This man PIOTR ANDERSZEWSKI, is one of my favorite pianists. That is why I posted his interview regarding performance anxiety.
Performance angst has literally murdered many a great performance of great music. A pianist performing a recital is a vessel through which music is channelled... being alone on a huge stage can be indescribable. One walks out and sits before a huge instrument... the piano. Your voice is released through your fingers, body language and silences.
The possibility that you may make a mistake, miss a "Que" when a certain Harmonic leading tone will transpose you to the next musical passage... I for one hate the fearful drama.
Years ago I thrived on it. Performing was like a drug. I needed the approval of applause, adoration, simply being one with my ego? In later years I discovered that I had a "musical past" being a pianist. Could I perform up to the glorious moments of my past? The doubt, questions and fears gradually begin seeping into moments of my then current performances.
Up until I turned 55 years of age... then I began to realize one thing: I had an audience of young people. Young musicians that expected perfection and confidence from the moment I set foot on that stage. The responsibility became over whelming at times. I spent a fortune on hypnosis. I guess it helped, but I still had these ghosts that whisper: YOU WILL FAIL, haunting my mind and body, most all my very nerve endings.
20 years ago they started giving drugs for such anxiety. Enderil? I cannot recall the name of the drug. I think it was used as a beta blocker. Ages ago I took one before a recital only to feel "OUT OF IT"
OMG, I would have been better off if I had toked a joint! There is one drug that does help: XANEX.
I know it is addictive? Well, so it milk, Advil, Alcohol and a few other things that are approved to be fine for the entire human race. Taking a very tiny bite of Zanex has helped me with many performances within the past 10 years. It has also kept me from killing some people I know... NO YOU DO NOT TAKE IT EVERYDAY... only when performing or ready to KILL.
I can imagine what a surgeon must feel every time a body is laid on the operating table and it comes down to LIFE OR DEATH? Those men and women have hands made of gold and minds that can let go of so many mistakes as well as the most successful moments.
I know that there are times when I am cooking... (again the use of the hands, like musicians, surgeons, painters... writers...) and I fail to make something perfect. Usually my hands, heart and mind signal me screaming: DON'T SERVE THAT!
I can stop and RE-MAKE the plate. Re cook the steak... but when one is on a stage NO YOU FAKE IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT. Like being naked in front of the entire universe! Fine, if you are one of those people that won the DNA LOTTO you will look so great no one will care what you sound like...!
In all reality we all do this with our lives. We try to live it, but there are times we fake it and eventually the damn thing works.
I love Piotr's piano playing and his music touches me in places I must go at times. He is a most honest man! Hope I am.
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
Sunday, January 27, 2013
past blogs
I have taken the time to re read some of my past blogs. One of my favorites: Friday, Jan. 30, 2009.
The Ensemble. Those years were magic beyond belief for me and my music.
The Ensemble. Those years were magic beyond belief for me and my music.
update on my veggie garden...
Today was sunshine and roses. Tonight will be just like the old song: Moonlight and Roses.
Had a long, long walk today. Lots of gorgeous bodies laying beside the lake and on the lake. Tons of people eating ice cream and cold drinks. I sat on a bench eating my sandwich... sipping coffee and thanked the universe for all the many times I have taken off my clothes, jumped into cold lakes, streams and most of all I was always so excited for sunshine. The endless times I simply went from sunshine into night and sometimes forgot morning! (I usually had a serious headache in the mornings after??!!)
All things considered life is fantastic. I am very happy to be 66 and enjoying good health. I have finally come to peace with the past and hope to find peace with the future. A kind word and Smile do wonders for my soul. Today walking along the beach so many foreigners would smile and say "HI" as they walked by. I smiled back and thought of all the kind things people have ever given me. Most of all understanding and smiles.
Must water the garden! FULL MOON TONIGHT. I will be up all night. The full moon is like a powerful stimulant that feeds my spirit. It pulls me out of any bad mood or depression I may be living in. LUNA.
I am the Man That Fell In Love With The Moon...
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Feeling much better
Ah, I think I am restored somewhat to my normal (what in hell normal is?) self. I have been in a horrible FUNK. Depressed... then happy... anxious about nothing and then exhausted. I hate it when my brain chemicals drop head first into the basement of despair.
I am a "sensitive". That can be a difficult blessing or a dreadful curse. I learned 60 years ago how to draw a circle of invisible light energy around my body that would protect me from outside emotions. Emotions are pure energy and every emotion is felt because of a chemical reaction to some kind of action. Emotions have vibrations and color. They can guide us or destroy us. Music, art, poetry, literature, dance, drama have all played a very important part in saving me from my self. WHY?
When I was a little boy music became my "voice". I learned how to use it and it's force has forever been the blessed olive branch between my mind and heart. I can sit with a musical score and marvel at it's code of dots, horizontal and vertical lines, spaces and mathematics that give birth to sound, color and emotion. I relate music completely with nature. Nature is pure music to my mind, heart and spirit.
Even as I am composing this blog post I am listening to Debussy.
The past few days my body and mind and heart have been out of tune. I have simply not been tuning the instrument! I allowed far too many outside vibrations to set of a dissonance I could not understand.
I could not stand the sound of it inside my sacred space. The dissonance was screaming negative sounds that have no meaning except separation, anger, fear and the most dreadful thing in the world to my way of thinking: helplessness.
I could not sleep last night. I chased my damn pillow around the bed 100 times. I strangled myself with my sheets, I rolled on my right side, I rolled to my left side. I tried laying on my back, stomach and finally got out of bed, walked up the stairs to the upper level of the house.
Opened the door into the garden. The firmament was breath taking! The milky way a highway paved with diamonds. The Southern Cross gleamed like a sacred icon from the most sacred cathedral in the universe... a melody started faintly playing inside my brain... a little melody I learned as boy in one of my piano method books! I started laughing and then I felt tears on my cheeks. Tears are jewels. I know for a fact that when I am distressed IF I get in the truck and start driving and then crying I feel fantastic. They seem to release all kinds of unsay able things. Tears are rivers of RELEASE.
I walked around the garden in my bare feet absorbing the dew on the grass, inhaling the scent of early morning light. Magic. It worked... a healing beyond explanation. I'm good today. OMG, I may do something creative and fun before tomorrow!
I am a "sensitive". That can be a difficult blessing or a dreadful curse. I learned 60 years ago how to draw a circle of invisible light energy around my body that would protect me from outside emotions. Emotions are pure energy and every emotion is felt because of a chemical reaction to some kind of action. Emotions have vibrations and color. They can guide us or destroy us. Music, art, poetry, literature, dance, drama have all played a very important part in saving me from my self. WHY?
When I was a little boy music became my "voice". I learned how to use it and it's force has forever been the blessed olive branch between my mind and heart. I can sit with a musical score and marvel at it's code of dots, horizontal and vertical lines, spaces and mathematics that give birth to sound, color and emotion. I relate music completely with nature. Nature is pure music to my mind, heart and spirit.
Even as I am composing this blog post I am listening to Debussy.
The past few days my body and mind and heart have been out of tune. I have simply not been tuning the instrument! I allowed far too many outside vibrations to set of a dissonance I could not understand.
I could not stand the sound of it inside my sacred space. The dissonance was screaming negative sounds that have no meaning except separation, anger, fear and the most dreadful thing in the world to my way of thinking: helplessness.
I could not sleep last night. I chased my damn pillow around the bed 100 times. I strangled myself with my sheets, I rolled on my right side, I rolled to my left side. I tried laying on my back, stomach and finally got out of bed, walked up the stairs to the upper level of the house.
Opened the door into the garden. The firmament was breath taking! The milky way a highway paved with diamonds. The Southern Cross gleamed like a sacred icon from the most sacred cathedral in the universe... a melody started faintly playing inside my brain... a little melody I learned as boy in one of my piano method books! I started laughing and then I felt tears on my cheeks. Tears are jewels. I know for a fact that when I am distressed IF I get in the truck and start driving and then crying I feel fantastic. They seem to release all kinds of unsay able things. Tears are rivers of RELEASE.
I walked around the garden in my bare feet absorbing the dew on the grass, inhaling the scent of early morning light. Magic. It worked... a healing beyond explanation. I'm good today. OMG, I may do something creative and fun before tomorrow!
Thursday, January 17, 2013
My distress... My angst?
I am living with a situation some people have lived with and some have not a clue what I will be writing about.
When and IF? one's body, the physical body lives beyond it's DNA at times the mind can out live the body? NO... One cannot live without the other. I am living with a 95 year old woman that only wants to go home? She is completely helpless.. She has not any recall of her immediate family, friends or life the past 90 years.
I am watching her only living son go through hell... he cares for her beyond anything I would ever do for my parents without the help and need of some care giver. I do not, and mind you, I do not mean I do not LOVE MY PARENTS BEYOND WORDS... I simply would and could not do what he is doing. I do not change underpants very well... I do not put on make up, I do not dress and take care of women. My sisters can and would. I cannot. His anger and frustration drives me into distraction. At times I say things and then I listen to how rotten I am? I will try to help beyond making meals and doing laundry etc. only to be told I am not nice? Dementia/ the other disease he will not speak a word about It is a word that he will not accept help with or discuss... It lives within the world I am living and breathing within.
One thing: I dumped so many things regarding religion 1000 years ago... I believe in KARA MA. Most of the people that are in my life are because of something I did in a past lifetime or I will do in this life time do to balance help some of the ?????? guilt? Karmic justice? what ever.
I learned 30 some odd years ago that the people I meet up with during my lifetime are for a reason. I know that some are what I refer to as STAR SEED CHILDREN of MINE. They are very precious spirits I knew and still KNOW from many other lifetimes and the thing that startles my spirit: they KNOW ME. I KNOW THEM. I will never be able to live without them. I have 3 precious beings STAR SEED PERSONS... THEY KNOW WHO THEY ARE... and they will take care of me when I fall apart... god willing I do not loose my damn mind!
When I was 14 years old my piano teachers had known me in another lifetime. I fell in love with mystic love affairs that were from past lifetimes... I met people that guided me into places from all over the planet to near by places where I grew up because of one thing: they simply did not know they were taking me into places and situations I had to experience in this life time. I learned years later THEY knew somethings I never could have imagined at the time, in the 60's???
During the years I studied piano with a very old teacher he always said: YOU ARE A VERY OLD SOUL INSIDE A NEW BODY? WTF? I would ponder on this when I was 16 years old... I read "The Prophet" by Gilbran... This little book has kept me alive for more lifetimes than I will ever be able to explaine. I would and cannot ever go anywhere one earth without it. The book. I composed a piece of music for the man and his words. Go to my youtube side at the bottom of this blog... you can hear what I think of the man and his words and art. I kind of knew what he was talking about... then years later I honestly knew. Children COME THRU YOU THEY ARE NOT OF YOU... parents must learn and know this fact. how right is that?
My Grandmothers were not a mistake in my life. They knew things my mother only now knows. They knew how to care and love. THEY DID NOT JUDGE because they knew how to live without hate and angst toward any one. I grew and learned how to hate men with priesthoods, politics, ego and most of fears fear in and of itself. WOMEN have always know the TRUTH. They have always known Forgiveness, and they they have known love beyond the stars.
No matter how one may blame their parents, mother, father, for all of their situations.............. they, the parents, really did the best they could and most of all SO DID YOU and ME! If one can survive their parents they have over come GUILT, FEAR AND MOST OF ALL ANGER. Fathers and some mothers can become bigotted and hateful for no other reason than fear and anger. Kiss the day goodbye. The gift was ours to borrow. We did what we had to do... will write a fun blog in a few days. Death seems to be hanging over my life right now... guess that is why I love 6' Under. Kiss today goodbye.
When and IF? one's body, the physical body lives beyond it's DNA at times the mind can out live the body? NO... One cannot live without the other. I am living with a 95 year old woman that only wants to go home? She is completely helpless.. She has not any recall of her immediate family, friends or life the past 90 years.
I am watching her only living son go through hell... he cares for her beyond anything I would ever do for my parents without the help and need of some care giver. I do not, and mind you, I do not mean I do not LOVE MY PARENTS BEYOND WORDS... I simply would and could not do what he is doing. I do not change underpants very well... I do not put on make up, I do not dress and take care of women. My sisters can and would. I cannot. His anger and frustration drives me into distraction. At times I say things and then I listen to how rotten I am? I will try to help beyond making meals and doing laundry etc. only to be told I am not nice? Dementia/ the other disease he will not speak a word about It is a word that he will not accept help with or discuss... It lives within the world I am living and breathing within.
One thing: I dumped so many things regarding religion 1000 years ago... I believe in KARA MA. Most of the people that are in my life are because of something I did in a past lifetime or I will do in this life time do to balance help some of the ?????? guilt? Karmic justice? what ever.
I learned 30 some odd years ago that the people I meet up with during my lifetime are for a reason. I know that some are what I refer to as STAR SEED CHILDREN of MINE. They are very precious spirits I knew and still KNOW from many other lifetimes and the thing that startles my spirit: they KNOW ME. I KNOW THEM. I will never be able to live without them. I have 3 precious beings STAR SEED PERSONS... THEY KNOW WHO THEY ARE... and they will take care of me when I fall apart... god willing I do not loose my damn mind!
When I was 14 years old my piano teachers had known me in another lifetime. I fell in love with mystic love affairs that were from past lifetimes... I met people that guided me into places from all over the planet to near by places where I grew up because of one thing: they simply did not know they were taking me into places and situations I had to experience in this life time. I learned years later THEY knew somethings I never could have imagined at the time, in the 60's???
During the years I studied piano with a very old teacher he always said: YOU ARE A VERY OLD SOUL INSIDE A NEW BODY? WTF? I would ponder on this when I was 16 years old... I read "The Prophet" by Gilbran... This little book has kept me alive for more lifetimes than I will ever be able to explaine. I would and cannot ever go anywhere one earth without it. The book. I composed a piece of music for the man and his words. Go to my youtube side at the bottom of this blog... you can hear what I think of the man and his words and art. I kind of knew what he was talking about... then years later I honestly knew. Children COME THRU YOU THEY ARE NOT OF YOU... parents must learn and know this fact. how right is that?
My Grandmothers were not a mistake in my life. They knew things my mother only now knows. They knew how to care and love. THEY DID NOT JUDGE because they knew how to live without hate and angst toward any one. I grew and learned how to hate men with priesthoods, politics, ego and most of fears fear in and of itself. WOMEN have always know the TRUTH. They have always known Forgiveness, and they they have known love beyond the stars.
No matter how one may blame their parents, mother, father, for all of their situations.............. they, the parents, really did the best they could and most of all SO DID YOU and ME! If one can survive their parents they have over come GUILT, FEAR AND MOST OF ALL ANGER. Fathers and some mothers can become bigotted and hateful for no other reason than fear and anger. Kiss the day goodbye. The gift was ours to borrow. We did what we had to do... will write a fun blog in a few days. Death seems to be hanging over my life right now... guess that is why I love 6' Under. Kiss today goodbye.
Wednesday, January 09, 2013
Saturday, December 22, 2012
IN GOD WE TRUST?
I usually never post anything political or controversial on my blog however, due to the recent shooting in the USA of innocent children and people that were kind and caring human beings murdered in the name of what? Insanity? Freedom to bare arms? Mental Illness? Because we have a culture hooked on sensationalism of blowing up buildings, killing humans with machine guns, releasing anger and hate by murdering the "images" of things that remind them of their past when they were abused, injured, unjustly accused of sins... I need to write.
I grew up in a house with guns. NOT GUNS THAT THE MILITARY WOULD USE IN WARS!
My father hunted deer every autumn. The rifles were secured in a wooden box he had made with pad locks, just in case we kids got into places we had no business poking around in?
When I was 12-14 I saved money and purchased a Remington 22 rifle. I took very precious care of that rifle. I shot birds, I was a killer!!!!!!!! I NEVER IN MY WILDEST FANTASIES EVER IMAGINED TURNING THAT 22 ONTO A HUMAN BEING? Was something wrong with me?
I went Deer Hunting once. I lay ed the bead of a gun on the head of a deer. I fell to pieces. I could not shoot living and breathing creature with gorgeous eyes and such a Lethe body such as a deer! I was forgiven and told not to worry.
I happen to love Venison. Elk and Venison are two of my favorite meats! I simply cannot kill animals.
I has forever amazed and the fact stunned me spiritually and mentally that a country like America can use such a mantra as: IN GOD WE TRUST, yet use weapons of mass destruction? WHY? WHERE IS GOD... and do not tell me he needs guns to keep his image perfectly in tact? When CHRIST WAS BORN PEOPLE WERE NOT KILLING EACH OTHER WITH GUNS~ go figure!
I was bullied in grade school as a child. The image or thought of killing one of the four bullies that beat up on me with a gun, DAMIT IT NEVER EVER ENTERED MY MIND. I was raised to believe in arbitration. One talked things out... they made peace agreements...
In my many years of traveling, my own regrets and pain, my own joys and discoveries of love I have learned: SAFETY IS ACHIEVED IN SIDE THE MENTAL AND SPIRITUAL DNA OF OUR MINDS AND SOULS. NOT ANYWHERE ELSE. NO CHURCH, NO GOVT. NO, NO, NO!
Minds can and are CONTROLLED BY MEDIA and GUILT and FEAR. FEAR IS THE GREATEST POWER ON THIS PLANET. IT WORKS! LOOK AROUND. TAKE A REALLY GOOD LOOK!!! (in god we trust???)
DEATH WILL AND DOES EQUALIZE US.
Why are America's so damn afraid of death? Why can they not put all of their faith in their GOD and live in peace and harmony? I know, many do, but they forget that even CHINA has made great changes... USSR is not the same country as when I was a little boy... Viet Nam? I went there 3 times. I can only imagine what many men witnessed during the 2nd WW. Remember when Bush had the vision to blow up Iraq? They had not attacked us? Iraq is the cradle of civilization? Why in hell did he not blow the hell out of Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia? blow them off the earth? They ATTRACT US. We have 8,000 missiles that can blow us into dust... into the next universe of? WE NEED THEM.
If Americans honestly believe in the Bible... NOT THE OLD TESTAMENT: Jesus said: I give you a new commandment: LOVE ONE ANOTHER as I HAVE LOVED YOU. That had nothing to do with REPUBLICAN or DEMOCRATIC MORALS. IT IS PLAIN AS DAY, LOVE ONE ANOTHER. That translates: you love and forgive everything in your life. IF NOT YOU WILL SUFFER. That means you must forgive yourself and love homosexuals, mentally ill people, humans that have strange and different belief systems... polygamists, politician's, popes, prophets, circus acts, and musicians...
America is a "WAR MACHINE"... we manufacture bombs, guns, weapons... we cannot use them so let's sell them to 3rd world countries... we already sell enough to Americans.
I have friends with over 50 guns in their homes... IN GOD WE TRUST? If God cannot protect you from a bullet or death? One must spend some time with nature and a trained counselor... hate and anger has become a part of America that I do not like. Get rid of Hennity, Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh, Glen Beck... you will once again give me a Republican Party I used to believe in.
I grew up in a house with guns. NOT GUNS THAT THE MILITARY WOULD USE IN WARS!
My father hunted deer every autumn. The rifles were secured in a wooden box he had made with pad locks, just in case we kids got into places we had no business poking around in?
When I was 12-14 I saved money and purchased a Remington 22 rifle. I took very precious care of that rifle. I shot birds, I was a killer!!!!!!!! I NEVER IN MY WILDEST FANTASIES EVER IMAGINED TURNING THAT 22 ONTO A HUMAN BEING? Was something wrong with me?
I went Deer Hunting once. I lay ed the bead of a gun on the head of a deer. I fell to pieces. I could not shoot living and breathing creature with gorgeous eyes and such a Lethe body such as a deer! I was forgiven and told not to worry.
I happen to love Venison. Elk and Venison are two of my favorite meats! I simply cannot kill animals.
I has forever amazed and the fact stunned me spiritually and mentally that a country like America can use such a mantra as: IN GOD WE TRUST, yet use weapons of mass destruction? WHY? WHERE IS GOD... and do not tell me he needs guns to keep his image perfectly in tact? When CHRIST WAS BORN PEOPLE WERE NOT KILLING EACH OTHER WITH GUNS~ go figure!
I was bullied in grade school as a child. The image or thought of killing one of the four bullies that beat up on me with a gun, DAMIT IT NEVER EVER ENTERED MY MIND. I was raised to believe in arbitration. One talked things out... they made peace agreements...
In my many years of traveling, my own regrets and pain, my own joys and discoveries of love I have learned: SAFETY IS ACHIEVED IN SIDE THE MENTAL AND SPIRITUAL DNA OF OUR MINDS AND SOULS. NOT ANYWHERE ELSE. NO CHURCH, NO GOVT. NO, NO, NO!
Minds can and are CONTROLLED BY MEDIA and GUILT and FEAR. FEAR IS THE GREATEST POWER ON THIS PLANET. IT WORKS! LOOK AROUND. TAKE A REALLY GOOD LOOK!!! (in god we trust???)
DEATH WILL AND DOES EQUALIZE US.
Why are America's so damn afraid of death? Why can they not put all of their faith in their GOD and live in peace and harmony? I know, many do, but they forget that even CHINA has made great changes... USSR is not the same country as when I was a little boy... Viet Nam? I went there 3 times. I can only imagine what many men witnessed during the 2nd WW. Remember when Bush had the vision to blow up Iraq? They had not attacked us? Iraq is the cradle of civilization? Why in hell did he not blow the hell out of Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia? blow them off the earth? They ATTRACT US. We have 8,000 missiles that can blow us into dust... into the next universe of? WE NEED THEM.
If Americans honestly believe in the Bible... NOT THE OLD TESTAMENT: Jesus said: I give you a new commandment: LOVE ONE ANOTHER as I HAVE LOVED YOU. That had nothing to do with REPUBLICAN or DEMOCRATIC MORALS. IT IS PLAIN AS DAY, LOVE ONE ANOTHER. That translates: you love and forgive everything in your life. IF NOT YOU WILL SUFFER. That means you must forgive yourself and love homosexuals, mentally ill people, humans that have strange and different belief systems... polygamists, politician's, popes, prophets, circus acts, and musicians...
America is a "WAR MACHINE"... we manufacture bombs, guns, weapons... we cannot use them so let's sell them to 3rd world countries... we already sell enough to Americans.
I have friends with over 50 guns in their homes... IN GOD WE TRUST? If God cannot protect you from a bullet or death? One must spend some time with nature and a trained counselor... hate and anger has become a part of America that I do not like. Get rid of Hennity, Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh, Glen Beck... you will once again give me a Republican Party I used to believe in.
Friday, December 21, 2012
Queenstown Dec. 22, 2012 The end of the world...
Ah! We made it. All the doom sayers have to know that most of the humans and animals on earth including plant life made it, we are fine. The Mayan Calendar has some flaws appearently, but It did not stop many people from the RAPTURE of building underground bunkers and buying food, water and guns in order to survive. At my age I trust in GOD a bit more than the calendars! Death is not horrible. It is peace and love away from the angst and pain of life on earth.
Spring Cherry Blossoms on a flag hanging inside my studio door window. Nice image of love, light and peace...
NOLA November 2012
Sunday, December 09, 2012
Gorgeous summer day
Ah! Finally SUMMER!
I am such a slob. I did not take any photos, however, my chicken salad on croissants with all kinds of sides was a BIG SUCCESS! I put dill in my chicken salad. It gives it a certain TANG and BANG!
I invented a new recipe for PEANUT BUTTER COOKIES. They honestly turned out divine. I have not baked cookies in years. I will recreate my old COWBOY Cookies from the 60's. They needed lots more butter and nutmeg. I will get it all figured out. Must be old age and the holidays... the cookies?
Loving my life within the Autumn of my life means: I love very SMALL PARTIES. Meaning: No more than 4 extra people. Why? Because I can listen, that means hear what the people are discussing... I can SEE the expressions on their faces, I can FEEL the ENERGY they are radiating...
This afternoon I had two of my dearest friends in for lunch and wine. Karina trained me for years at the old BODY WORKS GYM here in QT. She is a MONSTER when it comes to DOING WHAT YOU MUST DO TO DEVELOP SHOULDERS, LEGS, the list is endless... Now, we laugh at all of the past and muse how enamored we were to having a perfect body! My space suit is just fine the way it is, but I still have to go to a gym 3 times a week? I am SCREWED UP? No, it makes me feel good.
Karina and Jimmy Karina's partner have a new baby. A Jack Russell 8 months old named Charlie. What a joy this dog is! They have moved from the city that keeps rocking and shaking, Christchurch. They bought a house in Alexandra. I LIKE Alex. It is a very NZ community. So they are now within an hours drive away from QT.
My studio window is full of plants! I have to plant the out side wall of my studio with pansies, etc......
We are finally finding our legs on a and within a new lifestyle and planet?
Later.
I am such a slob. I did not take any photos, however, my chicken salad on croissants with all kinds of sides was a BIG SUCCESS! I put dill in my chicken salad. It gives it a certain TANG and BANG!
I invented a new recipe for PEANUT BUTTER COOKIES. They honestly turned out divine. I have not baked cookies in years. I will recreate my old COWBOY Cookies from the 60's. They needed lots more butter and nutmeg. I will get it all figured out. Must be old age and the holidays... the cookies?
Loving my life within the Autumn of my life means: I love very SMALL PARTIES. Meaning: No more than 4 extra people. Why? Because I can listen, that means hear what the people are discussing... I can SEE the expressions on their faces, I can FEEL the ENERGY they are radiating...
This afternoon I had two of my dearest friends in for lunch and wine. Karina trained me for years at the old BODY WORKS GYM here in QT. She is a MONSTER when it comes to DOING WHAT YOU MUST DO TO DEVELOP SHOULDERS, LEGS, the list is endless... Now, we laugh at all of the past and muse how enamored we were to having a perfect body! My space suit is just fine the way it is, but I still have to go to a gym 3 times a week? I am SCREWED UP? No, it makes me feel good.
Karina and Jimmy Karina's partner have a new baby. A Jack Russell 8 months old named Charlie. What a joy this dog is! They have moved from the city that keeps rocking and shaking, Christchurch. They bought a house in Alexandra. I LIKE Alex. It is a very NZ community. So they are now within an hours drive away from QT.
My studio window is full of plants! I have to plant the out side wall of my studio with pansies, etc......
We are finally finding our legs on a and within a new lifestyle and planet?
Later.
Wednesday, December 05, 2012
SUNDAY BRUNCHES
For over 28 years we have opened The Nordic Inn Memorial Day Weekend and closed for the year end of September. There have been the odd years when we were open during the winter season or remained open into mid October because of fine weather and tourists.
I work 14 hours a day 7 days a week from the hour we first open the doors for business until we close. This is not a living hell for me. I love what I do for a living.
I have never worked a job that I did not like. The years I made a living playing piano... I did not take on gigs that were not pleasant or paid me NOT a decent wage. I simply would quit a job IF it meant some kind of anxiety and hell for me mentally, physically and spiritually.
Mind you, I do not escape from problems and challenges within the work place. Work is work. Work should and must reward us in ways that makes us happy. Be it money, acclaim, self esteem.
I did not learn how to play piano easily. I WORKED at it. PRACTICED for hours beyond my own imagination. I made mistakes. Lots of wrong notes but sometimes one cannot learn the correct notes without hitting the wrong ones first!
One thing I WAS A TOTAL FAILURE AT: SCHOOL WORK. HOMEWORK as it is called! I simply hated doing homework. I would practice piano for hours instead of sitting with my books with pencil and paper at hand. I loved listening to lectures in class at College and University, but the homework... OMG........ if the course was being taught by a charismatic teacher I could manage to retain their lectures inside my head, but IF NOT! FAILURE.
Sorry, I am drifting off the subject of SUNDAY BRUNCHES. Years ago I decided to make Sunday Mornings a special event within the restaurant. Change the daily menu and offer a Brunch menu 'round 11 AM until 1:00 PM. It was a success but like so many ideas that are so fun in the beginning they can turn into MONSTERS.
I always know when Sunday rolls around because on Saturday evening after the dinner hours I stay up prepping for SUNDAY BRUNCH. Sunday Brunch at Brenthoven's can easily serve over a 100 plates. I am a very small intimate restaurant and take pride in not rushing people over their meals, allowing space and time for every one's needs but Sundays can prove to be something of a ADVENTURE.
This year 2012 has been such a year of tragic and comedic adventures on SUNDAY BRUNCH'S. I now call them: SUNDAY CRUNCHES. I will not bore one with all the details except for one event which I could not ever imagine would ever happen.
Picture a PERFECT SUMMER'S DAY... Patio is full, inside the restaurant is FULL... drinks, coffee are flowing... Sara is on both stations. She is a brilliant waitress. I have help in the kitchen even though orders are PILING UP LIKE BRICKS... eggs are not cooking on the stove or on the grill. French Toast is WET. My hell, it has been on the grill for over 20 minutes!!! Water will not boil for Eggs Benedict... Sara is NOT SCREAMING, but WOULD LIKE TO, "WHERE IN HELL ARE MY ORDERS???????!!!!!!!##$%%^^&" I am going crazy.
I AM OUT OF PROPANE. In Western WY we use Propane tanks. WTH? We have people asking WHY? We have people ANGRY? We have un happy people. I tell Sara, "You will have to tell them we are out of GAS!" She is not in the least amused. She is very kind to me but informs me SHE WILL NOT AND CAN NOT TELL PEOPLE TO GET UP AND LEAVE. Matt, my "gofer" Sous chef in training says, (I'll tell 'um!) he does!!!
Another Sara comes to my aid. Sara Need. She walks up to my service window and says, "Brent, Bill can fix most anything do you want him to look at the situation?" "Sure Sara" I have propane bottles I use on the patio on cold evenings... Billy Neeb saves my ass. He used the flex tube from the big propane tank and connects it to the line going into my kitchen. Eggs begin to sizzle, water finds it's bubbles, French Toast becomes crispy... I owe the man a big favor.
We lost 30 some odd customers not out of anger, but we could not accommodate them. I was a dead man walking when I went to bed after brunch and the evening dinner shift.
Every Sunday came with open smiling arms full of challenges. The time the power went out. Toasters will not work. Coffee maker STOPS. FANS. Fans are a very important life source in a kitchen!
The Sunday a biker on the deck is having a heart attack. He is 39 years old! I thought it was my cooking! He had suffered with heart problems from a very early age. BUT WHY ON MY SUNDAY BRUNCH DAYS...
The Sundays I RAN OUT OF BACON! WORST THING: OUT OF HOME FRIED POTATOES. I make my home fries from real potatoes. NOT FROZEN ETC. The list is endless.
I believe it is a sign from the universe. I must simply go BACK to normal breakfast on Sunday. Lunch at 11:30 til 1:00 PM.
It is 10 minutes after 5 in the afternoon in QT. Wine TIME. I have many times said: To Goodness and Wisdom we only make promises; we OBEY PAIN. Well, my pain tells me no more Sunday Brunch just normal stuff!
I work 14 hours a day 7 days a week from the hour we first open the doors for business until we close. This is not a living hell for me. I love what I do for a living.
I have never worked a job that I did not like. The years I made a living playing piano... I did not take on gigs that were not pleasant or paid me NOT a decent wage. I simply would quit a job IF it meant some kind of anxiety and hell for me mentally, physically and spiritually.
Mind you, I do not escape from problems and challenges within the work place. Work is work. Work should and must reward us in ways that makes us happy. Be it money, acclaim, self esteem.
I did not learn how to play piano easily. I WORKED at it. PRACTICED for hours beyond my own imagination. I made mistakes. Lots of wrong notes but sometimes one cannot learn the correct notes without hitting the wrong ones first!
One thing I WAS A TOTAL FAILURE AT: SCHOOL WORK. HOMEWORK as it is called! I simply hated doing homework. I would practice piano for hours instead of sitting with my books with pencil and paper at hand. I loved listening to lectures in class at College and University, but the homework... OMG........ if the course was being taught by a charismatic teacher I could manage to retain their lectures inside my head, but IF NOT! FAILURE.
Sorry, I am drifting off the subject of SUNDAY BRUNCHES. Years ago I decided to make Sunday Mornings a special event within the restaurant. Change the daily menu and offer a Brunch menu 'round 11 AM until 1:00 PM. It was a success but like so many ideas that are so fun in the beginning they can turn into MONSTERS.
I always know when Sunday rolls around because on Saturday evening after the dinner hours I stay up prepping for SUNDAY BRUNCH. Sunday Brunch at Brenthoven's can easily serve over a 100 plates. I am a very small intimate restaurant and take pride in not rushing people over their meals, allowing space and time for every one's needs but Sundays can prove to be something of a ADVENTURE.
This year 2012 has been such a year of tragic and comedic adventures on SUNDAY BRUNCH'S. I now call them: SUNDAY CRUNCHES. I will not bore one with all the details except for one event which I could not ever imagine would ever happen.
Picture a PERFECT SUMMER'S DAY... Patio is full, inside the restaurant is FULL... drinks, coffee are flowing... Sara is on both stations. She is a brilliant waitress. I have help in the kitchen even though orders are PILING UP LIKE BRICKS... eggs are not cooking on the stove or on the grill. French Toast is WET. My hell, it has been on the grill for over 20 minutes!!! Water will not boil for Eggs Benedict... Sara is NOT SCREAMING, but WOULD LIKE TO, "WHERE IN HELL ARE MY ORDERS???????!!!!!!!##$%%^^&" I am going crazy.
I AM OUT OF PROPANE. In Western WY we use Propane tanks. WTH? We have people asking WHY? We have people ANGRY? We have un happy people. I tell Sara, "You will have to tell them we are out of GAS!" She is not in the least amused. She is very kind to me but informs me SHE WILL NOT AND CAN NOT TELL PEOPLE TO GET UP AND LEAVE. Matt, my "gofer" Sous chef in training says, (I'll tell 'um!) he does!!!
Another Sara comes to my aid. Sara Need. She walks up to my service window and says, "Brent, Bill can fix most anything do you want him to look at the situation?" "Sure Sara" I have propane bottles I use on the patio on cold evenings... Billy Neeb saves my ass. He used the flex tube from the big propane tank and connects it to the line going into my kitchen. Eggs begin to sizzle, water finds it's bubbles, French Toast becomes crispy... I owe the man a big favor.
We lost 30 some odd customers not out of anger, but we could not accommodate them. I was a dead man walking when I went to bed after brunch and the evening dinner shift.
Every Sunday came with open smiling arms full of challenges. The time the power went out. Toasters will not work. Coffee maker STOPS. FANS. Fans are a very important life source in a kitchen!
The Sunday a biker on the deck is having a heart attack. He is 39 years old! I thought it was my cooking! He had suffered with heart problems from a very early age. BUT WHY ON MY SUNDAY BRUNCH DAYS...
The Sundays I RAN OUT OF BACON! WORST THING: OUT OF HOME FRIED POTATOES. I make my home fries from real potatoes. NOT FROZEN ETC. The list is endless.
I believe it is a sign from the universe. I must simply go BACK to normal breakfast on Sunday. Lunch at 11:30 til 1:00 PM.
It is 10 minutes after 5 in the afternoon in QT. Wine TIME. I have many times said: To Goodness and Wisdom we only make promises; we OBEY PAIN. Well, my pain tells me no more Sunday Brunch just normal stuff!
Tuesday, December 04, 2012
New Zealand at last! Dec. 2012
Driving to Idaho Falls in route to NOLA and NYC. I do appear to be OUT OF MY MIND and BODY. No worries. I made it. New Orleans was heaven, the food beyond imagination. NYC will forever be the center of universe for me and Batman.
House in Alpine first snow storm. We had the house painted this year. It was looking like something out of What ever Happened to Baby Jane! This was not a heavy snow storm.
Arrived in QT a day late. Flew on the new Qantas Air Bus from LAX to Sydney AU. Quiet, and no bumps. It makes for a slower flight, but so comfy. Leg room. MIND YOU WE DO NOT TRAVEL in Business or First Class! Missed the connection flight to QT so Qantas put us up in a swank hotel downtown Sydney, all meals, drinks, taxi fares, rooms PAID FOR. Hell, it would have saved them money to simply put us on the flight to QT.
It is spring time. Pansies are in blossom. Roses are gorgeous. Started back at the gym today. UGH! I remember the days I pranced around this town in tank tops! NO MORE! BUT: I do believe in the magic of exercise and it does allow me to eat. If I do not work out I could be 400 lbs.
Tomorrow, I will begin writing about the events of the past summer. Stay tuned.
Saturday, October 27, 2012
WHAT I DID FOR LOVE...
August is a busy month in my restaurant. I was preparing my steam table... cutting lemons, laying out various things I must have at my finger tips when cooking.
My cell phone rang. I thought , "let it go... you can call back later..." then my blood pressure started to sky rocket. What IF it was an employee is calling about working tonight? What IF it was my mother or father calling? I stopped my jobs and reached for my cell phone. It was a call from my baby sister in New Orleans. I dialed, she answered.
Teresa said, "I know you are too busy to listen to the news, but, one of your favorite musical icons has died."
"Who?"
"Marvin Hamlisch. I know how much you admired and loved the music the man created. He died in
Los Angeles of some kind of lung failure. I know you will morn this..."
She was spot on. I actually choked a muffled cry inside my body! This man's music had an enormous impact on my life.
He was born June 2, 1944. Two years older than me. When Teresa was telling all about this event I heard songs playing through my musical mind... THE STING. He composed the musical score for the movie and of course the top tune: THE ENTERTAINER by SCOTT JOPLIN... Scott Joplin became a house hold word!
I was teaching piano to lots of kids during the 70's. They ALL learned "The Entertainer" by Scott Joplin.
They learned that there had been a rag time composer... a black man... married to a white woman!!! Scott Joplin composed many rags...
I have played for dance classes in some of the most famous dance schools in the USA for over 20 years of my life. WHY?
I grew up with a mother that loved dance and could dance. I could improvise at the piano and play by ear... I could accomadate any change in tempo, drop measures, add more beats... you name it. (BTW, this is not a good gift if you perform classical music!)
When "A CHORUS LINE" the musical hit Broadway, it represented a major part of my life as well as what I did to pay rent.
I saw it on Broadway. I saw it in SLC, UT at the Capitol Theater. I attended the LAST ROAD SHOW OF IT"S PERFORMANCES IN DENVER COLORADO. I have a key chain I purchased at the Denver Show. It sits on a sacred table I have in NZ of certain rocks, photos, dried flowers...
I loved all the music Marvin composed but two songs belong to me forever. "WHAT I DID FOR LOVE" and the main theme... "ONE" from A CHORUS LINE. Marvin gave me a very special gift. A melody that would haunt me all of my life. I have forever said: If you want to give someone a gift they will never forget............ give them a melody.
I went to NYC in 1968. Liza was a nobody... Bette Midler was not really known... Marvin? well? Brent was there but, they Liza, Bette etc. even Barry Manallow went far beyond my dreams. (I lied, I went to NYC the first time when I was 17 because I had won a talent contest!)
I knew from then on that, that particular city belonged to me... or I belonged to it in another lifetime.
In 1968 MAME was the rage. I saw it with Angela Langsbery live at the Schubert Theater. At the time I was in rehearsal for a musical review called: "FROM BROADWAY WITH LOVE". That story could fill a book beyond belief. I have had to learn some big lessons in life!
I met Marvin two times in my and his life. Once in Las Vegas. He was performing his Piano Concerto. Once in SLC, UT. He was a bit nervous because of his Jewish background and the Mormon power. I told him: THE MORMONS NEED THE JEWS, THE JEWS NEED THE MORMONS OMG, what if Hamlish were alive in this dimension and with the up and coming election! WHAT WOULD HE DO... write a fantastic song. Damn I miss him.
He is one of 11 people to win all four major U.S. performing awards: EMMY AWARD, GRAMMY AWARD, OSCAR and TONY AWARDS. This collection of 4 is referred to as an "EGOT".
Hamlish and RICHARD RODGERS... (Sound of Music, Oklahoma, Show Boat...) are the only two people to win this award. HE, HAMLISH ALSO WON A PULITZER PRIZE. The list is endless.
When Understood that he had died. I lit a candle. I placed one of my sacred stones beside it and gave him my adoration and thanks for making my musical life amazing.
I cannot imagine our planet living without his music. I love my classical genius's but We ALL NEED the music of MARVIN. He is eternal. I miss him.
One can read more about him on line.
My cell phone rang. I thought , "let it go... you can call back later..." then my blood pressure started to sky rocket. What IF it was an employee is calling about working tonight? What IF it was my mother or father calling? I stopped my jobs and reached for my cell phone. It was a call from my baby sister in New Orleans. I dialed, she answered.
Teresa said, "I know you are too busy to listen to the news, but, one of your favorite musical icons has died."
"Who?"
"Marvin Hamlisch. I know how much you admired and loved the music the man created. He died in
Los Angeles of some kind of lung failure. I know you will morn this..."
She was spot on. I actually choked a muffled cry inside my body! This man's music had an enormous impact on my life.
He was born June 2, 1944. Two years older than me. When Teresa was telling all about this event I heard songs playing through my musical mind... THE STING. He composed the musical score for the movie and of course the top tune: THE ENTERTAINER by SCOTT JOPLIN... Scott Joplin became a house hold word!
I was teaching piano to lots of kids during the 70's. They ALL learned "The Entertainer" by Scott Joplin.
They learned that there had been a rag time composer... a black man... married to a white woman!!! Scott Joplin composed many rags...
I have played for dance classes in some of the most famous dance schools in the USA for over 20 years of my life. WHY?
I grew up with a mother that loved dance and could dance. I could improvise at the piano and play by ear... I could accomadate any change in tempo, drop measures, add more beats... you name it. (BTW, this is not a good gift if you perform classical music!)
When "A CHORUS LINE" the musical hit Broadway, it represented a major part of my life as well as what I did to pay rent.
I saw it on Broadway. I saw it in SLC, UT at the Capitol Theater. I attended the LAST ROAD SHOW OF IT"S PERFORMANCES IN DENVER COLORADO. I have a key chain I purchased at the Denver Show. It sits on a sacred table I have in NZ of certain rocks, photos, dried flowers...
I loved all the music Marvin composed but two songs belong to me forever. "WHAT I DID FOR LOVE" and the main theme... "ONE" from A CHORUS LINE. Marvin gave me a very special gift. A melody that would haunt me all of my life. I have forever said: If you want to give someone a gift they will never forget............ give them a melody.
I went to NYC in 1968. Liza was a nobody... Bette Midler was not really known... Marvin? well? Brent was there but, they Liza, Bette etc. even Barry Manallow went far beyond my dreams. (I lied, I went to NYC the first time when I was 17 because I had won a talent contest!)
I knew from then on that, that particular city belonged to me... or I belonged to it in another lifetime.
In 1968 MAME was the rage. I saw it with Angela Langsbery live at the Schubert Theater. At the time I was in rehearsal for a musical review called: "FROM BROADWAY WITH LOVE". That story could fill a book beyond belief. I have had to learn some big lessons in life!
I met Marvin two times in my and his life. Once in Las Vegas. He was performing his Piano Concerto. Once in SLC, UT. He was a bit nervous because of his Jewish background and the Mormon power. I told him: THE MORMONS NEED THE JEWS, THE JEWS NEED THE MORMONS OMG, what if Hamlish were alive in this dimension and with the up and coming election! WHAT WOULD HE DO... write a fantastic song. Damn I miss him.
He is one of 11 people to win all four major U.S. performing awards: EMMY AWARD, GRAMMY AWARD, OSCAR and TONY AWARDS. This collection of 4 is referred to as an "EGOT".
Hamlish and RICHARD RODGERS... (Sound of Music, Oklahoma, Show Boat...) are the only two people to win this award. HE, HAMLISH ALSO WON A PULITZER PRIZE. The list is endless.
When Understood that he had died. I lit a candle. I placed one of my sacred stones beside it and gave him my adoration and thanks for making my musical life amazing.
I cannot imagine our planet living without his music. I love my classical genius's but We ALL NEED the music of MARVIN. He is eternal. I miss him.
One can read more about him on line.
Friday, October 26, 2012
change... snow... colder temps...
Yesterday brought snow.
As Robert Frost wrote... Stopping by woods on a snowy evening. The little horse must think it queer not to have a farm house near... he gives his harness bells a shake as if to ask is there some mistake? The woods are lovely dark and deep but, I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep and miles to go before I sleep... and promises to keep...
Snow brings "SILENCE". Snow covers stuff that is ugly. Snow INSULATES. It keep heat inside caves, houses, tents... IGLOOS! Snow translates into winter solstice. It defines the meaning of being cold.
Every snow flake is a glorious "individual" only one of a pattern. Proof that we humans are much like snow flakes. Each and every one of us has are very own DNA that sets us apart from other life forms. That DNA is also a part of our spiritual being. It defines who and what we are in this dimension of time and space.
Weeks ago I awoke 'round 5 AM. The heavens were scintillating with the light of diamonds. Stars. The Milky Way was vibrating. It set into words one of my favorite lines from Longfellow:::Then, within the meadows of heaven blossomed the lovely stars. The "Forget-me-nots" of the angels. ONE STAR SHOWN BEYOND THE REST... THE MORNING STAR.
When I was a little boy I learned a transcription piano solo of this wonderful aria by Wagner. The Morning Star. The melody thrummed it's vibrations inside my musical mind. I had to walk out into the woods and become part of the celebration of morning. A NEW DAY.
I have all these topics I want to write about but do not seem to find the "creative force" that enables me to put into words what I feel or am thinking... Tomorrow is a new day!
A Native American told me once that the best way to live was: KEEP CLEAN AND KEEP YOUR PROMISES. I promise I will write about so many things that occurred the past few months.
I am practicing 2 and more hours a day! THAT IS AMAZING!
My neck, arms, hands, wrists are in pain!
They will be fine in a few days. Using muscles I have not engaged in months is a kind of strange adventure in and of itself! I am excited about my musical adventure in NYC.
Goals keep us centered.
Music demands the three "D'S"... Determination, dedications and discipline.
As Robert Frost wrote... Stopping by woods on a snowy evening. The little horse must think it queer not to have a farm house near... he gives his harness bells a shake as if to ask is there some mistake? The woods are lovely dark and deep but, I have promises to keep and miles to go before I sleep and miles to go before I sleep... and promises to keep...
Snow brings "SILENCE". Snow covers stuff that is ugly. Snow INSULATES. It keep heat inside caves, houses, tents... IGLOOS! Snow translates into winter solstice. It defines the meaning of being cold.
Every snow flake is a glorious "individual" only one of a pattern. Proof that we humans are much like snow flakes. Each and every one of us has are very own DNA that sets us apart from other life forms. That DNA is also a part of our spiritual being. It defines who and what we are in this dimension of time and space.
Weeks ago I awoke 'round 5 AM. The heavens were scintillating with the light of diamonds. Stars. The Milky Way was vibrating. It set into words one of my favorite lines from Longfellow:::Then, within the meadows of heaven blossomed the lovely stars. The "Forget-me-nots" of the angels. ONE STAR SHOWN BEYOND THE REST... THE MORNING STAR.
When I was a little boy I learned a transcription piano solo of this wonderful aria by Wagner. The Morning Star. The melody thrummed it's vibrations inside my musical mind. I had to walk out into the woods and become part of the celebration of morning. A NEW DAY.
I have all these topics I want to write about but do not seem to find the "creative force" that enables me to put into words what I feel or am thinking... Tomorrow is a new day!
A Native American told me once that the best way to live was: KEEP CLEAN AND KEEP YOUR PROMISES. I promise I will write about so many things that occurred the past few months.
I am practicing 2 and more hours a day! THAT IS AMAZING!
My neck, arms, hands, wrists are in pain!
They will be fine in a few days. Using muscles I have not engaged in months is a kind of strange adventure in and of itself! I am excited about my musical adventure in NYC.
Goals keep us centered.
Music demands the three "D'S"... Determination, dedications and discipline.
Thursday, October 11, 2012
MAGIC
I do believe in MAGIC! My life has always and will forever be magic. I simply have to fit into a new and different space. From Memorial day week end until the end of September I put on a different hat.
I hate "LABELS". You are a pianist, you are a Mormon, you are a weight lifter, you are a writer, you are a rebel, you are and you are and you are. I had an old Doctor in Star Valley tell me ounce: WE ARE SIMPLY SPIRITUAL BEINGS EXPERIENCING A PHYSICAL BODY. (Dr. O.D. Perkes)
I do believe he was absolutely right. Einstein proved E- Mass... everyone knows the equation. When I was fading into another world with cancer three years ago... there was a force that lifted me, held me within the arms of love and I was never afraid of dying. I was afraid of living. PEOPLE CAN BE EVIL and they CAN AND WILL DO VERY BAD THINGS TO THE HUMAN RACE, NATURE, YES THEY DO EFFECT THE UNIVERSE!
I believe somethings in life are like art of tuning my piano.
Roger Baker is a MASTER. He maintains the pianos at the most precious musical event on this earth: THE TETON MUSIC FESTIVAL. When I was in St. John's Hospital in Jackson Hole WY. he walked into my room without my knowing. He was tuning a piano at the new performing arts center. He is a doctor for pianos. He loves my piano. He never fails to keep it in a state of bliss and awaiting my hands.
He came by the first of Sept. and I had him care for my means of expression. (MY PIANO) He made my piano sound like an angel. He understands the way my hands fall and touch the keys... he knows I live in a harsh climate and it effects the piano... HE UNDERSTANDS HOW I EXPRESS MY BEING ALIVE VIA THE PIANO.
We need medicine and Doctors to keep us alive. Today I drove Matt to the SV Medical Clinic for tests round 7:30 AM. The moon was at it's crest, the stars were smiling at me... I had to awake round 6:30 AM to drive him to Afton. Buy the time I picked him up the sun was just beginning to smile on me life.
I live within the most amazing energy on earth. The Mountains, the rivers, the sky, the sunsets, the moon and stars. Life is good.
I hate "LABELS". You are a pianist, you are a Mormon, you are a weight lifter, you are a writer, you are a rebel, you are and you are and you are. I had an old Doctor in Star Valley tell me ounce: WE ARE SIMPLY SPIRITUAL BEINGS EXPERIENCING A PHYSICAL BODY. (Dr. O.D. Perkes)
I do believe he was absolutely right. Einstein proved E- Mass... everyone knows the equation. When I was fading into another world with cancer three years ago... there was a force that lifted me, held me within the arms of love and I was never afraid of dying. I was afraid of living. PEOPLE CAN BE EVIL and they CAN AND WILL DO VERY BAD THINGS TO THE HUMAN RACE, NATURE, YES THEY DO EFFECT THE UNIVERSE!
I believe somethings in life are like art of tuning my piano.
Roger Baker is a MASTER. He maintains the pianos at the most precious musical event on this earth: THE TETON MUSIC FESTIVAL. When I was in St. John's Hospital in Jackson Hole WY. he walked into my room without my knowing. He was tuning a piano at the new performing arts center. He is a doctor for pianos. He loves my piano. He never fails to keep it in a state of bliss and awaiting my hands.
He came by the first of Sept. and I had him care for my means of expression. (MY PIANO) He made my piano sound like an angel. He understands the way my hands fall and touch the keys... he knows I live in a harsh climate and it effects the piano... HE UNDERSTANDS HOW I EXPRESS MY BEING ALIVE VIA THE PIANO.
We need medicine and Doctors to keep us alive. Today I drove Matt to the SV Medical Clinic for tests round 7:30 AM. The moon was at it's crest, the stars were smiling at me... I had to awake round 6:30 AM to drive him to Afton. Buy the time I picked him up the sun was just beginning to smile on me life.
I live within the most amazing energy on earth. The Mountains, the rivers, the sky, the sunsets, the moon and stars. Life is good.
Sunday, October 07, 2012
I've got a lot to be thankful for...
ALERT: EXCUSE MY POOR SPELLING. MY SPELL CHECK WILL NOT WORK AT THE MOMENT AND I AM FRUSTRATED. ALAS!
We closed the business Sept. 30th, Sunday evening 2012. Sometimes I do not STOP and just think: I have so much, beyond imagination to be thankful for. The past year I have been so fortunate, and yet I still want to expand more and more and explore so many other things in what life I have left in this dimension.
The beginning of the season was good. I hired a cook... He was in his late 50's and he did a fine job, but had so many other issues in his life. Suddenly in July he could no longer work. I worked alone... into August. That means a lot of prep work... making soups, sauces, baking potatoes, and more things than most people would understand. Then the Universe gave me a fine young man. A 23 years old and able to handle the job.
My staff, meaning girls were pure magic and worked their sweet butts off for me. Business was way up and my health did not fail me...
I awoke this morning round 8 AM. I did go to bed early last night.
It was very cold this morning, but I had to GET OUT AND DISCOVER THE PLACES IN THE WOODS I LOVE TO WALK WITHIN... I have not taken any walks with the magic of nature since I opened Memorial Day Weekend...
I walked from the back door of the house to the highway. The Mighty Snake River is extremely LOW. One can see islands of sand, dead trees, and life that lives below the deep green waters. I walked to what I call the mouth of the Grand Canyon of The Snake River. My hands, and feet were freezing, but I could not stop climbing into the blue morning sky, the mist on the river and the clean air.
I finally turned around and walking back toward my house I turned into my sacred Green Cathedral. I have written about this space before. It was full of the symphony of bird, pine and cedar songs. The few yellow leaves of the quaking aspen were vibrating against the endless blue sky holding a half moon within it's loving arms.
I walked into my kitchen, made bacon, eggs and toast. Then walked up to the house to begin a cleaning project that I have neglected for months.
The tree squrills were every where. I have two that live behind my restaurant. I named the one FATSO. He actually got stuck in the drain pipe that goes into my dumpsters... his fat body did release itself because of the grease drippings... the other squirrel I named Squrilly Shirley... She can simply fly through the air.
Behind the house we have tree squirrels. One was on the ladder we have propped against the house because of painting projects. That damn squrill was on the top of ladder when I came home this afternoon. It scurried down the ladder steps. (I am not making this up...) then ran to the crab apple tree beside the sliding doors in the kitchen of the house. It sat on the end of a limb and began going up and down on the branch of the tree, which is laden with apples. The little critter was having a ball. There was another one in a cedar tree behind the crab apple tree. Cedar berries are not as big as the crab apples... crab apples are about the size of a marble... the poor bugger in the cedar tree could not compete with Crab apple Amusement Parks Rides.
I remember my Grandma Johnston making Crab apple Jelly when I was a little boy. She would hold the sealed jars up to sunlight to see the clarity and color of the jelly.
In Eastern Wyoming everyone has their "secret" places where Huckleberries grow. Where Morel Mushrooms grow... I love it because where I grew up in Northern Utah, we had to drive into the canyons to find Chokecherries... Sarvis Berries... and mushrooms? we left the mushroom hunting to the Ute Indians.
I played Beethoven on my piano today! I down loaded books from Amazon.com onto my I Pad...
I am so grateful I have so many gorgeous things in my life. Most of all nature, music, family and friends.
I plan to write about many things that drifted through my mind the past four months. Life is good.
We closed the business Sept. 30th, Sunday evening 2012. Sometimes I do not STOP and just think: I have so much, beyond imagination to be thankful for. The past year I have been so fortunate, and yet I still want to expand more and more and explore so many other things in what life I have left in this dimension.
The beginning of the season was good. I hired a cook... He was in his late 50's and he did a fine job, but had so many other issues in his life. Suddenly in July he could no longer work. I worked alone... into August. That means a lot of prep work... making soups, sauces, baking potatoes, and more things than most people would understand. Then the Universe gave me a fine young man. A 23 years old and able to handle the job.
My staff, meaning girls were pure magic and worked their sweet butts off for me. Business was way up and my health did not fail me...
I awoke this morning round 8 AM. I did go to bed early last night.
It was very cold this morning, but I had to GET OUT AND DISCOVER THE PLACES IN THE WOODS I LOVE TO WALK WITHIN... I have not taken any walks with the magic of nature since I opened Memorial Day Weekend...
I walked from the back door of the house to the highway. The Mighty Snake River is extremely LOW. One can see islands of sand, dead trees, and life that lives below the deep green waters. I walked to what I call the mouth of the Grand Canyon of The Snake River. My hands, and feet were freezing, but I could not stop climbing into the blue morning sky, the mist on the river and the clean air.
I finally turned around and walking back toward my house I turned into my sacred Green Cathedral. I have written about this space before. It was full of the symphony of bird, pine and cedar songs. The few yellow leaves of the quaking aspen were vibrating against the endless blue sky holding a half moon within it's loving arms.
I walked into my kitchen, made bacon, eggs and toast. Then walked up to the house to begin a cleaning project that I have neglected for months.
The tree squrills were every where. I have two that live behind my restaurant. I named the one FATSO. He actually got stuck in the drain pipe that goes into my dumpsters... his fat body did release itself because of the grease drippings... the other squirrel I named Squrilly Shirley... She can simply fly through the air.
Behind the house we have tree squirrels. One was on the ladder we have propped against the house because of painting projects. That damn squrill was on the top of ladder when I came home this afternoon. It scurried down the ladder steps. (I am not making this up...) then ran to the crab apple tree beside the sliding doors in the kitchen of the house. It sat on the end of a limb and began going up and down on the branch of the tree, which is laden with apples. The little critter was having a ball. There was another one in a cedar tree behind the crab apple tree. Cedar berries are not as big as the crab apples... crab apples are about the size of a marble... the poor bugger in the cedar tree could not compete with Crab apple Amusement Parks Rides.
I remember my Grandma Johnston making Crab apple Jelly when I was a little boy. She would hold the sealed jars up to sunlight to see the clarity and color of the jelly.
In Eastern Wyoming everyone has their "secret" places where Huckleberries grow. Where Morel Mushrooms grow... I love it because where I grew up in Northern Utah, we had to drive into the canyons to find Chokecherries... Sarvis Berries... and mushrooms? we left the mushroom hunting to the Ute Indians.
I played Beethoven on my piano today! I down loaded books from Amazon.com onto my I Pad...
I am so grateful I have so many gorgeous things in my life. Most of all nature, music, family and friends.
I plan to write about many things that drifted through my mind the past four months. Life is good.
Friday, May 18, 2012
Home in Wyoming
Left New Zealand on April 25th. Long trip. 12 hour flight from Auckland to LAX. Hour and 45 min. from LAX to SLC, UT.
The weather was wonderful. Early spring. Spent a week with my family.
The day we were preparing everything for the drive from Utah to Wyoming I began sweating from head to toe... could not breathe, my heart was pounding like a frantic drummer... my mother called 911. The rapid, amazing EMT service saved my life.
Spent hours in ER then over night in hospital. I have pulmonary artery disease... I have suffered with asthma ever since I was a little tiny boy! I was also experiencing panic attacks. Okay, lots of tests, drugs, prescriptions were filled and I returned to my parents house.
Plans were we would leave the next morning for Alpine. We packed the truck with suit cases, supplies for the business and were about to say goodbyes when all of a sudden I could not breathe. What the hell is going on???????? Michael drove me directly to the ER. Asthma attack. Damn I had to spend another night in hospital. Lots of oxygen, relief from stress.
Next morning I was out of hospital and drove the four hours to Alpine, WY.
I am feeling okay. Have my moments, but I am so happy to be back in the arms of these mountains and able to walk along the mighty Snake River.
Will open the Nordic Inn and my restaurant the night of the 25th. It will be flat out work 24/7 until Oct.
I do have wonderful employees and I love my work. I hope to keep this blog up to date during the summer because it is my life's journal. Stay tuned!
The weather was wonderful. Early spring. Spent a week with my family.
The day we were preparing everything for the drive from Utah to Wyoming I began sweating from head to toe... could not breathe, my heart was pounding like a frantic drummer... my mother called 911. The rapid, amazing EMT service saved my life.
Spent hours in ER then over night in hospital. I have pulmonary artery disease... I have suffered with asthma ever since I was a little tiny boy! I was also experiencing panic attacks. Okay, lots of tests, drugs, prescriptions were filled and I returned to my parents house.
Plans were we would leave the next morning for Alpine. We packed the truck with suit cases, supplies for the business and were about to say goodbyes when all of a sudden I could not breathe. What the hell is going on???????? Michael drove me directly to the ER. Asthma attack. Damn I had to spend another night in hospital. Lots of oxygen, relief from stress.
Next morning I was out of hospital and drove the four hours to Alpine, WY.
I am feeling okay. Have my moments, but I am so happy to be back in the arms of these mountains and able to walk along the mighty Snake River.
Will open the Nordic Inn and my restaurant the night of the 25th. It will be flat out work 24/7 until Oct.
I do have wonderful employees and I love my work. I hope to keep this blog up to date during the summer because it is my life's journal. Stay tuned!
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Anne's escape
Yesterday began as most days. The sun rises, one hits the "ON" button on the coffee maker, I stagger around glancing out the windows... ah, it is going to be a lovely day... nah, rain, possibly wind... then the I PAD.
Listen to the news from USA. Drink possibly three cups of coffee. I DO NOT DRINK OUT OF MUGS. I like real CHINA that sings when it touches the saucer. I know I am a really prissy old man! However, bone china does enhance the flavor and over all flavor of food and drink.
Micheal's mother is 94 years old. Suffers from full blown dementia. We awaken her 'round 11 AM or Noon most days. She is very kind and easy to care for. I have written a blog about her 94th B day here in NZ, January 25, 2012.
I gave her a coffee with 2 sugars, cream and her morning mind you only 2 pills! She enjoyed the coffee as I made her breakfast. Scrambled eggs loaded with potatoes, tomatoes, and sharp Cheddar cheese, sliced fresh strawberries from my garden and sliced bananas.
Michael told me early in the morning he had to go to the Hardware store and purchase all sorts of items.
I said: NO PROBLEM! Go, get out of this place and I will take care of your mother. He drove out of the garage just as Anne was eating her breakfast. I told her I was going down the stairs and taking a shower while she ate her breakfast. She assured me that she would be fine. I had put the radio on a lovely classical station... everything was perfect. I bounce down the stairs and get my shower going.
All is well, I have shaved, showerd, brushed and dried the body and hair. Don my comfy pants, shirt and sandals... I walk up stairs.
THERE IS NO ANNE IN HER CHAIR AT THE TABLE. Her plate is clean. Her coffee cup empty.
Once again her "place" is empty!
I did not panic. I simply walked into the back yard garden and gently called her name. Silence. I ran down the stairs into her bedroom... SILENCE. She was wearing a robin egg blue fluffy bath robe over her pale blue night gown and dark blue house slippers... WHERE IN THE HELL IS SHE?
A beam of light shot across my mind. She has been "translated" she has literally escaped death by being "taken up" as it were!
That illusion evaporated faster than lightning. The most dreadful thought flew into my mind: MICHEAL WILL KILL ME! He will strangle me and kill me! He will go insane when he returns from the hardware store and cannot find his mother...
I began yelling her name... NO RESPONSE. I ran up and down the back yard. The neighbors know us over many years... I called them... they were searching.
I finally came to the horrible conclusion I MUST CALL THE POLICE. Tell them there is a 94 year old woman out there somewhere and she looks like a very bad blue Easter egg.
My mind kept making a movie of all this drama. I have a complex mind. I could see skate boarders running into her and slamming her to the pavement. She had possibly fallen and was in horrid pain laying in the middle of the street... I thought of her knocking on doors asking if her parents were inside the persons house... the list is endless and not noteworthy of my telling all the details that shot through my mind's eye.
I have all the neighbors out searching and then OMG, that pale green Holden 4-Door turns into the street called Panorama Place and Micheal is in the car... his mouth is saying without words but the movements of the lips and inner mouth parts: "WHY IS MOTHER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET ON PANORAMA TERRACE??? WHAT IN F> IS GOING ON?"
I ran to the bottom of the street. I could not believe my eyes. This woman is protected by angels.
Philippe Berton, the owner of my favorite restaurant in QT was walking Anne up the street with the aid of a 6'5" young man~ I looked at Philippe and said: HOW DID YOU FIND HER?.
He said he was driving down the street with his partner a lovely woman. He told her, he recognized ANNE! In the mean time a young man at 11 Panorama Terrace saw her and helped her... She still has her choice for young virle men...
My life was crumbling before my eyes! Our dear neighbor, Ann Gardner said: "Now, Brent, you must make humor of all of this..." Her mother suffered from the same disease.
We got Anne back into the house. Put clothes on her... and put her to bed. She slept like a log. We awakened her for dinner because we had guests coming for a meal.
I pulled it off, but:
Someone tell me there are not forces, angels, guardians that watch over us? This woman is pretty much blind. Her hearing is gone... she has full blown ostiopralishs... she walked in bed room slippers all the way down a very steep road... she never, ever fell, she could see enough to know she was enjoying the the colors of autumn and the blue of her robe... ENERGY=MASS... Einstein was right... MASS=ENERGY? I do not know, I think I believe in quantum physics more and more...
Today I chilled out. I cleaned, detailed the kitchen because of our departure date. I did laundry. It is still on the line drying... I walked into the center. Purchased food items etc. I took a ECO FRIENDLY CAB home. I KNOW religions have problems. I am out of that dimension. I KNOW that certain energies are forever with us and protect us from destroying out very own lives. I believe in KARMA.
I have watched the stars and planets from Iceland, Greenland, New Zealand, Greece, Spain, Mexico, Wyoming, USA. From the Gulf of Mexico... from every place possible and I still believe that life is forever eternal and numbers are useless and eternal, when defining a persons life. Mathematics are music. The art of Mathematics is truth. I only know: this old woman disappeared and re appeared because of some force in the universe and most of all I AM NOT DEAD BECAUSE I LOST HER!
Quick ending to this blog.
When I was a very little boy about 2 years old. My mother tied me to a tree and the rope was tied to one one of the parts of my pants. This was so I could not escape, but enjoy the shade and fun of the tree I was tied to.
Well, somehow, I decided to remove my pants. Thus I removed the rope that bound me. I wandered off. My poor mother would have been around 22 years of age. I simply set myself free! My dear mother has dealt with that element of my desire to be free for all of my life.
Anne found out, she did not have to be bound any longer... I understand her plight into the unknown. I only hope my angels do not allow me to wander around one day in my bath robe and I hope I still can forgive and love~ growing old is not a gift!
Things happen only two things: THE MIND GOES OR THE BODY GOES... THE BODY GOES AND THE MIND REMAINS... THEN THE JOY OF DEATH... as a dear friend of mine used to say: There are things worse than death... it is called living beyond your time!
Thank you FDA. I would think most Christians could not wait for the time of their death. Rejoin with Christ. I know too many that fear death. I am so sorry for them. Because of medicine we prolong life beyond what? You will return and and we all must to fulfill our karmic balance. Life is good, but OMG, do not run away from your very bliss! (easy for me to say as I am still alive, however, I wanted to die when I had the cancer... I wanted to die when the Mormon Church told me I was evil... I wanted to die so many times in my youth... because of one thing: DOGMA. Most people will say Brent simply misunderstood? WHAT? I am my own person.
Anne went for a walk. She does not know she went for the walk. The walk was to teach us a lesson.
Listen to the news from USA. Drink possibly three cups of coffee. I DO NOT DRINK OUT OF MUGS. I like real CHINA that sings when it touches the saucer. I know I am a really prissy old man! However, bone china does enhance the flavor and over all flavor of food and drink.
Micheal's mother is 94 years old. Suffers from full blown dementia. We awaken her 'round 11 AM or Noon most days. She is very kind and easy to care for. I have written a blog about her 94th B day here in NZ, January 25, 2012.
I gave her a coffee with 2 sugars, cream and her morning mind you only 2 pills! She enjoyed the coffee as I made her breakfast. Scrambled eggs loaded with potatoes, tomatoes, and sharp Cheddar cheese, sliced fresh strawberries from my garden and sliced bananas.
Michael told me early in the morning he had to go to the Hardware store and purchase all sorts of items.
I said: NO PROBLEM! Go, get out of this place and I will take care of your mother. He drove out of the garage just as Anne was eating her breakfast. I told her I was going down the stairs and taking a shower while she ate her breakfast. She assured me that she would be fine. I had put the radio on a lovely classical station... everything was perfect. I bounce down the stairs and get my shower going.
All is well, I have shaved, showerd, brushed and dried the body and hair. Don my comfy pants, shirt and sandals... I walk up stairs.
THERE IS NO ANNE IN HER CHAIR AT THE TABLE. Her plate is clean. Her coffee cup empty.
Once again her "place" is empty!
I did not panic. I simply walked into the back yard garden and gently called her name. Silence. I ran down the stairs into her bedroom... SILENCE. She was wearing a robin egg blue fluffy bath robe over her pale blue night gown and dark blue house slippers... WHERE IN THE HELL IS SHE?
A beam of light shot across my mind. She has been "translated" she has literally escaped death by being "taken up" as it were!
That illusion evaporated faster than lightning. The most dreadful thought flew into my mind: MICHEAL WILL KILL ME! He will strangle me and kill me! He will go insane when he returns from the hardware store and cannot find his mother...
I began yelling her name... NO RESPONSE. I ran up and down the back yard. The neighbors know us over many years... I called them... they were searching.
I finally came to the horrible conclusion I MUST CALL THE POLICE. Tell them there is a 94 year old woman out there somewhere and she looks like a very bad blue Easter egg.
My mind kept making a movie of all this drama. I have a complex mind. I could see skate boarders running into her and slamming her to the pavement. She had possibly fallen and was in horrid pain laying in the middle of the street... I thought of her knocking on doors asking if her parents were inside the persons house... the list is endless and not noteworthy of my telling all the details that shot through my mind's eye.
I have all the neighbors out searching and then OMG, that pale green Holden 4-Door turns into the street called Panorama Place and Micheal is in the car... his mouth is saying without words but the movements of the lips and inner mouth parts: "WHY IS MOTHER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET ON PANORAMA TERRACE??? WHAT IN F> IS GOING ON?"
I ran to the bottom of the street. I could not believe my eyes. This woman is protected by angels.
Philippe Berton, the owner of my favorite restaurant in QT was walking Anne up the street with the aid of a 6'5" young man~ I looked at Philippe and said: HOW DID YOU FIND HER?.
He said he was driving down the street with his partner a lovely woman. He told her, he recognized ANNE! In the mean time a young man at 11 Panorama Terrace saw her and helped her... She still has her choice for young virle men...
My life was crumbling before my eyes! Our dear neighbor, Ann Gardner said: "Now, Brent, you must make humor of all of this..." Her mother suffered from the same disease.
We got Anne back into the house. Put clothes on her... and put her to bed. She slept like a log. We awakened her for dinner because we had guests coming for a meal.
I pulled it off, but:
Someone tell me there are not forces, angels, guardians that watch over us? This woman is pretty much blind. Her hearing is gone... she has full blown ostiopralishs... she walked in bed room slippers all the way down a very steep road... she never, ever fell, she could see enough to know she was enjoying the the colors of autumn and the blue of her robe... ENERGY=MASS... Einstein was right... MASS=ENERGY? I do not know, I think I believe in quantum physics more and more...
Today I chilled out. I cleaned, detailed the kitchen because of our departure date. I did laundry. It is still on the line drying... I walked into the center. Purchased food items etc. I took a ECO FRIENDLY CAB home. I KNOW religions have problems. I am out of that dimension. I KNOW that certain energies are forever with us and protect us from destroying out very own lives. I believe in KARMA.
I have watched the stars and planets from Iceland, Greenland, New Zealand, Greece, Spain, Mexico, Wyoming, USA. From the Gulf of Mexico... from every place possible and I still believe that life is forever eternal and numbers are useless and eternal, when defining a persons life. Mathematics are music. The art of Mathematics is truth. I only know: this old woman disappeared and re appeared because of some force in the universe and most of all I AM NOT DEAD BECAUSE I LOST HER!
Quick ending to this blog.
When I was a very little boy about 2 years old. My mother tied me to a tree and the rope was tied to one one of the parts of my pants. This was so I could not escape, but enjoy the shade and fun of the tree I was tied to.
Well, somehow, I decided to remove my pants. Thus I removed the rope that bound me. I wandered off. My poor mother would have been around 22 years of age. I simply set myself free! My dear mother has dealt with that element of my desire to be free for all of my life.
Anne found out, she did not have to be bound any longer... I understand her plight into the unknown. I only hope my angels do not allow me to wander around one day in my bath robe and I hope I still can forgive and love~ growing old is not a gift!
Things happen only two things: THE MIND GOES OR THE BODY GOES... THE BODY GOES AND THE MIND REMAINS... THEN THE JOY OF DEATH... as a dear friend of mine used to say: There are things worse than death... it is called living beyond your time!
Thank you FDA. I would think most Christians could not wait for the time of their death. Rejoin with Christ. I know too many that fear death. I am so sorry for them. Because of medicine we prolong life beyond what? You will return and and we all must to fulfill our karmic balance. Life is good, but OMG, do not run away from your very bliss! (easy for me to say as I am still alive, however, I wanted to die when I had the cancer... I wanted to die when the Mormon Church told me I was evil... I wanted to die so many times in my youth... because of one thing: DOGMA. Most people will say Brent simply misunderstood? WHAT? I am my own person.
Anne went for a walk. She does not know she went for the walk. The walk was to teach us a lesson.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Random thoughts...
Yesterday I enjoyed lunch at my favorite cafe. I have written about the cafe in my past blogs.
I sat at the front window, upstairs over looking a very busy sidewalk full of people. One of my favorite hobbies is observing people. The way they dress, the different tempos they walk to, the endless shapes of body parts. Eyes and the expressions the human face portrays. Free entertainment.
I glanced toward the back of the dinning room where an ornate black board hangs on the wall.
Written in white chalk were these words:
"Wine is a constant proof that God loves us and likes to see us happy!" I grinned from ear to ear.
I always thought Christ's words at the last supper were fitting, "Drink this wine in remembrance of my blood which I shed for you..." well, my liver has enjoyed a hell of a lot of remembering Christ's blood... I should be saved with out a problem.
I happen to regard GOOD WINE as something very special. One reason: I cook with it. It does enhance certain dishes and meats. All of the steaks grilled in my restaurant have a splash of red wine poured on them as they are sizzling on the grill. It helps tenderize the meat, enhances the flavor as well as it smells wonderful! Wine has existed for thousands of years. It was one of the first antibiotics. The Chinese used wine for many medical purposes eons ago.
I will stop rambling about the glory of wine, but I did love the words on the wall in the restaurant. Wine is a constant proof that God loves us!.... (that may have a different meaning for someone who lives with a wino!) SORRY!
I seem to be dreaming more than I can ever recall. I have forever dreamed in COLOR. My dreams are not upsetting, but so intense and strange? Some of the images of people and places in my dreams of late are of faces I cannot identify?
I meditated on the situation the other day and realized: So much of my love life has depended on a "GLANCE" of a stranger... something caught in the wind as it were, and the GLANCE returned. Like walking down the streets of NYC and a person's glance will catch my eye... there have actually been times when the effect was as if a fist squeezed my heart and cracked a tiny flask at my heart's center saturating it with love!
I think some of those moments have been "imprinted" into my mind in such a way they are now coming out in dreams... I am not complaining.
The other day my taxi driver was a young man from Timaru NZ. (anything under 50 is very young to me anymore!)
He asked me where I was from, (the usual dialogue). Most of the cabby's know me because of my coming to QT for many years... I never even tell them my address, they simply know we are driving home!
I told him I had been coming to NZ for 22 years. Well, you would have thought he had a live Encyclopedia in his cab. He asked me if I liked the changes in QT. I said, of course! As we were driving up to 11 Panorama Place I pointed out sites that are now built upon with huge hotels, gardens, business buildings. He slowed the taxi down and said tell me about this and that... as we drove along the streets. I enjoyed relating my memories of what was then and not now!
Ballaret Street is one hell of a STEEP HILL. I told him how I used to walk up that hill with groceries and a cigarette in my mouth. NOT TODAY! The corner where the Glebe Hotel sits was an abandon old house with gorgeous apricot trees and apple trees. I'd fill plastic sacks with the fruit and bake pies! Where the Millennium Hotel now sits was a paddock. Full of goats and sheep. I would run through the paddock on my way to the Body Worx Gym early in the mornings. He was loving the history.
Then suddenly a thought flew into my brain: He was asking for "MEMORIES" too young for himself to know and that all memories are only memories of memories!
When I was 17 years old I asked my Piano Teacher all about his concert career in the 20's and 30's~ My Landlady Mabel had stories about her life in Green river WY and San Fransisco during the depression... parties, music, deaths... places that no longer existed... I asked my grandparents about their pasts... amazing things, but I could only imagine and gaze at photos.
They were memories with in memories...
The young man driving my taxi will have his own memories within memories one day... I love my memories, but I LOVE THE FUTURE. The future contain my new memories.
After leaving the taxi I thought how sometimes my mind stands apart from my body. It has many times during moments of elation, depression, tragedy, pain, suffering beyond my imagination... and then my dreams! We ride our souls in sleep like horses and sometimes the horse knows best where and how to go!...
I have survived many situations in my life... I have been lonely beyond words at times, and so confused because of certain dogmas that were pounded inside my brain as a child. I have forgiven and I hope been forgiven because of many passionate and strange love affairs, yet I cling to the hope and the belief everything in my life is for a purpose. It is for something beyond my imagination.
I listen to news, I read, I can still reason... I only KNOW one thing that equalizes all of us NO MATTER WHO YOU MAY THINK YOU ARE AND THE WORLD THINKS YOU ARE:
DEATH EQUALIZES ALL OF US.
No great leader, no politician, no religious icon, no one... we are ALL equal in death. BTW, hope I don't die tonight, but If, just IF I DO, I will be equal with some pretty amazing people.
Enough Random thoughts...
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