Anne's escape

Yesterday began as most days.  The sun rises, one hits the "ON" button on the coffee maker, I stagger around glancing out the windows... ah, it is going to be a lovely day... nah, rain, possibly wind...  then the I PAD.

Listen to the news from USA.  Drink possibly three cups of coffee.  I DO NOT DRINK OUT OF MUGS.  I like real CHINA that sings when it touches the saucer.  I know I am a really prissy old man!  However, bone china does enhance the flavor and over all flavor of food and drink.

Micheal's mother is 94 years old.  Suffers from full blown dementia.  We awaken her 'round 11 AM or Noon most days.  She is very kind and easy to care for.  I have written a blog about her 94th B day here in NZ, January 25, 2012.

I gave her a coffee with 2 sugars, cream and her morning mind you only 2 pills!   She enjoyed the coffee as I made her breakfast.  Scrambled eggs loaded with potatoes, tomatoes, and sharp Cheddar cheese, sliced fresh strawberries from my garden and sliced bananas.

Michael told me early in the morning he had to go to the Hardware store and purchase all sorts of items.
I said: NO PROBLEM!  Go, get out of this place and I will take care of your mother.  He drove out of the garage just as Anne was eating her breakfast.  I told her I was going down the stairs  and taking a shower while she ate her breakfast.  She assured me that she would be fine.  I had put the radio on a lovely classical station... everything was perfect.  I bounce down the stairs and get my shower going.

All is well, I have shaved, showerd, brushed and dried the body and hair.  Don my comfy pants, shirt and sandals...  I walk up stairs.

THERE IS NO ANNE IN HER CHAIR AT THE TABLE.  Her plate is clean.  Her coffee cup empty.
Once again her "place" is empty!

I did not panic.  I simply walked into the back yard garden and gently called her name.  Silence.  I ran down the stairs into her bedroom... SILENCE.   She was wearing a robin egg blue fluffy bath robe over her pale blue night gown and dark blue house slippers...  WHERE IN THE HELL IS SHE?

A beam of light shot across my mind.  She has been "translated"  she has literally escaped death by being "taken up" as it were!

That illusion evaporated faster than lightning.  The most dreadful thought flew into my mind:  MICHEAL WILL KILL ME!  He will strangle me and kill me!  He will go insane when he returns from the hardware store and cannot find his mother...

I began yelling her name...  NO RESPONSE.  I ran up and down the back yard.  The neighbors know us over many years...  I called them... they were searching.

I finally came to the horrible conclusion I MUST CALL THE POLICE.  Tell them there is a 94 year old woman out there somewhere and she looks like a very bad blue Easter egg.

My mind kept making a movie of all this drama.  I have a complex mind.  I could see skate boarders running into her and slamming her to the pavement.  She had possibly fallen and was in horrid pain laying in the middle of the street...  I thought of her knocking on doors asking if her parents were inside the persons house... the list is endless and not noteworthy of my telling all the details that shot through my mind's eye.

I have all the neighbors out searching and then OMG, that pale green Holden 4-Door turns into the street called Panorama Place and Micheal is in the car... his mouth is saying without words but the movements of the lips and inner mouth parts: "WHY IS MOTHER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STREET ON PANORAMA TERRACE??? WHAT IN F> IS GOING ON?"

I ran to the bottom of the street.  I could not believe my eyes.  This woman is protected by angels.

Philippe Berton, the owner of my favorite restaurant in QT was walking Anne up the street with the aid of a 6'5" young man~  I looked at Philippe and said:  HOW DID YOU FIND HER?.

He said he was driving down the street with his partner a lovely woman.  He told her, he recognized ANNE!  In the mean time a young man at 11 Panorama Terrace saw her and helped her...  She still has her choice for young virle men...

My life was crumbling before my eyes!  Our dear neighbor, Ann Gardner said:  "Now, Brent, you must make humor of all of this..."  Her mother suffered from the same disease.

We got Anne back into the house.  Put clothes on her... and put her to bed.  She slept like a log.  We awakened her for dinner because we had guests coming for a meal.

I pulled it off, but:
Someone tell me there are not forces, angels, guardians that watch over us?  This woman is pretty much blind.  Her hearing is gone...  she has full blown ostiopralishs... she walked in bed room slippers all the way down a very steep road...  she never, ever fell, she could see enough to know she was enjoying the the colors of autumn and the blue of her robe...  ENERGY=MASS...  Einstein was right...  MASS=ENERGY?  I do not know, I think I believe in quantum physics more and more...

Today I chilled out.  I cleaned, detailed the kitchen because of our departure date.  I did laundry.  It is still on the line drying...  I walked into the center.  Purchased food items etc.  I took a ECO FRIENDLY CAB home.  I KNOW religions have problems.  I am out of that dimension.  I KNOW that certain energies are forever with us and protect us from destroying out very own lives.  I believe in KARMA.

I have watched the stars and planets from Iceland, Greenland, New Zealand, Greece, Spain, Mexico, Wyoming, USA.  From the Gulf of Mexico... from every place possible and I still believe that life is forever eternal and numbers are useless and eternal, when defining a persons life.  Mathematics are music.  The art of Mathematics is truth.  I only know:  this old woman disappeared and re appeared because of some force in the universe and most of all I AM NOT DEAD BECAUSE I LOST HER!

Quick ending to this blog.

When I was a very little boy about 2  years old.  My mother tied me to a tree and the rope was tied to one one of the parts of my pants.  This was so I could not escape, but enjoy the shade and fun of the tree I was tied to.

Well, somehow, I decided to remove my pants.  Thus I removed the rope that bound me.  I wandered off.  My poor mother would have been around 22 years of age.  I simply set myself free!  My dear mother has dealt with that element of my desire to be free for all of my life.

Anne found out, she did not have to be bound any longer...  I understand her plight into the unknown.  I only hope my angels do not allow me to wander around one day in my bath robe and I hope I still can forgive and love~  growing old is not a gift!

Things happen only two things:  THE MIND GOES OR THE BODY GOES... THE BODY GOES AND THE MIND REMAINS... THEN THE JOY OF DEATH...  as a dear friend of mine used to say:  There are things worse than death... it is called living beyond your time!

Thank you FDA.  I would think most Christians could not wait for the time of their death.  Rejoin with Christ.  I know too many that fear death.  I am so sorry for them.  Because of medicine we prolong life beyond what?  You will return and and we all must to fulfill our karmic balance.  Life is good, but OMG, do not run away from your very bliss!  (easy for me to say as I am still alive, however, I wanted to die when I had the cancer... I wanted to die when the Mormon Church told me I was evil... I wanted to die so many times in my youth... because of one thing:  DOGMA.  Most people will say Brent simply misunderstood?  WHAT?  I am my own person.

Anne went for a walk.  She does not know she went for the walk.  The walk was to teach us a lesson.

Random thoughts...

Yesterday I enjoyed lunch at my favorite cafe. I have written about the cafe in my past blogs.

I sat at the front window, upstairs over looking a very busy sidewalk full of people. One of my favorite hobbies is observing people. The way they dress, the different tempos they walk to, the endless shapes of body parts. Eyes and the expressions the human face portrays. Free entertainment.

I glanced toward the back of the dinning room where an ornate black board hangs on the wall.

Written in white chalk were these words:

"Wine is a constant proof that God loves us and likes to see us happy!" I grinned from ear to ear.

I always thought Christ's words at the last supper were fitting, "Drink this wine in remembrance of my blood which I shed for you..." well, my liver has enjoyed a hell of a lot of remembering Christ's blood... I should be saved with out a problem.

I happen to regard GOOD WINE as something very special. One reason: I cook with it. It does enhance certain dishes and meats. All of the steaks grilled in my restaurant have a splash of red wine poured on them as they are sizzling on the grill. It helps tenderize the meat, enhances the flavor as well as it smells wonderful! Wine has existed for thousands of years. It was one of the first antibiotics. The Chinese used wine for many medical purposes eons ago.

I will stop rambling about the glory of wine, but I did love the words on the wall in the restaurant. Wine is a constant proof that God loves us!.... (that may have a different meaning for someone who lives with a wino!) SORRY!

I seem to be dreaming more than I can ever recall. I have forever dreamed in COLOR. My dreams are not upsetting, but so intense and strange? Some of the images of people and places in my dreams of late are of faces I cannot identify?

I meditated on the situation the other day and realized: So much of my love life has depended on a "GLANCE" of a stranger... something caught in the wind as it were, and the GLANCE returned. Like walking down the streets of NYC and a person's glance will catch my eye... there have actually been times when the effect was as if a fist squeezed my heart and cracked a tiny flask at my heart's center saturating it with love!

I think some of those moments have been "imprinted" into my mind in such a way they are now coming out in dreams... I am not complaining.

The other day my taxi driver was a young man from Timaru NZ. (anything under 50 is very young to me anymore!)

He asked me where I was from, (the usual dialogue). Most of the cabby's know me because of my coming to QT for many years... I never even tell them my address, they simply know we are driving home!

I told him I had been coming to NZ for 22 years. Well, you would have thought he had a live Encyclopedia in his cab. He asked me if I liked the changes in QT. I said, of course! As we were driving up to 11 Panorama Place I pointed out sites that are now built upon with huge hotels, gardens, business buildings. He slowed the taxi down and said tell me about this and that... as we drove along the streets. I enjoyed relating my memories of what was then and not now!

Ballaret Street is one hell of a STEEP HILL. I told him how I used to walk up that hill with groceries and a cigarette in my mouth. NOT TODAY! The corner where the Glebe Hotel sits was an abandon old house with gorgeous apricot trees and apple trees. I'd fill plastic sacks with the fruit and bake pies! Where the Millennium Hotel now sits was a paddock. Full of goats and sheep. I would run through the paddock on my way to the Body Worx Gym early in the mornings. He was loving the history.

Then suddenly a thought flew into my brain: He was asking for "MEMORIES" too young for himself to know and that all memories are only memories of memories!

When I was 17 years old I asked my Piano Teacher all about his concert career in the 20's and 30's~ My Landlady Mabel had stories about her life in Green river WY and San Fransisco during the depression... parties, music, deaths... places that no longer existed... I asked my grandparents about their pasts... amazing things, but I could only imagine and gaze at photos.

They were memories with in memories...

The young man driving my taxi will have his own memories within memories one day... I love my memories, but I LOVE THE FUTURE. The future contain my new memories.

After leaving the taxi I thought how sometimes my mind stands apart from my body. It has many times during moments of elation, depression, tragedy, pain, suffering beyond my imagination... and then my dreams! We ride our souls in sleep like horses and sometimes the horse knows best where and how to go!...

I have survived many situations in my life... I have been lonely beyond words at times, and so confused because of certain dogmas that were pounded inside my brain as a child. I have forgiven and I hope been forgiven because of many passionate and strange love affairs, yet I cling to the hope and the belief everything in my life is for a purpose. It is for something beyond my imagination.

I listen to news, I read, I can still reason... I only KNOW one thing that equalizes all of us NO MATTER WHO YOU MAY THINK YOU ARE AND THE WORLD THINKS YOU ARE:

DEATH EQUALIZES ALL OF US.

No great leader, no politician, no religious icon, no one... we are ALL equal in death. BTW, hope I don't die tonight, but If, just IF I DO, I will be equal with some pretty amazing people.

Enough Random thoughts...

Easter weekend...

Yesterday was "GOOD FRIDAY"... today the day after good Friday... tomorrow is EASTER, then we have the day after Easter. Long holiday in New Zealand.

Easter Holiday is comparable to Labor Day Week End in the USA. Same weather. Autumn, short days long nights with a nip in the air. In USA Easter always translates into SPRING TIME. In New Zealand it is the gentle prelude into Winter.

When I was a child I loved Easter. It meant new clothes for Church! Easter Parades... Judy Garland singing "Put on Your Easter Bonnet, with all the frills upon it..."

The Easter Bunny leaving us baskets full of candies. The long Easter Cantatas, Church Services and most of all there was always some kind of a SPRING STORM. Even snow.

I will never forget reading a book for children about Easter in Russia. The gorgeous eggs decorated in jewels. Easter Egg Hunts... I also recall the photos of MAY DAY POLES being wrapped in brilliant colored ribbons of cloth.

The origin of most holidays evolved from pagan celebrations hundreds of years ago. Religion revised many of those seasonal jubilees to fit into their doctrines... thus we have holidays that are linked to beliefs in Christianity and not the evil of many GODS?

Sometimes I think having many Gods would be wonderful, but instead we get to blame everything on one GOD! He created everything...

We will be closing this house in two weeks... return to USA on the 25th.

HOLIDAYS! WHEEeeeeee... I spend Thanksgiving in Utah, Christmas in New Zealand. New Years in New Zealand. Valentine's Day in New Zealand. St. Patrick's Day in New Zealand. Easter in NZ but, the biggest holiday is my coming to this great country 5 months a year and every day is a holiday beyond imagination.

ROMANTIC GRANDEUR

Saturday evening I attended the Southern Sinfonia's opening concert in Dunedin.

The wonderful venue, TOWN HALL is under renovation. I do hope and pray the do up engineers do not mess with the perfection of such a lovely sound chamber.

Because of the remodeling the concert was held at the Regent Theatre in the Octagon of Dunedin. The Regent is a grand old theatre but does not have the acoustics of the Town Hall.

The concert was titled, ROMANTIC GRANDER and it held true to the theme.

I DETEST ARRIVING LATE FOR CONCERTS! I relish the time to wander around the lobby of a performance venue. Gaze at the chandeliers, art work, marble stairs, walls adorned with paintings of great artists, and the framed lists of families, individual, and organizations who are on the board of trustees. People that are generous with their wealth and influence in support of the arts.

My landlady had chosen a perfect seat for me. In the Stalls Row E seat 23. Mind you, I usually prefer a front row seat in the balcony, but because the concert was at the Regent I wanted something on the ground floor and yet close to the piano and sinfonia. Perfect.

Ever since I was a kid I loved the 'tuning up' of all the instruments before a symphonic concert. The back and forth wail of the strings, horns tooting scales... I always feel a strange emotion during this time when all the various musician are tuning because they are INDIVIDUALS...

they all look different from each other, they are playing different instruments, their ages span from very young to very old... but... then the moment of magic is when the first violinist walks on stage, bows, turns to the orchestra and they tune to ONE NOTE! Everything comes into harmony and oneness. The violinist sits down and then the CONDUCTOR walks on...

Applause and russeling of feet, programs, coughing whisperings all cease and a vibrating moment of silence takes command. The conductor lifts his baton the concert comes to life.

Opening piece was lovely. Lilburn's Drysdale Overture. Applause followed and then the movement of chairs, music stands, making way for the Mighty Black Whale, the Steinway Concert Grand Piano.

Stage hands dusting the curves of the instrument after it was placed in the exact markings on the stage floor. Then a young man lifted on the stage the piano stool. He actually sat on the seat to make positive it was placed correctly.

I consider the piano bench, stool, seat as the blessed THRONE of the artist.

All things were in order. Enter the conductor. Then the star of the evening: DEIDRE IRONS.

This woman is one of New Zealands treasures. She was born in Canada but has made New Zealand her home since the mid 70's. She is my age plus... She graced the stage with confidence, joy and most of all her humble ambiance. She took her place at the piano, put her eye glasses on and gave the "nod" to the conductor.

The Concerto was the Brahms Piano Concerto No. 2. ONE OF MY FAVORITE PIECES.

It is not a parlor recital piece. It is a massive work. The Concerto plays for about give or take 50 minutes... a very long spell of endurance for any athlete playing sport!

A horn solo introduces the main theme with the piano interceding... woodwinds and piano... then strings... full orchestra and piano.

Deidre played with such power and command. Her movements, her hands were so authoritative beyond belief. She smeared a few things, but my GOD she KNEW this work as if were the love of her life!

I always hold my breath, get a strange tightness in my gut when the music comes to a key change into F minor... (then to the dominant key of f major) the piano plays a most DIFFICULT and TREACHEROUS passage!

I was once told that some, even seasoned concert artists omit this passage at times!

Deidre simply 'high dived' into the dark waters and swam through it like an Olympic gladiator.

After the passage from hell... the orchestra tutti appears back to the tonic key of B flat. The movement ended with everyone in the audience spell bound.

2nd movement went like magic... 3rd movement. This is one of my favorite musical themes.

The Cello plays a 3 minute solo before the piano gently enters the musical canvas... the movement is full of every emotion imaginable.

4th movement. Allegretto Grazioso.

I love this section. It is very Hungarian... passionate and Brahms ends it with a little march

them that is haunting... ONLY BRAHMS.

Deidre Irons stood as the audience including myself screamed BRAVOS, stomping of feet on the floor boards... hoots and exclamations of yea from the audience. She made 3 curtain calls... was given a bouquet of the most gorgeous flowers... The woman is amazing.

Intermission, well, Interval as they call it in other parts of the world. Then the Sibelius Symphony No. 5.

I have known people that swoon like crazy over this symphony. I like it, but I do not have a great affinity with it. I do love the swan calls and flutter of wings with strings and flutes... the 6 staggered chords at the end separated by the SOUND OF SILENCE" between each chord is wonderful.

Was truly a MUSICAL NIGHT OF ROMANTIC GRANDER!

Photos and interviews...

I am a terrible traveler in as much as: I have a wonderful digital Kodak camera.

I purchased it years ago in Dunedin, New Zealand. It is a, DX4530 5.0 mega pixels... it still takes great photos. ONLY PROBLEM?

I FORGET TO USE THE DAMN THING! Why?

Years ago when I was touring Viet Nam, people begged me to take photos. My arrogant reply was, "Nah! I have a mind that photographs everything. I can't be bothered with the snap, snap, snap of the camers!"

Stupid me! I experienced 'priceless' moments during performances, amazing people I met, some near fatal moments... well, in my scrap books I have a handful of small photos I took in Viet Nam!

Thank God, the "Stars and Stripes" took photos of shows and of course other performers shared some pictures with me. Three Christmas Tours to Viet Nam and I have about 10 photos to prove it!

I have hiked all over the South Island of New Zealand. I do have pictures and some amazing moments with nature that I have captured on film. I am a devout keeper of journals. I write in long hand on the paper within the arms of those journals every day.

I cannot imagine life without my Mac Book or my I PAD... yet photos evade me!

Everyone tells me I must Skype. Well, I did it once. I did not like the picture I was seeing of someone that I honestly adore and happen to think is very attractive.

Every freckle, splotch on the skin, droopy eyes... sagging flesh! YIKES!

I said NOT TO THIS

TECHNOLOGY. I will use the telephone, write letters, e mail but not have the live person with no make up, no knowledge about what we are speaking endure such an ordeal, which includes myself.

I am NOT a telephone person. Years ago I learned a very difficult lesson: NEVER, EVER DRINK AND DIAL.

I am not good with interviews.

Years ago I made my New Zealand debut as a pianist in the city of Christchurch.

The local television station featured me live on a noon time talk show. I was to be interviewed, then play piano at the end of the program as the show ended... I was full of confidence, and I looked great.

I was wearing a black mock turtle neck sweater, gray slacks and sun tanned, fit and full of energy. The set designers had placed a gorgeous French Press Coffee Plunger on the table in front of me in the attempt to make the scene very 'cozy' and comfortable. I had two TV hosts on either side of me. A piano was off to stage right of where I was seated.

It was sort of like one of those Reggis and Kathy type shows. Everyone is hyper and so glitzy.

When the director counted down to air time I could not take my eyes away from the coffee plunger! The hosts of the show asked me mundane questions and I answered but kept staring at the coffee plunger!

I finally asked, "Where did you find such an ornate and beautiful plunger?" both hosts gasped as if the toilet had been clogged or something terrible had happened... needless to say I had a great audience at the concert.

I played Rhapsody in Blue, Chopin's Ballade in G minor, Granados's Laments of the Maiden and the Nightingale...

Had RAVE REVIEWS, from one of NZ's most bashing critics. The review was printed in the morning paper, THE PRESS. I have it framed and it hangs on a wall inside my restaurant beside photos of famous people I have met or worked with!

I am honestly not so good when I have to express myself by the spoken word. One of my dearest Pianist friends and coaches told me I suffer from dyslexia of speech! WTF?

(that means: where are the flowers!)

Years ago I performed a concert in Boise Idaho. One of my dear friends Shirley Taylor had every detail in perfect order. I was to do a radio show/ interview, early on a Sunday Morning before the concert.

We arrived at the radio broadcast house and the doors were locked! One more time: where are the flowers????

Well, a huge man, I mean a giant walked around the building as we were pounding on the door and said: "What is the problem?" we explained our situation. He said, "I have a talk show about sports and your welcome to be my guest!"

I said, "Great! We are on the air no matter what!" (BTW: Playing piano is most athletic!)

It was a wonderful studio. Everything was wonderful.

The big Football Player asked me when I actually started playing piano. I said "in the womb!"

Well... we got into star seed children, reincarnation but the problem for this wonderful guy was: HOW IN HELL DID I GET OUT OF THE WOMB WITHOUT A PIANO! Many people listened to that interview. We packed the place. If you ever need an agent call Shirley T. She simply knows how to put things together in the most interesting way! I love her.

After that radio show I stopped all live interviews. They are very dangerous. I never know what may blow out of my mouth. I keep a blog instead.

some photos of my stay in the Golden Bay

Golden Bay Trip

Had a magical time in one of my favorite places on the planet earth. Long, very long trip to Nelson, then a bus trip to Takaka. Gorgeous drives through endless verdent shades of green, hills and vales, then when FINALLY the bus stopped in Takaka, my dear friend Rutha was waiting for me with open arms. It had been a full on day of travel. We drove to Sans Souci Inn. I relaxed with a glass of RED.

Slept like a dead man. I awoke 'round 8 AM made a French Press of Coffee, filled my cup and walked onto the beach. The winds had swept the beach clean during the silent hours of night, filled the air with the invisible perfume of sea breeze and the musical movement of the waves.

My bare feet kissing the cool wet sandy beach. I made foot prints in the sand and watched them disapear behind me as the waters sucked my imprints back into the bay!

Such a healing a splendid morning. A couple of nights and days at SSI and I had to move to a new accomodation. I FELL IN LOVE WITH BEING A HERMIT.

Rutha, had reserved me a very nice house, (cottage), at a place called: SAND CASTLE... I have posted some photos, or will soon. A wonderful house. Full kitchen, bathroom, two bedrooms, deck with table and chairs! The ambiance was pure magic.

The owner, Steve is a musician. He allowed me to play his restored piano out of England. Ah! The first time my fingers have touched an acoutic piano in ages. I fell in love with the place.

I could cook my own food, nap when my blood suger hit the basement, I would walk anywhere my feet desired... simply bliss on earth.

My entire time with friends was blessed.

The entire Golden Bay is very laid back and seriously hippie 1960's, except there are so many very young people from all over the world living and traveling through the area. Bright colors, lots of LONG HAIR, markets, and get this: a restaurant that I possibly should attempt to copy?

"SPACE OF LOVE": Vegetarian takeaways. Summer hours, Mon-Sat 12-6pm

Organic Community Gardens. (go to www.spaceoflove.co.nz) GET THIS: SPACE OF LOVE IS A UNIQUE CAFE RUN BY VOLUNTEERS WHERE THE CUSTOMERS SET THE PRICE!

ARE YOU READY??????

The food is lovingly prepared daily according to AYURVEDIC PRINCIPLES from ORGANIC PRODUCE.

Sample Menues:

Italian Calzone with Pumpkin Coconut soup.

Rosemary Yougart baked potatoes with green succhini in Cashew Tomato Sauce with Cheese.

Pita bread with Hummus, Falafel and Salad.

Vegetables auGratin with Basmati Rice and Tamarind Chutney.

Lasagna with Spinach, Aubergine, Tomato and Cpsicum.

Vegetarian Sheaperd's Pie with Garden salad and Balsamic Dressing...

OMG, they even offer cooking classes.

LOVED IT.

Had my miraculaus massage from Yana, spent hours meditating, loved my reading... making music without always a keyboard... being with a dear friend, BUT:

The trip home!

We had to get out of bed by 5:30 AM so that Brentie could catch a bus into Takaka then into Nelson Airport. Everything went as planned until I arrived into CHCH. (Earthquake City of the World)... All flights are abolutely booked in NZ at the present. I had to wait 3 hours for my flight. That is OKAY! Enjoyed a lunch, reading, relaxing. Then when I am to board the plane:

"ALL FLIGHTS INTO QT ARE CANELLED DUE TO WEATHER IN QT!" Everything began falling into all kinds of bits and pieces. Air NZ chartered a bus for all passengers because the flight in the AM was sold out and there was NO GAURENTEE that flight would be able to land safely.

At 6:30 PM a bus arrived. We drove 6 hours in the dark without a restroom on the bus, no food stops or water as everything was closed in route to QT.

I read my book on my I PAD, watched a movie on my MacBook... all battery energy was going down, down, down... arrived in QT at 2:00 AM. THERE WERE ALOT OF AMERICANS ON THE BUS SAYING: "IN GOD WE TRUST!" I was never so embaressed! These were people older than me, and God only knows sometimes I think there are no people older than me! How insane! It was a problem with the weather? NOTHING TO DO WITH A GOD! I have a mouth bitten shut with trying to keep my mouth from screaming: SHUT THE FUCK UP AND BE HAPPY YOU ARE NOT IN DANGER OF CRASHING INTO A MOUNTAIN!

Caught a cab in the center and walked into the doors of my beloved house at 2:30 AM.

Will write about all the good times in a few hours. Must make dinner. Had a great holiday.

My afternoon sourie

I I Worked hard in the hope of creating something different for snacks with wines, tea and coffee... because we had invited some dear friends in for an afternoon of 'catching up' on each other's past few weeks... I wanted something that could pass for a 'light meal' yet have the essence of a simple not sitting down to a full blown dining experience.

Something I could pull off on the patio in the sunshine and not have people sitting at the dining room table...

I baked a vegetable/beef steak pie, homemade breads with virgin olive oil, real butter and different spreads, fresh tomatoes,cucumbers with red onions in a home made french dressing, vintage aged cheese and of course brie cheese.

Lots of various crackers and two Reds, one White wine. Fresh ground coffee beans and PG black Tea. Sat out the wine bottles, wine glasses, napkins... forks, knives. Had all the platters with food on the serving table when out of the blue a wind blasted my entire showcase. Dear GOD! I flew like a spinning Dervish Dancer... I saved every thing including the napkins.

Well, everything took on a different look. Food was set on the kitchen counter, friends filled their plates with yummy bits and pieces and sat around the dining room table.

Over the many, many years I have catered and hosted my own dinner parties I always muse how no matter who the person, they Cleve unto the kitchen and the kitchen table.

In my home in WY I can have a gorgeous fire blazing in the main room of the house, fresh chilled shrimp, cheeses and all kind of drinks in the main room so that people can sit and enjoy the fire as they drink and eat appetizers before the meal...

My hell, they will come into the kitchen and chat away with me as I am prepping the main meal. They will cluster around a very small dining room table in the kitchen... talk with me, walk into the living room fill a plate with goodies and return to the kitchen!

In my restaurant, people will drop in to say hello. Yes, I am in the kitchen working, but some of my dearest friends will sit at the end of kitchen drinking wine, eat a meal and never leave the environment of all kinds of orders being cooked... dish washers working... salads being made as well as dessert orders... Is IT a human instinct? We love to be where the food is being made and the joy of a kitchen table? Or is it a comfort zone? I like it no matter what.

I always bake bread with certain music. You cannot make a gorgeous loaf of bread without certain elements of Bach, Beethoven, Debussy, BRAHMS, Shubert... the list is endless.

I love making bread to the music of David Lanz, Jon Serrie... The vibrations influence my hands and the fashion I kneed the dough... Once, I was kneading bread while the Prokofiev 1st piano concerto was being played by Martha Agerich... MY GOD THE BREAD WAS ENORMOUSLY FULL BLOWN... It was delicious...

When I fly to NYC every year I spend a day and night with one of my great mentors, Carol Montparker Taub.

We spend most of the time in her kitchen which is heaven on earth for me.

The perfume in the room is made of the lower tones from certain herbs, the high notes top off everything... she makes one hell ova lamb stew. Her salads always "tingle" with excitement.

She is a natural cook. She can toss things into a pan, talk to you at the same time and at the same moment release an aroma of bliss into the room that sets ones taste buds into insanity.

She cannot help it. She is a "MOTHER" a caring woman that instinctively knows how to comfort and give support to one's needs. Be it music, pain, sorrow, or the need for delicious food and comfort. I hope into the firmament I have the same gift.

I am always amazed how food, wine, tables, gardens give us beings of nature solace.

My new drying machine...

Clothes lines were a very essential part of any house hold utilities when I was a little boy.

Washing day was a big day. Then after everything went through the wringer it was hung on the line to dry in the fresh air.

In NZ the air is clean and full of sunshine.

Last week I decided to hang all the sheets out on the line after a serious machine wash and not use the dryer. They came out wonderful!

Now most days after the laundry has been washed I hang them out on the line to dry, then top them off in the dryer. Saves one hell of a lot energy and the clothing is CLEAN! Kissed by the sun, massaged by the breeze and everything smells NATURAL! NONE OF THE LITTLE PERFUME THINGS WE PUT IN DRYERS TO MAKE THINGS SMELL FRESH? Sunshine is magic.

When I was performing in Europe years ago the house keeping would hang comforters, quilts, sheets, pillows over the banisters of the balcony and let them breathe in the fresh air. A most brilliant idea. I always loved returning to my room late at night, have a cup of hot tea and then nestle into a bed full of fresh linens. Nature still rules. My clothes are clean!

Baking Bread

We all have our private methods of dealing with stress... depression, anxiety, pain... My own methods are: Meditation, music, reading, work outs, long walks, but it always comes back to a most basic art. MAKING AND BAKING BREAD!

A couple of photos of the bread I just took out of the oven. Been on the phone LD with friends in WY and suddenly I looked at the alarm on my cell! YIKES... Said a quick "I love you" hung up the phone and ran up the stairs to save the bread... It turned out perfect.

Tonight's dins will be cold sliced ham, green salad, potato salad and BREAD AND BUTTER. Temps are a little over 90 degrees F. FINALLY SUMMER RETURNED. I am NOT complaining.

You are welcome for a light meal in the garden. So, come on... everything is in balance. And the bread will make you most balanced.

2 more photos

Early mornings in this garden are most spiritual for me... I feel like those famous impressonistic painters... at times the balance between earth and the firmament makes my head spin... early morning and twilight are the best times... inbetween light and darkness.

Forgot two more photos... most important photos.

photos of the gardens at 11 Panorama Place, QT...

The wind

I am sick of the damn wind.

In my 22 years coming to NZ I do not remember such constant wind as we are experiencing!

Do not become confused by the word wind. In NZ, OZ AND GREAT BRITAIN, "WIND" IS: tummy GAS. Wind pain is like having gas pains in America. We take GAS X etc. over the counter pills for gas in America, here they take "Wind Be Gone" ... God, I wish I could fill my truck with human gas and the bugger would hum down the road... NOT, it would fart down the road. I am writing about "mother natures natural WIND!"

Yesterday I was walking into the center and so help me God, I was picked up by the wind and forced to "hang on baby" 'cause I thought at times I would be smashed into a light post or into a tree!

Wind causes my allergies to play up big time. The air is jammed with pollen, dirt, god only knows what and it finds it's way into my sinus passages and lungs.

The sound of wind drives me crazy. It is not music to my ears.

Rain without wind is heaven to my ears. Like gazillions of musical notes falling on the earth. A gentle rain can help me sleep.

I love watching rain drops tap and sigh against the windows as the notes slide into puddles and find peace within the earth.

My plants love gentle rain. It is as if they speak out, saying: "we want to take a rain bath... please!" The damn wind they hate.

The wind breaks their steams, (limbs) rips off their leaves and tears their gorgeous blossoms away from their very existence. The wind seems to be greedy.

I cannot live without mountains. They radiate a certain unexplainable energy that speaks to my very soul... but when one lives inside and around mountains one must understand inversions, and the wind currents which cleanse as well as travel through mountain ranges.

Living at the edge of the Grand Canyon of the Snake River in Wyoming I can almost set my clocks to the moments the winds will pass through the canyons... They do not last for hours, but they have a rapid tempo.

Here in Queenstown we are situated in the most gorgeous southern alps. A huge lake of ice cold water... Lake Wikatipu. Every afternoon around 4 or 5 O'clock the wind comes up then stops. This year the wind is confused. It simply blows when ever?

In the 70's I worked in Rock Springs WY. Evanston WY. and the wind was relentless. Suicides.

I mean the wind drove some people into insane depression and thus they went crazy. (Not such an amazing fact they built the State Mental Institution in Evanston Wy.)

Years ago, driving from Denver to Utah I spent three nights in Evanston because of snow drifts and endless blizzards driven by wind on the open plains. The day the sun shined I carefully drove out of pure white world.

I had a robin egg blue Volx Wagon Bug... that bug was nearly lifted off the highway many times because of wind. Thank god I used it not only as means of transportation, but a storage unit, place to sleep, eat and live inside. Small studio apartment with wheels. I kept it weighted down with STUFF. Thus it did not always shift around like other bugs.

Enough about the damn wind... it is still blowing.

I should probably go through my book case and dig out WIND IN THE WILLOWS.

I loved that book and read it every so many years. I will read it IF I am able to read without the wind grabbing it out of my two hands and giving it flight!

94 years...

The mother of my partner of nearly 30 years, turned 94 on the 25th of January 2012.

She has dementia, however can walk without a cane, she eats everything I put on her plate and is so kind. She knows the charming effects of the simple word, "THANK YOU!" She thanks everyone that helps her with any of her needs. She is nearly blind, hearing is nearly gone, but she looks fantastic and has a personality like a great actress. If I tell her someone is coming to visit and please act as if she remembers them... she pulls it off like a movie star!

I had planned a simple dinner on the patio for her celebration, but we have had all kinds of weather from 90 degrees summer heat to barely in the 40's. SNOW FOR THE 4th time this January! January 27 in NZ is like JULY 27 in the northern hemisphere. The mountains are still half way covered in white snow as I write.

For Anne's celebration I decided to take 7 of us to my favorite restaurant, "Solera vino".

a authentic French Restaurant. I met Philippe Berton, the owner in the old Body Worx gym 20 years ago. He told me he had a restaurant in town... I had dinner and never looked back!

I eat lunch at least two times a week at 'Solera vino'

I always have the same lunch. Rib eye steak cooked medium, green salad with French Dressing, and French Fries. The Fries are not like most French Fries, you can actually taste the earthy note of real potato and the top note of what it was fried in... Two glasses of Arum Pinot Noir wine, and then a strong espresso coffee. This lunch is flawless. The music and ambiance is magic.

I am fortunate to sit at the front open window, depending on the crowd. I never mind where they seat me. (there was a time I was known as a pianist in QT, now I wear BIG dark glasses, rather eccentric clothing, carry a backpack...) still, the young table attendants which are French, treat me so kindly and they KNOW I DO NOT REQUIRE A MENU...

When I am seated at my table, I can write in my journal, gaze out of the open window and watch the stream of people walking past... I love to make up stories about where they are going or coming from.

I picked the perfect place for Anne's 94Th.

Amazing beyond belief, she walked from the parking lot to the restaurant, enjoyed her Sole and rice, dinner, creme brullee then walked back to the car, chatted all the way home and we prepared her for bed. Lots of THANK YOUS!

My own mother taught me two precious words: PLEASE and THANK YOU.

Sorry, but some years in between now and when I was a little boy I forgot them? NO!

My love affair...

In New Zealand last year I purchased a wireless printer. It worked like magic!

I could down load sheet music on my computer inside my studio (which is outside of the main house.)

The printer sits in my bedroom. It chugged away and printed everything beautifully. This year? Everything seems in working order, I made it my default printer on my MacBook Pro but the printer simply refuses to work with me. SCREW IT!

I went on line searching for a place I could buy printed classical piano collections. FOUND A PLACE.

Nile.com great place. I ordered three wonderful editions of piano music.

Music I was longing to fall in love with again as well as my forever on going study of certain masterpieces which I doubt I will ever perform in this life time, however, they provide eternal exploration and adventure for my mind, body and spirit.

Last night I sat up in bed drinking a cup of green and melodic (get that, melodic!) berry tea. It is delicious. I read every night before falling asleep. In NZ this year I have been reading classics.

Last night I came to end of Wurthering Heights. God, what a convoluted love affair as well as the story takes place in a rather a dark place on earth... No problem. I slept like a dead man.

Awoke at 7 AM feeling great.

Made a pot of strong coffee... sat in the garden, meditating, ate a very light breakfast, then I took a forked tool and began loosening the soil around my amazing tomato plants and carrots, potatoes and herbs allowing the soil to breathe and absorb all the water, air, shade and most of sunlight during the day, starlight at night and love the rose bushes and pansies share with such nutritious plants.

Did the gym... I am like the book by Hemingway: "The Old Man and The Sea" only thing? I am the old man and the gym. After returning home the need for the piano became intense.

I indulged myself beyond imagination working out melodic phrases, harmonic structure of chords and hidden voices within the undercurrents of such works of art.

The new, virgin, un marked pages of musical manuscripts invited me to grab my RED PEN and begin marking places that demand my attention...

Debussy will forever haunt me. His box of multi colored tones of musical paint takes my mind to places where words do not exist. Chopin can express emotions I cannot explain and Beethoven simply reaches into the universe of eternity. The secret language of the spheres.

Experiencing any kind of creativity can eclipse the invention of "time".

After some time at the keyboard I wondered why my right shoulder was aching? Well? go figure? Walked out of my studio door into the sunshine and breathed a prayer of gratitude to the universe for giving me such a gift and the time to indulge myself with it's gorgeous influences. (when I am home in WY. I suffer guilt IF I am not working thus... I suffer)

I thank my lucky stars that I have friends that are artists of the first rank and they accept me and my quirks, limitations as well weaknesses. These angels are sculptures, painters, musicians, poets, writers, chefs, massage therapists, healers, clairvoyants, eccentrics and most of all passionate people.

I have had many love affairs in my life... (too many to write about?????)

but the one constant in my life has been my love affair with music and the written language by which we humans record it.

Horizontal lines, vertical lines, mathematics, written language... the formulas are endless. PHYSICS! I will never get over the love affair. I pray it never gets over me!!!

becoming older and older

I took a break from the gym during the holiday madness... Today I started back.

For ever 30 + years I have worked out faithfully. I believe that exercise keeps the body within a reasonable state of good health. I do know for a fact weight training can save one's emotional and spiritual being. If for no other reason it releases stress.

Years ago I would be so upset or crazy with anger I would simply lift the weights as if they were the neck of the person I wanted to choke to death.

It worked this way: most of the people are dead now because of their own actions or still alive because I took my anxiety out on IRON and MUSIC... (I should write a song Iron & Music)

I have been having inner conversations with my body and soul regarding my right leg.

I figured I needed another knee replacement! Today I changed my mind. Reason: I remember exactly the day I knelt down on my knees and it felt as though I had a thousand nails hammered into the knee cap of my left leg. I was in the QT GYM. I rolled on my side, grabbing my knee and screaming.

I was in denial, but I knew the knee was a problem. Well, today I realized it is the damn arthritis playing up in the right leg along with the sciatica joining in... my left knee never went numb... the pain in my left knee never radiated down the outside of my leg...

I had my left elbow "cleaned up" by a surgeon from Auckland about three years ago. It was pooling fluids and the pain... well, I had many, many injections of Cortisone in that elbow for years.

The drug killed the triceps muscle's. Every time I would go for advice in the states they avoided the issue and I know why: FOR FEAR THAT I WOULD LOOSE MY ABILITY TO PLAY PIANO... Well, I proved that theory wrong.

The surgeon from Auckland cleaned out all the "CRAP" from the arthritis and scar tissue. He told me I would play the piano fine... I would not be able to PRO NATE my left arm... like press it against a wall etc. He was 100% spot on. To this day I am pain free in that elbow. I am slowly re birthing my triceps muscle. I am finally able to straighten the arm out in front of me.

I wear long sleeved shirts because IF I DON'T people stare at me. My right arm is a well built arm. My left arm is tooth pick. It is growing. I still love my Left Arm, Hand and it is coming right!

Years and years ago... I recall older people telling telling me: "YOUR DAY WILL COME!"

Hell, they were right! I have known people that live on vegetarian diets, high protein diets, exercise... pray, meditate, live the WORD OF WISDOM to the MAX and still fall apart. I think death must be a very big part of our learning process and many of us no longer can accept the fact we will grow old and die! YIKES. ('cause nobody knows what death is unless they experience it... just like birth... do you remember the moment of your birth??? possibly death is a birth????)

Now I am over so many issues. I really do not care about a lot of "STUFF" that ruled my life for 40 years.

I am over mountains of GUILT, FEAR and LOATHING. I work hard. But when I am on holiday as now... well, I sleep when I want and I get up when I want... (Peter Pan?) I eat what I want and I walk where I want... I read all kinds of books, eat foods that my body tells me it needs and most of all I love.

I love my past even though it is no longer a part of my present life. I love people that are no longer with me in physical bodies, but forever with me in my heart and the spirit of love.

Possibly becoming older is a gift that only certain people ever enjoy. I live with a 94 year old woman that was a power beyond words years ago. She now suffers dementia beyond belief.

I wonder if it is Karmic or simply science?

OH BTW, SOPHIA RAN OFF. She is with her baby kittens. Story of my life: THEY RUN AWAY FROM ME...

SOPHIA

Last year we took in a cat named Sophia. I love the name Sophia.

Yesterday a young woman delivered a cat we can care for in the coming weeks. Well, her markings and green eyes are exactly like Sophia the cat from last year!!

She never stopped wailing and talking cat language. The birds that have been loving our gardens took off in hysterical flight. I do hope the Tui returns in the morning. No bird has such a song.

I also adore the song of the Bell Birds.

Sophie finally settled down. Found the bed in the guest room most adaptable to her needs. We had closed all windows and doors. Keeping her under lock & Key for about 3 days.

This morning I wake up and there no Sophia to be found anywhere in this house! Anne had awaken in the night to the cat's cry and let the damn cat out of the bag, as they say! Then Anne went straight back to bed!

Well, I simply resigned myself to the fact the cat did not love us and had run back to her previous habitat... as I was sipping my morning coffee I heard her wailing at the front door.

She is no fool this cat. She had spent the night marking her space around the property, sitting in the window sills and clawing at doors to find a way into the house. I opened the door and she JUMPED into my arms. (thank god, I did not at the moment have a cup of hot coffee in my hand).

She belongs at 11 Panorama Place. When I returned home after a long walk out to St. Omer Park she was on my bed. I nudged her aside for my much needed "lay down nap", she rolled into a cuddly ball on my tummy.

Thus, I just kissed my sweet allergy free sinuses goodbye. Back to the dripping nose. But the gift of "UNCONDITIONAL LOVE" is worth every moment. Fur People are the sacred messengers that carry love to all of crazy human beings. Stay tunned for more about Sophia.

My Deals with GOD... 2012

Yesterday was absolute magic.

We had neighbors in later in the evening for snacks, drinks and wild conversation.

I made a great dinner for summer: Tender Roast Beef, Potato Salad, home made breads and fresh tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers, avocados and hummus. We then proceeded to indulge in cheeses, nuts, crackers, drinks and wine.

The Fire Works Show in Queenstown was fantastic. For the Grand Finale they shot a blast into the open sky and it formed a red heart! Then the heart began shooting all kinds of spirals and darts out into the universe. It was pure love! 2012 came in with a bang.

Round 2:00 AM went to bed... during the night a huge painting on the wall in the bedroom came off the wall crashing like a bomb on the floor. I awoke thinking we had been attacked. COULD NOT GET BACK TO SLEEP. DHAAAHHHH....

I learned years ago: never ever drink after 8 or 9 PM. The body goes into over drive cleansing the liver etc. Well, at 7:30 AM I got out of bed, made STRONG coffee and PROMISED GOD ONE MORE TIME: If you will simply take away this awful feeling inside my body I will never ever do anything bad again. It worked. I am fine. (Thank God for DRUGS...)

In my 65 years living on this planet I have made so many DEALS WITH GOD it is unimaginable that the heavens have not tossed me out for ever. (but on the other hand I believe god has made some strange deals with me???)

Today is gorgeous. The lake is like a mirror. Perfect summer weather.

Best part of today:

We had a cat delivered! She is gorgeous. Fur people forever help and guide me through this existence. They only offer UN CONDITIONAL LOVE on the HIGHEST LEVEL.

I've written before in my blogs about 2012... so lets see what happens. May all our dreams come true in 2012.

My Kiwi Xmax Kitchen...

Today is the day after BOXING DAY IN NZ. I took this photo of my kitchen here in the summer house in NZ because: it expresses apart of myself. This was taken after a gorgeous dinner.

It shows: Half a glass of Pinot Noir, half of a beautiful NZ Christmas Ham I glazed in apricots and oranges.

Half of myself standing taking the photo! (not really!)

In NZ most Kiwis, on Xmas day have a Christmas Breakfast or Luncheon/Bar-B-Que because it is summer in this part of he world!

I however do it different. I like my Xmas Dinner in the evening. Same with Thanksgiving Dinner.

My family in Utah are very traditional and do all these events between noon and 1:00PM. Why do I chose evening? Because: I have for far too many years cooked in restaurants and evening meals are my favorite except for I do love breakfast late in the morning all by my self!

Yep, I am a selfish man. I deserve to be.

This year I had two guests in. One lives on the left side of our house the other two or three doors down the street. We got together round 6 PM had yummy cheeses, breads, assorted nuts and wines... then dinner was: A wonderful baked ham. I glazed in apricot and orange with yams. Boiled potatoes, onions, greens, carrots, courgettes, topped with honey, dill and cream fresh. French and Cibatta breads and NZ REAL BUTTER. Dessert was strawberries and cream, but we settled for Christmas Fruit Cake and brandy.

Boxing Day I treated everyone to a day on the Lake. We boarded the old steamer Eranslaw and steamed over to Walter Peak. Had a wonderful Bar-B-Que Luncheon... watched the farm show, the shearing of sheep and of course the sheep dogs! are the most spiritual of creatures.

The ride back was divine. BLUE SKIES, MOUNTAINS, BLUE WATER, HOT SUN and a piano player on the ship that played songs only my grandparents would ever know every word and melody. Twas magic. Left QT at round 11:30 AM returned round 4:00 PM.

Will write about ever so many other things that have been pressing on my weak mind and body but had to share joy. NEW YEARS WILL BE BEYOND BELIEF THIS YEAR. Stay Tuned.

Last year... this year! Xmas Dinner.

New board to view, new kind of plant life

Ah, I finally did it. Took down the cork board that holds so many phone numbers, cards, photos and anything that cannot find a place on a shelf or on the floor... cleaned it up. I like it.

This year I changed my idea of plant life inside my wee space. Instead of the usual house plants I chose all kinds of interesting little creatures. They seem to be thriving. Plants have the gift of telling me very bluntly how I am doing emotionally and spiritually. I learned how the sacred communication between living plants and human beings can be a very special blessing from the universe many years ago.

Some indoor plants are best LEFT ALONE.

They are able to be at peace and grown according to their DNA when nothing interferes with their natural state of being... other plants NEED ME. They harmonize to certain composers... they need my fingers to pet their stems and whisper against their leaves... they react to weather, sound, color and any movement... We live on a green planet. Green is a healing color. It is the color of the heart chakra. Green and pale orange... faded saffron are my favorite color combinations.

I carried all of my sacred Quartz Crystals from NZ back to Wyoming last year. Now I will begin an adventure in search of certain gems of frozen light. I will cleanse them and regenerate their vibrational energy.

new look in the studio/lab

I think we are what we always will be????

The past few days I have reflected on many adventures and horrific moments that have occurred in my life.

Some have been so painful I can never write about them, even at this late point in my life, but other moments have been perfect magic!

We all must learn the lessons and move on, but, being a very old NEW AGE person... I still keep crystals around me. I cleanse them, I re set their vibrations... I still lite incense, and meditate every day!

I am not a person that can see other peoples energy colors... I do not have visions, but I DO FEEL VIBRATIONS. I will forever maintain that I am a VIBRATIONALIST.

I can walk into a room and within a heart beat FEEL if the energy in the room is balanced, full of anger, angst, pain, joy...

I am a hermit. I could ever so easily live my own life alone and in peace... as long as I have:

Kind people that watch over me, certain foods, lots of wines, certain drugs, music, poetry, books to read and write and most of all nature and music of the spheres.

When I am in WY. my most spiritual moments are when a deer stands alone gazing at my window... when a bird only sings for my ears.

When pine trees and cedar trees radiate their perfume into my lungs.

Like paintbrushes, I try to find and swallow the last pulse, and try to stay alive. I want to feel however what a worm feels it is satisfaction.

I awoke this morning at 2:30 am to the music of gentle rain on the roof. It called me up the stairs to the open patio. There it danced and sang it's melodies. I poured a cup of red wine and sat for one solid hour talking to the rain.

Life is magic. I thank the universe for the open cells of my body that can accept nature, the open parts of my mind that can rejoice in the sounds and colors of nature. I am at peace.

AT LAST...

The year was wonderful. I trained a dear angel to be my soi chef. She became the part of myself I never express because I lock that self so deeply inside my heart and brain, then when self cannot stand restraint it explodes into a deluge of angst and ugly words... thus she saved me. Sprit guided me and she into perfection.

Business was good. My restaurant danced to "steady Eddy"... meaning: Equilibrium, balance, center, I did not allow humongous parties of more than 10 people... I kept things at a tempo I could play with... Most of my help were reliable and propped me up.

The photos are of the dinning room the night after I closed for the season. I always have a steak dinner for friends. I actually had the entire restaurant filled with candle light. (candle light is a sacred vibration for me) Lots of delicious wines and spirits.

Next photo is of the first snow fall outside my window in Alpine, WY. Magic when the autumn leaves are in cosmic radiance and then the silence of snow upon leaves that have fallen to their death... only to be reincarnated once again in soil that will feed more trees, seeds, there is no death... observe nature.

It seemed as if we would never get our butts out of Alpine. We finally did round 6-7 PM. Had to stop at friends and say goodbyes... then from Afton WY to Evanston WY dense fog.

I do not have a problem driving at night, but I do hate fog. Growing up in Davis County, UT. we lived near the Great Salt Lake... INVERSIONS... fog was a dangerous demon. One could be driving in blind fog only to suddenly drive into a crystal clear sky... I managed the trip to Utah from WYOMING fine, but we arrived at my parents home round 3 AM.

Thanksgiving is a way far overrated holiday in my book. Tooooo much food, toooooo much labor involved and TENSION beyond words. Got through it fine. Then the Xmas decorations.

My mother could open a shop with only Xmas Decorations. She has millions of things that blink, sparkle, need bulbs, wires, connections... we did what we could to make it happen.

The flight to NZ. Longer than the roads to hell... but WORTH EVERY ACHE AND PAIN.

Flying is not what is used to be. NO LONGER DO I DRESS OR MAKE ANY ATTEMPT TO LOOK NICE. Soft clothing, slip on shoes, no jewelry. When you are trying to get a 94 year old woman through security as well as yourself and friends... computers, cell phones, I pads, the wee bag of gels. That is by far enough. We made it. Qantas is a great airline, but I do hate the food.

The seats are made out of cement. I took one of those famous sleeping pills in America:

starts with an A... I was awake all night!!!!!!!!!!!! Last year I tried one but I had my meal before I took it and the Doc said that is why it did not work!

WTF I need something to eat before I sleep... well, I did not eat a meal and the damn pill still did not work. I'm calling the FDA one more time... these things are not cheap

12 hours later we landed in Auckland. HOME... (well, my 2ND home away from home) then the rush to domestic flights. Landed in QT at 2:00 PM. GORGEOUS MOUNTAINS, WATER, SKY.

The house was perfect. I can now sleep until noon. I can be awake all night. I can get up early and walk all morning. I can play piano when I want. I can read millions of words that create books inside my I Pad or Nook. I can doooooooooo any damn thing I WANT OR NEED TO DO.

Will post tomorrow about my goals this year. Every year I set certain goals that I want to attain when I am blest with this freedom to explore and do more, more, more. Life is good.

Leaving Wyoming... NZ 2011-2012

Bryan's Song

Today one of my dearest musical brothers crossed over...  He was my bass player for years and recorded three Cd's with me...

Making music with someone else is a bliss beyond explanation, especially IF you are fortunate to touch a place within the universe where you can "groove" on the same vibration.

Bryan and I began making music years ago.  We would rehearse in his basement.  He had mostly played Rock n Roll and Country.  I took him into jazz and standard classics.  He was a fast study and could read my mind.  We formed a trio years ago, piano, bass and drums, then it evolved into a quartet.  He was a man of few words, but when he did have something to say, my God, he said something.  I envied his ability to honestly SAY SOMETHING OF VALUE and MEANING.

Tonight as I lite a candle and opened the Tao Te Ching the book fell open to the 56th verse...
                 
                  "Those who know do not talk.  Those who talk do not know.  Keep your mouth closed.
                     Guard your senses.  Temper your sharpness.  Simplify your problems.  Mask  your
                      Brightness.  Be at one with the dust of the earth.  This is primal union.
                       He who has achieved this state is unconcerned with friends and enemies,  with good and
                        and Harm, with honor and disgrace.  THIS THEREFORE IS THE HIGHEST
                         STATE OF MAN."

Bryan lived the above words perfectly and his wife, was a living angel.  The woman was his twin soul
mate.  She never, ever left his side, except for one night recently when she went to JH and he came to
dinner at my restaurant for a after closing party.

I could write forever about the moments we shared musically.  He will forever be with those of us that knew the beauty and joy this man could share.

If in the twilight of memory we should meet once more, we shall speak again together and you shall sing to me a deeper song... and if our hands should meet in another dream, we shall build another tower in the sky...

Play and sing your songs...  miss you but will soon be where you are...

I am a free man, kinda like! 2012

We finally closed the business for the year 2011. What a fantastic year. I will be writing about far too many adventures into the spirit, present, past and beyond belief regarding all the minute things that occurred this past year since JUNE through SEPTEMBER.

I have been asked at least 100 times this season about 2012. December 21, 2012! The end of world as we know it, some comet Elenine sailing into the earth and destroying it... PLANET X which I have studied the past few years... is quite amazing.

Ever since I was a little boy I have been fascinated my the heavens... stars and moon, sun rise and sun set. I visit the International Space Station almost every day when I am in NZ. (I have the time to enjoy the moments minus time tables) There is NO SUCH THING AS TIME. It was invented as a way to mark events and episodes within out life and the happenings on earth. IN REALITY: the past, present and future are all happening at once. I am living with a woman 93 years old who is suffering full blown dementia, however, her "space suit" (her body) is doing fine because of science and chemistry. I work with kids between 14 and 21 years of age. Talk about past, present and future... spend a few hours in my kitchen.

This I know, or I should say I have learned. For the first time in 26,000 years our solar system will be in direct alignment with the center of our galaxy. The distance between our planet and center of the galaxy will be approximately 26,000 light years. The average life span of a human being is 26,000 days.According to many things I have read over the years these are facts supported by those who study the heavens.

On December 21,2012, the precession of the equinoxes will end and a new precession will begin. The great cycle began in August 3014 BCE, the approximate time of the first Egyptian hieroglyphics. The great cycle will end on December 21,2012, when our sun will move into direct alignment with the equator of the Milky Way galaxy. Most scientists acknowledges this galactic alignment will occur and the Mayan Calendar marks the event.

What will this all mean? Will it mean a POLAR SHIFT as some have predicted and have written.... the sun will rise in the south and set in the north? Some computers predict that a magnetic pole reversal could bring about the end of civilization, and worse that the Earth would be left with NO MAGNETIC FIELD AT ALL! We have not a clue what happened 26,000 years ago when the last alignment occurred.

The Mayan people and their culture came suddenly and left suddenly, after three hundred years. Some call them the surfers of our magic universe. When they were "taken up" as it were did they leave their calender as a means to tell us something?

Magnetic reversals have happened, according to science, 171 times in the last 76 million years, with at least 14 of the reversals occurring in the last 4.5 million years alone. Some mainstream scientists suggest we are overdue for a plor shift. Some say we are in the early stages of just such a reversal which explains our erratic weather patterns, the short circuity of our consciousness, and the weakling of the planet's magnetic field.

We know the sun is going through a magnetic shift right now. The earth appears to be in tyhe early stages of a polar reversal. Wo what does this mean?

Our brains detect magnetic changes because our brains contain millions of tiny magnetic particles. These particles connected us to the Earth's magnetic field in a powerful and intimate way which affects our consciousness in a stunning way. Our nervous systems are affected, our immune systems, and even our perceptions of reality! Our dreams, our thoughts, our emotions, and our understanding of time and space are thrown out of balance when the magnetic field is weakened.

These magnetic fields on earth are kind of a glue which designates our reality, when the glue shifts it fhrows off our perception of what is real. At first I thought I was gr owning old...loosing my mind, but some of my friends in their 20's are experiencing the same things.

I KNOW there are places on the planet that contains amazingly powerful magnetic fields. I live within one vortex... near the TETONS. Some of lowest energy areas are Suez Canal, Israel... hence change is occurring every day within the middle east so many unbelievable energy cycles happening every moment.

Another low magnetic field runs parallel to the west coast of America. Things happen very quickly in California, Oregon, Washington State. Meaning, science, technology, fashion, music, art, and film. RUSSIA HAS SOME OF MOST POWERFUL GRIDS. People there tend to cling to tradition and changes come extremely SLOWLY.

I know musicians and poets as well as painters than can only produce under the effects of a FULL MOON. Look at the affects of what ONE IDIOT WORLD LEADER CAN DO!

2012, will join into a magnificent power with QUANTUM PHYSICS. We are all headed toward a catastrophe that has indeed occurred in the ancient past, or are we going to create a NEW JERUSALEM WITH THE MAGNETIC OF THE 2012 alighment?

Stephen Hawking, said that the speed with which our computers are performing will soon surpass the capacity of the human brain. He even states that there are extraterrestial life out there... We THINK we are so very powerful... however, we are part of the earth, the universe and we will evolve as our home EARTH evolves...

Exciting stuff... I could write for miles about such exiting FACTS... but, as always most people will not or simply refuse to sense truth beyond their COMMANDERS and RELIGIOUS COMMANDERS... One true prophet was Edgar Cayce. I simply tell you read his heeling's...

Later, I'll be seeing you soon...

Summer madness

Brenthoven's Restaurnat is all over the place... weather and the economy are rather Bi-Polar... One day amazing and pure joy, the next strange because of the kind of people coming and going. It is all one learning adventure within the expanding universe.

Will go into some details about all this when I have time. Until then, things are great. Made music today with my bass player. No matter what the day presents before me the music equalizes everything. I thank my LUCKY STARS.

Doom and some gloom

The mud slide if clear. You can drive through the grand canyon of the Snake River with no fear of being killed because of a mountains crashing upon your life...
We have had some gorgeous days and nights, but it seems these days of sunshine disappear within one, two, three days of light.
and then more rain...

Will try to keep this blog going this summer. My restaurant is doing fine... will write later.

MUD SLIDE

Spring is late this year. The daffodils are in bloom, but buds on the aspen, maple and other trees are still searching for warmth and sunshine. We did have a few days of brilliant sunshine and with the sunshine there occurred a horrific mud slide up the Snake River Canyon.

14 years ago we suffered a terrible mud slide in the canyon up near Dog Lake. It nearly put me out of business. It became a political nightmare.

Two geologists that were working on the slide stayed with us at the Nordic Inn. I learned many things from them. Before the spring run off had ever began high above where the slide erupted was an under ground lake inside the mountain. The lake was fed water from another open lake very high in the mountains.

When the spring melting of snow began the open lake could not hold all the water from the winter snow and it filled the hidden lake. The under ground lake erupted and began what is known in mother nature as a BRAND NEW RIVER!
If there had not been any humans in the area the mud slide would have opened a new artery into the mighty Snake River and branched off into many other streams and over many years there would be many new rivers, creeks, lakes. The creative process seemed endless over hundreds of years creating new water ways...

Well, this current mud slide is many times greater than the slide 14 years ago. I walked up the canyon this afternoon. The river is raging... very muddy with lots of run off water carrying trees, huge boulders and natural debris down the river at a fast tempo.
Nice to walk without any traffic... only the sounds of nature.

Nature rules. We must accept the fact. The natural disasters the past year have been shocking. But are they really? We forget we are very much a part of this planet, the cycles of nature and it's many blessing of magic and wellness.

I shall never forget what a little Japanese lady said to me in Queenstown soon after the earthquake in Japan. She would come to St Peter's daily to hear me play Chopin. After the horrible earthquake I asked her if she had lost family or friends in the disaster. She smiled, paced her words very evenly and said: "Young man, you must always enjoy the sound of birdsong, the white clouds against a blue sky and most of all hold some kind of secret peace inside your heart..." Having been to Japan a few times over the years as well as all of South East Asia I sensed her stoic and most amazing reply. Emotions are to be felt INSIDE not OUTSIDE. (I have one hell of a time with that concept! I seem to scream, cry, dramatize beyond imagination)

I reflect where I was two years ago. Full of cancer, E coli, besides too many physical problems to imagine at the present moment.

I will watch the sun set over the western mountains and silently one by one within the infinite meadows of heaven watch the lovly stars, the "forget-me-not's of the angels....... after all our bodies are made of dust? MUD! our spirits are made of light!

Back in Wyoming...

What an amazing adventure getting from QT New Zealand to Auckland and from Auckland to LAX.

The jet that was to fly us non
stop to Auckland hit a bird before it landed in QT. The inspectors had to check out everything on the plane before take off.
It took over and hour for the inspectors to give the OKAY TO FLY. I did not mind. I would much rather be safe than falling out of the sky because of another flying object called a dead bird.

As we sat on the plan I began to organize thoughts about how we would be able to connect with the international flight to USA.
NO WAY. So, I decided we would simply wait in Auckland until the next flight into America and then re book the flight into Utah.

We landed in Auckland and had exactly one half hour to get from the Domestic Terminal to the International Terminal. We jumped into a cab and drove like hell. Jumped out at International. The staff was amazing. They took our luggage... found a wheel chair for Anne... she is 93 and has dementia... we ran to the customs area. I was sweating like a pig ready for the moment of death. The woman pushing Anne's wheel chair, said: "fill out what you can on the departure forms... I could not even get the passport numbers written out. They ran us through the arch which checks for metal, objects of mass destruction and we ran down the ramp onto the plane. It was packed. We had our carry on pieces. Simply got into our seats and it was TAKE OFF!!! Our luggage could not be put on the plane but would arrive later.

Believe me this would not have happened in America! It was a smooth flight. Landed in LAX, and once again a long run to get from International to South West. Once more my body began sweating like the pigs body I seem to be living in. Talk about a wake up call telling me I did not work out enough at the gym the past 5 months! We made the flight. Landed in SLC and breathed a deep sigh of relief.

Spent 5 days and nights with my parents in Clinton Utah. Celebrated my parents 65th Wedding Day celebration at the Lion House in SLC. Saw family members I have not seen in over 30 years!

Seems like when we at my parents Michael ends up doing nothing by fixing problems in the house... The kitchen taps were leaking tons of water. Needed a completely new faucet etc.
then there were other minor things. We got on the road for home early afternoon on the 3rd of May.

The drive to Evanston, WY was beautiful. From Evanston to Cokeville WY was heaven to me... wide open spaces, sage brush,
clouds of every possible shape and you could watch some clouds blessing the land with rain. Stopped to see friends
before we drove into Alpine. Stopped at the grocery for basic items, milk, bread, butter, odds and ends, then drove up the drive way, past the business and HOME.

Today I walked into the national forest behind the house. The trees have buds about the size of pin heads. Mountains still covered in snow. Butter cups were smiling among the Oregon Grape leaves and Robins with beautiful red breasts were perched on branches of Cedar trees and pine.

The most blessed moment was touching my wonderful piano. It held it's pitch amazingly well. I love this instrument. It chose me a few years ago. I did not chose it. It's voice is the voice of my soul and spirit. I placed my favorite piece of art on top of it.
"Walking Wounded"... I played for over an hour. My hands were straining because of the altitude, my breathing is labored for days after I return to the mountains...

I filled the room with pine boughs and sage brush... it smells heavenly. Happy to be back where I belong.