Preludes & Fugues

94 years...

2012-01-26T20:35:00.000-08:00

The mother of my partner of nearly 30 years, turned 94 on the 25th of January 2012.

She has dementia, however can walk without a cane, she eats everything I put on her plate and is so kind. She knows the charming effects of the simple word, "THANK YOU!" She thanks everyone that helps her with any of her needs. She is nearly blind, hearing is nearly gone, but she looks fantastic and has a personality like a great actress. If I tell her someone is coming to visit and please act as if she remembers them... she pulls it off like a movie star!

I had planned a simple dinner on the patio for her celebration, but we have had all kinds of weather from 90 degrees summer heat to barely in the 40's. SNOW FOR THE 4th time this January! January 27 in NZ is like JULY 27 in the northern hemisphere. The mountains are still half way covered in white snow as I write.

For Anne's celebration I decided to take 7 of us to my favorite restaurant, "Solera vino".

a authentic French Restaurant. I met Philippe Berton, the owner in the old Body Worx gym 20 years ago. He told me he had a restaurant in town... I had dinner and never looked back!

I eat lunch at least two times a week at 'Solera vino'

I always have the same lunch. Rib eye steak cooked medium, green salad with French Dressing, and French Fries. The Fries are not like most French Fries, you can actually taste the earthy note of real potato and the top note of what it was fried in... Two glasses of Arum Pinot Noir wine, and then a strong espresso coffee. This lunch is flawless. The music and ambiance is magic.

I am fortunate to sit at the front open window, depending on the crowd. I never mind where they seat me. (there was a time I was known as a pianist in QT, now I wear BIG dark glasses, rather eccentric clothing, carry a backpack...) still, the young table attendants which are French, treat me so kindly and they KNOW I DO NOT REQUIRE A MENU...

When I am seated at my table, I can write in my journal, gaze out of the open window and watch the stream of people walking past... I love to make up stories about where they are going or coming from.

I picked the perfect place for Anne's 94Th.

Amazing beyond belief, she walked from the parking lot to the restaurant, enjoyed her Sole and rice, dinner, creme brullee then walked back to the car, chatted all the way home and we prepared her for bed. Lots of THANK YOUS!

My own mother taught me two precious words: PLEASE and THANK YOU.

Sorry, but some years in between now and when I was a little boy I forgot them? NO!

My love affair...

2012-01-17T20:02:00.000-08:00

In New Zealand last year I purchased a wireless printer. It worked like magic!

I could down load sheet music on my computer inside my studio (which is outside of the main house.)

The printer sits in my bedroom. It chugged away and printed everything beautifully. This year? Everything seems in working order, I made it my default printer on my MacBook Pro but the printer simply refuses to work with me. SCREW IT!

I went on line searching for a place I could buy printed classical piano collections. FOUND A PLACE.

Nile.com great place. I ordered three wonderful editions of piano music.

Music I was longing to fall in love with again as well as my forever on going study of certain masterpieces which I doubt I will ever perform in this life time, however, they provide eternal exploration and adventure for my mind, body and spirit.

Last night I sat up in bed drinking a cup of green and melodic (get that, melodic!) berry tea. It is delicious. I read every night before falling asleep. In NZ this year I have been reading classics.

Last night I came to end of Wurthering Heights. God, what a convoluted love affair as well as the story takes place in a rather a dark place on earth... No problem. I slept like a dead man.

Awoke at 7 AM feeling great.

Made a pot of strong coffee... sat in the garden, meditating, ate a very light breakfast, then I took a forked tool and began loosening the soil around my amazing tomato plants and carrots, potatoes and herbs allowing the soil to breathe and absorb all the water, air, shade and most of sunlight during the day, starlight at night and love the rose bushes and pansies share with such nutritious plants.

Did the gym... I am like the book by Hemingway: "The Old Man and The Sea" only thing? I am the old man and the gym. After returning home the need for the piano became intense.

I indulged myself beyond imagination working out melodic phrases, harmonic structure of chords and hidden voices within the undercurrents of such works of art.

The new, virgin, un marked pages of musical manuscripts invited me to grab my RED PEN and begin marking places that demand my attention...

Debussy will forever haunt me. His box of multi colored tones of musical paint takes my mind to places where words do not exist. Chopin can express emotions I cannot explain and Beethoven simply reaches into the universe of eternity. The secret language of the spheres.

Experiencing any kind of creativity can eclipse the invention of "time".

After some time at the keyboard I wondered why my right shoulder was aching? Well? go figure? Walked out of my studio door into the sunshine and breathed a prayer of gratitude to the universe for giving me such a gift and the time to indulge myself with it's gorgeous influences. (when I am home in WY. I suffer guilt IF I am not working thus... I suffer)

I thank my lucky stars that I have friends that are artists of the first rank and they accept me and my quirks, limitations as well weaknesses. These angels are sculptures, painters, musicians, poets, writers, chefs, massage therapists, healers, clairvoyants, eccentrics and most of all passionate people.

I have had many love affairs in my life... (too many to write about?????)

but the one constant in my life has been my love affair with music and the written language by which we humans record it.

Horizontal lines, vertical lines, mathematics, written language... the formulas are endless. PHYSICS! I will never get over the love affair. I pray it never gets over me!!!

becoming older and older

2012-01-08T20:49:00.001-08:00

I took a break from the gym during the holiday madness... Today I started back.

For ever 30 + years I have worked out faithfully. I believe that exercise keeps the body within a reasonable state of good health. I do know for a fact weight training can save one's emotional and spiritual being. If for no other reason it releases stress.

Years ago I would be so upset or crazy with anger I would simply lift the weights as if they were the neck of the person I wanted to choke to death.

It worked this way: most of the people are dead now because of their own actions or still alive because I took my anxiety out on IRON and MUSIC... (I should write a song Iron & Music)

I have been having inner conversations with my body and soul regarding my right leg.

I figured I needed another knee replacement! Today I changed my mind. Reason: I remember exactly the day I knelt down on my knees and it felt as though I had a thousand nails hammered into the knee cap of my left leg. I was in the QT GYM. I rolled on my side, grabbing my knee and screaming.

I was in denial, but I knew the knee was a problem. Well, today I realized it is the damn arthritis playing up in the right leg along with the sciatica joining in... my left knee never went numb... the pain in my left knee never radiated down the outside of my leg...

I had my left elbow "cleaned up" by a surgeon from Auckland about three years ago. It was pooling fluids and the pain... well, I had many, many injections of Cortisone in that elbow for years.

The drug killed the triceps muscle's. Every time I would go for advice in the states they avoided the issue and I know why: FOR FEAR THAT I WOULD LOOSE MY ABILITY TO PLAY PIANO... Well, I proved that theory wrong.

The surgeon from Auckland cleaned out all the "CRAP" from the arthritis and scar tissue. He told me I would play the piano fine... I would not be able to PRO NATE my left arm... like press it against a wall etc. He was 100% spot on. To this day I am pain free in that elbow. I am slowly re birthing my triceps muscle. I am finally able to straighten the arm out in front of me.

I wear long sleeved shirts because IF I DON'T people stare at me. My right arm is a well built arm. My left arm is tooth pick. It is growing. I still love my Left Arm, Hand and it is coming right!

Years and years ago... I recall older people telling telling me: "YOUR DAY WILL COME!"

Hell, they were right! I have known people that live on vegetarian diets, high protein diets, exercise... pray, meditate, live the WORD OF WISDOM to the MAX and still fall apart. I think death must be a very big part of our learning process and many of us no longer can accept the fact we will grow old and die! YIKES. ('cause nobody knows what death is unless they experience it... just like birth... do you remember the moment of your birth??? possibly death is a birth????)

Now I am over so many issues. I really do not care about a lot of "STUFF" that ruled my life for 40 years.

I am over mountains of GUILT, FEAR and LOATHING. I work hard. But when I am on holiday as now... well, I sleep when I want and I get up when I want... (Peter Pan?) I eat what I want and I walk where I want... I read all kinds of books, eat foods that my body tells me it needs and most of all I love.

I love my past even though it is no longer a part of my present life. I love people that are no longer with me in physical bodies, but forever with me in my heart and the spirit of love.

Possibly becoming older is a gift that only certain people ever enjoy. I live with a 94 year old woman that was a power beyond words years ago. She now suffers dementia beyond belief.

I wonder if it is Karmic or simply science?

OH BTW, SOPHIA RAN OFF. She is with her baby kittens. Story of my life: THEY RUN AWAY FROM ME...

SOPHIA

2012-01-01T19:35:00.000-08:00

Last year we took in a cat named Sophia. I love the name Sophia.

Yesterday a young woman delivered a cat we can care for in the coming weeks. Well, her markings and green eyes are exactly like Sophia the cat from last year!!

She never stopped wailing and talking cat language. The birds that have been loving our gardens took off in hysterical flight. I do hope the Tui returns in the morning. No bird has such a song.

I also adore the song of the Bell Birds.

Sophie finally settled down. Found the bed in the guest room most adaptable to her needs. We had closed all windows and doors. Keeping her under lock & Key for about 3 days.

This morning I wake up and there no Sophia to be found anywhere in this house! Anne had awaken in the night to the cat's cry and let the damn cat out of the bag, as they say! Then Anne went straight back to bed!

Well, I simply resigned myself to the fact the cat did not love us and had run back to her previous habitat... as I was sipping my morning coffee I heard her wailing at the front door.

She is no fool this cat. She had spent the night marking her space around the property, sitting in the window sills and clawing at doors to find a way into the house. I opened the door and she JUMPED into my arms. (thank god, I did not at the moment have a cup of hot coffee in my hand).

She belongs at 11 Panorama Place. When I returned home after a long walk out to St. Omer Park she was on my bed. I nudged her aside for my much needed "lay down nap", she rolled into a cuddly ball on my tummy.

Thus, I just kissed my sweet allergy free sinuses goodbye. Back to the dripping nose. But the gift of "UNCONDITIONAL LOVE" is worth every moment. Fur People are the sacred messengers that carry love to all of crazy human beings. Stay tunned for more about Sophia.

My Deals with GOD... 2012

2011-12-31T20:29:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was absolute magic.

We had neighbors in later in the evening for snacks, drinks and wild conversation.

I made a great dinner for summer: Tender Roast Beef, Potato Salad, home made breads and fresh tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers, avocados and hummus. We then proceeded to indulge in cheeses, nuts, crackers, drinks and wine.

The Fire Works Show in Queenstown was fantastic. For the Grand Finale they shot a blast into the open sky and it formed a red heart! Then the heart began shooting all kinds of spirals and darts out into the universe. It was pure love! 2012 came in with a bang.

Round 2:00 AM went to bed... during the night a huge painting on the wall in the bedroom came off the wall crashing like a bomb on the floor. I awoke thinking we had been attacked. COULD NOT GET BACK TO SLEEP. DHAAAHHHH....

I learned years ago: never ever drink after 8 or 9 PM. The body goes into over drive cleansing the liver etc. Well, at 7:30 AM I got out of bed, made STRONG coffee and PROMISED GOD ONE MORE TIME: If you will simply take away this awful feeling inside my body I will never ever do anything bad again. It worked. I am fine. (Thank God for DRUGS...)

In my 65 years living on this planet I have made so many DEALS WITH GOD it is unimaginable that the heavens have not tossed me out for ever. (but on the other hand I believe god has made some strange deals with me???)

Today is gorgeous. The lake is like a mirror. Perfect summer weather.

Best part of today:

We had a cat delivered! She is gorgeous. Fur people forever help and guide me through this existence. They only offer UN CONDITIONAL LOVE on the HIGHEST LEVEL.

I've written before in my blogs about 2012... so lets see what happens. May all our dreams come true in 2012.

My Kiwi Xmax Kitchen...

2011-12-26T20:44:00.000-08:00

Today is the day after BOXING DAY IN NZ. I took this photo of my kitchen here in the summer house in NZ because: it expresses apart of myself. This was taken after a gorgeous dinner.

It shows: Half a glass of Pinot Noir, half of a beautiful NZ Christmas Ham I glazed in apricots and oranges.

Half of myself standing taking the photo! (not really!)

In NZ most Kiwis, on Xmas day have a Christmas Breakfast or Luncheon/Bar-B-Que because it is summer in this part of he world!

I however do it different. I like my Xmas Dinner in the evening. Same with Thanksgiving Dinner.

My family in Utah are very traditional and do all these events between noon and 1:00PM. Why do I chose evening? Because: I have for far too many years cooked in restaurants and evening meals are my favorite except for I do love breakfast late in the morning all by my self!

Yep, I am a selfish man. I deserve to be.

This year I had two guests in. One lives on the left side of our house the other two or three doors down the street. We got together round 6 PM had yummy cheeses, breads, assorted nuts and wines... then dinner was: A wonderful baked ham. I glazed in apricot and orange with yams. Boiled potatoes, onions, greens, carrots, courgettes, topped with honey, dill and cream fresh. French and Cibatta breads and NZ REAL BUTTER. Dessert was strawberries and cream, but we settled for Christmas Fruit Cake and brandy.

Boxing Day I treated everyone to a day on the Lake. We boarded the old steamer Eranslaw and steamed over to Walter Peak. Had a wonderful Bar-B-Que Luncheon... watched the farm show, the shearing of sheep and of course the sheep dogs! are the most spiritual of creatures.

The ride back was divine. BLUE SKIES, MOUNTAINS, BLUE WATER, HOT SUN and a piano player on the ship that played songs only my grandparents would ever know every word and melody. Twas magic. Left QT at round 11:30 AM returned round 4:00 PM.

Will write about ever so many other things that have been pressing on my weak mind and body but had to share joy. NEW YEARS WILL BE BEYOND BELIEF THIS YEAR. Stay Tuned.

2011-12-26T20:42:00.000-08:00

Last year... this year! Xmas Dinner.

2011-12-26T20:39:00.000-08:00

New board to view, new kind of plant life

2011-12-15T01:23:00.000-08:00

Ah, I finally did it. Took down the cork board that holds so many phone numbers, cards, photos and anything that cannot find a place on a shelf or on the floor... cleaned it up. I like it.

This year I changed my idea of plant life inside my wee space. Instead of the usual house plants I chose all kinds of interesting little creatures. They seem to be thriving. Plants have the gift of telling me very bluntly how I am doing emotionally and spiritually. I learned how the sacred communication between living plants and human beings can be a very special blessing from the universe many years ago.

Some indoor plants are best LEFT ALONE.

They are able to be at peace and grown according to their DNA when nothing interferes with their natural state of being... other plants NEED ME. They harmonize to certain composers... they need my fingers to pet their stems and whisper against their leaves... they react to weather, sound, color and any movement... We live on a green planet. Green is a healing color. It is the color of the heart chakra. Green and pale orange... faded saffron are my favorite color combinations.

I carried all of my sacred Quartz Crystals from NZ back to Wyoming last year. Now I will begin an adventure in search of certain gems of frozen light. I will cleanse them and regenerate their vibrational energy.

new look in the studio/lab

2011-12-15T01:17:00.000-08:00

I think we are what we always will be????

2011-12-13T20:44:00.000-08:00

The past few days I have reflected on many adventures and horrific moments that have occurred in my life.

Some have been so painful I can never write about them, even at this late point in my life, but other moments have been perfect magic!

We all must learn the lessons and move on, but, being a very old NEW AGE person... I still keep crystals around me. I cleanse them, I re set their vibrations... I still lite incense, and meditate every day!

I am not a person that can see other peoples energy colors... I do not have visions, but I DO FEEL VIBRATIONS. I will forever maintain that I am a VIBRATIONALIST.

I can walk into a room and within a heart beat FEEL if the energy in the room is balanced, full of anger, angst, pain, joy...

I am a hermit. I could ever so easily live my own life alone and in peace... as long as I have:

Kind people that watch over me, certain foods, lots of wines, certain drugs, music, poetry, books to read and write and most of all nature and music of the spheres.

When I am in WY. my most spiritual moments are when a deer stands alone gazing at my window... when a bird only sings for my ears.

When pine trees and cedar trees radiate their perfume into my lungs.

Like paintbrushes, I try to find and swallow the last pulse, and try to stay alive. I want to feel however what a worm feels it is satisfaction.

I awoke this morning at 2:30 am to the music of gentle rain on the roof. It called me up the stairs to the open patio. There it danced and sang it's melodies. I poured a cup of red wine and sat for one solid hour talking to the rain.

Life is magic. I thank the universe for the open cells of my body that can accept nature, the open parts of my mind that can rejoice in the sounds and colors of nature. I am at peace.

AT LAST...

2011-12-04T20:34:00.000-08:00

The year was wonderful. I trained a dear angel to be my soi chef. She became the part of myself I never express because I lock that self so deeply inside my heart and brain, then when self cannot stand restraint it explodes into a deluge of angst and ugly words... thus she saved me. Sprit guided me and she into perfection.

Business was good. My restaurant danced to "steady Eddy"... meaning: Equilibrium, balance, center, I did not allow humongous parties of more than 10 people... I kept things at a tempo I could play with... Most of my help were reliable and propped me up.

The photos are of the dinning room the night after I closed for the season. I always have a steak dinner for friends. I actually had the entire restaurant filled with candle light. (candle light is a sacred vibration for me) Lots of delicious wines and spirits.

Next photo is of the first snow fall outside my window in Alpine, WY. Magic when the autumn leaves are in cosmic radiance and then the silence of snow upon leaves that have fallen to their death... only to be reincarnated once again in soil that will feed more trees, seeds, there is no death... observe nature.

It seemed as if we would never get our butts out of Alpine. We finally did round 6-7 PM. Had to stop at friends and say goodbyes... then from Afton WY to Evanston WY dense fog.

I do not have a problem driving at night, but I do hate fog. Growing up in Davis County, UT. we lived near the Great Salt Lake... INVERSIONS... fog was a dangerous demon. One could be driving in blind fog only to suddenly drive into a crystal clear sky... I managed the trip to Utah from WYOMING fine, but we arrived at my parents home round 3 AM.

Thanksgiving is a way far overrated holiday in my book. Tooooo much food, toooooo much labor involved and TENSION beyond words. Got through it fine. Then the Xmas decorations.

My mother could open a shop with only Xmas Decorations. She has millions of things that blink, sparkle, need bulbs, wires, connections... we did what we could to make it happen.

The flight to NZ. Longer than the roads to hell... but WORTH EVERY ACHE AND PAIN.

Flying is not what is used to be. NO LONGER DO I DRESS OR MAKE ANY ATTEMPT TO LOOK NICE. Soft clothing, slip on shoes, no jewelry. When you are trying to get a 94 year old woman through security as well as yourself and friends... computers, cell phones, I pads, the wee bag of gels. That is by far enough. We made it. Qantas is a great airline, but I do hate the food.

The seats are made out of cement. I took one of those famous sleeping pills in America:

starts with an A... I was awake all night!!!!!!!!!!!! Last year I tried one but I had my meal before I took it and the Doc said that is why it did not work!

WTF I need something to eat before I sleep... well, I did not eat a meal and the damn pill still did not work. I'm calling the FDA one more time... these things are not cheap

12 hours later we landed in Auckland. HOME... (well, my 2ND home away from home) then the rush to domestic flights. Landed in QT at 2:00 PM. GORGEOUS MOUNTAINS, WATER, SKY.

The house was perfect. I can now sleep until noon. I can be awake all night. I can get up early and walk all morning. I can play piano when I want. I can read millions of words that create books inside my I Pad or Nook. I can doooooooooo any damn thing I WANT OR NEED TO DO.

Will post tomorrow about my goals this year. Every year I set certain goals that I want to attain when I am blest with this freedom to explore and do more, more, more. Life is good.

Leaving Wyoming... NZ 2011-2012

2011-12-04T20:27:00.000-08:00

Bryan's Song

2011-10-14T19:44:00.001-07:00

Today one of my dearest musical brothers crossed over... He was my bass player for years and recorded three Cd's with me...

Making music with someone else is a bliss beyond explanation, especially IF you are fortunate to touch a place within the universe where you can "groove" on the same vibration.

Bryan and I began making music years ago. We would rehearse in his basement. He had mostly played Rock n Roll and Country. I took him into jazz and standard classics. He was a fast study and could read my mind. We formed a trio years ago, piano, bass and drums, then it evolved into a quartet. He was a man of few words, but when he did have something to say, my God, he said something. I envied his ability to honestly SAY SOMETHING OF VALUE and MEANING.

Tonight as I lite a candle and opened the Tao Te Ching the book fell open to the 56th verse...

"Those who know do not talk. Those who talk do not know. Keep your mouth closed.
Guard your senses. Temper your sharpness. Simplify your problems. Mask your
Brightness. Be at one with the dust of the earth. This is primal union.
He who has achieved this state is unconcerned with friends and enemies, with good and
and Harm, with honor and disgrace. THIS THEREFORE IS THE HIGHEST
STATE OF MAN."

Bryan lived the above words perfectly and his wife, was a living angel. The woman was his twin soul
mate. She never, ever left his side, except for one night recently when she went to JH and he came to
dinner at my restaurant for a after closing party.

I could write forever about the moments we shared musically. He will forever be with those of us that knew the beauty and joy this man could share.

If in the twilight of memory we should meet once more, we shall speak again together and you shall sing to me a deeper song... and if our hands should meet in another dream, we shall build another tower in the sky...

Play and sing your songs... miss you but will soon be where you are...

I am a free man, kinda like! 2012

2011-10-06T18:25:00.000-07:00

We finally closed the business for the year 2011. What a fantastic year. I will be writing about far too many adventures into the spirit, present, past and beyond belief regarding all the minute things that occurred this past year since JUNE through SEPTEMBER.

I have been asked at least 100 times this season about 2012. December 21, 2012! The end of world as we know it, some comet Elenine sailing into the earth and destroying it... PLANET X which I have studied the past few years... is quite amazing.

Ever since I was a little boy I have been fascinated my the heavens... stars and moon, sun rise and sun set. I visit the International Space Station almost every day when I am in NZ. (I have the time to enjoy the moments minus time tables) There is NO SUCH THING AS TIME. It was invented as a way to mark events and episodes within out life and the happenings on earth. IN REALITY: the past, present and future are all happening at once. I am living with a woman 93 years old who is suffering full blown dementia, however, her "space suit" (her body) is doing fine because of science and chemistry. I work with kids between 14 and 21 years of age. Talk about past, present and future... spend a few hours in my kitchen.

This I know, or I should say I have learned. For the first time in 26,000 years our solar system will be in direct alignment with the center of our galaxy. The distance between our planet and center of the galaxy will be approximately 26,000 light years. The average life span of a human being is 26,000 days.According to many things I have read over the years these are facts supported by those who study the heavens.

On December 21,2012, the precession of the equinoxes will end and a new precession will begin. The great cycle began in August 3014 BCE, the approximate time of the first Egyptian hieroglyphics. The great cycle will end on December 21,2012, when our sun will move into direct alignment with the equator of the Milky Way galaxy. Most scientists acknowledges this galactic alignment will occur and the Mayan Calendar marks the event.

What will this all mean? Will it mean a POLAR SHIFT as some have predicted and have written.... the sun will rise in the south and set in the north? Some computers predict that a magnetic pole reversal could bring about the end of civilization, and worse that the Earth would be left with NO MAGNETIC FIELD AT ALL! We have not a clue what happened 26,000 years ago when the last alignment occurred.

The Mayan people and their culture came suddenly and left suddenly, after three hundred years. Some call them the surfers of our magic universe. When they were "taken up" as it were did they leave their calender as a means to tell us something?

Magnetic reversals have happened, according to science, 171 times in the last 76 million years, with at least 14 of the reversals occurring in the last 4.5 million years alone. Some mainstream scientists suggest we are overdue for a plor shift. Some say we are in the early stages of just such a reversal which explains our erratic weather patterns, the short circuity of our consciousness, and the weakling of the planet's magnetic field.

We know the sun is going through a magnetic shift right now. The earth appears to be in tyhe early stages of a polar reversal. Wo what does this mean?

Our brains detect magnetic changes because our brains contain millions of tiny magnetic particles. These particles connected us to the Earth's magnetic field in a powerful and intimate way which affects our consciousness in a stunning way. Our nervous systems are affected, our immune systems, and even our perceptions of reality! Our dreams, our thoughts, our emotions, and our understanding of time and space are thrown out of balance when the magnetic field is weakened.

These magnetic fields on earth are kind of a glue which designates our reality, when the glue shifts it fhrows off our perception of what is real. At first I thought I was gr owning old...loosing my mind, but some of my friends in their 20's are experiencing the same things.

I KNOW there are places on the planet that contains amazingly powerful magnetic fields. I live within one vortex... near the TETONS. Some of lowest energy areas are Suez Canal, Israel... hence change is occurring every day within the middle east so many unbelievable energy cycles happening every moment.

Another low magnetic field runs parallel to the west coast of America. Things happen very quickly in California, Oregon, Washington State. Meaning, science, technology, fashion, music, art, and film. RUSSIA HAS SOME OF MOST POWERFUL GRIDS. People there tend to cling to tradition and changes come extremely SLOWLY.

I know musicians and poets as well as painters than can only produce under the effects of a FULL MOON. Look at the affects of what ONE IDIOT WORLD LEADER CAN DO!

2012, will join into a magnificent power with QUANTUM PHYSICS. We are all headed toward a catastrophe that has indeed occurred in the ancient past, or are we going to create a NEW JERUSALEM WITH THE MAGNETIC OF THE 2012 alighment?

Stephen Hawking, said that the speed with which our computers are performing will soon surpass the capacity of the human brain. He even states that there are extraterrestial life out there... We THINK we are so very powerful... however, we are part of the earth, the universe and we will evolve as our home EARTH evolves...

Exciting stuff... I could write for miles about such exiting FACTS... but, as always most people will not or simply refuse to sense truth beyond their COMMANDERS and RELIGIOUS COMMANDERS... One true prophet was Edgar Cayce. I simply tell you read his heeling's...

Later, I'll be seeing you soon...

Summer madness

2011-07-12T16:43:00.000-07:00

Brenthoven's Restaurnat is all over the place... weather and the economy are rather Bi-Polar... One day amazing and pure joy, the next strange because of the kind of people coming and going. It is all one learning adventure within the expanding universe.

Will go into some details about all this when I have time. Until then, things are great. Made music today with my bass player. No matter what the day presents before me the music equalizes everything. I thank my LUCKY STARS.

Doom and some gloom

2011-06-16T16:38:00.001-07:00

The mud slide if clear. You can drive through the grand canyon of the Snake River with no fear of being killed because of a mountains crashing upon your life...
We have had some gorgeous days and nights, but it seems these days of sunshine disappear within one, two, three days of light.
and then more rain...

Will try to keep this blog going this summer. My restaurant is doing fine... will write later.

MUD SLIDE

2011-05-17T16:42:00.000-07:00

Spring is late this year. The daffodils are in bloom, but buds on the aspen, maple and other trees are still searching for warmth and sunshine. We did have a few days of brilliant sunshine and with the sunshine there occurred a horrific mud slide up the Snake River Canyon.

14 years ago we suffered a terrible mud slide in the canyon up near Dog Lake. It nearly put me out of business. It became a political nightmare.

Two geologists that were working on the slide stayed with us at the Nordic Inn. I learned many things from them. Before the spring run off had ever began high above where the slide erupted was an under ground lake inside the mountain. The lake was fed water from another open lake very high in the mountains.

When the spring melting of snow began the open lake could not hold all the water from the winter snow and it filled the hidden lake. The under ground lake erupted and began what is known in mother nature as a BRAND NEW RIVER!
If there had not been any humans in the area the mud slide would have opened a new artery into the mighty Snake River and branched off into many other streams and over many years there would be many new rivers, creeks, lakes. The creative process seemed endless over hundreds of years creating new water ways...

Well, this current mud slide is many times greater than the slide 14 years ago. I walked up the canyon this afternoon. The river is raging... very muddy with lots of run off water carrying trees, huge boulders and natural debris down the river at a fast tempo.
Nice to walk without any traffic... only the sounds of nature.

Nature rules. We must accept the fact. The natural disasters the past year have been shocking. But are they really? We forget we are very much a part of this planet, the cycles of nature and it's many blessing of magic and wellness.

I shall never forget what a little Japanese lady said to me in Queenstown soon after the earthquake in Japan. She would come to St Peter's daily to hear me play Chopin. After the horrible earthquake I asked her if she had lost family or friends in the disaster. She smiled, paced her words very evenly and said: "Young man, you must always enjoy the sound of birdsong, the white clouds against a blue sky and most of all hold some kind of secret peace inside your heart..." Having been to Japan a few times over the years as well as all of South East Asia I sensed her stoic and most amazing reply. Emotions are to be felt INSIDE not OUTSIDE. (I have one hell of a time with that concept! I seem to scream, cry, dramatize beyond imagination)

I reflect where I was two years ago. Full of cancer, E coli, besides too many physical problems to imagine at the present moment.

I will watch the sun set over the western mountains and silently one by one within the infinite meadows of heaven watch the lovly stars, the "forget-me-not's of the angels....... after all our bodies are made of dust? MUD! our spirits are made of light!

Back in Wyoming...

2011-05-07T17:08:00.001-07:00

What an amazing adventure getting from QT New Zealand to Auckland and from Auckland to LAX.

The jet that was to fly us non
stop to Auckland hit a bird before it landed in QT. The inspectors had to check out everything on the plane before take off.
It took over and hour for the inspectors to give the OKAY TO FLY. I did not mind. I would much rather be safe than falling out of the sky because of another flying object called a dead bird.

As we sat on the plan I began to organize thoughts about how we would be able to connect with the international flight to USA.
NO WAY. So, I decided we would simply wait in Auckland until the next flight into America and then re book the flight into Utah.

We landed in Auckland and had exactly one half hour to get from the Domestic Terminal to the International Terminal. We jumped into a cab and drove like hell. Jumped out at International. The staff was amazing. They took our luggage... found a wheel chair for Anne... she is 93 and has dementia... we ran to the customs area. I was sweating like a pig ready for the moment of death. The woman pushing Anne's wheel chair, said: "fill out what you can on the departure forms... I could not even get the passport numbers written out. They ran us through the arch which checks for metal, objects of mass destruction and we ran down the ramp onto the plane. It was packed. We had our carry on pieces. Simply got into our seats and it was TAKE OFF!!! Our luggage could not be put on the plane but would arrive later.

Believe me this would not have happened in America! It was a smooth flight. Landed in LAX, and once again a long run to get from International to South West. Once more my body began sweating like the pigs body I seem to be living in. Talk about a wake up call telling me I did not work out enough at the gym the past 5 months! We made the flight. Landed in SLC and breathed a deep sigh of relief.

Spent 5 days and nights with my parents in Clinton Utah. Celebrated my parents 65th Wedding Day celebration at the Lion House in SLC. Saw family members I have not seen in over 30 years!

Seems like when we at my parents Michael ends up doing nothing by fixing problems in the house... The kitchen taps were leaking tons of water. Needed a completely new faucet etc.
then there were other minor things. We got on the road for home early afternoon on the 3rd of May.

The drive to Evanston, WY was beautiful. From Evanston to Cokeville WY was heaven to me... wide open spaces, sage brush,
clouds of every possible shape and you could watch some clouds blessing the land with rain. Stopped to see friends
before we drove into Alpine. Stopped at the grocery for basic items, milk, bread, butter, odds and ends, then drove up the drive way, past the business and HOME.

Today I walked into the national forest behind the house. The trees have buds about the size of pin heads. Mountains still covered in snow. Butter cups were smiling among the Oregon Grape leaves and Robins with beautiful red breasts were perched on branches of Cedar trees and pine.

The most blessed moment was touching my wonderful piano. It held it's pitch amazingly well. I love this instrument. It chose me a few years ago. I did not chose it. It's voice is the voice of my soul and spirit. I placed my favorite piece of art on top of it.
"Walking Wounded"... I played for over an hour. My hands were straining because of the altitude, my breathing is labored for days after I return to the mountains...

I filled the room with pine boughs and sage brush... it smells heavenly. Happy to be back where I belong.

Leaving April 27th, 2011 for Alpine...

2011-04-23T22:34:00.000-07:00

Hard to imagine that five months have crossed over into memory and that place we refer to as 'the past'.

Today is Easter Sunday in NZ. I swear Easter was in March last year? I can never quite figure out why the dates change each year?

This is the first year in 21 years of coming to NZ we did not color eggs, put out the chocolate bunnies and I did not bake Hot Cross Buns. Easter has fallen to close to the day we depart. In the place of eggs, and buns, we are CLEANING the house. Sorting out things that must be stowed away in the storage until next year.

Today I washed windows inside and outside in the kitchen. Cleaned oven, cupboards, ceilings, walls, laundry... tossing out food items that will not keep until next year! Tonight will be my studio. Clean my piano keys, sort through all kinds of crap I collect on my desk...

Shifting between two homes is not such a bad thing, only bad thing: I do not have a staff that packs, organizes, cleans, maintains my life style. I do the GRUNT WORK!

Today has been gorgeous. It is now a quarter of 6 PM and the sky is becoming gruesome. No doubt I will fall asleep to the sound of rain dancing on the roof. Will try to finish a lot of work by tomorrow and then my last time at the gym on Tuesday, some good byes. Early Wednesday fly to Auckland. From there into LAX and from there to SLC, UT. From there drive to WY

Will write a quick blog from air ports!

The Real Piano

2011-04-09T02:27:00.000-07:00

Music, food, wine...

2011-04-08T21:56:00.000-07:00

Today I walked along the shore of the lake through the Queenstown Gardens into the Center of town. Music was playing from performers at the Arts and Crafts Open Fair Market where many people were browsing through scarfs, sweaters, canned goods, oil paintings, pottery, jewelry and a stall with all kinds of cup cakes!

My hearing works like magnets... they attract certain sounds no one else would ever be aware of... someone was playing a very out of tune piano. Sounded almost like a honky tonk piano, but the melody was not ragtime...

I put my blood hound ears "out there" seeking where the music was coming from. Along the water front was a young man playing on a REAL, not electric, but a real acoustic piano!!! The front of the upright piano had been removed so you could see the hammers falling back and forward against the strings. The piano was ancient. He had fashioned a frame out of iron that the piano sat on with side bars and a handle to pull the sweet old piano by hand anywhere he desired. Damn clever! No amplification. Simply organic sounds from a very old piano and the guy made up his own music. He could have not been over 21. He loved making music at the piano! His concert hall was a boardwalk beside a lake, walled in by the shades of autumn leaves, a ceiling of blue on blue sky and laughing seagulls.

In the 70's I often lived out of my cars as I wandered around the country playing piano. Some nights I'd stop into a bar in Evanston, WY and begin playing piano... suddenly there would be a "tip" jar on the piano and I'd make enough to fill up with gas, eat, drive to the next place my musical muses took me!

One night during a blizzard I stopped in Rifle Colorado... walked into a bar/cafe and asked IF I could play piano. The bar tender laughed. He said: "Young man, IF you can get anything that sounds like music out of that heap of crap in the back of this place I'll give you a hundred dollars."

With that kind of a challenge, and the fact I was broke, I was determined to find that forgotten beast of a music maker and find a way to make music from it's neglected shell.

Two burly cowboys got up from their bar stools, stomped back to the end of the bar and rolled out a very rough looking old upright piano. The one winked at me and said: "okay pretty boy you better be able to play!"

The piano was unbelievable. I could not believe the sound... within a half hour the place was packed... breathing room only.
The proprietor, after hearing the first song jumped on the telephone and started calling people... I made over $700.00 dollars in tips. I also had a killing hang over that lasted for days.

I was able to get my car repaired free, good food at a local diner and most of all I seemed to had made a lot of people happy. People that had never heard a Classical piece performed on a keyboard. My event in Rifle CO. was at least 40 years ago!

I sat on a bench listening to the young man's music. It was not my kind of music, but it ignited a plethora of memories inside my mind. Musical moments that I have never, ever thought of in years. At last, I picked up my back pack, put a 20 dollar bill in the piano man's kitty and walked to a cafe for a sandwich and glass of wine.

I sat thinking how in the 60's and 70's war was a huge item... draft... now we have a NO DRAFT MILITARY... racial angst... now we have a BLACK PRESIDENT... still the same bigotry and wars everywhere as well as mother earth erupting with earth quakes, floods, winds, drought and amid it all there are young people that are traveling, making life better for many people and yes, they are creating and making art.

We all pay a certain price for where we end up at the end of the day. My day was magic. I pray that young man has a safe place to sleep, eat and most of all care for his beloved piano.

Perfect Autumn Day in Queenstown

2011-04-08T21:50:00.001-07:00

Why The Maiden & the Nightingale

2011-03-28T20:54:00.000-07:00

The first time this melody entered my ears it simply sky dived into my musical heart and I knew that I had to own it.

I was 14 years old. I stumbled through the manuscript but did not have the knowledge of how to create a fingering and voicing pattern that could give life to the complex text.

Years later I decided to LEARN the piece in such a way I could perform it. Virginia Willard in Idaho Falls put my hands and brain into the correct direction. Later, Seymour Bernstien in NYC would open my heart to it's many hidden mysteries. I perform this piece differently every time I play it!

The entire piece evolves out of the first sound of F Sharp. One must touch the black key F# on the piano as if it were a delicate piece of precious crystal... from that vibration evolves every emotion within the haunting melodies of the piece.

I have always imagined a lover sitting in a window sill, pining, yearning, longing with heart break pain for the return of the secret lover... then the nightingale begins to answer the Maiden's pleas... the blessed bird's melody constantly answers the Maiden's voice. It is a composition full of intense emotion, questions and answers as well as that indefinable red blooded passion the Latin race have seared into their DNA...

Every emotion is recorded within this masterpiece. The last page of the music is a BIRD SONG... I believe the lover was singing to his Maiden through the Nightingale...

I owe boundless thanks to the engineer that creates such gorgeous images, ART that moves to my music!

The Maiden and the Nightingale - Brent Johnston

2011-03-28T01:37:00.000-07:00

So many amazing things occurring...

2011-03-18T00:10:00.000-07:00

I am depressed about the situation in Japan... I am upset about the situation in Christchurch New Zealand... I am angry about so many things I have NO CONTROL OVER... sooooo, I play my piano.

I took a moon bath last night. It worked.

You can't fool mother nature. She is the Goddess.

I wrote an entire blog years ago about the joy of learning how to play a musical instrument. The answers are real. That blog is way back... you would have really dig through a lot of blogs!
Happy Days...

sometimes........

2011-03-11T23:38:00.000-08:00

Last night I watched Monsaingeon's film 'MADEMOISELLE' about Nadia Boulanger. For some reason it saved me from going into a funk of depression...

It is an amazing film about her ability to still teach composition to pupils when she was 90 years old!

With everything that is happening in the world I wonder at times WHY? WHEN? WHERE? HOW? WHERE? WHO?... then I sit with my music and I know without a doubt that life is good... Karmic balance is forever demanding it's justice...

Today I played the piano at St. Peter's for about 2 hours... I played Debussy, Bach, Beethoven, Brahms, Grieg, Rachmaninoff, and my own compositions... An absolutely gorgeous young woman sat in the pews the entire time I played... she heard me talking to myself... she heard me sigh, moan and groan... When I was finished... she walked up to the piano. Mind you a beautiful woman and dressed in such angelic clothing! She said:

"I've never ever heard such beautiful piano playing in my life." I asked where she was from... BORN IN SANTA FE NEW MEXICO and when she was 4 years old moved to NZ. Father is USA Mother is NZ.
We had a wonderful visit. One never ever knows how sound will touch a certain individual and why they are in the room at that particular moment in time...

The earth quake in Japan is horrendous. It is alarming because it awakens all of us to the fact mother earth is reclaiming her domain.

America is far from broke... it is a capitalistic mega power that depends on oil, and other minerals that are controlled by a very small and most powerful group of people... they control everything... democracy is a big front for some amazing things...

When you start breathing radiation and a few other things besides the shit we already are breathing, take a deep breath and think: HOW DID THIS HAPPEN? I can explain it to ya.

Suicide

2011-03-04T20:52:00.000-08:00

A few days ago... I was given the news about a young man that had died due to an over does of drugs and alcohol... SUICIDE.

When I was around 14 a very close friend of mine committed suicide. We had seen each other the night before the event... He was depressed. I was very naive and did not understand many of the things he was telling me... Next day he was found inside the garage of his home inside a car with a hose running from the exhaust pipe of the inside of the car via the window of the seat he was sitting in.

Asphyxiation is not pretty... Your skin changes color etc... He did leave a suicide note... (I have not a clue where that letter is now...) I do know that RELIGION and DOGMA had 99% to do with this tragedy.

Many people still ache and hurt over this ordeal which shook the hell out of a little Mormon farming community... Harsh words from a stupid BISHOP... worse, harsh words from a father that did not understand what what going on and most of... the

AMAZING FEAR THAT EVERYONE COULD NOT PUT INTO WORDS: THE YOUNG MAN HAD TAKEN HIS VERY OWN LIFE INTO HIS OWN HANDS... HE WAS NOT AFRAID TO DIE RATHER THAN TO FACE OTHER HORRIBLE SITUATIONS LATER IN HIS LIFE AND MOST OF ALL HE PROVED THAT DEATH EQUALIZES US ALL... rich, famous, old, unknown, wonderful and loved beyond imagination we all DIE...
He saved many people from suffering... his siblings, his friends, his church, his school... why? IF HE HAD LIVED FOR MANY YEARS another story could and would have been written! Now in hindsight, he saved a hell of a lot of drama in the family...

Things aren't all so TANGIBLE and SYABLE as people waould usually have us believe.
Most expiences are UNSAYABLE.
THEY HAPPEN IN A SPACE THAT NO WORD HAS ENTERED< and more UNDSAYABLE THAN ALL OTHER THINGS ARE WORKS OF ART, THOSE MYSTERIOUS EXISTENCES, WHO'S LIFE ENDURES BESIDE OUR OWN SMALL TRANSITORY LIFE.

Human beings amaze me at times... to think we short lived humans have the arrogance to even think WE can OFFEND this GOD that created this planet and all the life that endures... We are really something...

I was in Viet Nam three times... I saw some stunning things... I also know of a few men that committed suicide. WHY? They KNEW and still KNOW something WE DO NOT KNOW! They were brave beyond poloticians, egos, religions, philosopy... they were brave beyond my imagination... they knew something... something you and I do not know... May the universe forever bless those brave men and woman that have crossed over by their own means... I DO NOT BELIEVE IN SUFFERING and MAKING OTHER'S SUFFER... I believe in life eternal.

2011-02-23T01:50:00.000-08:00

The End Of The World...

2011-02-23T01:17:00.000-08:00

It is nearly 10:30 PM NZ Time... It has been a day similar to what we dealt with in America during 9/11...............

My great grand father on my father's side came to NZ on a Mormon Mission near 1900... He was in the North Island. He never had a clue that a great grand son of his would one day spent 21 years in this country!

I love New Zealand. I could live here till I cross over. Only thing is I love Alpine WY. I plan to die there. Christchurch was one of the safest places to live in NZ until NOVEMBER 2011. An earthquake from hell... good thing: it reared it's ugly head at around 4 AM when everyone was asleep. Many after-shocks... they had put most of the city together again... well, Humpty Dumpty fell off the wall, all the kings men and all the brilliant men on earth could not put Humpty Dumpty together again... This damn quake attacked at 12:50 PM... MID AFTERNOON WHEN ALL THE KINGS CHILDREN AND ALL THE KINGS MEN WERE AT WORK AND HAVING LUNCH AND PLAYING SOCCOR IN THE PARK... IT WAS FROM HELL.

Many are dead. Building that I have known and been inside GONE. The infrastructure is a shambles. NOTHING IS RIGHT.
We are so upset, but, life does go on. I now compare CHCH NZ to San Francisco and place like NYC etc. I consider them elements of Atlantis... Atlantis was an amazing civilization...

Also: Planet earth is our home. I could give a rats ass what religious freaks say about heaven... EARTH IS OUR SPACE SHIP. It is where we live and evolve. (another dirty word for religion) I KNOW THE BIBLE BETTER THAN MOST RELIGIOUS FANATICS! I have read it from cover to cover 13 times... I will not start in with the 10 commandments... most of all THOU SHALT NOT KILL...

The earth quakes in CHCH reminds me of KATRINA IN NOLA... what a disaster and what a failure of the AMERICAN GOVT. Kill for oil, but do not take care of our own! Then the oil leak in the gulf of mexico... Really a MAN MADE PIECE OF SHIT... then the DRILL BABY DRILL mantra by conservatives and most of all Sara Pallin.... NOW the well, finally a new and brave generation of people that can stand up to corrupt governments in Egypt, and so many other mid eastern countries... we have to out breed the old for the new that is how progression moves forward... DOGMA can be death.

If we continue to punch holes in this orb we exist on it will sink... it will fold on into its self and we will die under it's demise.
LAUGH... CLOWN LAUGH! This space ship is like a balloon. The core is of molten Iron... oil and gases are part of it's blood...
compare it to the human body... Most Capatlistic billionaires will argue... TAKE DOMINIAN OVER THE SEAS AND THE LAND...
NOT SO! We have to learn how to live in harmony with the planet we live on... We need not worry Mother Nature will take control in many ways. Earthquakes, toronados, snow storms, floods, endless ways including disease, famine... the list is endless what SHE WILL DO...

If A living God that lives somewhere in space invented all of this and according to mormons they can procreate many planets... why does HE (mind you not a she) says, his garden of Eden has more power than prayers and sacrifices to him? I nearly fainted the first time I heard the story of Abraham having to sacrifice his only son to this GOD! besides that plygomay was a big thing of the day and in some reliegions still is... like Muslium religion.

I gave up on this years ago. I love the moon and stars, sun rises, and most of all the people that have a sweet smile and are kind to me... I must go to sleep.

The

This story

2011-02-22T00:58:00.000-08:00

NOTICE:

Reading this story is like reading a book from the last page to the first! You will begin with chapter 4, then 3, then 2, then 1...
Photos and it all should make sense at the end of the day.

Chapter 4

2011-02-22T00:23:00.000-08:00

Last day in the Golden Bay was delightful. We walked on the beach, then back to the truck. Drove to a place that serves coffee on a very old dilapidated yacht. I have a picture of me on the boat posted at the bottom of all these chapters.

From there we drove... found a beach and decided to take the fold up chairs, a bottle of wine, walk out onto the beach and allow the tide to wash our feet as we feasted on the wind, sky and most of all music of the ocean.

Drove back to SSI. Instead of a big meal we opted to have left overs and cold things in Rutha's Cottage! Then we watched the movie Sordid Lives... Laughed and nibbled away at cheese, breads, olives, veggies... I went to bed and slept like a rock.

Ah, morning meant get up and out of the room in time for the pick up bus to Nelson. From there the flight into CHCH. Everything went swimmingly smooth. I hailed a cab at the airport in CHCH and had quite a conversation with the driver. He is EGYPTIAN.
He never, ever shut up! Cost me 50 bucks to the YMCA from the air port.

Called Karina and Jimmy. They met up with me and we had a wonderful meal at a restaurant near the Avon, but so nice and quiet. We ate outside on the veranda. From there I went back to the room. Packed, and called the front desk for a wake up call at 7:00 AM... I know better than to trust such details to others.

I awoke in the morning at 7:20 AM there had been no call... I flew like hell, dashed down stairs and turned in my key telling the reception: "YOU NEVER CALLED ME!" she said: "oh, I am so happy you are awake because I called room 507... (my room was 501) and that man was very irate and rude with me!" Well, no shit lady! I explained to her that I did not have time to walk to 123 Worcester St. to catch the coach to QT. She called me a cab. I made it.

The morning was lovely. Cool, gentle sunshine... boarded the bus. FRONT SEAT. Dug out my I Pod. Bud in ears, dark glasses on, feeling good. A long 6 hour drive into QT. but some amazing sights.

We stop in Ashburton. An older woman boards the bus. She asked me IF she could sit beside me as she becomes ill if she sits too fat back in the bus... SURE. Well, one thing leads to another and I KNEW WHO SHE WAS. Devella Gore. A very famous artist from NZ as well as she has quite a vineyard and wedding chapel near Arrowtown. We chatted away. I told her I knew who she was. She was delighted. Years ago, she had heard me in concert in QT. but, she did not relate to anything I was saying... then the penny dropped. She grinned from ear to ear... "You played my piano years ago, and I have your recordings..." from then on we had a fantastic ride together. We know quite a few people in common as well as she is very well known in NZ. Her books have been translated into four languages.

She is a speaker who is forever in demand in NZ. Her sense of humor is a joy. We got talking about her winery... She told me that yes, Central Otago Wines are becoming world famous, especially the Pino's. They have one that is excellent for the kidneys. One is called Pino Gris, the other Pino Noir, the other PEEEEE NO MORE..." God, this went on and on. She was a joy to be with.

Home in QT was a blessing. I do miss my hide-a-way. I even cooked dinner. My adventure is over until another year. Well, that is a lie. Every day of my life is an adventure.

THEN TODAY... one of my favorite cities has been devastated by a disastrous earth quake. Christchurch NZ... In November they endured a horrendous earth quake, but this one killed people. Many people. It is world news.
We are fine here in QT, but sense the pain and loss. It brings back memories of 9/11 in USA.

I am so happy I spent time in CHCH over the many years of coming to NZ. I made my MUSICAL DEBUT at the Great Hall in CHCH. The next morning after the concert the review appeared in the CHCH PRESS... the review hangs on the wall of my restaurant. IT IS A GREAT REVIEW... from a very difficult critic. He writes scathing things about some of the greatest artists, but my review was a pianist's dream...

I have spent hours inside the famous Cathedral which came crashing down today. This city will become another San Francisco... like NYC... a city that endured Atlantis. May peace be with us all and most of all those that are in such pain.

Chapter 3

2011-02-20T20:15:00.000-08:00

I awoke this morning feeling crook.
Crook, is a word The Kiwis use for meaning ill. Not well. Under the weather... Today we are driving up to the TOP TRUCK and spend two nights. Late afternoon I did begin to pull myself together and the strange dizzy feelings disappeared.

Rutha had baked homemade breads. Banana bread and a long loaf of peasant bread. Coolers, (chilly bins) full of goodies. Our packs full of STUFF... my computer so we could watch movies, listen to music and if service was available I would check my e mails.

This Truck is unique. Sits on the top of a hill over looking the bay. The tide was out, but would soon be coming in. I have a photo of the truck and the inside of the truck posted below. The person/artist that built the living quarters had a mind for detail. I happen to love these kind of places. We had a decent refrigerator, two burner gas hot plate, and a very old black Cole Stove! The shower was outside. One of those huge old bath tubs with claws for feet and the shower was attached to the side of the truck. You stood inside the tub and splashed away! I have not taken a shower with soap and hot water in the open air for ages! Such an invigorating feeling. Rutha, unpacked the food items and poured me a glass of cold Chardonnay wine.

I had booked a massage with a person I have wanted to massage me for years. Yana Hoos.
We drove to her house in a light rain.

Yana's house is all NATURAL. Wood walls, no paint! (I like that) a huge dining room table with fresh sliced oranges on a plate, fresh cut flowers...

She has "the touch"... Walked up the stairs holding on a hand rail which is a long branch from a tree. The massage room was wonderful. Sarongs of many colors on the walls, a shrine... we talked. She asked me what I needed, I told her about the left side of my body... music... she chose PERFECT flute and piano... TUI is a popular massage wax used down here... she makes it.

She did something I have never had a massage therapist ask me: "Do you wish to lay face down, or on your back?" I said: "BOTH!" She had had a very big day. 7 other massage therapists had been with her all day learning how to do 'Holistic Pulsing'. Yana is a small compact woman with long brown hair. She left me to undress and get my blob of flesh on the alter, (table) face down. When I looked through the piece of the table that frames and hold your face I noticed a bowl of stones looking up at me! I LOVE ROCKS... these were some of my favorite stones... I knew I was in loving company.

Yana's hands have eyes and ears as well as they are full of music. She found every trigger point that was giving me any discomfort. She did apply the pulsating holistic method to my arms and hands. Time stopped for me. She worked for over an hour. When all was completed I felt marvelous.

Rutha was waiting for me in her spray-painted turck... Yana came outside and embraced her and they chatted for a brief moment. We drove back to our TOP TRUCK! Rutha had set a gorgeous table outside hoping we could eat watching the sunset and the ocean... the misty rain would not give us the chance to indulge in the outdoors. We ate inside. One of my favorite meals. A pasta with veggies, salad and breads. I cleaned up the dishes.

I have told Rutha about a a series that came out years ago called "TALES OF THE CITY". Amestead Maupin wrote the stories about San Francisco in the 70's. Rutha moved to San Francisco in 1975 from NY talk about a culture change? I believe she was 18 or 19 years old... I have watched Tales of the City time and time again over the years. It is a true story about my youth. We loved it. Slept like dead logs and awoke to a gorgeous day.

VALENTINE'S DAY! We hiked up into a beautiful waterfall. Walked on beaches... then near 4 PM we cleaned up... drove to a wonderful new place for a 5 course Valentine's Dinner. It was divine. Photos are posted.
Back to our TOP TRUCK and finished watching the Tales of The City!

Next morning up early and tidied the house. Drove to the recycling bins, dumped all glass, etc. then back to Sans Souci Inn.
This would be my last day and night in the bay.

We got back to SSI, set up camp inside my room, did laundry, wrote in my journal, but best of all, instead of eating out we had a meal in Rutha's cottage. Then we watched a movie I have told her about for years: SORDID LIVES.

Walked back to my room, but in route sat down on the damp grass and gazed into the heavens... all those endless universes and places of mystery.
Did not have to be up early so walked to the beach. The sound of water kissing the sandy shore with gently timed pats,
baby loving slaps with the hands of a gossamer waves touches me beyond words. Went sound asleep.

Chapter 2

2011-02-19T20:21:00.000-08:00

Two French Doors open out from my room onto a small stone patio. There is a fine mist of early morning showers which enfolds every thing in a different light. Almost surreal.

Grape vines have woven their many arms around the roof which shelters my patio. Clusters of green grapes are hanging on the vines awaiting the day they are mature. Laden with sweet sugar and dark color. These grapes will have been kissed by the hot rays of the sun, ocean air and most of the tranquillity of this place. I'm sitting here sipping strong coffee simply doing nothing.

I will manage a walk on the beach after I shower and shave.

Sans Souci Inn has a compost toilet system. I will never understand why in the USA we don't use this type of toilet in our National Forests and camp grounds. NO STINK! NO FLIES! Instead we use chemicals that really do not cut the scent of human waste and flies can drive one crazy inside those little LONG DROPS/OUT HOUSES. Here you simply use the toilet, then cover the waste with saw dust and chips of wood. You can also put left over food items in the toilet... AMAZING how the thing works.

Am walking on the beach! The sunshine is burning the foggy mist away and the sky is a brilliant blue!

I have to keep telling myself how fortunate I am to be here. How blessed I am to be with a dear friend that pampers me to death. How unbelievable I feel health-wise from two years ago( when I was here!)

Sometimes there is nothing WORSE in my life than the sensation of crashing into a LIMITATION!

When I became so very ill with Cancer, E Coli Infection and a mered assortment of other physical disasters I crashed mentally because I realized I was honestly limited in my control over such demons. Apparently I needed to be smacked up the side of my head a few times to set aside my arrogance and pride... to really appreciate my life and the many gifts I receive every hour of the day and night.

Evening... I follow the phases of the moon like a dog that lops along side it's master, wagging it's tail and with tougn hanging out licks the hand of the master with sloppy kisses of affection and devotion. Well, if I could I would probably lick the moon!

The moon and stars have been the one and only CONSTANT in my life. Ever since I was a tiny boy I loved watching the moon and stars... I gaze at the moon tonight and it is not full. Will be a full moon the night I am back in QT. February 18.

Many things have come and gone in 64 years of my life ... but the phases of the moon and galaxies have always been there for me. When I gaze into the firmament I always think about Beethoven. He also observed the same moon and stars... Galileo, Shakespeare, Newton, Einstein, Bach, Monet, Gilbran, Whitman... the list of some great people that have lived under this ceiling of heavenly lights are gone, yet we share something in common... the planet and the sky.

Dinner was a gorgeous venison. I grew up on venison and it is one of my favorite sources of protein.

After dinner Rutha and I sat on my patio and talked way into the wee hours of the morning. Tomorrow we drive to the Top Truck. Kind of like a Hippie Bus made into a house. I LIKE THESE PLACES! Also, I am set for a massage with a woman I have often heard about. Yanna Hoos.
It will be a healing as well as a little magic sprinkled here and there.

More later.

My week away... in the Golden Bay of NZ

2011-02-19T01:45:00.000-08:00

Chapter 1

I seem to have a problem with dates and times. I told everyone I was booked to leave on the Wed. 10Th of Feb.
NOT SO. Wed. was wrong... the 10Th was Thurs. Okay, I suffered some embarrassments, but survived.

Michael, Anne and I got up round 7 AM on Thurs. the 10Th and began our drive to CH CH by 10: 30 AM. The morning was 'out of the box' as Kiwi's say. A perfect day.

We all were Chatting away in route to Cromwell. Stopped for coffee and snacks. Continue driving... all is going along like gold... stopped in places and old towns we had not been in for years.

Not too many changes... except we park the car slower, get out of the car slower and stand around pointing at sights. DROVE INTO Christchurch. Mind you, this city endured a horrendous earth quake only a couple of months ago! San Francisco type thing. I had made accommodations at Latimer Square. The Latimer Hotel. OMG, we did not have our very old and battered road map in the car! We found it. Nice room. $150.00 NZD for the night.
That included a breakfast. Got settled in, then drove to the car park near the famous Cathedral and began looking for a place to eat. I spied the HERITAGE. This was originally an old government building that we have observed gradual changes into an amazing place full of pent houses, spas and other botiques and it has an amazing restaurant. I SAID I WILL BUY DINS, we are going there.

Had a fantastic meal. Walked about the square and back to the motel. I had to catch a flight into Nelson mid morning. Not a problem. I had my small suit case, and back pack. Hell, we had lost the map we purchased that morning... I could only remember years past the names of roads that lead to the CHCH International Air Port. Well, we saw a van moving fast with stickers claiming it was and airport van... FOLLOW IT! we did. Then began looking for any roadside signs that had an air plane... made it to the airport we all know... but, the damn place is under major redevelopment. Alas! we drive around and around. Finally parked and discoverd DOMESTIC FLIGHTS.

I had a 50 min. plane ride into Nelson. The Nelson Air Port is very old fashioned. I had a couple of hours before the Able Tasman bus was to pick me up and drive me to Takaka. I had a nice sandwich, read my book, wrote in my journal, even took a light nap... NO BUS NO BUS NO BUS NO BUS... I called the Queenstown Information Center. The damn bus forgot to pick me up at the airport. Well, it cost them tons of money. It was not my fault. The Center said, DON'T MOVE. A TAXI WILL COLLECT YOU IN MINUTES AND DRIVE LIKE HELL TO A PLACE WHERE YOU WILL CONNECT WITH THE BUS... Okay. Sure enough a taxi arrives the driver shouting my name. My original bus ticket was $30.00 it cost the bus lines $122.00 for the Taxi because of their major screw up. We connected.

Rode on the bus to Takaka. When I boarded the bus there were no seats open except for one. A lovely young girl from England patted the seat beside her and said "WELCOME". We chatted away and everything was flowing... then we began the steep ride and narrow curves up the mountains... she lost it and puked like old faithful. I helped her clean up. What an ordeal.
Driving through farms lands, mountains and most of all peaceful valleys finally made it into Takak. There was one of my soul mates Rutha waiting with open arms and her beater truck.

We drove like hell to the Sans Souci Inn where she works as a WOOFER. Sun was beginning to set over the Tasman Sea. I got into my room. (pictures are on the my blog) took a shower, poured a Pino Noir and laid my things out before dinner.

Walked onto the beach at sunset. OMG! From there into the dinning room and had a delicious meal. Roast beef with all the trimmings.... you think there are no trimmings on a perfect roast beef dinner? GO EAT AT SANS SOUCI INN.

Rutha was my Table Attendant. After dins, I walked to my room. She met me and we sat outside on the patio with a candle,
bottle of the most divine wine and talked until the wee hours of the morning. She had my room set up with a plunger for coffee, the most beautiful bar of soap, extra towels, fruit in a bowl from the trees in the garden...

Slept like a baby in heaven... next morning, awoke made my coffee in the French Press, took a shower, had a lovely breakfast, a gentle walk on the beach and then we started the truck for a hike...

LATER.

Valentine's Dinner! Coffee on a very old boat...

2011-02-17T21:30:00.000-08:00

more of Golden Bay NZ

2011-02-17T21:25:00.001-08:00

More of Golden Bay NZ

2011-02-17T21:21:00.000-08:00

The past set of photos were of: A delicious evening dinner at the San Souci Inn. Venison. Next, me on our first walk. Next a wonderful Euctalyptus tree releasing it's skin. Rutha with her spray painted 1986 pick up... my wonderful room at SSI.

My week away... in the Golden Bay of NZ

2011-02-17T21:12:00.000-08:00

I will be writing stories upon stories about my adventure. Amazing insights, gorgeous weather and far too much food. Wonderful walks and most of all being pampered to living death by Rutha, one of dearest friends. Enjoy some of the photos.

Memory-a spoof by Pam Peterson

2011-02-06T01:11:00.000-08:00

Things that do not SPEAK

2011-02-02T01:00:00.000-08:00

I just took a photo of my window in my studio.

It is after ten PM and things are becoming darker... These plants are HAPPY!
They live inside a small space that has music playing... COLORS dancing... beautiful scents as well as other herbs and plants thriving on all the surroundings... the drapes behind their arms and hands are orange, red, yellow, lime, and gold crossed with a silver tinge or certain tones one gets from a sunset.

A friend in Alpine, years ago gave me a priceless book. It was about how to grow anything green. I have used the data in that book ever since. At the time she gave me the book her husband had suddenly died. She also picked up the fact I was growing Hen's Bane in my gardens behind my restaurant. Hell, I thought they were gorgeous things... NOT SO: POISON!

If I had been a really good Hippie type boy, or a true farmer I would have grown something worth while... like: DOPE, HERBS for my KITCHEN... no, I grew Hens BANE!

Vikki set me straight...(well not really straight, but on the right road) and we got rid of the poison. I let the gardens go to wrack and ruin. She did help me plant some lovely bulbs that were very exotic... lillies or certain genre and other such things. Well they still thrive and live. People to this day photos of the Oriental Lillies.

Can't live without the plants and pets. THEY SPEAK TO ME IN A LANGUAGE NO ONE WOULD EVER UNDERSTAND except:
J.-Allen Boone. That man is amazing. I only learned about him through another dear friend that is to in tune with pets...
Debbie I will forever be grateful. (She is also a star-seed woman of endless understanding and love.)

I have my trip to the Gold Coast of NZ all planned. I will take you there with me via a camera and my legs.
To think a year ago, I could not do this... two years ago I was for dead... to think I am happy and healthy because of my pets and plants is an enormous stretch of the mind... but I like it.

Love everything you have ever touched, breathed or loved, hated or best of all been involved with!
More later.

Personality

2011-01-24T00:40:00.000-08:00

Along with every thing else that is going on I found this site that is quite amazing. You answer questions then it gives you a description of your personality type. Wanna know me... this is absolutely the truth! AHHHHHhhhhhhh!
www.personalitypage.com/html/INFJ.html

NEW youtube

2011-01-23T20:13:00.000-08:00

I've had a strange day. I woke up feeling depressed and my hands ached like holy hell! Worked out at the gym, had a wonderful lunch at Hamill's in Frankton, then home to prepare for a big party we are having at the house tomorrow afternoon. I have quite a bit of food to prepare as well as make sure my end of this house is clean and the gardens are looking like a perfect picture of bliss.

I decided to plant my butt in my desk chair and watch something on my computer like: my youtube site. LOOOOO and BEEEEE
HOLD I have a new piece I composed uploaded! I hit the play button and was over come with how beautiful my engineer does his magic with my music!!!!!!!!!! I had not checked my e mails so I had no clue about this gift!

Kahlil's Dream is in honor of Kahilil Gibran and his book the PROPHET. I wrote this during a strange time in my life. It seemed that nothing could balance my thoughts and most of my mood swings. I began reading The Prophet over and over again... it has forever worked for me since I was 14 years old.

Enjoy.

A PERFECT SUMMER DAY!!!

2011-01-08T20:10:00.001-08:00

This morning my neighbor was taking his boat out fishing on the lake. He invited me to go along. What a morning. One could not dream of a more perfect summer day.

Lake Wakatipu is the third largest fresh water lake in New Zealand. The water is freezing beyond belief.

Being on the water this morning was a euphoric feeling of joy and freedom. I spent a little over an hour on the lake and then had John let me off at the dock in the village.

From there I took myself to a fabulous lunch at Solera Vino a tiny French Cafe. I had a table at the open window. When I am in Queenstown having a day like to day I can imagine being any where on planet earth. Norway, Sweden, Iceland, Europe, South America... Simply watching people walk up and down the narrow street outside the cafe window!

I eat at this restaurant every month. I always sense the spirit of Debussy, Ravel, Monet, and so many of the great painters, poets and philosophers who were French and I know they also spent time in cafes with narrow walks made out of stone and gorgeous people passing by. No doubt many were inspired to create some amazing art as they ate and drank in such energy filled spaces. Possibly this is one reason I love New Orleans?

After doing some quick shopping at the market I walked home. I have been kissed by the sun today. I spent the rest of the day at my keyboard and in the garden reading. Life is beautiful. Tonight the sky will be filled with billions of galaxies and a kazillion stars! I'll take a moon bath. When I am alone under the night sky I talk to everyone I have ever known that crossed over to the other side of time within my lifetime.

Chinese One Arm One Leg Ballet...

2011-01-01T00:26:00.001-08:00

I cannot seem to upload the site to my blog. This will touch a place in your hearts beyond words, music, or reason... Why are we so unkind to each other? LOVE is indestructible. Type in a you-tube search for the Chinese Ballet one arm one leg... enjoy.

New Year's Eve in Queenstown, NZ

2010-12-31T00:53:00.000-08:00

It is going on to 10 something in the evening... The air is full of people sounds. Laugher, conversation, music, motor boats, skate boards, shoes and feet walking on gravel... beer cans being flipped open, cars being started, dogs speaking to the night sky, young children screaming with laughter... wood being chopped for fires, lots of yaaaa hooosss... the new year will happen in a couple of hours, then the fire works... QT goes out for the fire works. (Like USA, they have a great thing with China... China makes some amazing fire works.) China makes fire works for New Years Eve in the Southern Hem... but loans the USA billions of dollars so we can fight useless wars... depends on how you view oil and it's value.

Very soon USA will have to pay back the BIG GUYS and when they cannot do it... well.... those that have been loyal to Asia will survive. It is very simply to figure out. We blasted the hell out of Japan, we destroyed what was once Vietnam and Cambodia and Guam and the list goes on and on... Karma is a dangerous energy.

I made a gorgeous dinner. Cucumber sandwiches, Spanish Olives, Red Beets in Brine, Brie Cheese broiled on French Bread, Baked beans, three kinds of cheese, crackers, Smoked Chicken, Smoked Salmon, my very own mayonnaise made with fresh mint and dill,
Cadbury Black Forest Chocolate... Fruit Cake, and coffee... I had three wines...

At the stoke of 12 I will wish everything and everyone I have or will love all the happiness in the universe. See you all soon.

The meaning of love...

2010-12-30T01:05:00.000-08:00

Years ago, which seems like eons ago to my way of thinking... a piano teacher of mine told me something I had forgotten until the past couple of years! (do not doubt what your mind has imprinted and recorded... everything from your past will come back to haunt you.)

He said: Love is indestructible. Only the ARROGANCE of one's EGO can presume that LOVE REQUIRES PROTECTION! (I was 15)

He was 100% right as far as my own lifetime. I have had some amazing incidents happen this past year that PROVE his point. I will not go into details because the details ONLY BELONG TO ME, but so many things from my past, many many years ago came to life this past year in phone calls, letters, and events that I NEVER DREAMED WOULD EVER OCCURR.

Some of the people that contacted me were from my teen years. They were in the process of dying. Some were trying to link up with some sort of bliss from years ago. I only know that I forgive, and that I hope and pray I am forgiven and still loved by many people.

Love is a strange and magical energy. We are created OUT OF IT'S PASSION.

bits a pieces about cooking...

2010-12-28T22:00:00.000-08:00

My restaurant, "BRENTHOVEN'S is one of the many precious creations. I have not a clue why, but the past year many people would ask me where, how, when, for what reason I seriously took up the art of cooking! (I am not a graduate of some fancy culinary school... such as...)

One day, possibly one day I will write a short story about how, when, and why!

Most often a necessity demands we learn a certain truth or we discover a GIFT we had no knowledge was dwelling within our DNA / RNA.

When I was in my 20's and 30's I was literally a "vagabond". I drifted around the planet... making music and my music always took me to places and people I needed to see and fall in love with. When I could not find a job playing the piano I would become hungry... well go figure. I am rather dumb, but not stupid. If there was a job where there was food I would eat. Washing dishes, waiting on tables, prep work was never above my LOFTY STANDARDS.

I had some unfortunate circumstances occur once when I was traveling to San Francisco California. I ended up outside of Elko Nevada. I truly was in a mess. (If you have ever watched BAGDAD CAFE, the original movie... well I was there in 1969-70) I came upon a truck stop cafe... pale green paint on cinder blocks......... a sign in the window. "Prep and night-time cook needed. Apply inside." You must understand in the 60's and 70's truck stops and truck drivers were not as fat and homely as today! SORRY. In fact, they were most kind and would help you get to places you had to get to!

I walked in and talked with the head chef. He would be my age now!!! He was a drunk. I watched this man pour a water glass full of vodka every morning at 6:00 AM and drink it before 8:15 AM and still be able to stand on his feet and pour another full glass of VODAKA... He lived behind the cafe in a small trailer with a American Indian woman. She was very nice and had gorgeous hair. He was as kind as any father could be.

I knew NOTHING about a grill, and all the other equipment inside a restaurant. This man showed me everything I actually know to this day. He was a kind and most generous person. I fried and cooked over 300 eggs on that damn grill alone one morning, but mind you, I was young, dumb and full of adrenaline. I LOVED ADVENTURE and to top it off I DID IT.

He showed me how to make sauces. Beranaise, Hollandaise, white sauce, brown sauces, cook a steak, fry eggs, boil potatoes and most of all the fact: FOOD IS SACRED. It absorbs your emotions. If, you are hateful the food will taste like shit! (his very words.)

Well, I ate and drank extremely well and made it to San Francisco in one piece and with a lot confidence. This man had cooked in some very fine restaurants from NYC to CALIFORNIA. I know he is long gone from this planet, but he watches over me.

Here are some simple things he taught me.

1. Use ONLY kitchen scissors to cut bacon or other meats into thin strips.

2. Freeze overripe bananas in plastic and use them for shakes, cakes, muffins and pancakes.

3. A MOUTHFUL of WATER or a SILVER TEASPOON held inside your mouth will cut the tears when cutting onions.

4. Always rub olive oil around a pot before boiling pasta

5. Always put a TEASPOON of Sea Salt in a pot of water when boiling eggs. Keeps the shells from cracking.

6. Only use REALLY GOOD CHEF KNIVES. Crush the sides of a garlic bulb, so as to peel the skin from the garlic.

7. Freeze left over wines, Red or White in Ice Cube trays for sauces etc. then use them in soups etc.

8. Never whip an egg white unless it is at room temperature.

9. A small pinch of Baking Soda will make mashed potatoes lighter and fluffy.

10. NEVER EVER PUT HONEY IN THE COOLER! The honey will loose it's texture.

11. All SPICES MUST be stored in a dark, cook cupboard. Otherwise they loose their flavor.

12. Proofing bread dough. Place the bowl in a sink of warm, NOT HOT water... and DO NOT let the plastic wrap touch the
water! It works. (These were the days restaurants made their own breads)

13. If a soup is salty ADD CHUNKS OF RAW POTAOE. The Potato will absorb a hell of a lot of the salt. (simply never add the
salt until the end of the TASTING process.)

14. Honey or raw lemon juice will save all fruits from turning brown.

15. Before grating cheese. (Mind you, we used to grate it with a grater.) Put the grater in the freezer for a few MINUTES. The
cold metal will not allow the cheese to stick to the grater.

16. He used to INSIST that putting potatoes end up in cup cake pans and baking them cut the baking time in half. Well, I have
not always found that to be true. But he was the BOSS!

17. Put Walnuts in the water when boiling cabbages. It keeps the stink inside the room at a nothing degree.

18. ALWAYS pour red wine over hamburger, steaks etc. keeps them moist and tender.

Then of course was his last rule: Put a slug of alcohol into anything too dry, red wine makes a store/distributor purchased pasta sauce lose and it will loose it's MANUFACTURED FLAVOR... like he always poured RUM over certain cakes!

I am not condemning his techniques. They work. Over the many years of cooking I learned things on my own. Blessings as it were from my parents, grandparents... and other ghosts. People that have passed on many years before me but lived in my DNA... Oh, one last thing! Always wrap CELERY in FOIL. It will keep it crisper. Most of all know you will not live very long without food and it is a blessing from the green planet we live within and upon. We only live on the crust of this amazing orb.

Will write after New Years unless I get anxious and need to vent about something! Happy eating and most of joyous cooking.

Xmas in New Zealand and Mt.Cook 2010

2010-12-27T20:18:00.001-08:00

Love and Windows of Opportunity

2010-12-15T03:27:00.000-08:00

EXPLANATION

2010-12-15T03:11:00.000-08:00

The photos are of:

Christmas Tree 2010...

Tomato plants in my garden boxes. Some Strawberry plants...

SOPHIA the cat! What a love she is... 10 months old and she is SMARTER than HELL.

The Lake Wakatipu... Notice the ORBS!

Enjoy. Will post more later.

New Zealand December 2010

2010-12-14T21:19:00.001-08:00

Jean-Robert Ipousteguy

2010-12-12T20:10:00.000-08:00

In November I visited my sister who lives in New Orleans. I have always loved New Orleans because of the food and music. It has one of the only air ports I know of that is named after a great musician... LOUIS ARMSTRONG!

Many many years ago I worked in Tibidoux LA. In the heart of the sugar cane district. I was living in Dallas TX at the time playing piano where ever the agency found me a job! Sheraton Hotels had built a kind of Motel/INN in the sugar cane district for sales persons that were forever in and out of the area. There was a small collage near by, "Nicholas State College"??? (I believe that was the name of the school).
Some nights students from the theater dept. would frequent the piano bar and sing show tunes as well as all kinds of old jazz and blues.
I was going through a very difficult period of my life in the late 60's and early 70's and I self medicated on a sweet liquor called JACK DANIALS. I did drive into New Orleans on Sunday and Mondays... days I had off. Even went to Baton Rouge ounce. BUT, the music in NOLA always lived inside my head.

Well years later I return to NOLA. My sister is a fantastic artist and therefore she KNOWS the places where the music is HOT and the ART is above average and the wine... the food... you name it.
She is your angel guide to the city as well as being a great cook herself she can explain things like
MAC STUFF (computers etc), ART, CATS, BOOKS, POETRY and COMFORT THINGS like no one else on earth.
She is one of those people that has a gift of invisible intuition.

She took me to a place I will dream of forever and hope to return often as well as she allowed me to discover an artist I had no knowledge about until the afternoon we spent in the SCULPTURE GARDENS in New Orleans. Please go to this site: http://www.sculpture.net/gallery/showgallery.php/cat/519 or if the address fails google the Sculpture Gardens in New Orleans.

We walked and I drooled and I sighed and sang praises to some amazing pieces of art, then we came upon something that went straight to my gut and heart... GRAND VAL DE GRACE 1977... by Jean-Robert Ipoustoguy. French!? Well, New Orleans is my little part of France in America!

This sculpture signifies Birth, LIFE, and DEATH... the natural light of the day played a touching melody of light and shadow on every curve and angle. Peaks, valleys as well as flat surfaces screamed out of pain, joy and most of all surrendering to the eternal truth: DEATH EQUALIZES US ALL.

I walked slowly around this piece... I kept thinking about it during the night... I looked Ipousteguy up on a google search when I was in NYC. Everyone has a "moment" as it were, where everything comes together in one word, a sound, a scene, a color...

I thank my lucky stars for me sister sharing the garden with me as well introducing me to something I NEEDED. She also traveled to Rome Italy years ago. I was with her! She was like having your own travel guide and most of all ARTIST EXPERTISE as a guide. She explained so many paintings and great elements of the world of art and artists me. (of course the trip to Italy will always hold a special place in my heart... I went to Christiphories Museum... He invented the PIANO)

It's Wine Time so I must stop writing and wine about everything I possibly can.

In New Zealand at last!

2010-12-08T20:52:00.000-08:00

The trip from Wyoming to South Island New Zealand has been some what of an "AWAKENING" or better yet lessons in aging and sage-ing... by aging with sage-ing I mean discovering hidden gems of wisdom within the process of aging.

Because I do not have the same "bench-marks" as other people meaning: you have a marriage, you have children, they begin grade school, there are activities and marks along the way and eventually graduations and they marry etc... however, in my case there are moments when I honestly FORGET how old I AM! My body reminds me, but I toss it off by taking a pain pill or a glass of wine!

We drove out of Wyoming in a blizzard. Stopped by the home of two of our oldest and best friends to say goodbye. Then flat out to Utah. Made it to my parents around midnight. No problems... but with my parents in their mid 80's and one in her mid 90's the picture takes on a different light as well as we drove our two cats to Utah. The back of the truck was FULL. Suit cases, boxes of things... the back seat of the truck had my other mother strapped in, two cats and tons of blankets and water on board. God all mighty we made the "Beverly Hillbillies" look like normal people.

All went well thanks to the magic of coffee and four wheel drive. Spent 6 days in Utah. I could never ever liver in that state again.
Way too many people... there is nothing of my past that exists. My Grandmother's house, the houses I grew up in are GONE.
The corner where I used to catch a school bus all through grade school and Jr. High is a major 4 lane intersection with a Super Wall Mart, Wall-greens, every kind of eatery and even a 24 hour gym! WTH!!! It was full of cattle, corn and tomatoes when I was a kid.

My father lives in a different time frame... everything relates to the PAST... NO future or reality in the now... my dear mother works her butt off caring, cooking, cleaning... but her own health is very fragile. Dementia is a cruel disease. I hope to GOD I never have it... I doubt I will because I think I did have it when I was younger. Therefore been there. Denial was a great way to live in my 20's and 30's..........

Between Doctor appointments, shopping, hair DO's etc. it was quite a week. Thanksgiving was a success. Then the bomb hit!
I had booked our flights to LAX on December 29th instead of November 29th! I called Southwest... they changed it to the tune of 50 dollars per person except Anne... We made the flight. From LAX to Auckland NZ is about 12 hours. LONG. I had asked my physician if I could obtain 4 tablets of AMBIAM TO HELP ME SLEEP ON THE FLIGHT. I took one with a glass of wine when they served the dinner... could not sleep... by damn I opened my back pack with all the meds and read on the bottle... "TAKE WITHOUT FOOD" SHIT! what a waste of money and sleep. So, I put on my Bose head set and drifted in and out of a fitful sleep.

We landed smoothly and in one piece in Auckland. Took the shuttle to DOMESTIC FLIGHTS and boarded for QT. Love this country. Things are different than in America... they are relaxed... they are kinder and they seem to honestly care.

As if planned our cab driver from the Air Port knew us and we had a great welcome home riding with him in his cab. The house is perfect. The roses are in bloom, my garden is full of ripe strawberries and I am loving my piano and NOOK. YEP! I love books but I had downloaded a ton of books before leaving the states. Whoopee.... I am so into computers...

I awoke this morning after 10 hours of sleep and ate a late breakfast on the patio in the sunshine. Have not joined the gym yet. WHY? BODY PAIN. I have worked out for over 40 years. When I turned 60 I still maintained a 15... and more inch arm... well, I over did many things because of ego, vanity and fear of growing old, only to surrender to the reality of TIME... Cancer, hernias,
bladder, my left arm's triceps muscles have been destroyed... they are re-growing... sight, and heart seem pretty good, but I have had to make friends with Arthur, Right-is and a few other energies I never dreamed I would embrace.

Walking and making music save me and my soul. A kind word and wide smile can make my day. When I am down in the village shopping... buying food items, wine, the bakery and the daily papers... young people remember me! They say: Welcome back. I remember you from last year! I remember them too.

Will write in a few days... in the mean time life is gentle and so good.

The snow...

2010-11-23T19:58:00.000-08:00

Out of the bosom of the air, out of the cloud-folds of her garments shaken,
Over the woodlands brown and bare,
Silent and soft and slow descends the snow... (Henry Wadsworth)

We are getting slammed with a Mess In The West... Blizzards. I love it.
Reminds me of when I was a little boy and the first of many times I ever came to
Wyoming.

Will try to leave here in the late afternoon... IF the roads are safe. And I
will write again from Utah and then New Zealand.

But I think of another favorite poet of mine...

IF, in the twilight of memory we shall speak again together and you shall sing to me
a deeper song,
And IF our hands should meet in another dream, we shall build another tower in the sky.

The snow is lovely soft and deep, but I have miles to go before I sleep and promises to keep
and promises to keep.

For my 64 B Day I get inches of clean snow and roses...

2010-11-15T11:13:00.000-08:00

Mystries and Secrets within music

2010-11-13T19:40:00.001-08:00

It is 10:42 PM EST. 8:42 RMT...

I have had an
over dose of so many beautiful emotions as well as love, music, new understandings about music, and most of all bits and pieces about who and what I am!

Things can get quite dull in Wyoming (I guess?) Not for me. I never ever read enough books, see enough movies, watch enough sunsets, sunrises, smell enough scents of pine, cedar, sagebrush and ever so many perfumes that travel on the air currents of open spaces. NOW in NYC one can get it all in one breath.

I took the Long Island Railway to hungtinton to be with two of my beloved friends... Ernie and Carol.

(She is a musical mentor, master of my musical spirit as well as my mind and hands)

They live in a sacred space of beauty and the balance between space and land is PERFECT! One has to simply walk out their kitchen door and breath in the perfection of squirrels, birds, leaves turning into pallets of cosmic colors... (YOU CANNOT GO THERE UNLESS YOU BELONG TO THE CLUB OF BEAUTY AND LOVE!)

Carol is a pianist chef. She can cook food that makes any pianist's abilities reach beyond imagination. She also cares. That is the KEY to opening any door within the inner sanctum a person's sacred sanctuary of musical spirituality. She is the nurturing angel of musical creativity and she has the gift of releasing the magic of one's own music. WE ALL HAVE OUR OWN MUSICAL DNA. SHE CAN FIND IT AND ALLOWS IT TO OPEN IT'S WINGS.

After a wonderful performance class I was privileged to spend the night in her home... I am wake up by the sounds of her piano. Breakfast is from heaven... then WORK. I MEAN WORK... I do believe my playing has found it's freedom. We had a glorious lunch of Fennel and potato soup, breads, cheese and wine... then of to the train...

Because of a change in plans I met up with Seymour Berstein, my adored teacher for many years... WHAT A LESSON. We worked on Brhams. I learned so very many things about his scores... the Rach. Preludes I am working on... we went to a favorite Japanese Restaurant for dinner. His stories are priceless. He has known some amazing artists that are no longer wit us. Astoniting as it sounds SEYMOUR IS 83 and looks younger than me! He is one of the most intelligent people I have ever known and his piano is a palette most artists would cry for.

He and Carol met up on line this year! Two of my dearest and most loved musical friends. I cannot for a moment imagine life without either one of them.

Carol's book THE ANATOMY OF A NY RECITAL gave me the spark to possibly do such an amazing feat. Seymour's book WITH YOUR OWN TWO HANDS drove me to the moment. I saved money, I practiced my guts out, I cried, I laughed, I believed and most of all I DID IT. BECAUSE OF TWO PEOPLE'S WRITTEN WORDS and because when I wrote them simple works on paper they BELIEVED IN ME. Which made all the difference!

If there be anyone out there that has dreams there are angels that will take you there. My two musical angels are out there but I will never reveal where they are unless I KNOW YOU!

I return to Wyoming early in the morning. Like 7 AM. God that means I have to be up at some ungodly hour! WHO CARES??!!

Because of economy this is the first year I have not attended at Concert or Musical in NYC... My lessons were more important. The concerts with my teachers were the blessed gifts that NO money can buy ...

It's still a great world...

2010-11-12T08:42:00.000-08:00

My time in New Orleans was an absolute pleasure. Great food, gorgeous Jazz and interesting, loving people. The city keeps rebuilding and at the same time maintaining it's vibrant energy. If anyone is going to New Orleans do spend time in the Sculpture Garden at the city park. I was amazed they do not charge admission. The place is magic. Two nights I sat in the show room of the Sonesta Hotel listening to music that only comes out of the heart and soul of men and woman that have found their voice and USE IT!

I am writing this from Penn Station in NYC. Waiting for my train to Long Island. I have loved this city since I was a little boy. I dreamed of the day I would be able to visit it. My first visit was when I was 17. Since then I have made at least 40 trips to Gotham City... Since 1968 to 2010 I've experienced the evolution of one of the most powerful cities on planet earth. It all has been for the best. Most of all I love the art galleries, theaters, concerts, music and I always discover some place I've never been before.

Yesterday I rented a practice room at Steinway Hall. The room had two gorgeous instruments. One was listed at $71,000.00 the other $52,000.00. I want them both. I played on the one, then moved to the other piano performing the same piece. There is one thing about Steinways, each piano has it's own sound... personality. From there I spent the day at a Museum I knew nothing about, The Museum of Art and Design on Columbus Circle. OMG, it is wonderful and the restaurant on the 9th floor is the perfect place for a scrumptious meal and the view of Central Park is amazing... all the fall colors.

After 4 hours in the museum I walked the park until darkness. The crest of the moon guiding me back to my hotel.
I am a blessed man beyond my wildest dreams... It is still a wonderful world.

DID IT

2010-11-05T17:15:00.001-07:00

What a day!

Two years ago today, November 5th I was coming out of a major surgery... two surgeons worked on me. One removed 1/3 or my left kidney which had a cancerous tumor the size of a large lemon. I had a Pantaloon hernia repaired, some other body parts made right and probably the worst part of this ordeal: I was full of E Coli infection. By late afternoon I was out of the surgery and feeling bliss... however, morphine is not my drug of choice! DHhhhaaaa.

This afternoon I called my surgeon's office and left my words of gratitude and love with his nurse. She will tell him how happy I am. I am a different man than I was before the surgery. It has taken TIME to get to the place I am mentally, spiritually and physically.

As of today I am on you-tube. You can do a search on You-tube for Brenthoven, or Brent Johnston and some of my recorded music will be playing! I have been blessed with "STAR SEED" children and Wayne is one of those precious points of light. He did it.
We will be adding things I have composed and other recordings from past performances.

I will fly to New Orleans Sunday and spend some time with my precious sister TJ, then in to NYC. I am a strange man. I love NYC, and yet have to be isolated in small places like Alpine... Central Park is one of my favorite places on planet earth.

I am now pouring glass of my favorite wine and toasting the heavens tonight. So happy to be ALIVE and ENJOY the many things I am fortunate to enjoy.

Why Dancing under the gallows?

2010-11-03T15:59:00.000-07:00

A precious friend in NY called yesterday. We were talking about aging and the effects this process was having on our parents as well as ourselves. How as our parents age we of course age, but the difficult moments of realizing our parents are not the people they were years ago when we were younger and mind you, WE ARE NOT THE SAME PEOPLE WE WERE YEARS AGO AS CHILDREN.

She suddenly said: "Is your computer on?" I said, "Of course." She said, I am hanging up the phone and sending you something on You Tube....... Minutes later I was watching a woman who was at one time a fine musician, who also survived the holocaust. Her energy touched me in such a way that it sent me into a different and beautiful place deep within my invisible self.

She said many things that I have often said myself... BEETHOVEN! GIVING UP HATE! The list is endless... When ever I feel I am struggling I must watch this video. I have been so fortunate to meet and know so many people in my life just like this precious angel. I am so pleased she was born in the month of NOVEMBER. SCORPIO!

Alice Dancing Under the Gallows - Official Trailer

2010-11-02T19:45:00.000-07:00

2010-10-31T16:04:00.000-07:00

2010-10-30T21:14:00.000-07:00

Autumn in Alpine

Enfolded within the mountains...

2010-10-29T18:57:00.000-07:00

Since shutting the doors of the restaurant I have been one hell of a busy man.

My father fell and broke his hip in September. He is recovering but it seems to be a very up and down drama of events.

Aging is not as wonderful as some would have us believe. I've made two trips to Utah since closing. I find it amazing how people live in that state! Sooooo many people, Soooooo many energies all over the place. I spent the past week helping my parents in the town I lived as a baby and into my late teens. I moved away from Utah so many times when I was in my 20s only to return? I was bouncing up and down in the seat of my pick up as I drove into the snowy mountains of the Wasatch Range. God, I stopped in Evanston Wy for coffee and kissed the ground!

Drove to Sage Jct. then into Cokeville. South-end pass could take one's breath away! I love where I live. At times I was the only person on the road. I sang along with my I Pod tunes and when the mood overtook my mind I would drive off the road into the sage brush and inhale the perfume of sagebrush, snowy clean air and freedom. I poured a cup of strong black coffee, climbed into the back of the truck and gazed at the robin egg blue sky... fluffy white clouds and the occasional deer, rabbit, and the slow hypnotic spiraling flight of hawks as they circled high above my head. I gazed out over the horizon knowing that I still had miles to go, but over the mountains I would nestle in the arms of mountains I love and call home.

My piano sounds like a symphony. I played for hours yesterday. I will fly to New Orleans on November 7, then into NYC on the 10th. Return to Wyoming on the 14th, finish closing the house and business, then back to Utah and on to New Zealand.

The Southern Alps of New Zealand are pure magic. My strength comes from mountains. They haunt me. I can't imagine life without hills and valleys. Snow capped peaks that reflect the sunrise and sunset in all it's celestial glory. Possibly why I feel so close to mountains is: My life has been full of high and low points... peaks and valleys. Never ever a flat surface. Thank God and the Universe.

THE CHILD IS THE FATHER OF THE MAN

2010-10-16T14:03:00.000-07:00

Back when I was a little boy, in the Spring of 1952 there was this one afternoon I will never forget.
My mother had bathed my newly born baby sister in the kitchen sink, rubbed her body with Johnson & Johnson's baby oil and laid her in a small crib for her nap. New born babies sleep a lot. I had been outside walking through the pastures. The sky was the color of Tuscan Blue... high clouds and windy. The wash on the clothes line was flapping in the breeze and there was the scent of smoke in the air from farmers burning off weeds that grow along the banks and inside irrigation ditches.

As a little boy I treasured my "alone time" walking along fence posts, avoiding cow pies, thistle and sand burrs. My mother hated when I would come in with sand burrs stuck to my pants, socks and clay like mud from my laying inside sunken mud holes that water had created.

The wind literally lifted my six year old body to the back steps of our house. The back door opened into the kitchen.

This certain afternoon I have no idea where everyone had gone. I walked into the kitchen removing my coat and shoes. Our house always had comforting smells. Scrubbed floors, polished furniture, baking bread and at times the pungent scent of raw cow's milk. I walked into our living room.
We had mullioned windows with venetian blinds on the windows. My mother was always tipping the slats to create certain effects with the light. The carpet was a floral pattern as well as the wall paper.

I remember sitting in the middle of the room, the rays of light from the blinds casting beams of the most intense sparkling light. I laid on the carpet watching the dancing beams of energy... then into my head entered a voice. A voice that was not the sound of my child like voice... it was a different voice. Words that speak in the sound of THOUGHTS.

"You will never ever be like the rest. You are not like other boys or girls... you are NOT like anyone else..." I remember feeling not sad or concerned. I simply felt a sweet peace. I never for a moment felt or imagined I was not loved. I knew as a 6 year old boy that for the next 15 years of my life I would have to "join in"... "fall in line" with certain expectations and beliefs in order to survive.

I cannot explain what I was experiencing except that it was MAGIC. When you live in the middle of open spaces, fields of corn, tomatoes, potatoes, water melons and onions interspersed with cattle, pheasants, pigs, chickens, meadow larks and red robins, long cold winters and desert heat in the summers... it makes you see the world differently. You see magic!

Myself, I've been looking for magic my whole life. Still looking and will never stop! It's not an easy way to live. I have cried and laughed enough to fill volumes with reasons of why I love my quest for magic.

It's hard to leave parts of one's life. When I was 6 years old I never wanted to leave my life because it was as perfect as any child could ever dream of. Then school, church, and so many events would take all that away.

When my mother was pregnant with my first sister Sharon, I learned it took 9 months for a baby to develop to the point where it was able to be born. I did the math backwards from my birthday and figured I was a very special little boy because I started around February 14,1946, Valentine's day and was born 9 months later mid November.

My introduction to nature, food, music, and books were from the instant I was conceived. My parents and their families loved music and were able to sing, dance and play instruments. My mother was an avid reader and belonged to a book club where every month certain books would arrive in our mail box.

I envied people that could read. I begged my mother to teach me how to read.
She taught me how letters of the alphabet were the building blocks that created words! She would read me Fairy Tales and move her index finger under the words as she read out loud. She taught me how to hold a pencil. How to write my name.
Most of all she gave me a sacred respect and reverence for the written word. She told me that if a person could read they could do anything. I believe that is a truth beyond reproach to this very day.

Food was very sacred to my family. To enjoy good food one must summon all of his sensory trigger points into symphony. Touch, smell, sight, taste and the sounds of food cooking, it's presentation and eating together as a family or with friends was a blessing.

Being a little boy amid farms, animals and the four seasons I learned how life was created. Through rhythms, vibrations and Cycles. Most of all I learned the power of attraction. The power of negativity and positivity. To this very day I can step into a room of people and sense negative or passive vibrations. Electric currents that flow between human beings. We radiate our unspoken thoughts in the form of energy.

To the north of our house was a Fruit orchard. In front of the house was an irrigation ditch which all summer and part of the autumn carried running water to acres of farm land. Cattle lived in a huge paddock across the street and north of the calves and cows was a smelly silo pit full of rotting corn. Open spaces filled with alfalfa, stalks of corn, pungent fields of tomato plants, potatoes, sugar beets. From the time I was a little baby I was surrounded by the five sacred things of life: Air, Earth, Fire, Water and Spirit.

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LIGHT & SHADOW

Tables can be unique. They are one of the most important pieces of furniture within a home. We had a square wooden table near the east window in our kitchen. I often wonder where that table ended up.

Every meal was eaten around that table. My mother composed letters to her many sisters at that table. Once a month she wrote checks to pay bills as she sat at that table. After she had stuffed the envelopes I was allowed to lick the stamps.
When she would bake that table was the resting place for her cakes, cookies, breads as well as so many things besides food. I regard kitchen tables as alters where families and friends join together.

In the late 40's early 50's my father would sit after dinner at that table and Tool leather.
He held tools with his hands and gently tapped them against a pattern he had drawn on the surface of the leather. Leather releases a very sensuous scent.

I would sit and watch images blossom into acorns, pine cones, trees, all kinds of arabesques and even animals.

He never said much as I sat holding my chin in my hands watching hypnotically as he tapped away.

From observing his hands, I learned how SHADOW AND LIGHT play upon surfaces to create beauty. He referred to it as "highlights" and "shadows".

He made belts, vests and various pieces but the most beautiful thing was a loose leaf binder out of leather. I have no idea where that binder ever ended up, but he carried it with him for years.

He was very talented in the art of drawing. When I was 5 or 6 years old he showed me how to draw cartoon faces. People with huge noses, where upon you could draw warts, swollen lips and strange eyes. They were always PROFILES! He also showed me how to color with crayons.

SHADING was the key. He would draw on flannel pulled taunt over a board. My mother would use these in her Sunday School presentations. He'd draw a landscape upon which my mother would place cut outs depicting stories from the Bible. He used crayons to paint rocks, mountains, skies full of clouds and even oceans. I'd sit and watch him. He taught me how to draw clouds. The underneath part of a cloud must be darker than the top. Once more a lesson in shadow and light.

Pressure. One had to apply more energy against the surface of the paper in order to create a dark shade, less pressure to create a soft light color. I applied this lesson to the keys of the piano! More weight on a key created a loud, dark sound, a light touch gave forth a soft, delicate sound.

My mother dabbled in ceramics. She set up a card table in our living room and covered it with old news papers upon which she would place her figurines and paint them as she turned them in the light. The silken surfaces of the plaster would reflect light. One time she made these wall sconces that she placed Air Ferns in. She told me they literally lived on air! Maybe they did!

In the living room Mother kept an oval glass fish bowl on the radio/record player . The bowl had gold fish swimming inside it's clear waters. She fed those fish daily and fussed over the water, changing it every so many days as well as adding certain colored rocks and corrals to the bottom of the bowl.

I recall one day as she was feeding the fish they leaped from the bowl landing on the carpet. She screamed grabbing them and placing them back into the water. The fish lived as most things my mother ever touches seem to find a way to heal regardless of what ever is wrong and they go on living.

Once more a lesson. I would sit and gaze at that fish bowl as light filtered through the water and breathed light into the scales of the fish. The way the fish dove to the bottom of the glass orb and then swam to the surface of the crystal water leaving tiny bubbles that created motion in the water as well as shadow and light.

Years later I read that Debussy spent precious money of which he could not afford, on a Oriental print of Gold Fish. To this very day I always stop beside a stream or pond and look for fish. Stunned by the motion of crystal waters, light, darkness and the eternal song of silence that through music takes wings into the mystical dimension of melody and harmony.

My mother was forever moving furniture in the living room. (to save the carpet?) She'd get something placed and stand back... shake her head and then off we'd go again shoving and pushing. She was actually quite strong.

Once it was all re-arranged we'd sit on the sofa and she would smile a certain way if everything looked right and frown if she did not like it. Her eyes told her things I was only beginning to see. She was not aware of the fact she was teaching me lessons in BALANCE.

Weight and lightness within a room create a sense of well being. Mother taught me that if you place a large heavy piece of furniture at one end of the room you must balance it by putting something on the other end of the room that created evenness.

She taught me how in door plants reach for the light. She always placed plants near windows because they would be happy plants! I applied this technique in music and food presentation. I love plants. They are mirrors that reflect our inner most feelings. I always place live plants near windows and around my piano... VIBRATIONS.

When you plate food, you avoid making food appear FLAT. You associate color, hills and valleys and balance so that the plate is appealing to the eye as well as the palate.

The magic of LIGHT, SHADOW, TOUCH and MOTION then finding a BALANCE would have sacred meaning in my ability to create music and food.

lll

HEARING IS BELIEVING

My father milked cows every morning and every night. My little brother and I would stand in cow dung and watch our father's strong hands pull and squeeze hot white milk from cow's udders as the cows munched on green, pungent hay.

He would lift his rich baritone voice in song and the boards of the entire milking shed would vibrate with the sound of his voice. To think, his very voice is still alive in the atmosphere and inside many people's minds.

When I was a very little boy I remember hearing my father singing in fields far away. His voice raised in song was an omen, a symbol of safety and most of all he was happy.

When my mother and her sisters gathered together they would sing. They had a magical quality that only siblings have. Their vibratos matched. This is what made the Lennon Sisters so famous, the Osmonds, the King Sisters as well as many other singing families.

My mother's siblings could play bongos, shakers, spoons, banjos, guitars and ukuleles. I could not wait to go to my Grandpa and Grandma Keller's Parties because my uncles, and all of my aunts would kiss, hug and laugh. Good food, but most of all the music! The music was magic.

My Grandma Keller would sit at her piano and plunk out tunes, but when she would put a piano roll in and have us pump the pedals at the bottom of the piano with out feet! I was in heaven. Being children there were times we simply pumped too fast... running. She would stop anything she was doing and reprimand us. BALANCE! You pedal at a pace that makes the music beautiful!

From my mother's family I learned a very special phrase: " JUST PLAY IT BY EAR!"

I never doubted that I would not be able to play by ear! It was part of my inheritance. To this day when I audition a student that wishes to study with me the first thing I try to discover is if they can retain a MELODY within their mind and reproduce it on the keyboard minus a written score.

My parents purchased a Television when I was about 8 years old. I watched the Liberace show... the Bell Telephone Hour... I watched the Hit Parade... The Kate Smith Show, The Omnibus Play House, Jack Benny, Jackie Gleason with the June Taylor Dancers, The Loretta Young Show... All these black and white mono sound television shows taught me things I use to this very day when I make music.

The Hit Parade was long before American Bandstand. The Hit Parade released the top 10 songs on the CHARTS and they were performed with "sets". When Rose Mary Clooney came out with THIS OLD HOUSE... I remember watching the Hit Parade where a stage set of a very old house literally collapsed. As silly as the stage sets were by today's standards they made 'imprints' within my musical mind that to this day haunt me.

The Bell Telephone Hour showcased some of the greatest artists of the day. Ballet, Opera, Piano, Violin and Symphony. My piano teacher, Seymour Bernstein with whom I have studied longer than any teacher I ever had in my youth, appeared on the Kate Smith Show three times!

Loretta Young... I can still play (by ear) her theme song. Her show always presented a stage drama. She would come twirling through these French doors in a full gown... She featured so many great actresses and actors on her show. Ida Lappino, Burt Lancaster, Helen Hayes, Orson Wells the list is endless.

The catalyst that influenced me with the Televisions shows was: THE MUSIC. THE BACK GROUND MUSIC.
The way the music enhanced the unsay-able emotions and drama during any performance.

In later years I put this influence to great use. Background music enhances food! It balances the digestive system. It creates ambiance. Candle light would paint shadows and light... the very way a dinning room was arranged would balance the over all effect of music, food and create high lights. My mother and my father gave me the foundation upon which everything I have learned and will ever know about music, food and life evolved from.

I cannot forget the value of vibrations, color, sound, pain and yes, ever so many misunderstandings inside my life's adventure, but forever there has been a sacred jewel hidden amid all the tears and laughter: the value of love and above all else the blessing of forgiveness and unconditional love.

My mother and father to this day, in their 80's love me and the people I love without CONDITIONS. Mind you, there were years when I know they did judge me according to their beliefs in religion, politics and philosophy. Many of their beliefs I could not embrace... however, I learned one precious lesson and the words were spoken from my mother's mouth in the late 60's..."What a person believes and what a person loves are entirely two different things."

lll
MUSICAL

My piano lessons were a one on one learning experience. My father took me to a woman piano teacher when I was 11 years old Dorothy Code. She showed me how chords were created out of a 12 note scale. The scale being the alphabet and from those letters you created the Golden Mean. CHORDS. She taught me how the left hand notes and the the right hand created harmony and melody. She showed me how fingering worked. She taught me how to write my musical thoughts out on manuscript paper thus the creation of my own MUSIC!!!

She had a Parakette Bird in her house. The bird flew every where and scarred the hell out of me. I had the fear that it would bite my neck or fingers.

She taught me that clutter was not always a state of disorder. She kept a very messy house and claimed it was because of her low blood sugar!

She loved composing music. She had studied with one of the Mormon Tabernacle organist's DR. FRANK ASPER. I adored her until I discovered she actually hated so many local musicians. I then turned to James Pingree. He was very kind to me and introduced me to so many composers. He was a steppingstone into a new horizon and dimension I could NOT as a 13 year old boy imagine.

He introduced me me to Debbusy, Brahms., Bach, Chopin.... and most of all scales...arpeggios, octaves and how to play phrases.

I have never done well in class rooms. My musical education has been a "ONE ON ONE" learning experience. Therefore, I have sought out the most prestigious teachers in the world.

I learn from observation, demonstration which my eyes, ears, and emotions absorb like a sponge in water. My teachers have been celestial guides. (I learned years ago I have deslyxisa as well as a bit of Ausberger's disease) I have used those learning disabilities as gifts rather than curses.

My musical guides respected my individual talent as well as had the gift of drawing out as it were, my need to create my individual talent which over the years would touch the hearts and minds of many people.

One of those teacher was a woman named LOIS JOHNSTON MANNING. She knew where my heart, mind and hands were going.
She had walked down some paths I would eventually walk. She is one of my musical angels.

To this very day I carry a note from her. She gave it to me with a camera as I was leaving the train station in Ogden Utah. "I WILL BE THERE WHEN YOU NEED ME." She has been with me when I have needed a musical angel.

My father and mother have also been with me along my journey and my grandparents.

I can go on writing for ever about why and how I am the person I am today.

I am 63 years old. I have survived many things that no one except myself would understand. Possibly one day I will write a book about my entire life. My pets, the Great Salt Lake and Antelope Island. The Wasatch Mountain Range,Wyoming, New York City, New Zealand, Iceland and men landing on the moon.

My life in music has been the guiding light that has taken me every single place I was meant to go. Because of music I toured the world and shared my music with people from Asia to Europe. America and New Zealand. Because of music I have loved beyond most men's dreams. Because of music I have suffered beyond most men's capacity for pain.

When anyone asks me the question, "How did you learn to make music and to
cook?" I tell them that THE CHILD IS THE FATHER OF THE MAN... and they usually look at me with an even bigger question, like WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

I have loved poetry all of my life. Wm Wordsworth is one of my favorite poets.
In the movie "A River Runs Through" this poem is spoken as a duet.

INTIMATIONS OF IMMORTALITY from RECOLLECTIONS OF EARLY CHILDHOOD

The child is the father of the man;
and I could wish my days to be
Bound each to each by mutual piety...

Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting:
Hath had elsewhere it's setting

And cometh from afar:
And not in utter nakedness,
But trailing clouds of glory do we come
From God, who is our home.

As Sarah Williams said: "I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of
the night..."

It's been a while since...

2010-10-15T20:16:00.000-07:00

We closed the Nordic Inn on October 3, 2010. Had a great season. Fantastic weather, lots of wonderful people and most of all I was healthy, happy and DID IT! I look forward to writing my thoughts and the amazing feeling of actually being apart of something greater than myself... something that really is OUT THERE!

Right now, I am gorging myself on a brilliant INDIAN SUMMER. Frosty mornings with the moon and stars... first light kissing the mountain peaks and COLOR. OMG, COLOR... vibrations... music everywhere. I love the fall time.

Before I fly to New Orleans and NYC I will write about the events of this summer.

Work and mor work

2010-06-10T21:33:00.001-07:00

At last I write a quick blog. Been back in Alpine since May 5th. Weather has been constant rain with the occasional sunshine.

Opened the Nordic Inn/Brenthoven's Restaurant May 28th. Things are going quite well. I ache in different places, but I am
cancer free at the moment!!!!!!!! What More Could Any Man Ask FOR???????

I will not be updating this blog for at least a few weeks. I do appreciate those of you that follow my blog and keep in touch with
me and my life's dramas.

One thing about the rain, it helps keep forest fires at bay during the hot months of July and August.
My piano sounds like heaven and the tulips are still in BLOOM.

Will write soon....

give someone a gift...

2010-04-14T02:36:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday I attended a gorgeous concert performed by one of NZ great Soparno opera stars. Malvina Majors. She was wonderful. We saw her in concert years ago in the gardens of Invercargill . She sang everything from "By The Light of the Silvery Moon to great opera Arias.

After the concert certain melodies kept playing inside my musical brain! I remember someone telling me that IF, you want to give a gift that will never end, GIVE THEM A MELODY... a SONG... It is so true.

When Malvina sang various things from yodeling to opera it flooded my mind with many memories and faces! From my Grandparents, Aunts, Radios, TV, Church, School and traveling... I have been given melodies that link me to a memory of wonderful people that loved me!

Chopin's Ballade in G minor fills my brains with magic... Gershwin's Rhapsody in Blue... A certain person gave me the melody
"For Once In My Life"... There was a time when the Carpenter's hit: SOLITAIRE MAN drove me into deep depression!

What an amazing gift to give to some one that will haunt them the rest of their lives!

Vibrations. The beat does go on...

sorry

2010-04-08T01:50:00.000-07:00

Sorry 'bout the STORY TIME... It is on my desk top, I simply have to cut/paste it to my blog!

Autumn has landed in NZ. Short days... Fall Time LIGHT! By 5:00 PM it is almost dark! Cold evenings and warm days unless you are out of the shade of trees.

Today had a cancer taken off my back. Sometimes I think it has set up a life of some-kind within my lungs. My lungs have forever been a problem? As a child i suffered with asthma........... Ever since my knee surgery I have carried a "puffer"...

Story Time will appear. There is a reason for everything because after I re read the story... DHAAAA lots of mistakes and somethings I need not write about! So later. In a couple of weeks.

TIme is running out. 20 days and we will be out of NZ and back to work.

BJ

Story time

2010-04-05T03:09:00.000-07:00

/Users/brentjohnston/Desktop/the child is the father of the man.rtf

Fall time in NZ 2010 and stuff

2010-03-28T00:38:00.000-07:00

The first photo is of a rose in my garden. GORGEOUS! My tomatoes have gone crazy, but I've only eaten three of the sensuous orbs. There are at least 40 or more on my vines. Hopefully I can eat every one of them before I leave. The apples are perfect.
We have an apple, plum and apricot tree in the back yard. The Geraniums have gone nuclear! I am telling you they are giants.

The winds have been horrific this year thus, most leaves are blown away. Color is still on the horizon, but...

Watched a most tender a touching movie, "DEPARTURES." It has everything. Death, Love, Hate, the unknown and a beautiful musical score... SEE IT!

Thank God for beauty and nature. It saves me from all the American Bull Shit of Politics and Religion.

Later, bj

Fall time in NZ 2010

2010-03-28T00:06:00.001-07:00

Devil's Staircase

2010-03-15T01:23:00.000-07:00

Today was a gorgeous day. Lots of sunshine, autumn colors just breaking through the greenery.

I went to the gym, had a wonderful lunch at French Cafe, Les Alpes... then walked to the market to collect some items for dinner this evening.

I walked into Henry's Shop of Spirits... Found a bottle of Pinot Noir 2008 a Central Otago wine named: DEVIL'S STAIRCASE. It was not a cheap Pinot, but the name reached out and grabbed my by the throat! Gotta have this wine!
Here is the best part, I am copying the words from the back side of the bottle, your gonna love this.

"Make the Descent - there's a little Devil in all of us. Devil's Staircase Pinot Noir takes the willing down into the realms of decadence and Bacchanalian delights. Here everything is pleasure spiced up with a dash of naughty. The unrelenting environment tortures the vines whose twisted limbs produce a wine worthy of absolution: strong and sensual with lashings of dark fruit, sinfully succulent and devilishly good.
Enjoyed either in isolated contemplation or in combination with the seared flesh of a sacrificial animal."

OMG, words can turn one's mind and body into a play ground for the devil. Let me tell you this little devil is divine! Simply had to share the words on this bottle! Wish I could carry back to USA a case of this devilish fluid! I do love good wines.

I make no apology as it seems good wine was good enough for Christ. Drink this wine in remembrance of my blood which I shed for you!!! I will be saved before the night is over!

Amazing Grace...

2010-03-08T00:54:00.000-08:00

The concert was indescribable... why? because if someone were to tear every atom of my being apart it would add up to all the notes in the Prokofiev 3rd Concerto as well as the Rachmaninoff 2ND Concerto.

The young man that performed the Prokofiev was from Russia... he has the music in his very DNA and BLOOD. I have heard as well as had the blessings of being in the audience watching Martha Agarich perform this very concerto. If you do not know who Martha is go to YOUTUBE and discover or simply listen to her 1965 recording... In my opinion the woman is not from this planet. She is my age, but OMFG what she does with a piano is cosmic. She also speaks many languages...

The Concert in Dunedin was magic. At the end of the concert as we were walking out an usher who has seen us many times at concerts touched my arm and asked IF I had a program. I said "NO" she gave me one. The programs cost money... as we walked out into the starry night air I sensed someone standing inside one of the enclaves near a stage door smoking a cigarette.

I look into the shadows and low and behold it was the artist that had performed the concerto. He was casually dressed smoking a cigarette, much like myself at his age of 34!

I asked, "You were the Pianist?" he shyly said..."yes"... with that I embarrassed him to intensly and kissed his cheeks. He became out best friends for the moment. I told him that I had hear Martha Agarich perform this very piece... he swooned and said, "OMG Martha is the Queen and King of Piano". We told him from where we come and he said he had appeared with the USO in SLC, UT. I told him next time he better come to Alpine WY and eat some fabulous food, drink wine and meet some cowboys! He gleefully agreed!

What a night. I love these moments. Magic. Pure Magic. I posted a young man from England on my Face Book who plays rags. He is good. Life is good. Sorry about the tomatoes in America. Means not so much salsa, Kat sup, pizza... but in my
restaurant most of my tomatoes come from MEXICO! DHHHAAAAAA!!!!

Stay close to the music. Every night 'bout 6 PM I am spending 5 minutes quietly... thinking of the planet and balancing the political messes from the bottom to the top of the globe.

I still live by my New Age Hippie mantra: LOVE AND LIGHT!

Southern Sinfonia

2010-03-04T21:10:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite composers died today in 1953. Sergei Prokofiev. I have never, ever performed or actually learned any of his great compositions... WHY? I do know why. His music is too "close" so some hidden place within my musical mind and heart...

Tomorrow I will drive to the city of Dunedin. The Southern Sinfonia is a great Orchestra. I will hear the 3rd Piano Concerto by Prokofiev. Let us hope I do not begin pounding my thighs like I do when I hear a certain haunting theme in this master piece. I cannot spell the name of the performing pianist, but I know it will be magic.

Ever since I can remember, the sound of a symphony has spread invisible wings that can carry me to places indescribable. To me there not a more gorgeous sound than a symphony tuning... the squeaks and squawks and rumbles, then the one note... the one vibration that balances the entire ensemble!

I think I will write a book! My life inside harmonic vibrations...

Proposition 8

2010-02-15T20:10:00.000-08:00

Once again I am venting via my blog, however this is rather alarming. I have been asked about the Proposition 8 situation in California and if it has had any impact on gay marriage within OTHER states that approve of same sex marriage. I KNOW WHY! I was born in the state of Utah and being a Mormon for the first 21 years of my life...

I am in New Zealand where same sex couples are recognized as human beings that pay honest taxes, work hard, support most up right projects with in and outside the government. (no pun intended about the UP RIGHT Projects...) So, I have been doing some serious research on line. I am stunned at the amount of money the MORMON CHURCH AND IT'S MEMBERS DONATED TO THIS INSANE PROPOSITION! OMFG! Do a google search... you will find a endless list of the names of people and organizations within California and Utah that did not give SMALL AMOUNTS OF MONEY... they GAVE ENORMOUS AMOUNTS TO THE DEATH OF THIS PROPOSITION!

Well, I did a bit more research and found something Al Sharpton said about the whole nightmare! It is worth reading and remembering.

"It amazes me when I looked at California and saw CHURCHES that had nothing to say about POLICE BRUTALITY, nothing to say when a young black boy was shot while he was wearing police handcuffs, nothing to say when they overturned affirmative action. NOTHING TO SAY WHEN PEOPLE WERE BEING DELEGATED INTO POVERTY, yet they were organizing and mobilizing to STOP consenting adults from choosing their life partners." (Sharpton told a packed audience on Jan. 11)

"There is something immoral and SICK about using all that POWER to NOT END BRUTALITY and POVERTY, but to break into people's bedrooms and claim that GOD SENT YOU." Sharpton added... "We know you're not preaching from the Bible, because IF you were preaching the BIBLE we would have heard from you."

Sharpton said, "We would have heard from you when people were STARVING in California, when they DEREGULATED THE ECONOMY and CRASHED WALL STREET, you had NOTHING TO SAY! When {alleged Ponzi schemer Bernie} Madoff made off with the money you had NOTHING TO SAY... When Bush took us to war chasing weapons of mass destruction that weren't there YOU had NOTHING TO SAY... But all of a SUDDEN WHEN PROPOSITION 8 came out YOU had so MUCH to SAY, but since you stepped in the rain, we gonna step in the rain with you!"

All I can say is: We have to call these people out for what they are. They are NEVER EVER afraid to call people faggot or threaten one's life and property with VIOLENCE. Bigot, Hypocrite, Liar and Terrorist is what these people need to be called to their FACES and in PUBLIC.

Life can be gorgeous. I am loving my life right now, but I remember HIDING, RUNNING, ESCAPING for my life.

"

"

Something to think about...

2010-01-31T20:31:00.000-08:00

I found something on line that answered some of my questions regarding the Republican Party of 2010.
I do not care to go into deep political tirades on this blog, but silly things that are happening in the USA with
people and their political beliefs line up with so many things regarding religion and brain washing! Mind you,
Democrats are not much better!!!

1. Jesus love you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

2. Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's Daddy made war on him, a good guy when Dick
Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when BOY BUSH needed a "We Can't Find Bin Laden" diversion!

3. Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is COMMUNIST, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of
International Harmony.

4. A woman cannot be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multinational corporations can make decisions affecting
all of mankind without REGULATION!

5. The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing VETERAN'S BENEFITS.

6. If condoms are kept OUT of the SCHOOLS adolescents will not have sex.

7. A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our longtime allies, then demand their corporations and money.

8. Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing health care to all Americans is SOCIALISM!

9. HMO's and Insurance companies have the best interest of all people at heart.

10. Global Warming and the Tobacco's link to cancer are JUNK SCIENCE, but CREATIONISM should be taught in schools.

11. A President lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense.

12. A President lying to enlist support for a war in which 1,0000's die is solid defense policy.

13. Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and
censoring the Internet.

14. The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

15. Being a drug addict is a moral failing and crime, unless you're a CONSERVATIVE RADIO HOST. Then it's an illness and
your PRAYERS for your RECOVERY!

16. You support States' Rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell States what local voter initiatives they
have the right to adopt.

17. What Bill Clinton did in the 1960's IS of VITAL national interest (smoke pot), but what BUSH DID IN THE '80's is very very
irrelevant )SNORTING COKE AND BECOME and ALCOHOLIC)

The list can go on and on and on forever. Sometimes I wish Thomas Paine were still alive! Even Franklin would be rather
nice to read about in current events!

Will write something great about my adventures in NZ in a few days.

Sunshine has arrived

2010-01-16T20:39:00.001-08:00

The photos say a lot. I thank my lucky stars for my many many many guardian angels. Yellow roses are one of my favorite flowers and these are from our garden her in QT. Nothing quite like Bach and Roses! The sunset last night was amazing...

Summer has at last spread it's sweet smile full of sunshine and roses upon Queenstown NZ. Today was gorgeous.

Had lunch at Gibbston Winery. Grocery shopped at the New World Market in Frankton, and did some odd purchases at The Ware House.

Fell asleep in the garden while reading a book I am enamored to. Damn, I wish I had written it. "god is not GREAT" by Christopher Hitchens. It is a book so full of truth NOT what some BELIEVE to be TRUE, but the actual FACTS about how religion poisons everything. I have forever loved Thomas Paine. What a brave and courageous statesman he was, even though the conservative right would have his name burned to hell... His "Age of Reason" along with Ayn Rand's "Atlas Shrugged" changed my life forever.

Surprise, (in my mail box today (on a Sunday?) the DHL delivered it early this morning: a book I have wanted for some time.
"A JESUIT TALE" a novel by John Shekleton. I found this used book on Amazon.com and it will be good money spent.

Yesterday I walked and walked. There is a very sacred walking path along the lake shore. The views are straight out of heaven. I observed the most amazing bird. A pelican standing so regal as if he owned the universe. I walked right up within a foot of his stance. He never ever flinched. HE STARED AT ME DIRECTLY IN MY EYES!

From there I thought I would play piano at St. Peter's but as I approached the cathedral doors music... I had forgotten that the Ensemble Festival is going on. OMG. WHAT MUSIC. A cellist, violinist and pianist making the most delicious chamber music!
Besides the musicians were all within their early thirties and they were so easy on the eyes.

I sat for over an hour listening to their rehearsal. It was very sensual as well as mysterious... I was observing something few people would or could appreciate.
I also was filled with a strange sadness... I have not ever actually performed the classical ensemble compositions of such great masters. Yes, I have always played with other musicians in a JAZZ setting, but this was something that "touched" a place in my heart that has never ever been touched!

I walked out of the church feeling JOY. The live music and the beauty of those young people's musical talents touched me beyond anything I can ever explain.

Joy for all the music I have ever made in my life so far and for the music that was created long before my life as well as for all the music that will be created after my life on earth as I know it.

Sun light and moonlight are heavenly blessings filled with music.

Still Playing my ORGAN!

2010-01-11T00:23:00.000-08:00

Loved the recital in the restored Tabernacle. My dream as a little boy was to one day play this organ... Well, I was fortunate
to be able to study with Dr. Alexander Schriener when he was the Tabernacle Organist. It is a glorious instrument.
Had to share the photo. All organs inside our bodies as well as out side our bodies are sacred! They make beautiful music.

snow time in the alps

2010-01-08T01:04:00.001-08:00

I awoke to snow this morning. Mind you, this is supposed to be summer weather... I know, I know, and I know, global warming but, I would still love summer to return. One thing: when the sun does come out it is hotter than the hinges of hell.

Life continues to be good. Reading, learning new music, creating new music and most of all I am healthy. I have a wonderful
vegetable garden this year. Everything is booming except for my tomatoes. Not enough sunshine... The lettuce is divine and all the herbs I cook with constantly. Made a gorgeous Italian dinner last night with fresh Basil, Rosemary, Oregano, Parsley, and
Chives from the garden.

My piano is once again my best friend and I am reading book after book. I know I should
purchase the Kendell or the Nook electronic books, but I honestly need to touch, smell, and hold paper within my hands. Most of all I underline and write in the margins of books. Kind of like music. I have precious manuscripts hand marked by teachers that are long dead, some that are world famous and two or three others that are very much alive and know my hands as well as my musical mind. It all makes for a delicious adventure in sound and color.

Tomorrow is the A&P Show at Lake Hayes. Must go regardless of weather. The Michael Hill String Festival begins this weekend.
Such stunning talent. String players will invade the town like a blessing from the heavens. Making angelic music everywhere.
Tomorrow is also the Craft Fair and Farmer's Market down town. Love those potatoes and herbs I buy at Farmer's Market.
Also, I meet up with some amazing artists at the fair. These are things I can never do in Alpine because I am working!!!

Summer time will blossom one day soon and I will no doubt not have any sun guard!

Holidays in Queenstown New Zealand

2010-01-01T23:49:00.001-08:00

The year 2009 into the year 2010 will be a glorious year for me. A photo of my studio. Fresh pansies, an incredible crystal and a very old photograph of Percy Grainger I was given in Melborunre Australia. The painting of the pianist is by my sister, TJ. Very much in the style of Chargill... Happy New Year. More will follow...

Forgive the duplicat photos! and...

2009-12-26T01:34:00.000-08:00

Christmas was full of joy and love this year. First of all we are all healthy except for a few people I love and adore, and those
people are in my thoughts and daily meditations as well as my prayers. You know who you are and please know that you are loved and needed...

Sorry about posting the "bad picture" twice! Dhaaaa, must mean something.

Today was "boxing day" in New Zealand. England, Canada and other parts of the world call the day after Christmas Boxing day... thus you get rid of the boxes that protected gifts.

I was given a fantastic gift. It is a a piece that goes under your fitted sheets on a bed. Made from down and some synthetic
stuff... You do not fight a lumpy mattress. It caresses your body as you sleep! Also a Pendelton 100% wool blanket. It has images of the Tetons and it came with a pillow cover! The prints are beautiful and it is so warm to sleep under. Okay, so I will spend most of my holiday in a bed sound asleep under the Tetons!

Must practice my piano for a while before bed. I am working on the beautiful Reflets dans l'eau from Images book 1 by Debussy.
Also, some Bach (Always) and trying to do a bit of oil painting... writing and walking walking walking. Love my walks.

Hope all had a glorious holiday. The New Year will be the beginning of a new year which I pray brings peace and love to the entire universe we all share and live within.

Been a rough year!

2009-12-24T01:48:00.001-08:00

Any one that reads my blog I wish you a very happy holiday season and most of all laughter, love and light in the new year.
Will write soon.

Pictures or New Orleans 9th Dist. Absent minded Brent and Central Park.

2009-12-11T20:52:00.000-08:00

New Orleans, Central Park

2009-12-11T20:41:00.000-08:00

I thank my lucky stars...

2009-12-07T21:31:00.000-08:00

Everything was flowing like honey... smoothly. We printed out our boarding passes on Southwest Air, checked luggage and had ample time to rest, play on computer, drink coffee. Checked the gate number C-18, but we did not have the 'over 60' eye glasses on and read the gate number as C-13. Yes, we sat there writing e mails and catching up on news. Flight was called... Flight such and such leaving from gate C-13 for SEATTLE WA!!!!!!!!!!!! Nearly died. Read the boarding pass: Gate C 18 for LAX!

Ah, we missed the flight! Southwest had us on a plane to Las Vegas then into LAX within 5 minutes. Everyone on the Las Vegas flight were starring at us like we were the dumb asses that we are. Landed in Las Vegas, then flew into LAX. Once in LAX everything was great.

Air New Zealand is next door to Southwest Air Lines, so no need to walk miles to INTERNATIONAL TERMINAL. Walked down to baggage claim and realized I had left my backpack on the seat in the security section. OMFG! I could not get back into the secured Southwest area. First of all I had NO ID. My backpacks are like limbs on my torso. The backpack had my Mac Computer, my Cell Phones, ALL OF MY BLESSED MONEY, ALL OF MY IDENTIFICATION: PASSPORTS, DRIVER LICENSE, CREDIT CARDS, BANK NUMBERS AND ALL OF MY CONTACT INFORMATION AS WELL AS MY CHECK BOOK. My heart turned to stone and dropped like a missile to the bottom of my feet. I ran hysterically into the check in area for Air New Zealand.

A gorgeous black woman was helping people through the lines... nudging them gently along. She immediately picked up on my angst.
"Can I help you sir, you seemed distressed" "Lady you have NOT a CLUE about HOW DISTRESSED I AM!" I proceeded to explain my predicament. She told me to stay where I was and she would go up to the gate and see IF she could retrieve my backpack.

The minutes went by like hours. I thought she would NEVER, EVER, RETURN TO WHERE I WAS STANDING wringing my hand and looking out the sliding glass doors that open onto a busy street. I thought to myself: "This is it! Simply walk out that door and wait for a roaring bus, step in front of it and end this entire drama."

My 'Black Princess' arrived by my side. She asked IF, possibly there was something in the side pocket of my backpack. I blurted out a hyper YES! a banana. With the word banana she handed my by backpack with everything still inside it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (I know why some people pee their pants when they are happy beyond words.)

This is the second time in my life a black woman has saved me from killing myself!

Once in NYC when I was about 21 I took a train up into the Cloisters for a rehearsal. I got on the subway and after what seemed hours I was the ONLY WHITE MAN ON THE TRAIN. I was in in Harlem. Back then the subways were VERY SEEDY and many bad things happened to people that were in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Looking out the window of the train I read "HARLEM". I got off the train and to an extremely naive Mormon boy all I could see was an ocean of eyes and teeth! My body began to shake. A black woman was on my right side dressed in a red wool coat and hat. She clutched my hand, leaned into my ear and said: "Boy, you be LOST???!!!) I nodded a feeble yes as visions of my standing naked in a boiling cauldron drifted through my brain. She gripped my hand harder and said for me to follow her.
Then, I really thought it was over. I wanted to cry, I could not stop shaking and it was time in my short life that I honestly experienced the meaning of being "helpless." (I have a marvelous painting in my bedroom by a wonderful artist titled
that very word: HELPLESS!)

She walked me under the tracks to the other side of the rails and said: "You gotta go back into Manhattan boy! You get on the first train going this way." I said "thank you Mame, but please, oh please don't leave me until that train arrives..." She held onto my hand and within minutes the train arrived.

To this day I bless that woman. She knew how frightened I was and I am sure she had been frightened the same way somewhere sometime in her lifetime.

I so wish I had asked her name and address. I would have sent her roses for as long as I had enough money... The same situation applies with the beautiful black woman in LAX. I did not get her name or a contact number! She saved me from a terrible mess.

I did not sleep on the flight from LAX to Auckland NZ. I even took sleeping pills, two glasses of wine, tried to listen to music and meditated. Simply too tired from all the DRAMA.

I know there are "drama Kings and Queens" but I can usually hold my own amid any situation, however... this time my mind kept playing scenes from years and years ago regarding how many times a person has helped me sail through a predicament beyond my control! Our lives are watched over by many many forces.
I do thank my lucky stars for my guardian angels!

Antelope Island... Tabernacle... New Zealand

2009-12-03T20:35:00.000-08:00

Arrived in Auckland November 30th. Loving each and every breath I take in this wonderful place. Still getting the house set up with groceries, digging belongings out of storage that need to be placed in drawers, on walls, in cupboards... gardens look great.
Our Land Lady set up a veggie garden for me! Russian Red Tomatoes, Blood Beets, herbs, all kinds of lettuces. Roses are in bloom and the pansies are grinning from ear to ear. My studio is up and running so lots of music, practicing, reading and messing around on my computer. I do love my MacBook Pro. The ONLY way to GO!

I grew up near the shores of the Great Salt Lake which is the largest natural lake west of the Mississippi River. The lake is a remnant of pre-historic Lake Bonneville, which covered more than 20,000 square miles during the Ice Age. Four distint shorelines from the lake may be seen from Antelope Island and include Bonneville, Provo, Stnsbury and Gilbert. Great Salt Lake is currently 75 miles long by 28 miles wide covering 1,700 square miles. At this level, maximum depth is about 33 feet. Size and depth vary greatly with seasonal evaporation and precipitation. Salinity level ranges between four and 28 percent compared to the ocean at three percent.

When I was a little kid in grade school we were taught to observe the LINES the lake had made upon the Wasatch Range. There were actual horizontal lines along the face of the mountains east of the lake. Recorded depths of the lake on the mountains as it evaporated, altered it's levels beginning in the ice age.

One of my favorite natural events of every day life are SUNSETS. They haunt me like mountains. As a child and later young man I never missed a sunset over the Great Salt Lake and Antelope Island. Antelope Island is in the middle of the lake. I've seen lightening strike the island and set it into flames! The Island comprises 28,022 acres, and is 15 miles long and 4.5 miles across at it's widest point. Frary Peak is the highest point on the island at, (get this) 6,596 feet above sea level. Get high up there without the help of drugs!

The oldest rocks on Antelope Isaland are some of the oldest found anywhere on earth! The Farmington Canyon comples, at 2.7 billion years old, is older than rocks found at the bottom of the Grand Canyon. These rocks, which are banded and controrted, comprise the sounthern two-thirds of the island. Antelope Isaland has 40 major freshwater springs found primarily on the east side of the island. These springs produce 36 million gallons ofr water each year that support the wildlife and vegetation on the island. Birds, Bison, Coyotes, Pronghorn fawns and bighorn sheep and yes, Antelope call this island HOME!

When the state of Utah built the first road from Syracuse Ut to the Island it was a gravel road. Often washed out. When the water erupts into white caps, the water is so heavy it can CRUSH, SMASH AND DESTROY anything in it's path! There were times I slept on the island and spent days alone hiking from end to end. Oolitic sand is unique to the island. These are round grains of sand that are formed when mineral grains of brine shrimp fecal pellets are coated by concentric layers of aragonite, a form of calcium carbonate. This is similar to how perals are formed. In the yearly 70's I hiked to the west side of the island. I was stunned at the sugar white beaches... glistening white diamonds of light. It was Oolitic sand!

My afternoon on the island was very emotional. Seeing how it has evolved into a State Park and yet the austire, aloof beauty and peace this island emmits is awesome! There are 8 magor islands in the lake, but Antelope is the diamond of islands.

Moving along, I and a friend drove to SLC to hear and see the Tabernacle Organ on Temple Square. I studied with Dr. Alexander Schriner when I was 11-12 years old. He taught in the Asembly Hall early on Saturday mornings I took a Lake Shore Bus from Sunset Utah into SLC. Walked over to Temple Square and had a hour lesson with the Greatest Tabernacle Organist ever to touch a keyboard!

The Tabernacle is an acoustic wonder of the world. It was also built with leather tongs holding many things in place and of course it was not built to withstand earth quakes. Thus, the Mormon Church has restored it and made it beautiful. I remember sitting inside this musical wonder of a building listening to the USO, daily recitals, and other events such as when President JFK came to UTAH!!!!!!! I used to place my feet on the floor, sqweeze my butt to the bench and revel in the vibrations the organ made, most of all when the organist would place his feet on the Bombard Pedals. OMG, my entire soul soared to heaven and I promised myself that I would one day be a Tabernacle Organist! They are doing the daily organ recitals again!

After a day of so many exciting and hauting events I crawled into bed and thanked God for my past life! Then to think I am so blest as to be able to come NZ. This is my 21st year!

Will write more later...

November 6,2009

2009-11-06T12:43:00.000-08:00

November 5th marked exactly one year since I was operated on for cancer and other problems. A year ago I did not really care if I lived or died. I was that ill. I weighted 139 pounds. I looked like hell and felt worse than hell.

Yesterday I walked back into my "Green Cathedral" where I could tune into nature and thank the universe for all of my blessings.

Something caught my eye, in over 20 years of walking through these woods I have never noticed this amazing old apple tree. All it's leaves had fallen to the ground along with some very ripe apples. It was honestly a sight to behold. This tree which looks liked a broken umbrella all decorated in ornaments of different hues in reds, yellows, pinks and greens.

I reached up into the boughs and picked an apple. Polished it's skin to a brilliant sheen, then carefully took a bite out of this forbidden fruit!
It was delicious. I sat on the ground and leaned my back up against the trunk of the apple tree... then it happened, the most beautiful sound in the world... a symphony of birds. All the cedar and pine trees were full of choirs singing individual melodies yet all in symphony with each other's personal composition! The sky was pale blue and low rain clouds scudded by as the wind picked up tempo. I simply could not move. I sat there beside the tree eating it's gifts, rain drops kissing my head, neck and shoulders as I watched the wind and birds all fly away toward the west.

I had a marshal arts teacher that claimed eating a fresh peach could clear one's mind and body of all kinds of negative vibrations.
Well, I have found that a true organic apple, rain drops and bird song can fill one with unexplainable peace and joy.

September Song

2009-10-18T16:29:00.000-07:00

"Oh, it's a long long time from May till September..."

The words and melody to this classic song will never die. Like the song, The Autumn Leaves... I love that melody.
When I sit alone at the keyboard and allow my musical muses to play my fingers I invariably play "The Autumn Leaves fall by my window, the autumn leaves of red and gold..."
I have written about the Autumn Season many times within this blog and some that follow the blog know of my mysterious love for this time of the year.

Yes, I survived my summer of waking between 6 or 6:30 AM and going to sleep around midnight 24/7. Each morning the alarm jolts me out of slumber. I stagger to my sacred place, hit the green button on my Mr. Coffee Maker and turn my chair toward the eastern sky. After the first sips of java, I take in the morning star, the last traces of moonlight and watch first light blanket the earth... Then don my chef's cooking jacket, plop my battered ball cap on my sleep encrusted hair. Splash cold water on the face, brush teeth and open my journal. Write what memories remain from my dreams, plans for the day or random thoughts that float around inside mind...

The morning walk to the business is always refreshing. The symphony of the birds filling the fresh morning air is the most thrilling music one can ever hear.

Closed the business Oct. 4, 2009. Since then lots of cleaning, organizing and falling in love with my piano all over again!
I have played piano for at least an hour every day or evening since we closed.

I will fly to New Orleans on November 10. Spend three nights with my sister Teresa. Then fly into NYC. Visit my piano teachers. Seymour Bernstein and Carol Montparker. Walk the streets of a city that doesn't sleep taking in everything from Central Park, concerts and some unexpedted adventures. Will also start writing my blogs again! I know, I should be on Face Book and whats that other new thing? Well, blogger.com will still be my home for a few more years!

I walked up the Snake River Canyon yesterday afternoon. My legs keep reminding me! When I got out of bed this morning they were screaming at me! They are used to standing up to 14 hours and walking within my kitchen space, but not balancing on rocks and uneven terrain! The leaves were gorgeous and of course sunlight on the water!

It's good to be back with my computer. I tunes, E mails and learning so much about everything possible. More to follow in a few days.

Summer Time

2009-06-24T21:13:00.000-07:00

Finally SUNSHINE... The moon is 8% full. A precious crest hanging in the western sky. We have had nothing but rain and more rain even more rain...

Today was one of the first times we have filled the patio for lunch. Beautiful weather. The Iris are in full bloom. The perfume from Iris is divine. Peonies are bending to the ground with their huge buds. We just finished the last of the lilacs but the wild flowers have been breath taking. Lark Spur and lots of Red Rockets. The sage brush are in blossom as well as the wild geraniums. Thus summer has finally spread it's wide smile across the rocky mountains. The Lupin we planted years ago are beginning regally show their majestic towers. Honey bees love their petals. These lupin are at least 19 years old!

I am well. Monday I endured another surgical procedure! But, the bladder is clean, the prostate is now fixed and no cancer any where to be found. Just possibly I will be back on the road again. LOVING and ENJOYING every moment of life. I am working morning, afternoon and evenings. I LOVE IT. I even play my piano every day. Reading lots of books before I fall into dreams.

Will write soon and hopefully the summer will prove to be one of the best ever even with the economic problems.
Must go out and gaze at the moon.

Last night the rain spoke to me...

2009-04-26T22:48:00.000-07:00

I have used the title of this blog before... Last night the rain did speak to me!

Rain is a very sacred sound created by playing upon the instrument called earth. Every raindrop is like a note of music.
Last night the rain was sporadic. Heavy with sound, then suddenly it would stop leaving bars of long rests and resonating echos of it's drumming symphony. Then ever so gently it would begin tapping and sighing against the glass, the roof, dancing on the cement and rocks or quietly cascading into the grass and gardens.

I was busy helping close the house, packing bags, cleaning... all the last 25 items that MUST be done before leaving the country.
Most important: pass ports, credit cards, flight numbers, cell phones. (I have two phones. A Vodafone when I am out of the USA and a Verizon when I am in the States.) Chargers for I Pod, remember all the cables to computers, phones and KEYS.
Keys are very
important as they open the doors in New Zealand and they open the doors in WY.

Now that I am in my early 60's I have this array of drugs and supplements to pack into my kit of toilet items, the hassle of putting the one oz. bottles of gels and liquids in the plastic bag for inspection.

Closing a house is a big
job. Everything from shutting off power and water to making sure there are no food items, trash, or windows and doors left ajar!

Early in the evening I enjoyed a delicious dinner at the Boardwalk. One of my favorite restaurants. The food is perfect, but the chairs! Ah, I could sit in the chairs all night! Finally around midnight I fell into a fitful sleep. Up at 6 AM flying around the house in order to finish the final tasks. Taxi was on time for the ride to the air port. We arrived at Qantas, checked in the luggage and it was NOT over the limit.

I was feeling strung out... very tired. Then the intercom announced that the flight to Auckland had been cancelled due to heavy cloud cover and rain! I grabbed my Vodafone. Called the 0800 number, re-scheduling for tomorrow. Finally retrieved the luggage, made the new flight arrangements and back to the house! THANK
GOD FOR THIS HOUSE AND YES, I HAD THE KEYS TO THE DOOR! Broad band was still in service, the telephones were still on.
I threatened my two companions with their lives: "DO NOT SO MUCH AS FART because I have made myself sick getting this place in tip top shape!"
It was surreal to be driving up to a house which only a few hours ago you had "CLOSED".

We usually depart from NZ on April 28th, this year we were leaving on the 27th because of flight situations. Well, the pattern has not been broken! Sunshine is forecast for tomorrow the 28th of April. (Mind you, when I am in NZ I am in the future. Even though I fly out of NZ on the 28th of April I am going back in time and will arrive in LAX on the 28th of April. When ever I call the USA I have to realize the fact: I am a day and 4 to 6 hours ahead of where I calling!

The rain was singing all kinds of ancient earthen chants last night. Some where listened to very deep within my heart as I sensed we would not board the flight from Queenstown to Auckland.
My dreams were everywhere. From 2 AM until 4 AM I was awake... I laid listening to the rain and finally I lifted myself out of bed, walked outside and inhaled the scent of rain. I once read about a child that claimed rain was the odor of heaven. She may have been spot on.

In the early 70's I used to drive my VW Bug from Ogden Ut. to Denver Colorado to stay with a friend for up to a week. Driving across the WY desert can be a celestial experience or long hours of fighting off sleep. Often I would see rain clouds charging across the sky and drive directly into a cloud burst of glorious percussion from the mallets of rain drops. I'd stop the car, jump out and run through the sage brush and wild flowers.
Most clouds were so intimidating and yet so full of blessings I sensed no fear, only dampness and clean air and water!

There were times I simply drove into the desert and stripped naked... (I could do it without a thought when I was in my 20's)
and lay on the ground as the rain baptized my flesh, blood and spirit. I do believe in four sacred things: Water, Air, Fire and Earth. They all are my 4 in 1, they express peace and harmony to my life.

I will not be blogging for a few weeks. Enjoy the winter rains in the Pacific Islands, or the Spring rains in the USA and Canada.
(Scandinavia, Europe, Russia, China the list goes on and on...)

Spring is a reminder of our own birth... Remember: it is not 3 in 1, it is 4 in 1.

Autumn Leaves of Paper Notes...

2009-04-03T23:48:00.000-07:00

Most days I walk into the Center of the Village... I then have a cup of strong black coffee at any of many coffee houses.

I do have my favorites. "The Halo", "The Forge", "Books". With coffee I will have a salad or toasted sandwich. From the coffee house I walk to the Alpine Market. (Not the Alpine Market in WY!) The one in QT, NZ that was once called 4 Square. I purchase items for dinner.Greens, vegetables, breads, cheese, sometimes wine, but I prefer to purchase wine from Henry's.

Then I do "MY RAMBLE". I walk about town. I sit and watch people... I listen to sounds, I search the sky for signs within the heavens. Sometimes I write music, or I write in my Journal. I even sketch in the pages of my journal. Most days I go to the local gym and work on the rowing machine, light weights and stretching.

After all these tasks I will step inside St. Peter's Anglican Church. I have mystical respect for churches, cathedrals, synagogues. I cannot ever simply rush into such buildings. I sneak humbly into the bowels of such great architecture. After entering the doors I tip toe up to the baby grand piano. Lift my musical scores out of my back pack and the music maybe everything from Bach, Beethoven, Brahms, Debussy, even Rachmaninoff. I place my "piano/computer" glasses upon my nose. Lift the desk of the piano and lightly brush my hands over the keys... I look at the light the stained glass windows refract across the alter... I smell lilies, roses, what ever flower arrangement the ladies of the Church have created... then I make music.

Most days I am in the chapel from one o clock until three o clock... I play the baby grand piano, I make mistakes, I correct the errors, I LISTEN to myself with ears I have only recently discovered. I find melodies hidden inside harmonies, I make notes to myself but most of all I actually enjoy what I am doing.

During my practice time many people, from construction workers to physicians and most of all tourists walk in and out of the church from all over the world. There are times they will burst into an enthusiastic applause or walk quietly up to the piano and stand watching me play. I have always had a habit of being "OUT THERE" when I am playing or practicing so after I have played a composition like Clair de lune, I softly let my hands rise from the keyboard and slowly let go of the damper pedal until the very last trace of sound can be heard. Then the person standing beside the piano awakens me into consciousness.
Most times I do not know what they are saying as I am NOT gifted in languages, but I do read body language and the cosmic vibrations of emotion.

It is autumn in New Zealand. Leaves are falling, colder nights, frost in the mornings. I love the fall time. Sometimes when I am practicing, or simply think I am performing I have a feeling, a sensation that someone is listening! I never look out into the pews... I want to savour the feeling of being heard and adored!

When I am finally spent and feel I must leave I rise up, dust the piano keys with the palms of my hands, lay back the desk and cover the keyboard. I then lay the quilted blanket of forest green over the entire piano to protect it from heat. Cold air will not harm a piano, direct heat is as lethal as the jaws from hell on pianos. I then place my music into my backpack, take off my "computer/piano" eye glasses and rise up from the piano bench where my body has become so entrenched with comfort!

Then I see them!............. The little scraps of paper on the carpet floor around the piano! Like fallen leaves they have drifted from people's hearts and hands... The notes say things I cannot define. Some are printed in typical European hand writing. "Thank you for the music! This has been one of the many highlights of my trip!" Others are written in Chinese! Some in Japanese.

I have many that are written in French. A few days ago a very famous German Artist came by the church. He and his wife wrote the note in English: "GOOD FOOD. We will reclaim the time with your piano in years from now." Okay, music is the food of love! but, reclaiming?
One person left a torn piece of paper from a grocery bag: "I come here day after day and bless the days you play. I cry the days your not playing piano..." Someone wrote a clever note: "If you had dedicated yourself more to the piano you would not be playing in a tiny church in New Zealand!"
Well, I had to admit I should and could have worked harder at playing the piano, but I cherish the times am able to play piano in New Zealand or anywhere in the universe.

The people cannot see my face as I am playing. They only HEAR, FEEL and IMAGINE who and what I am.

The ultimate was written on the back side of a business card from someplace in Arabia. They used very good English hand writing skills: "If you make love as well as you play piano I envy the person that has your hands and body against them all through the day or night!" This person did not see my face or body!

Being 62 can be very lonely because everyone is in transition... I however enjoy the fact I have a "PAST", I have a "FUTURE" and I have endured many THINGS and hope to endure ALL THINGS.

The Autumn Leaves fall by my window, the autumn leaves of red and gold. The sunburned hands the kiss of summer, the autumn leaves fall one by one... (words to the song) but my autumn leaves have been kind notes written on scraps of paper from very young souls to very old souls. Some have hearts that have broken in half, hearts that have been healed, lives that are just beginning to reach out to the sky, earth and inside parts of both dimensions. Some of these leaves have been written by very wise and ancient hearts that are looking forward to the moment of crossing over into the void of eternal bliss.

Every human being is a musical note. Be it a 64th or 8th or whole note... it has a beat, a reason for seeking harmony and wants it's voice to be heard. When I went to NYC to study piano I had FOUND MY VOICE I simply wanted to know how to use it! We are all players in a celestial symphony.

April 1, 2009 I attended the opening concert for the winter season of the NZSO. I did not care for the first piece. The Barber Violin Concerto was marvelous. Performed by Cho-liang Lin. The Wagner Tristan and Isolde: An Orchestral Passion. Well, I am not a lover of Wagner. But, never the less live music is blessed. When I listen to a symphony tuning... I get chills. It is as if I am hearing the entire universe coming together as one vibration... A 440? As Edna St. Vincent Millay wrote after hearing a symphony by Beethoven: " Sweet sounds, oh, beautiful music, do not cease! Reject me not into the world again."

I thank my lucky stars for my musical leaves, of every emotion and color.

One Year Ago...

2009-03-06T21:25:00.001-08:00

A year ago I was in The Mercy Hospital undergoing surgery for a left knee replacement. Months later I would be in Jackson Hole WY at St. John's Hospital for the removal of a cancer in my left kidney ...

Days ago I was in the Gold Coast with one of my soul mates enjoying 4 days and nights of walking on beaches, sunsets, sunrises and fabulous food and wine... Two years ago my friend and I did part of Rail Trail... but I never thought I would ever do another walk on the wild side... Rutha was gentle with me.
Easy walks and long talks.

I am at home in Queenstown and loving autumn. Some hot days, some cold days, lots of rain then dry weather. If, anyone is interested( that possibly follows my blog) you must see VERBIER FESTIVAL HIGHLIGHTS OF 2007. Wonderful! Also, I just returned home from viewing the movie "Slum dog Millionaire"... Just possibly the academy has been spot on with a movie.

Will write a long blog soon...

Birthdays... Deathdays...

2009-02-20T19:40:00.000-08:00

February has always been a special month.

It signifies LOVE and we celebrate LOVE on February 14th because of a certain Saint having the name of Valentine! I think we should celebrate in some 'secret way' Christmas and Valentines everyday of our very very very short lifetimes, but, of course we don't!

I have no regard for politicians, therefore, I do not recognize George Washington's or Abe Lincoln's Birth dates, they just happen to have Birthdays that occurred during the month of February! I do think of one of my Grandmother's who's Birthday is in February.

DEATHS:

Every year I light a candle and play a piece on the piano for Percy Grainger. He died on February 20th 1961. When he died I was 15 years old. I loved his solo arrangements for piano of the great concerto themes and his folk tunes!

He was a handsome man, very much into WALKING, HIKING and HE ARDENTLY defended Crowell during that horrible episode of bigotry during the 50's against gays. Gay people were looked upon as the lowest of mankind! I am a most privileged pianist in the fact, that I was given an entire afternoon alone in his museum.
NO ONE ELSE was in the museum in Melbourne OZ. Yep, Percy was born in the land of OZ! He was a role model for me. I have a wee photo of him at the piano framed in pewter that I carry with me when I travel.

BIRTHDAYS:

Another great person was born on February 22, 1892. Edna St. Vincent Millay. This woman was and still is a role model for me. She was an amazing woman and her talent still rings with truth and magic! She died when she was 57. Her mother gave birth to her in the state of Maine 117 years ago!

Another shinning light and guide in my life as well as so many musicians seeking to FIND THEIR PLACE in the world of making music at the piano is a woman in NY. Carol Montparker.
She celebrated her 70th birthday Thursday February 19, 2009, and what a celebration! She performed a recital in the Weill Recital Hall at Carnegie Hall, NYC. May she have many many more years of sharing and giving the gift of music.

Since I was 5 years old I was fortunate to find "my voice" the piano. I simply have always wanted to know HOW TO USE IT!
Percy, Edna, Carol, Virginia, Seymour, James, Frederic, Alex, Dorothy, Mary and my grandmothers and ever so many other TEACHERS from many other places have helped show me HOW to USE MY VOICE: The silver sound of a piano!

Fires

2009-02-08T23:40:00.000-08:00

Australia is an amazing Continent, Island, what ever... (they never really tell you what they think they are land wise!) It is the same size as the USA lacking about 16 miles. The recent movie titled AUSTRALIA is a long long movie, but worth a view... It expresses the stoic strong soul of Aussies...

In 1988 Yellowstone was in flames... it truly was a terrible year. (It was also a DADDY BUSH YEAR! GO FIGURE!) Pine trees have "sap" from which turpentine is made ... it also has so many other wonderful healing elements. Pine nuts are one of the natural "nuts" loaded with protein. The Italians knew the tiny white nuts were of value. Pine nuts are one of the sacred parts of a great PESTO!

OZ is burning up and down! also drowning in floods... Like America. Hot, cold, wet, dry, as the Bible says, You will not know one season from the other!

Actually it is the earth evolving in her own progression as a living being. This spaceship we live on is cleaning house and developing some "NEW PARADISES... PLACES... PEOPLE..." Lots of humans like to think we are controlled by a God that JUDGES... well we are what we are and what we are is energy.

More stories begin tonight as it is raining and cold in QT New Zealand. This drop in the barometric pressure always sets my creative cells into motion... musically or written words... sometimes color, painting... I do not dance well in the rain anymore.

Secrets are escaping from the hidden chambers of my heart and mind that I thought I had buried years ago. Guess what? They are not bad memories, they are what has made me a person!

Ensemble

2009-01-30T01:46:00.000-08:00

ENSEMBLE

An "ensemble" is when a group of musicians, dancers or actors come together in concert. It could also mean "assemble"? Bringing together people that will make something beautiful, good, possibly something so very devastating it could destroy the universe! I believe that "ensemble work" is a major learning experiences for any pianist. Why? Because, pianists are truly solo musicians. They have an entire galaxy of sound at their finger tips. Pianists also suffer incredible doubts, fears and ego problems that many times can isolate them from other musicians. Accompanists MUST give and take, share kindness that enhances one purpose: MUSIC! Many parts becoming one and the one being many parts that are separate yet all in one.

In the late 60's I was asked to be the pianist for a Musical Review called "HIGH FEVER FOLLIES". It was a community fund raising project that would create an "ensemble" of local people who within a short time frame of about two weeks would produce a variety show of comedy, dancing, singing backed by a small orchestra for the performance. The sponsor of the production was an Auxiliary from the Saint Benedict's Hospital. They were women who belonged to most local clubs, Junior League, MacDowell Society, Literary Club, The Symphony Guild... People who's names and faces you would see and read about in the "SOCIETY" section of the Sunday edition of the daily newspaper.

Cargill Productions was a theatrical company in NYC. They hired out a "package" a show with director, costumes, musical scores most everything that a fund raising organization could use to make money by producing a show from local talent.
I signed the contract. I would be the rehearsal pianist, which translated into many long hours at the piano of which I did not mind. Little did I know that out of this experience I would meet some of the most lasting and meaningful friends, love affairs and learning paradigms that would last through out my life time.

The person that asked me "if" there was a possibility I would take on the job was a lovely woman but, I sensed some kind of desperation within her energy. She was possibly 10 years older than me. She told me she had four children, loved music. She was a Catholic and had worked with various charity organization within the community.
She had dark auburn hair, a very athletic body. I could tell by her mannerisms and speech She was most definitely not born or raised in the state of Utah.

Previous to my meeting with her, I had seen her at a Utah Symphony Concert. The night of that concert she wore a long gown of dark greens and blacks accented with silver jewelry. (NO GOLD?)

During the intermission she stepped outside to smoke a cigarette. I being a smoker observed the way she held her cigarette. She radiated perfect health and her fingernails were not painted. They were hands that do things... possibly play piano, garden, cook... Little did I know that months later she would meet me in the parking lot of the local College and ask me to work with her in the Follies. This meeting was the embryo of a friendship that would last from that day into my forever. This woman became a guardian angel in my personal as well as musical life.

Most of the musicians were people I knew or had heard of... We had enough instrumentalists , but we were desperate for a drummer. I called the music department at the College. There was a young man who had been made the head of the "Percussion Dept." REALLY? Never heard of such a department at Weber State College... I called him. Yes, he would come to a rehearsal and see if the times, dates and most of all, the pay worked within his hectic schedule.

The "Percussionist" arrived at rehearsal. A gorgeous man. Dark wavy hair,
mustache that matched the hair on his head. Glasses, and beautiful hands. Soft shiny dark hair on the tops of his fingers and furry arms. Could I possibly have know this man in another lifetime?

He moved his drums into the orchestra pit. He set up behind the grand piano on my left hand side. He asked if the piano could be turned slightly so he could see my hands. The first time he made a cymbal crash I felt the heat of a 1000 shards of sweet painful glass explode through my veins. He did not read the sloppy scores, he WATCHED my every move at the key board and anticipated the movements of my body, hands and mind in perfect sync.

He was a walking, breathing, talking symphony orchestra. My musical life had found a soul mate.

I discovered years ago, when I was 5 years old, That to be 'adored' would become one of the most addictive drugs I could have ever imagined. It was a craving far more potent than alcohol or pot would ever become in my lifetime.

In 1968 my picture was everywhere because of a musical review wherein I was the featured pianist. When I would walk down State Street in SLC people looked at me. They smiled at me. I would glance and see them whispering.
For some unexplainable reason I thought I had "star quality"... The drug of being ADORED soared through every vessel of my body.

Drummer Boy and I became very close friends. We used to have dinner at an Italian restaurant where they served beer. I hate beer. I loved Vodka. He drank beer, I drank coffee while eating pizza. I watched every move he made. The way he held a can of beer. The way he leaned over the table as he talked while holding a fork in his hand. The way he would lean his head back and laugh...

He told me stories about his life. He witnessed his father die of a heart attack when Drummer Boy was like 5 years old. He was raised by his grandparents. He had a voice that was between a baritone and a tenor... His voice was recorded into the canyons of my mind where voices are imprinted forever... the voices that echo deep within your DNA and you never forget. he loved cats... he would confide in me events that had occurred through out his day being a young college professor. I'd listen, but my mind would be all over the place thinking: how I could MAKE this MAN WANT ME! I need this certain "FIX"!

I had never experienced a PERCUSSION RECITAL. He was presenting a FACULTY RECITAL. He asked IF I wanted to accompany the last half of the recital because it would feature his skill playing Xylophone and required piano accompaniment. I attempted learning the music, but I declined. In part, because I simply could not discipline myself to learn the music and I felt that the new woman who had been given the position as HEAD OF THE PIANO DEPT. should be the one playing this concert. I thought over and over: "How will such a musical recital be received by people that honestly did not understand percussive sounds or how they were set into motion.

In the 70's and 80's anyone that knew me had to know my Land Lady. She had the telephone. She screened my calls and when I was gone for weeks at a time took care of my check book. She was my secretary, PR representative and protector! She adored Drummer Boy!

The night of the concert was magic. The Theater was filled with musicians as well as artists, dancers and people from the drama department.

The stage props were drums, gongs, bells and more chimes and drums. A maze of brass, silver, glinted slants of light reflecting from surfaces, like flesh, waiting to be touched, struck against, brushed... set into motion. The lights dimmed. He walked onto the stage looking amazingly handsome and confident. Two energies all men seek and envy. He was in his 'element', he knew the secret of being 'adored'... being the creator of something magical gave him complete power: star quality. At times I have compared performers of music to Porno Stars... They are beautiful men and women, but have something other people do not possess: A MAGNIFICENT INSTRUMENT that can amaze and give life to the imagination... fantasy made reality.

He moved like a classically trained ballet dancer yet something so mystically balanced between heaven and earth gave flight to his every breath. Reaching, bending, sliding, stepping, arms conducting like an eagle in flight. It was a sensuous dance from some place beyond words. Every person in the audience felt it, swam in it's transparent star waters... One did not "LISTEN" they BECAME PART OF THE MOMENT! Forever, one must remember: There are no ordinary moments. The sound unlocked hidden ideas, thoughts, the stuff angels and cherub's silken midnight sperms are made of!

Xylophone and piano were gorgeous. The Fantasie Impromptu by Chopin being one of my favorite expressions in sound. The Saber Dance by Khathuturian was dynamic. This arm of the program was reaching out to the the heart's of many people in the audience who did not understand or care to listen to the cacophony of sounds that the percussive instruments breathed life into and touched the hidden secrets of their DNA. The Xylophone and piano gave peace and rest to those that dared not go where angels never tread.

The piano and Xylophone were bliss to my heart and soul. Piano was the silver sound that I had felt and touched with my heart and soul from my infancy and hopefully to the end of my mortal life.

The event came to an end. People stood, they talked, they moved... My Land lady and I sat... I like entrances. I would know when the time was right for us to walk on the stage and embrace the artist. From that moment on into eternity he belonged to my "Private Club". He was one of my celestial siblings.

Many people have walked in and out of my life for decades. Some still sing their songs to me in dreams. At times when I am walking or meditating I hear their voices. I know they live within my heart.

Drummer Man played percussion on my first LP recording. It was a great success.
After 1979 I suffered some very difficult times economically as well as mentally. In 1980 I began a journey on a spiritual path that to this very day I am still pursuing. Many of my closest friends died in the 70's and 80's. I became a recluse. I suffered unexplainable depression. I disappeared in numerous bottles of Vodka... I drifted "in and out" of reality.

Drummer Boy moved. He was out of my life and living on a different stage. Eventually I moved. Different lighting, different make up and different theater.
I decided to make a new recording. I called him asking IF there was a possibility he would share his magic in the creation of this musical endeavor. He said YES!

I had composed a piece of music in three parts. "The Other Side Of Time". I dedicated it to a person I love with all my heart. Everything fell into place except this original piece.
I laid down the piano and string lines before leaving the piece for the engineer to perform a re-mix. Anything to make it sound musical.

Unknown to me,Drummer Boy returned to the studio on his own accord and completely orchestrated "The Other Side of Time"... He literally married my piano to a cosmic pulse that finalized the composition's final breath onto cellophane! Cassette tape.

I learned a most delicate and fragile lesson from that recording.

Love is given in many different ways and Drummer Boy gave me the greatest expression of his sincerest love: HE MADE ME SOUND FABULOUS! There is no greater love... especially for someone that has to be adored.

Ensemble

2009-01-30T01:36:00.000-08:00

Full Moon... Summer...

2009-01-12T00:51:00.000-08:00

The fullness, the abundance and energy of moon light was divine. Last night marked the 1st full moon of 2009, but when the moon is FULL, BRIGHT, ROUND AS A PERIL OUT OF HEAVEN'S OCEAN I really don't count day by day the degrees that it is blossoming or decreasing in size... main thing: It is the same moon that has been there for eons.

I know all the people I have loved and never met in the flesh gazed on that same moon! I know many people that have crossed over in my lifetime and they too exchanged light and energy with the moon!

January 2009 has proven to be a magical year so far. One thing I do appreciate is my I Pod. I also use I tunes every night and day.

I listen to Classical music on a station that comes out of Laramie Wyoming! I cannot receive a tight connection with this PBS station when I AM IN WYOMING! but, here at the bottom of planet earth I have PERFECT RECEPTION. It is a wonderful station.
KYUW Classical 91. So, I have a part of Wyoming inside my ears most of the time!

Speaking of the moon, one has to be humbled thinking that in 1604 Galileo observed for the first time, the heaven's through a telescope!
Just think what he would see today! The International Space Station! The Hubble telescope... the Mar's Rover, just think only 400 years ago the Catholic Church tried to BURN Galileo because of the things he was seeing with his telescope. At last, most people are finally accepting WHERE WE LIVE WITHIN THE UNIVERSE, THE MILKY WAY!

Finished an interesting book last night. "Running With Scissors", by Augsten Burroughs. I have always been suspicious of psychiatrists. I have known a few in my lifetime and the results have been frightening. Not adding the medications, endless hours of talking and the Doctor does not banter back and forth in the conversations... HE LISTENS! The book is worth a read because of the humor as well as the tragic subject matter that created Augsten's childhood.

I am so pleased to be able to walk down the steep paths into the village and then walk UP the steep paths that lead to our house. For two years I have had a hell of time walking because of pain... well, today I went to Simon the Physio therapist. He is from England. Young and beautiful. He has stretched my legs and relaxed the stress inside my lower back to the place it was before I had the kidney removed! The Laying on of Hands. My masseuse, Sonja, has healing powers and almost every Thursday she kneads my gnarly body until it is pliant as bread dough.

I am living a life of bliss. I get up when I want and I go to bed when I want. I work in the gardens, then lay down in the sunlight. I bake bread, I create meals, I play my piano, I take long hot baths in Epsom salts and I am feeling like myself once again. OMG, I will probably explode into one of those obese, eccentric queens that wear long gowns and have sea shell glass frames... lots of grease on their faces and droopy eye lids... NOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo!

2008 was a rough year. Lots of LESSONS that had to be learned or put aside until another lifetime. The numbers 2 and 9 are powerful numbers which are in the equation 2009 and they = 11= a MASTER NUMBER!

We have a new President in the United States... He might end up being the same thing with a different mask? We are entering a new paradigm shift spiritually and the entire planet is moving into a slower hotter vibration! NICE!

I love re watching movies that I have loved for years, so tonight will be a "Let's see, what do I want to watch?" or, possibly just meditate, or forget it, put on the I Pod, grab the book I have been reading for months, "The Confessions" by Jean-Jacques Rousseau. Read until the ear buds fall out of my ears and the book falls to the side of the bed!

Summer is heaven on earth! I take nothing for granted. End of May I will be working 14 hours a day into the night... 7 days and nights a week! I never feel guilt during these 5 months! I HAVE EARNED EVERY RESTFUL MOMENT!

A New Year... 2009

2009-01-01T23:59:00.000-08:00

I have great reason to be 'released' from 2008! I survived the past 12 months and I believe I have learned the lessons!

What a year of Lessons that HAD TO BE LEARNED and it seemed they could only be LEARNED via pain, suffering and forgiveness. Mind you, I had no idea I was carrying such an Gargantua amount of garbage and destructive emotional energy that began fermenting into quite a powerful toxic as well as fantastically healing brew from the time I was born!

I thank my lucky stars for every single vibration be it positive, negative or passive that has helped make me into the person I am today. Everything I am came from simply one word: VIBRATION!

Music was my gift, the simple 'talent' that would take me 'round the world and introduce me to some of the most bazaar as well as amazing human beings on this planet.

Music is a land where I did any damn thing I wanted because, more than any place on earth, it offered me the opportunity to CREATE my own reality. I could spend hours alone at the organ or piano IMPROVISING any image or emotions I wanted within the fame work of SOUND.

Cheat music and it will cheat on you!

Music is a land where DISCIPLINE, DEDICATION and DETERMINATION abound. Any composition will sound 'beautiful' and 'meaningful' or 'desirous' BUT and only IF, it is not performed as TRUTH, somewhere in the learning process of the composition you have "CHEATED"! I know this to be abso-fucking-lutely TRUE!

Beauty and truth in MOTION make music and dance come alive and touch the soul of the very universe we are all a part of.

Because of MUSIC I am who I am. My music lead me on a course of self discovery and learning I never imagined possible when I was a 6 year old boy! Even when I was a 43 year old man! Or when I was a 62 year old man!

2009 is an amazing number in numerology. 2 being an "active" number and 9 a number of "transition" or as some people claim it is the number of "completion"... 9+2=11... 11 is a master number!

This year is full of activity, through ongoing vibrational impulse, attempting to move everything toward transformation. When things seem to be going to hell this year REMEMBER: deliberately and consistently install moments of quietness, stillness and emptiness into your daily NOW... (these words are from my friend Diviana!)

I feel that all the people in my life I have 'created' and I see them as musical notes, triads and scales, arpeggios, some have been fast glissando's, some fortissimo, some pianissimo... some very Dolce or just andante!

Many of these gorgeous people have left the earth plane, but they vibrate and make a sound that I desire in my "Life's symphony" they are never far away, they are part of my very being. Every breath and heart beat they live and make their very presence known only to me!

My musical "mentors" are very much with me always! They are alive and live in New York, Idaho, Utah and some like Brahms or Bach have long left their bodies.

Brahms was a most complex man loving two people at once was not uncommon for him! He kept the company of men...He was extremely generous with his money, living quarters and gave men and WOMEN beautiful gifts. BUT, he was out spoken! Rude and very blunt... Honesty with no pretense.

He lost two of his dearest companions of his life within months of each other... Clara Wieck Schumann and Jochiem the violinist.

Brahms captured the confusing unsaid dilemmas of philosophy, of unrequited love, of words and touch not given in the physical but held in one's own private mind and a secret place within one's heart.

A most intuitive, very private as well as sexual thing. That is the JOY OF MUSIC! It is life!

This is going to be a "CRACKER" of a year.

Seeing places on earth where I have traveled...

2008-12-28T19:03:00.000-08:00

I am enjoying something that one must live long enough to experience and thanks to the COMPUTER I am able to explore this 'dream' in ways that years ago would have been impossible.

A week ago, I decided to search out places where I performed with the USO during the late 60's and into the 70's. This adventure has stirred up old memories of people, weather conditions, smells and emotions that I was feeling as a man in his early 20's! The anxieties, doubts, hopes, fears, insecurities and loneliness of travel...

I loved the tours I made into the Pacific Islands. The Marshall Islands have changed since I was there. I spent Thanksgiving at Eniwetok Atoll in the Marshall's around 1972. The Islands were full of radiation due to the atomic bomb testing in the 40's. (god, possibly I picked up some radiation during that time??????) I did a google search and everything MARSHALL ISLANDS popped up. It has been wonderful to see the culture, people and 2009 lifestyle of these Islanders!

I found Johnston Island. This Island had meaning to me because of it's name. Also, I visited Midway, Rota and parts of the Samoan Islands which I thought were heavenly as well as the people were heavenly.

Viet Nam, Guam, Thailand, the Philippines are nothing like when I performed on their turf except the climate, and the people look the same and I am sure that health and lifestyle has improved.

I used a Wurlitzer Electronic Piano! Today, Yamaha has a keyboard that SOUNDS LIKE AND HAS THE KEYBOARD OF A GRAND PIANO! Not in the late 60's! The piano I was hauling around had to be set for 240 voltage, not 110! I wore jump-suit tuxedos with glitter on them! We used sound systems that we thought were state of the art, but by today's standards they were dinosaurs! I remember being in the Mekong Delta and asked where my dressing room was? They handed me a large nail.

I made three trips to South East Asia. Korea and Viet Nam being the main centers. I have old photos of shows I backed in Okinawa Japan and interesting enough, I read where Okinawa is one of the healthiest places on earth to live! Dha?

Iceland was one of my favorite places. I get the Icelandic News every day via my e mail. Even Iceland has changed so much from when I was there! Alaska was simply ice and snow when I played there, so even though I loved the "NORTHERN EXPOSURE" series on television a few years ago, I never saw Alaska in the summer months.

Some places have not changed one being Morocco. Turkey was 'magical' to me when I was 22 going on 23. I remember my 23rd Birthday in Ankora. Very big drunken event! I did love Greece. I know, I know, some people hate that hot white sunshine and the food, but I thought the energy was indescribable when I was very young and swimming naked, in the sea at sunset was a religious moment to my way of thinking. The Greeks know how to make love...

I have returned to Europe a few times, but the Mediterranean I have not visited since my first USO tour in 1969. When I was in Madrid it was going through a complete 'make-over', one only has to go on line to see that city NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Memories are wonderful and time frames are precious, but the future is forever OUT THERE! I keep reaching out for more. I do not mind change. The only change I mind, some days is the change within and outside my body!

One day I'll write a book! (now that is really talking in the FUTURE!)