Native Grass... don't smoke this stuff...

The joy of Tussock native grasses...  This native grass is called "rainbow grass".  When it grows into it's full glorious splendor it is amazing how it grasps sunlight, moonlight, starlight.  It catches the bellows of the wind within it's slinder arms as well as any of natures fragile breaths of air and it begins moving like waves on the ocean.   It is like music the celestial music of the universe.  I can sit for hours in the most peaceful meditative state of mind and body simply watching the rhythmic melody this angel floss dances to!

A very dear friend Karina made a road trip from Alexandra NZ to Q/TOWN NZ a few days ago.  We go way back many years ago.  She was my personal trainer.  The woman gave me shoulders in the day.
She also has a "gift" the Green Thumb.  She can take a suffering plant and bring it back to life.  We were chatting away over wine and snacks about pests like weeds and plants such as veggies and flowers.  She made a profound statement I hope to never forget:  " when it comes to green things growing you follow one rule:  IF YOU LIKE AND LOVE A CERTAIN THING THAT IS GROWING IN THE GARDEN, IT IS A PLANT, IF YOU HATE AND THINK IT IS A MESS IT IS A WEED!"  I love that.  I actually have certain plants some people tell me are weeds and I happen to think they are quite amazing!  Kinda like certain people and other things in our lives!

Autumn day out with the girls!

This photo was taken by a table attendant at Pier 19 Restaurant on the Queenstown Wharf March 20, 2013.   Every year Dr. Erin Elmore, Michael's only niece fly's all the way from NY, (very snowy winter weather in the USA) and spends two blessed weeks with us in beautiful Q/T, NZ.
(So no one becomes confused):  L. to R.  Brent, Willma Elmore, (Erin's aunt, best friend and most of all Willma is like a big sister to Erin.  Then ERIN!)  
I love these two women.  They both are savvy medicine women!

Willma's father was a prominent M.D. in Jackson Hole WY.  He is Erin's grandfather on her mother's side.  Erin's father was Michael's oldest brother's daughter.  Michael's brother was a very fine science teacher and loved chemistry.  Because of situations at the time when Erin was born she was adopted
by the Elmores.

Years ago, In The Day, as they say?  (who ever THEY ARE?)  Dr. Elmore was the man that saved many lives of people that lived on ranches, mountains and the valleys surrounding Jackson Hole.  He was the MD that delivered babies morning night and day.  He was the man that set broken bones from skiing accident and the drunken brawls inside some rough cowboy bars.  He was the surgeon called in the night to remedy a sudden appendectomy or heart attack.  He saved many a life within the arms of a very harsh and unforgiving space in the Rocky Mountains.  I know of two Doctors that did a similar thing in the Valley I live in.

HOW GENES REGENERATE AMAZES ME:  Willma and Erin are both in the Medical Profession.
Willma lives in Washington State, the North West. Erin lives in NY the East Coast.  I guess they hold down the two sides of that enormous span of land between the west and east coasts of America!  I am thrilled to be in the care of two people I trust with my life!

They kidnapped me two days ago and took me to a fabulous lunch... walk about town.  It was colder than a witch's you know what, but we had a great time.  I love it when family and friends spend time in a place I love and adore.  I also love my live in Alpine, WY.  The Snake River, the majestic Tetons, Yellowstone Nat. Park...  As Julie Andrews sings in the movie Sound of Music...
"I must have done something good in my childhood."....

Will write in a few days.

Summer in Queenstown, NZ

I took this photo yesterday as I was out walking along the shore of the lake.  I used the camera on my
I PAD.  I still struggle with it.  WHY?  I think the reason may be, I cannot see the screen in the bright sunlight and  most times I touch the WRONG button on the screen...  drives me crazy some days.
I did not bring my trust worthy old Kodak Digital camera to NZ this year.  Why would I if the I PAD has a camera, my cell phone has a camera?
Well, my Vodafone does NOT have a camera.  The phone works great, but it does not have many bells, whistles.    Main thing:  your getting a glimpse of summer from under your toes Feb. 2013.

Talk about summer... there are some great old photos posted on my http://www.brentjohnston.info/ of the quartet when we were playing the MUSIC UNDER THE STARS every Sunday evening from July into August.  The six Sunday evenings were magical nights full of moonlight, stars, pine song and laughter.

I will forever love making music with my best friends and seeing people dancing, and mind you some of the couples dancing were amazing! I should have called the talent scouts for DANCING WITH THE STARS!  

Lots of  nice people simply relaxing in their seats tapping their hands and feet to the beat of the music and some people actually sang the words to many of the songs!

Everything within our life has it's time and season.  The years of the MUSIC UNDER THE STARS ended when I simply could not do it any longer.  Cooking over a 100 Sunday Brunch meals, then setting up for the concert... then putting energy into a performance and cleaning up after the event it was all so good until my body decided to put the brakes on the entire act.

I had no idea I had cancer...  I've learned a big lesson in life:  NO MATTER WHAT YOU MAY THINK:  YOUR SPACE SUIT WILL DICTATE WHEN, HOW, IF YOU DO CERTAIN THINGS!

Every season always ignites memories of things past.  Summer.  The years I lived for the summer camping events.  The times I spent camping out along the shores of the Great Salt Lake.  The summer I spent at Manhattan Beach in California with a person I was madly in love with at the time!  The summer I planted a garden beyond belief.  The summer I attended the Teton Music Festival in JH WY not ever imagining I would be living there one day!  The summers I spent on Antelope Island hiking from the east shore line over the peak to the western shore line...

Years ago I was the musical arranger and director for Ricky Tanner.  We had been blest with great success with his first album... A RIVER OF SONG... decided to make a Christmas Album.  We did it at Bonneville Recording Studios in SLC, UT in JULY.  I would spend all day in the recording studio playing, mixing, splicing, making dramatic changes here and there... walk out of the studio into brilliant hot sunshine at 8 PM... get this:  I had been working on Silent Night, Winter Wonderland, Jingle Bells... WHAT?  It worked I love this recording.  Thousands of people still play it over and over.  You can find it on line:  RICKY TANNER...

I am effected in summer by the month of July.  Most of my dearest friends have died in July.
One person that is very close and dear to me, my brother was born in July.  Another man that I adore was born in July yet, I always suffer great loss in July.   I thank my lucky stars I have to work my guts out in July!  It is the peak of my season at Brenthoven's, The Nordic Inn.  We are busy then.

I have proven that WORK can help heal many problems.  At times when I become anxious or depressed:  I get to work.  Do something that needs attending to and if not that then get out and WALK.  DON'T TALK just WALK...  I always feel good after I get to work or take the big walk.

In about a week we have family coming over all the way from NY and WASHINGTON STATE!  
It will be joyous because summer will still be with us.  When we return to the states the end of April, autumn and winter are entwined in a most interesting adventure here in NZ.  You can wake up to snow.  You can wake up to rain.  You can awaken to gorgeous autumn light and hot days... just like the northern hemisphere.

I have to get up stairs.  I have a meat loaf and scallop potatoes in the oven!  I know, we should be eating a salad because it is summer, but comfort food does work.  We all need a bit of comfort so after dinner I will watch a favorite movie...  read until I drift into dream land and thank the heavens I am where I am and that I well.  Summer is heavenly beyond imagination for me...

The new site...

Okay, a picture is worth about a thousand words?  you can all go figure.

Check out the slide show on the new site... http://www.brentjohnston.info/

Also a new you tube...  The Shepard Boy composed by Grieg...

Weather is still gorgeous in Q/town...  summer is heaven and I do not mind one moment of being physically toooooo warm...  hell, I'd rather be warm than cold.  Been cold too many times in my life.

Have tons of things going through my head right now.  Will sort them all out and write something worthwhile soon.

Sometimes I think my brain may go insane and simply explode... the damn thing wears me out.

In a few moments I'll have a glass of gorgeous pinot noir and make dinner...  only thing that frustrates me is: at times my brain goes into a total state of no recall... probably because I DO NOT WANT TO ACTUALLY RECALL THE SITUATION OR MEMORY.

The imprints made within our (brain-computers) are quite amazing and they seem to influence our next life times...  gotta watch out for what we think about at times... the future is an adventure only one person at a time can experience.

We all are INDIVIDUAL beings of light and energy.  We think we are as one.  NOT.  We are individual specks of life and we have our own personal karma as well as reasons for living and then dying.  Pretty exciting!  Most of all it is magic.

some sunshine...with loving touch

I do believe I have crossed over from depression into a balanced sunny place that does not require understanding.  It is what it is.

Today I walked out on Gorge Rd.  to my Doctor's office.

I have a shot around the 14th of every month.  He gives a good "JAB"... it does not hurt.  It is almost like one of those nasty sexual comments:  OH!  IS IT IN?  I never need a band aid.  he is a kind and brilliant man.  I only wish the world had more people like him.

Came home in a taxi.  Had all kinds of plans for a lovely dinner because it is Valentine's Day.  Lost interest...  I made beef rissoles, vegetables, breads and butter...  tomorrow I will pull all the stops out and light fire to something magical or else drastic.  Heeeee

My engineers are working on a new site called http://www.brentjohnston.info/    I am having a great time with it.  Some of the photos are priceless to me.  It is a work in Progress.

Tomorrow will be gym, then a coffee and sandwich at the Coffee Club in Frankton... collect items at the grocery store and then home for my massage with Sonya.  I don't do the whole body massage anymore.  I like my neck, shoulders, hands, feet worked over and over with reflexology... Sonya has been touching my body from head to toe for over 15 years!  She has watched this space suit evolve in ever so many ways.  She is a healer.

After our RUB we always have a wine with some great cheeses and breads.  We catch up on each other's lives and most of all enjoy the cozy comfort of being friends.  God, Friends are amazing.  If you need a massage Sonya will be there.  (her flight will cost you a fortune!  but, it is well worth it.)

Piotr Anderszewski ?

This man  PIOTR ANDERSZEWSKI,  is one of my favorite pianists.  That is why I posted his interview regarding performance anxiety.

Performance angst has literally murdered many a great performance of great music.  A pianist performing a recital is a vessel through which music is channelled...  being alone on a huge stage can be indescribable.  One walks out and sits before a huge instrument... the piano.  Your voice is released through your fingers, body language and silences.

The possibility that you may make a mistake, miss a "Que" when a certain Harmonic leading tone will transpose you to the next musical passage...  I for one hate the fearful drama.

Years ago I thrived on it.  Performing was like a drug.  I needed the approval of applause, adoration, simply being one with my ego?  In later years I discovered that I had a "musical past" being a pianist.  Could I perform up to the glorious moments of my past?   The doubt, questions and fears gradually begin seeping into moments of my then current performances.

Up until I turned 55 years of age...  then I began to realize one thing:  I had an audience of young people.  Young musicians that expected perfection and confidence from the moment I set foot on that stage.  The responsibility became over whelming at times.  I spent a fortune on hypnosis.  I guess it helped, but I still had these ghosts that whisper:  YOU WILL FAIL, haunting my mind and body, most all my very nerve endings.

20 years ago they started giving drugs for such anxiety.  Enderil?  I cannot recall the name of the drug.  I think it was used as a beta blocker.  Ages ago I took one before a recital only to feel "OUT OF IT"

OMG, I would have been better off if I had toked a joint!  There is one drug that does help:  XANEX.
I know it is addictive?  Well, so it milk, Advil, Alcohol and a few other things that are approved to be fine for the entire human race.  Taking a very tiny bite of Zanex has helped me with many performances within the past 10 years.  It has also kept me from killing some people I know...  NO  YOU  DO  NOT  TAKE  IT EVERYDAY... only when performing or ready to KILL.

I can imagine what a surgeon must feel every time a body is laid on the operating table and it comes down to LIFE OR DEATH?   Those men and women have hands made of gold and minds that can let go of so many mistakes as well as the most successful moments.

I know that there are times when I am cooking... (again the use of the hands, like musicians, surgeons, painters... writers...) and I fail to make something perfect.  Usually my hands, heart and mind signal me screaming:  DON'T SERVE THAT!

I can stop and RE-MAKE the plate.  Re cook the steak... but when one is on a stage  NO YOU FAKE IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT.  Like being naked in front of the entire universe!  Fine, if you are one of those people that won the DNA LOTTO  you will look so great no one will care what you sound like...!

In all reality we all do this with our lives.  We try to live it, but there are times we fake it and eventually the damn thing works.

I love Piotr's piano playing and his music touches me in places I must go at times.  He is a most honest man!  Hope I am.

http://crosseyedpianist.com/2012/04/15/piotr-anderszewski-and-the-loneliness-of-performance/

http://crosseyedpianist.com/2012/04/15/piotr-anderszewski-and-the-loneliness-of-performance/

past blogs

I have taken the time to re read some of my past blogs.  One of my favorites: Friday, Jan. 30, 2009.
The Ensemble.   Those years were magic beyond belief for me and my music.

update on my veggie garden...

If one looks back on the original garden... it was dirt.  NOW:  lettuces, cabbages, red and green, squash, carrots, tomatoes...  It is still summer in NZ...  Come end of April when we leave it will be autumn.  The neighbors will have lots of goodies from the harvest.  We will eat plenty of healthy foods from this garden.

Today was sunshine and roses.  Tonight will be just like the old song:  Moonlight and Roses.
Had a long, long walk today.  Lots of gorgeous bodies laying beside the lake and on the lake.  Tons of people eating ice cream and cold drinks.  I sat on a bench eating my sandwich... sipping coffee and thanked the universe for all the many times I have taken off my clothes, jumped into cold lakes, streams and most of all I was always so excited for sunshine.  The endless times I simply went from sunshine into night and sometimes forgot morning!  (I usually had a serious headache in the mornings after??!!)

All things considered life is fantastic.  I am very happy to be 66 and enjoying good health.  I have finally come to peace with the past and hope to find peace with the future.  A kind word and Smile do wonders for my soul.  Today walking along the beach so many foreigners would smile and say "HI" as they walked by.  I smiled back and thought of all the kind things people have ever given me.  Most of all understanding and smiles.

Must water the garden!  FULL MOON TONIGHT.  I will be up all night.  The full moon is like a powerful stimulant that feeds my spirit.  It pulls me out of any bad mood or depression I may be living in.  LUNA.
I am the Man That Fell In Love With The Moon...

Feeling much better

Ah, I think I am restored somewhat to my normal (what in hell normal is?) self.  I have been in a horrible FUNK.  Depressed... then happy...  anxious about nothing and then exhausted.  I hate it when my brain chemicals drop head first into the basement of despair.

I am a "sensitive".  That can be a difficult blessing or a dreadful curse.  I learned 60  years ago how to draw a circle of invisible light energy around my body that would protect me from outside emotions.  Emotions are pure energy and every emotion is felt because of a chemical reaction to some kind of action.  Emotions have vibrations and color.  They can guide us or destroy us.  Music, art, poetry, literature, dance, drama have all played a very important part in saving me from my self.  WHY?

When I was a little boy music became my "voice".   I learned how to use it and it's force has forever been the blessed olive branch between my mind and heart.  I can sit with a musical score and marvel at it's code of dots, horizontal and vertical lines, spaces and mathematics that give birth to sound, color and emotion.  I relate music completely with nature.  Nature is pure music to my mind, heart and spirit.
Even as I am composing this blog post I am listening to Debussy.

The past few days my body and mind and heart have been out of tune.  I have simply not been tuning the instrument!  I allowed far too many outside vibrations to set of a dissonance I could not understand.
I could not stand the sound of it inside my sacred space.  The dissonance was screaming negative sounds that have no meaning except separation, anger, fear and the most dreadful thing in the world to my way of thinking: helplessness.

I could not sleep last night.  I chased my damn pillow around the bed 100 times.  I strangled myself with my sheets, I rolled on my right side, I rolled to my left side.  I tried laying on my back, stomach and finally got out of bed, walked up the stairs to the upper level of the house.

Opened the door into the garden.  The firmament was breath taking!  The milky way a highway paved with diamonds.  The Southern Cross gleamed like a sacred icon from the most sacred cathedral in the universe... a melody started faintly playing inside my brain... a little melody I learned as boy in one of my piano method books!  I started laughing and then I felt tears on my cheeks.  Tears are jewels.  I know for a fact that when I am distressed IF I get in the truck and start driving and then crying I feel fantastic.  They seem to release all kinds of unsay able things.  Tears are rivers of RELEASE.

I walked around the garden in my bare feet absorbing the dew on the grass, inhaling the scent of early morning light.  Magic.  It worked... a healing beyond explanation.  I'm good today.  OMG, I may do something creative and fun before tomorrow!

My distress... My angst?

I am living with a situation some people have lived with and some have not a clue what I will be writing about.

When and IF?  one's body, the physical body lives beyond it's DNA at times the mind can out live the body?  NO...  One cannot live without the other.  I am living with a 95 year old woman that only wants to go home?  She is completely helpless..  She has not any recall of her immediate family, friends or life the past 90 years.

I am watching her only living son go through hell...  he cares for her beyond anything I would ever do for my parents without the help and need of some care giver.  I do not, and mind you, I do not mean I do not LOVE MY PARENTS BEYOND WORDS...  I simply would and could not do what he is doing.   I do not change underpants very well... I do not put on make up, I do not dress and take care of women.  My sisters can and would.  I cannot.   His anger and frustration drives me into distraction.  At times I say things and then I listen to how rotten I am?  I will try to help beyond making meals and doing laundry etc.  only to be told I am not nice?  Dementia/ the other disease he will not speak a word about  It is a word that he will not accept help with or discuss... It lives within the world I am living and breathing within.

One thing:  I dumped so many things regarding religion 1000 years ago...  I believe in KARA MA.  Most of the people that are in my life are because of something I did in a past lifetime or I will do in this life time do to balance help some of the ?????? guilt? Karmic justice?  what ever.

I learned 30 some odd years ago that the people I meet up with during my lifetime are for a reason.  I know that some are what I refer to as STAR SEED CHILDREN of MINE.  They are very precious spirits I knew and still KNOW from many other lifetimes and the thing that startles my spirit:  they KNOW ME.  I KNOW THEM.  I will never be able to live without them.  I have 3 precious beings STAR SEED PERSONS...  THEY KNOW WHO THEY ARE... and they will take care of me when I fall apart... god willing I do not loose my damn mind!

When I was 14 years old my piano teachers had known me in another lifetime.  I fell in love with mystic love affairs that were from past lifetimes...  I met people that guided me into places from all over the planet to near by places where I grew up because of one thing:  they simply did not know they were taking me into places and situations I had to experience in this life time.  I learned years later THEY knew somethings I never could have imagined at the time, in the 60's???

During the years I studied piano with a very old teacher he always said:  YOU ARE A VERY OLD SOUL INSIDE A NEW BODY?  WTF?  I would ponder on this when I was 16 years old...  I read "The Prophet" by Gilbran...  This little book has kept me alive for more lifetimes than I will ever be able to explaine.  I would and cannot ever go anywhere one earth without it. The book.  I composed a piece of music for the man and his words.  Go to my youtube side at the bottom of this blog... you can hear what I think of the man and his words and art.  I kind of knew what he was talking about... then years later I honestly knew.  Children COME THRU YOU  THEY ARE NOT OF YOU...  parents must learn and know this fact.  how right is that?

My Grandmothers were not a mistake in my life.  They knew things my mother only now knows.  They knew how to care and love.  THEY DID NOT JUDGE because they knew how to live without hate and angst toward any one. I grew and learned how to hate  men with priesthoods, politics, ego and most of fears fear in and of itself.  WOMEN have always know the TRUTH.  They have always known Forgiveness, and they they have known love beyond the stars.

No matter how one may blame their parents, mother, father, for all of their situations.............. they, the parents,  really did the best they could and most of all SO DID YOU and ME!   If one can survive their parents they have over come GUILT, FEAR AND MOST OF ALL ANGER.  Fathers and some mothers can become bigotted and hateful for no other reason than fear and anger.  Kiss the day goodbye.  The gift was ours to borrow.  We did what we had to do...  will write a fun blog in a few days.  Death seems to be hanging over my life right now...  guess that is why I love 6' Under.  Kiss today goodbye.

the new garden... Veggies... whooeeee

IN GOD WE TRUST?

I usually never post anything political or controversial on my blog however, due to the recent shooting in the USA of innocent children and people that were kind and caring human beings murdered in the name of what?  Insanity?  Freedom to bare arms?  Mental Illness? Because we have a culture hooked on sensationalism of blowing up buildings, killing humans with machine guns, releasing anger and hate by murdering the "images" of things that remind them of their past when they were abused, injured, unjustly accused of sins...  I need to write.

I grew up in a house with guns.  NOT GUNS THAT THE MILITARY WOULD USE IN WARS!

My father hunted deer every autumn.  The rifles were secured in a wooden box he had made with pad locks, just in case we kids got into places we had no business poking around in?

When I was 12-14 I saved money and purchased a Remington 22 rifle.  I took very precious care of that rifle.  I shot birds, I was a killer!!!!!!!!  I NEVER IN MY WILDEST FANTASIES EVER IMAGINED TURNING THAT 22 ONTO A HUMAN BEING?  Was something wrong with me?

I went Deer Hunting once.  I lay ed the bead of a gun on the head of a deer.  I fell to pieces.  I could not shoot living and breathing creature with gorgeous eyes and such a Lethe body such as a deer!  I was forgiven and told not to worry.
I happen to love Venison.  Elk and Venison are two of my favorite meats!  I simply cannot kill animals.

I has forever amazed and the fact stunned me spiritually and mentally that a country like America can use such a mantra as: IN GOD WE TRUST,  yet use weapons of mass destruction?  WHY?  WHERE IS GOD... and do not tell me he needs guns to keep his image perfectly in tact?  When CHRIST WAS BORN PEOPLE WERE NOT KILLING EACH OTHER WITH GUNS~  go figure!

I was bullied in grade school as a child.  The image or thought of killing one of the four bullies that beat up on me with a gun,  DAMIT IT NEVER EVER ENTERED MY MIND.  I was raised to believe in arbitration.  One talked things out... they made peace agreements...

In my many years of traveling, my own regrets and pain, my own joys and discoveries of love I have learned:  SAFETY IS ACHIEVED IN SIDE THE MENTAL AND SPIRITUAL DNA OF OUR MINDS AND SOULS.  NOT ANYWHERE ELSE.  NO CHURCH, NO GOVT.  NO, NO, NO!
Minds can and are CONTROLLED BY MEDIA and GUILT and FEAR.  FEAR IS THE GREATEST POWER ON THIS PLANET.  IT WORKS!  LOOK AROUND.  TAKE A REALLY GOOD LOOK!!!  (in god we trust???)

DEATH WILL AND DOES EQUALIZE US.

Why are America's so damn afraid of death?  Why can they not put all of their faith in their GOD and live in peace and harmony?  I know, many do, but they forget that even CHINA has made great changes... USSR is not the same country as when I was a little boy...  Viet Nam?  I went there 3 times. I can only imagine what many men witnessed during the 2nd WW.  Remember when Bush had the vision to blow up Iraq?  They had not attacked us?  Iraq is the cradle of civilization?  Why in hell did he not blow the hell out of Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia? blow them off the earth?  They ATTRACT US.  We have 8,000 missiles that can blow us into dust... into the next universe of?  WE NEED THEM.

If Americans honestly believe in the Bible... NOT THE OLD TESTAMENT:  Jesus said:  I give you a new commandment:  LOVE ONE ANOTHER as I HAVE LOVED YOU.  That had nothing to do with REPUBLICAN or DEMOCRATIC MORALS.    IT IS PLAIN AS DAY,  LOVE ONE ANOTHER.  That translates:  you love and forgive everything in your life.  IF NOT YOU WILL SUFFER.  That means you must forgive yourself and love homosexuals, mentally ill people, humans that have strange and different belief systems... polygamists, politician's, popes, prophets, circus acts, and musicians...

America is a "WAR MACHINE"...  we manufacture bombs, guns, weapons... we cannot use them so let's sell them to 3rd world countries...  we already sell enough to Americans.

I have friends with over 50 guns in their homes...  IN GOD WE TRUST?  If God cannot protect you from a bullet or death?  One must spend some time with nature and a trained counselor...  hate and anger has become a part of America that I do not like.  Get rid of Hennity, Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh, Glen Beck... you will once again give me a Republican Party I used to believe in.

Queenstown Dec. 22, 2012 The end of the world...

Ah!  We made it.  All the doom sayers have to know that most of the humans and animals on earth including plant life made it, we are fine.  The Mayan Calendar has some flaws appearently, but It did not stop many people from the RAPTURE of building underground bunkers and buying food, water and guns in order to survive.  At my age I trust in GOD a bit more than the calendars!  Death is not horrible.  It is peace and love away from the angst and pain of life on earth.

Spring Cherry Blossoms on a flag hanging inside my studio door window.  Nice image of love, light and peace...

NOLA November 2012

Sunday Brunch with baby sister, TJ, and Stephanie and Jim.  Great food as always in New Orleans.

Rehearsal at Yamaha.  This piano was divine.  It simply breathed.  It loved me!

Gorgeous summer day

Ah!  Finally SUMMER!

I am such a slob.  I did not take any photos, however, my chicken salad on croissants with all kinds of sides was a BIG SUCCESS!    I put dill in my chicken salad.  It gives it a certain TANG and BANG!

I invented a new recipe for PEANUT BUTTER COOKIES.  They honestly turned out divine.  I have not baked cookies in years.  I will recreate my old COWBOY Cookies from the 60's.  They needed lots more butter and nutmeg.  I will get it all figured out.   Must be old age and the holidays... the cookies?

Loving my life within the Autumn of my life means:  I love very SMALL PARTIES.  Meaning:  No more than 4 extra people.  Why?  Because I can listen, that means hear what the people are discussing...  I can SEE the expressions on their faces, I can FEEL the ENERGY they are radiating...

This afternoon I had two of my dearest friends in for lunch and wine.  Karina trained me for years at the old BODY WORKS GYM here in QT.  She is a MONSTER when it comes to DOING WHAT YOU MUST DO TO DEVELOP SHOULDERS, LEGS, the list is endless...  Now, we laugh at all of the past and muse how enamored we were to having a perfect body!  My space suit is just fine the way it is, but I still have to go to a gym 3 times a week?  I am SCREWED UP?  No, it makes me feel good.

Karina and Jimmy Karina's  partner have a new baby.  A Jack Russell 8 months old named Charlie.  What a joy this dog is!  They have moved from the city that keeps rocking and shaking, Christchurch.  They bought a house in Alexandra.  I LIKE Alex.  It is a very NZ community.  So they are now within an hours drive away from QT.

My studio window is full of plants!  I have to plant the out side wall of my studio with pansies, etc......
We are finally finding our legs on a and within a new lifestyle and planet?

Later.

SUNDAY BRUNCHES

For over 28 years we have opened The Nordic Inn Memorial Day Weekend and closed for the year end of September.  There have been the odd years when we were open during the winter season or remained open into mid October because of fine weather and tourists.

I work 14 hours a day 7 days a week from the hour we first open the doors for business until we close.  This is not a living hell for me.  I love what I do for a living.

I have never worked a job that I did not like.   The years I made a living playing piano... I did not take on gigs that were not pleasant or paid me NOT a decent wage.  I simply would quit a job IF it meant some kind of anxiety and hell for me mentally, physically and spiritually.

Mind you, I do not escape from problems and challenges within the work place.  Work is work.  Work should and must reward us in ways that makes us happy.  Be it money, acclaim, self esteem.

I did not learn how to play piano easily.  I WORKED at it.  PRACTICED for hours beyond my own imagination.  I made mistakes.  Lots of wrong notes but sometimes one cannot learn the correct notes without hitting the wrong ones first!

One thing I WAS A TOTAL FAILURE AT:  SCHOOL WORK.  HOMEWORK as it is called!  I simply hated doing homework.  I would practice piano for hours instead of sitting with my books with pencil and paper at hand.   I loved listening to lectures in class at College and University, but the homework... OMG........  if the course was being taught by a charismatic teacher I could manage to retain their lectures inside my head, but IF NOT!  FAILURE.

Sorry, I am drifting off the subject of SUNDAY BRUNCHES.  Years ago I decided to make Sunday Mornings a special event within the restaurant.  Change the daily menu and offer a Brunch menu 'round 11 AM until 1:00 PM.  It was a success but like so many ideas that are so fun in the beginning they can turn into MONSTERS.

I always know when Sunday rolls around because on Saturday evening after the dinner hours I stay up prepping for SUNDAY BRUNCH.  Sunday Brunch at Brenthoven's can easily serve over a 100 plates.  I am a very small intimate restaurant and take pride in not rushing people over their meals, allowing space and time for every one's needs but Sundays can prove to be something of a ADVENTURE.

This year 2012 has been such a year of tragic and comedic adventures on SUNDAY BRUNCH'S.  I now call them:  SUNDAY CRUNCHES.  I will not bore one with all the details except for one event which I could not ever imagine would ever happen.

Picture a PERFECT SUMMER'S DAY...  Patio is full, inside the restaurant is FULL...  drinks, coffee are flowing... Sara is on both stations.  She is a brilliant waitress.  I have help in the kitchen even though orders are PILING UP LIKE BRICKS...  eggs are not cooking on the stove or on the grill.  French Toast is WET.  My hell, it has been on the grill for over 20 minutes!!!  Water will not boil for Eggs Benedict...  Sara is NOT SCREAMING, but WOULD LIKE TO, "WHERE IN HELL ARE MY ORDERS???????!!!!!!!##$%%^^&"  I am going crazy.

I AM OUT OF PROPANE.  In Western WY we use Propane tanks.  WTH?  We have people asking WHY?  We have people ANGRY?  We have un happy people.  I tell Sara, "You will have to tell them we are out of GAS!"  She is not in the least amused.  She is very kind to me but informs me SHE WILL NOT AND CAN NOT TELL PEOPLE TO GET UP AND LEAVE.  Matt, my "gofer" Sous chef in training says, (I'll tell 'um!)  he does!!!

Another Sara comes to my aid.  Sara Need.  She walks up to my service window and says, "Brent, Bill can fix most anything do you want him to look at the situation?"  "Sure Sara"  I have propane bottles I use on the patio on cold evenings... Billy Neeb saves my ass.  He used the flex tube from the big propane tank and connects it to the line going into my kitchen.  Eggs begin to sizzle, water finds it's bubbles, French Toast becomes crispy...  I owe the man a big favor.

We lost 30 some odd customers not out of anger, but we could not accommodate them.  I was a dead man walking when I went to bed after brunch and the evening dinner shift.

Every Sunday came with open smiling arms full of challenges.  The time the power went out.  Toasters will not work.  Coffee maker STOPS.  FANS.  Fans are a very important life source in a kitchen!

The Sunday a biker on the deck is having a heart attack.  He is 39 years old!  I thought it was my cooking!  He had suffered with heart problems from a very early age.  BUT WHY ON MY SUNDAY BRUNCH DAYS...

The Sundays I RAN OUT OF BACON!  WORST THING:  OUT OF HOME FRIED POTATOES. I make my home fries from real potatoes.  NOT FROZEN ETC.  The list is endless.

I believe it is a sign from the universe.  I must simply go BACK to normal breakfast on Sunday.  Lunch at 11:30 til 1:00 PM.

It is 10 minutes after 5 in the afternoon in QT.  Wine TIME.  I have many times said:  To Goodness and Wisdom we only make promises; we OBEY PAIN.  Well, my pain tells me no more Sunday Brunch just normal stuff!

New Zealand at last! Dec. 2012

Driving to Idaho Falls in route to NOLA and NYC.  I do appear to be OUT OF MY MIND and BODY.  No worries.  I made it.  New Orleans was heaven, the food beyond imagination.  NYC will forever be the center of universe for me and Batman.

House in Alpine first snow storm.  We had the house painted this year.  It was looking like something out of What ever Happened to Baby Jane!  This was not a heavy snow storm.

2 dozen YELLOW ROSES for my B day in NYC.  Every year I get two dozen yellow roses for my Birthday.  Only thing missing???  I love yellow roses with sweet peas!!!!!!!!!  Notice the Beethoven Sonata beside the vase!

Arrived in QT a day late.  Flew on the new Qantas Air Bus from LAX to Sydney AU.  Quiet, and no bumps.  It makes for a slower flight, but so comfy.  Leg room.  MIND YOU WE DO NOT TRAVEL in Business or First Class!  Missed the connection flight to QT so Qantas put us up in a swank hotel downtown Sydney, all meals, drinks, taxi fares, rooms PAID FOR.  Hell, it would have saved them money to simply put us on the flight to QT.

It is spring time.  Pansies are in blossom.  Roses are gorgeous.  Started back at the gym today.  UGH!  I remember the days I pranced around this town in tank tops!  NO MORE!  BUT:  I do believe in the magic of exercise and it does allow me to eat.  If I do not work out I could be 400 lbs.

Tomorrow, I will begin writing about the events of the past summer.  Stay tuned.

WHAT I DID FOR LOVE...

August is a busy month in my restaurant.  I was preparing my steam table... cutting lemons, laying out various things I must have at my finger tips when cooking.

My cell phone rang.  I thought , "let it go... you can call back later..."  then my blood pressure started to sky rocket.  What IF it was an employee is calling about working tonight?  What IF it was my mother or father calling?  I stopped my jobs and reached for my cell phone.  It was a call from my baby sister in New Orleans.  I dialed, she answered.

Teresa said, "I know you are too busy to listen to the news, but, one of your favorite musical icons has died."
"Who?"
"Marvin Hamlisch.  I know how much you admired and loved the music the man created.  He died in
Los Angeles of some kind of lung failure.  I know you will morn this..."

She was spot on.  I actually choked a muffled cry inside my body!  This man's music had an enormous impact on my life.

He was born June 2, 1944.  Two years older than me.  When Teresa was telling all about this event I heard songs playing through my musical mind... THE STING.  He composed the musical score for the movie and of course the top tune:  THE ENTERTAINER by SCOTT JOPLIN... Scott Joplin became a house hold word!

I was  teaching piano to lots of kids during the 70's.   They ALL learned "The Entertainer" by Scott Joplin.
They learned that there had been a rag time composer... a black man... married to a white woman!!! Scott Joplin composed many rags...

I have played for dance classes in some of the most famous dance schools in the USA for over 20 years of my life. WHY?

I grew up with a mother that loved dance and could dance.  I could improvise at the piano and play by ear... I could accomadate any change in tempo, drop measures, add more beats... you name it.  (BTW, this is not a good gift if you perform classical music!)

When "A CHORUS LINE" the musical hit Broadway, it represented a major part of my life as well as what I did to pay rent.

I saw it on Broadway.  I saw it in SLC, UT at the Capitol Theater.  I attended the LAST ROAD SHOW OF IT"S PERFORMANCES IN DENVER COLORADO.  I have a key chain I purchased at the Denver Show. It sits on a sacred table I have in NZ of certain rocks, photos, dried flowers...

I loved all the music Marvin composed but two songs belong to me forever.  "WHAT I DID FOR LOVE" and the main theme... "ONE" from A CHORUS LINE.  Marvin gave me a very special gift.  A melody that would haunt me all of my life.  I have forever said:  If you want to give someone a gift they will never forget............ give them a melody.

I went to NYC in 1968.  Liza was a nobody... Bette Midler was not really known... Marvin?  well?  Brent was there but, they Liza, Bette etc. even Barry Manallow  went far beyond my dreams.  (I lied, I went to NYC the first time when I was 17 because I had won a talent contest!)

I knew from then on that, that particular city belonged to me... or I belonged to it in another lifetime.

In 1968 MAME was the rage.  I saw it with Angela Langsbery live at the Schubert Theater.   At the time I was in rehearsal for a musical review called:  "FROM BROADWAY WITH LOVE".  That story could fill a book beyond belief.  I have had to learn some big lessons in life!

I met Marvin two times in my and his life.  Once in Las Vegas.  He was performing his Piano Concerto.  Once in SLC, UT.  He was a bit nervous because of his Jewish background and the Mormon power.  I told him:  THE MORMONS NEED THE JEWS, THE JEWS NEED THE MORMONS OMG, what if Hamlish were alive in this dimension and with the up and coming election!  WHAT WOULD HE DO... write a fantastic song.  Damn I miss him.

He is one of 11  people to win all four major U.S. performing awards:  EMMY AWARD, GRAMMY AWARD, OSCAR and TONY AWARDS.  This collection of 4 is referred to as an "EGOT".
Hamlish and RICHARD RODGERS... (Sound of Music, Oklahoma, Show Boat...) are the only two people to win this award.  HE, HAMLISH ALSO WON A PULITZER PRIZE.  The list is endless.


When Understood that he had died.  I lit a candle.  I placed one of my sacred stones beside it and gave him my adoration and thanks for making my musical life amazing.

I cannot imagine our planet living without his music.  I love my classical genius's but We ALL NEED the music of MARVIN.  He is eternal.  I miss him.

One can read more about him on line.

change... snow... colder temps...

Yesterday brought snow.

As Robert Frost wrote... Stopping by woods on a snowy evening.  The little horse must think it queer not to have a farm house near... he gives his harness bells a shake as if to ask is there some mistake?  The woods are lovely dark and deep but, I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep and miles to go before I sleep... and promises to keep...

Snow brings "SILENCE".  Snow covers stuff that is ugly.  Snow INSULATES.  It keep heat inside caves, houses, tents...  IGLOOS!  Snow translates into winter solstice.  It defines the meaning of being cold.

Every snow flake is a glorious "individual" only one of a pattern.  Proof that we humans are much like snow flakes.  Each and every one of us has are very own DNA that sets us apart from  other life forms.  That DNA is also a part of our spiritual being.  It defines who and what we are in this dimension of time and space.

Weeks ago I awoke 'round 5 AM.  The heavens were scintillating with the light of diamonds.  Stars.  The Milky Way was vibrating.  It set into words one of my favorite lines from Longfellow:::Then, within the meadows of heaven blossomed the lovely stars.  The "Forget-me-nots" of the angels.  ONE STAR SHOWN BEYOND THE REST... THE MORNING STAR.

When I was a little boy I learned a transcription piano solo of this wonderful aria by Wagner.  The Morning Star.  The melody thrummed it's vibrations inside my musical mind.  I had to walk out into the woods and become part of the celebration of morning.  A NEW DAY.

I have all these topics I want to write about but do not seem to find the "creative force" that enables me to put into words what I feel or am thinking...  Tomorrow is a new day!

A Native American told me once that the best way to live was:  KEEP CLEAN AND KEEP YOUR PROMISES.  I promise I will write about so many things that occurred the past few months.

I am practicing 2 and more hours a day!  THAT IS AMAZING!

My neck, arms, hands, wrists are in pain!

They will be fine in a few days.  Using muscles I have not engaged in months is a kind of strange adventure in and of itself!   I am excited about my musical adventure in NYC.

Goals keep us centered.
Music demands the three "D'S"... Determination, dedications and discipline.