IF NO ONE ASKS ME ABOUT IT, THEN I KNOW WHAT IT IS; BUT IF SOMEONE ASKS ME ABOUT IT AND I TRY TO EXPLAIN IT TO HIM, THEN I DO NOT KNOW WHAT IT IS... ST. AUGUSTINE, (Confessions)
The words of St. Augustine explain why I have not written a new blog all this week. Too many unexplainable, yet wonderful things have been happening. I may not be the "Spiritual Person" the american religious right would approve of, however in my own mind, body and soul I have and always will be "in touch" with my "higher self". I am guided, informed and guarded.
I cannot explain some of the things that have occurred this week but they have all been blessings and gifts.
I made contact with a woman I met 25 years ago who was once a secretary for Shirley MacLane. We are back in touch via the blessing of the inter-net. She is and always will hold a special place in my heart.
I dialed a number I have had in storage on my mobile vodafone for more than a year just to see WHO it could be? A person answered the phone. it is a person I NEED to be in contact with and hope to see in the near future!
I go to the Dorothy Brown Arts Movie Theatre in Arrowtown Sunday to view the movie, THE QUEEN. (no pun intended.) I dream of owning one of these places one day maybe in another lifetime. There is a coffee-wine bar and arty bookstore in the lobby. Tables to sit and visit while sipping fine wine, cheeses or teas and coffees. Deep soft chairs, fresh cut flowers, paintings on the walls and books for sale new and used line the walls. I find a book by Patrick Suskind "On Love and Death". A very short essay. I buy it. EVERY WORD OF THIS BOOK I NEED RIGHT NOW!
Today I had my first Reflexology session with Anna. She is so booked that I have not been able to get in with her until now.
She has moved her practice to Sunshine Baby on Hayes Paddock Road. This woman is one of the most beautiful, loving humans on this planet. She literally helped me to forgive and release so much baggage last year. I was suffering with the arthritis, prostate, sciatica, shoulder pain, acid reflux, God it goes on and on. She hit trigger points that sent me threw the roof last year.
We searched for the deeper reasons and meanings of the problems and learned how to FORGIVE and RELEASE the CAUSE and accept the LESSON. Today was magic. My right foot is much more balanced and hardly a problem area. The Left foot. Well, it is the FEMININE side of the body. I have always had one hell of a time accepting and allowing my feminine side to live freely. In the 60's and 70's I OVER COMPENSATED for being gay and lived in such denial and fear I all but cut the tits of my girlie man self! I HAVE KNOWN STRAIGHT MEN that are more in touch with the female of their minds and body!
Crap was going on with this foot. We are working it through with some amazing work. Here is the stunning part. I am cutting rib steak for dinner this evening, DRUM ROLL!!! I CUT DEEPLY INTO MY THUMB ON MY LEFT HAND! LEFT SIDE!!! I dropped the knife and yelled "holy shit!" I am realizing something very very deep here. I injured my left elbow a month ago at the gym. GO F---ING FIGURE!
Then, I performed a mini concert for the first time in years of Bach, Chopin, Beethoven. This is a very complicated story and I will tell it at another time, but I honestly "channeled the music". I have never played so beautifully and with such confidence.
I watched all of the first season of Tales of The City the past two nights. When Anna Madrigal is explaining to Edgar Halcyon about Atlantis, I stopped breathing! I now know something about a woman that was so important in my past and died in 1980. I nearly fainted. I stopped the DVD and backtracked to the scene and watched it over and over. This particular woman I am speaking about lived in San Francisco most of her life. It was not an accident how I found her in my searching for an apartment on a raining night and my life was changed for ever. Only thing different than Anna Madrigal is: I MOVED TO 620 - 28th Street Ogden Utah and the tales of city story takes place at 28-Barbarry Lane, San Francisco.
This is not the end of the tiny bits of gold that kept showing up between events all the past week. My dreams were OUT OF THIS WORLD and mind you, I have NOT been smoking weed or drinking vodka! I wonder if the comet that is slowly dissipating from the western sky has anything to do with my "keen awareness"... I took this self portrait this week of what a happy 60 year old man looks like! Sweet dreams...
1 comment:
Spiritual alignment is allowed, needed and even encouraged my sweet. But you AREN'T allowed to start hacking away at your marvelous hands. Music honey is your magic and you can't fucking play chopsticks with no bloody fingers. Playing with your willy and your nose just won't do.
I've never had the pleasure of a reflexology treatment. I've had such issues with my physicality that I shy away from 'work' on my gibbonesque frame. I've only had 2 massages ever. The one that was given to me by a guy lead me to distraction and left me feeling a bit stiff, so I don't do that anymore. Manicure arer fine by the talented Asian establishment in MYC but popping boners during a massage isn't kosher.
A guiding hand the the gym is always encouraged when I'm feeling plump and firm. I feel for the first time the man I've always wanted to be. The framed idea of what my body would be like when I was a teen. It's so freeing to see in the mirror the man I thought I'd be. But the most important part is not just the body but the mind. You've taught me that. A mind with no limits, and artists mind. Someone who sees everything as a gift, no matter how bad it might hurt. That is the person I'm still striving to be.
Mwah,
kb
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