Drums

When I turned 40 I wrote a book titled, "A Self-Help Guide for Men Over Forty". I never pursued the effort of having it printed except at my own expense and handed it out to various friends. This evening I was cleaning out my computer desk and in one of my files I discovered a copy of this catalog for men in search of their maleness and self-discovery (as I referred to it at the time I was writing it.)
Well, I began scanning the pages and realized so much of what I had written 20 years ago was still a big part of my on going saga of self-discovery so I have decided to re-write some of the articles in my blog for the next few days. One subject that I
loved was called DRUMMING.

Drumming was one ritual I refused to experience for years. When I finally opened up to the idea it opened a secret place in the heart of a very angry and confused young boy. That boy was me at 40 years of age!

Years ago I attended a conference for men where various workshops, excellent speakers and many tools were presented that would allow a middle aged man to feel comfortable with his maleness. The conference was in Colorado. Sweat Lodges, Group discussions and exercise in Ti Chi and Yoga were on the menu of events.

One evening I was invited to participate in a drumming ceremony. I dressed in cut-offs and a tank-top. The night air was pristine, fragrant with wild flowers and pine. Eight men sat around a roaring fire as the instructor gave a short demonstration on the art of beating a drum. Then came the moment of truth. Each man took a drum in hand and began beating any rhythm he sensed as well as chanting and singing in strange melodies... This was everything I considered bordering on insanity!

Suddenly I was up in the circle beating my drum and humming to myself as the fire and night sky melted into one event.
Then it happened. I began making a strange crying sound from deep inside my guts. I was beating the drum to a pattern of beats that were streaming up and outward from my solar-plexus. I sang, danced and made sounds I thought unimaginable.

After the drumming I wandered off into the hills. Laying on my back against the cool earth and starring into the firmament of sparkling stars I felt tears streaming down my cheeks. My body was still thrumming with the vibrations of the drum-dance experience.

I have no desire to analyze this experience. It is sacred to me and I found it healed something that for years I was not able to put into language. It may not be the right thing for everyone. I did it with no intention of finding enlightenment of any value. No doubt the workshops, group encounters had some impact on me but the drumming was the highlight of the conference.

I found that after years of beating myself up emotionally, the beating of a drum felt so much nicer and answered things I did not understand. Follow your own drummer...You will be happy you did. Be aware that the beating on the skin of the drum can drive some people crazy, so be kind to your neighbors and friends by beating your drum privately where no one will be upset with your ceremony. (OMG, this sounds so sexual!) Well?