rough year. Lots of LESSONS that had to be learned or put aside until another lifetime. The numbers 2 and 9 are powerful numbers which are in the equation 2009 and they = 11= a MASTER NUMBER!

We have a new President in the United States... He might end up being the same thing with a different mask? We are entering a new paradigm shift spiritually and the entire planet is moving into a slower hotter vibration! NICE!

I love re watching movies that I have loved for years, so tonight will be a "Let's see, what do I want to watch?" or, possibly just meditate, or forget it, put on the I Pod, grab the book I have been reading for months, "The Confessions" by Jean-Jacques Rousseau. Read until the ear buds fall out of my ears and the book falls to the side of the bed!

Summer is heaven on earth! I take nothing for granted. End of May I will be working 14 hours a day into the night... 7 days and nights a week! I never feel guilt during these 5 months! I HAVE EARNED EVERY RESTFUL MOMENT!

A New Year... 2009

I have great reason to be 'released' from 2008! I survived the past 12 months and I believe I have learned the lessons!

What a year of Lessons that HAD TO BE LEARNED and it seemed they could only be LEARNED via pain, suffering and forgiveness. Mind you, I had no idea I was carrying such an Gargantua amount of garbage and destructive emotional energy that began fermenting into quite a powerful toxic as well as fantastically healing brew from the time I was born!

I thank my lucky stars for every single vibration be it positive, negative or passive that has helped make me into the person I am today. Everything I am came from simply one word: VIBRATION!

Music was my gift, the simple 'talent' that would take me 'round the world and introduce me to some of the most bazaar as well as amazing human beings on this planet.

Music is a land where I did any damn thing I wanted because, more than any place on earth, it offered me the opportunity to CREATE my own reality. I could spend hours alone at the organ or piano IMPROVISING any image or emotions I wanted within the fame work of SOUND.

Cheat music and it will cheat on you!

Music is a land where DISCIPLINE, DEDICATION and DETERMINATION abound. Any composition will sound 'beautiful' and 'meaningful' or 'desirous' BUT and only IF, it is not performed as TRUTH, somewhere in the learning process of the composition you have "CHEATED"! I know this to be abso-fucking-lutely TRUE!

Beauty and truth in MOTION make music and dance come alive and touch the soul of the very universe we are all a part of.

Because of MUSIC I am who I am. My music lead me on a course of self discovery and learning I never imagined possible when I was a 6 year old boy! Even when I was a 43 year old man! Or when I was a 62 year old man!

2009 is an amazing number in numerology. 2 being an "active" number and 9 a number of "transition" or as some people claim it is the number of "completion"... 9+2=11... 11 is a master number!

This year is full of activity, through ongoing vibrational impulse, attempting to move everything toward transformation. When things seem to be going to hell this year REMEMBER: deliberately and consistently install moments of quietness, stillness and emptiness into your daily NOW... (these words are from my friend Diviana!)

I feel that all the people in my life I have 'created' and I see them as musical notes, triads and scales, arpeggios, some have been fast glissando's, some fortissimo, some pianissimo... some very Dolce or just andante!

Many of these gorgeous people have left the earth plane, but they vibrate and make a sound that I desire in my "Life's symphony" they are never far away, they are part of my very being. Every breath and heart beat they live and make their very presence known only to me!

My musical "mentors" are very much with me always! They are alive and live in New York, Idaho, Utah and some like Brahms or Bach have long left their bodies.

Brahms was a most complex man loving two people at once was not uncommon for him! He kept the company of men...He was extremely generous with his money, living quarters and gave men and WOMEN beautiful gifts. BUT, he was out spoken! Rude and very blunt... Honesty with no pretense.

He lost two of his dearest companions of his life within months of each other... Clara Wieck Schumann and Jochiem the violinist.

Brahms captured the confusing unsaid dilemmas of philosophy, of unrequited love, of words and touch not given in the physical but held in one's own private mind and a secret place within one's heart.

A most intuitive, very private as well as sexual thing. That is the JOY OF MUSIC! It is life!

This is going to be a "CRACKER" of a year.